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read Clara Casewell, Attorney to the Villainess by cocopi
it's peak

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FYI to the webnovel writers, it is normal and standard in classic literature such as Infinite Jest to use "..." as dialogue. Just thought I'd let you guys know, in case you were self conscious about using it. There is now literary precedent, so you can do it freely without feeling shame

>>25570645
seethe

>>25570645
>worse dialogue than translated chinkshit
I thought this shit was a modern american classic?

>>25570661
Don't feed the pyncheon troll.

What would Spectral Soul do in this situation?

>>25570626
Is it gay?

>>25570645
I know webnovels aren't the pinnacle of writing standards, but if I see this shit I'm dropping immediately.

>>25570645
>infinite dogshit
LOL. (You)

>>25570645
It's either "..." or having to do a whole sentence to indicate the same 'no-response' intent. If the situation has a bunch of characters constantly unable to answer, you might as well just go for "..." while being descriptive of facial expression or mannerisms at the time in-order to pull the reader closer to the feelings involved in the thought process, which is of course, associated with THE situation that is causing such wordless exchanges to be a thing in the first place.

>>25570727
>having to do a whole sentence to indicate the same 'no-response' intent
local writer finds out he's expected to write; news at 11

>>25570764
nta but prose shouldn't get in the way of the story. You should also consider the readers experience. Why do they need to read a line about them doing ... when you can just write ",,,"
Devils advocate btw, I would never use it myself but I also wouldn't write those kind of interactions anyway.

I note silence with ellipses just to space a longer speech by another character when I'm feeling lazy and there's not a single thing you can do to stop me

>>25570764
People get tired of the writer trying to avoid "..." when it is clearly the best way forward at certain instances. It makes scenes unnecesarily drag on for way longer than they should when every attempt at avoiding "..." is accounted for.

Inner monologue is also an option.

“Listen to me.”
“...”
“I said listen.”
“...”
“Look, I know stringing together dialog is hard, but you’ve got to say something. Anything.”
“...”
“Dammit, boy! Are you going to spend the rest of this story being an autistic mute?”
“...”

“Listen to me,” the old man said. His voice was grating. “I said listen.”
What did he want me to say? What was there to say?
“Look, I know stringing together dialogue is hard, but you’ve got to say something. Anything.”
If it was only that easy.
“Dammit, boy! Are you going to spend the rest of this story being an autistic mute?”
I smiled and looked out the window. End. Scene.

>>25570764
>He picked his nose.
>He scratched his nose.
>He scrunched his nose.
Yeah, way better than "..."

Now, excuse me as I ask claude for 40 different situationally appropriate alternatives to typing "..."

>>25570791
These are not interchangeable. One sets up an air of mystery, you can't tell what the person is thinking. The other makes the character seem like a retard. You need to be always aware of what kind of message you're sending.

Anything like I shall be everlasting in the world of immortals?

>>25570805
>One sets up an air of mystery, you can't tell what the person is thinking.
“Listen to me,” the old man said.
His pale blue eyes searched my face for some sign of a reaction. I gave him nothing.
“I said listen.” He breathed. “Look, I know stringing together dialog is hard, but you’ve got to say something. Anything.”
The clock on the wall ticked steadily. Somewhere beyond the concrete walls, a printer chattered away. *Chk-chk, chk-chk, chk-chk.*
“Dammit, boy! Are you going to spend the rest of this story being an autistic mute?” He shot to his feet, his chair scraping across the floor.
Still, he got nothing.

>>25570829
>*Chk-chk, chk-chk, chk-chk.*
Aaaaaaaand... your reader just dropped you. Congrats.
Seriously. It immediately took me out of the immersion it was building itself into.

hey RETARDS!
this is NOT the WRITING general!
**FUCK OFF**

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>>25570855
The last thread was dead until somebody brought up writing.
Admit it, with a RS lineup like this, there isn't a whole lot to talk about.

>>25570876
>muh rising stars
I've never looked at that shit

>>25570876
I wondered why the RS looked so different from usual and then realized I wasn't logged in, so the filter wasn't on and half the list was openly AIslop. Grim

>>25570651
raped

>>25570829
now ask yourself if any of those details were important and moodsetting, or if you're just tediously padding word count

sometimes you just gotta realize trimming is better for the story/pacing, imagination can fill in the gaps just fine, and silence can also speak volumes

>>25570925
What filters do you use?

>>25570876
>demonic rock
>png with mspaint cover
Absolute cinema, reading this rn

>>25571200
it actually only recently switched to the mspaint cover, don't fall for it

>>25571043
Just excluding AI-assisted and AI-generated. Pretty useless when 90% don't tag either, but I'll take 10% less damage over max hits

>>25571254
Should a man not be able to learn and change his ways?

first person or third person for a silly jfantasy story?

>>25571263
depends on what your story needs.

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Can somebody explain why this style of dialogue and this style of describing a scene is so common in rr novels?
What is wrong with those authors? It feels like I'm reading a script of some sitcom characters.
10000 tragedies is not like this and has a prose and style of an actual book.

>>25571285
Can you explain what you're even talking about?

>>25571285
that's a normal scene
boring, not written great, but normal
so, what this anon said >>25571306

>>25570619
>NTR Edition
You’ve piqued my interest

>>25571285
It's a pretty dry sequence and the dialogue feels stilted. That's the problem here, not the prose.

>>25571315
>>25571321
If you were to record a short video of an interaction like a family having dinner and then accurately transcribe in exact order what everyone said, that would be the pic I posted previously. I am reading Talent beyond Limits and doesn't feel like story telling but a shitty transcription or just a dialog script.

>>25571345
why do you read so much AI slop? what is wrong with you

>>25570645
genuinely what the fuck

>>25571345
I can't help but admire the author having the balls to shift from a dinner scene to three days later without any attempt at an organic transition or even a line break. You're not worthy of tying this narrative visionary's shoelaces

>>25571395
>the author having the balls
the author is a robot. its literally tagged as ai

>>25571411
Robot's bolder than 95% of wannabe authors and 50% of fanfic writers. Are you willing to take risks?

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The Malfoid trend is repulsive, but it has given me light inspiration for the concept of a short work I might do.
I'm trying to write a very pop and mellow main character, and I wonder if this writing style (pic related) is annoying or obnoxious. Haven't handed it off to me beta yet bear in mind. I'm going a lot heavier on descriptions though, since I want to exploit my main character's more aloof perspective, I'm taking inspiration from some Japanese WNs and LNs I like on that one.

>>25570645
Yes, that's just a single convention for a beat of silence in a conversation. Trying to mimic DFW is a messy road to go down tho

>>25570645
My creative writing teacher gave me shit for using "..." back when I was in high school.

>>25571692
Did he do anything worth remembering him for or...?

>>25571704
(S)he was a high school teacher that I do not remember for anything else really, partly because I just took it as filler when I took an additional 13th year to kill time.

>>25571706
Then tell your mental image of her to fuck off and start using "..." as much as you fucking want. If they keep getting in the way, lock them in a mental prison and keep going. Unlock them when they are sorry.

>>25571692
As she should have

is this idea too meta/cringe?

first person pov disguised as third person omniscient, about a goddess obsessed with her atheist isekai MC

>>25571913
it's kino. RR is probably too retarded for you write it as a twist though without getting flak

>>25571928
>when you have to tag every single damn twist or future spoiler otherwise people will bitch
the fatal flaw of tag culture...

>>25571913
Welcome back Nine Hours, Nine Persons, Nine Doors

What are gu?

Is there a single good ecchi harem story in a western wn?

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>>25572315
if it was allowed to exist

>>25572315
>western
there's not a good eastern one either

>>25571928
>>25571963
Just don't tag. Yeah commenters will whine and you'll get a few negative ratings. If you write good interesting stuff you'll get enough positive ratings to balance out.
Almost none of the actually good stories on RR have higher than a 4.55 rating, and most hover between 3.9 and 4.4. You gotta take risks. The only thing that REALLY matters is paying patreon subscribers.

>>25572372
how do they define "core element" or "centralized driving point of the story"

>>25572407
>Almost none of the actually good stories on RR have higher than a 4.55 rating, and most hover between 3.9 and 4.4
this is the exact opposite of my experience
nothing i've liked has less than a 4.5
but i think you're the guy reading and posting about ai slop every day so... you're the real royalroad guard lol

fuck it
just break the prohibited rules but hide it deep within prose and plot so dense no brainlet could ever make it that far and get upset enough to report you

>>25572422
That's probably happened a dozen times by now

>>25572422
>be a tradpub pseud that doesn't get readers
brilliant advice

>>25572427
its about sending a message

>>25572432
sending a message to no one lmao

>>25572416
Eh maybe you're right. A bunch of the more popular stories I follow that I consider good but don't necessarily follow the day chapters release have scores ranging from 4.6-4.8. They're good too but I follow a larger number of stories with scores 3.9-4.55.

Regardless I don't think a slavish obsession with rating and avoiding negativity to the point of spoiling twists is helpful, useful, or good.

>>25572453
>but I follow a larger number of stories with scores 3.9-4.55.
i've seen you post and try to spark discussion about like 4 ai written stories in a row
i don't think your opinion means anything
i don't think you're really human

>>25572408
>core element
heterosexual
>centralized driving point
penis in vagina

>>25571616
why does this 12 year old act like a 29 year old blackpilled swc

>>25572479
He'd have less to say if I wrote him properly within his age, and if I aged him up to my usual character writing then I'd completely miss the point of the trend I'm currently chasing.
I was thinking about dumbing down his dialogue. The slave mindset aspects are pretty essential to his early character though.

>>25571616
>everyone managing me and the other boys died
I read this as everyone including the other slaves died. Why not just say the guards died. Also it should "we're free".

>>25571616
>The Malfoid trend is repulsive
blonde tsuns are best romance targets and you have no taste, disgusting creature

>>25570764
i figure jack reacher probably isn't well liked by /wng/ but this reminds me of the 'Reacher said nothing' gag in a few of his novels and short stories. i personally find it funny, so maybe being factual and blunt in the writing isn't a bad way to go about it?

>>25572540
retard

>>25572518
you could just have an actual blonde tsundere instead of genderbending a harry potter character

>>25571616
>>25572479
>>25572488
My two cents:
First person prose reads like the recounting of past experience by your character, also not helped by the fact that someone who is twelve would not be aware of the average mindset of someone who is twelve, only hindsight... Gives that insight.

You could circumvent that with third person imo since you can merge MC voice and narrator voice and explain away any inconsistencies.

>>25572573
why would an original blonde tsun become a flash-hit meme?
you're too retarded for me to understand what your point is

>>25572585
i dislike genderbender and harry potter.

>>25572603
erm achtually its not genderbender, as that would imply male malfoy got genderswapped

its just rewriting the story from the start with a female version, which coincidentally solves like ten major problems with the story

>>25572608
ok if you did that with all the characters it might be worth reading

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>>25572644
>if [all of] Harry Potter were rewritten... it would be interesting
Anon, you are standing on the precipice of an endless pit of Harry Potter fan fiction. This is your warning. Step back slowly.

All of the Harry Potter fan fiction I've read so far has been shit. Any recs?

>>25572711
No, idiot. /lit/ has one board specific rule: no fanfiction. Discuss it on /b/ or /trash/.

>>25572720
>/lit/ is for the discussion of literature, specifically books (fiction & non-fiction), short stories, poetry, creative writing, etc. If you want to discuss history, religion, or the humanities, go to /his/. If you want to discuss politics, go to /pol/. Philosophical discussion can go on either /lit/ or /his/, but those discussions of philosophy that take place on /lit/ should be based around specific philosophical works to which posters can refer.

>>25572315
Any recommendations? I have never looked them up so i can't imagine an Ecchi with just western characters and the usual anime pacing not present at all.
Also, isn't that just softcore?

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>>25572726

>>25572777
try reading. it doesn't say that fan-fic discussion is not welcome, it says that fan-fic is not welcome.

>>25572784
wrong

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>>25572784
I'm not going to argue the grammar with you with a sentence diagram but it's the same as the second amendment.
"fan-fic is not allowed" is explicit and definitive.

Where would fan-fic be discussed though

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Holy fuck, this is insufferable dogshit. This is a lot of people's favorite book series of ALL TIME?

>>25572786
wrong

>>25572788
>I'm not going to argue with you
>argues with me
you are wrong btw

>>25572488
>I was thinking about dumbing down his dialogue
Don't worry bro, it's already more than dumb enough. I can easily believe the author is a 12-year-old

>>25572603
>>25572585
>>25572573
>>25571616
I really like the whole Malfoid thing because it shows how accepting normies are of nazis now. Half the Malfoid jokes are "haha, she only likes pure bloods! So cute!" Really goes to show just how desperate people are for cute girls.

>mfw tried writing degenerate goonslop
>its fun as fuck
What the fuck is wrong with me.

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>>25572924
uhm excuse me, you are not allowed to talk about fan-fic here

>>25572957
It's an insane rule in the year of our lord 2026, given how much original content it spawns.

>>25572990
if web novels were a thing when the fanfic rule was made, without a doubt they would have been included as well

>>25572993
>All literature discussion is welcome, however fan-fic and webnovels are not allowed.
In a better world...

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>wu hao attempting a suicide grind again
>master keeps trying to stop him being leeroy jenkins
Unending keks.

>>25572578
My usual style is third person, so it probably would be better to do that I guess.
I just really like first person narration Japanese LNs a lot and wanted to try my hand at them for a bit, but given how I planned to have two leading perspectives in the work, it'd probably be best if I switched over.
Thanks for the advice.
>>25572852
Thanks anon...

Do you read on your phone or your PC? Remember most readers use phones nowadays.

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>>25573026
I read on my Kobo Aura ONE
it's peak

>get a sudden surge of views in the past 15 minutes
I'm sure these are all from very real people.

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With HP's surge of interest, we'll probably be seeing an influx of academy stories again, all having a racist blonde tsundere waifu.
But this time, I really wish they'd do away with the anime/visual novel/litRPG nonsense and go back to having straight-up fantasy stories that actually feel fantastical again.
I'm sick to death of this lame ass era we're living in.

>>25573197
You mean on RR? Koreans never stopped writing them. It's like the only setting other than gates they can think of.

>>25573197
i have unironically read almost all of that.
academy necromancer and academy pink airhead is kino. killed academy player and extra academy survival is ok.
the rest is shit.

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>>25572790

>>25572790
The Lord of the Mysteries is fucking kino. The only flaw is that the last volumes were giga rushed. That yellow nigga should have written at least 10 volumes.

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winnies with puppeteer protagonist?

>>25572744
>isn't that just softcore
Depends on how far the ecchi goes, I guess.

Another low-quality thread thanks to bickering always-right 12-25 year oldnewfaggotry.

>>25573475
I'm 32 though

>>25573482
Yes, outliers exist within most if not all sample sizes.

>>25573486
do you know who I am?

>>25573475
...

>>25573488
The Juggernaut?

>>25573502
I'm the What would Spectral Soul do? spammer, I'm the read Clara Casewell, Attorney to the Villainess by cocopi ritual poster, I'm the what the FUCK is a ${x} retard, I'm the what are gu? questioner.
I get like 30-50 (You)s in every thread!
Lower your voice in my presence!

>>25573505
>RIspammer
Good on you for relocating from /sffg/, not that the lack of your presence improved the general with your contemporary Bakkerfag. You've been doing this since 2019.

read reverend insanity

>>25573505
No diffed by Popeye btw.

>>25573505
>I get like 30-50 (You)s in every thread!
that means nothing when you're like half of this entire thread by post volume

>>25573505
Only by executing this one guy, like 95% of the world's problems could be solved immediately

>>25573527
Nta. Real RI poster here, regarding /sffg/ despite my best efforts to enlighten those people, their ignorance knows no bounds.

>>25573300
honestly always been interested in puppeteer/doll premise, l loved mabinogi's puppet class but never created a scenario for one

>>25573026
I read physical books only. web novels on RR I only read at my PC

Am I the only one that thinks it's retarded when someone gets hit, and characters shout their name? As in:
>The tentacle whipped and flung Alice to the wall.
>"Alice!" yelled Bob.
I know it's probably an anime thing, but it looks stupid, and it seems like every author and her mother is doing it.

>>25573622
this is far from an anime thing

>The tentacle whipped and flung Alice to the wall.
What would Spectral Soul do in this situation?

>>25573622
your brain is rotted if you think that's an anime thing

>>25573664
>>25573646
To be fair, I don't watch any TV/movies, and I'm fairly sure western novels don't do it (outside of slop)

>>25573622
>>25573668
It's a TV/movie thing more than anything, that got back imported into WNs since most WN writers don't really read (except for other WNs) and are largely inspired by mediums like anime.

>>25573668
>>25573718
i see people do it in videogames when their teammate dies

>>25573622
>an anime thing
Epic of Gilgmesh and the Iliad are my favorite anime

>>25573622
>The tentacle whipped and flung anon's mom to the wall.
>"Well, I'm glad it's over!" yelled anon

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Uh oh

>>25574200
lmao

>>25574200
they think "retard" and "trap" are slurs too. joke of a site full of fags

>>25574225
one of those is tho
you just have to be more accepting of slurs. Only fags hate slurs entirely.

It would be such a shame if someone cloned the website under the FoidBattles.

>Regarding the term "foid"
>Hello SBers, it has recently come to the attention of the staff that many users are using the term "foid" or "femoid" or "X-foid" in reference to women or female characters, particularly due to a recent internet fad related to genderbent Draco Malfoy from Harry Potter. To be clear, it is only the word "-foid" that the staff has a problem with, not this fad itself.

>The staff will like to politely remind you that we consider this term to be a slur and chan behavior on SB, and thus in violation of both General Rule 7A and General Rule 4A.

>Please refrain from using this word or its derivatives on SB. Given that many users will have learned of this term through this fad and not realize the context, we will only be giving out warnings without infraction points for first time offenses.

>Thank you,
>SB Staff

>>25573622
I honestly think this comment is a sign of fundamental NGMI. As a writer you need to be able to model a scenario in your head, or the various ways that such a scene would go. And what other reaction is there to someone you know and are close to being suddenly attacked in a crippling or vicious way?
Besides gasping or freezing up, the only imaginable dialogue is either cursing in surprise or shouting "Name!"
It exists in all media forms. People undoubtedly do it in real life. I bet I've done it myself, if in lower stakes situations ofc

>>25574323
Why is genderbent Draco suddenly a meme anyway? I keep seeing fad chasing artists doing it, seeing Harry Potter fanfics in rising stars too, what's with the sudden resurgence?

>>25574345
Why is anything a critical popularity meme? Nobody can really answer that
Blonde tsuns have always been popular, it scratched an itch and momentum created momentum

>>25574345
Normies are ten years behind on everything.

>>25574345
I don't fucking know, harry potter is popular and twitter loves trannies, i guess there's that
The world has been too gay for my liking for a good while now, i think it's good that i don't understand

>>25574345
Normalfags have zero creative thinking ability and love megapopular trash such as Harry Potter.
>knew girl in grad school who "read" books
>bookshelf was Harry Potter and romantasy (Maas shit)
This girl is a 30s something licensed mental health counselor at the moment, btw.

>>25574360
>The world has been too gay for my liking for a good while now, i think it's good that i don't understand
i hope you at least have the self awareness that you're the old man yelling at clouds that has existed for 2000+ years

>>25574363
>This girl is a 30s something licensed mental health counselor at the moment, btw.
it sounds like she's a normal person who fits with typical social norms so why would her being a mental health counselor be bad? you go to one of those if you want to be a normie yourself
if you're fine being mentally ill and a reject loner that doesn't fit in, you wouldn't go to her
makes sense to me

>>25574366
Sometimes, anon, it really is the kids that are wrong

>>25574370
>it sounds like she's a normal person who fits with typical social norms
You're right about that. At her peak, she was fucking six dudes a month off Tinder.

>>25574366
>New thing good!!!!
Peak goybrain

>>25574376
said everyone ever for millennia, though?
i mean, you're right, being the new wave doesn't mean you're correct, but you're also just shaking your fist at the clouds right now so i'm pointing that out
>the world is too gay
isn't a point being made
honestly most complaints here are terminally online people complaining about extreme fringe groups like whatever site algorithms they got sucked into
go talk to people in real life and none of them are gay or trans or whatever the fuck you're whining about right now. trump is president in america, right-leaning groups lead a ton of countries, the majority of people obviously don't agree with that shit
you're just WAY too online

>>25574380
retard without a thought in his head
>>25574379
i know i'm right

>>25574384
xD

>>25574384
>retard without a thought in his head
Why did you sign your post?

>>25574383
Anon you're giving this way too more thought than i did, let's just say you're right and move on

>>25574403
>stock quip, can't even write your own
yep
>>25574404
fair, i will admit i had a minor meltie for little reason, i just find those "omg i'm old and society is so bad these days" posts annoying, it seems so brainless to me
i'm not a zoomer either im 30. i just hate vague thoughtless whining in all its forms

>>25574412
Nobody asked

>>25574458
seethe baby boy

>>25574471
You're the one who's seething doe

>>25574471
>>25574472
What does you being new to 4chan have to do with webnovels?

>>25574472
>>25574474
seethe

>>25574471
>>25574472
>>25574474
>>25574491
seething

>>25574498
>>25574491
>>25574474
>>25574472
>>25574471
>>25574458
>>25574412
>>25574404
>>25574403
>>25574394
seethe

>>25574491
>>25574498
>>25574502
You're supposed to end the joke with seethed. This is why you're ngmi.

>>25574507
seethe

this is almost as bad as when FFF-anon was around

>>25574541
i honestly miss those days, along with Tina. they were entertaining in a lolcow way
now it's just some guy who reads AI stories and posts about them constantly. he's retarded and stupid as fuck in a non-entertaining way

>>25574541
Hate to see a newfag have a breakdown. Intelligence across the globe is decreasing and the youth (~18-24)'s suicide rates are currently higher than the previous peak from 1994.

>>25574541
f anon created threads that were 500-600 posts long, probably breaking /lit/ records
to say this is comparable means you're one of the seethers above

FFF-anon rehabilitation was not on my bingo card

I can't imagine fighting in the general thread for works written at a third grade reading level.

lolcows > boring, genuine retards
simple as

>>25574585
It's sixth grade actually

>>25574559
>probably breaking /lit/ records
>came to 4chan during or after 2016
pffffffffffffffffffffffffLOL

okay so (and this is a check on your own integrity) what thread went longer than 600?
im sure it exists at some point over a decade
but you don't know it by name or you'd have said it
spineless and pathetic

>>25574598
>dismissive newfaggy non-quote
didn't realize I was replying to a talking vagina

pathetic
like i said you're not even an interesting retard, you're just a normal retard
go read your ai slop you dumb fucking faggot

>>25574605
You are a talking vagina LOL