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First for best duo!

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Actual first for EXISTENTIAL DREAD.

>>41141486
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OchyYnlHTdo

>The butter yellow pegasus

>>41141768
>the rainbow-maned pegasus

>>41141768
If that's what you're quoting, you've not even glimpsed the true kino of that fic.

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>bloated the opening of my fic with nearly a full page of scenery and description
>again
Anyone else writing for the wrong century? I think the Victorians would appreciate me spending an entire paragraph on a tree.

>>41141795
My gut is telling me it isn't worth it and is indeed bloated as hell, but maybe it's just pure kino and you're a literary genius.
Post it.

>>41141795
Victorian English is the PEAK of the language. Admittedly, if you don't know what you're doing it's very easy to get it wrong and make the descriptions pointless filler.
But 'Victorian' doesn't mean 'purple prose', it means that the author had the freedom to use the words as they wanted instead of needing to constantly rush to dialogue. Last week I gave up on my ASoIaF reread and read Alice in Wonderland (+sequel) instead, and even though it's a children's book, it reads so much better it's unreal. It's very imaginative, witty, and its logic-based/wordplay humor is actually funny. And it's neat to understand the references. It became my favorite non-pony story I read in 2024.

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According to all known laws of thaumaturgy, the unicorn should not be able to use magic.
>/FSSBC/
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/117741/its-impossible
This fic is pretty interesting. Basically, it's a 7k word crackfic with 17k more words of "alternate endings" stapled onto it. That makes it read like a CYOA / classic RPG / a VN where (You)'re reloading after every bad end to get to the real ending. Only... the endings are not even in order, and there's no rhyme or reason to how they're presented. Most are complete shitposts or 1:1 shallow copies from other media, but a few seem to have at least a bit of thought put into them. As for what it all adds up to, I can't really say. I didn't hate the fic, but I can't say I liked it too much, either. A couple jokes are decent (I smiled at the VHS rewinding/forwarding), but overall it does the [Comedy] tag justice by not being very funny. It certainly is [Random], though. It also puts Lesson Zero Twi on the cover only to introduce her as a princess in the first chapter, which I'd be remiss not to mention.
It helps that it's not written horribly, like [Random] tends to be. Well, it is okay on a technical level, but it's pretty bad as far as delivering on the actual function of writing is concerned. For example, when the demon thingy gets introduced, there's nothing to describe how he looks. Is he a biped? Quadruped? When Twi has her "Seeing" moment with the cosmos and the future god-Twi, the writing tries to go for something fancy and falls horribly flat. It even has the hallmark of an amateur fanfic work—an alt. set of M6 OCs. The Prench pony randomly tossing in French expressions used in English hurt just a little.
I won't say too much about characters being OOC, because it's pretty clear that they do only what the plot expects them to do, and the genre warps characterizations to allow for that. That bending includes the fic's premise, by the way, since Twi's entire argument is woefully unscientific. Then again, going from Canterlot to Ponyville on hoof takes a few minutes here, so I doubt accuracy was the writer's priority. But he definitely had a lot of fun with it, and the fic is kind of genuine in its shitposty nature, so I can't bring myself to dislike it. I don't have any strong feelings about it.
Next week we're reading:
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/99236/lets-be-evil
You should decide what we'll read after, too:
>https://ponepaste.org/8813

>>41141878
I read this story at night, and had a delightful time.
Honestly, I snickered, I gasped, I laughed. I enjoyed myself through the great three chapters of this story. I had such a delightful time that I didn't even bother reading the alternate endings at the time.
"It's Impossible" is a great little fic that I wholeheartedly recommend to anyone who wants to kill twenty minutes, and have a good time.
...
A'ight, about those alternate endings. They're all essentially different stories altogether. Some build upon what the main story does, while others just go on completely different tangents. I don't think these are as good as the core story. They're fine if you want more, but those three chapters alone have been one of my best reading experiences in recent memory.
>voting
For a change of pace, The Fishbowl?, I think we should try something bigger.

>>41141878
>I didn't hate the fic, but I can't say I liked it too much, either.
That's kind of where I'm at as well. Granted, I'm also not in a mental state capable of having complex thoughts right now, but overall my general impression of the story was that it's just okay, and fine for what it is. I do wish I could make a longer post, but I'm afraid I'm still too mentally checked out for that. At least it happened on a rather silly fic like this one and not on something else.
>Lesson Zero
That's It's About Time, actually. DYEWTS?

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>>41142028
>I had such a delightful time that I didn't even bother reading the alternate endings at the time.
See, that's my main issue with it. I'm a known hater of the Comedy+Random tag combo so I could concede that the first part was pretty funny if you like that kind of humor, but even looking at it objectively, you're ignoring >70% of the story here. The first story was the best one (maybe except the alt ending with the demon of knowledge and Rarity Lady of the Veil, assuming that's original), but I don't think it's fair to just pretend the next 17k don't exist. And these endings are mostly bad; they're context-less snippets at best, and at worst a re-framing of a scene from some other movie/show with ponies acting OOC. The Celestia interrogation ripped off from that one Avatar meme is terrible. They're prose shitposts.

>>41142186
>fine for what it is
Yeah, my post might've sounded a bit harsh. Like, I wouldn't ever downvote this.
>That's It's About Time
...fuck. Mental typo or something. Time to commit sudoku.

>>41141847
I got bored pretty quickly.

>>41142385
Sounds like you need a diet of heroin, coal, asbestos, and chimney sweeping to fully appreciate it.

>>41141847
And I thought I was pretentious.

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Is there a single good "human shows up with knowledge of the show, proceeds to fuck with the timeline" story?

>>41142934
>Is there a single good "human [...]" story?
No.

What do Diamond Dogs do with the gems they collect?

>>41142934
Spoilers ahead, but while I can't think of any that'd fully meet your criteria, there are a few fics that fit the first two requirements (good and "human with FiM knowledge").
What a Strange Little Colt has a protag who has watched the show. This information is relevant to the decisions he makes in the fic, but the reader isn't told about it until the finale. Though it's almost the opposite scenario, where he feels guilty about potentially influencing the timeline by simply existing.
For something totally different but also good, you could spend three minutes reading Mason. I liked its atmosphere and approach to HiE.

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>>41142952
I was going to mention that, but the fact that he doesn't fuck with the timeline is a key ingredient among the several that are required to make that story even worth reading at all.
So, the answer is still Pirene.

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>>41142959
But also not Pirene because that also doesn't have timeline fuckery.

>>41142934
I promise that this will be far from what you expect.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/33512/myouve-gotta-be-kidding-me

>>41142934
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/500819/

>>41143475
Possibly relevant for once, kek.

>>41143594
That's the best recommandation that was given.

>>41143930
For the worst request this thread has had.

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You may not like it, but this is what peak fimfiction looks like.
>/FSBC/

It would be far more reasonable be to open with something like "It's Fluttershy's world, and we're all just living in it", but that's boring. Seriously, this fic is so amazingly good in a lot of aspects where it really, really matters. It also stumbles just a tiny teensy bit in some other spots, but to be quite desu with you, it could get away with a lot more than it does, and I'd still adore it. It only asks you to tolerate its LUS and provides something great if you do.

Alright, alright, let's do this properly. Before I say anything else, it's clear that the author's unabashed love for FiM permeates every inch of this story. The nerve on this guy! Luckily, he happened to post his fic in a place where people like this one little show a lot, too. You can almost feel how glad he must have been to include all these little references to the show in spots where they don't feel out of place, like the two lines of So Many Wonders snuck into Twi&FS's dialogue or the dozens of offhand S1&S2 references in the fic. I believe that this is what they call TRVE SOVL.
But I'm burying the lede yet again; the fic's AU and its characters are a far better and more significant example of this. Dear Celestia, I'd take this fic's approach to AU and "pony" over twenty TWOLOTs (and I liked that fic). Every single character—no exceptions—is written super well here. They are exactly who they should be in this AU, which itself respects the show so much more than 99% of the AUs we read. I see why AU stands for gold. It's easily one of the most FiM stories I've read. If you were to tone down the violence in the finale, this could be a show episode, and a very good one at that. A rare few fics could claim the same. The little touches like AJ's connection to her parents (because someprincess didn't send her family to colonize the place next to a deadly forest) or Twi's more obsessive personality (with no Celestia to guide her and everypony believing her to be a schizo) demonstrate a level of care for the M6 that I don't think I've seen in any AU. Unlike literally all of them, this story has the author writing the AU *for* the characters instead of writing some cool worldbuilding/idea and retrofitting the main mares into it or just writing them plainly OOC like Numbers did. Oh, and this fic might have the best portrayal of Ponk among all the fics on the site. And I do mean it; she's the perfect early-season Pinkie. Just... wow. I could nitpick Twi's arguments going a bit hard, but that's totally appropriate for this Twi. 12/10 characterizations because they're 20% cooler, get it? I am not sorry for this.
(1/2)

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>>41144056
(2/2)
For the sake of completeness, I should mention what the fic did less than ideal. One, the writing. Kinda. The beginning of the fic has that distinct "I am not the best writer, but, as Celestia is my witness, I *will* write it the best I can" feeling that some of the imperfect stories have. Though it's not even bad-bad (at all!) and it's really sweet to see him git gud as he was writing it; the second half is just good. Well, minus his insistence on using an absurd amount of LUS, but even that can be partially excused as something giving it a more 2012 feel. Because the fic does read exactly how, I think, we would all like a "2012 fic" to read. This is the best "2012 fic" I've seen, and I will not let silly things such as "publication date" convince me otherwise! And because I tend to exaggerate my opinion sometimes, I'll add that this is now possibly one of my favorite fics on the site. Were I to write it a review, I would try to convince myself to give it the elusive 10/10 grade.
There were two smaller things that I nonetheless disliked more: the stupid tree and the Princess's non-princessiness. I shouldn't really hold it against the fic, but the dumb rock tree felt out of place. This is such an E01&E02 story, and including one of the worst parts of the middle seasons was in poor taste. Similarly, while I understand that this Celestia spent the last millennium as a vagrant rather than a ruler, the way the fic has them (and the narration) decisively reject their rightful status had too much... finality, I guess? It feels like it goes out of its way to say "and they won't ever rule Equestria", when it really didn't need to do that.

One thing that I'm sure someone is about to point out is that the EoH sequence was super rushed and not really a natural story progression from the first half. And you know what? It's true! I can think of some other media that had the exact same structure/problem in its opening two episodes. Yep, I can't even be upset because of how it mirrors Friendship is Magic parts 1 and 2. Going back to the opening line I wrote here, I think I stand by it. This is realistically not too far from perfection.

So yeah, next week we're reading the first half of:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/25694/changeling-heart-and-the-new-moon
Chapters 1-16 this week and 17-30 the week after.

>>41144056
The White Mare was like a one-night stand that started with a blaze of glory. Oozing charm and soul, it seduced me with its magic. Then each new chapter was another cold, harsh morning after.

The seeds of ruin were there from the start, if I'm honest, but I was hooked by that prologue and those first two chapters.
Fluttershy's grand epiphany and her fateful encounter with Celestia? SOVL.
Twilight reenacting her Winter Wrap Up shenanigans with the critters? Charming (I'm a simple creature.)
And picturing Rarity being dragged across Equestria by her horn for days on end? KINO.

But then, with the regularity and lifelessness of an assembly line, the other elements started marching in. Formulaic.
Applejack? Couldn't have cared less (Make the joke). Her stint as a door-to-door peddler held some mild interest, I guess. Call me autistic for nitpicking, but shrinking her with poison joke like the show did was not just unoriginal, but nonsensical. In the show it played as an ironic twist on her relationship with her "little" sister. Here it just... happens.
A minor detail, sure, but a missed opportunity nonetheless. More could've been done to actually enhance the chapter.

Rainbow Dash gets roped into some Sky Ranger bullshit I just couldn't buy or bring myself to care about. Her refusing to tell Fluttershy about Celestia (despite Fluttershy confiding in Dash as a filly) because she "wasn't allowed to unless Fluttershy opened up to her first" also felt like a cop-out.
Pinkie Pie was just a bit too much... well, fanfic Pinkie for my tastes.
I'll give credit where it's due though: "Great! I love getting letters!" is dumb but got a genuine chuckle out of me. So there's that.

But the real gutpunch, the final knife-twist, was the prose itself:
The butter yellow pegasus. The pale yellow pegasus. The rainbow maned patrol pony. The chromatic patrol pony. The soft yellow mare's aquamarine eyes. On and fucking ON.
I found myself drowning in a sea of shitty, overused epithets. Spotting an actual name or pronoun was like coming up for air.
I'm no "Lavender Unicorn Syndrome" obsessive, but holy hell is it egregious here.
It's an easy target because it's just that bad. But more than that, it's symptomatic of the fic's prose as a whole - bland, overly verbose, and chock full of lifeless descriptions that linger pointlessly without evoking anything to justify their length. (Overly harsh, I know. It has bright spots. I'm just disappointed. It deserved better.)

I didn't much care for the ending either. Skipping the forest trek was smart - coulda bloated the fic. But it weakened the Element of Harmony reveal (even if the show played it a bit on-the-nose).

And Celestia, built up as this mystical, divine figure, even more than in canon, only to end up catfighting with Nightmare Moon? Silly, but the good kind of silly.

Easy read, would still suggest. It has SOVL even if tarnished, and that early fandom vibe.

>>41144056
Well I'm phoneposting so I'm definitely dont want to type a bunch out bunch the white mare was fantastic. I loved everything about it except for Applejack's stupid accent which lowered enjoyment every chance it got which thankfully wasn't many (and apparently it was already dialed back). Why would she even have this heavy of an accent when she has always been on the road? She should have less of an accent if she never stays in the same place. And then there was perhaps a bit too much 'tail hiking' being used as some sort of all encompassing gesture. Othere than that though, the fic was amazing. Very showlike AU that manages to have about 70% of the fic take place at Fluttershy's house and still be a fun read.
>Buttershy - Flutterbye
>secret royal guard
Kino
>strategic ostrich reserve
And I liked the elements being butterflies

>>41144099 me being a phoneposting nigger because I'm in portland

>>41144078
>rd and fs
Yeah that part was retarded. Fluttershy already told her about tia before rd was a royal guard and she fucking laughed at her. Saying she couldn't tell fluttershy until fluttershy tried to confide in her again is retarded.
And I was also with you a bit in that after the first 2 ponies I feared what was gonna happen next. Shy, Twi and Rarity was a smart intro move. The rest don't mesh nearly as well (but at least RD has a reason to show up) AJ really doesn't. And ponk saying 'sugarcube' just highlights how shitty AJ's speech is

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>>41144078
I might be a little defensive over this fic. I swear that's not because I think my opinion is the only correct one, but I really, really loved it and have to do something. It is, admittedly, very much "my" kind of fic.
>A minor detail, sure, but a missed opportunity nonetheless.
Oh you cannot just nitpick those little details without mentioning literally all the other good bits that did make it in. I was sold a lot earlier, but the moment Apple parents were mentioned was when the fic really confirmed (to me) that it absolutely knows what it's doing. It feels like every other page another great idea was woven into this masterpiece of a fic. Maybe a masterpiece with some flaws, but still one shining its light into the darkness of the site. AJ is not the fic's highlight, but she's not bad. In a lesser fic, her story would be something to point out as good. She's just suffering from how great the rest is.
>Rainbow Dash gets roped into some Sky Ranger bullshit I just couldn't buy or bring myself to care about.
Oh come on, Sky Ranger Rainbow Dash was a super cool idea. It was done better than 90% of the "cool" AUs with some edgy Equestrian Secret Service. And the reveal with her badge and the spiel about Royal Guard keeping watch for a thousand years was top tier.
>Pinkie Pie was just a bit too much... well, fanfic Pinkie for my tastes.
Genuinely what the hell, this is the perfect Pinkie. She's been consistently super fun, and all without going screechy and over-the-top like most of her appearances in fics and a lot of her character in later seasons of the show. I will not say that she carried the fic because the fic was soaring so high that it did not need help carrying itself, but just her scenes alone (and there are dozens of very fun non-Pinkie scenes) blow most Comedy-tagged fics out of the water.
>bland, overly verbose, and chock full of lifeless descriptions that linger pointlessly without evoking anything to justify their length
Boo, bad take. You cannot praise a fic for SOVL only to later berate is for LUS; these two go hoof in hood regardless of what we'd like. Aside from LUS, I think it ranges from fine to good, tending towards the latter in the second half.
Also, I find it curious that you scarcely mentioned the M6 depictions and their interactions when that's -- in my opinion, of course -- the fic's second biggest strength after its fantastic show-faithful AU.

>>41144099
>definitely dont want to type a bunch out bunch the white mare was fantastic
You can always type it out when you get back, this fic deserves all the praise. I had to fucking double-post, even though I usually tend to stop myself.
>and apparently it was already dialed back
I almost want to look up an old version of it (if one exists) to see how truly bad it was.
>I liked the elements being butterflies
Yeah, that was really nice, too. Then again, so was most of the fic.

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>>41144120
>being in portland
That must be fun, seen any drug zombies?

>>41144056
Phoneposting at a party and I still haven't finished the fic, but so far it's really just okay. It does this really annoying thing where it splits a character's dialogue between subsequent paragraphs, which is really distracting, especially combined with the extreme LUS on display. I'll reserve further judgement on the story until I'm done, but I'm really not impressed so far. I'm surprised you seem to have liked it so much, it's nothing special to me.

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>>41144160
>It does this really annoying thing where it splits a character's dialogue between subsequent paragraphs
Do you mean stuff like picrel (also LUS on display)? Because I'm usually the first to ree about weird/annoying formatting and here I hardly noticed it.

>>41144168
That, yeah, but that particular example isn't too bad. There are far worse ones and they're constant. You get used to it, but I found it annoying.

>phone captcha only has 4 characters
>>41144128
Yeah a lot, and a random main street was covered in prostitutes at about 6:30pm on a Saturday. Also a bunch of Palestinians showed up at the parade i came for and chimped out which was amusing

>>41144160
>phoneposting at a party
Lmao

>>41144124
>I might be a little defensive over this fic. I swear that's not because I think my opinion is the only correct one, but I really, really loved it and have to do something. It is, admittedly, very much "my" kind of fic.
No problem. I still liked it, and I do think my tone was a bit overcritical.
>AJ is not the fic's highlight, but she's not bad. In a lesser fic, her story would be something to point out as good. She's just suffering from how great the rest is.
I honestly don't see it. Maybe I'm too harsh because Twilight and Rarity's entrances were miles better, but I find her bland at best and annoying at worst (I'm with >>41144120 on the accent). I pointed out the poison joke details because I believe a good 'joke' here could have elevated her chapter, and it really needed something.
>Oh come on, Sky Ranger Rainbow Dash was a super cool idea.
Maybe the whole "I knew but I couldn't tell you before you told me, even if you told me before" tinted the whole thing for me, but no, the story didn't do enough to make me believe in the idea of this secret group or to find the idea cool.
>Genuinely what the hell, this is the perfect Pinkie
I found that the cake part was going a bit too long, same for the "secret defense" part. You can 100% blame this on me being a no-fun faggot. Like I said, I did like the more direct and light jokes like the "letters" one.
>Aside from LUS, I think it ranges from fine to good, tending towards the latter in the second half.
>Aside from LUS
I can't put the LUS aside because it's really, really that bad in the fic. I can find it charming in early fics when it's used awkwardly at times, but here it's just too much.
It's also not helped by the fact the same LUS will be repeated heavily in the same chapter or even in the next paragraphs. I have Butter yellow pegasus and Ice blue pegasus in mind for that.
And the narration is very, very bland. That's why I believe I'm that harsh with the fic. Because you have soulful ideas and dialogues, but it's tainted by soulless narration.
I opened a chapter at random and took a random paragraph.
>Dash let out a grunt of surprise as she collided with Applejack, who was suddenly standing in her way with her green eyes flaring. The blonde earth pony puffed out her chest and hiked her tail as she faced down the angry patrol pegasus.
The LUS isn't helping. But the whole fic is like that.

>>41144221
Also the LUS gets downright wrong at times. Soarin' is not sky blue.

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>>41144221
>I believe a good 'joke' here could have elevated her chapter, and it really needed something.
Out of all the chapters, this was probably the one that could've used something more. As for me, this fic's worldbuilding helped shore up the weaker parts because I really liked how it was done here. AJ gets the weakest chapter, true, but there's still enough there about her family (both stated and implied) and how they changed in this world to be interesting, even if AJ herself is less than impressive. And yes, the accent was a bit much even after the "fix".
>I can't put the LUS aside because it's really, really that bad in the fic.
That's also completely understandable. The amount of LUS here (both big LUSes and minor LUSettes) is frankly absurd. Looking at the author's bio, I think it's a choice, but certainly not a recommendable one. Personally, I could get over it after rolling my eyes a few times in chapter one, but I wouldn't blame anyone for not liking the fic too much because of this. Even early DB was nowhere near this bad about LUS, and that was my previous pick for an example of why it's bad to do this.
>Because you have soulful ideas and dialogues, but it's tainted by soulless narration.
Sure, but the ideas and (most of the) dialogues are really good! But yeah. It's not very fair of me, to be sure, and I would obviously prefer it if it had better writing, but one thing that I've noticed about my reading habits is that if the story manages to sell itself to me, I'm subconsciously willing to overlook a lot more than I normally would. Case in point, this fic's writing or the extreme non-ponyness of that tragedy fic that was in the other club last week.

Need any and all fics where Big Macintosh is illiterate.

I like this clopfic, even though it suffers from LUS.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/551948/wet-dream

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>>41144056
What color is Twilight, again? I forgot.

I have had a pretty good time reading this fic, although I didn't have time to finish it. I'm just about through the M6 introductions where Zecora arrives. As such, all of my thoughts on the fic revolve around that first half and change of the fic.

Like you, I really want to compare it to TWOLOT, but I don't find this story such a comprehensive winner over that fic, and I was trying to figure out why. More specifically, The White Mare doesn't have the same sort of excitement and anticipation of seeing how the AU is different from canon for me. The M6 are significantly different, and the differences they have are interesting. It was really funny to read AJ in a northern accent instead of a southern one. At first, I wanted to say that it was the pacing: the story has a rush in which they all come to Fluttershy, which only left me to dread when Pinkie was going to interrupt a perfectly good scene. However, we just read Moon and Stars, and that fic absolutely captured the fascination over how the AU was different that this fic didn't for me, and it breezed through the M6 introductions as well.

So, in the end, I think that what TWOLOT has on this fic is higher highs and lower lows, because in that fic there is a lot of buildup for each introduction and most importantly we get to see each of the M6 in their element as they're being introduced. Because, in fact, this fic did have the anticipation I wanted of meeting AU butterpegasus, just not the others.

Anyway, I'm looking forward to finishing it soon.

>>41144056
I've read a bit more. I think what's rubbing me wrong is how this fic handles emotions. It's really poor. Everything feels exaggerated without justification.

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>>41144124
>Oh come on, Sky Ranger Rainbow Dash was a super cool idea. It was done better than 90% of the "cool" AUs with some edgy Equestrian Secret Service. And the reveal with her badge and the spiel about Royal Guard keeping watch for a thousand years was top tier.
Yeah, this was good stuff.

>>41144221
>And the narration is very, very bland
It isn't. I spotted more than a few cheeky turns of phrase while I was reading, and I'll be on the lookout for more. The author was also clearly having a lot of fun with the ways the characters speak, even if that's dialogue and not narration. And I agree with Rariflag that LUS is inherently orthogonal to plain narration.

I thought that when I checked out a fic Reddit, I'd get all-time best fics lists. Instead, I get writing prompts.
https://old.reddit.com/r/HPfanfiction/top/?sort=top&t=all

>>41144307
>Harry Potter fics on reddit
In what way is this relevant?

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>>41144267
>The White Mare doesn't have the same sort of excitement and anticipation of seeing how the AU is different from canon for me.
I think part of this is that this fic is less AU'y than TWOLOT. It's still a different world, but it's built according to the same rules, so to speak, whereas TWOLOT is mostly completely its own Victorian/steampunk AU setting. I guess the difference is that I actually like this approach better, and not just because it let the author keep the actual characters in and not replace them with OCs when convenient.
And I think you're right in comparing this to Moon and Stars. The structure of the story and the core "M6 in an AU" idea made me think of TWOLOT, but the kind of worldbuilding is more like Moon and Stars. It's often also better, imo, and it cannot be stressed enough that writing a full cast of very different AU M6 while ensuring that none of them are OOC is a pretty huge achievement.
>it breezed through the M6 introductions as well.
That's a bit like comparing apples to oranges, though. Moon and Stars wasn't about M6; they're basically background actors in the Luna+Twilight story, and that gets away with skipping past it by leaving them in their show personalities. It'd be better to compare how this fic handles M6 to M&S's Twilight and Luna, and they both get a bunch of words dedicated to them.

>>41144281
The emotions (particularly in arguments) being exaggerated is a fair criticism, and one of the non-LUS problems with the writing. Most of the time you can blame it on the slightly-more schizo Twi, but not always.

>>41144318
>>41144307
I do think it's kinda funny we're the only fanfiction thread in 4chan. Even /vp/'s writefag thread isn't as constant.

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Fics for pic related?

>>41144883
We're more of a square.

>>41144851
Source or GTFO Jenny

>>41144571
>Ra
https://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/05/story-stargate-equestria.html

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>book club+10 hours
>pnly 3 participants, barely any discussion
Book club DED, /fimfic/ as a whole next?!

>>41145136
>pnly 3 participants
5 actually, please read more carefully. Example posts:
>>41144056 - Raraflag
>>41144078 - new flagless anon
>>41144099 - Twiflag
>>41144160 - a different anon, possibly bon bon
>>41144267 - tuna
There wasn't too much discussion mainly because two of the more active regulars were forced to phonepost and couldn't stay for long.

>>41145136
There wasn't a lot of disagreement this week. So, in the interest of sparking discussion, I present my review:

I gotta say, some of you guys are being way too harsh on that fic.
I know we've got a reputation for being critical, but I think this one deserves some credit.
The author really took the time to develop the mane six's personalities beyond their usual tropes. Like, Pinkie Pie has some legit depth for once instead of just being "lol so random" all the time. And Twilight's struggles with self-doubt feel really believable.
Plus, the plot itself has some real adventure to it! Actual stakes, some tense action scenes... it's not just silly slice-of-life stuff or shipping like so many fics. The quest structure gives it a sense of forward momentum.
Are there some cheesy or cringey parts? Sure, a couple. But every fic has those. On the whole this is some of the most engaging MLP writing I've seen from the fandom in a long time. It really captures the spirit of the show.
So maybe lay off the hate-train for once and give credit where it's due. This fic deserves better than the dumping you guys are giving it. Just my two bits.

>>41145202
Wow, you really drank the Kool-Aid, huh? This fic is garbage and you know it. You're just trying to defend it because you're a fanboy/girl of the author or something.
The mane six's personalities are not developed, they're butchered. Pinkie Pie is depressed, not deep, and Twilight is whiny, not self-doubting. The rest are just cardboard cutouts of their canon selves.
The plot is a mess. There's no logic or consistency to anything that happens. The stakes are nonexistent because nothing matters in this fic. The quest is just an excuse to drag the characters from one contrived situation to another. The action scenes are boring and repetitive, and the romance is cringey and unrealistic. Silly slice-of-life or shipping would be better than this garbage.
The writing is atrocious. Awful grammar and spelling, stilted and unnatural dialog, and descriptions that are somehow bland and purple at the same time.
This fic does not capture the spirit of the show at all. It's a mockery of everything that makes MLP great and an insult to the fandom and the creators. Get off your high horse and admit that this fic sucks. It deserves nothing but the hate it gets.

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>>41145136
>best book club book ever
>2 people in the last 'discussion'
Sometimes it be like that

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>>41144339
Oh yeah, I forgot to note in my first post that it's funny how much more focused on honor and truthfulness Applejack is in this fic than the show. Also, having finished the fic, I'm struggling to figure out what it is that she actually did. So yeah, it's an achievement that the fic managed to give them all histories that are strongly distinguished from canon, along with the accompanying mannerisms, while maintaining their recognizable characterization.

I will say that it's not better worldbuilding, though. There's really almost no worldbuilding besides "it's season 4 of the show, but without Canterlot, and no, you can't see" S1-Lunaflag was all fired up about Moon and Stars because Equestria was no different with Luna in charge than Celestia; here we got a supposedly transformed Equestria, but there was only FS's cottage and the Castle of the Two Sisters. In the other fic, Hollow Shades and the siren were worldbuilt, along with the night guard chapter, and we got to see so much of Canterlot and got up close and personal with all the myriad quirks of Luna's ruling style. The White Mare has a pair of companies alluded to and an alternate Wonderbolts by comparison. Some of that is a limitation of word count, but for an AU, this fic is weaker than other club AUs on the worldbuilding score.

>>41144099
>any mare gets slightly excited
>pop! up goes her tail
It is a funny effect of just copying the emotes from the show directly without consideration.

>binge Frieren anime in three days
>now have to wait two years for them to announce another season
I need mage training fics to inject directly into my veins.

>>41145460
You could always read the manga.
Or post in the right threads.

>>41145483
If we restricted ourselves from posting in the wrong threads, /fimfic/ would vanish overnight.

>>41145694
>If we don't post off-topic content, the threads will not survive
Tell me about how we must embrace multi-fandom fanfiction next, you gryphon.

>>41145460
Read the manga, dummy.
Manga > Anime
Subs > Dubs

>>41144056
Finally finished the fic. It was okay. The LUS was really bad and I don't understand why the author was so obsessed with putting everypony in clothes. The slapfight between the sisters was rather meh, but I do like the Elements purifying them both. Plenty of small mistakes hinting at a lack of proofreading. Rarity doesn't really get to show off her Element at all. Some good stuff in there though, enough to not make me hate the whole thing.

>>41146041
>and I don't understand why the author was so obsessed with putting everypony in clothes
weird criticism and I completely agree AJ's attire seemed weird and then like the entire epilogue had a bunch of clothing descriptions. And I think I recall something weird about specifically twilight's clothes at some point also

Good RariJack fic?

>>41146873
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/552552/what-we-dont-talk-about
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/446937/train-ride

>>41146873
I remember liking these:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/97835/authored-for-adoration
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/1724/diamond-in-the-rough
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/41666/regrets

>>41146882
>>41146891
Thanks.

Today I learned that I can't think about hydras without my mind going to the ___ scene.

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>>41147272
> ?

>>41147272
>without my mind going to the gay scene.
I had it with this fucking thread, I swear

>>41142936
(You)

>>41147641
This, but unironically

>>41145136
I am new here but I want to join the next book club :)

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>>41147857
Yes please do. It's fun! Even when the story sucks! Or maybe especially when the story sucks.

>>41147857
What'll be your flag and gimmick?

>>41148165
I don't know what that means!

>>41148169
You already fit in.

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https://www.fimfiction.net/group/216361/a-thousand-words/thread/540659/a-thousand-words-contest-iii-2024-jun-09-jul-14
Brewing up anything for this year's 1k contest?

>>41148274
I'd rather finish some of my other writing projects, but I'll try squeezing something in.

>>41148274
I have other things to write, but it's only 1k and the deadline is a month away, so I'll probably try to submit something.

Next week will be the upload of the final chapter for my story. It's been a long time coming.

>>41149023
Congrats, Anon.
I hope you get comments and upvotes.

>>41149023
Boo, be a miserable failure to launch like me.

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ventfics: what's the consensus?

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>>41149023
*blocks your path* I'm actually happy for you, anon.

I didn't want to cockblock this poor Anon, but I said I would shill my story once again when completed, and that day is today.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/549501/by-the-will-of-the-council is now finished, and can be read in full. If that one(?) anon who wanted to read it, but fears of being burned by [Incomplete] stories, can happily advance now.
With that said, I guess this is also my only chance to shamelessly step forward, and nominate this shebang for a book club reading. I don't expect anything, but I don't think I lie if I say every author would like the amount of eyeballs that meet his story to be maximized. And since I didn't exactly get a massive amount of feedback on this during its puplish period, I'd be delighted if I got some this way.
Cheers, and thanks again for helping this become a reality, even if you weren't exactly aware of it.

>>41149224
Seconding the nomination.
For the lulz.

>>41149221
I prefer nonconsensual ventfics.

>>41149023
>>41149224
Congrats to both of you. It's always great to see new, complete fics in 2k12+11.
I was going to suggest rigging it for both of your fics to get into the bookclub, but it's looking like that won't even be necessary.

>>41149320
>2k12+11
anon...

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>>41149325
It's hard; the years have started to go by too quickly lately.

>>41149303
>For the lulz.
Don't paint the devil on the wall, anon

>>41149412
The devil has been with us all along, Anon.

>>41148274
Well I knew from the start that my latest idea would wear out its welcome pretty quickly if it were very long, so maybe I will shave it down to 1000 words. Why not.

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You know how at the bottom of each page, Fimfic reports the number of users online? For the past two weeks or so, I've been recording that number every five minutes. (Minus some times where things went wrong and I have missing data.) This is one of the results. The horizontal axis is the date and time (all times are UTC). The vertical axis measures users. The blue curve is the actual number of users online, while the red curve is the result of applying to the blue curve a low-pass filter with a time constant of ten minutes.

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>>41150492
Here is what you get when you combine all the daily information. Each blue dot is a measurement. The horizontal axis is the time after midnight UTC of the measurement, and the vertical axis is the number of users online. The red curve is a smoothed estimate. I used a circular Nadaraya–Watson estimator. (The Nadaraya–Watson estimator is like a kernel density estimate, if you know what that is, but for a regression problem instead of a density estimation problem. What makes it circular is that the kernel wrapped around when it crossed midnight.) The kernel was a von Mises distribution with precision equal to the inverse square of a half hour.

>>41150492
There doesn't seem to be any noticeable change during the weekends.

>>41150492
All me

>>41149221
They're shit. Fixfic-tier but possibly worse since it's usually relating to IRL bullshit.

>>41150492
>tfw it's now virtually impossible to get a 1k upvote fic

>>41150661
>Fixfic-tier
What sort of things do they "correct" in a fixfic? Any particularly egregious examples I should point and laugh at?

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>>41150661
>tfw it's now virtually impossible to get a 1k upvote fic
It's so over, lads

>>41150661
>>41150898
It literally doesn't matter. I'd say that comparing updoot counts was never very productive, but if you absolutely have to, you should compare to the 2024 counts. Those are the fics you are "competing" with, not 5k+ upvote 2013 stories.

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Fug, I haven't touched mlp in 10+ years and recently my heart has been re-ignited by fucking Tamers12345's latest episodes of all things. I originally tapped out at the end of season 3 thinking it was the show's grand finale while also dodging that Equestria Girls shit (I'm racist).

Only the other day I've found out that there were fucking 6 more seasons which I had no clue existed not to mention the movies or even G5 — Have I just been under a rock? Has Hasbro fumbled that hard with their promotions? Or has mlp stuff been quarantined that badly from the internet?

I only wanted a comfy Twilestia shipfic but now I probably have to watch all this crap to understand anything.

Anyway, have a souvenir pic from 2012, and keep on writing you weirdo autists — I'm just a random anon who's appreciated your work way back then and hopefully now and in the future.

Composure CHAPTER 8 STILL ISN'T OUT FUCK

>>41151101
Nice blogpost, I'm giving it an upvote

>>41151117
How's the exquisite corpse going?

>>41151130
Waiting on the Raraflaggot to bring forth his chapter.

>>41150661
>1k upvote
You don't have the same users all day long because people go offline when they sleep. So even though the number of online users rarely surpasses 1,000, there are several times that many users per day. You can see proof of this in the sinbox: A story that's been up for less than a day can have over 1,000 views.

But in order to get that many upvotes, you need almost everyone who reads your fic to upvote it. Which means it needs to be AiE porn.

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>>41151101
>tapped out at the end of season 3 thinking it was the show's grand finale
You were almost right about that since it was originally written as the show's finale. In some alternative timeline, maybe it was. But FiM was so successful that Hasbro kept it running for much longer. Later seasons are generally not liked as much (the last two being especially trash) and G5 is supposedly so forgettable that all but the most brand-devoted fags stayed on the G4 ship. Years have passed since the show ended and we're still mostly a FiM fandom. I'm saying 'supposedly' because I only made it through the first movie of G5 before realizing that this is just not it for me.
>Or has mlp stuff been quarantined that badly from the internet?
A fuckton of people like (You) left the fandom after S3 and S4. At the same time, many based autists couldn't stomach some of the show's developments and left around that time, too, because back when the stupid "must keep up with the current thing" mentality was still very present.
I'd say that watching the show to the end would still be recommended, but quitting after season 7 and the movie is also fine if you don't like what comes next; the new cast of s8/s9 is seldom relevant to new fan creations.

>>41151178
There is no worthwhile pony fiction set after S2E24.

I remember once when I was desperately looking for any Black Clover fanfic I could find and found one with MLP where Sunset goes to that universe instead of the EQG
I stopped reading after five chapters or so when Sunset started explaining their own magic to the BC characters
Also it looked like it was doing some Ron the Death Eater, if you'll forgive the TvTropes term, with Celestia

>>41151181
>There is no worthwhile pony fiction
And yet we're here anyway.

>>41151178
>Later seasons are generally not liked as much
And yet S5 is the best one.

>>41151199
That one is notable for how consistently great it is, yeah.
I feel like I said it itt already, but while I wouldn't put it ahead of S1/S2 myself, it belongs in the same group as those two.

>>41151195
Truncation stopped being funny when your parents had you circumcized.

>>41151204
>it belongs in the same group as those two.
WRONG.
S5 is much worse than either of the based seasons

>years ago started on a big lotr crossover project
>would be primarily based around the silmarillion premised around Feanor and Morgoth having a psuedo rematch using Equestria and Griffons as pawns.
>had everything already planned out
>wrote about 40,000 words at various stages of the story, mostly the beginning but did write out how it ends
>developed a real life and lost interest in mlp as a whole at the same time
>never posted the story, had wanted to have it 100% complete

I've been reading through the story and I was wondering if it would be worth it to publish as is. There's no way I have the time to finish it, the whole story would easily breach 100k words and then some. Was considering maybe adding a little bit here and there to clean it up at most.

>>41151307
Go for it; what's the worst that could happen?

>>41151307
>posting a deadfic
If there's no chance you'll finish it, then I don't think you should post it.
But if you do, at least do your readers the courtesy of setting the status as cancelled to let them know what's going on.

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>>41151318
>the worst that could happen?
FiMfiction gets sued by the Tolkien estate like that guy who got his LotR fanfic nuked last year.

>>41151143
I'm sure he'll deliver.

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>>41151101
>Only the other day I've found out that there were fucking 6 more seasons which I had no clue existed
NO ANON DON'T DO IT, SAVE YOURSELF

what's the line between witty banter and two autists hurling verbal abuse at one another?

>>41151727
Whether you laugh with them or at them.

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Sweet.

>>41151950
Been a while since I seen anyone that's leet.

>>41151727
You see anon, it goes like this:
You write it: the cringiest, most autistic conversation that was ever penned for a story
I write it: Witty banter between two great characters, verified comedy gold

>>41151727
Any form of written communication on 4 channel is a phenomenon of two autists breaking out of their shell and connecting with one another. No exceptions.

>>41151474
>deliver
Storks and all?

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>forced myself to use oxford commas to make my ponyfic writing clearer
>started using them in my native language every single time
I am the reason for all my misfortune.

>>41152340
The Oxford comma is superior. Retards who do not employ it are annoying, dumb, and a third thing.

>>41152340
>>41152536
>the reddit coma

>>41150667
>do they "correct" in a fixfic?
Fixfics try to "fix" some perceived issue with a canon event. These were usually driven by waifu fags who were pissed their character got shafted in an episode. The "Wedding Accusation" genre is the golden example, where Twifags got pissed the rest of the M6 got mad with her, so hundreds of fixfics were written where she usually sat on a soapbox and whined at them for a few thousand words about how shit of friends they were. In edgier cases, it serves as Twilight's "start of darkness" because she's apparently so fragile, she can't handle getting yelled at without turning into a psychotic necromancer.

>Any particularly egregious examples
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/51867/faith-and-doubt
Twilight gets all edgy, runs away, and joins the author's self insert alicorn OC. I dropped it shortly thereafter but in the sequel the Elements of Harmony are actually evil and start a civil war between Twilight/the author and Celestia/M6.

>>41151143
No doubt he's trying to work in a pregnant mare getting stuck in a door frame somehow.

>>41151361
You mean the autist who tried to sue Tolkien's estate for 250 million dollars so he could have his fanfic professionally published and was then laughed out of court and had all the copies destroyed? Don't be an idiot and poke the bear and you won't get bit.

>>41152659
>there's sometimes whiplash
There wasn't. Originally, Fimfic had a unicorn Twilight tag and alicorn Twilight tag, so you'd pick which version was in the story. Knighty merged them about a year later since by then the fandom had grown accustom to the new status quo and he felt the separation wasn't needed anymore, thus birthing Tag Anon.

>where the terms are used synonymously
That doesn't happen. She's either a unicorn or an alicorn in fics and I've never seen an author mix them up. If a story has both in it, you're looking at an old "Twilight becomes an alicorn" fic.

>>41153008
>spelling error in a three word post
You're only proving >>41152536's point.

>>41153101
>can't tell illiteracy from irony
Who's the real retard here?

>be me
>enter the thread
>as usual do a quick search for all "Spike" mentions
>ZERO, again
>Check literally any other man 6 or Princesses (save nympho corn, a.k.a cadance for some reason)
Bruh, like... i get it, Spike is a more balanced character and usually the end butt of the joke but like, i dont know since when but since i joined the community like 3 years ago, i feel like the lil guy is either mostly hated (for reasons i cant comprehend) or just ignored.

Wich... yeah. Pretty sure accurate actually, he was for the most part ignored, pretty shitty situation.


I guess that is why i relate with the lil faggot. I mean he is genuinely nice and quirky yet, well he is like the kid who always get picked last. I would know, it happened to me in my childhood.

I have always thought that some bronies and pegasisters hate the guy because he is not hyper anything, like most characters in the show.

Its kinda like the thing with Shinji from evangelion, people hated on the guy because he was not a typical shonen protagonist and was actually pretty human accurate of what someone would do or feel like in his situation.

>>41152340
im esl, so excuse my retardation but what is oxford comma?

>>41153101
>a fixfic is when literal spergs sperg out about something handled and resolved competently in the show
Damn. That's even dumber than I thought.
Have there been any attempts to "fix" any actual problems? Like, Thorax dealing with the way his mother was lost in the wilderness, roped into an entrapment scheme, then turned to stone? Or the Apple family dealing with the way Granny Smith's policies are running Sweet Apple Acres into the ground?

>>41153152
Or you know the fact the whole Sparity thing got teased for all seven seasons to ONLY get that dragon dropped chapter and then let to die?

That shit was annoying. Either let it die or Live but dont do that shit.

>>41153146
Example from Wikipedia. No Oxford comma:
>To my parents, Ayn Rand and God.
Oxford comma:
>To my parents, Ayn Rand, and God.
The idea is that while both are correct, the latter resolves ambiguity of whether the speaker is talking about three separate things (their parents, Ayn Rand, God) or only two (Ayn Rand and God, who happen to be their parents) without needing to rephrase the sentence.
On the other hand it can also introduce ambiguity, consider:
>I went to a bar with Joe, the gardener and the cook
Vs.
>I went to a bar with Joe, the gardener, and the cook
In the latter case the Oxford comma makes it unclear whether Joe is the gardener or if that's a completely separate person.
So it's no silver bullet. I personally like it, but it's an entirely optional feature of the language.

>>41153161
damn, thank you for enlightening me. To be honest seems a lil complicated but also not really.

Though, it seems pretty useful but then again, it involves to put even more attention on how you write things.

I guess, we do learn something new everyday huh?

>>41153167
In fact it's even more ambiguous, because in the first "I went to a bar" example it might mean three people or only one, in case Joe himself is both a cook and a gardener. So yeah, in these instances it's best that one rephrases (unless you want to use a bunch of typography tricks, but I think that looks awful in prose).
>it involves to put even more attention on how you write things
Well isn't that an important part of good writing?

>>41153176
i mean yes, sure. Problem is... time. You either focus on quality, quantity OR a middle ground.

If you have no quality, its not as enjoyable
If you have no quantity, there is nothing to enjoy reading.

get my drift?

>>41153008
The Oxford typo

>>41153188
I don't know, Anon. This is a hobby, you're not rushed by anyone to deliver on time, so the 'choice' between quantity and quality is a self-imposed one. But, even if you truly don't have much free time, you can still write quality oneshots / shortfics.

>>41153198
well, i could really say. I dont have all that much time and when i do a fic, i usually my brain can only make "complex" stories that are long.

For example, currently as of now, im working on a fic wich at first i thought maybe i would do 100k words tops but how its going, its probably going to be at least 2 times that.

Also, i know im not "obliged to deliver" but i really try to , so the readers get some satisfaction, specially considering the character i focus on is in my opinion mostly ignored in the fandom.

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>>41153206
First thing, double-spacing your individual sentences here makes you look like the newest of newfags, which doesn't help your point. Taken to the degree of your last five posts, it's almost like namefagging, except worse since it shows astounding ignorance. Appropriate for a spikefag, I'd say. You even triple-spaced a sentence in >>41153132
Secondly, no, writing is not a race; it's an art. It's better to write one polished long story than five with plot holes and poor grammar. It's never better to pick quantity over quality. It's not like anyone's running out of stories, but good stories are -- and have always been -- a rarity. Writing self-described garbage doesn't help anyone.

>>41153323
>writing is not a race
Then why does it fill me with genocidal fury?

>>41153206
You sound like someone who writes Pokemon crossover and/or HiE fics

>>41153161
As an Oxford Commetarian, I would suggest if Joe is in fact the gardener, the line should read
>I went to a bar with Joe the gardener, and the cook.

>>41153161
>In the latter case the Oxford comma makes it unclear whether Joe is the gardener or if that's a completely separate person.
In the former case it makes it unclear if Joe is a gardener and a cook. So using it is still an improvement.

>>41153161
>Gardener Joe
There you go. Problem sidestepped.

>just reread one of the stories I wrote when I was 12 that somehow didn't get any hate or dislikes
>it's so fucking bad and bland

I'm going to kill myself

>>41153935
Have your stories improved at all?

>>41153943
I stopped writing anything not long after, just don't have the creative chops or the drive for creative pursuits. However I imagine I'd be able to write better stories, now having worked on my autistic deficiencies and fleshed out my theory of mind. Don't plan on writing anything any time soon, especially nothing pony related (I'm in my 20s ffs).

>>41153978
>I'm in my 20s ffs
And what does that have to do with anything? Not him, but I started writing ponyfics in my 20s.

>>41153979
I've just moved on from it all. I tried watching an episode the other night and couldn't stop cringing for more than a minute (in a guilty pleasure sort of way). It was embarrassing enough being an 11-14 year old brony who drew ponies in class and asked my family for MLP shit for birthdays.

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>>41153999
Oh no, the normie fake maturity disease took another one!
Endless crowds of people watch new Marvel movies and other, much sillier things, but you're having that reaction at ponies. That's entirely on (You).

>>41153935
>oh no, this story i wrote for fun as a literal child isn't actually a brilliant work of art???
>i literally want to le DIE
Who fucking cares dude

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>>41153999
You don't deserve those trips

>>41153323
>not quadruplespacing your posts
I seriously hope you guys do this

>>41154625
This is where 4chan steps in and decides that you've had enough nonsense.

>>41154631
censorship of the highest order

>>41154489
I hate most capeshit and think that the people who obsess over it are utter retards, but there's a difference between that and MLP. It's a me thing I guess, but idk I'm still struggling to get back into it even for a trip down memory lane.

>>41154538
:(

>>41154572
I do like ponies, or at least I used to. I'm just taking a stroll down memory lane. Maybe in a few days I'll gather the courage to watch the first season or two again. If there was a watch party for it I'd definitely rewatch it.

>>41153323
>seething because of spacing
>muh namefag
>muh newfag
Yeah ok, whatever you say.
>rarity image
>has always been a... rariry. Wink
>rarity lover
That is... ok?
>spikefag
Yes, i am. Suddenky liking a character is bad now? Altough you are a rarafag? Come on now.

The only thing i took seriously is your view on focusing on quality wich like i said is fair but i preffer a balance. This again is MY PREFERENCE and OPINION.

gosh.

Live it to some rarafags to hate on people for no reason.

>>41154878
>for no reason.
He explained his reasons, though.

>>41154878
>wich like i said is fair but i preffer
I weep for your readers.

>>41154882
I mean if by valid reasons you mean:
>liking a character who anon does not
>using spaces
>Have a personal view focused on balance
Then i dont know what to tell you.

There is a saying: dont follow perfection, you will never achieve it.

And i stand by it. Id rather do the best i can with the quality but never as much as it stops me from actually writting and/or stop my story flow.


THIS however is my preference and personal view.

Also keep in mind its not even my native language so of course is harder for me in that regard.

>>41154894
You know, at the end of the day. Somebody reads me and while its not a metric for validation i do have more positive feedback so regardless of how you feel.

It does not prove me right, but it does prove someone enjoys it. And that is reason enough for me to keep writting.

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Okay so the Spikefag is a faggot. Nothing new for us.

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>>41154918
Its honestly surprising how despite being cordial and having the best intentions shit always devolves to this.

*sigh*

Its all so tiresome.

>>41154878
>>has always been a... rariry. Wink
It was actually a coincidence that I didn't see until I hit submit. Also, for future reference she's called "Rarity".

>>41154896
Perhaps the first post was too difficult to read, so I'll rephrase it: by intentionally refusing to conform to the known standard, you're showing that you feel super special and want anons to notice you. Same as using a flag or a name (although those two have legitimate uses), only it's even worse when you're doing it via super unnecessary formatting.
>Also keep in mind its not even my native language
Not an excuse. Many of the writers itt are ESLs. Joseph Conrad was an ESL, too.
You just have to put in a bit of effort to learn the goddamn language that you're using. That, or start to read English books. The latter is super helpful, both with learning how to write good stories and how to use the language correctly. Which, being blunt, you could use some help with.

>>41154939
>being cordial
You're not. Deliberately ignoring conventions to stand out comes off as an extreme attentionwhore behavior, and saying "fuck quality, gotta put out more garbage" is not a very respectable opinion, either.

>>41154939
>pic
Fics for this?

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>>41154939
Your way of typing and general tone can be summed up with the following image.
You set people off. Be less faggy.

>>41154948
Ok here we go again.

>It was actually a coincidence that I didn't see until I hit submit. Also, for future reference she's called "Rarity".

So i did a typo, and of course you had to be petty about it, how new.

>Perhaps the first post was too difficult to read, so I'll rephrase it: by intentionally refusing to conform to the known standard, you're showing that you feel super special and want anons to notice you. Same as using a flag or a name (although those two have legitimate uses), only it's even worse when you're doing it via super unnecessary formatting.

I dont feel special, im simply not going to be hard on myself and stop myself from writing just because somebodies expectations are X.

>Not an excuse. Many of the writers itt are ESLs. Joseph Conrad was an ESL, too.
You just have to put in a bit of effort to learn the goddamn language that you're using. That, or start to read English books. The latter is super helpful, both with learning how to write good stories and how to use the language correctly. Which, being blunt, you could use some help with.

Yes, indeed i could use help mind you. Now, here is the thing, im not trying to "Make an excuse" im just pointing out the fact that at the end of the day there is more chance for flaws however minumum or not they may be just because of that fact alone.

>You're not. Deliberately ignoring conventions to stand out comes off as an extreme attentionwhore behavior, and saying "fuck quality, gotta put out more garbage" is not a very respectable opinion, either.

First of all i dont "ignore conventions" fyi i have become better with time, and i do usually read stories in english precisely for this. Do i am satisfied now with what i can do?, yes. Did i wish i did better stuff?, also yes.

I am not going to beat myself up about it and it definately is not going to stop me from writting, period.

also
>fuck quality, gotta put out more garbage"
you seem to lack reading skills because that is NOT what i implied or wrote.

I do believe the better the quality the better HOWEVER, quality needs TIME and i DO NOT have it. I do WHAT I CAN with WHAT I HAVE.

So, like i mentioned before, I BELIEVE that its better to do best you can with quality WHILE NOT letting it stop you from writting more, so you can actually do a story and not a bucking paragraph.

I don't see how is that so hard for you to grasp.

But you know what?, this is not going to end anywhere it seems to lets leave it as follows
i can and should do better, and i will try to as i always do.

>>41154949
Sorry bruh, dont know any fic with that specific premise.

>>41154963

>I will be going now, gotta go to work. Have a good one.

>>41154963
how about... be less judgmental?

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Don't let the haters get you down, Spikechad.

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>>41152659
>American hours start
>Janny immediately deletes effort post because of the slightest of anthro pictures
Kinda based, but then again Humanized and EqG is still allowed to walk this earth. Grim.

>>41151589 kek
>>41151178
>>41153101 re: whiplash
Thanks again for the explanations.

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>/fimfic/

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14k!
Hope you have a productive writing night, Anons.
Because you are going to write tonight...
Right?

>>41153999
>>41154798
I was actually where you are, just getting back into ponies from a hiatus of about 10 years.
Watching the first few episodes, I had to stop not even every 5 minutes and take a short break from cringing. I got over it pretty fast though, it's just a matter of rebuilding your cringe tolerance.
Not that I talk to anyone I know in real life about ponies, I'm not that far gone.

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>>41155318
Yeah, I'm gonna write your name down in that special journal that kills people.

>>41155411
>digits
Nice.
You better hurry, though!

>>41153152
>any attempts to "fix" any actual problems
I'm sure there are, but those are likely just normal stories. The key part of a fix fic is the author shoving their hand up the characters' asses so they can be turned into mouthpieces for the author's preferred solution. A lot of the "anti-Twilicorn" fics can also be called fix fics for this reason. Rather than the story being there because the plot's interesting and develops due to a natural course of events, it's there because the author wants to vent.

As an aside, recursive fixfics--where an author writes a fixfic for another fanfic--are probably the best, since they're both incredibly petty and will have a ton of drama in the comments, like https://www.fimfiction.net/story/437152/a-foreign-education-another-road

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>>41155318
Tonight's the night.
And it's gonna happen again and again.

>>41155318
Written about 1000 words so far

>>41155318
How fucking long is that gonna be?

>>41155401
Same, I'm never mentioning this to anyone irl again.

>>41155318
I'm totally writing, ha ha...
Hopefully soon.

>>41155580
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/437152/a-foreign-education-another-road
>Sixteen years ago, Princess Cadance was forced to adopt a changeling grub as her daughter and Flurry Heart's younger sister. Her name is Cheval, and she was always intended to be a living weapon to be used against Cadance and her family.
>In one story, that's exactly what she became, despite all her efforts to be otherwise.
It doesn't surprise me in the slightest that the original that this "fixes" was written by the author of 81 Days.

>>41155318
I haven't written anything properly in months.
I am sad about it. I hit the wall and burned out and need to get back into the swing of things.

>>41156018
Hit the wall of writing block, not the wall of looks. I already hit that wall a decade ago.

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>>41153152
>anything to do with ACW
>something handled and resolved competently
Anon...

>>41156001
The fixfic's author had an interesting critique of the original and its author. I think it explains what went wrong with 81 Days quite well: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/437152/a-foreign-education-another-road#comment/9871030

>>41156001
holy shit the slapfight involves both authors too

>>41156227
It's several degrees more petty than what I'd ever consider writing on the site, but I largely agree with what he's saying there, yeah. 81 Days was 100% a Message fic through and through. The fact that he took the fairy tale land of Equestria and presented it as naive scapegoat for the Message was enough to take me out of that story.

>>41153101
>These were usually driven by waifu fags who were pissed their character got shafted in an episode.
>>41153152
>Have there been any attempts to "fix" any actual problems? Like, Thorax dealing with the way his mother was lost in the wilderness, roped into an entrapment scheme, then turned to stone?
kek, pottery

Tell us about what you're currently writing/reading.

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>>41156426
The club fic has been a page turner, I started on it last night.

>>41156426
Well, I'm struggling with it, but I'm working on the last story in the little series I've been doing. It's definitely going to be the largest of the three, since the previous two were more set up and I have a rather sizeable cast of characters to contend with though I was thinking of just focusing primarily on Celestia and Luna and letting the others have the spotlight in occasional interlude chapters.

>>41156426
I am attempting to get back into writing by doing some comfy sci-fi/fantasy 'shadowrun' style stuff.

>>41156442
I hope you have an easier time with it, Anon.

My relatives had surgery but none of them died. When will I ever find time for fics?

>>41156597
Kill one of 'em. You can write in prison.

>>41156426
I'm in the middle of being swamped by a ton of irl stuff, so I scarcely had the time to read or write anything. I hope I can at least read the book club fics on time.

>>41156628
Life Hack

>>41156438
Which fic is for the club? Where is the club fic usually posted?
Maybe I'm retarded and missed in in the thread.

>>41156718
It's always all in the thread. See the end of >>41144060 for the "main" bookclub,
or >>41141878 if the schizo club is more to your liking.

>>41156718
Here: >>41144060
Next week we're reading the first half of:
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/25694/changeling-heart-and-the-new-moon
Chapters 1-16 this week and 17-30 the week after.
And the one for the secreter club is here: >>41141878
Next week we're reading:
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/99236/lets-be-evil

>>41156818
Kassaz is past due. But it'd been progressing until then.

>>41156821
Some ideas take time to gestate.

>>41156722
>>41156723
thank you <3

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>>41156833
Nice one, kek Your dubs are nice, too

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What sort of writing rituals do you have? Every time before I sit down to write I have to listen to Fortunate Son while watching footage of the Vietnam War to get in the zone. I don't remember how or why I started doing this but it's so ingrained now if I don't do it I'll get writer's block.

>>41157225
I put on atmospheric music and close as many open tabs as I have.

I love —

>>41157242
You love? Still? Have we not blackened your heart? Have we not shown you the doomed world you walk? Don't you see that love will never find you?

>>41157242
Normal hyphen chads rise up!
The day of the long hyphen will soon be over!

>>41156426
>writing
The archmage fic, now and forever. The denouement's starting to worry me now that's it's ticked above 11k. Also just started back up on the clopfic sequel, now that it's getting hot and arousal's at a premium. Writing up a "permanency" angle for one of the character's that only happens to her because of her pride. Dash's ticket's already been punched.

>reading
Patriot Games is worse than Red October so far. Clancy needs to pick up the fucking pace and get on with the Irish terrorism. It's insane how long the hospital scene goes on for and nothing of importance happens.

Fanfic-wise, I need to dawn the miner hat and enter the mines, trying to dig up a mage training fic gem in what will no doubt be a pile of crap that needs to be sifted through. Then, I won't find anything and the idea will stew within me like the serial killer investigation fic has.

>>41157225
I have 41 playlists of fandom music I've assembled that I pick from.

>>41157242
I'm more a fan of − myself.

>>41157614
>a mage training fic gem in what will no doubt be a pile of crap that needs to be sifted through
We tried that, but nobody read Scion of Chaos that week.

While hyphen cucks limp around with their pathetic—SAD!—little lines, em dash chads penetrate sentences and impregnate paragraphs with raw punctuating power.

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>>41156628
>>41156687
Solitary confinement does sound extremely peaceful; there's no downsides.

>>41157225
For writer's block you can always instead write a multi-page musical filler in phonetics and never be out of character.

>>41157242
>>41157679 I kneel
Remember anons, the ALT code is 0151 — you DO have a numpad and not a stupid overpriced tenkeyless keyboard, right?

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>>41158013
>is 0151 — you DO
>spaced em-dash
I prefer spaced en-dashes – although non-spaced em-dashes are also cool – but that's far too much for me.
>tenkeyless keyboard
Numpad is also super nice for, you know, writing down numbers. It's so fast and convenient.

>>41158069
>--
Lazy and ugly.
>-
Definitely not an en-dash.
These punctuation marks predate unicode by hundreds of years, and it'd be unfortunate if they got killed by people's laziness (semicolon has only been saved by its programming use). Moreover, while the choice of en/em-dash comes down to preference, en-dash has some actual uses, such as writing down ranges of things. I rarely bother tbdesu, but "2012-2024" is just incorrect without the chad en-dash.

Em,dashes, colons, semicolons, I exclusively use commas, even where lesser writers would use other punctuation,

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>>41158170

>>41158164
>I rarely bother tbdesu, but "2012-2024" is just incorrect without the chad en-dash.
Seriously, who the fuck cares? I never used any of the autism dashes, and no one ever called me out for it. The hyphen is well enough for anything, why bother with that unicode shit
Actually, this is the only place that seems obsessed with them. Not even /lit/ bothers

>>41158217
Mainly, it improves the clarity and makes the text look cleaner. I do think it's a topic that comes up more often than it should here (which is why I didn't say anything in this discussion until the post you responded to), but you could make the same case for not using other punctuation marks or any punctuation at all. Punctuation is there for you to control the flow and tempo of the sentence. In the case of hyphens specifically, their long break reads much differently than a short hyphen; it gives a different cadence to the sentence.
But I will say that while dashes are just strictly better, putting a double hyphen "--" does the job just fine, too, without needing to bother with anything extra. Although, your word processor likely has the option to format double hyphens into dashes, costing you no effort.

As for why it comes up so often in /fimfic/, I think it's generally true that we have several posters wanting to improve, and fixing minor details like this is both simple and easily quantifiable. It gives the writer the feeling of improvement without needing to spend more time actually learning how2rite. I'm not saying it's wrong, of course, only that learning punctuation should not come at the cost of writing.

>>41158013
Linux. Press Shift then AltGr then press --. in sequence. –

My word processor automatically turns -- into —.
Thanks, word processor. Now I can devote my thoughts to the story itself.

>>41158436
Holding down ctrl+shift and typing the unicode (u2014 for the em-dash, and u2013 for the en-dash) also does it, which is useful for keyboards with a second alt instead of AltGr. But what the next anon said, too: word processors just do it on their own these days.

Mac users can press Option+- for an en dash and Option+Shift+- for an em dash.
>>41158217
>who the fuck cares
Me. I distinguish the different kinds of dashes at sight, and seeing the wrong one grates on my nerves. It looks wrong; it stands out in a bad way. I first learned about the different kinds of dashes about 25 years ago, and it's been a curse tb desu.
>>41158436
I had to reconfigure my work computer before it would do this. Maybe it's something our sysadmins did, but the compose key wasn't activated by default. Also, same thing but --- instead of --. produces an em dash —.

Unicode filtering is based and redpilled because it keeps the drooling retards away from our elite em dash club.

That just gets me an underlined u that disappears.

>>41158571
That "u" should mean that you're in unicode typing mode. Just enter the relevant code (it'll also be underlined as you type) and it will turn into the dash when you let go of the key/keys.

>>41158520
Yet you didn't ever write a single word of fiction that would utilize it

>>41158476
>>41158571
>>41158578
You need to let go of ctrl+shift after pressing u. When you have typed 2014, press enter.
—

>>41158775
Neat, I didn't know that, but both ways work for me. Holding (you only need to hold ctrl or shift, not both) means you don't need that final enter.

I keep Alt+151 and Alt+153 committed to memory.
Alt+153 because I SOON™post a lot.

>>41158825
But it creates mustard gas in my System32 folder when I do that. :c

>>41158831
>still has System32
ngmi

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Coincidentally, I started watching Trigun recently.
>/FSSBC/
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/99236/lets-be-evil
This was definitely a [Comedy] [Random] fic, I'll say that. It didn't particularly resonate with me, but at the same time I can't find too much to be objectively mad about in it. I guess with how it's set up it may make more sense to tackle each individual chapter as its own thing, since it's almost like an anthology of sorts in that regard. There's not much to say about the setup chapter, it's just there to kick things into motion I guess. Though it does establish the running gag of no one listening to Fluttershy, which I guess is very early seasons. The AJ chapter doesn't really work for me, and having her plan be what it is is certainly a choice. It is a little odd that the story just skips over the fight scene, but I guess that's not the point of the fic. Though AJ in general feels a bit ignored in this fic, as we'll see.
I liked the Rarity chapter, mostly because evil Rarity is neat and because at least it presents an interesting concept. I guess Pinkie startling Sweetie out of her trance was funny, too. The Rainbow Dash chapter is just sort of there, as far as I remember, and I don't know if Moth ever got around to doing anything with the monster presented there before his passing. Then we get to the Pinkie chapter, which ends up being the core of the story for whatever reason. It is neat in a nostalgic sort of way to see an old interpretation of the Pia family, with old Pacman fandom names and all. The bits of lore about the rock farm are nice, actually, and Celestia playing along is at least a little amusing. Then there's the CMC interlude. It doesn't really do much for me, and in general I feel like most chapters are too short to leave an impact, but at least some of the Poison Joke effects here are funny, Cheerilee in particular.
The second Pinkie chapter, despite being the longest in the whole fic, isn't really all that great in my opinion. It's mostly just references stacked over each other, and while the various mini arcs it goes on do have some nice bits in them it's overall kind of just mediocre in my opinion. Doesn't help that it also skips over the action at points, and that it straight up forgets about AJ, possibly on purpose. KISS rant aside though, I guess the scene of them figuring out where to go is neat. The Fluttershy chapter is a neat payoff to how she's been treated, but a little repetitive beyond that. The Twilight chapter is actually pretty neat, I would say the dance-off at the end with the song is actually a pretty great climax to the story and maybe my favourite moment. And then the epilogue is decent enough. All around just an okay fic for me, but I didn't hate it or anything.
Next week we're reading the first half of:
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/337495/the-fishbowl
Up to and including chapter 14, "14. A Door Full of Sky".
You should decide what we'll read after, too:
>https://ponepaste.org/8813

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>>41158842
Putting the shit in shipost, truly.
I almost dropped this fic two chapters in, when it was apparent that this is a fic with not much substance and that MythrilMoth's peculiar reputation has not been unearned (I have never read any of his fics myself). It's also not entirely the fic's fault, because I've been insanely busy this week. But I kept on reading, and I'm glad that I did, because there's a nugget of gold buried in—you know what? I'm not making any references to feces in this post. I apologize for being too weak, MythrilMoth.

It's the dreaded [Comedy]+[Random] again, but it's not too awful, actually. Keep in mind that I might be a little enamored by the early fandom nature of this fic; the sillyness of its premise and lack of late-season elements are one thing, but Daring Do not existing also reminds me of better times. But that's on me. After all, I think it's fairly likely that, by the end of the year, I'll still be the only one to write a story involving Inkie Pie in 2024. The point of this tangent is that the fic earned some bonus points without even trying, and I won't pretend otherwise. Sue me.
Regardless, while this thing is not serious at all, the Pinkie Pie chapters made for a pretty neat little adventure montage. It's references all the way down, but some were okay on their own. And I'm surprised that I actually liked quite a few of the jokes in the fic, too. Moreover, the author was definitely, 100%, a weeb, what with evil-Rarity doing the certified anime rich girl's "Oh ho ho ho" laugh. I'll concede that it suits her there, but the author's not fooling anyone. Bias and all that, but I liked her here.

Even the writing is surprisingly decent for a 2013 fic. Maybe not especially good, but I expected worse. While I'm not a fan of comparing bookclub fics, this one's mostly just a much better Comedy+Random than the thing we read last week. It *does* have one thing about it that stinks, but everyone knows what it will be as soon as they see who wrote this. Characters are pretty OOC at times, but that seems to be a staple of the "genre", and imo it's not as bad in this regard as most of the similar fics either bookclub has read. Celestia's few scenes were the highlight of the fic, not that it's reaching too high. The humanized nightmare was a true nightmare, but it was both not real and super short, so I won't be too harsh and lower my grade because of it.

At this point, I think I've spent way too many words talking about this pretty silly fic. I came in expecting to downvote this fic, and I ended up liking it okay. It's a solid 5.5/10, dead average. Which is actually not bad for this kind of a story. Maybe you could rate it higher you're a Random+Comedy enjoyer.

>>41158842
Now this is what I call an alright fic. In the best of way, I feel. You're not going to hear me sing praises to it, but it was engaging enough in its silliness for me to enjoy it as I would a low budget direct-to-video horror movie from the 80s. The premise is a tad contrived, the setting's wonky, the characterisations are bent enough for everything to flow, and for fun to be had.
I don't see how you'd make this story work as a serious fic--or even one with a different kind of comedy--without fundamentally changing everything about it.
Dumb, but earnest, and definitely enjoyable.
As for the evil plans... I'd rank them Twi>Pinkie>CMC>AJ>Rares>Shy>Dash as far as actual evil. Execution is a different matter. A shame Zecora didn't get a turn.
I don't have much else to say that wouldn't devolve into criticising style and narration. I like the core of the story, and I feel everything else was just good enough.
I look forward to reading it again in 2034.
>I liked the Rarity chapter, mostly because evil Rarity is neat and because at least it presents an interesting concept.
Should I be concerned that you liked the foal abuse one? Nor surprised, y'know, just concerned.

>>41158842
>pic
Rarity wears it best, but RD is not too bad either, in an over-the-top way.
>having her plan be what it is is certainly a choice
I mean, yeah, but we knew what we were getting into; he was known precisely for one thing.
>I guess Pinkie startling Sweetie out of her trance was funny, too.
The fic wasn't super funny as a whole -- couldn't be, bearing the curse [Comedy] tag -- but a couple of jokes were pretty decent. Whether it's throwing shade on Mayor Mare ("Let's ask Twilight instead! We'll get help faster!"), or doing anything involving the Sun Horse, or all of the Seapony jokes ("You can always call upon..."). There's at least some effort here and their execution is generally fine.
>in general I feel like most chapters are too short to leave an impact
Maybe, but they could've easily overstayed their welcome if they were longer, too. With them being so short, it's hard to be too annoyed at them.
>The Twilight chapter is actually pretty neat
I didn't really love the huge song dance-off, but the setup of that chapter was nice. Again, this is pretty decent for a total shitpost. I liked reading it, I think.

>>41158919
>I don't see how you'd make this story work as a serious fic
>enjoy it as I would a low budget direct-to-video horror movie from the 80s.
Yeah, kinda like that. The author wasn't trying too hard while writing, and it can be pretty alright if you read it with that mindset. It's a dumb fic with some decent moments and a couple good jokes.
>Shy so low
You're clearly underestimating how evil keeping Pinkie off of her sugar was.

If rariflag doesn't deliver soon, I'll write a comfy SoL oneshot where ponies reproduce through osmosis.

>>41159017
>You're clearly underestimating how evil keeping Pinkie off of her sugar was.
Yeah, but only towards Shy. It's a smaller sacrifice to make in the grand scheme of things.
Also, looking back on it, I'd call the prose of the fic efficient. Just like a Roger Corman movie. Most sentences are there to give you just enough information to keep the scenes going and moving on to the next part. If anything, it's an interesting view on what you can accomplish with very little.
So, yeah. bad (good) 80s flick.

>>41156311
what else did you find?

>>41158919
>>41159017
>I don't see how you'd make this story work as a serious fic
Maybe like that Justice League movie where Batman has a plan to deal with each JL member.
SMILE, or whoever has plans in place in case the M6 turn evil and threaten Equestria. Someone comes across these plans, thinks they're good, and tries them, now the M6 have to think as if they were evil to come up with ways to fight back against the baddie.

If rariflag doesn't deliver soon, I'll write a [Comedy] [Random] [Porn] oneshot about a miscarriage

If rariflag doesn't deliver soon, I'll write a serious drama where he gets reverse benjamin button-ed and put back in his mother's womb as an old man to be born again but this time he refuses to come out
he does keep the lawn nice and trim though

>>41159150
Soul.

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>>41159150
Also, I'm not sure how I feel about this being my first ever pony art.

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>>41159164
:^)

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>>41159150
>3. Equestria Girls. Jeez!
Kek, one word is enough

>>41158858
>evil-Rarity doing the certified anime rich girl's "Oh ho ho ho" laugh
Now give her drill hair.
>Celestia's few scenes were the highlight of the fic
Yeah.
>>41158919
>Should I be concerned
It wasn't the foal abuse, it was more so Rarity acting evil and lounging on a pile of gems.
>>41159017
>Rarity wears it best
I think that's because her design is at least semi-official, even if I always found that particular arc of the comics weird. I mean, its climax explains the design change between S1 and Luna Eclipsed, but it does so by making Luna Eclipsed make no sense.
>but a couple of jokes were pretty decent
Agreed there.
>they could've easily overstayed their welcome if they were longer, too
True enough.
>>41159041
>I'd call the prose of the fic efficient.
I'd agree there, actually.

I'm sorry for taking so long, guys.

>>41156833
You took the words right out of my mouth. Gestation's done, and now I merely need to finish the labour.

>>41159286
Remember to give your chapter a title.

>>41159343
I think >>41159294's
>100th trimester abortion
is a pretty good idea.

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After a long time, I've completed a pony story. A mystery thriller with a horror twist. Any and all feedback is welcome.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vNThetfykvbaQbXIIg5XmS18DMFsHW4JMXjT5ZSqKgA/edit?usp=sharing
It's currently 15k words long, and I'm also looking for good places to split it.

>>41159026
>Celestia finally marries
>gets pregnant
>some accident or attack happens
>leaves her unscathed
>kills both her husband and baby

>>41159680
>pregnant
>dead baby
You have a strange definition of unscathed.

>>41159680
>>41159683
I can't imagine a safer place than Celestia's uterus.

>>41159683
The idea is that Celestia herself suffered no injury thanks to her immortality but the baby didn't inheret her durability.
>>41159684
That's probably what everyone thought until it happened, even Celestia herself.

Just in case anyone's curious: - – − —

>>41158217
Actual publishing cares a lot about this autism. My entire job for a summer was taking word docs full of hyphens and correcting them to the proper dash/minus so the typesetters didn't have to bother with such plebian work and could focus on the InDesign shit instead.

>>41159150
>main characters are never shown to have parents
Did your twelve year old self watch the show? Twi's, Pinkie's, and Rarity's make appearances in S1-S2.

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>urge to club post after just finishing the chapters a few hours ago

>>41159670
Why not split it first, then?
You:re more likely to get attention with three 5k chapters than one 15k chapter.

>>41160049
Like a true chad, I didn't make it past Boast Busters.

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>>41160378
>join the fandom
>but not watch the show that it's about
If you didn't love the show, why did you even stay around in the show's fandom? I don't get it.

>>41160540
Some people are fans of the fandom due to the art, porn, fanfiction and general community. It makes sense with fans of fanfiction too since it is easier to find good MLP fanfiction than good fanfiction from any other setting or fandom. It's also a lot easier to find good stories on fimfiction.net than on fanfiction.net, and fimfiction.net is a very good fanfiction website in comparison to other fanfiction websites. A lot of the fan of the fandom types probably would have been furries if they were born 5-10 years earlier though.

>>41160557
I know true fags of the fagdom were always a thing (I randomly remembered an eqd poll from forever ago asking simply canon vs fanon), but very much unlike furries, FiM has a canon base that it's all built around. That's probably of the biggest differences. With everyone else referencing the same source, you can't really appreciate fics without first understanding what it's about. You'd think they'd watch the show at least for the necessary context.

Fics for "what no pussy does to a guy" feel?

>>41160649
fimfiction.net/stories

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Best Princess of High Treason,
>/FSBC/

I'm slightly mad at this fic. I'll get to the story, characters, etc. in a moment, but this has to be discussed first—the writing. I don't usually like to spend too much on it, but this fic's deserves a mention. Primarily because it's great. Actually great. Like, holy shit, the descriptions in the opening sequence have such a strong style and a lot of emotion. They're usually dark and heavy, and the fic handles them expertly. The dialogues are not far behind; the back-and-forth between the characters is masterfully tense and layered if, perhaps, built around characters who are somewhat larger than life. And yet the author, despite being clearly skilled at this whole writing thing, neglected to give it that final level of polish. I personally disagree with the punctuation here a lot (especially all the missing commas and troves of horrendous comma splices), but it does include several blatant typos and errors, too. This wouldn't be worth mentioning for 95% of fics, but with the writing being otherwise as amazing as it is, every "than" in place of "then" took me out of the fic.
This sucks because, when it doesn't make the typos, the writing here is kind of masterful. Maybe that's too big of a word, but I don't think we've read anything written this well in months! It's hard to describe without relying on nonsense terms like "environmental storytelling", but basically, it's my personal opinion that good writing is clear and has no errors, but fantastic writing must have its own "taste" that distinguishes it from the rest—the style that makes the sentences a lot more than merely an efficient means of conveying information. This fic does it really well. To name some actual examples, the way it plays with the pacing of individual sentences to sell a given atmosphere is superb, and the choice of adjectives suggesting certain moods is something you'd expect more from a poem than a fanfic. And that's why I'm mad; leaving the dumbest of dumb typos mars this writing in a way it really shouldn't have. Last week's author tried super hard and still fell a little short. Here, the author has all the skill he'd ever need but didn't let it shine to its fullest.

Characters, too. This Luna is several shades darker than fics like to portray her, and Chrysalis just oozes threat and danger like she does in no other fic I've read. She's a great monster: guileful, with a strong will, a sense of purpose, and the sheer raw danger that she emanates whenever she wants to. I wouldn't write her like this (couldn't write her like this, by any count), but I can acknowledge that this is probably Chryssi written at her best. Her relationship with Luna is handled super well. Speaking of Luna's relationships, the supporting cast is not numerous, but they make up for it in quality. The little moonstruck bug comes to mind first, but Wax and Beetle were also well-defined and very distinct.
I ran out of space again before getting to Luna. Whoops.

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>>41160807
Well... These are my first 2 notes I took early on in ch1
>Well right off the back i really like the style of the prose
>Luna kinda being a little bitch
Every single other note except for a handful of writing error complaints are an elaboration of my 2nd note. This is the worst Luna I've ever read and also the most powerful Chrysalis I've ever read. I can't tell if this story is more for bugfags or Luna haters but it is ridiculously one sided. "Completely in their power Luna is entirely at the whim and mercy of the Queen of changelings" Well, the description certainly wasn't fucking around. This reads like a corruption, ntr or fat ugly bastard doujin. The story quickly establishes the background of post wedding bugs, just to then set the stage for the entire story being opposite of what that lore would imply. Chrysalis is ALWAYS in complete power/control of any situation. When Luna attacks her out of the blue, Chrysalis has already won the fight. When a squad of royal guards show up, Chrysalis' word is law. When Luna has her pinned down with a hoof to her neck, Chrysalis is the one making threats while Luna whimpers in fear.
Meanwhile as I've said, this is the most mind broken pitiable embarrassing pussy bitch Luna I think I'll ever see. I think I got baited on some level by the way the story portrays Luna because there is a constant façade the story shows us about a powerful Luna who has mastered darkness and is immensely powerful while being elegant and regal as a princess should. Any and all of these snippets are almost immediately followed by a scene where Luna is shown to be completely pathetic and submissive. Any sort of attempt by Luna to say a few lines and have any sort of backbone or even rudimentary plan is immediately shattered by Chrysalis saying literally a single word to reduce Luna into a blubbering mess.
Ultimately the first 15 chapters boil down to this. If Luna is in a scene, expect her to be put in her place like a bitch. If Chrysalis is in a scene, she is without question dominating the scene and she will have get her way with no trouble at all. Many, many scenes contain both Chrysalis and Luna. I think you could add a single paragraph or maybe even sentence somewhere in ch2-4 and the fic could have an M and non-con tag and be a perfect fit for /fssbc/. Surreal and Canterlot/Celestia were the main factors that got me to the end of the week, but I think there was a piano man turning point in chapter 16 where I couldn't even try to take it serious anymore when, in this post-wedding world, the security was worse than pre-wedding. Not even all of the changelings make it to the city under """""guard""""" and then Chrysalis literally just decided to 'subjugate their little pony minds' and talks about how nobody would see her if she just flew around canterlot undisguised (she's right of course). I just started to kek at shit
>Luna's personal guard are these 2 funny guy male OC brothers
Yeah sure, of course.

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>>41160809
Ironically Luna's most powerful portrayal in the fic is when she's unconscious in a changeling pod. Thankfully not being awake means she can't actively be submissive and pathetic which means the author can write as much as they want about how powerful she is and how awestruck the changelings are without her immediately doing something embarrassing to juxtapose it. And she got her own gang of changelings or something for being some sort of emotional cognitohazard.
>chrysalis has ponies hostage
>Luna thinks about freeing them
>chrysalis has epic 'you put them in danger, not me'
Nigger wtf, you took them hostage lmao
>Chrysalis drops Fallow's journal
>Luna gasps and lurches forward to catch it with her magic
You're thousands of years old. Just fucking catch it not like a bitch. How hard is that? Just have a fucking shred of dignity for even a single second at any point in the fic where you're conscious, please I beg of you. Sure this bitch has caught something falling off of a table before. It's not a fucking life changing experience
>surry thought luna knew she was there (kept at a respectful distance and quiet), the same luna who in a combat situation didn't know her opponent was holding a huge rock right behind her head
Yeah I kind of doubt it.
>"Given every opportunity to leave, Luna wouldn't. The princess wouldn't even think of it as escape anymore."
>"But that was his Queen's skulking alicorn somewhere out there, and Beetle had to go in and get her."
>"No."
>"...no?" "I'm sorry."
>"That's better."
>Beetle disliked every part of luna, she was dangerous
Not sure where he got that idea unless he's reading the words. The story is never ending in its grandiose descriptions and perceptions of luna and yet none of it is real, every scene she's in is her being more corrupted and becoming more of chrysalis' bitch. Is this like premium reading for bugfags? Chryssi is 100% in control since the first chapter and every single action performed by a pony is some of the most pathetic stuff I've read.
>throwing moldy fruit at a princess
Based as fuck tbdesu. She deserves it.
I'm gonna continue next week, but the hope I had for canterlot in ch15 was gone by ch16 so I think I only care about Surreal licking Luna at this point. So unless Celestia get's her act together and beats the shit out of Luna or something I don't think I'm gonna care about anything else in this fic and I'm probably not gonna finish it. It reads too much like a fetish fic.

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>>41160807
[Voting]
Next week we're finishing this, so here are some suggestions as to what we could start afterwards. But suggestions are always welcome, provided (You) stick around to join at least that week's bookclub:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/549501/by-the-will-of-the-council
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/455858/the-bug-in-the-cave
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/385770/equestria-485000
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/306068/reticence
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/270457/sundowner-season

>>41160807
I only could read up to chapter fourteen, so bear with me. And I'm not sure I can convince myself to continue
Dunno what to think of this story. Individually, the chapters are fine, but stringed together, it's just eh. Halfway in, it's just beginning to have a direction.
This works better as an extended character piece, I think. I love this Chrysalis, she is confident, bossy, underhanded, and oozes authority. I don't like Luna that much, though. Surely, even her canon personality hints at she being sort of wild and very emotional, and sort of angsty, but she tends to be just a little bitch here, for lack of a better word.
And I still can only guess why /exactly/ Luna sought out Chrysalis. Does she want peace? Does she have some personal quest going on? It's never spelled out, and the hints are very vague, but correct me if I'm simply being retarded. Then practically nothing happens for chapters, but the conversations between Chryssy and Luna are at least interesting, and very loaded sometimes, but even still, it feels like the author just teases the audience with something that ultimately will never be revealed. And I never did this, I wonder if I should skip to the end, and see what happens there. I have a feeling it would be largely more of the same.
Also, some random notes:
Little Moon - great nickname
Luna knew the cruel irony well that her big sister was the only one who never made mistakes. Celestia never let herself.
"You use the truth like a worse kind of lie, until even the truth doubts itself."
This fic definitely has a way with words, I'll give it that. If only it was proofread a bit more, there are many grammar mistakes, and word repetitions

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>>41160815
Might I suggest adding my story as a possibility?
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/518330/the-dh-postal-company
I just think it would be a nice test for when (it will be I swear) Project Sparkle is finally finished because I think they're at a similar level of writing without the violence and sex. Someone suggested it before and the idea has been rattling around for me to go 'yeah' at the thought.

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>>41160807
>but this has to be discussed first--the writing.
I agree with pretty much everything here, it immediately had my interest and even late into the reading when I was just criticizing everything there were paragraphs that I noticed were beautiful. You know, in between typos and "than"s that is. Another set of eyes would've done wonders for this fic
>this is probably Chryssi written at her best
I feel like it couldn't be simply because of who she's written with. If you had said 'Chryssi written at her most powerful' I would agree but I don't think it's her best, and if it is then I don't think we've gotten to see it yet. Maybe Celestia will prove a better character for her to interact with. We'll get to see if they'll have real interactions, or if she'll just instantly make Celestia her bitch as well, proving that the wedding was a fluke and she's more powerful without Cadance than with her.
>>>Her relationship with Luna is handled super well
>I ran out of space again before getting to Luna. Whoops.
It's for the best

>>41160840
>I love this Chrysalis, she is confident, bossy, underhanded, and oozes authority. I don't like Luna that much, though. Surely, even her canon personality hints at she being sort of wild and very emotional, and sort of angsty, but she tends to be just a little bitch here, for lack of a better word.
Absolutely correct. I tried to stay away from saying I hate this Chryssi, because I don't. But she needs to have real characters and real interactions, she's had none of that. She just steps on Luna every scene instead of anything deeper. That said if there was some sort of 'all-stars' universe, this is a candidate for Chryssi.
>And I never did this, I wonder if I should skip to the end, and see what happens there
kek, I'm gonna read some comments and if they spoil then so be it. I'm in the same boat as you thinking 'why should I finish this' right now, but if I can tell something changes in the comments then maybe I will manage it

>>41160807
I didn't have much time, so here are some quick notes about the fic:

- Prose is damn great, very evocative, great flow.
- Pacing of the story can be a bit slow, but it didn't bother me at all so far.
- I like Chrysalis in this, a bit too manipulative and competent compared to the show, but that's a good thing and the author even explains it somehow in the story.
- Mixed feelings on Luna; I like the aspects that are hinted at in canon and how it explains her previous fuck-ups: temperamental and melodramatic. But damn, she's Chrysalis' carpet in this, always going down like a bitch in both physical and psychological battles.
- Personally, since the prose is so good, I would have liked to see the Hive explored more. I would have loved to see more detailed alien, otherworldly stuff and cultures.
- I don't care that much about the other characters. We'll see how it goes, but I can already sense that I will hate the guard bros, and both Surreal and Beetle are more interesting as devices to see how Luna's love is affecting the changelings than as characters, in my opinion.
- I do hope the three jewels will lead to something.

I'm interested and will continue to read, but for some reason, I have a gut feeling that things will worsen as it continues (nothing objective or rational, just a feeling).

>>41160840
>And I still can only guess why /exactly/ Luna sought out Chrysalis.
At the start? She wanted Chrysalis to remove fragments or memories of 'Love' that were possibly very painful to her. Those are the three 'jewels' Chrysalis removed.
We can only speculate, but Luna may have believed it was necessary for her to move forward, to start anew, or to rule effectively.

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>>41160865
>- Prose is damn great, very evocative, great flow.
yup
>- Mixed feelings on Luna; damn, she's Chrysalis' carpet in this, always going down like a bitch in both physical and psychological battles.
yup
>We'll see how it goes, but I can already sense that I will hate the guard bros, and both Surreal and Beetle are more interesting as devices to see how Luna's love is affecting the changelings than as characters
yup
>- I do hope the three jewels will lead to something.
yup
Good post

>>41160867
My words and your pic are not an exaggeration. If you want that feel, it might be worth reading this. Chryssalis completely embarrasses Luna in every single scene they're in together, to the point where it started to feel fetishy to me.

glad my Certified Twifag Take™ was actually in line with what most others thought and I'm not fighting everyone off. Even though the replies haven't really taken off

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>>41160809
I ran out of characters at precisely the worst possible time, I think.
>This is the worst Luna I've ever read
Au contraire, this is the worst opinion I've seen you post here. Subjective and all that so it's not "wrong" wrong per se, but Luna is my second favorite pony and this fic does her well imo. This is a more flawed version of Luna than I'd like to see, but her character is not far behind this fic's awesome (in both the modern, and the classic meaning of the word) Chrysalis. Yes, she makes some decisions that are perhaps too emotional and not right, but (You) get a good explanation about what she thinks and how she got to the conclusions that she reached. Her entire state of mind is presented so well, that your post reads to me like a complete misreading of the fic. It's difficult, if not impossible, to blame her for anything she does here. The nuance in the conversations between Luna and Chrysalis, as well as the nuance of their personalities, is the fic's strongest point imo. It's super well written.
Like, I think you're just wrong. Chrysalis, in a way, lost too. Do you not see what Luna did to them? You even get the world's most blatant prop bug to show it explicitly, but Luna has kind of mindbroken the hive and changed Chrysalis. The reason why Chrysalis feels the need to make all those shows of force is that Luna has done so much with here presence alone, and Chryssie cannot match her at all. Chrysalis won't admit it, but she's afraid, perhaps more than Luna is afraid of her. You see it in every scene before Luna embarks, in the way the 'lings treat her, how the "queen" treats her. The fic is incredibly stylish in its presentation, too, e.g. with intentionally capitalizing Queen but never princess, and it all works together.
This honestly reads like you decided to see what you wanted to see and didn't give the fic's subtle writing a chance. Whether by the fault of the author or you, the story missed for you. Missed with everything it was doing. I think that's fair, though. It's certainly way more subtle and nuanced than the average fic and reading it straight-up would have most readers miss the point, I think.

>>41160814
>Nigger wtf, you took them hostage lmao
>Yeah I kind of doubt it.
This is what I'm talking about. The fic is dramatic and very theatrical like Eternal (which is a somewhat subjective taste), but these kinds of oversimplified and contextless comments show that you never really got into the fic and its story. In all honesty I'm probably doing the exact opposite thing, where I'm willing to overlook more and go with some minor bullshit because of this excellent presentation. This writing sucked me in so bad.
A different, and less fitting imo, example would be Highball. This is kind of Highball's writing again, and you had a similar reaction to it.
>So unless Celestia get's her act together and beats the shit out of Luna or something
lol

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>>41160840
>This works better as an extended character piece, I think.
I agree, but for both of them. Chrysalis is the spotlight character, but unlike you I like this Luna. I was also not that much of a fan of how the author decided to write her, but the decision was justified imo when it became apparent what kinds of scenes he had planned for her.
>I still can only guess why /exactly/ Luna sought out Chrysalis
>the hints are very vague
This is not that kind of a fic, I think. We got the basic explanation and we might even get more answers later, but the way I was reading it, the "what" is much less important than the "how".
>I have a feeling it would be largely more of the same.
It probably will be, yeah.
> If only it was proofread a bit more
Definitely! It's so close to A-level writing, if only it didn't have stupid stumbles along the way.

>>41160842
8k is a bit too short, but I might throw in a few shorter fics into the pool and add yours as a second fic when one wins. Kind of rigging, but I've no shame about rigging for /fimfic/ fics.
>>41160815
Voting for By the Will of the Council by the way.

>>41160857
>I feel like it couldn't be simply because of who she's written with.
I continue to disagree, and I think the exact opposite is true. The fic knows what it's doing, and it intentionally contrasts them at every step.
>'why should I finish this'
You shouldn't. I am almost certain that you won't get what you're looking for here. The author had a plan, realized it really well imo, and if it didn't work for you in the first 50%, seeing the payoff and the results of Luna's influence on Chrysalis will fall flat too. I feel like I have a good idea where the fic will go from here (having, I presume, "gotten" it the way the author would've liked the readers to read it), but I will keep those to myself.

>>41160865
>Pacing of the story can be a bit slow, but it didn't bother me at all so far.
Same, and I think that's intentional. This kind of writing cannot rush ahead, and needs to take its sweet time. This is not paced like most of the "default" adventure fics, and that's great. Maybe I'm overestimating the author, but I really don't think that I am.
>I would have liked to see the Hive explored more
Yep, but I honestly could read about this fic exploring anything and I'd probably be content. The glimpses we got at the hive were great, but so was the dark forest, the cold journey, etc.
>both Surreal and Beetle are more interesting as devices to see how Luna's love is affecting the changelings
Yeah that's also fair. I do like this Luna for all the reasons I already said, but I think you're right on the mark here that they're more of an extension of her influence than their own ponies. Er, bugs.

>>41160871
>My words and your pic are not an exaggeration.
Indeed, they are not. They are a mistake. Picrel.

>>41160876
Words spoken seconds before disaster.

I read this story twice, the first time was a long, long time ago, maybe sometime after it had been completed, and the other a few years ago after I had gotten back into the fandom, and I've just been trying to struggle through writing my own stuff lately so I haven't really read it a third time (not that I wouldn't want to but I need to focus on cleaning up the last chapter of my current story and work on getting more than one chapter partially done for the next) but in regards to Luna's character in the story, we have to remember when it was written, which was after the end of season 2. Hell, Sleepless in Ponyville wouldn't air until after chapter 23 was released, and there was seven more chapters to go. At that point in time we had Luna's backstory and Luna Eclipsed to go off of, so her characterization I think is fine in what we see since not even her dreamwalking had been introduced in the show yet.

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>>41160897
Oh aye, fair doose.

>>41160878
>In all honesty I'm probably doing the exact opposite thing
We're both focusing on different things, but that doesn't mean neither of us saw what the other did. Nothing you said goes against me being mad that Luna gasps and gets flustered because Chrysalis dropped Fallow's journal instead of just passing it to her. This is a thousands of year old being. Every changeling in the fic knows that. But Luna herself seems to be the only one who doesn't. When she goes on some internal monologue about actually owning up to something and then Chryssalis says "No." it felt like she would've blown her own brains out if there was a shotgun nearby. She's absolutely pathetic.
>>>>>nuance of their personalities
>Chrysalis, in a way, lost too. Do you not see what Luna did to them?
The story itself opens with the fact that Chrysalis lost. Both the invasion (and her being a ruler) and into Luna's overarching plan of holding her to muh honor so this whole thing works. But when this is followed by her whipping Luna in every single scene then don't expect me to have that much fun reading about one of my favorite ponies "winning" in the end, because the journey certainly isn't that fun getting there.
>is that Luna has done so much with here presence alone
You say "presence alone" but in reality, it is only with her presence. Her presence IS powerful, I said so myself. In fact it's her most powerful trait, maybe even her only powerful trait. Her presence achieves more while she's in a pod than anything else she does. It's her actions I have a problem with. She would have a better time in this fic if she sat still and didn't react/interact with anything or anyone. Her presence is good, her actions are always a detriment to herself.
>This is kind of Highball's writing again, and you had a similar reaction to it.
kek, weird but true-ish comment. But again you bring up the writing and not what is written. Yes Highball had a strong style, I would think I even mentioned it. But it also was a complete cuck story just with a train as the mare. So sure, I did have very very similar thoughts about both. But you can have a story with good style that doesn't stray into fetish territory, we just don't seem to read many of those apparently.

>>41160878
> Do you not see what Luna did to them?
Not the anon, but I think he did see it, which is why he posted:
> Ironically, Luna's most powerful portrayal in the fic is when she's unconscious in a changeling pod.
I'm less extreme than him. Like I wrote, there were aspects of Luna's flaws that I liked a lot in this fic, but I do agree that Luna is portrayed as too much of a doormat here.
> Do you not see what Luna did to them?
> Luna has done so much with her presence alone.
Yeah, but that's not due to active actions on her part. She just went down and they fed on her. You wrote "presence alone," and that's kind of a problem in my opinion. Her only victory is because she's "there," and her love is good. She has no 'victories' because of actions she actively takes. Every time, Chrysalis is way ahead of her.
I would have accepted that a bit more if it were Fluttershy who was kidnapped, for instance.

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>>41160897
>Words spoken seconds before disaster.
But every other poster besides you has directly called Luna a bitch. And in their own first posts

>>41160898
I'm glad you brought that up since I actually had no note of publishing date since I just slapped it on my e-reader. I don't really think it changes anything really, but it is good to know nonetheless

>>41160912
Is this another Groomgang moment? you should choose a flag because we are pretty damn in line with each other on this.
>Yeah, but that's not due to active actions on her part. She just went down and they fed on her. You wrote "presence alone," and that's kind of a problem in my opinion. Her only victory is because she's "there," and her love is good. She has no 'victories' because of actions she actively takes. Every time, Chrysalis is way ahead of her.
This exactly.

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>>41160815
Voting "By the will", I have a review prepared.