>>6178905
>Goblin
>>Archipelago

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Nazi Elves
Cloud Forest

>>6179077
>+1

>>6178924
Support.

Elves exterminate the Goblins moving systematically from island to island on the archipelago.
Total Goblinoid Death

>>6178924
>>6179077
>>6179117
>>6179131
>>6179135


You are a bunch of elves who live in the Cloud Forest. After one goblin raid too many, you decide to go exterminate them.

But you discover that they live somewhere beyond the continent island you inhabit, some archipelago full of goblin pirates!

One elf leader emerges, a charismatic man who was once a simple foot soldier.

"We don't have their colonies, we don't have their worldwide connections, and we can't win if we don't manage our resources very carefully!", he says, to what people cheer and become resentful of the wastefulness of the upper classes.

"We must chop the sacred trees to build warships!"

To that, many thought he was going one step too far.

But will we endure the goblin attacks and do nothing?

> Chop off the sacred trees to make warships
> Sure we can get lumber somewhere else, try trading with the dwarves
> Endure the goblin attacks, they are short lived and dumb, they will die out to inner conflict for sure
> Write in

Also name leader.

>>6179437
>write-in
>Create a powerful economy to trade for lumber

"Perchland produces all the wealth it could ever need! Our workers and technical skill are the greatest in the world. We simply must stop the parasites from stealing it from us."

"We will meet with the temple leaders. If they do not want the forest thinned, then as an alternative they shall support our military forces by putting aside our pacifist traditions. Which tradition is more important, the trees or the pacifism that allows us to be victimized year after year after year? Let them decide."

"To raise our army and fleet, we shall put our craftsmen back to work. As part of our four-year plan, we will introduce a new mana based currency: Elf-thereum Coins, in order to escape the vicious cycle of international financial cartels dominated by goblin banks like Gringotts. This will serve as a strong foundation for our workers to be paid a fair wage. All women who retire from the workforce and start families will receive home loans, and we will forgive 25% of the loan for every child they bring into the world, ending the long standing elf birthrate crisis. With the funds from our economy, we will build a strong elf army to fend off pirate attacks, and by retaining our wealth here in Perchland, we will be able to construct a mighty fleet and then those goblins will see sheep no longer. They will see lions!"

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>>6179437
>>6179446

"The Elfs are collecting forces we need to counter them and slaughter them" the leading goblin dumrack said. What should we do fellow goblins?
> hide in the forest
> get help from other greenoids
> do an immediate attack to slaughter the elves

also name yourself goblinish if you support the goblin faction

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>>6179451
> get help from other greenoids

Uztulb, spiritual leader of the goblins:
"Call upon our greenskin brothers. The time has come for a holy war against the corrupt elves. Time to reclaim their lands, promised to us by the gods but occupied by these vile creatures"

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>>6180246

> get help from other greenoids


Elf Slayer Goblin lord dumrack said calmly:
"time is right, my brother, we have to sack the stupid elves, and take their valuables"
a war band of 5 goblins joined us, called Patrick, Patrijk, Benis, Tierk and Bob
>elfves surpassed the hyenas in its ruthlessness; if a elve was defenceless, his own siblings would eat him. follow their lead and put other goblins under our yoke
>go find a passage (pussy)
>eat slop

>>6180308
>>go find a passage (pussy)

Uztulb, spiritual leader of the goblins:
Carry out the order "Pussy" Let's find the ancient underground passage called "Pussy of the sexy troll" leading to the heart of "Cloud Forest" and strike the dirty elves. Without hesitation or remorse. Show no mercy and do not ask for mercy because these vile elven spawn, in their disgusting language, do not know such words. And do not fear death, because every greenskin who dies, will be rewarded in paradise by the gods with 69 virgins of any sex. And if you ask, how I know this? It is in the holy book of Gobran of the ancient goblins.

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>>6180543

Patrick says: I know just the way to the pussy of the sexy troll passage!
Patrijk says: Yea!!! https://voca.ro/1cUCDoybMO3A
Tierk: I also know the way but I dont care about it tho.
Elf Slayer Goblin lord dumrack said calmly: "I am sick of your guys shit. I wanted to put more goblins under my yoke, but I guess we do what Uztulb, spiritual leader of the goblins said. Lets go towards the Pussy of the sexy troll passage"

>hit Tierk until he tells us the way to go (roll 1d2)
>do the path that Patrick thinks is the right one
>I forgot Benis. Let Benis decide? (what does he decide i have no idea)

Thread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKzcsVBcH9I

>>6180678
>>I forgot Benis. Let Benis decide? (what does he decide i have no idea)

Benis suddenly decided to recite a poem he had learned from his mother's mother, which contained instructions on how to reach "Pussy of the sexy troll"

It's nice to walk
on forest paths.

And do you know, goblins,
who died in the forest?
A roe deer died here,
that was running quickly.

And here you see
a corpse of fox.
its eyes twinkle.

This cheerful bird
is a nice magpie,
that in the goblin's tale
brewed poison.

A hare carrion
grasses and herbs.
You will see a motley woodpecker in a tree.

a cuckoo cuckoo
far, .....
a sick hedgehog has a lair in dry leaves.
In a linden tree hollow you will find a passage called "Pussy of the sexy troll".

Oh noes

my super serious civ thread was hijacked

by elves and goblins!

well, fine, let's gooo

The elves have:

Three armies of MALE elf warriors.

Melee 4
Ranged 3

And one army of FEMALE elf archers

Melee 1
Ranged 4

You have the capital city of Lerbin to defend! Lerbin is Walled, so enemies must start fighting ranged and you can't be captured during the first roll.

The goblins have 15 armies of UGLY DIRTY GOBLINS

Melee 1
Ranged 1

and one army of ELITE HUNG STRONG SUPER GOBLINS

Melee 5
Ranged 0

You have 3 goblin burrows to defend (Ladanp, Darkmen and Wornay)

Combat you roll 1d6 per level of your combat stat to fight (ex if you melee is 2 you roll 2d6, if your ranged is 5 you roll 5d6)

You can send up to to 9 units to fight at once.

You kill one enemy if you win the dice roll, plus another for each 5 points you roll above your enemy.

If the goblins attack the females and win by 10 points or more, they capture instead of killing. They will BREED abominations and gain 3 extra armies. If the supergoblins capture the females, they breed one more army of supergoblins.

If a goblin burrow is captured, 1 goblin army will starve to death next turn.

Choose your targets!

Rolled 4, 5, 1, 2, 5, 4, 1, 4, 6 + 4 = 36 (9d6 + 4)

>>6181466
Assuming the attacking force is 8 UGLY DIRTY GOBLINS and 1 GIGAGOBLINS
The SS Elves will target the greennigger rabble with 9d6
While the highly breedable Maidenband targets the gigagoblins with 4d6

Else it will be all 13d6 vs 9d6 for the first round of combat.

Rolled 6, 5, 3, 3 = 17 (4d6)

>>6181484
32. The +4 was an accident. Here are the Maidenband's 4d6.

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Rolled 2, 4, 3, 2, 2, 5, 3, 2, 5 = 28 (9d6)

>>6181466
Siege the city, let them elf niggers starve, while we cut down as many trees as we can so they get butthurt. let the max amount of ugly dirty goblins fire their shit posts. target the males if necessary , but the shit post shall be fired without any goal, we just wanna see them elfes mald.

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>>6180751
Elf Slayer Goblin lord dumrack said calmy:
"we reached the linden tree after eating the dead animals along the way. I just wished Patrick, or wait was it Patryk, didnt swallow the magpie whoelsale."
Now the decision stands, what hole are we gonna take? The top one is difficuilt to reach, the two below seem easier but one smells terrible and the other is not a hole but a square? What kind of focking tree is this. (if you say a linden tree i will summon a lindwurm)
>top hole
>middle hole
>bottom hole

>>6181608
Aethelf Poplar stuck the tip of his blade onto the Goblin's manhood and leaned forward, slowly severing its tiny subhuman manhood and delighting in its screams of agony, before kicking its body off the parapets while it clutched its ruined groin. At the bottom, it landed with a wet splat and went silent.

"Good work, battle brothers. It looks like they have fled in cowardice to set up a seige instead of attack us directly. With this victory, we have turned the tide against the submen and equalized our numbers. Total Goblin Death is within our grasp. We will encircle the greenniggers and destroy them to the last subman."

>>6181484
>>6181485
>>6181608
>>6181633
>>6181675


The goblins flee! Two units of goblins perish in the assault.

The three goblin burrows produce one extra goblin unit each, now you have 16 armies.

What do you want to do next?

Goblins:

You find a wizard with a tower not too far from your territory. He keeps sending apprentices out to gather herbs in the forest.

> Build siege equipment (negates the first turn ranged advantage)
> Kidnap a wizard and force him to use his magic to aid you
> BREEDING FRENZY (+6 units of Melee 1 Ranged 1 goblins)
> Actually train your troops (choose up to three goblin units to get +1 to melee or to ranged. Maximum is Melee 3 Ranged 2)
> Force some goblins to fight to the death and eat each other until they are Gigagoblins (-5 units, +1 giga goblin)
> Write in


Elves:

The humans show up with horses. They are interested in Gold and and in rare Elvish Magical Stuff. You have a bunch of crappy magic items some elf nerds made in the past laying around that you could sell for some horses, if you want.

> Buy some horses from the humans, cavalry is always fun
> Attack the goblins
> Attack the humans
> Send diplomats
> Send explorers (find a new NPC race)
> Train your troops (select one unit and roll 1d10 if it is higher than your troop attribute or if you roll 0 it increases by 1)
> Have babies (the elf females can't fight this turn, next turn you get an unit of Child Elves with Melee 0 Ranged 0 which you can train later).
> Produce mana crystals (it is made with crystalized elf piss, your powerful magic can turn it into gold or use it to fuel enchantments. Turns into 1 Mana per unit of elves that you have in town, which you can use to summon spells in following turns)
> Write in

Math on this is rigged.
+3d6 per turn with an option of another 6d6 on top
+0d6 per turn for elves with no option for any d6s on top, horses might result in a single unit but it's essentially just a matter of time before the greenniggers autowin.

The Elves, being obviously superior, turn their weapons on faggot OP, slicing his balls off too and stabbing him repeatedly in his faggot face, destroying his worthless nigger brain, resulting in him peeing and shitting himself as he dies horribly. The goblins, a creation of his diseased communist brain, vanish along with his worthless life. Having achieved Total Goblin Death, they then go to OP's mom's house and fuck her silly. The End.

>>6181731

It is not supposed to be "balanced", you double nigger, this isn't risk, those are vastly different races, there are endless amounts of random shit that could happen to tip the balance one way or another, you don't even know what magic does, also you can attack the goblin burrows anytime, they can't defend everywhere at once, you can't deploy more than 9 units at once, and the goblin growth doesn't escalate infinitely.

Imma give the greenskins the option to start new burrows as well, cause why not.

Goblins:

> Start new burrow (must give it a cool name, -3 goblin units now, start gaining 1 extra goblin unit per turn starting next turn, must win a combat against some creature that already lives in the area though)

Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>6181633
Uztulb, spiritual leader of the goblins:
"Since a true goblin only penetrates holes, the square is nogo. Let the gods speak through runes and show us the way"
Uztulb pulls gnawed squirrel bones from his pockets and throws them....
"Yes, the gods command us to enter through....hole
> 1 not stinking
> 2 stinking

I think the elves gave up, they saw the overwhelming number of goblins and how efficient they are at breeding and it broke their morale.

The goblin culture is just obsessed with penetrating holes.

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The elves need a speech from their supreme leader to make them remember who they are and what they are fighting for.

>>6181737
>>6181740
>It is not supposed to be [fair], you double nigger, this isn't risk
Thank you for admitting you intentionally rigged the game. I do not play with cheaters. I quit while I'm ahead with my victory despite the naked cheating visible to all.

>>6181745

alright, goodbye

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After the Nazi Elf leader kills himself with an arrow to the head somehow the entire elf civilization mysteriously vanishes after an earthquake opens a rift and swallows their city (kinda like when those defeated villains die and their castle crumbles).

The humans think this is an omen against hubris.

The goblins get curious and decide to explore the rift.

Within, they find a bunch of Dark Elves.

How will the goblins react to the dark elves?
> Murder them
> Capture them
> Parlay with them
> Write in

Meanwhile, somewhere else in the world, a tribe of humans decide to become expansionist.

They have horses and their neighbours have horses and everyone they know have horses.

"Thukan, what lies beyond the great savanna?"

"Lands where the people are rich with metals and the women are trophies."

"Let's go plunder them, Thukan!"

"We must get the God's blessing first."

How will they get the God's blessing?
> Sacrifice your best horse to the gods
> Sacrifice your firstborn to the gods
> Drawn the lots amongst the tribal leaders and sacrifice one of us to the gods
> Write in

>>6181763
> Write in

The holy book of Gobran has announced a meeting with the Dark Elves, and commands the following.

1. Do Snu-Snu, with the Dark Elves because they like it
2. Kill other Elves, with the Dark Elves because they like it
3. More Snu-Snu, and more killing of others Elves who are not Dark.
4. Cooperate with the Dark Elves because they like Snu-Snu and kill other Elves.
5. Goblins are to like the Dark Elves because they are cool, dark, and Snu-Snu.

So the Goblins establish more than just diplomatic relations with the Dark Elves. And they cooperate with them.

>>6181785

Turns out the dark elves are extremely lewd, and enjoy fucked up sexual practices like BDSM with no safe word.

The goblins are famous for being able to breed with pretty much anything and the dark elves find themselves surprised when they start birthing goblins instead of dark elves, within short weeks instead of their usual long pregnancies.

They then realize that they coul use this against their enemies, birthing armies of disposable goblin foot soldier.

Will you accept to be breeding slaves and foot soldiers of the BDSM addicted dark elves?
> Yes, of course
> No, we will declare war on them
> Write in

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>>6182453
> Yes, of course
Goblins have no problem with this, although it would be nice if the dark elves would sometimes allow the goblin to dominate during the act of Snu-Snu.

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>>6182475

The goblins become privy to the state concerns of the dark elves.

There are lots of dwarves and gnomes who make their lives difficult, also on the deepest layers of the caves live giant worm monsters that don't let the dark elves have access to the rich resources there.

"The dwarves are poison resistant, the gnomes have weird automated killing machines and the giant worms are more poisonous than we are.", says one of the dark elf advisors, a sexy elf called Zyrna.

"Say, little goblins, with the insight you gleamed living in the surface, do you have any solution for our problems?", says the dark elf matriarch, Arachna VI.

> We will attack the dwarves head on
> We will attack the gnomes head on
> We will attack the giant worms head on
> We have a different idea
> Write in

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>>6182483
> We have a different idea.
Time for top secret "Cunning Infiltration Agency" operations. Black ops, false flags, assassinations, Psy-Ops sabotages and such. We'll set the Dwarves and Gnomes against each other and let them start killing each other off on their own. At the right moment we'll go into action and finish them off.
In the meantime we'll try to get Gnome technologies, and learn the secret of the Dwarves' immunity to the worm's poison.
And finally deal with the overgrown worm.
Yes yes, we must be sneaky and cunning.

>>6182505

You create a brand new doctrine of goblin infiltrators! The top secret "Cunning Infiltration Agency", whose name is whispered in fear amongst your foes!

Well, or will be, once you accomplish some stuff.

You ponder how to set the Dwarves and Gnomes against each other.

From what you reckon, they have solid trade relations, with the dwarves supplying coal and metal to the gnomes' ever hungry machines.

How will you sabotage their operation?

The dark elves will supply you some poison if you need, and their Dark Magic can leave a goblin almost invisible for 24 hours or until it attacks someone.

"There is also a darker ritual, where you shed your mortal skin for a new one made of shadows and can disappear in the dark, even attack while cloaked in shadows! But you will feel unending pain, as if someone had ripped away your skin, and none of your physical longings will ever be satisfied!", says Arachna

> Create one of these cursed assassins to see if they are any good (name it)
> Kill some gnomes using war axes to try and place the blame on the dwarves
> Steal one of the gnomes machines and use it to murder some dwarves to place the blame on the gnomes
> Write in

>>6182867
> Steal one of the gnomes machines and use it to murder some dwarves to place the blame on the gnomes.

We will impersonate the Nationalist Gnome Organization (NGO). We will prepare their propaganda materials about the superiority of gnomes over dwarves. We will hang up posters, leaflets, brochures in which gnomes insult dwarves calling them dirty and stinking because they do not wash their hands after doing a "2" in toilet. Then we will fake an attack of gnomes on dwarves.

>>6183032


The Cunning Infiltration Agency (CIA) sets its sights on sowing chaos between the gnomes and dwarves, targeting their trade alliance as the first step. The plan, dubbed Operation Coghammer, begins with a propaganda blitz to fabricate a gnomish nationalist faction, the Nationalist Gnome Organization (NGO). The goblins will create convincing forgeries of extremist materials—posters, leaflets, and slogans like "Dwarves: Too Filthy for Innovation!"—and spread them in dwarf territories to incite fury. To escalate tensions, a team of shadow-cloaked infiltrators will steal a gnomish war machine, repaint it with NGO insignias, and use it to launch a devastating attack on a dwarven outpost, leaving unmistakable traces of gnomish engineering. If the attack requires more precision, a volunteer goblin, subjected to the dark elves’ Ritual of the Shadow Wraith, will become the cursed assassin "Wraithclaw," eliminating witnesses and targeting leaders to ensure the narrative holds. To seal the deal, goblin agents disguised as dwarves could retaliate against gnomes, attacking caravans and leaving behind dwarf weapons and symbols, all while anonymous letters fan the flames of hatred between the two factions. The aim is simple: cripple the alliance, disrupt trade, and leave both sides too divided to notice the goblins' rise.

> Execute the Plan as Written: Begin with the propaganda blitz and move step-by-step through Operation Coghammer to weaken the gnome-dwarf alliance.
> Create Wraithclaw First: Test the effectiveness of the cursed assassin by sending "Wraithclaw" to assassinate key dwarven figures and instill fear before launching broader sabotage efforts.
> Steal and Attack: Skip the propaganda and immediately steal a gnomish war machine to attack a dwarf stronghold, focusing on maximizing destruction and blaming the NGO.
> Frame Both Sides Simultaneously: Divide resources to frame both factions at once—gnomes attacking dwarves and dwarves retaliating against gnomes—making it harder for them to uncover the truth.
> Gather More Resources: Delay the operation to acquire additional weapons, poisons, or dark magic rituals from the dark elves to ensure every step goes flawlessly.
> Write in

>>6183791
>> Execute the Plan as Written: Begin with the propaganda blitz and move step-by-step through Operation Coghammer to weaken the gnome-dwarf alliance.

We implement the plan step by step and observe what will happen. If necessary, we can always introduce changes to the plan on an ongoing basis, depending on the situation. In accordance with the CIA motto: Observation, orientation, decision, action.