A big part of growing up is realizing that your parents did what they could/what they knew best, and no longer outwardly hating them for the constant fuck-ups they committed while supposedly 'raising' you. My mom still says things that make my blood boil at times because of how painfully out-of-touch she is with how things are today (she's a Boomer, as is my step-father), but I've learned not to let it get to me. After doing so, it feels as though a great pressure had been lifted from my shoulders. They might say they know better because they're older, but I know better because I'm actually out here.But I wouldn't bother hating them anymore; it's too much energy. Plus, my biological dad died in 2021 like the coward he was, so hating him today is pretty much pointless as well. Would have been nice if his 'family' had bothered to tell me, at least.
>>82398341>growing>>82398341>better
>>82398341>A big part of growing up is realizing thatas a normalfaggot>your parents did what they could/what they knew bestSome of us actually have parents who are bad people.
>>82398360I get that. I probably should've added,>it's easier, of course, so long as you don't have to see or interact with them as an adultI know my biological dad was a genuinely shitty person, which is why it's odd that his highly evangelical family would protect him.
>>82398341>hatewhat a primitive energy intensive retard stateno, true asendancy lies in living with the pain and acceptance, but constant knowledge of that fact. nothing can be done however.
>>82398393I thought I was hinting at that, but yes: it's more of a 'controlled anger' at this point. >you need to think about your future, AnonWhere was all this when I was in my teens? Oh yeah, you were thinking the military would teach me all that...but, whatever.
>>82398387>it's odd that his highly evangelical family would protect him.It's not that odd, it's in line with what Jesus said: love your enemies, love each other. I'm not even on my deathbed and I already regret not showing more love.
>>82398341>A big part of growing up is realizing that your parents did what they could/what they knew bestThis is what ppl say to justify being as shitty as their parents
>>82398433Yeah, but they practically disavowed me. At one point, a certain aunt (sister of his) referred to me as>a demon>a devil>a terroristover the course of one summer. I didn't even do anything to justify being called those things, but I wasn't quite like the other kids, in that, I didn't care for sports or get excited about girls or whatever. After 2007, they collectively made no effort to keep contact with me.
>>82398448True, but at this point in the Information and AI Age, there's no excuse for being such parents. Previous generations at least could get away with saying they 'didn't know' about certain things (like credit scores which didn't come out until the 80s?), but today, we each have small computers in our pockets more powerful than what it took to get man to the Moon. No excuses today.
>>82398454Well, that isn't in line with what Jesus said, and that cuts deeper into what most people find offputting about evangelicism: hypocrisy.
>>82398341actually the best thing I did for my own individuation and mental health was realising and confronting both my parents about how shit they were
>>82398341>A big part of growing up is realizing that your parents did what they could/what they knew bestmine didn't. my mom was abusive and my dad abandoned me. some parents are shitty people.
>>82398467These people are your quintessential American(TM) evangelists, what with the expensive jewelry, speaking in tongues, loud performative services, etc all the while not actually living any of the values truly. Plus they're hardcore patriotic veterans (most of them), so there's that.>>82398471How'd it go? I want to do that, but at the same time not really, because I'd probably alienate them even more than I already have (they wanted me to move out, and now that I'm gone, they act like they want me back).>>82398482True. But, you can move beyond that...beyond them.
>>82398491>These people are your quintessential American(TM) evangelists, what with the expensive jewelry, speaking in tongues, loud performative services, etc all the while not actually living any of the values truly. Plus they're hardcore patriotic veterans (most of them), so there's that.Don't see it as them cutting you off. See it as good riddance.
my parents were basically children in adult bodies. This actually tracks with their life history and development. They never understood that when they had kids that the kids became the highest priority. They had kids and then remained in the position that their highest priority was their own needs. They treated us as if we were nothing but a burden. We were conditioned to never want or ask for anything because we would be punished. Mum was and is my whole life a severe anorexic and could barely cook or provide food. When we were hungry and asked for food she would say "what is this, an eating marathon" Dad used to buy me one pair of shoes every few years. He had a decent paying job but if I couldn't ask for anything because he'd say "I just bought you some". after they split up when I was 7 I was raised primarily by my mum in an abusive and neglectful house with my younger siblings. My Dad didn't give a single fuck. Never asked about how I was doing or if I needed anything. But then would pick me up on weekends and take me around to his grandparents place and do this parade as if he was a model parent. I could go on for hours. If I had a time machine I'd go back before I was born and beat both my parents to death with a baseball bat
>>82398491>How'd it go? I want to do that, but at the same time not really, because I'd probably alienate them even more than I already have (they wanted me to move out, and now that I'm gone, they act like they want me back).if the truth alienates people rather than drives them to reconcile or understand, they are deadweight in your life
>>82398513>See it as good riddanceI do these days. Compared to 2021-2024, I was angry and confused. It's quite freeing.>>82398537I feel like this is typical with how parents are these days as well.>neither of us are competent as adults, but you know what would fix us?>a kid!And that honeymoon wears off fast and hard, with the kids having to bear the brut of their ineptitude.
>>82398341congratulations on having a normal childhood. not everyone was as fortunate or as blessed. Par of being mature is having some humility and not generalizing your life experiences towards other poeple who come from different walks of life.accept your good fortune. be humble
>>82398341>They might say they know better because they're older, but I know better because I'm actually out here.this would actually be relieving if you were not a neet and had parents that acknowledged that you reach a point where you call the shots instead of them, my parents just won't fucking understand no matter how many times i tell them in the face that i fucking despise them. they believe i need to follow the same cycle they did just because it werked for them. im nearing the legal age of an adult in my cunt and they still ground me on a regular basis, because on top of all of that they're schizos that eat "electronics BAD" slop and not the actually true kind like smartwatches being tracking devices (they have like 5 different ones and i refused to wear mine because i knew and told them but they just called me ungrateful and paranoic) but the kind that believe playing vidya with any kind of violence is satanic and trying to find a good moral compass for yourself is bad and you need to obey any kind of higher authority without as much as a microgram of self-thought just because THEY KNOW BETTERthey just have a permanent hate boenr agaisnt electronics because turns out being unbearable cunts will cause your son to look for escapism in the nearest thing possible. right now the fat bitch that is my mom took my phone because i spent a bit too long in the bathroom and she found the perfect excuse to ground me for the gazillionth time in that, she won't even have the ovaries to tell me in the face that she thinks i masturbate or something, she will say some bullshit she saw on instagram about how phone screens are dirtier than a toilet seat and shut me up when i try to say it's just her lying. i HATE THESE CUNTS SO MUCH. GOD SAVE ME.
>>82398680I know; it can be infuriating. You're trying to explain the human condition in 2025 to people who are still mentally stuck in the 1980s or '70s. >no, you can't just walk into the leasing office with a handful of money and demand the next 1BD anymore>no, you can't just walk into the manager's office with a firm handshake and expect to get hired on the spot>no, wages aren't keeping up with the cost of livingand they just don't care/listen, drowning you out with their puerile way of thinking. But at the same time, Anon, you'll waste too much of your life caring about that if you're not careful. If anything (and this is not /adv/), use that anger in your workouts or something.
>>82398718i have thought about working out often, i don't have any equipment in my home nor very heavy things to make for the lack of proper dumbells, and, as it's often the case on this board, im too spergy to go out to my local gym. i don't have the best eating habits (i don't eat much) and hygiene but i don't eat carbohydrates 24/7 and bother to shower well and put deodorant when i need to go anywhere, that is something else i don't like of them, they think social life is the same as it was years ago and they'd rather see me dead than staying in my cozy room without normfags fucking me over, im not interested in sports and i dont wanna obtain the personality of a jock/snake. my lifestyle and small friend group is more than enough
>>82398816I mostly just run; no gym. If I can't run, I'll do cardio. I work in a warehouse, so either way, I'm getting a 'workout' in every day, per se. I run in extreme heat, rain, cold, it hardly matters; my neighbors and the rest of the town thinks I'm crazy.
>>82398863i could try this, i live in a relatively safe place and i could go out on nocturnal jogs, i also used to ride a bike when i went out but dropped it in favor of public transport, i could probably take a ride around the outskirts of the town due to less density. overall though i think i'll just retry looking on how to workout at home, thanks a lot for the advice
>>82398939Certainly. I did a 'nocturnal jog' once while it was raining and lightening. Didn't again though, because in retrospect, I could've stepped in something.
My parents ruined my life as a child and continue to harm me to this day. They have directly sabotaged my wellbeing 1000x more than anyone else ever did. They are my biggest enemies. I will never forgive them or forget what they've done to me. Much of the damage they did is impossible to remedy
>>82398956yeah that's something i did not foresee. more reasons to try working out at home, though i do not know what people could put in the sidewalk that could make me trip especially at night
>>82398341Hahaha no. My dad constantly insults manlets to my face then tells me height does not matter and to just lift more and be confident. Talks about how pro fighters training does not matter because they are under 6ft and how he could beat up any little guy every day.
>>82398341My mother has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and her and my father both have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. So while I understand your sentiment (the whole they meant well in their own fucked up child-like way) there are some people you absolutely need to remove from your life to have sanity and actually move on and live in a healthy way. That picrel never really dug into why his mother infuriated him so much and why he lashed out but there was legitimate reasons (her suiciding makes there no doubt). Mentally ill people will drive you mad if you let them and drag you down with them. I got stressed and angered and gaslit to the point of wreckless behavior that almost got me killed and I realized I can't have people like that around me no matter what their "intentions" are. It's grim and depressing in it's own way to realize and have to admit some people are beyond redemption. They will never change and the only thing for you to do is move on and forget them but that insight will save your fucking life. A lot of people have a really hard time admiting it to themselves when it's their parents because it also involves admiting most of your life has been a stupid waste of time spent on broken people all for nothing. Authenticity is the only way to salvation and you have to admit the problem before you can move on from it.
>>82398341I don't hate them. They're just not worth my time or attention. It's the idea of surrounding yourself with successful people and I don't want to be surrounded by a fat quirk chungus and man child both with tattoos that live in a hoarder's shithole home that bitch about money but spend every penny. I don't want to be around 2 miserable boomers who married and had me "just because" and as the result of not planning. Who taught me to be a professional victim in every way (yes I am aware of the irony of this post). Who said on multiple occasions I reminded them of Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory yet wondered why I couldn't get a girl growing up. Who sat me in front of a screen and wonder why I can't focus and am depressed.Is my situation as bad as other people's? No. But I am at least aware enough that you remove the source of the problem and by letting exist, you never solve anything. >I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed
>>82398341>your parents did what they could/what they knew bestwhat if that's not true though
>>82398341When I first saw this story years ago, it made me sob. Now, seeing it again after having deconstructed why I feel the way I do about my own mother, I realize just how incredibly manipulative it actually is. This isn't sincere at all. She was going to kill herself regardless and just wanted to fuck her son over on her way out. Of fucking COURSE she knew this wouldn't make him happy at all. She knew it. She wanted him distraught and angry, hated by everyone else in the family and more alone than ever before.Killing yourself and blaming your son in the suicide note doesn't come from a place of love. It comes from a place of vengeance. This person is a hardcore narcissist and this kind of relentlessly destructive behavior is likely the exact reason this anon hated his mother in the first place, even if he couldn't exactly point out why.My mom did shit like this all my life, to a lesser extent. She would do things to put me in situations that would make me feel like a horrible fucking wretched cretin, and it worked like clockwork until I realized what she was actually doing. It's gaslighting. She was gaslighting me.Anons, when you hate your parents but can't figure out exactly why, do keep in mind that there is very likely a real, concrete reason that you just can't figure out because it's so vague. This is precisely why gaslighting works with the efficacy that it does: it's vague and hard to pin down. Don't actively antagonize your parents, they'll just use that as ammo. Keep them at the healthiest distance possible, and keep them at that distance even if they seem to change. Your parents are narcissists and you hate them for a very legitimate reason. It can be hard to keep that in mind, but forgetting it can be your downfall.
>>82399566this, never trust anyone, not even your parents, had to learn this the bad way when i spent most of my childhood constantly thinking my parents were starting to change their ways and just destroy all that trust in one way or the other until they simply destroyed any paternal trust i had since my birth, they are relentless.
>>82399566>>82399622When you finally see how it's all an act and how phony and manipulative they really all and that it's all just to get attention and validation for themselves and for you to feed into their bullshit is when you really start HATING them for who they are. Until I got serious distance and the brainfog cleared did I really see how obvious it is. They use your own sense of empathy and humanity against you to try to get you to be an actor/prop in their charade.
>>82399622>>82399254A lot of people don't want to come to terms with their parents being mentally ill scumbags because it shatters their whole worldview and would force them to rethink their entire lives. I've seen many people run themselves into the ground because they don't want to admit their family is the problem and they're not the "good guys" like they think they are.
>>82399773>>82399856saved both of these
>>82398341Both my parents are abusive and cruel. Cowards and scum. I see no reason to treat them badly, but I also see no reason to love them, and I see plenty of reason to hate their guts for the rest of my life. That is how it is.
>>82399773>They use your own sense of empathy and humanity against you to try to get you to be an actor/prop in their charade.This. I come from poor white trash where my family tried so hard to make every little thing I did a competition. Ironically kids from the wealthiest families are the most fucked for these reasons as well.
>>82398393Ok so Existentialism
>>82400461Meh I Prefer Christian Existentialism
>>82398341When my infant brother died my father didnt even bother to show up to the funeral of his own son. He stayed home to smoke weed and play on his ps3 with his junkie friends. He raped my sister, he abused my mother. My mom drank my whole childhood and I spent a lot of time in foster care, she didnt bother to quit until she lost custody of all her children to the state. I have been blackpilled since then. What I have learned about the world is that people are inherently selfish and you are retarded if you think the majority of people care about anything more than they do themselves.
>>82398341>your parents did what they could/what they knew bestNeglecting and verbally and physically abusing me was what they knew best? Weird.
Ever since I moved out mom constantly sends me messages and calls me crying to apologize for the way she raised me and everything she has ever done to me, which is weird since I've never brought it up or asked her to do that. I don't even resent her or anything.>>82398341 picrel hits hard because I think my mom perhaps feels somewhat similar to that anon's. I just texted her saying I loved her which I pretty much never do. Thanks, OP
