What's the closest you've gotten to having sex?
>>82948228had a sex doll for a bit.
>>82948228I tickled my co-worker's butthole with a sharpie once.
>>82948236Tip top kek
>>82948228A cashier handed me change and our hands touched the other day.
>>82948228gay sexthat or clothed groping/making out
>>82948228i held hands like 15 years ago
>>82948228Closest I have gotten to having sex is sex. Having sex.
>>82948228i touched a guys hair once and he told me i was a disgusting creep and to kill myself (i was obese at the time, i was 14), does that count
>>82948265>clothed groping/making outW-with a man?
>>82948300i guess it does, but that's pretty gay anon
>>82948228A girl I really liked sat in my lap at the park and let me grope her boobs from under her shirt.
>>82948307anon im a (bio) woman :(
>>82948228I was at someones birthday party/sleepover and went to bed. A girl joined me, she was very touchy, but i was way too drunk and tired, impossible cursed combination. I did took the opportunity to feel her tits and pussy. When i woke up i wanted to rape her sooooo bad, she was so hot, like a half asian half white girl mix. I thought to myself whatever, "i was this close, it will happen soon, next time iam more lucky". This was 14 years ago. Absolutely cursed. I forgot what her pussy felt like, but i will never forget her smell, and her touch. Sometimes i dream about it, as if iam in the moment again. I hate that it happened, i wish i was just clueless about women.
>>82948336Then it counts and i'm gonna hit on you, hi foid let's get married and make babies
>>82948336Don't touch a nigga's hair from now on
>>82948228I was alone in a classroom with a girl who was my friend and we were sitting together on a couch but she was a psycho.
I have phone sex sometimes
>>82948350nta, no one wants to touch a nigger's hair thoughthis is a fantasy they've made uplong haired white men however are a different thingmine is better kept than most women and so many of them want to touch italso the way old hags come touch my beard at pubs and clubs is borderline sexual assault
>>82948300A chubby autistic girl started petting my hair randomly and it made me uncomfortable because I didn't know where her hands had been. Oddly enough this occurred in the same classroom that had the couch.
>>82948228Excluding the times I was groomed and probably drugged and raped by an older homosexual man, it was a girl in undergrad who gave all kinds of signals that she was interested that I did not follow
>>82948350he was white>>82948366fair enough tbdesu, ig that would be off putting
putting my fingers inside and eating pussy
>>82948385why were you obese femanon? how did you lose weight? mind sharing tips?
>>82948228I helped a lesbian get pregnant without even getting to put it in, she had me line up with her and I just had to jerk off against her
>>82948228fucking a wet pussy raw with no bc
>>82948306no, no.. that's with a woman.the gay sex n' stuff was with a man.
>>82948439why no gay sex with a woman anon? are you le sexist?
>>82948401well when i was a kid my parents fed me shit and i didnt inherit their metabolism. when i was 16 i started feeding myself with disability neetbuxx and did a lot of starving and managed to get down to a little overweight. i dont recommend anything i did cause im left with loose skin
>>82948447Wonder how so many robots are into neetbux, was it hard to get in on it femanon? genuinely considering looking into that since i'll have to pay for college next year
>>82948228The circumstances wouldn't lead to sex but it was the closest to it.Last decade in my 20s, I attended a day program for mentally ill people. Short story is, I got close to a girl there and she would flash me when no one was around, in empty/unused rooms. On one occasion, she flashed me her hairy crotch. I was not happy with this, and I expressed my disappointment using the words "I couldn't see anything" as if I was retarded (I must be). Realizing how stupid that sounded, I quickly unzipped my dick before the drying spell took effect. At that point she was greatly interested, and her hand immediately moved to touch it. Unfortunately within that moment, disaster nearly struck: a nurse came into our previously empty room. If I had not immediately stuck it back in my pants, she would have bore witness to the act. I'm sure she was already suspicious, and told us we shouldn't be alone together.It's really very hard for me to believe that happened to me as a wizard now.
>>82948451it was easy in my country (not america, ive heard its hell to get on there) because i have autism and migraine disorder. american neetbux is probably not good enough to pay for college
>>82948464I'm not american as well, i assume my country is somewhat easier since 3 of my cousins are already in on it and i know it'd be enough to pay my monthly tuition with a little leftover, only reason i never really got into it was because my mom always denied there was anything wrong with me growing up lol, thanks femanon
>>82948445unfortunately i'm a cis man, with a penis.this kind of inherently means i can't have gay sex with a woman.. just sex.. i don't make the rules anon.
>>82948458Anon, why didn't you arrange to meet up with her later? Wtf?
I cumed in a vaginer once, its was pretty sex
>>82948228Definitely those times I had sex but It's been so long since I had sex that I feel like one of you demented 23 year old incels
>>82948586did you put your peener in baginer?
During college a cute girl tried to flirt with me but I refused to believe she was attracted to me so I ignored her. She never talked to me again.
>>82948228Wish I had femanon who would present herself to me like that when I come home from work and we had babymaking sex.
>>82948228Escort sex, which barely counts. I can't perform well when I pay for it.Last couple of times, after an eight year break I couldn't even put it in. Though I finally came, thanks to lubed handjobs.Closest I ever got unpaid: https://desuarchive.org/r9k/thread/82857945/#82859149Almost all matches I've ever got never speak, nor are DTF. The few who claimed to be, all ghosted me anyway. FML.Recently matched with another foid looking for casual sex, and messaged her two days ago. She never replied.
>>82948228Laid naked in bed with a guy but he was too small to do anything with it. He cried and then jacked off to loli porn before sleeping. This happened in my early 20's I'm still a virgin 10 years later.
>>82949173Wtf is this a troll or are you deadass
>>82949189Deadass. That night is probably the most ugly and unwanted I've ever felt in my entire life, and I used to be over 300lbs.
>>82948228A girl touched my thigh but I sperged out and ruined it
>>82949173>he was too small to do anything with ithow small is even that? do you have any references of size that come to mind? i didn't even know that was possible
>>82948228I gave a mcdonalds coffee to a bald homeless chick because she looked like she was struggling and she asked if I like to party so I told her no and walked away.I dodged a bullet really.
>>82948228last night, came inside girlfriend before going to bed
Hugging a girl after dropping her off at her house. She got a boyfriend two weeks after that.
>>82949276I think he said it was 2 inches. He was obese and had maybe half an inch to work with once you account for his belly being in the way.
>>82949379damn, that's some fucking injustice there, poor guy, hopefully him being obese hid the rest and it was actually bigger than that, did you keep dating him or something?
>>82948228A girl kissed me for half a second in 2009.
>>82949173>>82949240I will make you feel beautiful, anon. If youre still a fat fuck I will make you feel better and motivated.
2 girls did all they could do show they were into me but i never followed up on it, didn't really know what to do. Could've led to all sorts of things
>>82948228I dropped a load in my gf 4 or 5 days ago. We should've had sex this morning or afternoon but we got fucked over. I probably won't see her for another week or so. :(
>>82948228Never have probably never willWomen cannot stand my presence at allI never hung out with a woman outside my family
>>82948228Cut a hole in a shitty ai anime girl body pillow from temu and creampied it consistently, before I threw it out
>>82948458>I quickly unzipped my dick
>>82949387We broke up a few months after that for a ton of different reasons.>>82949418I'm only slightly overweight now, but thanks.
>>82950067>slightly overweight and 30would you like a 19 year old husband?>///<
>>82948310Very nice anon, treasure this memory.
>>82948300Hi hi. This is Yuki from discord right?
>>82950079Based Christmas cake enjoyer
>>82950067Wanna meet a white guy in his 20s? Are you Asian? Disregard this if you are not an Asia woman.
I was kissing a girl and she rubbed my pp through my trousers and made me cum in my pants but she lost interest in me after that
>>82950204Hi James Rolfe. Your autobiography fucking sucks.
>>82950215Have you seen "I don't know James Rolfe"? Absolute cinema.
>>82950215I never read his book but I liked avgn as a kid so I'm happy we had similar experiences
>>82950079Maaaaybe, what kind of stuff are you into? What's your goal in life?>>82950114I'm not Asian.
>>82950271Financial stability, wife, kids, i'd like to see the world but wife and kids take priority and i'm into reading, gaming and watching stuff i guess? there's more but i'm too lazy to put it in a thread
>>82949173>>82949240wowthat is brutal
>>82950253>>82950257He was in a special ed school. Not a separate class, but an entire school for literal helmet wearing reyards. He pissed his bed daily and his mom had to keep a trauma notebook to write about the hell of having him as a son. Not sure why he has absolutely no shame writing about this.
>>82950271Dont post tomoko images if you are not a cute Asian femcel. You lead me on. Formerly fat Asians are my favorite.
>>82950372Interesting. I respect people who are honest about their embarrassing lives as someone with an embarrassing life. Either way he made good YouTube videos which is probably more than anything I've accomplished with my life so far
I've had women invite me into their beds several times and I went to sleep. Whats weird is even in these scenarios girls wont push you to have sex with them. They take it as a rejection if you dont try to have sex with them
>>82950397He is a fraud. Mike did 99% of the work. Mike matei is the real avgn. All James did was provide the camera, look into it. I know Mike gets a lot of hate, which he definitely deserves, but he made a literal retard like James into a millionaire.
>>82948228a boy I liked made me sit in his lap, I got so horny I almost fainted.he totally noticed and made fun of me, but he never told anyone about it, thankfully.am boy btw
>>82950410I like Mike Matei too. James if funny in the AVGN videos, he also made bored James which was kino. I don't know why you're expecting r9k users to hate someone for being an embarrassing sperg, someone being an embarrassing sperg makes me like them more if anything
I met a boy off discord irl but he couldn't get it hard and then he cried
>>82950441It is not about just being a sperg. The more you learn about James the more frustratingly stupid you realize he is. It is an absolute miracle he got any sort of success.
>>82950452damn what a shame.. did you try getting him hard? I guess him being nervous would do that, trying to suck it hard might have succeeded
>>82950455I support stupid retards failing upwards. Why should I give a fuck that he's retarded? Why do you give a fuck that he's retarded?
>>82950463I tried for like 20 mins but then him crying kind of killed the mood. I felt offended at the time that I wasn't able to arouse him but I know that it was probably a problem on his end, nerves or maybe just erectile dysfunction. I'd probably let him try again if he promised not to cry this time
>>82950485oh thats harsh, could be something like ed or just nervousness. >I'd probably let him try again if he promised not to cry this timeyea I get it. lol
>>82948228I was talking to hot r9k girl on Omegle rip off then my fucking iPad died fucking whore needs panties ripped off and spanked.
>>82950271>>82950285Femanon come back and be my older cool wife!
>>82950510No she is gross!!!
>>82950510She needs to be bent over and spanked with a wooden pallet (irl).
>>82948228Walked from college to the train station right next to college with a female classmate that wanted to talk with me. Only happened that one time. I think she thought I was boring afterward because she never hung out with me alone after that. Before that she hung out with me one time during break. I have never touched a female more intimately than holding hands for some class group thing we all had to do back in kindergarten class when I was 6 and class massage that we also had to do in class in 1st to 2nd grade where we had to massage the classmate right next to us on the back. I'm 23.
>>82948577She moved far away
Some black girl slapped my ass on a field trip whn I was 13.
>>82948228One time when I was like 3 or 4 y/o in daycare I showed one of my female friends my dick and she showed me her vagina and we both just poked each other'sthing with our fingers. It wasn't even sexual, we were just genuinely curious>mfw I peaked in daycare
>>82948228i tried to jerk off my bf but i accidentally hurt him by pulling back his foreskin too much and he couldn't get hard because he has porn-induced erectile dysfunction
>>82948228Had sex with women a total of three times, it was nice but I honestly don't think it's worth the annoyance of maintaining a relationship.
>>82948228I put my chin on a girls ass.
>>82948228passing through my mother's vagina during birth, c-section virgins stay mad
>donated blood>by now some of my blood has gone into Chad and made it into his dick while he fucked StacyLater virgins
my hot coworker hugged me when she saw I was noticeably upset and I felt her boobs on me
>>82948599Yes, thats how I coomed in her
>>82948228I made a girl laugh once.
>>82948228Probably going to a hotel room with a man before I ever met my current boyfriend. he fingered my pussy, and we cuddled romantically. we got into discord drama later on because I was upset he blocked me on discord and ghosted me. to be fair tho I was too clingy and needy and even intrusive when he didn't reply to my messages.
>>82948228Ive had sex over 1000 times so....
>>82953596>was too clingy and needy and even intrusive when he didn't reply to my messagesPumped and dumped by Chad eh?
one of my classmates is kinda fruity and sometimes squeezed my chest and caressed my thighs but i am too repulsive to even fags so that never went anywhere, he was straight even though the only sign of attraction he showed to women was fictional girls kekother than that ANOTHER classmate of mine in a school way before the other one once touched my dick but he wasn't cute and i just told him to fuck offim still young though so there's still a chance i can meet a degenerate though he was really cute i don't think i will meet anyone like that again
>>82948228esexvery original
>>82948336timestamped video of vagina or else larp
>>82948228God, I love this pose so much. I want femanon wife to present herself to me like that.
>>82953640He definitely wasn't a Chad. He was fat and in the process of losing weight. Im fat too and he was my looksmatch. I usually flirt with incel type of terminally online men online, and he was one of the few who was a "normal" man but struggled with getting women. He only give me a chance because he was down bad on soc once and then ditched me once he realized I was too mentally ill and clingy. I just find it weird that 4chan is so obsessed with Chads.
>>82948228cuddled, fully clothed, with a girl in her bed several times. bliss. probably better than having sex with her would've been anyway, she was kinda messy. there was another time where i was very obviously propositioned by this girl in college, i was complaining about my noisy roommates and she offered to let me sleep in her dorm since her roommates were always gone. didn't seem like an obvious come-on at the time, which sounds retarded, but that's what happens when you're 19 years old. she was cute, i should've taken her up on it. sorry, claire.
>>82948336nonny you can touch my hair and i wont call you a creep, its pretty long too
>>82951766Reminds me when I was in 2nd grade and me and a girl and another boy were out playing in the forest just behind our school. At one point the girl had to pee and did it right in front of us, even though she told us to look away I think we both looked and it was the only time in my life that I've seen a vagina aside from my mom's.
>>82948228Texting an escort then backing out
I drove a co-worker home from a work shift once and she asked me about my sex history. I said i was a handholdless,kissless,hugless virgin and she said that sucks and the atmosphere in the car was so awkward for the remaining 10ish minutes.Then on a lunch break about 2 weeks later she asked if I wanted help losing my virginity and I spilled my spaghetti everywhere from my heart racing through my chestShe then said that it would probably make it awkward between us and maybe we shouldn't do it
>>82954079Why would she ask about that so bluntly anyway? It's pretty personal.
