or any other disordersdo you wanna talk about it? what does a typical day look like for you? were you always like this or did you undergo some type of trauma that triggered it? what does your relationship with your family look like?
>>83907482>were you always like this or did you undergo some type of trauma that triggered it?Most definitely coded into my biology, environmental factors just triggered it. Symptoms started showing themselves when I got into my first relationship. >what does your relationship with your family look like?Love my dad, hate my mom.>do you wanna talk about it?Sure, ama>what does a typical day look like for you?>wake up>bedrot
hi nona>>83907519>amahow old are you now and how old were you when you first got diagnosed?do you have trouble making friends/maintaining relationships? if so, how? do you lash out or are generally dismissive of them?
>>83907482>do you wanna talk about it? no>what does a typical day look like for you? wake up clock into my remote job put in 8 hours crawl back in bed repeat>were you always like this or did you undergo some type of trauma that triggered it? my cousins raped me when i was 11 and it all turned to shit from there>what does your relationship with your family look like?haven't spoken to them in over a decade
>>83907542>nois it fine if we talk about something else? besides remote job and bedtime, do you usually do anything else with your free time? do you watch anime/movies/series? do you go out to, lets say, a park every once in a while? when was the last time you had any meaningful relationship of any type?
>>83907519>>83907540>>83907542I hope you know just the equivalent of human cattle :)
>>83907561thats not very nice anonorig
>>83907482I don't have BPD full on, just some traits.
>>83907540>how old are you now and how old were you when you first got diagnosed? 25, was 22 when I got diagnosed, so rather late. I've been showing symptoms since 15 though. Got a diagnosis because the relationship I had back then triggered me a lot and basically made me go insane to a point where there had to be something wrong with me lol.>do you have trouble making friends/maintaining relationships? if so, how?I have trouble maintaining friends due to me just disappearing and not responding for days, weeks or even months. Usually when it gets to the month timeframe I'll probably never reply anymore. Making friends is.. idk I don't click with a lot of people on that level, not related to my diagnosis.Maintaining relationships is harder, usually I deluded myself into thinking my crush is the one, ignoring all red flags, sucking at communication/expressing my needs, completely losing myself in the other person and then realising they're actually bad for me or just not what I'm looking for (since I was deluding myself in the first place). I used to jump into relationships almost instantly and then break up after a few months. I'm not like that anymore though, I still struggle with communication but much less. I try to vet my partners on patterns and behaviours, currently in process of writing a "Handlers manual guide">do you lash out or are generally dismissive of them?I rarely ever lash out. Only time that happens is when someone keeps invalidating my feelings. A "lash out" from me usually looks like this:>sorry>sorry>sorry>please dont hate me>please>im so sorry>i beg you>sorryI don't get angry, I just self destruct, freeze, self destruct again. I don't consider myself dismissive, I take every feedback and criticism as ultimate truth about me.
>>83907582>just some traitsare they usually an inconvenience when/if forming new relationships or friendships? have you been officially diagnosed yet?>>83907585>losing myself in the other personsounds a bit like fear of abandonment perhaps? have any your previous partners ever done anything to exacerbate your symptoms? (like actively gaslight you/verbally abuse you/cheat on you, etc)?
>>83907614I don't qualify for an official diagnosis. With treatment and stabilizing I could get rid of those traits. >forming new relationships or friendships I really struggle with this and have pretty high levels of social awkwardness that makes people uncomfortable, so I'm not really exactly wanted around. I tried to connect with a guy off here but I guess I wasn't good enough for him. He made posts about me that were plausibly deniable claiming I was crazy/insane while talking to me thinking I wouldn't notice. On some levels, I feel like people sense I am unstable in some way and want to provoke me. Im not even entirely sure what they want to provoke me into doing, like that anon I mentioned so it's just very confusing. I don't know where I stand with people or what exactly bothers them about me.
>>83907614Fear of abandonment is my worst symptom. >like actively gaslight you/verbally abuse you/cheat on you, etcYes, but those were the minority. My symptoms get 20x worse with those kind of people. Had a guy string me along for 1.5 years, gaslight me, manipulate me, lie to me, cheat on me, objectify me. He broke no contact with me to tell me he thinks he is about to die and then asked for nudes. I complied. This should show the grip he had on me and how mentally fucked I was lolMost guys were normal people though, clueless but not malicious on purpose. Real issue starts when I tell them what I need and they either don't care or continue hurting me. Usually I broke up after 3x of having my needs unmet. Unless you lovebomb me in the beginning and start manipulating me.
>>83907578Its ok just because you are cattle that doesn't mean I cant take care of you
>>83907641I'm the other nona that has been replying here>He made posts about me that were plausibly deniable claiming I was crazy/insane while talking to me thinking I wouldn't notice.That is disgusting, I guess some people just wanna turn people with BPD into lolcows to farm (YOU)sHope you're doing well.
>>83907662Thank you. It was really confusing because when I confronted him about it he would of course deny it was him, but it was all this awful stuff to make me feel bad about myself. Even posting my username because he thought I was talking to a ton of people, posting that I was the craziest person in all his years of 4chan but he didn't want to elaborate in case I got revenge on him or something, he was so nice one on one but was very nasty on here. It was pretty disturbing in hindsight. It also made me realize you can be a mentally ill person (he had schizoaffective disorder) and it has nothing to do with you just being a very bad person. I wonder now how much of an influence he had on a lolcow that was local to him. Granted, she's an abhorrent person as well but I doubt he did or said anything to help her either
>>83907641>want to provoke mesorry to hear that anon, people irl can be like that mainly bc the (hivemind) and if you dont fit very well within that framework then youre effectively shunned, and online people just have no remorse about it, care to stick around for a bit longer and tell me about yourself and what your usual day looks like?>>83907649>Had a guy string me along for 1.5 years, gaslight me, manipulate me, lie to me, cheat on me, objectify methis is what i fear is the most common denominator along people with BPD and personal relationships. Theres always someone trying to manipulate them which ends up emotionally scarring an already vulnerable individual. Why i ask about friends/family is bc they are usually the ones who notice such abusive relationships and can intervene before it gets any worse. In any case, im sorry about those experiences, i understand how hard it must be to be someone emotionally dependent on their partner and them not caring about it, to the point where you might even feel isolated>>83907651thats uhh... still not very nice?
>>83907694>schizoaffectivemore likely narcissistic or straight out sociopathic i fear, they do it out of pure boredom and amusement
>>83907705>thats uhh... still not very nice?Im not here to please you and your friend? lol
>>83907662>>83907694also a question ive got for you nonas, do you see yourselves possibly married or in a fairly average/traditional relationship in your future?
>>83907732>not here to please you and your friend?but youve got that wrong, its me and my fren(s)
>>83907705>Why i ask about friends/family is bc they are usually the ones who notice such abusive relationships and can interveneoh no haha he wanted me to keep it secret, which I did. Apart from my best friend no one knew. He then started to demonise my best friend trying to make me hate him/isolate me. >>83907694>you can be a mentally ill person and it has nothing to do with you just being a very bad person. This. Mentally ill =/= bad person. Being an abusive asshole isn't an exclusive to mentally ill people.
>>83907738>fairly average/traditional relationship What do you mean with this? Please elaborate
>>83907705>care to stick around for a bit longer and tell me about yourself and what your usual day looks like?Sorry, that's a bit too personal and I don't want to feel like a lab rat.>>83907715You're probably right. Are narcs drawn to BPD types? I feel like I've gotten the attention of more than the average person, which is concerning. >>83907738>possibly marriedThat would be nice, who wouldn't want to be in a healthy relationship? But, because I can only seem to draw the interest of malicious people, I have work to do and need to figure out how to prevent that among other things before considering a relationship sadly. I don't want to be alone, but I also don't want to end up in an abusive relationship again.
>>83907784>trying to make me hate him/isolate methat is pretty fucked up, im glad you could find your way out of it, and hopefully learned about certain patterns people like that tend to display>>83907793>Please elaboratewhat i meant by that was if you could see yourself in the future in a stable, average relationship, since having a disorder usually makes it a bit difficult for the other person (to adapt to it, i mean), not everyone will have the patience or be so understanding of that condition which inevitably will drive an average milquetoast person away
>>83907744idk what you mean but ok. You people are really retarded
>>83907807>I don't want to feel like a lab ratwasnt my intention, other than maybe getting you to open up a bit more, but its fine i dont plan on overstepping>narcs drawn to BPD types?from what ive seen if they can prey on people, especially those vulnerable, and get something in return they most likely will>need to figure out how to prevent thatdefinitely, setting up hard and soft boundaries is a must, also recognize certain patterns that are common within malicious people (like being too pushy, expecting you to be available 24/7, get upset/angry at small things), those are the kinda details id be on the lookout>>83907819why are you mad at us
>>83907817>you could see yourself in the future in a stable, average relationship, since having a disorder usually makes it a bit difficult for the other personYes. Definitely. It's okay that the average person isn't interested in me, not everyone is meant for me. I need a special type of person, that is just how it is. I will do my best to communicate what I need clearly, try to bried them on my patterns, as I mentioned previously I'm working on a Handbook how to handle me in certain situations. The right person is someone who is patient, emotionally stable, wants to understand me and take care of me, listens, is able to validate my feelings without enabling bad behaviour, can apologise without needing to be convinced and is self reflective.
>>83907849brief* typo
>>83907482>do you want to talk about it?yes when people are curious but talking isnt therapeutic >what does a typical day look like for you?>wake up>get out of bed three to six hours later>shower >do half of a task for dopamine>eat (optional)>cry in bed >were you always like this?my mom has bpd and i have always been like her in a toned down way but it got ten times worse for every traumatic event that happened >what does your relationship with your family look like?nonexistent. im a neet living in my dads new familys backhouse and i avoid them like my life depends on it. i have a deep hatred for my parents. i love my grandparents and im saving up money to move in with them and pursue my passion
>>83907848>why are you mad at uslol I would rather die than tell you shit get cancer. Do you want to tell me things about yourself?
>>83907849it definitely takes a lot of patience, maturity and empathy, but if someone truly loves you for who you are, they'll go the extra mile. its a common thing to think about relationships as 50/50 but in reality it can sometimes be 60/40 or 70/30, as long as both partners put effort into it the relationship will be nurtured>>83907858>it got ten times worse for every traumatic event that happenedis it maybe too personal asking about said traumas?also, do you sometimes do anything outside of your routine to distract yourself? like going out on a short walk or maybe stare at the stars for a couple minutes?>pursue my passionwhat would you like to be or do in the future?
>>83907882>Do you want to tell me things about yourself?sure, why not? i decided to make this thread so i could better understand how a certain disorder can affect different fembots in similar/different ways, and how often its triggers can be linked to traumatic eventsim also pretty much a normie, but i tend to hyperfocus on stuff once i put my mind into it (maybe mild autism, idk)what else would you like to know?
>>83907902Nta but i'll throw your question back at you, tell us about yourself and what a normal day looks like for you
>>83907902Oh are you a tranny or something than?
>>83907902nta but how come BPD interests you so much?
>>83907886>too personalthis is all anonymous so nothing is too personal. the only thing i have to worry about is looking like im seeking pity (cringe)>outside of your routinei like running errands as a distraction like replenishing my supplies or taking my recycling to the recycling center. once every week or two i go to a fun store and look around, sometimes i buy something. >what would you like to do or be in the future?my only passion is shopping (woman moment) so i want to become a reseller but i live in a big hcol city where everything is more expensive than what youd find online and my grandparents live in a small cheap town with a big warehouse type thrift store
>>83907910a normal day consists of something like>wake up around 8 or 9 am>scroll zoocial media>check notifications/respond to texts (if any)>get up, grab breakfast, greet the senpai>go back to my cave, boot up pc, work for a bit>spend the rest of the day on /r9k/, maybe lift some weights if i feel like itmonday and tuesday i go to trade school very early in the morning, but aside from that i lead a hybrid between NEET/normiealso work from home so most of the times i dont need to go out>>83907920>are you a tranny?fuck no, just another robot>>83907925>how come BPD interests you so much?i see the term being thrown around in here quite a bit, ive already (kinda) talked to a couple people with it and i find interesting the way our brains can come up with a failsafe or some type of outlet whenever it gets overwhelmed, more often due to past traumai see people treating BPD girls as BPDemons and they dont seem to put any type of interest into learning the "why's" behind their behaviors
>>83907955>fuck no, just another robotJust say what you are than?
>>83907955>greet the senpaiSo you have a gf?
>>83907927>seeking pitynothing wrong with showing empathy, some people do need it from time to time>i like running errandsthats very good nona, it seems like youre fairly comfortable with your surroundings and going out, even though i tend to be glued to my computer i have realized that i enjoy going out early in the morning on the days i go to school, its a different feeling to feel the cold breeze and watch the relatively empty and quiet streets>thrift storefrom what ive heard, thrifting is fun. There are people lucky enough who have found relics/unique pieces of clothing and even working expensive electronics in some thrift shops, you could try that sometime? but i believe its mostly in the US
>>83907977its funnier saying im a robot instead of saying im just a dude>>83907980unfortunately i dont, havent had a serious relationship in years, mostly because i rarely go out/socialize outside of my inner circle
How many of you fembots are named Amanda?
>>83907998>its funnier saying im a robot instead of saying im just a dudeYou should just kys its people like you that ruin this space
>>83908021is it now? i thought it was the trannies and indians posting nigger porn every single fucking day
>>83908028unrelated but how do you feel about black people on this board
>>83908028Whats the difference between a jeet and some faggot like you pretending your a girl. You both should just kys
>>83908047>pretending your a girlwhen did i ever claim i was a girl you fucking retardalso jeets reek of shit and can be easily spotted in these threads>>83908039theyre alright as long as they dont behave like niggers
>>83907955>i see people treating BPD girls as BPDemons and they dont seem to put any type of interest into learning the "why's" behind their behaviorsYes, you seem pretty emotionally intelligent. For the BPD person our behaviours aren't "random" and "out of nowhere" it might seem that way to outsiders. But we actually have a very good reason we react a certain way. Not saying all our behaviour is justified and correct but it doesn't spawn out of nowhere. This is also why validating ones emotions is so so valuable to a person with BPD. Dismissing and shaming our feelings just leads to us reacting even more extreme. Our thoughts and emotions are based on real inputs, it's just the intensity that is mismatched.
>>83907482I have avpd and cyclothymia(actually diagnosed)>what does a typical day look like for youSitting in front of a computer. Work and play.>were you always like thisFor as long as I could remember. I used to be more outgoing during elementary school. >some type of traumaMix of a dysfunctional home life and shitty school life>what does your relationship with your family look like?Normal on the surface but turbulent behind closed doors. My parents have had a drinking problem for as long as I can remember and they are both angry drunks. They uses to argue for hours on end in the evenings and that would always spill onto my siblings and I. It sometimes escalated to physical abuse. My Mom is vengeful and would snap at the slightest perceived offense. Talking to her is like walking on eggshells. My dad is paranoid and will accuse at the slightest indication of wrongdoing. I could just walk by normally and grab food from the kitchen and he would accuse me of being on drugs for "walking weird" or having "glassy eyes" despite me not having left the house for the past week and acting completely normal. I have never taken drugs btw. I'm very aware of others to a paranoid extent and I don't know how to fix it, its just ingrained into my subconscious.At the same time they were both very loving, and I feel bad for not really talking to them aside from the occasions they call me. In a weird way I appreciate my upbringing. I've learned how (not) to be a good partner and can abstract upwards from there.
>>83908069>Not saying all our behaviour is justified and correct but it doesn't spawn out of nowherethats true, but even when youre wrong about something, theres always a way to bring awareness to it without being an asshole, which is where most average people fail due to them not being completely understanding to the thought process of their significant other. That was kinda the point of this tread, to bring some awareness to it from different perspectives>>83908083>I have avpd and cyclothymiai had to further look into these, learned something new today>Work and playhave you ever felt overwhelmed to the point where you are unable to work/function for an extended period of time? if so, how do you usually manage it?>I used to be more outgoing during elementary schooldo you happen to remember an approximate or exact point in your life where it became clear you werent like the "average kid"?>At the same time they were both very lovingits certainly a very stark dichotomy, seems like their lows were very low and their highs werent enough to overshadow the previous lows. Id dare to say they both have underlying mental problems made worse by their drinking (though you might know this, having interacted with them for the better part of your life)the thing with alcoholics is theyll often spew out their hatred without abandon, and if they are naturally conflictive, thats all they will be able to do when they get triggered by anything while drunkmy grandpa used to drink quite a lot when i was a kid and i could experience first hand what my mom, her siblings and my grandma lived way way before i was brought to this world, so i know how fucked up can get (he had a ROUGH upbringing so to an extent, he had some demons eager to come out)
thanks to everyone who participated, i might post some more questions later when i wake up (if the thread is still up) cause im pretty brainfried by now, if any of you want to keep in contact or further talk about your past experiences feel free to add me _ghostfaced ive got some free time in my hands and interacting with people might be better than just wasting it on a computer (maybe?)
>>83908171>have you ever felt overwhelmed to the point where you are unable to work/function for an extended period of time? if so, how do you usually manage it?Occasionally. My friends have described me as quiet and mysterious(?). I think its because I don't like to share much about myself and rarely do so. >do you happen to remember an approximate or exact point in your life where it became clear you werent like the "average kid"?Elementary school. Probably around 2nd or 3rd grade for reasons besides the current context. >Id dare to say they both have underlying mental problems made worse by their drinkingCertainly. I'm no psychiatrist and I don't care to diagnose them but there is certainly something wrong with both of them>the thing with alcoholics is theyll often spew out their hatred without abandon, and if they are naturally conflictive, thats all they will be able to do when they get triggered by anything while drunkI think my mom had more of this tendency than my dad. She was easygoing and a good mom during the day but would let out all of her pent up anger at night. I have some genuinely wonderful memories of her.>my grandpa used to drink quite a lot when i was a kid and i could experience first hand what my mom, her siblings and my grandma lived way way before i was brought to this world, so i know how fucked up can get (he had a ROUGH upbringing so to an extent, he had some demons eager to come out)My mom was definitely the same. I don't know much of my dads past, but from what I've heard he has some skeletons in the closet too.I hope your life is going well anony, I'll pray for you before I go to bed.
>>83908228>how do you manage itI'm fortunate enough to be in a position where I can take a few days off and be away from anyone for a while. That's usually how I deal with things. Being around the few people I trust also works the same.
>>83908195>_ghostfacedNo one add this scumbag, tons of posts in the archives trying to pick up fembots. He just wants a bpd girl this time to fuck with. Check out picrel
>>83908228I'd like to preface this post with the fact that I'm a bit tipsy so I apologise if my responses aren't totally coherent. Gn anony.
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