You ever randomly remember a memory of something that you are embarrassed or ashamed of and just scream really loud or yell a random word till the memory goes away? I do this once a day every day.
>>84350132yes, except i do it 20 times per day. i have massive ptsd but the real kind, from crazy serial killer cartel pedo rape digging up prostitute's bodies as a child type ptsd.
>>84350262Yeah but it heals as things get better with those things.
>>84350132Yea I used to say a couple things. Good thing nobody was listening
>>84350132Just the times I interrupted the class in college with something and looked like a dumbass but I can forget it pretty easily.
>>84350132yeah I realized I internally spammed shit like "fat cat fat cat" when I'm reminiscing about cringe things I've said or done which is most of the timeI'm probably retarded
i create an embarassing memory almost every day and it just kinda adds up so that im never without supply of embarrassing shit to remember
Yeah all the time. I have a lot of shame and guilt from things I've done in the past like getting angry at people for no reason or being mean to my parents many years ago that I have to yell out my ex's name to clear my mind. It's like a tic.
>>84350132Yeah it usually makes me recoil at my own cringe so bad I say "Just fucking shoot me" out loud.
>>84350132I have OCD so I just accept that it's there and try to think about something that matters more. Unthankfully what matters is even worse. It burns through my mind enough that I just want to pass out and can't think anymore though.
>>84350132>You ever randomly remember a memory of something that you are embarrassed or ashamed of and just scream really loud or yell a random word till the memory goes away?Yeah, I do. It sucks. Why must I hate myself and torture myself so?
>>84350132I do this in public all the time
Fuck shit damnit ahh
>>84350132Yeah. My go to is usually something like "fucking nigger cunt kike faggot blow my brains out fuck" but it can be kinda random with what curses/slurs I use.
>>84350777I forgot "Blow my faggot brains out with a shotgun" or a simple "slit my fucking wrists nigger". Those are pretty common for me too.
Yeah, when I'm in an irritated mood I will think through any number of unpleasant interactions I've had. It often comes with me making weird sounds.Lately I've also been saying "nigger, nigger, nigger, nigger..." to myself, it's strangely soothing.
>>84350262>from crazy serial killer cartel pedo rape digging up prostitute's bodies as a child type ptsd.What is this sentence?
>>84350132I spend every day mentally kicking myself over failures and chances I didn't take some of which go back 15+ years.
>>84350444This except I use "I'm going to hang myself"
he'll realize it's not that deep eventually.
>>84350132yeah, pretty much. My life sucks so much
