>Be me>Tranny>Finally got on mood stabilizers>They utterly destroy my soul>Have removed every ounce of joy in my life>The only feelings I can get are from art and theory about how fucking terrible the world is>It also got rid of the dysphoria>I want back in gay male circles>But my transition actually went really well and I look like a plain Jane woman>Nobody fucking wants me besides for some people who want me for my looks>I started reading gay faggot stuff to cope and self insertWell. I spent my life wanting to be a guy but in an ftm way. Now I find myself there, and once again I find myself wanting out.Its over.
>>84411690mood stabilizers are often misprescribed from my observations. what were you specifically prescribed them for instead of an SSRI or something else?
>>84411690Then why don't you just stop taking the mood stabilizers?
omg your life is so bad you succeeded in a goal you had you have social circles people want you it's so over
>Be me>Not Tranny>Unmedicated>Already destroyed soul>Do not feel joy except when I'm eating>Tanked my osrs pact build and the only way out of it is to wait for the free reset they're giving tomorrow>Might be able to salvage it by doing tasks but the allure of laying back down for no reason other than sleeping I don't experience my life and time will move faster is very strong
>>84411690haha u r a queer, jam boy alert
>>84411696Bipolar. Extremely bad bipolar.>>84411703Because without them I destroy myself and everyone around me.
>>84411708how did you fuck up your build?>>84411711is it lithium? or something else?
>>84411715Its depakote.
lol, same happened to me anongot on antipsychotics and antidepressants and felt like my soul was gone. got off them because it was really upsetting to feel like I was a worse person than I used to be. Now I'm just allowing myself to be 100% completely insane and my current life goal is to become a living saint.I think it's normal for your dysphoria to dissapate a little bit once your body is aligned with what makes you comfortable. I had the same thing happen when I started passing. If I went back to having a male body though, I already know I wouldn't be able to take it. Do you not feel like that? Do you really want to be a man, or does it just arouse you to imagine yourself as a gay male in sexual encounters?
>>84411711>Bipolar. Extremely bad bipolar.wait you're bipolar too? pogg. I'm (>>84411720) bipolar as well. What you described is relatable.Your comorbidity of bipolar and gender dysphoria maybe gives you episodic dysphoria. The same thing happens to me. I can feel fine about being a guy for a while but then a mood shift comes along and one shots me. When I'm feeling really manic, I sort of identify with my gender differently than when I'm depressed. Another mood shift like one brought about by stabilizers might do the same.
>>84411718depakote is an anti-seizure medication. if you truly have bipolar--as in, if you actually have the unique mechanism that causes bipolar's distinct switching phenomenon on a multi-day to multi-week timescale, then what you need is lithium, because of its effect on cAMP signalling.your psychiatrist is not serving you properly. depakote is physically addictive and the withdrawals will involve muscle tics and jerks, anxiety, agitation, erratic moods, and other effects reminiscent of benzodiazepine withdrawal.these people have not taken the drugs. if they are not acutely aware of the mechanisms of the illness and the drugs, then they are simply operating on a script that they may or may not even understand the reasoning behind. you need to do your own research when engaging with psychiatrists. it shouldn't be like this but it is.
>>84411720Idk. Id want to have a twink4twink relationship and have it be forever like that. I wouldnt want to turn into a hairy barrel chested balding disgusting thing, or honestly come to think of it even being an attractive older man still sounds like hell.Ig I'm managing to fall for the exact same traps as so many fujotm's fall for as a tranny.I hate gender.
>>84411772Yeah Ive had 5 mania episodes 2 depressive episodes, and a near psychosis episode in a month last month before I got on stabilizers, the doctor said its just an in between before I can get to a psych.
>>84411782if you truly have bipolar then you will feel so much better on lithium compared to depakote that you should definitely hold out until that point. but remember you'll need to taper the depakote and there will be withdrawals.
>>84411772>depakote is an anti-seizure medicationi've been given anti seizure medications for my bipolar before too. i think it depends. lithium causes all sorts of problems especially for women because it makes your hair crack and does all sorta other nasty crap.>>84411773>Id want to have a twink4twink relationship and have it be forever like that.you can probably just date another trans girl and get something pretty similar to that without too much difficulty. i see a lot of trans girls posting the same stuff you are now. Were you planning on getting rid of your boobs and stuff and fully detransitioning, or just changing what you call yourself?
>>84411816Tbh the boobs are my biggest problem about it. I try binding but I miss having a flat chest. Ive always had a problem with having boobs, since my first day of hrt
>>84411836>Ive always had a problem with having boobs, since my first day of hrt who the heck gave you hrt when you dislike like having boobs? the RLE boomerpsychs are so vindicated
>>84411845I actually started with multiple years of real life experiance under my belt full time. I went in knowing the boobs would be a problem but I didnt realize how much of a problem.
>>84411845>>84411855Come to think of it even through that real life experiance I also had a habit of faking having tits. But that I could take off, I dont like having objectification spheres on the front of me at all times, I dont like being unable to control how they effect social interactions.Woman stuff ig.
>>84411690>I look like a plain Jane womanyeah, sure
>>84411858>I dont like having objectification spheres on the front of me at all times, I dont like being unable to control how they effect social interactions.>Woman stuff ig.I don't really get it. It's a part of your body that you're supposed to have as a girl. Do you not want a female body?
