Helo minasanI amhere because I know there is a lot of depressed men here and i wanna hear your opinionI am scared my husband will kill himself. He bascially doesnt have anything to do in this life at all. He whines about work and stuff but he doesnt look forwards to weekends either because he has nothing to do. He used to play runescape all day but i guess it got old. He seems to enjoy movement but we live in a cold place and he barely eats so he is cold all the time and gets headaches from it so he doesnt want to go outside either, and when I tell him to go to some club like aikido or whatever he says he doesnt want to talk to strangers. I also cant suggest creative stuff because he has 0 creativity and considers imagining things he hardest thing in the universe. In the beggining of the year I convinced him to take some jewpills I had left over from my early life (escitalopram) and it worked well for him but then ended and I do not think I can convince him to go to gp to get actual prescription. I could barely get him to get his allergy medicine I do not believe he will talk about his feelings to a stranger. Idk what else to propose, I am at the end of my wit. I am stay at home gf, cook, clean, never deny him anything, ask his opinions on stuff but he is just overall apathetic and doesn't even drink his homecoming tea half of the time. I think he may have settled for me but idk what to do about it. I suggested shrooms for this weekend, will this help???
>>84420067ohayo, your husband might be commit the seppuku soon desu
>>84420102Yeah I know how do I stop him from doing it
>>84420067> I think he may have settled for mewhy are you saying this like it is a bad thing, he chose you to be the woman to spend his life withHes probably just depressed
this is not real, right? just jealousy fuel, demotivation? makes the wife sound absurdly good and caring. well, he just goes to work, comes home and lays around? and on holidays and when he has time off?
>>84420107have you tried crying and breaking down in front of him, is he a jp salaryman
>>84420118>well, he just goes to work, comes home and lays around?Kind of, he tries watching something and then falls asleep or turns it off and just stares at the wall. He isnt particularly overworked just to clarify, he works regular 8 to 5.>>84420116>why are you saying this like it is a bad thingWell that may be bad if true in the sense I do not constitute as any sort of motivation for him, as a reason to keep going and such.
>>84420123What over.Like when he jokes about death another time, should I break down crying? It is been awhile since I cried in front of him I guess.
>>84420146yes, does he have family like a mom he cares about, can u get a dr to prescribe over the phone or one to come see him at your house, or maybe he doesnt like the pills cost or side effects
>>84420155I don't think he cares that much about his mom or dad since they abandoned him at the age of 12.I can't really doctor stuff for him, that's illegal and GPs don't do home visits anymore. Pills cost like 3 euros or such for a pack. Idk about side effects I didn't notice any
>>84420067>>84420138Your husband needs to bask in radiant positive energy. Like being near someone who is very happy. It will recharge his dim lightbulb. Essentially, he needs a showing of why life is worth it. And that can only be shown be someone enjoying it.
>>84420067>and doesn't even drink his homecoming tea half of the time.that is very grim, have you thought about playing vidya games with him, maybe that will cheer him up
>>84420219I don't think such people exist in my country lol. But maybe he could have met someone if he went to club but he refusesNot that I am personally a downer I try to be playful with him, but I'm not a complete sunshine tho>>84420225We used to play a lot together but lately no game that can be done cooperatively is catching his interest
the spiritual apocalypse is here
>>84420396are you sure he is very depressed or just in a temporary slump, does he not a bro buddy or something
>>84420404You mean for everyone or just him?
>>84420067get pregnant and have his children
>>84420407I don't want to throw around labels, my main concern is that he doesn't haver any hobbies or interests, nothing to fill his free time with. He doesn't really have buddies/they are all abroad. He does have a brother but they haven't interacted much in awhile.
>>84420409it's here for everyone
>>84420411guys tend to step up when they become fathers, it's biological. Even just telling him you want to start trying. Will probably do it. Aside from this, stop cooking with vegetable oil or anything else that inhibits thyroid function if he has low energy
>>84420411I'm not against, but he doesn't want kids and I choose him (existing love) over potential kid s that may turn out a catastrophe (unknown) .
>>84420414do you have any life problems, maybe him helping you would give him motivation
>>84420421He is vegan so I can't cook with animal produce. He's been so 15 years so he won't change.
>>84420427do u cook good vegan food, what about taking him to a bhuddist monastery or shrine
>>84420500He does like my food. I try to keep it balanced despite being vegan.We dont have buddhist monasteries or shrine im not jap lol>>84420426Well I recently dropped out of uni and need to seek a job or something, but I cant do that till the middle of july for some bureaucracy related reason so for now I'm enjoying neeting.
>>84420573well many men get purpose from helping others so maybe he has that, men want to be relied upon and have responsibilities more than just go to work come home so maybe u could just act like a needy neet gf for him
>>84420586>so maybe u could just act like a needy neet gf for himHow would that look exactly? I do ask for headpats...Sorry i am autistic
>>84420677theres many anime with that story line, u could watch those, is ur bf a strong burly stoic moid
OP is a male autogynephile.
>>84420411don't do this. it's a trapfind peace with yourself and hope he sees that peace
>>84420696Like what? He isnt much of a stoic desu he is just a massive sweetheart and doesnt want to bother anyone
>>84420427the lack of energy makes sense...>>84420739Men tend not to be this rambly. The other 97 times you'd be right though.
>>84420758>A trapIt's biology. She probably wants to be with him in old age, what the hell are you talking about?
>>84420423Why doesn't he want kids? Many millenials are like this.Not to be rude, but are you fat? Is he? Is there mold in your apartment? If you had to look at it from a problem solving perspective, what is the source of his lack of enthusiasm for life?Here's some from the top of my head>Not enough sleep / Sleep Apnea (does he snore loud at night?)>try do pickleball or squash with him and some friends>Bad diet (likely, vegan)>Not going anywhere in life, no strong goal>Bad thyroid (likely = cold and lazy (learned helplessness)) Read ray peat's work, he's known for his writing on thyroid stuffI think you should raise the issue vocally. Guys see problems as things to be solved, don't worry about how you come off. Give these things as possibilities instead of blaming him. Also, to add to the rudeness of my post. Don't describe your spouse as uncreative. This sort of stuff can hurt ones feelings, and chill their positive feelings toward you, even if they don't make it known. If nothing else, giving him zinc should give him some energy. You can buy it from the supermarket. Look for a variant that's balanced with copper, but really any of them should do short term. Don't get a multivitamin one (anything with asorbic acid), just go for zinc only. If you don't see improvements after a week, just stop it. Lastly, if you're a AGP guy like >>84420739said, I prescribe suicide.
>>84421117Idk if I'd call this lack of energy. I would say that his energy is average, it is his curiosity that is lacking. I am the one with low energy, but my interest in life is nonetheless high. I just take very long to get anything done.>>84421171He finds kids extremely irritating and even somewhat triggering. Like I am not the type of person who finds kids very cute either but still but I am not anywhere near this annoyed. He will literally immediately stop watching an anime if there are kids below 10 in it.He doesnt get enough sleep, but he chooses it so. He says 6 hours is enough and just refuses to sleep any longer. I dont think there is anything wrong with his thyroid though, we both have excellent bloodwork.>Not going anywhere in life, no strong goalThat is very likely, but where is he supposed to go without any interests to begin with? He already has a stable job and a home, more than most people in this economy do. I didnt notice anything after he took zinc. Or maca in that case. >Don't describe your spouse as uncreative.Don't worry about it, that is how he sees himself first and foremost. Being a creator is an instinct of sorts, inborn shit, and some people just dont have it and its ok. He heavily prefers maths and algorithms and such, things that abide by concrete rules. I have brought up creating a game once and he straight told me that he wont do anything creative ever, that will be all for me to handle.
>>84420067I sadly can't offer to heal his heart, but here is my observation.>we live in a cold place and he barely eatsNutrition and sunlight plays a huge role in mood. Especially in the north Seasonally Affected mood Disorder (SAD) is quite common. I suggest maybe try taking vitamin D supplements and/or go outside more. Summer is here, so take him on some hikes to nature. If not for the sunlight, but to get the body moving.
He needs high dose vitamin D, like two months of 70k IU/day and then into 15k/day to maintain. Combine with vit K, magnesium, and a source of (high quality if possible) dietary fat. Don't be tricked by the fearmongering, I have taken millions of IU per day short term and have been great (which isn't even that much by weight)
>>84421247Summer is unfortunately not here yet, its below 10C and windy. It is sunny, but really its the wind that hurts him much (he gets headaches)
>>84420067Does he plat any other games? Anything you know he might like?Do you know his favorite food? Maybe try making something else, he might not enjoy what you're serving him.Have you suggested therapy?How did he get together with you if he doesn't want to talk to strangers?
>>84421500> Does he plat any other games? Anything you know he might like?He tries new games frequently but nothing sticks>Do you know his favorite food? Maybe try making something else, he might not enjoy what you're serving him.He likes curry and tom kha. I serve this more than that, but I check up on whenever he liked it or not and he is generally honest.> Have you suggested therapy?Yeah? I'd be happy if he at least visited a gp, since seeking a therapist is way too difficult here.> How did he get together with you if he doesn't want to talk to strangers?It was written in the stars and unlikely happening. A chance, basically
>>84421121using a child to keep a relationship is a trap you naive retard
>>84420067I am frankly afraid, that he suffering from the same thing I am: utter feeling of helplessness in face of odds. I am afraid to cry with women and with good reason I might add. Crying with men helped me to get it out and frankly the only thing that allows me to do it is my priest.With that out of the way, it allowed me to feel the true magnitude of the problem, that is that I am unable to protect those I love. My heart goes out to you, I often feel resentment for women being heartless when faced with a crying man, but the truth is, there are two sexes and a bond between both of them is essential for mental health.I feel you, the reason I went looking for Christ was precisely because I was at my wits end. I'm sorry for my lack of advise, but I honestly believe that an orthodox priest is the only one that can give true advice.God be with youT. 29-yo KHV
>>84421919>I am Frankly Afraidthere, I fixed that for you
>>84420067As a formerly RuneScape addicted autist myself, I suggest you get him into Warhammer Fantasy ("The Old World") or 40k. Both are appealing to RuneScape autists because of the deep lore and "get out what you put in" of painting, you could help him paint and spend time with him, and when his doods are painted, he has access to a social hobby of likeminded autistic White neckbeards. It can be expensive though.>he seems to enjoy movementDoes he lift? Go to the gym with him, he won't have to talk to anybody but you.
>>84421629Have you tried actually confronting him about this fear you have of him killing himself? Why is it difficult to find a therapist? I think you should at least confront him about his low mood.>It was written in the stars and unlikely happening. A chance, basicallyCan you say more? Where did you meet? Does he even have friends?
>>84421919He have cried in front of me, before.>>84421941Painting? I don't think Warhammer will be appealing to him, as he doesn't like violence, war and all this shit. He doesn't lift, I think he would enjoy it, but he is more obsessed with the idea that it will make him look like a gymbro or something and make him stinky.>>84421954There are basically no therapists in this country, and each that exists has 3 months of waiting. It's is a long story, but basically I found him on 4chan,and he wasn't actually open to meeting new people, but when he saw my message he felt heavenly compelled and answer me anyway and turned out we lived like 2km apart.
>>84422563>There are basically no therapists in this countryWould you like to say which country? Did you confront him before?What kind of thread did you meet in and don't you think there's a chance he could see this? Not that it would be bad if he did.
