I had one girlfriend in my life. We broke up a couple of years ago. It was my fault it ended. Now she has been dating another guy for almost a year.I don't know how people can refer to "my ex" or "one of my exes" in such a casual way, as if they have fully moved on from them. I still think about her a lot, even though I was the one who let her go. I think I must be too weak for this world.
>>84437859>as if they have fully moved on from them>as ifIt's "as if". They truly moved on, unlike you.
>>84437866I know they have, I'm not doubting that. I'm just saying I don't think I'll ever just think or feel about her as "this one girl I dated" or whatever. Every time I check her social media and see some updated which suggests she's doing something fun with her new bf my body feels horrible.
It just means you deserve better, want better? Get better, this is the same involvement that intakes you for a bullshit relatationship, write all the shit you hate about a person and see if you really gave a fuck about who you used to be, because we're just changing.
It's so stupid that I should feel this way. Maybe it's jealousy or possessiveness or something.She gave me so many chances to rekindle things, and I just couldn't feel what I needed to feel to do that. I tell myself we were just two very different people, which is true, but still the fact she was so different to me wasn't always a bad thing.The worst thing is, if I could go back and have another chance to go ahead and be together again, I'm still not sure I would. What a fucked up feeling. She was a big part of my life, but she was way more experienced than me, and had been through breakups before. Maybe that's why she's just moving on and enjoying her new relationship.
>>84437896I didn't really hate anything about her, but there were things I remind myself were irritating and offputting to me.For example:>she rarely asked me anything about myself, my thoughts, opinions, past, interests. When towards the end of the relationship I said in quite an annoyed way "you never ask me anything about myself" (whiny and too direct, I know) she just crossed her arms and said "you said it again!" and was pissed off and expected me to apologise I think>she barely saved any money, spent a ton of money on cosmetic surgery and lied that she needed to have the surgery for health reasons, went into debt to buy a fancy car because she didn't want an "ugly" one (like mine), dismissed my concerns about house prices etc>some things about her past were pretty sketchy, for example having dated a drug dealer but later claiming she had no idea he was one and that it was just a rumour and that she only found out after they had split up, having some kind of affair with a married guy in her mid-20s and then claiming she had no idea he was married and broke it off when she found out (despite earlier saying she knew, and his wife knew, but she was in love)>telling me she never would have dated me ten years ago and laughing at the idea>being pretty aggressive and rude when things threatened to not go her way and raising her voice at me in some situations and then carrying on as if it was normalI had flaws too, probably more. Maybe I just miss being wanted. I felt pretty lonely around her a lot of the time, I don't know why. I did get the feeling that we weren't naturally each other's type, but sometimes I think I was naively assuming love was supposed to feel natural between two people who felt destined for one another.
>>84437984Yeah, sounds pretty sketchy. Sounds like you dodged a bullet to me. Can't blame you for feeling this way tho, I'm a bit sensitive with these sort of things and it would hurt me real bad losing my partner.>>telling me she never would have dated me ten years ago and laughing at the ideaOof, sorry anon. That one must've hit hard. One girl told me a similar thing once and... not cool
>imagine still feeling invested in womenyou'll quickly realize they're interchangeable. actually everyone is in this npc world.a live dog is better than a dead lion. move on.
>>84438609Yeah I try to tell myself the same, but then again her new boyfriend is chad-tier, has a great job, is wealthy, has a popular social media profile, etc, so she obviously is highly desirable and able to secure a top-tier mate. If she had to decide between me and him, 100% she would have dated him. She had this weird infatuation with tall guys, and he seems like her ideal man. Whatever.And yeah it sucked to hear that, but really it didn't surprise me, but thanks man. The more I think about it the more I realize we weren't exactly star-crossed lovers, although the sex was great and the chemistry in that respect was amazing. I was actually surprised by how confident I was having sex. Anyway. I don't think it would have worked out, but still I can't shake this low-level obsession I have with her. It's gotten way better since we parted ways for good (when that happened I didn't sleep for weeks, cried a ton, acted a little crazy at work), and hopefully I can just get over it entirely some day or even better meet someone else, although that's highly unlikely given my lifestyle.
>>84438639I don't think that's true, any more than any non-genius person is interchangeable. Maybe it's because I'm a faggot but meeting my ex really changed my life and outlook a lot. She taught me to be less fearful, more adventurous, more comfortable with sexuality, etc.
My oneitis fucking died and I haven't spent a single second in the years since thinking about anyone else. I can't even entertain the possibility. It's fucked. The way people casually date and fuck and dump and and move in and move out over and over again feels like alien behavior.
