My life is the same day over and over and over and overI get hit with reality again and again and it grinds away a little bit more idealism a little bit more optimism. I'm nothing, my ideas are nothing, you can eat my everything and you would starve. This world doesn't look right anymore, the ground we look at is all perfectly shaped dirt plots with grass grown over. Have you looked at the fucking trees???? They stretch grotesquely, their texture is morbid. They look like those firework snakes that start as a pellet and shit out into one ash log.All the things I thought were important don't mean anything to me anymore, I'm not sad I'm not happy I am just nothing. Typing out on this computer into this internet for other nervous systems to look at my digital thoughts. What am I doing here in this reality, in this existence? I've been looking at the materials in my dreams, I pick something up and stare into it and I see black static arranged into fractals then I am paralyzed and forced to wake upIts all so strange, for something to exist and constantly move like the universe is then something is moving it and its going somewhere. I am here now in my body, how? I have atoms, how? Its all so strange
>>84462223Yeah I've been there, give it time, you stop caringhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STugQ0X1NoI
okay and what are you doing to change that retard
>>84462290I like looking at early life. Imagining these little crab things skittering around on a world with no history gives me relief. Also nursing school.>>84462274I think I have begun to stop caring. Before, I would feel this immense anxiety like the walls were closing in. Now, I feel a bit numb to it all. I wish the world wasn't so painful and so many didn't have to suffer for nothing. The creator must be in a lot of pain
>>84462223>All the things I thought were important don't mean anything to me anymore, I'm not sad I'm not happy I am just nothing.When i think this it's always accompanied with a "shit wait" moment where i feel like I'm letting go of what i actually care about and the only things that help me exist not-painfully. Be careful please.
