The only irl friend i ever had is slowly abandoning meHow can i cope? Is pic rel truly the only answer?I can't really make any more friends
>>84512626what do you think is your main issue with making friends, and would you be fine making online friends
There are people out there who find keeping up with friendships and other bonds so stressful (with or without other mental conditions/disorders) they feel the need to step away from it all. Saying this just to illustrate what the human mind is capable of + how desire can affect our thinking.I once was abandoned by me best friend. This person actively did things to try and hurt me and sabotage our bond. It made me not want to give friendship a chance again now having felt how it could turn out. But I eventually realized a lot of it came down to a desire I had to cultivate in the first place. So what if I just abandoned that? After all we are not really born with the understand of friendship that was later develop. Letting go of desire for much less important things can be an unpleasant process as it is, so something as significant as companionship? Yet it is possible to reach a state where friendship becomes something you think of as "I can take it or leave it" and "if it happens it happens if not oh well". It's a process that takes time.Shifting our thoughts away from specific people, from getting close to others. Making our focus new hobbies and other joys in life. Enjoying the flexibility that comes with not having to spend time maintaining bonds, or spending money on outings. It's where I arrived at long ago with lasting joy instead of lasting bitterness.Think of when we fall ill or are physically injured: even if we do all the best things to heal we still have to endure the pain and process to reach a good, even better condition. So don't give up on life when there's so much out there to enjoy. I also put my time into learning new things: new series, hobbies, even finally doing investment research.And here's the thing: you are not signing a "I reject friendship" contract. You are a human who might still meet people in the future. There are people who would appreciate someone like you, but they haven't met you yet. It's fine to take a step back for now.
>>84512661I am too old and thus there are no good opportunities to meet people.>and would you be fine making online friendsOnline friends don't seem like enough honestly>>84512698I don't really enjoy anything. All my hobbies come from wanting to get closer to someone. I'm also afraid that if i do that, it'll never happen
>>84512729you are probably not too old but if you have 0 personality and your entire purpose in life is clinging onto random people to be your friend you are going to come off repulsively pathetic and desperate and everyone will avoid you. people despise vulnerability unless they want to prey on it. you could have a friend that way i guess but it will just be someone who hates your presence and is only using you for power, control, sex, or money. they might kill you at the end if youre really unluckyor you could search inside yourself to look past the obvious personality disorder down into your actual personality that i know you have and see where your interests lie and what you can pursue because you want to, not for anyone elses validation or companionship, and become content that way. this eradicates the neediness as you become competent, self assured, and interesting and people do flock to you, people who in fact want nothing from you other than to share your company in a pursuit you both enjoy. you might even find love that way. i would encourage you to not go into any sort of self actualization with the goal of love and friendship but that seems to be your primary motivator at the moment, so whatever works.im guessing from the way you phrased your op as abandonment you have bpd. do you have a pattern of intensity and outsourcing your emotional control to others in relationships, and do you oscillate between idealization and degradation whenever you feel slighted by them?
>>84512751>or you could search inside yourself to look past the obvious personality disorder down into your actual personality that i know you haveHow do you know this? What am I even supposed to do?>im guessing from the way you phrased your op as abandonment you have bpd. do you have a pattern of intensity and outsourcing your emotional control to others in relationships, and do you oscillate between idealization and degradation whenever you feel slighted by them?I'm not sure and i don't know what these terms mean
>>84512729do you perhaps live in some small tiny town in the midwest ? or would that mean things that you would feel comfortable doing to make friends, are you the archetype to latch onto one person and dedicate your life to them or are you who'll take anyone and no one has wondered into your life besides them
>>84512816I live in a small town in Europe>are you the archetype to latch onto one person and dedicate your life to them or are you who'll take anyone and no one has wondered into your life besides themIt really depends on the person
>>84512802oh so now you are doing the thing where you play dumb to get me to validate you by giving you praise about your personality, right? does it feel a bit disarming to be seen so clearly by someone? everyone can tell btw. online and off. you radiate it. i find it impossible to believe you have no idea what the word bpd means and are posting on /r9k/ in 2026 so you can either google it if you really dont or fuck off because this isnt your personal validation board and i dont care about the horrible trauma you dont have from manipulating everyone into staying with you and failing, forcing you to resort to anons on an imageboard instead. the idea you have no idea whether you have a personality is laughable. you are posting on 4chan, not instagram or tiktok. there, thats one aspect of a personality, a preference for edgy anonymous communication for your validation rather than putting your face to it.
>>84512729I'll be frank that learning to invest and do all that research and various financial tools was not fun, but the rewards are adding up and that is enjoyable. A lot of life is about doing the less pleasant setup for the joyous pay-off later. Maybe you're content with what you make for now, though, again part of picking up a new activity is to help take your mind off the gloomy thoughts of longing, so consider it more in the days ahead.>All my hobbies come from wanting to get closer to someoneWhat I didn't write before is that despite the devastation I felt from being abandoned, I would go on to interact with forums/servers based on my interests (in my case games, franchises, art, music, etc.). Over many months I interacted with people in the community on a weekly basis.Showed I could laugh at stuff I wouldn't do myself. Showed the ability to have fun and also be more mature and reasonable than many others. To me this was just continuing to act as I was raised... but it turned out people were taking note of me being there often and me being of good character (at least in their eyes).People reached out to me unexpectedly. At first maybe just because they thought I could offer a level-headed opinion on some art they made/had done. Some would eventually send me pictures of their other hobbies, possessions, outfits, etc. just opening up to me on their own and not because I asked. A long time later I started getting friend requests...So by putting myself out there weekly I gave people who do like the way I am the chance to find me and get to know me. I never expected to make a friend who said I had their implicit trust. I didn't even know such a weighty word existed. We should go to Japan someday and drink? I thought I came off as boring. Inviting me over to your place and to go hiking? A very bold and unexpected offer. So you never know who you'll meet if you give people the chance in the future and at a non-rushed, healthy pace.
>>84512834That is a logically inconsistent statement. You just said you have no one and can find no one.
>>84512834you are old enough not to be able to make friends but are internet literate enough to post bait threads with suicidal anime girls and live in a small town in europe but can find no opportunities to make acquaintances despite small towns in europe by definition being extremely close knit?
>>84512802>How do you know this? What am I even supposed to do?I think the purpose of self-actualization is to figure this out yourself, Anon. No one can tell you how to do so. No one can do it for you. It has to be you.
>>84512842I know what bpd is. I'm just not sure about the other terms you mentionedI don't manipualte anyone. If they reject me they reject me. I cry about it and get more depressed but i don't try to manipulate anyone into beinf friends with me, because what would be the point if it's not genuineAlso you're being very vague too>just find your personality broTf is that supposed to mean?
>>84512854Small European towns are pretty walkable too. Maybe they are avoiding OP for a reason? They must have a terrible reputation there to have no one to talk to. I wonder what it is they did..
>>84512865lmfao look at those fake little typographical errors. are you pretending to be so emotionally overwhelmed you are crying now and it interferes with your ability to type? i told you what to do. stop this manipulative pity bitch act and go write down a list of your core character traits. or google any steps to do this. you arent that worthless, right? if you are, try grok.
>>84512865And why are these people rejecting you OP? What is the common denominator here? It seems to be you.
>>84512834dependent on age demographics you might be able to become assimilate into whatever semi hobbiest / activity that town might hold, such as being a regular at a bar, eventually you'll meet other regulars and potentially become friends, also dependent on the person to become close to just become baseline friends, i mean if all fails just drink or drug your problems away, maybe your lsd trips will imagine yourself new friends
>>84512887maybe op can be the continental louis wain
>>84512626And why are they abandoning you? What did you do to make them leave?
>>84512854>>84512854>town in europe but can find no opportunities to make acquaintances despite small towns in europe by definition being extremely close knit?It's a town, not a village>>84512848Yes because they keep abandoning me>>84512862I don't know how...>>84512845I never picked up a hobby for myself. All i did was to get validation from others. I started drawing because of the friend i mentioned and now that they're leaving me behind i lost my motovation to draw. I don't even know how one would even pick up a hobby otherwise
>>84512892we need another sad european to make famous pieces for the chuddish art world
>>84512900Does this act normally work for you? Has it worked thus far? Is it working now?
>>84512900oh look you finally admitted to an aspect of yourself you were pretending you didnt have, you draw. talk about that.
>>84512883NoI am on my phone and i type fastIdiot>>84512884I know that. It's probably because i am unfun and boring>>84512896I am unfun and boring>>84512887No one goes to bars and such alone>drug your problems awayI would do that if i could
>>84512900When did you lose the motivation to draw?
>>84512900Nobody is abandoning you. You have a victim mentality and borderline personality disorder. You were probably abused growing up, yeah? At least neglected? Nobody loved you so you had no healthy models of behavior? That giant gaping hole of need has always been there and it repulsed peers when you were a child just as it does now, so you interpret any sort of boundary as betrayal and anyone taking space for themselves as abandonment?
>>84512914not very fast, you are taking a while to reply to posts while you loop through this script. do you think anyone here is buying that you are an innocent victim?
>>84512914>i am unfun and boringfirst honest thing youve said op
>>84512914Why should anyone be your friend if you are unfun and boring? What do you offer them?
>>84512901every eurofag WILL /drawfag/
>>84512900Has changing your personality - whoops sorry you have none - has manipulating your presentation given you the validation you so desperately seek?
>>84512926why should anyone even reply to op itt if they admit to being unfun and boring. the only shit that floats on 4chan is being fun and interesting
>>84512919Every single person who has said they were an innocent victim IS an innocent victim, Anonymous. Nobody would ever lie or seek attention by misrepresenting themselves on the Internet. This is a sacred place! A holy space.
>>84512914well it doesn't have to specifically be bars anon, the point is there will always be a common activity / gathering of people, also you can always get over the counter drugs or sperg out a lil in front of a doctor to get some>>84512928the eurofags demand another soul tribute for another cookiecutter museum piece !!!
>>84512914>Idiotgetting feisty now, are we?
>>84512909No it doesn't work>>84512912Not much to say as i'm not very passionate about that>>84512915Like april when my friend started becoming more distant>>84512918There is a difference between taking a space for yourself and straight up neglect>>84512919Sorry my hand is clumsy broI'll try harder next time>>84512926That is the question isn't it? This is why i say that i will never have any friends>>84512922What did I lie about?>>84512932No
>>84512951completely worthless reply. at least you are keeping the thread thematically coherent to your own self-worth.
>>84512900>I don't even know how one would even pick up a hobbyYou just pick one that looks interesting OR seems like it would have practical value and give it a fair chance. For instance, I know people who do still draw when they have time but also tried learning guitar yet it still sits unused for years now. So you won't necessarily click with everything, but give stuff a chance long enough to actually feel like you made progress learning it beyond the very basics. But since you have a history with drawing, you might join an art-focused server, or a server for some fictional IP you like, which might have a fan art section to participate in.But there are also servers that are just for hanging out and talking with people too. Back to other stuff you could learn: I know a guy who streams games for 4 hours almost every day of the week, yet in the past year he started learning to grow things and now produces so much he shares it with people he knows since he can't use it all.Unfortunately we don't always realize we'll enjoy something by just reading about it. Sometimes we have to try it and gain a level of competency for it to really start to click. In some ways it's similar to how we have to take time to get to know people to see just how well we get along.
>>84512951Do you jerk off to each (You) you get? Does it make you feel good about yourself that someone is paying attention to you in the way no one else ever has?
>>84512961can i jerk you off anon while both of us jerk off the (You) demons
>>84512964Only if I can jerk (You) off to completion on my chest first, baby. Or my mouth, your choice. Not that picky.
>>84512942Yeah but those are for normal niggers>>84512957>>84512961Are you gonna offer anything of substance? Or are you here to just bully me?>>84512959Right now i'm looking to buy a tablet for drawing. Ig i could give it another go once i get it. But i'm not sure i can because never in my life have i been passionate about anything other than people.
>>84512979oh i am here to see how far your victim act is going to take you when you realize someone isnt playing along and what actually happens when you are forced to act outside of this pathetic larp. since you now call it bullying i see youre still at it. you probably never take responsibility for anything and are the victim of cruel bullies who abandon and ostracize you for no reason in every interaction, huh? :)
>>84512979is that what you mean dependent on the person, they can't be a normie, i mean me too anon fuck normgroids but i supplement my loneliness with other anons online, highly recommend, well shit maybe you can get an occultist schizposting /x/ user in the lands of rural europa>>84512974but what if (You) take too long to finish, and the (You) demons get jealous and completion, to solve this dilemma how about we can do a (You) cross jerk pentagram
>>84512979You are a normal nigger.
>>84512992Well well well, someone well versed in sex magicks! Did you remember to retain your semen today to offer it to your succubus Lilith and/or tulpa Ishtar later tonight?
>>84512979>pls no bulli ;~;kek where are (you) rn
>>84512979I wouldnt call obsessing over what other people think of me being passionate about people but you do you anon. What do you draw?
>>84512999they told me i was banned from interacting with them because i sperged out and kept calling them extra loose foids :(
>>84512992are we not doing the human centipede circlejerk to kill the demiurge anymore
>>84513011Well, to be fair, it is Lilith and Ishtar. Not like you were wrong. Maybe the Whore of Babylon would be more receptive next time? I hear she really likes that Satanic Feminism shit.
>>84512992aint no /x/ schizoposters in europe anon thats an american pafology
You guys are being kinda mean ganging up on OP. She only wanted a little bit of attention. We all want attention sometimes, its human nature. Just because she pretended to be suicidal doesnt make her a bad person.
>>84513027pretending to be suicidal for attention is the definition of being a bad person
>>84513015the faggotry doesn't even make them happy anymore so they'd just send me to the metaphorical timeout corner called life without any form of escapism besides old image boards>>84513019do i need to pull a normgroid normfag peformative male and read feminist literature and buy shittily overpriced vinyl records that they don't even have a player for whilst reposting braindead takes on normgroid social media, or will that just put me in an even worse position >>84513021would make sense that /x/ schizposting / activities would be gentrified and colonised by normies for the fashion / quirkyness
>>84512979>passionate about anything other than peopleLike I said before there are discord servers that are just for talking with people, rather than being for specific things like music, food, fiction, etc. I know there are many accounts of bad experiences on that site/app but just like the news the bad stories often get the most attention. I've mainly had good experiences getting to know people over time and ending up seeing people think better of me than I do of myself.I do wonder what you'll talk to others about, but considering your history of having friends at all I guess you take great interest in what other people bring up, in what they like and wish to speak about. I've had many friendships with talkative people who kept bringing up new topics and I just enjoyed engaging with them fully, or they appreciated that I kept talking to them even though when they asked what I was doing I said I was gaming or watching a video.So in some ways it seems like the only thing left to do is to keep putting yourself out there on a weekly basis and give yourself and others the chance to connect. I've experienced those long, long periods where I get along with people but we're not actually friends. Then I'm surprised one day by the friend request showing up. It can only happen if you keep putting yourself out there. I wish you all the best.
>>84512991So everything i do and say is somehow an act to you?>>84512992I would post and inteeact more on x too, but that requires a lot of reading, which is something i don't really have the energy for>>84513027I'm a manAnd i am suicidalTried kms twice already>>84513001Some OCs, some niche map game stuff and 2hus mostly>>84512993How so?>>84513034I just wish i could find connections irl
>>84512626shouldn't a proper noose tighten up around the neck with weight?
>>84513061well the seventy five seas of 4chan will certainly get you something of your taste such as /po/ /ic/ and /i/, maybe off of that you could make friends my dear anon, such as social clubs filled to the brim of geriatric chuds and or youngling adults
>>84513061Yeah I dont buy youre a man at all. This is foid behavior.
>>84513061>no energy even for readinggoddamn bitch can you do literally anything
>>84513118A foid wouldn't be struggling with relationships>>84513084But they all live so far away...>>84513123My brain is pretty shit. I struggle with most tasks that require concentration
>>84513061>I just wish i could find connections irlI saw some of those posts about the bar before. Even I have gone to a pub just because I wanted to try some of the menu. But when it comes to meeting people, it really can be like work/school: at first you know no one but your or someone else strikes up a conversation. You put in the time and put yourself out there, since yeah even if you meet great friends online they may not live nearby. I have actually become a lot more interested in beer lately after getting a recommendation from one of those friends I never expected to make online. This lead to me researching the drink, enjoying watching some reviews on it, reading up on its history that spans many decades. I often enjoy watching the beer rating videos on https://www.youtube.com/@BeerBrackets since they often bring up the history.A year ago I was not very interested in trying new beverages, not that I had anything against them. But I took a chance and found the beer world and even others types of drink and their history quite interesting. These are recent developments for me and no I am not a drunkard. I drink for taste, not for buzz. Why would I drink something if I didn't think it'd be tasty, right? Anyway, because I've been learning about this and history, I can talk to people about it, and many people take great interest in alcohol, its traditions, even the difference in taste between being served from the tap, a bottle, a can.You mentioned taking interest in stuff as a way of connecting with people, so take your time and consider this path. For me it was beer. You might find another style of drink more interesting. You might even get into mixing drinks, which can be used to entertain people IRL (responsibly). So give it some real thought this weekend and dip your toes in. And remember: there are many great, but shy/hesitant people out there. This is why it's good for us to be the ones to take initiative. Someone has to.
>>84513033Lucifer as the liberator, Anon. But I appreciate your specificity. Personally all of my feminist literature and vinyl records are next to my collection of poisons, Cyclonopedia, Fanged Noumena, CCRU anthologies, Morbid Anatomy Museum compendiums, Thacker and Fisher specifically on Hauntology, the Horror of Philosophy and Philosophy of Horror, and the Weird and the Eerie, and all those collections of global folktales and comparative religion. Campbell, Eliade, and Jung (and von Franz) included, of course, along with Graves and Franzer. And the big wooden record player. You would be surprised just how lovingly sleazy some modern music sounds on a fresh pressing. Timber Timbre, Dead Mans Bones, and Cigarettes After Sex are wonderful for perusal, and M3LL155X and When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? are positively demonic.
>>84513151you sure sound like a broken robot
>>84513011>>84513033you remind me of someone. why do i want to kiss you right now, anon?
>>84512661Not OP but I am a cynical opinionated asshole with interests too weird for rightists and opinions that are too opposite of leftists
>>84513151i mean hey, online friendships aren't the worst anon i'll assure you that friend, the world's just primarily escapism anyway so it's not much of a sin to partake in some of it>>84513183nice collection anon, side note how much did all of that cost, and how do you store all the records, not that i'm actually going to get any records, i am poorfag >>84513211b-buh isn't that homosexual anon !!! i don't wanna loose my kissginity to an unproven ritualistic chud !!!>>84513233curious but what interests are they, surely they're not that bad especially in the sphere of /r9k/
>>84513260I'm into like the geek and cosplay stuff and mild BDSM which is not big among the rightist crowd. This stuff is more tolerated by the leftist crowd but I'm not a brain rotted pronoun person with TDS so they'd never accept me.
>>84513260Not as much as you would think but I have way more stuff than that which has been a chunk of change. Accumulated over about 11 years thus far though. My library has been under construction (meaning I keep reorganizing everything) for like six months now so the records are currently stored in a stack on the floor. Much like most of the books. And the video games. And the non-Criterion films, I did bother to put those in a dedicated shelf setup. Also records are really cheap much like used books depending on what it is you like. All my jazz and blues records are very cheap. Antique stores are fantastic for this, and I get most of my books used online for <$6 each when new they would be $80 or up (academic texts mostly). Dvds and games tend to be scattered around places. I just got a dvd of The Boondocks Saints for 25 cents and a blu-ray of Drive for 30 at a flea market.
>>84513187Maybe i am one >>84513182Idk about alcohol. It's not something i particulary enjoy. When i drink i mostly drink the sweet stuff>>84513260I had online friends that i loved very much too but now that i had experienced some sort of irl friendship these don't feel as genuine
>>84513280honestly it isnt particularly difficult to find hobby groups centered on those that are apolitical, or it used to be. maybe trump has ruined that since all my own groups seemed to implode around 2018-2019, always over opinions on trans people for some reason
>>84513260oh anon, being homosexual is part of the appeal~ besides, i saved my kissginity for him for five years. handginity too! even hugs.
>>84513280oh what are you cosplaying anon, that's actually pretty cool, it doesn't seem that bad to be honest, to be fair the leftist crowd love preaching acceptance of difference and then when they see someone actually different socially they uh, yea they then go to preaching how superior they are because you don't want to go outside nor spend thousands to travel the world when it doesn't interest you, though that might be mistaken for normiecels preaching superiority>>84513613seems like you've had quite a journey with it all anon, do you like try and go for a common theming with your library, like a more rustic feeling or more towards esk dark academia or 1500s esk spire, weird about the records since usually i end up seeing them get scalepd down here or well maybe specific to my area, really anything quote on quote vintage gets hit with ebay market price of +100, how often do you use the records if any at all and do like spending time in there, like do you put on a record and read or do rituals or do you just like chilling there like an office in a way, just a lil more on the occultish side >>84513616what's the difference between online and irl friendships, is it the ability to do things together or be able to see their face or mannerisms, i mean me personally i have only 1 friend irl from primary school and we only interact online with the rare exception prepped in the future of seeing the digital circus movie since i'm scared to go alone and don't want to get viciously mauled by pretentious teenagers>>84513621you can't lure me into your honeytrap fed !! homosexuals aren't real !! they're only myths created by the lizard class to increase esterogen sales !!
>>84513673That's the thing I've never been to any kind of convention because the online space makes it seem like those far left people took it over
>>84513706whatever creative media is automatically claimed by them after all, *creative_media_character* wouldn't support this !!! therefore i have portrayed myself with the valid argument and you as a transgressor against this piece of media that i have claimed !!! though what would you cosplay if you could anon
>>84513616>sweet stuffDrambuie is one that instantly comes to mind. Many people prefer stuff on the sweeter side and as a result brewers have made sweet drinks in many alcohol styles. Anyway, I hope you find a healthy way to connect with people, whether it's something that was recommended here or something you'll discover later.
>>84513772Just any character I like or original characters
you fucking multi reply niggers, it's impossible to follow a thread this way
>>84513673when i went to see a movie with my irl friend i was really gladseeing her smile, clearly enjoying her time with me made me really happyshame she hates me now for whatever reason>>84513783honestly, i'm losing hope
you can't copycat your way into friendships. i know imitation is the best form of flattery but some might find it off putting. you have to find your own interests and passions and go from therei personally recommend some sort of team sport. you have to work with other's so naturally you will eventually form friendships as long as you're friendly and try your best. and if they invite you our after the game, go with them. but if sports really really aren't your thing, just get into anything that requires you to go outside and be around others. drawing, video games, you'll be cooped up inside. you could make friendships with hobbies like that sure, but chances are that the guy who loves playing video games won't want to go out anywhere if you're still attending college, sign up for any clubs that seem interesting to you when the new semester rolls around. if that's available to you where you study. although i would say find out what clubs are out there now, so you're not on the spot later. the key is to do things you like when doing this, so even if you lose a friend somewhere along the way, it won't hit you so hard. having passion in something will naturally attract people to you, at least that's what i have found. i hope im making sensei find it funny that people were nicer when you were posting alice haha. even though anons were harsh in this thread, there's some good advice amongst the sludge. you have put in effort to get the things you want. "i can't do that so that's that" is not a good philosophy to follow if you're trying to grow. im not saying you don't put in effort now by the way, im saying you have to keep trying and try different things out when what you're stuck. i think im starting to run out of advice to give you haha so i hope you take some of the things ive told you the last few days into consideration. i believe in you but you have to believe in yourself tooand to answer your op question, no that's not the answer. be kind to yourself
>>84514541I lost hope once. So much so that I was not in the mood to make friends. Healing takes time and when the wounds are fresh the pain makes it harder to think. We all wish we could will away our pain on command but it doesn't work that way. But much later on when the pain fades it becomes easier to think and apply new ideas, or simply feel like interacting with new people and seeing where it goes. So give yourself that time to heal for now. The question "How can I live without them?" well it took a long time for me not just to see but to actually FEEL like I could.
easily the most pathetic poster on this board so far
>>84516750par for the course here honestly
