why am i not okay with being alone if im ever alone i want to kill myself so why do so many people get to enjoy being alone?
I'm going to be honest, you seem pretty lost in the echoing chamber of social media addiction.You speak to an empty audience.You're not going to get any better like this.Shut down the computer and let yourself be bored.Use that as an ambition to actually do something with your life.No one here said anything that changes things from what I'm seeing.
>>84569522is r9k a social mediabeing bored doesnt help at allive only been spamming here for 3ish years, soon enough i'll find an FP on here and my life will be fixed. the only thing that has ever helped is an FP. I need an FP. I need an FP.
>>845695613 years...Are you insane?I don't even know what to say to that...Of course r9k is a social media. It's addictive because of the thread format. You want to keep digging until you get something you'd want.It has stupid cross posts going on. It's basically the same quality at this point.You'd genuinely have an easier time on Twitter than this place judging by that.Who knows if you're lying though?
>>84569597lying about what :? iduno how to use twitter and im too shy... if steam friend threads were still popular on /v/ id have an FP in no time. tho i guess spamming those for the past liek 10 years didnt get me anywhere. maybe ur right maybe i should give up and kill myself. can you please tell me how to gain the courage to do that?
>>84569631I mean, Discord is genuinely a decent way to do this sort of thing I guess. It's like a hive of mental illness. Way easier to learn than Twitter too.Just go on Disboard for server invites, or make a server invite thread on here with your own server. Some people even post server invites here anyway. I dunno.Why not change your method anyway? Seems like you weren't getting results at all, both in making you quit and possibly getting closer to your goal. Maybe you gotta reason a little better instead of going autistic one track mode.
>>84569705um can u just tell me how to kill myself pleasei want to kill myself too much every single day to interact with anything new. it makes me want die seeing discord servers full of people that have any interests or personality or ability to speak to other human beings. when i try everynyan hates me and even if somehow another human being on the internet liked me theyd be disgusted to learn im an old man who is 27 years old about to die from old age. even when i was young all i got was abandoned and replaced and ghosted because im not lovable. please tell me how to kill myself. please say words that will finally convince me to kill myself. im worthless.
>>84569522you seem like a good person. that's quite uncommon on this board. at the same time, there are some people that don't want to be fixed and don't really care. sometimes it is better to let go.
>>84569787You've gone through a lot, haven't you.Well, if you're all sad like that, of course you can't think straight.It's just a harder sell the more depressed you become.I can understand how it's a downward spiral.Still, I want you to at least give it a shot. You're living now and you should change things up if you want something new.Go out of your comfort zone and let it rip.
>>84569804Eh. I mean, it's tiring seeing the same post every day though.It's selfish too.
>>84569849the post is here everyday because he's looking for a boyfriend. he won't kill himself, he won't try to improve. he just want a person at his disposal whenever he feels like screeching, until that person is completely drained. i understand how you feel, i tried talking to this person too. do you remember the dylanposter? this person is kind of the same gimmick
>>84569864Well yeah, I'm just giving him better ways for that. There are people above his age on Discord.I honestly think he should probably turn off the computer but if he needs it so much then he should try to stick to friends.He did say he isn't gay though, even if he had a boyfriend before. I dunno what goes on through this guy's head.
>>84569887he should, i agree, but he is desperately clinging to the chance of finding another obsessive relationship. he said he is not gay, but he probably is. or he is not looking for a boyfriend, but just any person at this point.and yeah, i am one of those people actually lol
>>84569906Cool to hear. I guess it truly did sort of replace IRC chats then.It's convenient, even if more locked down. I guess that's how they get you since the start of the internet though.
>>84569864um but i spoke to dylanposter recently and she literally got a in real life boyfriend that was with her all always everyday and loved her for a few whole years so if i'm anything like dylanposter that means i should just keep doing what im doing and i will be saved
>>84569951What, so you want rot in your own shit for another 3 years? This board's just going to get worse over time until it dies one day...After 3 years, do you not think you should stop being a lolcow and get your shit together?I get people are creatures of habit, but you could probably find a better habit if you tried, right?You're kind of obsessed with the past...If you're going to do this, at least get with the times and live in the present or whatever...You don't have to do this, man. I'd consider the other loser a failure for taking so long doing the same thing over and over again anyway. Who would even consider that a reliable method?You can still post here, but at least explore other avenues while you do it. Damn.
>>84569937well, it kind of did.... i actually jumped from irc to discord during its early days, it was very cool and convenient compared to teamspeak tooits sad zoomers used it for grooming and things like that
>>84569134>why do so many people get to enjoy being alone?When we're alone we aren't stuck with someone intolerable.
>>84570020It was actually decent from 2015-2020. Good for gaming. Then since 2020, more groomers found it and abused it, and original groomers already planted seeds to make more groomers. It's not that zoomers wanted to use it for grooming, it's that they got groomed into becoming groomers with shitty urges to do bad things, like usual on the internet. That's how I see it.A lot of generation Z are fighting back against it too. It just depends on the person, as with any generation.It kind of sucks this happened, honestly. It was a decent gaming chat app.
>>84570019i dont know howi cantthese are the only thoughts my brain ever comes up with anymore so please give me a tutorial on how to kill myself please>>84570027please tell me how to not be intolerablei always try to be pleasant and say "i love you" a few times an hour>>84570020i miss being groomed in steam chat
>>84570045yes, it was. it actually saved the pandemic days too. i think zoomers wanted to use it for grooming, because making a discord account is relatively easy, there is no need for verification and you can just get away with having several accounts with throw away emails, discord should have set a more rigid verification system from the start imoas always, the app is decent, its userbase is disgusting
>>84570057You have BPD. That means you want other people to do things you should be doing for yourself.That's why you're like this. Does that make sense?You have to fight back against that and get some proper help. I'm sorry that you're like this.If you don't try to control it, you're not going to be freed from this cage you're in. I get it.Go to a doctor and ask for symptoms and help on how to manage them. Just ask for a guide or something, medication would cost a lot and might not even work. Better to try the guide first.>>84570059Maybe fucked up older zoomers who were groomed by millennials. It's a cycle anyway, generations don't matter. Generation alpha would be next.>>84570057>groomed in Steam chatYou must've been ignored a lot by your parents if that's what you miss, jeez. I don't think you could even make that up as a bit.Sorry to hear that. I don't think wounds like that should be expected to heal just because you get a relationship. I'm sure you know that deep inside, even if you're unable to think of anything else.It's okay to just let go of your past thoughts if you're too entangled to move without changing yourself drastically. At that point, you've become a shadow of your former self anyway, unfortunately.Become someone who can tackle his own problems, Anon. Don't let your illness and bad experiences define your actions. Just take your time and turn around when you can.
>>84570128im american we dont have doctors here, or i think we do but you have to have 100k to spoke to them and the nearest hospital is rly far away and i dont have a car so i can please just give me the guide on how to fix myself idk why everynyan in the world is gatekeeping it from meoh if the guide is just "eat fish and get sunlight and exercise and everything will be okay" i dont want it because that doesnt workbeing used as a sex object is the only way i've ever had other humans care about me. the only problem i have to tackle is feeling nothing but dread for my existence every day and the only cure i've ever known is an internet boyfriend. nothing else makes me feel anything.
>>84570184>give me the guideThe guide is able to be looked up online using Google, I guess. There's multiple sources. Just look up "Borderline personality disorder symptoms" online. You could probably start to piece together things from there, like how you go to an extreme instead of seeing the shades. It's all black and white.By guide, I mean a guide on what you are struggling against, what the symptoms are and how you differ from normal. Once you know what you are facing mentally, that can help with at least some management because you're able to compartmentalize it. You can explain it in your head and to other people. You can look back at past experiences and learn from them properly. Don't fall into the trap of using it as a crutch to justify shitty behavior that isn't wanted though.>gatekeepingNo, people just don't understand you and think you're baiting.Maybe you are, I can't tell either but I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt.>being used as a sex object is the only way i've ever had other humans care about meI'd suspect this to be some amount of black and white thinking. I mean, I'd consider what I'm doing right now some amount of care. Plus that other Anon was trying to care too. What the real issue is, is that you can't control yourself so well. That's okay, since you don't get what your problem is.There is an element of worry here though. I don't know what kind of trauma you went through but I guess that's part of what you're saying too.>nothing else makes me feel anythingThat's probably depression, because you think you need someone else to solve every problem you have. You have this ideal of a knight in shining armor who will change you into someone who isn't depressed. You will lean on him uncontrollably, thinking it's enough to say you'll change to fit him.I'm just saying all of this from my experience with BPD people before, but I think this is it.You should really care for yourself. That's only way you'll truly grow and heal.
>>84570262i dont understnyandi give updont waste time on me, my life is overeven before i completely gave up and gave 100% effort into things i never produced anything worth of value. nothing of any artistic merit, nothing that would make anynyan care about my existence, nothing that would please god. that's why people dont like me, because i am just bad. even if i understnyanded the guide on how to not want to kill myself constantly the best case scenario would be living out the last couple of decades i have, somehow content with being alive but still in complete solitude, adding nothing to anything and only dragging the world down by continuing to exist. even if not being suicidal everyday meant id have the strength to not reject god with every decision i make, thats just means i have to exist forever in heaven after i die instead of existing in hell forever and i dont care it means nothing to me. im not sure BPD monsters have a soul. every second of my existence is torture, i am delusional for continuing to believe that god is good. im going to go hit my head against the dirt outside in hopes of changing how my brain works.
>>84570419Just take your time with understanding everything. You don't need to get it in a day. All of this is a lot at once.Just because you're 27, it doesn't mean you can't turn your life around once you've finally gained back some amount of control over your mind.Getting control over your mind again and having some amount of independence would probably reinvigorate your life, even.It will probably be messy, yeah, but when isn't life messy?Kinda hard to make it like the ideals you see in media, right?Take it easy and don't overdo yourself. Life isn't a race. Hitting your head won't change anything. It'll just make it worse.It's okay. You have a future. You're living in it.
>>84570465WHAT FUTURE?? FUTURE FILLED WITH WHAT?? WHY?? WHY DO YOU LIVE EVERY DAY ? WHY DONT YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF?also all that hitting my head on the dirt actually cleared a spot for me to plant the basil seeds i bought, i wonder if it will grow
I hate being cursed with the favourite person thing, too. it becomes really stressful when adult relationships often tend to wax and wane outside of committed romantic relationships. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong when I'm not giving them attention or getting attention from them.
>>84570644>WHY DO YOU LIVE EVERYDAY?No reason.>FUTURE FILLED WITH WHAT?Whatever you're doing right now.Will you set things up for the future? Maybe I should've said the past is now, but that's a bit dumb.>i wonder if it will growFuck around and find out.Hope I've given you a new perspective on things anyway, OP.Hope to see you coming up with inventive new ways to shitpost on here in the future.>futureI guess that's the future too.Long term planning, short term holidays.
