Ever since i was a kid i was always picked on and bullied. There has literally never in my life been a group i was a part of where i wasn't the butt of jokes, mocked and teased for seemingly no reason.It doesn't matter if i am better than the people in the group, like if in my orchestra i was the best musician there, or in martial arts gyms if i was the strongest guy there, or if i was the best programmer at work. I always get made light of and mocked in banter.Like today at work i was talking to colleagues at lunch and we were talking about school stories. i told them a story that happened when i was at a national competition with my teacher blah blah. Anyway they asked me afterwards "why did your teacher have your phone number?" (because they are responsible for their students during competitions duh) and another guy said "that was the only time a woman ever asked for your phone number" and everyone laughed at me.I felt terrible to the point I'm making this thread now hours after the fact.Or my ""friend"" group at uni, there are a few girls (all taken already) in it. And they were talking about some relationship stuff and one of the guys complained about his girlfriend and one of the girls unpromted turned to me and said "oh dont worry you wont have these problems since you wont get a girlfriend". After that i went into a depressive spiral for like a week, and i feel another one is coming on now.I am nothing but nice to all these people, i help them, i am supportive to them in their times of need. I never ask anything in return. Why do they hurt me so?
Maybe it's because they're worthless bags of shit.
>>84602697these people aren't your friends. they don't respect you. they're punching down on you because they don't respect you and you stick around anyways which inadvertently perpetuates it. start going to the gym start valuing yourself, be reserved but not isolated.
>>84602717but they obviously are not bags of shit, because they jave significant others and strong social groups, meanwhile i am the rootless drifter whom everyone keeps at arms length>>84602724i didn't write this in the original post because it would have gotten too long, but i have already spent the time making myself more imposing. i understood why i got bullied in middle school and early high school, becauss i was a lanky skeleton. but now I've been going to the gym and doing martial arts for years, i am 193cm rall, 93 kilograms, muscular, i would say i look imposing. but because i am very enthusiastic and never angry or annoyed and always try to look on the bright side of things, people assume i am weak and spineless.and because i don't see the point of antagonizing people who don't want me around and bully me, i usually just leave those groups. but i have ossues with groups like this, at my job, or hobbies that i love, or at uni. i can't avoid these people because i interact with them daily.i am physcially capable of ripping off the heads of the guys and girls who bully me but because they know i am not an aggressive person they can push me around. but i cannot bring myself to be aggressive and antagonistic.every time i get belittled by a new group of people that i thought would accept me i feel like a part of me dies. i want to have a group of people i can trust and who appreciate me. even my mother does not acknowledge me and constantly belittles me, like when one of the concerts i played in was broadcast on tv, the first thing she said when she called me afterwards was "why weren't you smiling when the camera was showing you". i told her that we are not supposed to smile or look at the cameras, then she started lecturing me on how i was wrong and she saw a different show where people were smiling at the camera and i never listen to her and i hate her and I'm a terrible son and she hung up on me
>>84602697maybe its because you have autism and unattractive, thats usually the case...
>>84602763*and also unattractive
>>84602758>because they jave significant others and strong social groupsMeans absolutely nothing.
>>84602697My female classmates in college also had a problem with me despite us barely talking to each other. And when we did, they'd be passive aggressive. They also scraped my grade a bit by scoring me lower on peer surveys during our groupwork even though all male group members rated me highly. Dunno if it's the zeitgeist or their slop diets or what. Or maybe I'm just ugleh...
You are bottom of the totem pole in your group, the whipping boy. We had one his name was Tim. We'd just ruthlessly bully that nigger. You need to get the fuck away from these people op.
>>84602763you're a retard.>>84602758since you can't completely avoid them at the very least detach from them in the sense that you don't project the vibe that you need them for socialization. i don't know your situation but if it has persisted for a long time it's too late because people don't change their assessments of others quickly. just detach and feel the mental clarity, they only want to bring you down.
>>84602811no your the retard, retard
>>84602758i am in the exact same position and have the same behaviiur as you, i just rarely antagonize people and try do do my own thing. People are just so rude. Are you autistic by any chance? Maybe try to make them feel bad, ask them why they think its okay to talk to you like that, yoj are already insecure enough and they just add salt to the wounds. Try to keep that as esrnest and straight as possible. And if they really are just normies doing some lighthearted ribbin, then they should cool it down after that, if not then they are genuienly assholes and you can dish out. but have you ever voiced your discomfort?
>>84602814https://www.youtube.com/shorts/piY7aEjcAw4
>>84602763i don't have autism and i would say i am obviously unattractive because ive never had a girl be interested in me, although i would say i look normal. im lean, have clear skin, all my hair, and dress well. but also, all the guys who bully me i would say are uglier than me, shorter, fat, and the guy from work for example has rotting teeth and is very fat. >>84602811i will try, but my main issue is why this keeps happening. like ive been at this new job for 8-9 months now. for the first few months everyone was alright, but then slowly they started lightly bullying me, like making jokes about how i was gay, or a virgin and stuff like that. And it was completely out of the blue, which makes it so shocking.
>>84602816horrible advice because you can't force anybody to sympathize or feel bad for you. cognitive dissonance allows them to protect their ego while remaining a piece of shit and that's exactly what will happen. they wouldn't even care if he told them he didn't appreciate it.
>>84602836thats weird, maybe these subhumans are jealous of you and need somebody to put down.
>>84602816yes i always ask them not to laugh about me being a virgin or having no girlfriend because it is a sensitive topic but the response is always "ah its just a joke man".I am not autistic in the slightest, i am more extroverted than most people. im fact multiple times it jas happened that i bring a group of people together, introduce them, then over time become the butt of their jokes and sidelined, not invited to hangouts etc. the university group is an example of that one
>>84602697you have a wrong model of humans(ie normies). voluntary conversations to normies aren't ever really about the topicfor males it's to establish/check/affirm coalition norm and negotiate within coalition rank. in that context you voluntarily gave out information that actively lowers your rank position which from their prospective is playing the whole game completely wrong, a silly thing to do, so they laughed. human males only share such details to coalition member they deem are lower rank from them if they want. This was not intentional/targetted bullying, it was just highlighted in brain at the time and they were reacting naturally. Males only bully intentionally outside coalition members in non-mixed gender context.Coalition arrangements are outcome contribution based for females, so would be careful to not apply the same reasoning in mixed/female majority group. Only female coalitions are known to participate in targeted within coalition corrective bullying.
>>84602697>"that was the only time a woman ever asked for your phone number"that can be playful joke of someone that thinks you're friends
>>84602843yea but you dont have to be chill with bad people. And some people are just socialized different and dont even have the intention of hurting you. >>84602851maybe you just dont click with them, tell them to either pay you a whore or to shut up about it
>>84602697Most likely you are the only white guy hanging around in groups of brown people and lack any form of racial awareness.
>>84602848i also thought of this but i dont understand why they would be jealous if i make an effort to always be humble, and i always make sure to downplay my achievements and share the "glory" with others. like when my boss commended me for a well implemented feature, i said "everyone helped me, thank so and so for helping me with x y z as well". >>84602852so you are saying they like me and I'm misinterpreting it?>>84602867it seemed malicious, since he keeps doing jokes like me being a virgin or a loser or having no friends.>>84602873no, i am in an all white country, there are no non whites here. ive seen maybe 10 black people total in my life, during holidays
>>84602836any time somebody has thrown bait my way after i got my shit together i've played with the joke in a way that doesn't compromise my own status. i rely on feeling the room and it dictates how i respond but that just comes from social awareness and being very perceptive. if the first time they called you gay you just said "yeah bro i'm gay" in a detached tone, it would basically just nullify the entire conversation. eye contact is also very strong, if you play banter and can make the other person feel uncomfortable you've socially dominated them. just don't say anything legitimately terrible or what could get you in trouble or be seen as weird by the group.
>>84602920well i do play along, but these things always lead to me getting sidelined and rejected by the group eventually. in high school when it happened for the first time i thought "haha these guys are just bantering with me" until one summer they all went to the seaside together to one of the guys' parents' apartments, without me, while all simultaneously ghosting me for those 2 weeks. after i found out i was fucking devastated. they brought along guys they had talked to once or twice at most, but they didnt even tell me, who spent every day with them "hey mean we're going to the seaside for two weeks, see you later".
>>84602884which nation are you from anon?
>>84602884guys stay together if there's shared activity around which they come together where they don't expect to be betrayed or have use to each other functionally. the minimum requirement is not hating or wanting to beat up. idk if they like you. it was functional bullying, just likely not intentional active targeted
