I'm currently doing the absolute worst OCD compulsion I've possibly ever done, fml fml fml.
>>84799464Have your tried not having a fucked up prefrontal cortex?
yeah im doing something similiar
>>84799464Stop vagueposting you fucking retard and tell us what it is.
>>84799491It's embarrassing but I have this weird OCD obsession of... "disobeying" the YouTuber Ruben Sim? I watch his videos and follow his tweets to make sure I don't do anything he'd disapprove of. Anyways I'm currently watching a 4 hour stream he did to make sure he doesn't disapprove of anything I like. I panicked when he mentioned Sonic cause I like Sonic but apparently he's pro Sonic so that's good.I was supposed to hang out with a friend on the phone but I cancelled it for this.
>>84799489What are you doing if you dont mind me asking?
I feel like Im gonna vomit Im so anxious watching this
Its actually 5 hours long mbOne hour in
>>84799464>>84799528You still here OP? I'm really sorry to hear about that. I have OCD and it's hell. Have you tried seeking professional help? Medication can work wonders.
>>84800077I could get help but I almost don't wanna, I'm scared if I get help I'm gonna do something bad yknow what I mean? Like I'm scared if I get help then I'll become like I dunno desensitizedI feel like I've learned some valuable stuff from doing these compulsions. If that makes any sense. If it weren't for Ruben Sim I would've become a furry. Which is apparently bad
>>84799464>>84799528Have you been officially diagnosed?
>>84800133Nothing on paper but psychiatrists have said I most likely have it also just friends have said stuff like ya this isnt normal this is probably OCD
>>84799464Reminds me of when I was younger I was obsessed with the idea of blasphemy against the holy spirit, and how I felt that I would go to hell if I didn't fight every single intrusive thought
>>84800198Holy shit same! Small world
>>84800198this was a big one for me too. im not christian anymore but ive noticed a lot of people with OCD are, so i wonder if it can play a part in manifesting these sorts of thought processes.
>>84799528>>84800110sorry anon. i went through something nearly identical to you if thats any consolation. i dont know if i actually escaped it or not but i simply stopped caring as much. i know that crowd would make all sorts of heinous accusations and assumptions towards me based on how i act, what i like etc but i try to at least not let it get in the way of enjoying stuff, even if i still hate myself for liking it
>>84800883for clarification i used to obsessively police my own actions 24/7 and would "blacklist" myself from liking/doing something if those sorts of people decided it was something that only X group of people did
>>84800883>>84800896It does help to see someone understands. Currently only got 20 minutes left on the stream so that's good at least. For a little bit I stopped caring but then I went back to caring. As embarrassing it is this YouTuber is like a borderline addiction for me. You get it though, I also blacklist myself from liking stuff and I genuinely don't even know why. Just if someone calls it "degenerate" I avoid it in fear. And I don't even know why.
>>84799464>>84799528>>84800110>>84801365You have to stop using kiwifarms and the sharty.
>>84802502Cant. Like I literally doubt I ever could unironically.
