I drank about 14 units of liquor (I weigh about 95lbs) and almost fell asleep in the bathtub and drowned. I remember slowly passing out and slipping further into the water. I was calling with my friend and he spoke and I was suddenly awake and out the bath. I vomited all in the toilet and on my bed. I wake up the next day and go for a walk with my mother and dog like nothings happened. It felt like my insides were rotting but Ive gotten better throughout the day. Thank you Jesus Im naturally a side sleeper. Thank you Jesus for my friend (who I havent called with in years) immediately and unexpectedly agreeing to call with me. Thank you Jesus my mum happened to buy shaving razors with the bent, anti-suicide blades. Thank you
>>84815377It will be okay. Things will get better
>>84815377>anti-suicide bladesSince you mentioned it, are you suicidal? Have you had a change of mind since your near-death experience?
>>84815392Thank you>>84815396Ive been passively suicidal for a while. I wasnt intending to kill myself, although I wouldnt have minded drowning, but my body and brain kicked in and saved me. I certainly wouldnt kill myself using a blade, but considering how drunk I was I mightve accidentally done so had they been proper blades.I feel more thankful for life now, I hope I dont get this bad again in the future. I hadnt cut myself in about 3 years before last night, so you never know
>>84815443You deserve a good day what sounds like a good day to you
>>84815557Today was a pretty good day. I had two delicious meals without any guilt. I went on a nice walk and saw lots of cute dogs, it was beautiful out, not too hot or too cold. A good day would be a day where none of this ever happened
>>84815635i'm sorry anon, i hope things get better for you but it's bittersweet in a way. i understand ur pain. you said today was good though so please celebrate each small win.
>>84815377I went to a cemetery and hung a jump rope on a tree because I was sad and alone and I sat under it to see what it would be like and then I think I was doing it wrong and I got frustrated and left That was about 5 years ago now, still sad and alone, no I do not endure hardship or suffering or unfairness well so I am the epitome of effeminacy and unmanliness.
>>84815741Thank you, youre right. The small wins are all I have>>84815763Im sorry youre also hurting, anon. Youre not any less of a man for struggling with hardship. Im not just saying that. I genuinely dont understand why that would be considered a feminine trait when men struggle with mental illness and addiction just as much as women, and commit suicide even more. Please dont be so hard on yourself
>>84815810>Youre not any less of a man for struggling with hardship.No actually literally and matter-of-factly I am effeminate and unmanly for not enduring hardship well. I didn't say you were saying that. I'm just acknowledging that is the case. >Please dont be so hard on yourselfThis is coming from someone who drank a gallon of liquor in a bathtub and can't be trusted around household blades?
>>84815906I know you didnt say I said that. Im simply telling you that I dont think you are effeminate for not dealing with hardship well. Im trying to be nice and supportive
>>84815377now that you finally got over suicidality, what's next?
>>84815936It's just literally what effeminacy and unmanliness means, it's like saying two and two don't make four and I'm confused at how this is nice or supportive
>>84815977Deal with these cuts, spend time with my family, focus on school, and be a volcel for the foreseeable future >>84816013Thats subjective, and as I explained before, even if people do consider them to be effeminate traits, they shouldnt. Not just because its harmful or whatever, but because it simply doesnt make sense when men struggle just as much as women
>>84815635I am glad you had a good day. May more come your way. Make sure you are drinking water
>>84816083That's not subjective, that's what the words mean down to the etymologies and concepts of virtus being the qualities of a vir-, or a man, probably from the same indo-european root that were- in English comes from.>even if people think two and two make four then they shouldn't Why? >it simply doesnt make sense when men struggle just as much as womenEffeminacy is not a word here used about feminine women, it's talking about effeminate men. Effeminacy is a modern localization of the latin mollities. Properly speaking an effeminate man is one who withdraws from good on account of sorrow caused by lack of pleasure, yielding as it were to a weak motion. This is not subjective >men struggle just as much as womenI wish, because women are actually quite pampered creatures that suffer little and endure no hardship
>>84815377that's scaryhope you get better anon
>>84816323Okay then, youre a weak effeminate faggot who makes himself miserable. Happy now?
>>84815906>>84816323this nigga is actually insufferable holy shit
>>84816476>Okay then, youre a weak effeminate faggot who makes himself miserable.No, I don't make myself miserable, I am made miserable by my lot in life, and my reaction to it is what characterizes my effeminacy and unmanliness >Happy now?No, I'm not happy, I've said to you as much since around >>84815763 >>84816586>this nigga is>using affected speechUhhh a merry bix nood to you too?
