anyone else's autism is so bad you can't even make online friends, let alone irl ones? I have a combination of trauma, autism, bad personality and beliefs I can't even have friends.
>>84834591What are some specific examples you can give where you've failed? What happened?
>i'll be your friendit's pointless, I don't use discord or any social media, I spent a decade trying to have online friends from here and other places to no avail. I'm eternally alone and unhappy.
>>84834599I think it's mostly me being weird, robotic, too negative, no social skills. Many random people from the internet simply ghosted me or straight up told me I was a complete unlikeable fuckup
inb4 the "autism is not a thing" cocksucker shows up
>>84834591My autism is bad enough to where my accent changes, based on the kind of people I frequently watch on YouTube. It's an unconscious mimicking behavior.
>>84834599>>84834609not to mention the only irl "friends" I ever had in school all abandoned me before hs even ended, since then I could never talk to another human being face to face. I'm almost 30, I never even played a game on steam with another person over voice chat, I have extremely negative feelings about myself, like a serious inferiority complex
>>84834609If you're aware of your specific social issues, you can search and try to find specific answers. If you really want this, you will have to spend time learning and adapting. It won't be easy, but I have specifically stopped being so negative and that helped me socially and personally, even with my autism.
>>84834620yea me too, I just watched a german youtuber and kept copying his accent while speaking to myself alone in my room
>>84834622Well, your social life probably won't get better until you solve at least some of your self confidence issues. It takes time and hard work, but you can dig yourself out of that hole.
>>84834624I think my life is too fucked up for me to stop being negative, not to mention the hundred of hours of content I watched which I internalized and made me a really awful hateful person.
>>84834591Yeah me, I'm just too autistic and boring, people quickly stop wanting to spend time with me after they get to know me.
>>84834591yea for the most part I can't make friends but recently I met someone and we seem to click. life is so boring without friends
>>84834643Fortunately the brain is capable of great change. I know that a leap like this would be hard to make, but if you research and are willing to experiment, you still have a chance.
>>84834635I already fell into the looksmaxxing rabbit hole to try to fix my subhuman looks, but I eventually reached a point where there's nothing else I can do that would make a substantial difference. I think that is one of the only things that could help my confidence, but that is not all, I think even if I was good looking I would still be hated because when people talk to me they can see right through my social mask, I'm bad at masking, I sound genuinely retarded and robotic. I will never be human
>>84834657truth is I don't even want to change, I just want people to like me for what I inherently am. Normies get to enjoy the good life, why can't I? why must I be segregated and excluded like this? I think about all those times in school where literally everyone left me out of group projects, when they couldn't pair me with anyone in PE and the teacher got angry at me, all that for what? because there's something inherently wrong with me, and it will never change no matter how hard I try
>>84834658Looksmaxxing is kind of a scam, anyway, for various reasons I won't get into right now.But, for negativity, it's not so much about big, longterm goals, but doing small things for yourself consistently. Building a little discipline every day can give you the push you need to do more. Make self care a priority (not as in looksmaxxing, but as in caring for yourself in a healthy way). Start something new, go somewhere new. Try, for a day, to catch yourself in negativity. Consciously let the thought pass and give it no weight. Try to savor any small, good, wholesome moments.
>>84834673The real world is not the same as your school days. You have to try to let all of that go and see the world in a new way. I can't give you all the answers, but I'm trying to give you tools to try to find your own resolution. You have to try to find a way to process the past and feel what you need to, to move forward.
>>84834694I feel like the real world is just an extension of high school, just look at social media, or television, we're all in a never ending competition and those who get left behind become people like me
>>84834715>just look at social media, or televisionNeither of these things are real life. They are hyperreality. Not real reality. The internet thrives off of negativity, because outrage is extremely profitable.
>>84834723normies in real life are just as hard to interact with as normies on the internet, in real life there's a social layer that involves micro expressions, social skills, charisma, I can't play this game. You fuck up once in real life = failure
>>84834733That's why you need to find other autistic people. I can't interact with normies, but people like me accept me.
>>84834733>You fuck up once in real life = failureand if someone like me fails, I beat myself over it for the rest of my life, the memory of it randomly pops up in my head and ruins my entire day
>>84834742>I beat myself over it for the rest of my life, the memory of it randomly pops up in my head and ruins my entire dayThere are ways to gain emotional regulation and deal with this, you just have to be willing to learn and be open to it.
>>84834733nta but I think your shooting yourself on the foot by viewing the world so negatively. You don't have to click with every normie, in fact most people aren't worth it. All you got to do is find a few people you really resonate with and don't judge your every move. It is possible, but when you shut down you bring the chances of meeting them to almost zero.
>>84834738I failed at developing long lasting friendships with other autists, I feel like this is the same thing as ugly people not liking other ugly people. Autistic people will mock the shit out of people who are even slighly more autistic than them (even me to some extent, I have a sperg failure brother like me and I hate talking to him, maybe because in my mind I subconciously see myself as better than him)
>>84834761when I used discord I used to interact with some people who didn't judge me but even then I was anxious of every little thing, could never act naturally, even after opening up to them about things. I think childhood experiences fucked me up so bad I will never be a functioning person.
>>84834764When you're harsh on yourself, you will often be harsh on other people. You've got to learn to care about yourself, at least a little, first.
>>84834761>>84834783I'm in a constant state of trying to protect my ego I guess, even the slightest misstep is enough to send me into a negative spiral
>>84834591A full 3rd or so of austist develop schizoid personality disorder.
>>84834591>>84834622I had a similar experience. I could hold on in the beginning. But as things progressed friendships inevitably became weird as I increasingly struggled to understand where people were trying to take things and we simply grew apart. Normies are always scheming for power, I suspect. So the friendship is often dominated by perceived usefulness to some cause. And if you can't decode the communiques you get left behind.
>>84834784I don't think I can learn to love myself at this point, that ship has already sailed. In my head I'm everything bad a person can be, I wont go into detail but I feel genuine hatred and disgust when I think about what I am. there's so many layers of shit and not a single good quality
This is how I feel in every single social interaction I had in my life by the way
>>84834591The only time I ever made friends online is back when MMORPGs relied on text to communicate. Turns out, I'm friendly and funny when I type. Although I'm a stammering, blubbering mess when I talk.I didn't have very many close friends, but my WoW guild all appreciated me because I showed up for every raid and I was like top 5 dps for six years in a row. Eventually guild participation in new expansions went down and then the GM was got cancer and was given three months to live. Poor guy, I had no idea how to react to that and just tried to play it cool. That was the wrong thing to do. I never saw him again after he told us and didn't get to thank him for his hard work in Burning Crusade.
