>life starts going to shit around childhood>slowly deteriorates throughout life>school performance clearly shows it>struggle through it and make it through somehow>regardless>bad decision after another>family starts hating me and treating me like trash>challenges in life keep strangling the air out of me and the will to live>total collapse when the COOF hits as I'm about to graduate>drop out right as I'm about to graduate>5 years of NEETdom>do nothing but anime, vidya and 4chan>completely live virtually>waste my life during that time>see no value to life and a reason to live>just want to die at this point as I see no other/better outcome for myself>mother threatens to kick me out if I don't stop being a NEET and change for the better>forces me to see some mental health shit or something during that time>barely anything changes like the previous times I've been to mental help throughout childhood to adolescence and adulthood>life circumstances eventually get really serious>forces me to go do something, literally>look for work>no one accepts me due to a 5 year gap and unfinished education>gotta do something though or else I'm fucked>get back into education>weird at first but life starts having some structure again>don't really socialise with anyone>everyone's a few years younger than me>stay by myself like I used to before>however>no longer staying up late into the night>no longer spending majority of my day online>no longer have too much free time to spend it retardedly>slowly but surely life conditions improve>seem to be getting my life into order>life seems to become bearable again>even liveable>family shows some love and respect due to success and respectable behaviour/lifestyle/image>suicide no longer the primary solution to problems>life seems to be at an all time high>couldn't really get any better than this>...>just as things are improving and going well>one mishap and misstep after another
>>84846371>>couldn't really get any better than thiscongrats anon that means its all downhill from here
>one stumble and fall after another>again, life slowly going back to shit>chaos ensues little by little>old, bad habits start popping up again>family can feel it>love is slowly fading away and so does their respect for me>they go back to their old treatment of me being a loser, incel, NEET, good-for-nothing failure>teachers who liked me are palpably growing colder towards me>can feel how old, shitty life is creeping up my spine again>GutsBerserkArmor.gif>life is spiralling out of control again...Bros, I don't want to go through this...not again...I don't know how much more my soul can take of this before it shatters.Sorry for the blogpost. I always post here whenever I want to get things off my chest.
>>84846371Get the mental health SMI diagnosis, apply for state Medicare. If you have a hospitalization, get SSI.Receive neetbux, pay rent to family, take out a loan if possible, buy a property, pay it off with government money (who cares, they take it when you die).If you have a company idea you could register a llc and sell shares for venture capital. Then use the money to run a business and pay out dividends to investors.
>>84846371if you were a woman you could open up any dating app and find a simp to happily fund your lifestyle, completely negating all your fuckups
>>84846418Yeah, but the "really" was hinting that it could always be better but realistically this is the best I could get.>>84846442Paperwork and bureaucracy in Germany is hell. I wanted to get simple financial support for my commute which would've been 70 Euros max but even then the pennypinchers wouldn't give me a single Euro. Not to mention that my doctor doesn't really take me serious either. I highly doubt I could get any support since the social system in Germany is collapsing and they're rather die than give out a single Cent to anyone who actually needs it.>>84846449Yes, I'm not a woman though.
>>84846533>Yes, I'm not a woman though.skill issue
>>84846421>>can feel how old, shitty life is creeping up my spine againi think we can all relate to this anon. we're all much of spergs to be able to keep up with the dysfunctional expectations the normies have. we'll never be enough and we cant change that. youve learned the hard way the same as we all have that we're just not enough.
>>84846605I hate self diagnosing but at this point I genuinely think I have autism. All my life I've been the odd one out.
>>84846674yea i got diagnosed as a kid. your greentext is the repeated story of all of our lives. this is why we're on this board. we try, we get a glimpse of acceptance, the goalposts move and we cant keep up, and then we experience the withdrawal and rejection of others.
>>84846750I thought this board was just you can't say the same thing twice
>>84846774funny and sharp comment i appreciate it, yea we just reword it over and over. we all tried our best and got rejected and learned this is it for us and gave up. some from our oneitis, some from family and friends, some from jobs.
Who the fuck asked you stupid nigger
>>84846750How does one go about being diagnosed/tested? I don't want to go up to a/my doctor and just ask him to test me for autism or any mental illness. Don't even care about the money I could possibly receive. Just want to know what the reason is for the way that I am.
>>84846849google it niggga
