hellooooo rninekay :Dplease speak to me..
>>84864267Hello cutie, do you always come here?
>>84864267I am a male O_OA big hairy male...
>>84864288i havent for a few days.. now im back to attention seek again >>84864320hello sir!
>>84864344Hello. Do you want to KISS
>>84864267are you the foid with the broken pussy?did you manage to fix it?
>>84864501isnt that a bit perverse.. o.o
>>84864512It's definitely a male jfl
>>84864512maybe TT and no its not fixed
>>84864549its over, just buy a new one at this point
hello op good afternoon
>>84864267i want to learn to love all beings, but i can't seem to let go of my established biases, like i don't like cats i don't think they're cute, but i know i should love cats or other animals, i just can't bring myself to love cats. what the hell are we gonna do?what are we gonna do man??
>>84864777i think ive started to accept it without realising because i dont really feel horny anymore xd>>84864850good evening anon!
>>84864895How is your pussy broken, what does that mean?
>>84864862do you not like them or do you hate them? its probably okay to not like them idk, but if it is the former maybe its because not having the right experience maybe?my parents both said no dogs and hate dogs or whatever and my sister moved out for a month got a dog and came back, now they love dogs. i might do that with a cat one day..
>>84864895its not eveninnnnggg yettttt what did you want to talk about
>>84864932i didn't like dogs either, but then my parents got a chihuahua, now i love chihuahuas and am less hateful of dogs. so maybe i'll have to get a cat someday in the future, but the way they break everything just seems annoying to me, i just can't like them and i don't find them cute at all.
>>84864923oh i made a thread before about how i could not get off and stuff XD people gave me advice but it was to no avail. i just dont feel much down there it seems>>84864964its 9pm for me!>>84864974i was scared of dogs at the time too, i locked myself in the garden and cried because it kept following me around, now im okay i think but big dogs are a bit scaryi think its okay, maybe dont get a cat if youre very unsure. maybe if you know anyone with a cat? but if it causes you so much of trouble its fine to just not like them i guess, as long as youre not hurting them or something but thats a bit of a drastic jump
>>84865045I think I remember your thread. And you've tried all manner of toys? Clit stuff, g spot stuff, etc?
>>84865045i recently got into like buddhism and also hindu, they're really different but they say cool shit but they both agree that in your journey to enlightenment you're gonna have to learn to love every living thing and i can't even love cats which a ton of people do. maybe in another incarnation i'll learn to love em.
>>84865049uhh probably not everything, i did end this though with that i got a vibrator and i physically could not feel it (to like a significant enough degree id say) despite being able to feel it against my hand. so i feel like that there isnt much else for me that might be effective if its this much of a problem im guessing there probably is something that could make me feel something but i dont know how i would go about trying that with how unlikely things feel like they will go.. or maybe there are things i could try but i think not without scaring myself, as someone who is scared very easily and id rather not do thatas of now ive given up until date tbd but i dont feel that upset about it so its okay>>84865064thats very interesting :o i dont know much about faith because i just ended up rejecting my own that i was raised into and havent thought about it much since. i think maybe you can think about how much it takes to love something? like surely you cannot love everything to the same degree or to the degree that you normally would say - i love xyz - like how much like do you have to hold for something for it to be considered enough? is this something that it is dictated to you how much you should or do you decide yourself idk sorry if im saying anything incredibly retarded i am atleast very slightly tipsy rn
>>84864267hi nona, what are ur thoughts about suicide and the point of life 0_o
>>84864267So are you an asexual? You don't get aroused at all?
>>84864523Is that a no or
>>84865187yeah you seem drunk i didn't get your question but that's okay i haven't slept in like 3 days so i'm not making a lot of sense or understanding much anyway.
>>84865209hmmm if im talking about for me, i am trying to get through my life easily and with comfort i guess? im a hikineet who does fuck all every day except play an mmo for a bit. im not sure i could name what the meaning of life is, i havent thought about it before..about suicide, i think.. i havent thought about it much ,, like the meaning i guesss i did think about it myself though. i think for myself it was always like in a moment of extreme fustration or upset i would think about it and i would think stuff like - they will finally feel sorry for what they did or something. anyway it was always a very drastic reaction for myself i guess, or i felt like i didnt deserve to even have the bare minimum of living? i dont think i could ever do it even though myself, im scared of anything too permanent, even if it would be a permanent end to suffering i felt? i would dont think i could handle entering something i could not escape or change my mind about, id rather just let myself suffer until i inevitably die some other way. i always knew i would be too much of a pussy to do it though because i would worry - what if nobody finds me in time - or some bullshit like that, i think i must have just been searching for any attention i could find, and also my thoughts about it were usually about how would they react i guessfor others i think that it is not something i could possibly understand, to feel the way they feel when they do something like that. i cant hold it against them but i would hope they can try to survive instead as much as possible. but sometimes your suffering is so much that it really could be your only saving i feel a bit selfish.. because i only have takes on this according to myself and not of others >>84865218i get horny and think about things all the time but i physically do not feel much touch or pleasure if i tried to get off >>84865221ive never kissed anyone so go easy on me please c:
>>84865187I would say if you feel up to giving it a shot again later try getting an internal toy that stimulates the gspot. Could work for you maybe. And get lube with it so you can get it in.
>>84865229yeahh sorry about that xd im rambling a lot i think and i dont proof read anything unless i fail ascii anyway what i was trying to say was do you have to really love cats fully and stuff for it to be counted as good enough for your religion? how much love or liking is enough to count as ok yes i love thisif that makes any more sense than it did earlier lol i dont know how hinduism/buddhism works really if it is like really exclusionary to stuff like that? like it must be all or it means nothing idk
>>84865409to be honest i just started with both those religions, but my guess is i have to love them the way i love chihuahuas, i really like chihuahuas just seeing them makes me happy, so my assumption is that i should probably love everything that much, which seems impossible.
>>84865379If you get horny but don't experience much sensation do you think you would enjoy just focusing on pleasuring someone else?
I don't know what kind of lolcow OP is, but I see cats, I post cats.
>>84865379>ive never kissed anyone so go easy on me please c:mwuhmwah mwah
>>84864512what is the lore on this foid
sorry im back my whale friend forced me to stop slacking for a bit xd>>84865428im not sure if its possible to love everything to that extent, i think maybe it is best to try to love things to as much as you can maybe but to a point that is natural and not that you are forcing yourself to love them. im glad there are things that you find you love so much though >>84865435hmm i think maybe? if there was someone i loved enough to i think i would want to, i dont know anything about relationships. i dont know if i will ever be in such a situation though because i have a lot of problems myself that would stop me from ever getting to that point. if there was someone who would accept my strange behaviours and would teach me without making me feel like a complete idiot, maybe i would be able to. but im not sure why anyone would pick that over just finding someone - fully functional - ? for lack of better words coming to my head xd>>84865463i like cats :3 cute kittyi just post occasionally because i dont get much socialising otherwise and i come here to supplement it >>84865580mwah c:
>>84865379how did you become a hikineet, and what mmo do you play usually? do you have any other interests like watching anime or reading or anything like that?I'm a different anon from the one you replied to, but I personally think about suicide constantly, but I don't *really* want to die... it's more like I want to feel better, but I don't think it's realistically possible. I have so many fantasies about falling in love with a girl who loves me, and we're mutually obsessed and spend all our time with each other and we find meaning in life from our love. but I'm also a hikineet and a khhv so I've never gotten to experience happiness like that. I feel touch-starved and love-starved... I don't see how there can be something worth living for greater than love :pwhy do you feel like you're suffering? that makes me sad to hear, you seem sweet and I think you deserve happiness
>>84865379do you ever want to play vidya with a moid, what about run around in an mmo with one
>>84865647uhmm im not sure what would be counted as lore.. but prior to this i have 2 threads about how i dont know how to get off and people were trying to help me xd thats basically it >>84865784lots of stuff :o okay ill try to write it all >how did you become a hikineet my secondary school experience was interrupted by covid, i never really was that much of an outgoing person i think in the first place but i think that is what started to make me reclusive. in college (college is age 16-18 in my country) i just purposefully isolated myself as much as possible, i donts really know how to make friends so when i was in secondary i only made friends because my primary friends (because basically everyone is friends at that age..) would make friends and i would just become their friend by proxy. they did all end up leaving though xd but that was okay. so in college i just didnt try to make friends and i just go sit on my phone in the library or something in breaks and dont speak to unless spoken to and shit and i go straight home after college. some people did speak to me a bit by the end of it which was kind of nice but i think it was far too late because everyone knows everyone far more than i could and also i just felt very anxious around people speaking to me lol. when i finished college i did not leave my house. (i forgot to say before also i only went outside for college and then also church.. my mother made me at the time lol)anyway yeah i did not go outside since i finished college except to church but then i was finally able to escape church after going for 19 years yay and now i dont go outside unless for my neet moneyi cba to read what i wrote and fix it i realise now my words are like vomit very sorry
>>84865798i dont have anything against it, i havent specifically played with someone in years rather than i meet someone inside a game,, i just worry that i wont be able to get along well because i am actively trying to do that and be liked that i come off in some sort of negative way, same problem i have with trying to befriend people on soc unfortunately :(maybe im being a bit too paranoid>>84865784>other interestsi do like anime but i havent been able to watch anything recently, im not the best at having multiple interests at once XD all my time goes into my one game. i think i also do like some games i havent played very many though, theres lots of things id like to do but i dont think i will ever feel like actually doing them>suicide..? etc i have not thought of it much in a while, i think my isolation has really helped me. being outside or around people i think was making my distress far worse and made me think about it a lot more frequently. as of how i am currently i think i would just say i am a very anxious person and can be paranoid about a lot of things.. unless something really terrible is happening i wont think of it much anymore compared to how i thought about it whenever and frequently as a normal person.about wanting to feel better than actually dying i think is probably how a lot of people feel, i think its similar to wanting to die for the sake of not wanting to suffer anymore. i think your case is probably a better thing though, it sounds more like you havent fully given up yet :) about love, i think that it is a great thing to want to live for. im also khhv lol but im not sure if im the best person in this topic. i feel like a lot of people are yearning for love very deeply and i i mean i can understand it but i cant understand it from the point of view of that person. for some reason i have never felt interest in others like that and i dont find myself wishing i could have that. sorry wait char limit!
>>84865931your words aren't vomit, I think you write pretty well! :DI had a similar experience in high school (I'm from the us so similar to college in the uk (I assume you're from there?)) whenever I wasn't in class I'd just hide in the library and read or listen to vocaloid music... I didn't have friends, occasionally people would approach me but I didn't know what to do in that situation so I would just act really awkward or run away lol.... but for the most part I was isolated, especially during covid when everything became virtual and I literally spent all day trapped in a tiny closet. I was nearly failing most of my classes and I gave up hopes of going to uni, although I did end up going a few times anyway and dropping out for various reasons. I wish I had been more ambitious but I couldn't concentrate on my work, I was too depressed and anxious and ended up becoming a total shutin and couldn't figure out a way to escape... not only did I try going to uni though, I've worked a few jobs but still ended up falling back into my old habits. I just wish things could get better but I know it takes effort that I don't have the energy for. I still fully intend to get my life back on track, I'm optimistic that it's possible :D I just need to find some kind of happiness in life so I have the motivation to livesucks that your mom forced you to go to church... when I lived with my grandma she made me as well, weirdly though I felt happier going to a religious school than a regular public school even though I've never felt particularly religious and didn't fit in with the other students. I still got along with them even though I was different and there wasn't anyone creepy there thankfully (I have met multiple pedo teachers somehow...) anyway your life sounds kind of comfy now, I'm glad you at least have neetbuxI was wondering, what would your ideal life be like if you could have anything you wanted? do you have any dreams or ambitions? would write more but no space :(
>>84865931>>84865784continued oopsi dont know if what i have done to myself has made it so i cant even comprehend feeling such a way. maybe i have not been isolated long enough to feel loneliness yet. love for people is very interesting though. maybe it just will take me a long time to experience it, i think its a lovely thing for other people but i cant fully understand it myself yet.. i feel a bit strange that i have not felt even the tiniest bit of anything related to it before, maybe i will change over time..?>suffering i dont feel like i am suffering that much anymore. but back then when i would think about dying i wanted people to finally understand that how they treated me hurt me.. or how what i had done to myself or experienced was something maybe you should notice if you had a chance to do it all over again. i find this mostly to my parents because i felt like everything i felt was always overlooked to the point of when getting into an argument where i said i wanted to kms i was told to grow up
>>84865931>college is age 16-18 in my countryare you a brit bonger or in france or something>>84866072>maybe im being a bit too paranoidi think people can meet whereever and if the other person is chill they will be okay with it, what mmo do you like to play, u dont think it would be fun to login with a duo partner to do content in game?
>>84864267hey hey hey hey heywazzup??
>>84866072why are you trying to befriend people on soc though?its just demented gooners and trannies there, youd unironically have more luck if you tried adding r9k retards instead. maybe try one of those make a friend subreddits
>>84866106ill come back to you again last before i start essaying again XD>>84866155yes im from ukyeahh i think it can work but i think due to my poor social skills i cant make myself interesting enough to remain friends with people i meet with the intention of i will become friends with this person>>84866179youre a bit related to the reply above, making friends on soc is rough yeah TT i have only posted twice in my experience. i made 2 friends from 2024 one of which i am quite close to. this was before i started playing my mmo..? so i think i must have been really bored of not speaking that i decided to try it. posted once again this year and had a bad experience and i wont be touching it anymore i think..tbf though of the boards ive been on i do find r9k to be the nicest to be on :o>>84866159hello helloo whats up :D
>>84866260>i meet with the intention of i will become friends with this personya i get it kinda, i usually get depressed and than just feel pointless, usually u want a fren whos just chill to be with and u wanna do stuff together, but not forced, i usually end up alone and i just watch streams, making friends is pointless if my life is going nowhere ;(
>>84866155ugh sorry i keep missing half of peoples sentences i need to wake up more >.>i play tos neo but its really small and dead and i wouldnt recommend it lol, everyone is really nice though thats why i have stayed and because i was forced into being a leader xd its my first time playing mmorpg though, so i cant say if its any better than other games
>>84866281the game looks cute, although dead mmos make me feel sad
>>84866072>>84866121regarding love, it could just be that you're aromantic :p I think it's fine if you don't feel that way, it's better not to have such feelings in my opinion... if you don't feel lonely or desire a partner, it's much easier to be content I think. constantly wanting something so difficult to obtain is just painful and demoralizing. I think you are a bit too insecure, you don't come across in a negative way at all! but maybe you're different when talking to people on soc or elsewhere, I'm not sure... I find it hard to imagine you'd really be so unpleasant though. it's difficult to get close to people and I think it just takes time to get comfortable with them to the point where you can talk effortlessly. once you reach that point, you stop worrying so much about not being liked, but if someone constantly makes you feel insecure I think that's pretty bad. personally I used to need a lot of reassurance that I'm not annoying so I get it. I think I'm better at telling how people feel about me now, but at the same time it can make things worse when you're confident that someone doesn't like you, lol...I'm sorry your parents never took you seriously, that's horrible of them. it hurts when they aren't even capable of sympathizing when you've reached the point where you're ready to die. it makes you feel so unloved. but I'm glad you at least aren't completely isolated and have friends you can count on (or at least one friend like who you mentioned earlier). it's interesting that isolation helped you overall though, in my case it made me feel so much worse... but still in many cases I willingly isolated because it was less painful than being rejected.I will write more in a bit I feel like my brain is mush :p
>>84864267>>84864267its talking caaat
>>84866106yeahh when i was in school i just avoided everything lol. in class i just listen to music and outside of class i wandered off on my own and went on my phone instead. i ended up fucking over my grades like that but its okay because i would hate to go to a real university, i started online uni for a bit but stopped because i couldnt get myself to do any work, ill come back to it one day cause i have to appease my parents xd in college some people did approach me aswell but talking to them was really hopeless. i was invited out to break with two people once but i was really obviously on edge the entire time and couldnt say much. they didnt invite me a second time hahai hope you are able to get your life back together :) i hope you get everything you want anoni think my ideal life would probably very similar to this. i would live alone though. everything is good enough for me now i just need to escape my parents. they arent abusive or horrible and stuff but like of what i still do get stressed or anxious or mad about it is always due to them, i think it would be good to be separate and maybe everyone gets along betteri think aside from that maybe my ideal life i would also be able to pursue more than one hobby at a time xd and i want to own lots of cute things and a cat hopefully and not just live in a cramped room
>>84866300that might be the case but for something everyone wants so strongly and everyone thinks is amazing and one of the greatest things being something im unable to experience and not by choice sucks i think i will just hold out for as long as possible that it might happen. maybe i need to know someone very very well or something i think it is mainly insecurity. i am very very deeply afraid of being seen in a negative way which is one of the main reasons i isolated myself so much. 4chan and mmos i can hide behind atleast i can disappear whenever i want and be forgotten and go back to my peace even if its horrible in the moment, and for mmos i can hide behind i dont have to open up enough to talk to and to befriend people, i can talk about game stuff and i wont be alone and i hopefully wont be disliked.
>>84866556>>84866631I'm sure the people in college just didn't invite you again because they were afraid they were making you anxious. hopefully you don't think they disliked you... I don't see how you could be disliked at all. I understand being afraid of rejection but I think in your case it's a bit irrational, simply because you're so pleasant to talk to. I dunno I just find you very endearing :pI hope you can get a cat someday soon! I think you should go with the plan you mentioned earlier and just... adopt one. force your parents to deal with it, they will fall in love like they did with your sister's dog. I think I'll do that if I find a stray cat somehow. my mom has four cats but I don't live with her, I did see them recently though and they were soooo cuddly ahhhhhh I miss them...it would be better though of course if you could live on your own eventually. I'm sure it's possible but I don't know how, you'd need a lot of money :( if you do go back to uni though you can probably get a decent job, but again, I don't know how you'd do that either... I am really not a great person to give advice on this lolwhat sort of hobbies would you want to pursue if you could focus on multiple things?also sorry for taking so long to respond, this thread will probably be dead by the time I wake up :(this is awkward but I think we met before on soc, but I got sort of socially anxious and overwhelmed and ended up abandoning my account... I sent you a friend request again, it's on a different account but I'll tell you my old username so you can see our prev convos. if you don't want to talk again that's okay, I know you just said you preferred to hide and disappear, but I would be really sad if this was the last time I ever got to speak to you. there's still a lot more I want to talk about, only if you want though ^_^
