is anything troubling you anon? or do you just want someone to talk to? please feel free to here.
>>84884364I'm getting older, taking stock of my life, and i'm unimpressed I guess.
>>84884371what would you change?
I worry that my depression will make others feel bad so I hide it and pretend to be happy. It's not like anybody else can make me happy, they'd just feel like they need to do something, which won't help anyway. It's an interesting catch 22.
>>84884381to be honest? I dunno probably the reason why I'm here to begin with
>>84884364i has a great day today, yet i still cant sleep and feel like it is all going to go wrong any moment. it has me sick to my stomach.
>>84884364i'm in a simulation or some kind of virtual reality or something and none of this is real.what the hell am i gonna do?what the hell is going on?
theres a lot troubling me but talking about it makes me feel depressed. what are u up to op
>>84884391what do you feel is the cause of your depression? do you know?
>>84884395>the reason why I'm here to begin withand what's that? people are here for a lot of different reasons
>>84884364Been getting used to using an LLM to accelerate coding development and it's honestly really fucking annoying how they throw in little helper functions all over the place and overly decompose functions that don't need to be. It unintentionally obfuscates control flow and is an organizational mess. When I write a prompt to change something I have to be extremely specific about it and keep the scope of what I'm doing fairly limited so it doesn't shit up my codebase.
>>84884397what was great about your day, anon? >>84884401what makes you feel that way? and what keeps you from making the most of it, if that's the case?
>>84884401https://voca.ro/1heiuEK2i09c
>>84884411I was raped as a child, I lost my hand in an industrial accident 20 years ago, I'm very negative and can't form relationships. I have no friends, and am unable to form anything beyond superficial relationships. I'm constantly self critical and can't focus on positives about myself or my life or choices. If I choose A over B I'll heckle myself internally about things that can go wrong and why it's probably the wrong choice. It's exhausting being in my head.
>>84884424because i feel like i'm being watched all the time and like everyone is in on it and just fucking with me.plus i'm "schizophrenic" so i have hallucinations which is like people outside the simulation watching and reacting angrily at things i do that aren't decent things a normal person would do.i don't know how i would make the most of it, it just seems like things are rigged against me doing certain things. it's just annoying.
>>84884409I understand. have you read or seen anything neat recently? I'm not doing anything worthwhile apart from talking in this thread.
>>84884423what are you working on, if I may ask?
Got a broken tooth that is robbing me of the joy of eating. Apparently it being broken isn't a dental emergency so still waiting for my first appointment just to have it looked at, then I will have to get a second appointment to actually get it fixed which is who the fuck knows when. The tooth itself doesn't hurt but it rips apart my tongue any time it gets close to it because it's so sharp and every little bit of food that comes near it gets stuck so I have to spend 15 minutes cleaning the area every time I eat. God damn will I be pissed if I get scammed again at this dentist. I hate them so much for what they did to me. It's such a scummy profession, yet there is no alternative when you have actual tooth issues. I am window shopping lawyers now just in case this dentist tries to pull a similar scam. I will not just accept being scammed again. They will fucking pay if they cross me. If not in the court then with their fucking blood. I am fucking tired of everything being a scam all the time everywhere. I am not going to take it anymore. You want to make me hurt to squeeze out a few extra dollars, I will make you hurt. God damn am I so fucking angry.
>>84884461It's hyperspecific and I don't want to associate my online developer identity with areninekay.
i have to get a tooth pulled and im fucking terrified of iti had one pulled a decade ago and it wasnt nearly as bad as i thought it would be but im still scared
>>84884555you don't even feel it, i never got the dentist fear, they use numbing shit, all you feel is pressure. i just lay there and relax, let em do their thing.
>>84884364>is anything troubling you anon?i've been stuck in a job i dislike for 2 years and can't find anything else. I don't know what to do. also wish i had a gf/friends, but that is secondary really. i'm getting older. 24 yo khhv
>>84884364Everything. I'm constantly anxious, depressed and lonely. I'm terrified of going to hell and can't enjoy life. I wish I would go to sleep and not wake up.
>>84884364I'm lonely and depressed, and it's getting harder to cope every day. I don't see a future for myself.Thanks for asking.
>>84884364>is anything troubling you anon?I have enough pollen to make flowers bloom but I haven't gotten the time, or I'm not making myself time. Too distracted and they're wilting. I should start practicing but I haven't even started, just the vision is there.>do you just want someone to talk to? Sometimes. I'm mostly fine in my own head nowadays. I think most of the thoughts fled.>please feel free to here.August or December?
>>84884364I have a crush on my coworker. It's painful.
>>84884621You could hope and cope, nope and rope, or mope and dope. All valid options.
>>84884646I'm too scared to rope, too uncool to dope, and too jaded for hope.I had my chances to make something with my life and I threw them all away. Now I'm in a limbo of indecision and depression, and everything is my own fault. I will never escape samsara.
I've been stuck at home with my parents for about a year now, it feels like a year of my life just vanished into nothing. I don't even remember most of it, every day feels the same. I only wish that I could stick to the hobbies I start, maybe that would help the days not blend into eachother as much. Do any of you anons know how to motivate myself to be consistent? Should I maybe start keeping a journal of my progress?
>>84884727Set yourself both long-term and short-term goals you want to achieve.That helps a lot with consistency.Also don't worry too much about dropping hobbies, if it's fun then keep at it, if it's stops being fun then just don't force yourself to do it anymore.Especially if it's just entertainment and not an otherwise useful skill.
my father (44 years old) had a stroke at the end of 2024 and it has completely derailed my life since then.my and my father live in the same house (just us two) and having him (the bread winner) unable to work for 10 months made it so i had to step up and take care of shit on my own. i was working construction at the time and hated it so much, 2 to 3 hours of driving everyday, working alongside dumb illegal wetbacks who cant even speak fucking english, and i nearly had enough money saved up to begin trucking school but nope! its all gone now bc i had to take care of the finances and i blew threw all 6k that i had saved uprecently i quit my job on a whim like a dumbass bc i was spendng $150 a week on gas and the site they had me working at was a 90 minute drive (one way) and after waking up 15 minutes late it turned my morning drive from 90 to 120 minutes, i was listening to soundtracks from studio ghibli films to calm myself down but when the light didnt turn green for 3 minutes i just lost my shit, pretty sure i broke something in my hand hitting shit in my car and i left a massive scar on my forehead from bashing it on the wheel.my father is working again and we can manage but now i work at mcdonalds and only make enough to pay rent and save 100 dollars a month. i have nothing in my savings and pre stroke i had 6k saved up, a couple thousand dollars in assets that i had to sell, and i was putting money into my 401k.all of this because no matter how money times i told my father to lose weight he wouldnt listen, when i told him to stop smoking he wouldnt listen, when i told him he had to drink drpepper and not water he wouldnt listen (thats not an exaggeration, i havent seen him drink water in years and hes currently STILL going threw a 6 pack of drpeppers A DAY), and now i had to pay the fucking price for his unwillingness to change
I'm sschizophrenic and every day is a struggle. I want to end my life currently, but haven't worked up the courage to do so. My life would be tolerable if I had friends, or a girlfriend but that feels impossible for a sbuhuman freak like myself.
Couldn't sleep at all last night. Kept jerking awake every hour or so and in 5 minutes I have to go to work. Pray for me bros I'm too tired to even ragie in my wagie cagie this cursed day.
>>84884364My husband recently told me he thinks he is more intelligent than me when we were tipsy and I don't know how to get over it. I always thought he viewed me as a true equal.
>>84885884good luck, does your job let you use earphones to listen to music? my new job doesnt let me and the days just seem to fucking drag on forever
