>When someone who is even more autistic than yourself talks to you and it makes you think "Holy shit, is this how I come across to normal people? I need to end my life ASAP"
>>84958404i hope i am this person for people who interact with me
>>84958404So instead of listening to them letting them talk did not judging them making them laugh and having a good conversation you judge them in a demeaning manner like how you would not want other people to judge you in a demeaning manner and then you go on 4chan and post about how you are less autistic than someone what
>>84958404>I need to end my life ASAPThis is pretty much how i feel when someone imitates my weird mannerisms to try to "connect" with me
>>84958424>imitating an autists mannerisms to connect with themAnyone who does that should be executed without trial.
>>84958458This is how I know I am not autistic because it is a subconscious tool for connection I don't purposely try and mirror you it just happens like when you laugh and smile it just happens naturally it shows you are understanding the other person it shows that you are bonding
>>84958404I have masked to utter derealization but i stumble across autismos here and there with very high power levels.I like them, one of them plays magic the gathering
I had an older gay man nervously try to start a conversation with me just the two of us alone waiting for the bus at 5 am. Buy did I come to understand women's complaints about nice guys in that moment. He was obviously checking me out. If he had just said "hey cute guy wanna go out with me?" and then left when I said no, I would have felt flattered and things would have been good. But just us there, with no one else, him not getting the hint that I wasn't into it and just kept forcing conversation. I was sincerely creeped out and a little bit scared.
>>84958474I understand your perspective and the fact that you mean well and everything but it's hard not to hate myself for being wired differently and also being reminded of that difference whenever i leave my cave. Just can't help it
you're a fake autistic thenI'd rather spend 1 hour with a neurodivergent who I probably learn something from than 10 minutes with soulless normies who are just trying to sniff out if you are higher in their made up hierarchies
>>84958648I understand that what I try and do affects the autistic in a way that is confusing and misinterpreted so I have figured out what helps the autistic feel comfortable and even unmask after a while is just being blank outside of laughing not touching not using not using nonverbal communication and allowing the exchange of information to flow freely in organized conversation usually the ice breakers can be questions about how to accommodate things better to make them more efficient for them to build rapport
>>84958727Also from an outsider's perspective of someone who is not autistic try laughing without smiling like make the sound with no expression that is usually how I see autistic people and it is never judgmental because I have ADHD and understand that it is an uncontrollable mind thing like how I am always thinking or how I forget but I have noticed that the neurotypical tens did not take it very well and sometimes they exclude us as well when we forget to mimic or respond to them but most of the time we do so we go unnoticed along with the neurotypicals but I think sometimes an autistic can metaphorically take a second glance and think this neurotypical is not quite neurotypicaling oh ADHD neurotypicals do not do that they put us into one of two categories part of the tribe or not
>>84958404I was much worse as a kid/teenager but I picked up on others reactions with me and figured it would be better if I masked. Now that I am older, I mask pretty much all day at work and sometimes online talking with others so they dont think I am weird or whatever. I have very little friends but it is what it is in this hell and I wish I had a normal brain.
>>84958635I had a gay man hit on me once. He was some 45 year old with a ponytail andd a leather jacket, could have snapped me in half because I was very skinny at the time and in early 20s. I had mydick out at the urinal and he eyed me up and down and did a grunt of approval like he thought I was hot. Only time ive felt uncomfortable the way women do when sub fives hit on them.
>>84958761The whole topic of neurodivergence gets more complicated when you think about how over a third of all diagnosed autists also have adhd. Imagine that kind of life. In any case, i appreciate your input. Gives me a lot to consider
