anyone just kinda dissociate all the time?sometimes, I just feel like I'm a sea of thoughts and different stories, and the idea of "me" is just some abstract concept that doesn't any make sense
"me" is the story that im currently tellingYour fortune: Bad Luck
>>12513892that story fucking sucks though, its a lot easier to melt into other stories, other emotions, and in music, than to read my own life
>>12513913it's more like writing than reading. after you melt into those other things they become a part of the story of "you"
>>12513927when I dissociate though, it feels like I lose the original 'me' and latch onto those other things as an identitynone of this really makes sense as I'm saying it though, its not something I can really put into words other than declaring that "it is", like a color or senseI want to fall deeper and deeper into dissociation but I can't do DXM anymore without risking a hospital visitI just want to eliminate my "self" completely
>>12513935>declaring that "it is"that's all you need to do. the "original me" is meaningless
>>12513942I've been trying to lucid dream recentlyjust about anything seems to be possible in your dreams, so I think i can probably dissociate as hard as I could with any drugsused to have dreams about acid trips and would wake up with geometry in the corners of my vision, so this much should be possibleI'm probably slowly killing myself by doing this, but I just hate myself so god damn much
>>12513881>>12513927That's why I became a writer. I've been doing this since early childhood, these stories, these characters, different worlds are just popping up in my head all the time. They feel real, even though I know they're not. As the years went by I started to write them down, and began to realize that an actual "I" doesn't exist. There's no real me. I'm nothing more than thousands of stories mashed into a machine that turns them into a false reality. Books, short stories, etc. There's no point in fighting against them. Best you can do is accept yourself and start doing something productive with it. You can even make some money from it, not much, but enough to keep going. Also I'm diagnosed for schizoid personality disorder. Probably that is the real cause, at least for me. I'm going to sleep now, so goodnight anon, and don't be to hard on yourself. This can be a blessing too, rather than a curse, the only thing that matters is how you use your creative power.Your fortune: Very Bad Luck
read uminekoYour fortune: Average Luck
>>12513969I did that already, aswell as subahibi, steins gate, cross channel, atri, katawa shoujo, and several othersI fear I'll run out of truly amazing VNs to read at some point though
Woowww youre so weird and special and cool
>>12513935>I just want to eliminate my "self" completelyGod is great, and there is good news! -You can be a vessel for His Spirit, a part of the living Temple. Read the gospels and believe them and be baptized, cleansed and forgiven in order to receive God's Holy Spirit.
>>12513966I love you anon this is cool
>>12513935
>>12514531did that what next
>>12513881The first time I experience that was when I became depressed from a certain drug to cure my vision of seeing things.I stoped taking drugs when I couldn't even talk, I'm okay now, not thinking too much about losing oneself since I accepted for who I am now.No more dreaming or thinking about the future.I just do whats now, ye talking to myself is me, procastinating is a part of me, being astrange by others is just being myself.I will be with others who are positive and strong and that is better for me. Being in a job helps me stay motivated to lose weight, be with farmer gangs and learn life in general. Having a religion helps keep my mind from astray, have a goal and in general happy.Be with people you like, have some chat and improve. Life is good with ginger beer, gulp gulp gulp, phu-haaaaaa. That's just my preference.
>>12514621Applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love.Doing wickedness is like sport to a fool,And so is wisdom to a man of understanding.
