leave. now
>>12943654<happy mothers day>Your nickname is Mom. But your real name is Mooooooooom!Is it yelling? Or just very enthusiastic motivational speaking?“Mom, I love you loads. Like, loads of laundry. Speaking of…”My kid sure talks a lot of crap for someone who still puts Crocs on the wrong feet.Why do my kids never appreciate that I stayed up all night overthinking for them?I expected to have to spend more time on things after having kids, but no one warned me about how many years of my life I’d lose waiting for them to get in and out of the car.I love when the kids tell me they’re bored. As if the lady standing in front of a sink full of dirty dishes is where you go to get ideas about how to have a good time.Why is it that kids can repeat a swear word after hearing you say it once but still “don’t know how” to pick up their shoes despite seeing you do it a million times?My mom superpower is being the only person in the house who can see an empty toilet paper roll.Shower paranoia: the constant feeling that a child is crying every time you step under the spray.She believed she could, and she almost did…but then someone asked her repeatedly for a snack, and she lost track of what she was doing.Your fortune: You will meet a dark handsome stranger
>>12943656and NOW you suddenly have a problem LOOOOOLtalk about obsessed
