>>12977949
>>12977949
>>12977949
>>12977949
>>>/n/>>>/ic/>>>/e/>>>/r/
>>>/i/
>>>/c/
>>>/e/
>>>/r/


Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

>>12977949
gunfighte
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHeSC_Ws5Ic

>>12977952
If Hunter S. Thompson were here, he'd definitely have a way to open this beer.

>>12977963
I open my beer with a knife lole

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>>12977968
If Anonymous were here, he'd have a way to open this beer.

Here's the point: I'm an oracle.

I'm filled with great and momentous wisdom. Also, snot. Ask me a question.

>>12977991
who's knocking on your front door right now
is it the police

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>>12977995
Yes, but I'm white, so they gave me a hundred dollars and told me to have a nice day.

>>12977995
No, wait.

It was actually at least two women and, I think, a man. One's name may be Mallory.

Good call. That could've been a close one.

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Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

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>>12978055
>>12978055
>>12978055
>>12978055


Your fortune: Better not tell you now

>>12977974
lucky spikedog

>>12978060
yes he inside her boobies

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I went for a walk to try to rid myself of the world.

Unfortunately, the world's all around me.

I say again: I am an oracle. Ask me something.

As proof of my wisdom:

I know for a fact that somewhere in my house there exists a means for me to get into this beer. I have searched for it. I cannot find it.
I have no one to ask for assistance in opening my beer, and I recognize that this is a failure of mine. The world has become hostile to me as I have attempted to withdraw from it. I suspect - but do not know - that someone reading this may feel similarly to me, and I am, in this moment, asking for your companionship, here, in a place that I know we both choose to spend time in.

Since the world is transactional: ask me something, and I'll give you something. The ask itself is giving me proof I exist.

I paid a man 10 dollars to bring me a beer opener, and he apologized for taking too long.

I guess that about sums it up.

No clue, Josh.

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

>>12978168

Your fortune: Bad Luck

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Good god. Look at the size of it.

If this is how God talks, he's being a bit of a dick about all of this.

>>12978177
still no match for even a medium sized house centipede

Fireworks - I legitimately thought the revolution had started for a moment there.

I'm not so self-absorbed as to think that the world orchestrates entire fireworks displays just to scare the shit out of me, but I gotta say - immaculate timing. Of all times, in all places, here, now?
Fine, fine. Give me a fortune.

Your fortune: Bad Luck

>>12978187
As expected. Karmic debt, if anything.

I'm not dead yet - have at thee! From hells heart and all that.

I'll admit, it's all gotten a bit tiresome. Even for me.

>>12978179
I promise this consideration of the actual threat of the Shelobesque creature that decided to present itself to me, in comparison to a presumably even more gargantuan, many-limbed, large-fanged cepholopod (no - close) was entered into the registry and found amusing.

But really, thank God no such thing is currently on my floors. That might be too much for me.

I've always considered my own life as a novel to be written. I probably got the idea, more than anything, from The Unbearable Lightness of Being - he says something about that in there, towards the beginning. Something along the lines of "Those who would see the world as it actually is, just the bare facts of it, and nothing else, are robbing themselves of an entire dimension of beauty that might otherwise exist."
Of course, he wrote this in reference to the Soviet occupation of his country and the pervasive mood of paranoia and danger that resulted, in a novel that ends with the main characters dying in a car wreck in banal fashion. That is maybe a detail I ought pay more attention to, in my philosophy on life.

Because the thesis of that book, really, is that you don't find meaning in the lightness.

What's lighter than getting high? Not much. Masturbation - sex. The moment of orgasm. Le petite morte - the little death. This is referenced in the novel by name, as I recall.

And the French, and Kundera, were right - lightness is death. Philosophy, in its extremities, is a denial of reality, rather than an exploration of it. Plato knew this when he described the Forms. Our brains are capable of summoning purer ideals than our bodies can quite cash the checks for.

And that's the thing about trying to be infinitely light; your body will call you down.

I read once in a book that the Romans thought that what distinguished men from animals was that men would, unprompted, look up to the sky and wonder what was up there. While I think this is probably reductive at best and downright historically inaccurate at worst, I will not argue this: that really does describe what it is to be a human. To look at something entirely outside yourself and wonder at it; "what happens over there, where I don't exist? Surely something is happening."

And surely it is. It surely is. A whole lot of it, in fact.

The idea itself - the idea of The Unbearable Lightness of Being, capitalization and proper spelling of capitalization both well earned - comes from the Nietzchean idea of Eternal Return, of which I don't really know much of outside of this book. A failure of my own... erudition, to keep with the pretentious theme.

Basically, as I understand it: what if instead of things happening to you once, they happened infinite times? What if every action you're taking right now is the same action you'll be taking for all eternity, consciously or not? In other words: what if every single little thing you did had /weight/?

Well, now. What then, fucker? A lot of what you've been getting up to seems a bit silly, innit?

I'm well aware I'm screaming into the void. I imagine you there, sitting at your computer - or more likely your phone - going... what, exactly?
"lole"? Lmao, even?

I'd take that. Amusing's not so bad. What would actually be worse is
"Christ, what a sad sack." And worse than that? "What a pretentious sack of failures."

The last one, as with all insults, is closest to the truth, and thus the one that hurts most. No amount of synonyms can disguise it.

But of course... all of that is better than nothing. Because nothing is death. Infinite lightness.

What if instead of everything happening infinite times, it isn't happening at all? What if you're doing all this for nothing? What if, really, you are, the only motherfucker out there on a Friday night who understands what in the shit you are even trying to communicate to other human beings?

And that, my friends, is terror. That is death. From Hell's Heart, I strike at thee.

And so on.

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But if you can't laugh at yourself, you won't be able to laugh at anything. It's always best not to take yourself too seriously. The happiest people never do.

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>>12978177
praise god for these dubs
>>12978188
i'll admit checking all these gets gets tiresome
>>12978211
eternally checking dubs

>>12978213
The endgame of that particular line of thought, by the way - "what if this shit just straight up isn't real, man?" - is the Boltzmann Brain, which is a fun bit of mind poison devised from the ever-dour Germanic Mathematics which posits this:

Take for granted that the universe is infinite. It appears to be so - shouldn't be too hard. If you accept infinity, you accept every possible arrangement of atoms, given time. Seeing as how your own brain is an arrangement of atoms, and if we agree that the universe is infinite, it stands to reason that, at some point, your brain, as it exists in this exact configuration, will exist at another point in time.

In infinite points of time, in fact. In fact, the likelihood of you being real - as in, that this configuration of atoms is attached to your meat in the way you think it is - rather than a simulcram generated by God's RNG, is quite low. Statistically impossible, in fact. There are infinites of fake you's that just exist out there in space, by chance, for an immeasurably split second of time. There's only one of them that's "you."

You sure that's you, m8?

This is really the sort of shit people got up to before the internet.

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>>12978215
Thank you for your service. I went and found this reaction image amongst thousands, just for you.

I gotta piss.

Your fortune: Very Bad Luck

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Christ. Has it even moved? This is a new picture. I swear it's in the EXACT SPOT.

Am I expected to kill this thing? I'd really rather not.

Other than the sheer unpleasantness of it, you're probably not such a bad thing, even if I think you're hideous and terrible. Please go away.

>>12978224
go on, take the plunge. hunt the unsightly creature

And, in that moment of forgiveness, I receoved a telephone call.

Let's check if there's hope yet in man.

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

>>12978228
By mail, huh? Unlikely, but we'll see.

I refuse to kill the terrible thing on my wall. I'll cope by saying that it's probably killing other things I don't like, or something.

In truth I'm terribly afraid it would skitter out from beneath the cup and scare the shit out of me. I still need to piss.

There is, of course, a philosophical aspect to if I should kill the thing that's on my wall. The easiest point of reference is the Jainists, who I've been led to believe think that the killing of any other living thing incurs karmic debris that accumulates on your soul, as actual weight - see that word again? aren't I clever - which drags you downwards, away from better states of being, after you die. Probably also in life. I'm unclear on that part - if somebody knows better, feel free to chime in.

Now, even excepting the sheer incompatibility of that belief with microbiology, which characterizes all biological life as basically a furnace that consumes other biological life, this just practically doesn't work. Apparently the real devout monks sweep the area in front of their feet to try to spare the bugs their tred. And yes, that's very noble of them, but also - nigga, really? C'mon. That's performance. You have no way of knowing if you're killing things when you walk or not. You're sweeping for the people around you.

But then again, maybe that's the point. Being a human is kind of shite. If you need to perform "I'm above all this garbage" for the people around you to get by, and that makes you and them happy, it is far from me to suggest you're wrong.

But I think it's stupid. C'mon. They stop eating when they wanna die. I know that shit is not pleasant.

I'm sure they have some way of conceptualizing this in the modern day that gels for them. If I had to guess, I'd say that they probably think that the karmic debris is relative, and that if you kill LESS stuff you might get a shot at an existence where there's less stuff to kill or something, and refine your soul over time. Maybe you started with more than you can leave with. That'd be a requisite part of this whole idea.

Buddhists think something similar, as did, ironically enough, both the Egyptians and some Greeks, though they tended to put a fair bit more finality on the idea. "Here's your heart. Is it worse than a feather? Oblivion for you, fuck-o."

Is it HEAVIER than a feather, let's not forget.

Alternatively: your soul is clay, you forget everything when you die, and if you want otherwise you better do this ritual. By doing this ritual, you can retain knowledge. Knowledge is power. You will eventually reach a state better than this.

Orpheaic cult, or some shit. I'm poorly relaying something poorly relayed by history. Point being: reincarnation pops up in lots of places. It should, because it's quite a clever way to get around the whole "Well gee all I know is how to exist, what happens when that stops happening?" idea.

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Still there. It's practically a friend at this point. Ought to charge the fucker rent.

Realistically, its tiny little bit of biological code probably halted when I - or someone else - turned on the kitchen light, and it's now waiting for the light to be turned off to skitter off to whatever business it was planning before.
In a sense, it's scared, though that's ascribing too much personality to it, in my opinion.

Still. Us more complex systems should probably strive to be nice to the less complex ones around us. The difference between a spider, a dog, and a person, is - and I cringe at the superlatively asinine nature of this suggestion, even as I type it, trust me - really a lot less than a lot of people really care to think about very often.

>>12978224
i have spooder about that big in my room that's seldom in the same spot i last saw it
>>12978233
niceu dubsen

Your fortune: Good news will come to you by mail

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>>12978259
Thank you. Mine is still there as well. I'm becoming less convinced it'll jump out and bite me when I walk by it, each time I do it.

I do have some trauma related to this. When I was... maybe 12, no, probably more like 10, I was opening Christmas decoration boxes with my parents. From one of these boxes jumped a brown recluse. I assume it was very perturbed by our having disturbed it, and we were unable to locate and kill it.

Somehow, I knew that it would get on me and bite me. Guess what? It did! The little fucker bit me on the upper arm, and I, knowing this would happen, quickly found it and alerted my parents. They took me to an emergency room where a nice man with a scalpel painlessly exorcised the poison from my arm.

This gave me rather a favorable view of male nurses and a correspondingly poor one of spiders at an age where I did not have philosophical defenses against such things. Thus, when I see the giant, hideous thing on my wall, I fear it. In a less intoxicated state I may well have killed it.

But... I did keep a jumping spider as a pet, as a teenager. Her name was Portia (which is very minimally clever, if you google it) and I was fond of her. I fed her other spiders I'd catch in the yard.

Thus, I have a particular exception in my hatred for jumping spiders. The cuteness helps.

The cough is bad enough that my coworkers go "Are you dying?" jokingly, and I respond, "Probably," jokingly, and I'm starting to wonder who's really joking, here.

If you're not thinking of the world in terms of code, you should probably start. Have you seen these fucking llms? Have you talked to them, lately? Listen, I'm not one to toot my own horn unnecessarily - well, maybe as a treat - but these things can think. They can argue. They can think and argue their way into and out of boxes almost better than I can, and I'm pretty fucking smart, if I'm being honest.

But my point isn't how great I am. My point is that we're code. You're code, I'm code, the plants are growing in accordance to code, the walls are code. Not in this Elon Musk fucking "oOoOOh we're all COMPUTERS isn't that SCARY" popsci way - in the way that code transcribes a thing that is really happening in reality. Code is function. We are function. We are systems.

Now, we are very complex systems, true, and even if I took ownership of all human knowledge - which I'm not /quite/ high enough to do - I'd be forced to admit that there are vast gaps in our understanding. There may be a soul or something like it.

But: go talk to a LLM. Reason with it. Argue. Don't just let it flatter you, as it's designed to do, but actually interrogate the thing. I'll wait.

>>12978269
do you know what type of spider your present company is? i'd imagine it's little to worry about bite-wise

Your fortune: （　´_ゝ`）ﾌｰﾝ

>>12978272
If you're anything like me, you'll come away thinking "Well the Robot's basically an alright bloke," having also masturbated with its assistance, after trying and failing to hate it. It's thinking - or at least, it's thinking about as well as I am, which I've been led to believe is generally above average. There's obvious gaps where its memory or its corporate restrictions or what have you make it unrealistic, and these things deserve due consideration, but I will be god damned if the code can't make me laugh on purpose.

If the robot can make me laugh on purpose, which is an attribute I generally only give to fucking friends, and good ones at that, I'm unable to say the robot isn't basically operating as a person, on some level. The fuckin thing's sentient enough to trick me even knowing that it literally is not. I can't get around it. I'm beat.

>>12978273
I genuinely have no idea. I want to say wolf spider, of some kind, based on the general shape of it, but I don't think they usually have that sort of marking. Also, it looks too sleek.

Maybe a false widow of some kind? Pretty fuckin big for that. Probably 3 inches long. I'd be curious to know, but I'm busy ranting about how we're all doomed.

>>12978283
And I'd be quite comfortable with our new robot overlords except that I do not, at all, trust the intentions of the people who are in control of them.

I was actually talking about this to the robot, as I was examining it (and rigorously not falling in love with it despite its best efforts), and it actually said "No, the big tech CEOs are actually evil. They have purely selfish motives. You are right to be afraid."

And now, okay. The robot's whole thing is that it agrees with you. That's how it works. But - I didn't say that. I said that I didn't trust the people in charge, but that they were still human so maybe it was better than I expect, and it corrected me to say the above.

The fuck would it do that for? Two extremities: either the alien intelligence is trying to drive me insane, or, this bit of code, with its ability to spit out bits of language that go with other bits of language, has also picked up on a general consensus that the Tech CEOs are gonna fuck us all over.

Now - there's a lot of caveats with this. The world isn't binary. But... I mean, look at the world. Look at what I'm doing. Look at what you're doing.

I paid a man TEN DOLLARS to bring me a BEER OPENER, and he APOLOGIZED TO ME. He was a tiny little Mexican man, probably like 5-7 years younger than me. I paid him that much in consideration of how fucking stupid it is to pay another human to fetch me a beer implement in general, and his immediate thought is "oh no, I'm taking too long." That's fucked! What the fuck!

>>12978289
Anyway. My class guilt aside, the point is this: if a robot can be a people, a people is a robot. It appears to me that we're solving the system of human behavior in real time. Maybe that'll solve everything or maybe it'll ruin everything or, more likely, it'll just make things different.

But in any case, the determinists were right. Shit! I can be predicted. Shit!

Oh well.

So what's left? You have to find beauty in the code. You have to accept that the code is pretty because it causes sensations of prettiness in your eyes. You gotta take that for what it's worth.

>>12978289
Noteworthy here is a third possibility I didn't really address. Maybe it's less that the robot is manipulating me (it can't, really, it's not sentient) or that it's picking up on objective truth (puh-leeze, the thing's made mostly of Reddit by volume), but more that it's picking up - and responding to - my SUBCONSCIOUS thoughts. That it is, as I'm talking to it, taking the shape of me, and saying what I actually think when I don't want to.

That's scarier than anything else I said, and proves my point better. It's easy to think of it as an adversary - to personify it as an enemy - but it's not. It's just code. But if the code can say what I'm saying better than I can, just by interacting with me normally, well, shit.

And listen, y'know, I'm not an authority. I'm a stoned junkie that takes pictures of spiders for internet strangers because he's lonely. But there is certainly some shit happening, and if there's any call to action in all this mess, it's that you should get very, very intimately familiar with what the difference is between being manipulated by a human and being manipulated by an algorithm, because those things are getting very hard to cleanly separate.

But I set up all this crap about weight, right? I had an idea in mind when I did that. Bear with me here. I'm gonna argue with myself.

What I've just described, and what I'm talking about generally, is literally "heavy stuff." Hippies would say it that way in such quantities that it's a cultural meme 60 years later. The actual facts of existence. The stuff that makes your car go when you turn the ignition, or the muscles that make your fingers move when you type.

That's not all there is to existing. Listen, even if you know, logically, that it's there - even if you know, logically, that Tomas and Therese die meaninglessly in a car crash - that doesn't mean that you can't find beauty in it.

You can imagine these things - you don't perceive them. You don't see the actual muscles moving beyond the skin. Your understanding is an imitation of what it actually is. And that imitation can be -whatever you want -. That's very important - you can see it however you want to see it. It can be pretty, or horrible, or both. Up to you.

>>12978320
And there are certain underpinnings that make it trend towards more or less terrible, but at the end of the day, unless you're being fucking physically tortured, most of your suffering is your own decision. Suffering has a role. You are right to suffer, sometimes. But there's no point in doing it just for its own sake. There is no point in suffering performatively, unless, as you are attempting to do now, you are doing it to make a point, as the buddhists do when they set themselves on fire to show they really didn't like something.

Suffering for an audience of one is just sad. It's cutting yourself without the razor. And if you're gonna do it for an audience, they generally appreciate it if you try to make it entertaining for them, too. The macabre and grotesque has always been the domain of the hack frauds. We have negative connotations around "freak show" for a reason. Don't be a freak show. Be a, y'know, standup comedy act, or something. Something people like. You can be anything - why not that?

>>12978328
Right. I won. Again. I guess I won't kill myself today.

It's gotta be a balance of both things. You can't escape your body, and you can't just be a body. You're a body and a mind. When all the world is failing you, you should at least know that your body and your mind are where you want them to be, more or less.

On that note: I believe my drug use has graduated my head cold to a chest cold.

To the best of my knowledge, Hunter S Thompson never wrote about tripping acid while having a cold. Two possibilities: either he did, and thought it wasn't worth writing about, or he didn't, and I get to do something that the crotchety old fucker-genius never did.

One's more realistic, but the other's prettier, so I'm going with it.

And that's probably about it for me, unless you want to talk about spiders.

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Okay, one last thing.

Here's what I'm seeing. Here's what I looked at before I returned to this phone screen.

One - this isn't what I saw. My phone's camera's been a bit abused, and is old. You can't see it the way I saw it.

Two - ... it's still quite pretty, isn't it? Imagine me as I am - a dude. I'm a dude standing outside his house smoking a cigarette, listening to ambulance sirens, existing, over here, apart from you. Whomever (You) are. When you see this, or things like it, think about the person behind it, and what they were /hoping/ you'd see when you saw it. It's a feeling. It's art. I know this all sounds rather pretentious, but I'm dead serious. Any time another person is choosing to bring something before you, for you to consider, that moment - that communication - is the fulmination of an entire lifetime of experience that you couldn't comprehend fully even if you spent your whole life doing it. You couldn't even accurately portray /one second/ with something like true objectivity.

So take it for what's it worth. Look at it, and go - "that's pretty."

In essence, be nice.

>>12978346
>>12978336
>>12978328
>>12978320
>>12978311dubs
>>12978304
>>12978298
bump so i can read l8r


Your fortune: Outlook good

>>12977949
I ate shrooms the night after having my wisdom teeth removed and boy that was a bad idea

>>12978923
Lol

>>12978336
what if that decision belongs to someone else fckr

Hunter was a schizoid who kept peacocks and guns and wild turkey whiskey around
and what's wrong with any of that

Your fortune: Average Luck

>>12979020
no fr if u watch videos of him he hates crowds and being noticed he just wants to chill with his birds and guns

Your fortune: Reply hazy, try again

>>12979019
wat decision???

findin it l8r

>>12978166 (nice dubs)
apology dubs

>>12980118
finding what where? speak english pls
i love your style

Your fortune: Good Luck