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it's free attention what's the worst that could happen

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hi give me attention now

>>34678665
Hi this is me giving you attention hello how are you?

>>34678668
I'm tired and kinda in pain, what about you
thanks for the attention

>>34678674
I'm tired but not in pain. Why are you in pain?
You're very welcome for the attention thank you for receiving it

>>34678679
I fell on my knees on purpose so that I can skip today.. gulp..

what are your interests? giving people attention?

>>34678685
Why'd you want to skip so bad? It's dangerous to hurt yourself like that, especially your knees. Try to be kind to yourself.
Giving people attention is my main interest these days, I also like staying up far too late, and listening to obscure music. What about you anon, what do you like to do?

>>34678693
I don't like my school and I had an exam I barely studied for. I'd rather be in pain than get a bad grade again.

what's your favorite song? lately all I do is play vidya and 4chan

>>34678700
You need to be 18+ to post here, faggot.

>>34678700
It's painful to be in pain anon. Why are you having trouble studying enough? School is unpleasant but it's important to learn a lot you know.
I don't really have a favorite song. Lately I've liked Hanayo's Les Sucettes. What vidya do you play?
I think we talked on r9k earlier, you had a dream the other day

>>34678701
How are you doing this night anon?

>>34678716
>Why are you having trouble studying enough?
I think I'm in a rough patch of life again but it'll be fine like always

aaa I can't believe it's you again, why are we always here?

the song kinda reminds me of unpledged alliance by crxw (but I like my song more lol). I lately play shooters, psycho-horror and vns but my aim is sadly so bad

>>34678742
Just keep moving forward and you'll be fine. Everything usually works out in the end.
I'm here way too much I need to find other things to do with my life
Hanayo is pretty abrasive so I don't blame you for preferring your song. Psychological horror is fun. I haven't been playing much of anything lately but I like those and shooters. Even if your aim is bad as long as you're having fun it's fine.

I've got to go to bed I'm dyig, see you around anon. Try to stay safe.

>>34678665
okie, give discord

>>34678762
okay, goodnight anon and sleep well
I'll also take a nap now :>

>>34678769
nvm I've gotten enough attention, maybe next time

>>34678773
>napping at 3am
anon pls
>>34678769
Would you also like attention or are you only interested in giving it?

I want attention from a girl, no yucky boys!

@trueheart77 on discord

im a teen girl looking for someone i can ramble to about my day, im not looking for anything nsfw (forgive my burner account, of course i'll give you my real one if your intentions are pure), just someone pleasant, maybe lonely, who’s accepting of my ailments. i like history and literature, we could talk about this.

>>34680041
Beggars can't be choosers and you get what you pay for anon

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Free attention it's so safe and normal

i am currently fighting off a panic attack

>>34681735
You'll be ok anon just remember to breathe. Try to take deep, slow breaths, it might help if you close your eyes and focus on the sensation of air entering your nose. What triggered it?

>>34681735
You are going to be okay <3

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>>34681735
Hope your panic lost anon

35 F UK here with a soft, smooth, slim body, blonde hair, small boobs and a fat ass. Looking to make friends! :) I wasn't being sexual describing myself just trying to give you an idea of what I look like. Please no weirdos!

I can send pics here and there while we chat but don't just ask for more. Just mention fat ass or British in opening message please so I know you read everything. :)


05c1c40a7090f8f4
6e3a0a579e539700
4640a7eb7aebba3bd
69a518379d5d4c573

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>>34681944

Does anyone here know where I put my keys? I would like to go to the store and buy bagels and cream cheese. ty in advance

>>34682189
Over there. You're welcome.

M22 just woke up really horny again. Now downstairs but bro and sis are down here with me. Pls hmu and send me anything to make my cock throb around them. Make me bulge through my pants so much that they might look over and see. Make me nervous they’ll start wondering why my cock is so hard. And please if u can fake my celeb crush in any way. Pics, vids, nudify, caps, AI, any of it would make me throb!
Willing to show off if u help me out.
If u just come begging for pics you will be ignored.
Pls HMU, anyone and anything welcome!
Session
051c8e6f774ab979
d1379a65580e607
f97c0fd4161e154c7
57d438dd2a6a73d92b

>>34682593
ty anon I'm gonna go get bagels now

>>34682633
Were they good? Please review them for me I haven't eaten in three days.

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>>34682855
you can have this tasty box food, if you want. it's in a box, that makes it tastier.

>>34682882
It looks so tasty especially the box thank you anon I'm going to eat it all even the box

>>34682921
you shouldn't eat the box, because it's made out of carboard, probably. if you eat it, you'll become a tree.

M22 downstairs alone right now but bro and sis are somewhere upstairs. Please hmu and send me anything to make my cock throb and make me jerk to whatever you send. Help me goon my cock away while I’m nervous they might come downstairs and see me. Make me take my cock out against my better judgement because I’m so addicted to what you send. Drive me deep and corrupt me. And please if u can fake my celeb crush in any way. Pics, vids, nudify, caps, AI, any of it would make me throb!
Willing to show off if u help me out!
Pls HMU, anyone and anything welcome!
Session
051c8e6f774ab979
d1379a65580e607
f97c0fd4161e154c7
57d438dd2a6a73d92b

>>34682932
The box looks so tasty. I like cards and I'm on a board right now why not combine them into a delicious snack? Being a tree isn't so bad anyway. Trees are large and everyone loves them. I am small and no one loves me. This is a win win.

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>>34682941
i'll love you even if you're not a tree. i have no idea how to climb trees anyway.

>>34682944
You would love me more if I was a tree. Even if you can't climb me you could sit in the shade I make and eat a tasty box of food. Wouldn't that be nice?

it would, but i don't have any more tasty boxes. you ate the last one. so there's no point anymore...

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>>34682954
Look I found a tasty box of tacos for you! There is still a point you can still be in my shade on a hot summer day eating a tasty box of food. There's even enough for you to share with your friends

>>34682971
i don't really like tacos. they're too big and difficult to hold. i have no idea how to eat them. it gets so messy.. but if you want me to eat them then i will anyway, even if it's messy. thank you very much for your pretty box of tacos. now i can sit in your share as much as you want me to. you're my only friend, so i won't share with anyone.

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>>34682998
I didn't know I am so sorry for giving you too big messy food please forgive me. I am a big tree so all human food looks small to me. Please accept these very tiny tacos they are easy to hold and won't make a mess. I want you to sit in my shade all day it is comforting to have someone around. You're my only friend too so I'll only share food with you.

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i like your little tacos much more. they look cute and nice. i'll eat as many of them as you want me to. then i'll live in your shade forever, cuz i'll always have tasty tiny tacos to eat.

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>>34683025
I'm so happy you like them. I made them myself, I'm a tiny-taco tree look at how fruitful I am! I hope you do stay forever I'll make lots of shade for you so it's very comfy. You're the best friend I've ever had.

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>>34683037
that's so pretty. i haven't seen anything so pretty in a while. you're the best tree in the world. no wonder i love you so much.

>>34683044
Thank you so much for saying that. All the other trees stay away from me so I have very low self esteem but you are helping me heal. I love you even more because you are so kind and nice to me. You're the best human in the world.

>>34683055
i think it's nice that trees stay away from each other. that means they have the space to be alone and grow and enjoy the quiet stillness of the earth. it's not because they hate you, they just respect you. but i'm not a human at all.

>>34683061
Us trees do need our space but they won't send their roots over to me so I can't even talk to them. I tried once and they withdrew their roots before I could make contact. I was so sad I lost all my leaves. The quiet stillness of the earth is beautiful but I always wanted a friend to share that with. I'm so bad at recognizing non-tree species what are you friend?

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trees are supposed to lose their leaves sometimes, so that's okay. it's okay to be sad too, because being sad feels nice. i can't tell you what i am in public. what if someone ugly is watching? and that's private.

>>34683083
It's so embarrassing to lose my leaves then all the other trees see my branches. I don't like feeling sad it's so...sad. I prefer being happy. I hope you're happy too because you're my friend. We're not in public we're alone in a field and you're in my shade, safe. No one ugly is allowed here everything is beautiful and free.

>>34683089
if you don't like feeling sad then i'll be sad for you instead. i'm happy being sad, so it's okay. maybe i'm nothing at all? you already know about me anyway.

>>34683094
How can you be happy when you're sad? If you're sad then I'll be sad too at least we can be sad together. You're not nothing, you're my friend sitting in my shade enjoying the tacos I drop for you. Did we meet before, in a dream?

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>>34683105
mhm, we did. so you already know who i am. i don't know if it was a dream. maybe this is a dream? i like dreaming a lot. i like being still when i dream about things. i dreamt about trying drugs today. i don't really know anything about drugs, but i like the idea of them.

>>34683113
Maybe it's all dreams and we wake from one just to enter another. When I dream I dream of people I've never seen, talking to them about things I've never done. I have tried drugs in this dream I'm in now. I don't recommend them they can get out of hand so fast and then your dream will turn bad. There are better things, laying in the sun with your eyes closed feeling the heat on your skin and listening to the birds. It's a softer feeling than drugs but it's sustainable.

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my skin is sensitive so i'll burn up in the sun really fast. but its okay if i'm in your shade, so it's okay. you're gonna protect me. birds sound nice too, but sometimes they're too noisy, like gulls, or ducks. you're a tree so you'll have lots of birds living on you. i have a pretty picture of a bird in a tree but it won't let me upload it here.

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i'm so lonely anons. i went on a walk with a friend earlier today and it wasn't BAD it just felt like nothing, even though we made jokes and stuff.

during covid i started frequenting soc and i would talk to people constantly. i kind of miss it, even though it wasn't good for me

25 m, US
tall muscular white guy, fat 9 inch dick

Looking for women who are secretly size queens and unhappy with their partner’s size. Let’s chat about it. Judgement free zone!

discord jmp.joy

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>>34683140
nothing is good for you anyway.

>>34683138
Stay in my shade then the sun can't hurt you there. All the birds that live on me sing nice songs. No ugly noises are allowed. Maybe I'll see that bird in a tree in a dream tonight. Maybe if the image is made smaller it'll fit on the board.
>>34683140
It's hard to feel connected even irl. Talking to people here when you're lonely isn't so bad as long as it doesn't displace your irl relationships

>>34683158
>as it doesn't displace your irl relationships
Oops

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>>34683158
i like things that are really big. when something is really really bug then i don't feel bad about being small at all. like it doesn't even matter. it wouldn't make a difference anyway. and i like not making a difference a lot.

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>>34683158
i used to be very connected with this person, but now everyone feels meh. i want attention but i'm not sure from who exactly... still figuring that part out.

>>34683155
why are you being schizophrenic

M22 home alone for idk how long, looking to have a little bit of fun before anyone comes back. Pls hmu and send anything to get my cock hard and throbbing. Make me so big I can’t help but take my cock out and goon away. Make me so deep into it I may get caught if someone gets back. Drive me deeper into my addiction and slowly corrupt my cock. And please if u can fake my celeb crush in any way. Pics, vids, nudify, caps, AI, any of it would make me throb!
Willing to show off if u help me out.
Pls HMU, anyone and anything welcome!
Session
051c8e6f774ab979
d1379a65580e607
f97c0fd4161e154c7
57d438dd2a6a73d92b

>>34683162
Gotta balance it to be max healthy but what do I know? I only talk to people online.
>>34683169
Big things are intimidating they could crush me. I'm glad I'm a tree and bigger than most. There's nothing wrong with being small but it must be scary. Why don't you want to make a difference? You sat in my shade and made me feel better about losing all my leaves, that's a good difference to make.

>>34683170
>but now everyone feels meh
Are you depressed perhaps? Or maybe you just want something new in your life. Tired of the same faces and the same things. It happens. No real harm in finding some people here to talk to just to see what happens.

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The low low price of free

>>34680057
Minor btw

27m. I'm an actual psychologist and I enjoy answering your weird fucking questions/giving actual advice/just listening so if you'd like hmu.
My kik is emtvtr

Searching for a job while seeing everyone be incompetent is a humiliation ritual that won’t be properly described until an epitaph is raised against this crooked generation

i want to die so much. i have never wanted to die as much as i want to right now and i hate how i am a burden to everyone around me
i suck
i can't believe i am this bad

>>34687116
What happened anon? *hug*

>>34687120
i can't find a job and it's been 7 months. i can't stand it anymore, i feel worthless...

>>34687124
You aren’t worthless anon. The job market is shit. It’s tricky to even get an interview even at McDonalds in some places. It isnt your fault<3

>>34687130
man i have a decent degree, i spent many years studying just to be ghosted, i am not even getting feedback emails at this point
i dont understand why i spent so long studying something that wouldn't land me a job to sustain myself

>>34687132
What degree was it anon (if you want to share). Job-searching is extremely demoralizing. It doesn’t reflect your worth.

>>34687135
i have an electrical eng degree. did a masters too

>>34687140
That’s impressive anon. I barely have my associates. I’m sure it’s a competitive field? I’m sorry you are so discouraged<3

>>34687156
associates? what is that anon? either way, the fact you studied something means you are capable and responsible

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I'm fighting so hard against failure, but I'm... failing. It doesn't feel like I should try anything I have been anymore, it feels like I should escape. I havent done anything for anyone and I cant, even my gf. If only I was attractive and women liked me. Yeah I know I probably sound like a loser that deserves my suffering. Im so angry at this world. Leaving my tag cuz fuck it
>discord: dvndty

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Everything is terrible
Everything is nice
Sometimes I get hungry
So I make curry rice

My soul is cold
My heart is bitter
When I make tea
I often use ginger

I have no plans
No country too
What worth are my actions
At least I am not a jew

I am not happy nor sad
I can not love nor hate
I do not drink nor do I smoke
I do not even masturbate

Girls find me exotic
I do not consider myself human
I ask that the Lord forgive me.
If I ever trust a women

So I thread my bad rhymes
As I type my bad tale
I wish to repent of my crimes,
So that I may leave this hell.

>>34687179
associates is a 1-2 year degree program^^

>>34687124
Don’t equate your self worth to what job you hold anon :( That’s what a shitty late capitalistic society would want you to think. Every degree is meaningful and worth something, even an art degree or a philosophy degree or whatever you choose to study. Your life doesn’t deserve to be ruined because we get rushed into a career path we aren’t even completely sure of at an age where our frontal love isn’t even developed. As someone who is studying what is generally considered a “useless” degree, I am still developing skills that can land me jobs in other industries. Not to mention a lot of people work jobs unrelated to their degree anyway.

>>34687536
thank you, wait so, is this what people call a community college degree? or are they different too?
>>34687539
i agree with you, i think all degrees are worth something, but i dont know. more than the whole rush or anything, it hurts to know that i was the only idiot of my whole generation that didnt find a job. it leads me to think i am extremely incompetent or there is something wrong with me. whats yout degree, anon?

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>>34683140
why did it feel like nothing, what did you want it to feel? I went for a walk yesterday and it was really fun, we were always making each other laugh and smiling. Though slightly melancholy too because we are in a uni course together that ends in the spring after next. We have just over a year of friendship left, as compared to when we began being friends and we had about 4 left. Soon we will have 1, then less than 1, then a few weeks. It will be sad as fuck, I’ll miss him, I’ll hope we can stay in touch and hang out occasionally, though we will meet no where near as often as we do for uni, and it will be weird walking aimlessly without a uni lecture later. I guess we could play games together.

And I used to frequent soc a lot too, and still do really. I met 2 long term friends on soc, 1 sort of relationship. I also made 2 long term friends on Omegle before it was taken down. And soc is kinda dead too, I never meet anyone who I’d wanna be friends with off here, it feels empty and old and dead.

I have also been feeling very horny most of the time recently, and I’ve tried meeting girls online to fuck irl but to no fruition. The only realistic way I could think of would be to meet girls through friends. I am decently attractive, but I don’t wanna make a bunch of empty friendships for the only purpose of using them to meet girls but I guess I’ll have to in order to get laid. There was this nerdy annoying af guy in my very small friend group who has attatched himself onto this weird friend group of guys and girls, where the guys are insecure and loud and annoying and like to think they are popular, and the girls crave male attention and join them. I never see the girls speaking to each other. Anyway, I don’t wanna join them. Or I could join a society at uni and try to make friends that way. Or guy friends online to go to bars with to meet girls? Idk, it is so much effort just so I can plop plop plop on some ass. Idk.

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I know this isn't exactly a NSFW thread but I want attention from white guys so...

Please contact unwoundead on discord if you are a white guy interested in brown girls showing themselves for you

>>34687186
Keep fighting anon. Things get harder and easier. It oscillates. As long as you don't give up you can get through it.
>>34687330
thank you for poem. I miss 2004.
>>34688542
If this is a real post you may want to provide more information about who you are and what you want

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Need attention and love from online strangers? Join our discord and our qt egirls will make you feel good about your life or you can shit talk them to make them feel good

https://discord.gg/kQRryWrYYf

>>34689518
Is something bothering you to make you not sleep? What's going on with your mother?
A lot of guys treat their girlfriends like shit. It's sad. I used to know this girl who was so sweet and her "boyfriend" was this serial cheater, abusive prick. Didn't give a shit about her. Made me so mad. She left him eventually but it took a lot of effort on her part, I think she felt like she didn't deserve any better. Always told her she did, she could get a great guy, she was sweet and pretty and deserved happiness. Don't know if she ever really believed it but at least she left him in the end. Point is, stick with her and be her friend and try to make her see how shit he is but don't be so forceful that she feels she has to decide between you and him.

>>34689538
The cptsd stuff explains it all. I used to have a lot of trouble sleeping too, no cptsd but a lot of stress and some bad environments. Sucks being tired all the time. Dreams can suck too, I used to get a lot of nightmares made me dread falling asleep.
She's better now but we've lost touch over the years. That's a good place for her to be at. If he does some shit again you might have to give her a little push but she'll probably leave. It's horrible some of the shit people do their partners. Hopefully she leaves him asap.

M22 late night horny looking for a little risky fun around bro and sis. Looking to be sent anything to make my cock throb near them without them noticing. Pls make my bulge so big that I risk them noticing and make me nervous. Make me go so deep that I touch my cock when I know they’re right there and could look over at any moment. Drive me deep into my addiction and make me not able to stop. And please if u can fake my celeb crush in any way. Pics, vids, nudify, caps, AI, any of it would make me throb!
Willing to show off if u help me out!
Pls HMU, anyone and anything welcome!
Session
051c8e6f774ab979
d1379a65580e607
f97c0fd4161e154c7
57d438dd2a6a73d92b

>>34689578
It's a good sign to be having chill dreams. I get that waking up thing a lot too. I've only had sleep paralysis once in my life and it was horrible. Didn't know what was happening, knew there was something right behind me out of sight, could hear it whispering. Hated that experience. Getting that often is terrible, sorry you have that. At least you have a trick for getting out of it. Does anything help with your sleep? I've tried meds, exercise, therapy, not much ever did anything other than time passing.

>>34687539
i know this is double replying at it looks bad, but i have felt a lot better thanks to your message. thank you. i really hope good things happen to you anon

>>34690006
Do you take that every night? Sucks that nothing works consistently for you.

>>34689829
I don't think anyone minds a double reply. I'm not them obviously but you seem nice anon, I hope good things happen to you too.

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>>34689506
Let me innnnn

24 f usa
Drop your telegram if you want at least a 5 minute voice note talking about my problems and how I’m useless and annoying and better off dead :) Happy attention seeking to all others

>>34689829
Ofc! I wish the same for you too anon

Life is good, I just want female attention from someone who plays WoW

30M for F
I’ll give u attention

SFR6X954T
Snap: ds6183
Dc: thefunkyduckk

This is so oddly specific but I have a visceral hatred for how my boobs look. No joke I actually probably have the ugliest flattest tits out of any girl who’s posted nudes on this board. I have loose skin all over my body because I grew up obese and I wasn’t able to loose the weight until I moved out for college when I was like 17. And now I’m stuck with ugly loose skin all over my body but its especially noticeable on my arms and boobs and it makes me so upset. I genuinely would just kms if I don’t get a breast lift by the time I’m 25. I can reasonably save up for one before then, but part of me is considering just getting a sugar daddy to fund it to speed up the process.

>>34693672
Well now I need to see them
Disc: wilardjohnson. (Period included)

>>34693672
Posts heartfelt history of growth and change and how they feel about themselves and what they don’t like

>>34693701
Immediately asks to see what person doesn’t like and probably doesn’t want to show

-.-

>>34693788
Yea a good portion of the men who post here are just retarded and touch starved lmao. Its crazy to think for most of my life I was suicidal just because most of the male population found me unattractive. I mean I still am but for other reasons.

>>34693788
people will see an insecure girl and try to take advantage of them, so typical and weird

>>34693788
>post about tits on an nsfw mongolian basketweaving sext forum
>oh em gee why do these silly boys want to see my tits!
The women that post here are disgustingly vain narcissists who justify their narcissism by pretending to be fucking retarded, and cultivate a cloud of orbiters who are genuinely retarded.

>>34693822
Definitely an interesting take, and in my experience there are a lot of women like this, but I’ve recently met a few great women to talk to and it’s been enjoyable having real conversations when you don’t objectify them.

Meanwhile the men aren’t much better, the catfishing, the obscene number of ex/gf leakers looking to trade is exhausting

>>34693842
Yeah the men on here are largely disgusting, but unlike the women on here they don't try to act like they're not.
If a SFW soc board were made the worst of the men would disappear while the vapid narcissist women would remain.

>>34693815
Its not weird, people have been taking advantage of insecure girls for god knows how long. Why do you think the beauty industry makes as much money as it does? Or why bbls became such a popular cosmetic procedure despite it being arguably most dangerous to perform. Men would fuck a rock if it had curves, so honestly some of them taking the opportunity to take advantage of girls on the internet is the tip of the iceberg.

>>34693131
@Bundero
I like gossip, this shit better be good

>>34693672
I don't have any advice on that but congrats on the weight loss that can be really to do. I hope you can feel good about your body in the future.

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I've entered into a new arc of my sexual abuse recovery where I've become so disenchanted with recovery that now I'm just trying to brute force Stockholm syndrome. I realized how good it felt when I got drunk one night and was talking with a buddy about it (I literally cannot refrain from TD'ing when drunk) and as I talked about it, I said "it was a good thing (big sis's name) did all that stuff right? So I could learn" expecting him to disagree but instead he egged me on and kept agreeing with me. I don't know if he did it because he actually agreed that it was normal or if he was just horny and wanted to hear me say I deserved my abuse, but ever since then, I've been trying to get myself to see things more from the side that my abuser actually loved me and all of this wasn't as weird as it looks and that I'm not a victim because that hurts way, way less.

>>34695028
Did your abuser ever get charged? Were there ever consequences?p

>>34695028
If it helps you feel better about it then you do you, but trying to get people to tell you deserved it doesn't seem healthy. There's probably some value to trying to understand why your abuser did it but romanticizing the abuse might be a bad idea. I've seen other people who did similar and then tried to get into situations where they could be abused again. There's not a right or wrong way to deal with things though anon.

>>34695042
No. And she's never going to be. I don't think I could handle that, and it would totally blow up my entire family. Plus, it won't undo any of the harm done; that's years too late to be cathartic.

>>34695043
It just hurts so much less to think she at least did it in some part due to love (and I know some part of it was, this was ten years' worth of abuse and not the physical kind), but obviously the vast majority of it was just very sick perversion.

Even now, I have to stop myself from making excuses on her behalf. It's all I want to do these days.

>>34695049
Ten years is a really long time. It's hard to know why anyone does anything. She may have had some reason or thought process behind it that in her world made sense, but to you it was abuse and you have to live in your own reality. Some people deal with that stuff by trying to re-enact it safely with a partner, some try to forget it, some stay angry forever or twist it in their mind until it becomes something they think was good. I don't think the latter two ever work well. Have you tried therapy for this? It works for some people, not as a cure but it can help a little.

>>34695063
I have been going to therapy for a long, long time but only recently have I gotten a therapist that I've really made progress with. She's gotten things out of me that no human alive ever has; it's almost eerie how good she is. When I'm not with her though, it's usually just my eating disorder or endless hours of video games. Anything to just not think about it, ya know? I'm very much the avoidant type.

>>34695069
A good therapist goes a long way. That's usually the main barrier for people so if you got past it that's great and keep at it. Maybe it would help if you tried to find more things to occupy your time with? Video games are great but you could branch out: movies, reading, drawing. Some kind of self expression might be really good for you, you don't have to be good at it just get your feelings out in an abstract way.

night bump does anyone have pictures of vans with free candy signs? I need more

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bump

Does anyone know how I could kill myself in the easiest and most painless way??
I'm thinking of ending it sometime this year and I really don't want to fuck up and become a living vegetable. I also don't have access to guns.

Bump btw

I've been really depressed and extremely suicidal since the start of december Not because of my shitty living situation or always being broke, but because i lost the person who i considered my best friend (someone i met on this board) because of my mental issues (anxiety, clinginess, adhd) but slipping into depression was the final straw. I honestly regret ever telling them i struggled with suicidal thoughts. The first few months of the friendship felt amazing and went great. honestly it was the happiest i think i've felt in the last 5 years.

Eventually i got a crush on this person and i confessed, which they rejected but said if he spent more time with me long term there'd be a possibility but desu i don't think we would be compatible which really hurts me to say. Anyways the friendship ended because i was too needy and clingy for them.

i don't know when the clinginess started but during our friendship we talked every day, and the first time i didnt hear anything back for 3 days i thought i was ghosted. i don't remember my mental state at the time but i think i did feel a bit sad. Obviously they came back and everything was amazing until all my negative emotions started to become worse at the start of december and they eventually could no longer emotionally support me. I would be extremely depressed, suicidal and anxious if i didn't hear back from them at our usual "texting times" among other things. I also kinda consciously attached my will to live to them being my friend because of how much i care about them and love them platonically. We had a talk about the state of our friendship and i learned that he didn't always like hanging out with me on a call but didn't say anything for months which makes me feel so confused about the whole friendship.

>>34702062
They also said we may be able to continue our friendship if i fix my mental health issues. I want to give 20 days to a month to text them back and mention my progress but i'm so scared they won't want me back and i don't know if i could handle hearing that, i'm scared i'll hurt myself.

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>>34702065
Me mamas la verga ahora o nunca pendeja

>>34695028

I wanted power and control over the hoeing JEW had done because the damage was done at that point I just wanted you to enjoy yourself and cum screaming
I didn't for myself

can someone make a desktop rate thread and post it? i want to attentionwhore with my desktop and rate other people's desktops but i don't want to be the one to make the thread because then everyone would know im an eager retard

>>34702065
>>34702062
I don't know what to tell you exactly but it sounds like your mental state is really bad right now. I understand needing other people in your life, but when you rely on those external sources of stability you put yourself at a lot of risk. Working on your mental health is a great idea, but if you get betterish and then go back to them you need to try not to rely on them as a source of validation or good feelings. Generating those feelings internally is really important if you want to be better long term.
You should try therapy if you can, it sounds like it might help you.

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i feel like i can’t find my type of person anywhere, that i could deeply relate to and appreciate the same kind of beauty. it makes me feel more alien each day and so isolated. i stopped looking or interacting, so now the only time i open my mouth to speak is at work. i sort of made peace with it as marriage or children don’t interest me, so the “ticking clock” doesn’t apply to me, but within me there’s a depraved, deranged, desperate soul that can only be tamed by some 19th century dramatic vampire romance type shit. lol.

>>34703056
It's very hard to meet people when you want something out of the ordinary. You can find your person if you keep looking. It's weird to never speak, isn't it? I haven't said a word out loud in days. My voice feels like it doesn't work right any more. Atrophied and rusted over.
>19th century dramatic vampire romance type shit
Please say more about that

>>34703056
Give out some more general info about yourself

i wake up and cry myself back to sleep at 3 or 4 in the morning every day then i cry more in the afternoon after work and drink until i either throw up or fall asleep i'm so lonely ugly stupid and worthless

>>34703082
*Hugs*
You are pretty and your chest piercings are cool <3

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>>34703137
one of them is a lil struggly right now and this isn't getting me even tipsy after drinking nearly half of it. still feeling all the bad stuff probably gonna lie down on the floor and sleep because i dont really deserve a bed

>>34703182
It will look cool when it heals. I’d wanna get ones too but I am too regret-prone. I like your wavy hair. Sweet dreams nona:)

>>34703182
Sleep in your bed everyone deserves a good night's rest. Drink some water too so you aren't overly hungover tomorrow.

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give me attention and listen to my voice note vents. I’m blackpilled foid who wants to work hard to become cute
jewkillah on disc

>>34702759
>it sounds like your mental state is really bad right now.
It depends on the day but generally speaking my mental state is horrible. I've tried to kill myself 6 or 7 times since christmas, and i was about to try again 2 nights ago because i got in a fight with an irl friend. I'm worried about spiralling deeper even just for a day because of how bad i can get stuck in my head. especially when i'm not around people which is kind of the whole problem. I can't stand alone time anymore, i've been drinking at work and almost every 2nd day aswell as self harming.
if i'm not around literally any person and i get bad thoughts i'm a sobbing, hollow-chested mess for atleast an hour. I've been learning to fight these thoughts from surfacing but sometimes they come on instantly

>I understand needing other people in your life, but when you rely on those external sources of stability you put yourself at a lot of risk. Working on your mental health is a great idea, but if you get betterish and then go back to them you need to try not to rely on them as a source of validation or good feelings.

I honestly think i don't know the concept of internal stability nor generating my own happiness, i don't know how not to rely on others for my happiness, the only times i remember being happy in life besides when i was a kid was because i had friends, it's all i've ever really wanted out of life besides a relationship is to have great friends. I have hobbies and shit and i love music and animals, but even then i never felt like i could live solely off of enjoying my hobbies, i don't even think it's the depression speaking i feel like it's been that way since i was about 14? (19 now)

>>34703399
That sound so hard to deal with I'm sorry you're going through that. Are you able to try therapy at all? This really seems like something where you need a stable relationship with an expert to work through it. The drinking and the self harming are really concerning. Do you think there's a reason that you've been like this for so long? Sometimes it's just bad luck with how your brain works, but if there was an event or something maybe that would a thing to try to work through. Some people just need lots of interaction with other humans and that's not bad, but the way you feel when you're alone sounds so hard to live with.

>>34703399
:( i kinda get u fren. hope both of us can climb out of it eventually

>>34703421
It's very difficult, thank you anon.
>Are you able to try therapy at all? This really seems like something where you need a stable relationship with an expert to work through it.
I probably could have a therapist by now if i reached out to my family and asked about it, no one in my irl life knows how much i'm struggling right now and i'm too scared to say anything to anyone.
The self harm is part of that, i thought my roommates would suspect something if they see me with a new scratch or lighter burn on my arms but no one has said anything.
About the drinking, it's awful for me no doubt, especially since i don't bother with safe consumption and ALWAYS over-do it if i have enough alcohol. Drugs aren't good for me but it's been one of the best ways to cope even if its probably gonna bite me in the ass.
>Do you think there's a reason that you've been like this for so long? Sometimes it's just bad luck with how your brain works, but if there was an event or something maybe that would a thing to try to work through. Diagnosed AUDHD, bad childhood trauma because i had basically no friends until i was 13, where i met some great online friends and was in a friend group and played vidya with them. When i was around 15 or 16, the main guy of the group got a GF and ghosted about 8 people out of 10 in the group, including me. I think that was the catalyst for my issues particulary with online friendships. I've always considered them above IRL friendships, which i don't know is healthy or not, maybe i just have preference for online interaction but idk if that's mentally healthy or stable enough. I also had a friend that i had an awful falling out with prior to meeting my best friend, and things ended for the same reason, overventing, being too depressing, too clingy etc etc and i had a gut feeling when i first met my best friend that things would turn out the same. I was also friends with an actual narcissist but i don't feel like it left really any trauma.

>>34703476
Say something to someone. If there are people that can help you take advantage of that. I'm sure they'd want you to reach out.
I had to quit drinking because I always overdid it. I have no idea how people can just drink one glass of wine. I never get to where I want to be, it's another and another until I'm completely shitfaced. It's weird, if I'm not drinking I have no urge to. There's alcohol in the house and I don't even look at it. But if I poured a glass right now I'd drink the whole bottle.

I prefer online over IRL too. I don't think it's healthy but it works for me and I understand why you'd prefer it. I've been ghosted too and I had some childhood stuff as well. I went the opposite direction and became very aloof from others. It still hurts when I lose someone but I spend most of my time expecting them to leave. Which isn't healthy. But, it does seem like everyone goes away in the end. I think it's different IRL, people are less likely to ghost and it's harder to do.

My mother was a prostitute, she pimped me out to pedophiles. By the age of seven I had been raped so so brutally and in so many ways I thought it was normal.

After I started talking to other kids about what my mother had taught me, she beat the shit out of me. I thought she would never stop kicking me, one to the back of the ribs so I pull my hands down to guard my back then the next one to the face. All the while calling me a liar, telling me none of it had happened. Terrified I could only apologize. After that I blocked it all out.

I’m 32 now and it been almost 3 years since I’ve remembered.
Life was hard for awhile but I’ve found some things that helped and finally got to grow up.
It’s not something people really want to hear or talk about.

m seeking a girl or "girl" to share fantasies with
>into
degradation, corruption, humiliation, manipulation, bullying, noncon, brattiness, teasing, edging, power exchange, role reversal, worship, raceplay, ageplay.
>disc
scizoren283

>>34707429
You can talk about it if you want. What were the things you found that helped?

>>34693131
Ill bite Garigariku

>>34707429
im very interested in this sort of thing. add me on discord? my tag is occultrituals

>>34707435
Being able to share my story in therapy and support groups without being called a liar gradually help me accept I didn't need to live in her lie anymore while getting basic tips on how to manage emotions.
A book call traumasexuality helped me learn that many of the unexplainable social problems I had through my life were a result of natural defense mechanisms for someone who has been through what i had.
The passage of time really let me outlast the fear and paranoia the came with the ptsd of remembering so vividly.

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>got ghosted
>feels bad

>>34707732
Time has helped me a lot too. I didn't go through anything like what you did but trauma is trauma to some extent. Great that you're moving past it. I've known people with similar backgrounds and many of them were stuck in it even at a late age. It's a horrible thing.
How normal is your life now? I mean, are you enjoying it and able to stand on your own?

20 femboy uk

I am seeking extreme hate messages, bullying and harassment.

I want to be a proper woman. My parents are anti lgbt. Everyone around me is. Im struggling with life so much


Make me cry. Make me hurt. No limit at all

Discord kittenkisses15

>>34708519
Relative to how I have been for most of my, I’m am doing great stopped drinking and I’m off any kind of drug.
I have been lucky that some family and friends have supported me emotionally and financially when I was out of work.
I have some issues to overcome still but I am more hopeful than ever and day to day life has only gotten easier.

>>34707429
SDB is that you?

>>34707619
They need therapy not to divulge to someone who's going to be jerking off to their trauma.

>>34709248
Getting off of drink and drug is great man. I was stuck on both for a while too I know it's hard to quit. Keep that hope alive and you're gonna be a-ok in the end. Do you have any plans you're working on like life goals or anything like that?

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I was abused and neglected as a child and kicked out when I was 17, 21 now. I've learned to take care of myself, but in other aspects I'm a mostly defective human being. I'm extremely boring and dry and hardly have anything resembling a personality, I feel closer to an automaton running through the motions of life rather than an actual human being, I can hardly hold an amusing conversation let alone a fulfilling relationship. I am driven almost completely by fear rather joy, I've spent my entire life neurotically prevent failure rather than chasing success or joy. I have extremely difficulties expressing any emotion whatsoever.

I know I'm still young and have my whole life ahead of me, I'm just bitter about the fact that I'm completely undesirable and unappealing as a human being. The worst part is that I realize that in my state even though I've been utterly alone my entire life, I'll probably have to remain alone for quite a while longer, therapy I can't afford yet then years of building myself into a form that is worthy of love and respect.

I know there's no point in crying or whining about it, reality is reality and my current state is not anyone's fault of its just something I have to come to terms with. Thanks for listening to my sob story, I guess.

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i wonder when i'll hit the tipping point this time when i start to wake up with the shakes and sweat through 2 shirts just going a few hours without a drink maybe i'll even vomit all over myself again

>>34709931
Are you drinking straight vodka? I used to drink vodka coffee, vodka wine, vodka fruit juice but never straight vodka doesn't that hurt your throat?

>>34709931
Straight vodka eh? I guess it's one of those nights isn't it

depressing vent incoming.
I was in a very long relationship with someone I met here who I thought was the love of my life. we were each others first everything. I was promised everlasting love, marriage, a future with this person in it. we've been living together and building our shared future. I was suddenly discarded and they left me for someone else - someone who is a downgrade to make things worse. I put up with this persons mental illness (which is likely BPD) and was always supportive, affectionate, kind, caring, I was so loyal and loved them so much. I believed in them and wanted them to be happy. wanted us to be happy together. this is the worst pain I have ever felt. feels like I am slowly rotting away from the inside and am nothing more than an empty shell of my former self. I don't think I can ever trust or love someone again. it's like all the years I've spent with them were for nothing. gone in an instant, my love meant so little to them in the end. I would've given anything to make it work, to stay together. been thinking of ending it all. there's no way I could live my life feeling like this for months or even years to come. I'm walking through an endless dark tunnel alone. there is no reason to keep going on when there is no light to be seen and nobody to walk next to me in the dark.

>>34709966
its ok my throat is destroyed anyway
>>34709971
i always drink straight from the bottle.

>>34709976
You're gonna die lol

>>34710009
have u not seen my other posts? i also take a lot of pills i'm so depressed all i can get is hookups no man will ever love me for me.

>>34710012
You'll have bigger problems to worry about if you don't stop chugging vodka, my aunt and uncle both died from liver failure, nasty business.

Please, you have to wake up.

>>34710018
yeah i guess pain is how i go out too

oh hey hysterical crying right on queue i'm callin him after the storm passes maybe we can go out togtether drinking we're both alcys

>>34709275
Long term goals would be starting a family and getting a house. Short term I am focused on socializing more and overcoming sexual brokenness.
It still seems far fetched but considering how much I have grown recently I still have hope.

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>ASL
24/M/US
>About you
Extremely deeply lonely, touch starved, and constantly daydreaming white guy
>Looking for
Fem anons add me and I'll text you 24/7 and obsess over you if you'd like, we can text about whatever, if you have any small or big personal goals I can encourage you, vent to me, tell me about your autistic interests, do activities together. I won't bring up anything sexual but I'm open to it if you initiate.
>Not looking for
Men, extremely dry texters, ghosters, sellers, consistently slow responders, joining servers, women that hate clingyness
>Discord
c.ensha26

>>34709257
>>34709257
lol I found an abuse survivors forum that was helpful. But it had guys like that. The comment “I’ve never jerked off so much” was really made me not want to get into details online. My therapist is great though.

Rude as fuck

i guess i'm more fucked than i thought didn't drink for like a month or so and this week i tore it up today i wke up with shaky hands real bad. guess livers dont recover that fast

>>34711263
That shit takes years stay off the wagon

>>34710089
Those are good long term goals. I don't see myself ever starting a family it seems like such an alien concept to me. Socializing is so difficult. I have to force myself most days. I know it's good for me but it takes so much effort. You're doing great anon you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders.
Hope is the most important thing, it'll keep you going. I don't think it's farfetched at all. Keep working at it and you'll get where you want to be eventually.

>>34695028
no pressure, but i've been through similar stuff and had similar responses. do you wanna talk?

23/f/ny

summer.mae on discord

i've had 5 full blown meltdowns today and am in the middle of 6

https://discord.gg/u5ahunuksH
Active server plenty of foids and moids to pay attention to/ get attention from

i dont do anything anymore and in fact today is first time ive been on laptop/online since i relapsed week ago

lets traumadump, complain about our life and the world and act like nothing is our fault or just talk about how meds dont work and the weird things our heads tell us

disc: gawd_bless

>>34712405
ive seen ur posts and can relate to ur addiction. not alchy just poorly recovering meth and binge drinking chud
cheers to breakdowns and misc ideas our heads produce to make us more miserable

>>34712531
the ideas are amazingly bad like a part of me wants to get sick like hiv sick and just not take the pills then vanish to middle america to rot away from everything i know

>>34712618
hiv sick is a new one but i get the feeling of wanting to rot away. middle america would suck though, maybe alaska and rot away in the freezing weather

I've been dating a girl for nearly 3 months and we share alot in common in terms of what we value and honesty and i like to be really sweet to her but i can't shake the feeling that shes using me for attention.
the way she acts/the excuses she has are the exact same as all the other women ive dated and turned out to be like that and so im torn between staying with her to the bitter end or breaking it off for both of our sakes

>>34712635
thats the point i want to find a destitute town full of misery to live out my bleak final years

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i don't know where else to post this and i don't wanna make a thread on /r9k/ but god is anyone else getting so fucking horny they need to jerk off every time they see this ad on 4chan? it's making me want to go on 4chan less cus i've been masturbating too much

my libido is completely dead i mostly thrive on thoughts of getting held down and violated because its the only time i've really felt a spark in my life