Oh and I'm curious as well if, based off the description I gave, I am suited for marriage or if I'm too broken for such a thing. And what I should fix about myself so I am suited for marriage.
I'm latina as well (not chckn).

>>35137293
Therapy. Learn how to communicate. Your current communication style is too chaotic for any sort of sustainable friendship/relationship.

>>35137373
I can chat curt too, but I usually just end up as acquaintances with people I'm curt with. Not close friends, which is what I truly want.
Therapy is a scam to pipeline you towards antipsychotics and has never solved my problems. You can get value out of it by using the interrogative techniques on yourself, but its a worthless waste of brooding time outside of that.

>>35137293
You seem interesting. Would you talk to a twink? I'd be down to check up on you from time to time if we become friends.

>>35137403
>You can get value out of it by using the interrogative techniques on yourself
Pretty much this. I think medication on some level is helpful, the problem is that most doctors use it as a "throw shit at the wall" solution. Health comes from a balanced life. Kinda vague motivational posting but I don't think there's anything you can't work through mentally.

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>>35137293
>I'm also a himejoshi/fujoshi severely mentally ill chick into guro

>hello, I'm an average /soc/ woman

haha hey that's my art. this description actually matches me just enough that my friend thought this was maybe me posting. if you like digital circus we should talk, what's your discord?

>>35137373
>displaying any sort of personality is a mental illness that needs to be medicated away

I hate you and your kind, let my girl be a chaotic queen

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>>35137882
:O I love your artwork!! You do fantastic silhouette work, and you're super creative with your scenarios!
And yeah, tadc is my biggest fictional fixation right now. Here, I attached some of my artwork of Ragaguts.
Personally, my favorite scene is the Jax suicide scene (the first one). It captures all the quiet, subtle emotions of suicide perfectly. Especially in comparison to so many other shock/splatterhouse depictions. The emotional depletion, the peace. Cycling through loved ones in your head. The discordant chords subtly beating in the background, egging you on that its a terrible idea. Beautiful scene, will stick in my mind for a long time. Both him and Dazai's NLH are my favorite depictions I've seen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IeDdPJIFFdo
I'm also a Jaxfag. A Ganglefag too though, as a close second. I wish Goose elaborated more on her truck theming for similar reasons. Lots of both overt and subtle death theming in general in the show. Wonder a lot what Goose means with it all.
And, my tag is
sharttanks
>>35137646
I'm down to talk to just about anybody if we get along. I like frens.

>>35137298
i order to love others you must also love yourself
i know it sounds like a platitude, but being misanthropic and wanting marriage, where you will be with another human being forever, i.e. the thing you hate, are not compatible
communication is essential to all relationships, from friendships to love, if you're unwilling to communicate because your insecurities are bigger than your wants, you're gonna have a hard time forming relationships in general
t. dated a fujoshi for five years and i used to deposit my entire self-worth in other people

>>35138162
desu, the main thing I don't communicate is when I'm sad. Because people like me better when I'm not sad, I hide it. Or hibernate if I'm really going through it, as to not drag people around me down.
I'm pretty open to communicating about it the way I am to you right now. (Should I be doing more? No joke, I truthfully have no idea.)

>>35138152
Added you.

>>35138178
yes
you should, it might hurt to find out people who you thought were friends or possible partners are so shallow that the mere mention of negative thoughts and feelings drives them away, but it's a culling that is worth it
remember that shared joy is doubled, and shared sorrow is halved

>>35138152
hiiiii this is art anon, adding you now!

>>35138185
https://voca.ro/1kMMFyn51rxg
>>35138182
>>35138197
Hiii! I actually got to hit the hay early tonight, cause I gotta get up at 5am tomorrow, but adding you both and can talk tomorrow night!

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>>35137293
>Hi, I'm also a himejoshi/fujoshi severely mentally ill chick

Finally, a balanced and nutritious mea-

> Who likes trannies and has low self-esteem and shitty cartoons (but not the good kind of shitty)

Why do I even visit this fucking board

how come you are into passive people or people who are usually not confident

i thought you would be more into demeaning controlling types of persons?
were you initially into that but recognised they werent healthy for you perhaps

>>35138245
i'm this way too but you have to be balanced, you have to be able to express your sorrow as much as you do your joy to others
don't think of it as you're only being useful when you're cheery, you have a whole other range of emotions that need to come out cause it's obviously affecting you to keep them bottled up, being able to express them shouldn't be linked to a utilitarian end purpose
you can make more friends when you start feeling like you can be honest about this kind of stuff to yourself, sure i'm not telling you to just open the faucet completely and trauma dump on everybody, but it's obviously affecting you not to be able to talk about this kinda stuff
all of the concerns you mention are valid, but they're also part of learning to communicate with others, i've had bad experiences opening up to people who i thought were friends, but i've had more good experiences opening up to people who genuinely care about me
i don't try to be wise i'm just a 35 year old cis man (latino también jajaja) who has lots of love for fujoshi cause i dated one for 5 years and she was great, so i try to give back to the community
(my ID changed cause is switched OSes)

>>35138293
I actually get along pretty well with extroverts. Its easy to talk smack with them, and my one irl close friend is one. Romantically though, I'd prefer someone who's gentle with me, and wants me to be gentle with them while also taking the lead. And I'm only attracted to feminine people just in general.
>>35138820
>honest about this kind of stuff to yourself
Astute observation as well, since I definitely bottle emotions even towards my own self too. Its how I'm "fixing" myself actually. By becoming more stoic and flattening my emotions overall. Like grief, or some horrific memories. It makes me more productive and confident. But maybe its the wrong way. I'm open to considering it as an incorrect way. And trying to be more open with others overall.
I've gotten the addage, "nobody's coming to save you", and have taken it to heart. Is where my perspective is coming from. People who know me call me "strong" for fixing myself in this way. But, I can see how it can inadvertently push people away.
And I use Arch, btw B)

>>35140389
you can save yourself, and you're somebody
but trust me, i did the "strong" thing too with my depression and just "fixed" myself and got out of my bed and went to school and shit, and when i started going to therapy i realized i simply created new weird proclivities rather than actually doing anything to better my moods
nothing wrong with looking/asking for help
if you wanna chat some more my discord is disssapppoint
but again, i'm a manly older man, cis and i'm not into gore
and i'm on bazzite i'm very new to all this linux stuff