cheers lad, was making me do that 5 minute wait thing before making a thread.

reminder not to reply to the bots known as z**hy or s**bo

Pavement

>>140380119
shit i forgot to christen it with an edition

Glorious sight of Porter and Cook opening the bowling

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>>140380102
nobody likes jews

>>140380142
I have nothing against them. In fact, I have never met one. They might as well not exist.

So I guess you are correct. I don't like them (but I have no dislike either)

Gonna get autoshongled again lads

Poopeelians can't do anything right

vpn spam begins

Going to get autosaged because of certain spambots

Perhaps we should discuss cricket

it's reporting that causes the autosage usually

>>140380133
the 'start of the bring down of z**hy" edition?

>>140380213
nah autosage happens regardless
just don't summon him by reporting posts and bringing his attention here

Hampshire already a wicket down

>one of "its" trigger words
uh oh

>>140380214
perhaps then >>140380213

wonder why they choose to spam this general?

GONE GOTTEM PORTER GETS HIS FIRST OF THE DAY

was probably a good thing that Essex got that 2 match loan keeper tbf kek

A healthy amount of off-topic posting is fine (discussing non-cricket topics is an integral part of the cricket-watching experience)

The problem is when there's zero cricketing discussing whatsoever and even hostility to those who discuss cricket

Zachy actually used to be semi-interested in cricket, albeit in a bit of an obscure, but it's literally been years since I saw him make a cricket-related post. Prefers to spam the thread with his off-topic blogs instead, and gets annoyed if anything else takes attention away from him

For me it's west indies in England

wah wah wah

For me it's west england in India

West Indies test tours are generally enjoyable. Good crowds. They sometimes somewhat competitive too.

Went to get some coffee and Cook gets a wicket

Gone GOTTEM piss off lees

>>140380314
would kiss on the lips (with her consent)

If Cook were playing for England we'd be the number one Test nation easily

If Alastair Cook were a chess piece he'd be Alastair Rook

If Monty Panesar were a chess piece he'd be Monty Pawnesar

I understand why he hasn’t played a test before now, but I don’t think there’s an excuse for him not playing at least one test this summer considering he’s one of the top bowlers in the Championship.

It’s bizarre how the ‘bazball’ regime selects new players, and again I understand why they do it, but it’s just retarded selecting kids who’ve played like one FC game to play in India.

>>140380528
Still young-ish so half understand, but his average was impressive enough across the last two seasons that he should have had a look in already

Doesn't really make sense that the likes of Tongue were tried out ahead of him (not that I minded that as a Pears man)

It's this dumb "muh pace" viewpoint that causes it, even though England's most successful bowler of all time was never that quick

The Perth boulderworks

I'm short, so my only shot at being successful at cricket was to be an elite batsmen (a la Tendulkar). Unfortunately I was a horrible batsmen. I would call myself an all-rounder, but in truth, I was only a fielder who could bowl a bit.

>>140380573
australians literally can't shut the fuck up about pace and they're the only people they pay any attention to

>>140380632
Don't get me wrong, useful to have one or two pace babbies in the attack to offer some variety and pose a different challenge, but it seems like they'll ONLY pick seamers who average 87mph or above now. Robinson an exception to that, but like Cook he'd been doing so well in the county game that he just about managed to force his way in

>>140380573
Cooks not that young tbf, he's older than me although is the same age as Tongue. Although the pace isn't as important here in England I think before this last year the bowling for England was blocked up by Anderson and Broad so made it less likely to play. But yes, has been in the top bowlers for the last few seasons, the fact he hasn't even been named is not unsurprising but still exasperating.

The reason why Tongue got his debut ahead of little chef is because he was earmarked at the academy as a teenager, got hyped up and didn't make his debut earlier probably because of his injury problems. The current regime especially seem to put a lot of stock in "this kid was great at the academy" and then ignore their FC record, like with Ahmed and Bashir. Oh, and of course they went to the right school and are mates/ dads are mates with the right people, which of course has nothing to do with it!

I think high pace is becoming more of an issue in England because the bazball regime are into pitch rigging to make decks for our overrated batters.

>>140380610
You don't have to be tall to be a pace bowler its just that it helps, Larwood was fairly short (like 5' 9" i think).

>>140380736
True, but be that as it may, I'm 5'5". Perhaps I could have been a spin bowler of some sort, now that I think about it. But all this is all hindsight and shoulds, woulds, and coulds.

more like bumberworks haha

>>140380231
>him
>his
cool it with the transphobic remarks

>>140380736
Young in cricketing terms, I mean. Maybe it's just due to Anderson and Broad dominating so long, but doesn't feel like most seamers get a look in until they're 23 at the very earliest, and usually more like 26. Possibly also because lots of them go to university, and won't start playing county champs regularly until they're 21

Tongue had an ok first class record (think he averaged about 25 or 26 at the time of his pick), but there were clearly more deserving candidates. Does seem to be a bit of a boy's club though, so you might be right about them selecting players who were with the youth set up for years. Does that apply to Bashir though? Thought he came out of nowhere

a number of posts in here with a concerning number of paragraphs

what we drinking tonight bros

>>140380754
>I'm 5'5"
condolences, you could try transitioning so that you're a more appropriate gender for your height?

Hate cricket, and not a big fan of English, Australians or Indians either.

Just thought you should know.

>>140380914
mojitos innit lad

>>140380978
never had a mojito me

Hampshire going well

>>140381025
you dunno what you're missing out on innit lad

GONE GOTTEM OFF TO BED BEDINGHAM

>>140380888
>Does that apply to Bashir though? Thought he came out of nowhere
He came up through Surrey kek thats another think about selectors and counties, but I think their was less of a "boys club" aspect to him, but he was heavily rated from a young age and its said he came to Stokes attention from youtube/tik tok, but the point remains he'd played like two FC games before the India call-up.

>>140381053
Yeah bloody stupid to call him up with so little red ball experience, no surprise he didn't do that well. I guess with him and Ahmed they're hoping that in 5 years or so they'll be bedded into the Test team with lots of international experience already, but still a decade of their career ahead of them. Big gamble for lads who ultimately might just not be very good though

gonna be honest here, I think I could beat at least half of you at a chipping and putting comp

Hate Hampshire
Wipe if from the map
Would not be missed

>>140381319
Not sure what a grown man is doing playing a chipping and putting comp. I'd beat you over 18 however

>thinks chipping and putting is for children
>thinks he's good at golf
bet you're one of those guys who drives it 300+ but still struggles to make double bogey kek

There was only two places that have soul in the UK
Worcestershire is neither of them

>>140380119
photoshop guy is the spammer I'm afraid

>>140381514
Yorkshire coast is one of them

>>140380914
Water.

>>140380914
coffee

>>140380119
i'm not racist but zachy and bard are the same Anon

I'm racist

>>140381895
That's pretty dumb.

>>140382176
Isn't it amazing how /afl/ spergs out when you try to add relevant information to an OP?

WAKE UP BREET NEET SPASTICS

Too busy working hard, for society (public service).

who needs the gym when thumbing your laptop is so hard innit bard

Root almost certain to get a double ton today

>>140382695
I'm not working hard, that must be another - less mentally fatigued - member of the public sector

I have quietly unquit though, fair is fair. Done some solid work this week tbqhwy

'''''some solid work''''
lol, yeah right you utter boondoggler

Essex getting humbled by Durham here
Northern chads making short work of the southern softies

honestly dunno how my liver can take so much work and how i haven't passed out yet
might save the 'est 'f 'he 'ottle for tomorrow

GONE GOTTEM

OUT IN THE NERVOUS 90s

HARMER GETS HIS FIRST OF THE DAY

I'm probably 100x as mentally fatigued as you actually, but I have these things called pride and self-respect

They'll drag me away from this desk in a body bag

>>140383046
It's already all over at this point
Best Essex can hope for now is a losing draw

seems as though 70% of couples are same sex now going by house buying TV shows

>>140383172
They're just appealing to their audience.

women were a mistake

alright! ipl is is on!

that little manlet curran is getting bashed all over the park

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>new vpn

based salt

If Root and Brook can't baz Yorkshire to 500 against Derbyshire then both should be dropped by England, end of

>full toss
>arshdeep
who needs comedy writers

punjabi butter fingers lol

Wtf happened to Narine to make him so cracked this year.

just hit the ball. its easy.

>>140383410
canada is an oldie

watching the ipl is great because i get to see indians get beat :DDDDDDDD
Like and Subscribe

all kicking off down here and even worse there's no cricket on until next year

Going to the Christening of my mate's sprog on Sunday and they've got on the invite that "should you wish to make a gift, a small donation which he will receive on his 18th birthday will be more than ok". What's the smallest amount I can get away with? Any more than £10 is a pisstake. Considering giving nothing at all but not sure if that'd reflect badly on me

>>140384114
if they ask for gifts then they deserve nothing
had another one of those pisstake "fat cat director is retiring give donations at this link" e-mails earlier too

>>140384089
>>140384089
are you getting bombed bro?

>>140384151
It's a fairly good mate of mine rather than some colleague I don't really know, but still don't know why I should be expected to contribute to the 18th birthday fund of his bastard kid

Chances are he'll be a little chavvy shit by the time he's 16 and fully undeserving of my £10 and its compounded growth

>>140384193
just saw it was a christening lmao they're just going to take the money
who is waiting almost 2 decades

>>140384158
we're hitting their missiles for 6 don't worry bro

>>140384114
I would dab like wiz khalifa out of there. you have social services right? what kind of poor cunts ask for donations BEFORE an event?

>>140384270
based i hope you bash everyone

>>140384209
>>140384274
Hmm yeah youse might have a point. They are putting on a hog roast afterwards though, not sure if that means they're feeding everyone or that they'll just be a catering service there and you can buy your lunch. If the former then a £10 donation might be fair enough

Have to agree about the asking for gifts thing being a piss take, its a christening so should be gifts anyway.


See that Pope is out early again, always happens when he has to go in early (which is most of the time with England). Said it before but I'll say it again: He only averages 60 because he sits behind Sibley and Burns who also average high in county cricket.

>>140384342
is hog roast another brit slang? or is it a literal hog roast?

it’s not easy always being the smartest man in the room. it gets so tiring.

>>140384388
Roast pork Sunday lunch I'd imagine

YEAH GUV GOT THE HOG ROAST ON THE SPIT YOU KNOW

polite people: *nods*

if the british had a more natural dignity, they would need so many manners

>>140384388
Its basically a whole pig literally spit roasted, a hog roasted hence a hog roast. Its an outdoor party thing.

Its something chavs think it well posh innit

for example i can always see the twist in a movie coming from a mile off

>>140384481
very cool, and sound delis and wholesome.

Durham stream shat itself to death

if you are not watching the ipl you are missing out

guess i’ll just have to miss out

but its a runathon!

>>140384548
Just not cricket.

bet countystreamslad was privately educated. maybe even went to a boarding school like zachy. just has that aura about him

>>140384368
averages 60 because he's a pubstomper and domestic cricket's standards are appalling

any good county games this week???

130 millies on the euro millions tonight
might have a go
got a good feeling

absolute scenes at eden garden!

johnny b good!

zachy you in m8

yh mate

yah im here zachy b that me

johnny bairstow on century watch

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>>140386032

dire gimmick

>>140380102
why was op file deleted?

johnny bairstow centurt has been accompished

has sebbo finally lost his mind

pbks gunna chase 262 lol

Happy for Bairstow but this match was boring.

Reminder that Johnson charles plays tomorrow against Nepal.

whats a good county game to waytch?

I'm straight but I'd go bumdering with certain man for a laugh

>>140386884
Stop bombdering kids

good on wall sesh I am so fucking back

>>140386928
ever thought about climbing a cliff instead of a wall

on the duvels tonight zachy?

>>140386985
will when stronger

Zachy mate you should jump off a cliff

>>140387178
figurative duvels
not literally duvels
sucking a Guinness right now

>>140387334
don't agree

my body is sexy

>>140387303
I did rock climbing on a cliff in cornwall when I was like 12
you're weaker than a 12 year old?

When the war begins and the rapes start I have first dibs on zachys sister

Not sure duvel actually tastes nice
It's just trendy and strong

Asda doing 6 duvel for a tenner tho phwoaarr

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>>140380102
Post-day 1 of round 4 of the county championship

Fucking BBC have changed the format of the match reports, real fucking annoying how its changed, and there's no comments section to read retards takes.

>Division One

DURHAM 358.
v ESSEX 5/0.
Match report: https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/c51nxnd95x7o
Highlights of day 1: https://youtu.be/cZCUfRbahn4
fucking retards durham with their shit stream missed the last 4 wickets, cunts.

SURREY 123/6.
v HANTS 151.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/cjq57q35d7no
https://youtu.be/wwR-8E2QnM4

WARKS
v NOTTS 376/8.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/c2e09e5jvn0o
https://youtu.be/FXJ2jb59bwY

WORCS 14/0.
v SOMERSET 309/9dec.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/cx8qx87pe17o
https://youtu.be/AhMvykaqxW8


>Division Two

GLOUCS 82/3.
v MIDDX 203.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/cpegqejz1l8o
https://youtu.be/no9PADuBGAI

LEICS
v NORTHANTS 337/6.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/cmm36mjv9r7o
https://youtu.be/GvAf3v3wseQ

YORKS v DERBS
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/cricket/articles/cv2xv27rwlvo
https://youtu.be/CqzSiMHK5gs

Are people doing that cytube shit again?

>>140388005
no

Really enjoyed bouldering today
One of the best hobbies there is, I'm sure

sucking a duvel

Sucking a man off

feel a deep sadness inside of me

reminder:
>>140388888

Bouldering isn't gay
Golf is way more gay

Golf courses are literally where gay men go to have sex at night undisturbed

>>140387598
>I did this look at me
Fuck off you narcissistic twat

>never makes a post that isn't about himself
>calls other people narcissists

>>140389329
no need to lash out
really telling

Beer doesn't make you fat

just the alcohol in it

>>140387598
>not scaling the white cliffs of dover
noob

>>140389960
Nope

>>140390072
t. fat neek

>>140390142
i'm actually incredibly jacked tbqhwy

Just went for a large slab '''''''''climbing'''''''''', lads

Just went for a large slub """clubbing""" innit lads

>>140390549
meant slut

Just went for a large Australian clubbing '''''scene'''', lads

>>140388984
Do they? You seem to be an expert on gay sex locations

Just went for a large British clubbing seals with cricket bats """scene""" lads

my friday night delight - sticking a wine bottle up my arse
when you clench and the neck shatters inside your anus, your haemorrhoids experience the most exquisite pleasure
when those shards dig in just right
better than a v8
the gristley crunch

>>140390739
>this is your brain on t20 """cricket"""

>>140386278
you can't quote "f*ck the j*ws" even to make fun of a dumb neet spastic because the mods are jews and the jannies are shabbos goy trannies

>>140390739
ynr that video back in the day of that jar shattering in that bloke's anus

>>140390739
They call this "the zach attack"

Akshually its the jar attack

autofagging again?

Its going to keep happening so long as the two mentioned here>>140380119
keep happening

The IPL is making such a grim mockery of cricket. Preparing absolute roads and reducing the boundary size from the conventional 75 yards to 65 yards or less. What sort of smoothbrain actually enjoys watching such an uneven contest between bat and ball? The average T20 score should be around 160 for a genuinely entertaining match

Not going to link to the next thread btw

>>140391183
it keeps happpening anyway
in fact it stopped for a while until you came back to the thread spamming county streams
very curious

Let's all relocate to /cg/

let's all relocate to your mum in bed last night champ iykwim haha