>Mr. Anon, your opening statement.
If you indict me you are a NIGGER.
Statement
>>730456425This is a jap thing isn't it?
prove i did it
Your honor, I did indeed have breakfast this morning but if I perhaps… DID NOT have breakfast, then I would be hungry. Case dismissed.
>>730456425Your honor how is it possible I broke the rules when all I did was talk about video games?
>>730456425JUDGE NEVER DREW A DIME!
She said she was 16 years old, your honour.
>>730456425Capcom stands accused of not giving me my fucking AA7.
>>730456425I'm gay
>>730456425I’m Henry Firth
>>730456425*Dabs*
>>730457868HEY! You don't talk to my wife like that.
>>730456425Your honor, I posit that1. fuck niggers2. fuck trannies3. fuck jannies
>>730456745Americans do opening statements too. They are different than the AA ones though.An opening statement is supposed to outline the nature of the case and the facts so the jury has a picture of what the trial is about. In AA they're to inform the player what the mystery is and what are the arguments he has to fight against.
What can we say about anon?
>>730456425YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
>>730458501everybody laugh at this guy
>>730456425I may not have a big BUTT like my worthy adversary OP, but what I do have is the TROORTROORT
>>730459215Why? What did i do?
>>730458501Anon could you make me a sandwich
>>730456425THAT NIGGA IS GUILTY
>Your honour, if you are what you eat then how can I be anything but an innocent man?
>>730459375Nothing anon, it's just that you replied seriously to someone quoting a ytp meme, personally I found your reply interesting, so it's all good
>>730456425This n8gga guilty!
>>730456425Your GRANDCHILDREN are gonna need GRANDCHILDREN lawyers!
>>730456425Your honor, League of Legends.
>>730458158Your honour my client simply meant that he fucks these demographics and had no ill will towards them
>>730456425My client says he did it but it's not a big deal so let's dismiss this whole thing.
>>730456425
The prosecution is not prepared, yet, your honor.
>>730458826WHAT DA HECK CAN YOU SAY ABOUT ANON?
I love Ema!
>>730456425Sex with Maya Fey.
THIS IS FUCKING KANGAROO COURT
>>730456425I boughted the limited pre-order early access ultimate edition
>>730456425Your Honor,If it pleases the court, I'd like to make a submission to evidence. This here is a writ of proof that Capcom hates their entire industry and can not fathom how to dig themselves out the hole they have dug themselves in. This list includes:Dead Franchises: >Ace Attorney>Bionic Commando>Breath of Fire>The "Capcom vs." series>Darkstalkers>Dead Rising>Devil May Cry>Dinocrisis>Final Fight>Ghosts 'n Goblins>Marvel vs. Capcom>The entire Megaman series>Okami>Onimusha>Rival Schools>SNK vs. Capcom>Steel Battalion>Viewtiful JoeAnd for the list of series that are all but dead:>Monster Hunter>Resident Evil>Street Fighter90% of their entire library has either been shelved, ignored, or has been so diluted from it's former iterations that no decent game has been released in the past few years, and the ones that have are all on life support at this point. It is our view and determination, that Capcom should be dissolved and its intellectual properties be released to the general public forthwith on the grounds of pure fucking stupidity.
>>730460389Your honor, I believe Mr. Wright is taking this too seriously. Capcom at least still releases games instead of studios like Bethesda, and Rockstar who release a game every ten years.
>>730460607Objection!>whataboutism
>>730458501Anon...this is a jap thing, isn't it?
>>730460607If Capcom took making their games with even a fraction of the seriousness I seem to be portraying, then they'd be rolling in cash until the cows came home.Releasing a few (maybe 2 in as many years) games that completely suck so bad that they've been suggestively called "franchise killers" should be more than enough merit to take things at least with a modicum of seriousness.
>>730456425I intend to show that there is reasonable doubt that my client is, as the prosecution claims, the sitting president of Venezuela, Nicolas Maduro - and is, in fact, the popular video game streamer and influencer known to fans worldwide as Dr Disrespect.
>>730460876Your honor, in the event that the defense does prove that the defendant is actually not Nicolas Maduro, but instead Dr. Disrespect, the prosecution still moves to indict the defendant on criminal charges for statutory rape.
>>730456425MYYYY MOMMYYYYYY MOM
>The charges, your honor?
League of Legends
>>730456745I may not have a big BUTT like my worthy adversary, Miles Edgeworth. But what I do have... IS THE BWABWABWEABAW
>>730456425Your honor, this can't wait a month!
>>730461153Outclassing the actual protagonists in every way, shape and form!
>>730456425Look at this.
>>730461093OBJECTION!!Footage shown privately shows that it was actually the minors who commited the sexual assault on Mr. Maduro, by dressing sexily and acting provocatively with their underdeveloped breasts and curvy bellies. And since minors cannot legally be charged for crimes, this case is NULL AND VOID!
BEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBEBE
>>730461657Hmm I’m not sure what that has to do with what the witness said.I’ll have to have the bailiff rip your cock off
>>730461657golden butthole
>>730461795>And since minors cannot legally be charged for crimes
ACK!
>>730461595Bebebebebebebebebebebebe
>>730461103CLAPPA YO HANDSCLAPPA YO HANDS
>>730461965He tanked that
>>730461796>>730461976That's a good question Mr. Anon, and I assure you the investigation is going ahead full speed. The minute I have a definitive answer it will be reported in the media.
Mr. Wright, could you please sit down.
>>730462198https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zv1n7BQD3QY
>>730456425WEIRD AL STOLE MY FUCKING WIFE THROW HIS ASS UNDERNEATH THE JAIL NOW
it’s that clussy game haha
>>730456543LOL! This is my first day on 4chan and you guys really deliver! You won't hear this in church, folks. Keep it up you zany people!!
>>730456425The non-romantic nature of Phoenix and Maya's relationship is the single most ridiculous thing in this increasingly absurd franchise. You don't go through all the development of showing their importance to one another, only to stop at the finish line and say they're just good friends. It flies in the face of how you write fiction.
>>730462805Its because phoenix loves Iris and loves Maya like a little sister
>>730459792This is the dumbest pasta that always gets me.
>>730456425Your honour, my client believes that the great ace attorney duology is actually better than the original trilogy, the reasons include but are not limited to your assistant being cuter than maya, the setting being better, the narrative being more kino, and the witnesses being funnier
>>730456425Your Honor, you can't convict me. Think of all the starving children in Africa you can convict instead.
>>730456425Maya Fey in jail
>>730462849>>730462805Ace Combat Attorney 7 will surely bring Iris back.And she'll be framed for another murder.
>>730462849Yeah whatever, he loves Ms. Hasn't been seen by or mentioned to his adopted daughter way more than the woman he was keeping in contact with and flew to another country to defend in court. Sure.
>>730456425she told me she was 18
>>730463191DESERVED for putting PEPPER in her pb&js
>>730463194I heard before than they don't want to bring her back because it would spoil the hell out of 3-5 but one, it's been over two decades and two, that certainly didn't stop them spoiling all of the cases where Maya is the defendant by showing her off in other cases after she was the defendant before. They're just being pussies
>>730463432Because introducing a romantic interest for the main character in the last chapter of the story is a fucking cop out and they know it. Yes, I will be a fag about it.
>>730463345
>>730463750Its ok bro they weren't gonna do anything with phoenix in aa7 anyway because the focus will be totally on Athena! Of course!
>>730464131I wouldn't hate her as much if her design didn't suck more dog dicks than a Canadian.
>fuck i'm losing>guards, shoot that attorney lol
>>730456425I submit that men should forgo sex with women entirely for that of men and fem boys.
>>730456425Your Honor, I like chicken and I like tea.
>>730456425I think Oblivion was a great game. Fuck Skyzoomers, Fuck Morrowfossils, and FUCK TODD HOWARD for hiring retarded jeets to handle the remaster.
>>730456425I kill him because his taste was shit. It's really that bad to get rid of people like that? You should thank me
>>730460389Dragon's Dogma not even mentioned kek
>>730456574>>730457868>>730458826Fpbp
I'm gonna zip my pants up.
>>730456425I am not a person, your honor. I am a legal entity bearing the name of anon and I do not recognize the jurisdiction of this court. Are you a court of equity? Does this court recognize maritime admiralty law?
>>730456425Your honour, let me show you myboot to the head
>>730466503fesh post best pince?
>>730456425Remember Ace Attorney Online?Yeah...With the rise of AI generate image and story, it would make generating case without turn it into shitflinging fest
>Capcom has no idea what to do with the series despite it being the highest sold visual novelWhat is the best course for the series? Talkies are clearly still appreciated thanks to the Heavy Rain style slop.
>>730464873>bitch actually rewrites the law mid trial whenever it's inconvenient for her
>>730467951>AI capable of creating a coherent caseHa!
>>730468124They can start by not making up idiotic theme park countries and de-escalating the setting. Having an entire legal system hinge on a single lawyer's presence is fucking stupid.
>>730469496Can a bunch of human randos do it on the fly?
>>730467951SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR
>>730469496Of course notBut its can generating out evident, and some scenarioThe rest, player can bullshit to each otherAlso the incoherable make the case more unpredictable
>>730465817 Based and Cyrodiil-pilled. The moment they stopped doing weird potato faces and replaced them with generic scanned models is when the soul left the series. I don't need photorealistic elves, I need them to look like diseased mannequins with 1,000-yard stares while yelling about mudcrabs.
>>730464873based
>>730468124It will be this
Honest question, why did they make Maya so sexy? She's always got her toes out.
>>730470150where's the [Glass Him] option?
I like big butts and i cannot lie you honor.
>>730469979Yeah, just make a DnD session but with Ace Attorney. You need actual competent Dungeon Masters (Criminal masterminds?) to write a decent plot though, someone with experience reading about legal cases and whatnot.But strangers on the internet? Fat chance
>>730456425THE JEWS DID IT
>>730469979>>730470484Multiplayer Ace Attorney did work out in some groups but they usually had people design the cases beforehand, make up evidence and witness testimony, then had the defense and prosecution players argue their case.But doing it genuinely on the fly with no planning would be pretty difficult.
>>730461795Calm down moishe
>>730470623If you didn't plan everything out behind the scenes, you just needed people who were willing to "yes and" retarded bullshit and work with what they had, and that could make really satisfying endings too.
>>730456425ZAMN!>Ohohoh! >My boy>Case dismissed!
>>73046115318 years of unpaid child support.
>>730461965Third's time the charm, surely.
Rise from the Ashes is the best single case in the series and the next AA game should focus on those types of "realistic" scenarios more. AAI2 is the best full game in the series since every case is amazing from start to finish.
>>730472171>1-5 is the best single casemmmmaybebest in the OT, yeah>AAI2 is the best full game in the series trve!personally I don't mind some of the unrealistic cases, like the latter half of 6-5 since last rites are the best gimmick in the AJ trilogy and I'm not sure where 6-2 would place to you and even though it is silly I really like it and consider it quite good
BAILIFSMACK HIS NUTS
>>730472171>Rise from the Ashes is the best single caseAside from the character gimmicks, I'm inclined to agree. I think the main reason it doesn't get enough love is because it's entirely too similar in tone to Turnabout Goodbyes, which deadens the impact when you play it immediately afterwards.
>>730463191Feet
>>730460389
>>730472171Gourd Lake is my personal favorite case
>>730456543You’re already indicted, you dumb nigger. That’s the whole reason you’re in front of a judge.
>>730456425Judge all of these people on this board keep making fun of my games and I'm so FUCKING SICK OF ITWHY WON'T ANY OF YOU BUY MY NEWEST GAME CALLED FALLOUT 76FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
>Your honor! Given that the court has already accepted as fact that my client could not have been at the scene of the crime at the time of the crime, why is this trial still ongoing? Surely you're not expecting me to point out and prove the actual culprit or something?
>>730461657Can I eat that?
Fuck all these clients that won't even give you their own full account of the events before the trial.
>>730473904Name a case where this actually happens. Biggest AA myth
>>730474093Steel Samurai
>>730474061Half of them have (selective) amnesia
>>7304740931-3
>>730461657Pudding!
>>730474093??
>>730474061Right lmaoUncooperative clients are my least favorite thing in the entire seriesFuck you Wocki KitakiAnd that little Borginian shitheadand ESPECIALLY ZAK FUCKING GRAMAYRE
And you find GumshoeAnd you find GumshoeAnd you find GumshoeAnd you find Gumshoe
>>730467951Oh I remember this!>newfags don't know how to properly upload their customs and every case turns into a bunch danganrompa/persona fags doing fuck all because no fun allowed
>>730474302>hey, do you remember that fake evidence you presented that made you lose your badge for 7 years? I have the true page of the book right here, sorry I never told you hahaGramayre genocide
>>730462805Fujos won't buy the game if Capcom confirm he's straight.
>>730474529>say Phoenix what say we have a little card game? for old times sake?*gestures at the waitress he set up who knows how fucking long in advance to give Phoenix a fake card just so he can ruin his livelihood*>huh? what was that? oh uh nothing haha, lets play!
>>730464873>mostly normal person (by AA standards) during the case suddenly becomes incredibly evil looking and the prosecutor for the final part of the caseoh gee, i wonder who the killer is...
>>730473810sheeeeiiiittt
>>730474552Is it gay if Phoenix impregnates Maya while she's channeling a man?
>>730456425But your honor... I said out of 10!!
>>730470150I'd fucking play this.
I do not recognize any sort of authority over me you might claim.
>>730456425>lifts leg>FAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTT
>>730461657Goatsee
>>730470294That's the press him option>Press his stupid face into his desk
>>730456425Niggers tongue my anus.
>>730460252that size animation with casual indifference to tiniesI don't even know which AA game she's from
>>730479205I present the epstein flight logs
>>730479642Are you gibbering about some fetish thing?
>>730456425Yeah, all around in my home townThey're trying to track me down, yeahThey say they want to bring me in guiltyFor the killing of a deputyFor the life of a deputyBut I sayOh, now, now, ohI shot the sheriffBut I didn't shoot no deputy, oh, no, ohI shot the sheriffBut I didn't shoot no deputy, ooh, ooh, ooh
>>730480929clowin?
>>730461153>dead ringer for the stereotypical AA villain prosecutor>defendant
>>730474668 Technically? It's like Schrödinger's gay. Until you open the door and see who's on top it's both gay and not. Spirit channeling kinda breaks all conventional rules. Phoenix probably just closes his eyes and thinks of justice.
>>730470897you either need good improvisors, or have everyone willing to take breaks inbetween dialogue to think up a good story/response
>>730481714>Phoenix probably just closes his eyes and thinks of justice.that's pretty gay regardless
>>730474651>oh gee, i wonder who the killer is...ace attorney is supposed to be columbo-esque
>>730456425I demand all here present lick my hairless
>>730480929What does he say in the original japanese?
>>730456574Opened.
>>730466794>Are you a court of equity?you're gonna find out when I order you to suck this dick, boi
>>730484328まぎゃらうぶろぼッ!
>>730461657thats a fake!
>>730467951doubt it'd make something good like this
>>730464131i'd rather that they actually try exploring the lack of motivation she has to continue working as a lawyer considering she already fulfilled her main one, but considering how low she usually gets on Japan character popularity polls I wouldn't be too surprised if they just pulled out more fujobait instead>>730474529>>730474643>give your daughter's foster father a letter proclaiming that she can inherit the Troupe's name>also plan on besmirching the reputation of said foster father's poker reputation, crippling his ability to provide for said daughter>when he catches on to your scheme during the game, assault the lady you hired to help you because ?????????retinz did nothing wrong. burn the name of troupe gramarye to the ground
>>730474651investigations was pretty good about keeping it decently hard to guess
>>730463191>>730473267My thoughts exactly
>>730460389ObjectoionFaggotWe are getting a new Okami and Megaman.So suck my farts.Monster is dead though I'll concede
>>730490228Believe it when you see it, retard.
>>730470150Kiño
IDROPPED THE SCREWIN THE TUNA
>>730456425She tried to drive over me! The three bullets were self-defence!
>>730459582your honor why is my lawyer a jew
Your Honor, I would like to call the Court's attention to the fact that Phoenix Wright, the defense attorney standing before us right now, is clearly in a sexual relationship with Maya Fey, a minor. The very girl he has working as his aid today. I call for Wright to be removed from the case immediately and disbarred. Motion granted.
>>730456425Man, court proceedings is a trip, uncle /v/uncle!
>>730460389>>Ace Attorney>>Devil May CryBoth on Capcom's priorities if their recent announcement is any indication.>>Bionic CommandoWas a middling NES game and an even more middling Gen 7 title that failed to make waves both times. >>The "Capcom vs." seriesBlame how much of a mess licensing and cross-company collaboration is now. Also you listed this three times, asshole.>>Darkstalkers>>DinocrisisWhy compete with yourself and/or sap resources from the existing fighting/horror games in development?>>Ghosts 'n Goblins>>The entire Megaman series>>Okami>>OnimushaAll of these have stuff announced or just got a new release in GnG's case.>>Dead RisingA scar that only serves to remind people of the Inafune-ruining-everything era. Outsourcing it to Canucks was a kinder fate than most of Capcom's Japanese branch probably wanted to give it.>>Steel Battalion>>Viewtiful Joe>>Breath of FireOnly valid ones on the list. Also you forgot Lost Planet, chump.
>>730491486Mr Von Karma, saying "motion granted" doesn't mean a white boi like you will be granted a lil' motion!I need to see proof of Mr Wright having sex with Maya Fey RIGHT now, or else I'll have to deny you your motion! You better get them fucking by the time recess is over!COURT ADJORNED!
>>730491148Why is grass green ass question
Guilty of being perfectThat is my only crime
>it's quite obvious it couldn't have been me that commited the crime>"Well, since we don't have any other suspect who admitted doing the deed in front of this court, you are guilty anyway lmao"I honestly think their legal system is pretty crap
