Anonymous
Cultists within the Mexian Car(...) 04/23/24(Tue)15:50:28 No.37758955

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Cultists within the Mexian Cartels Anonymous 04/23/24(Tue)15:50:28 No.37758955

>be me
>live in a small town on the Texas-Mexico border
>always heard rumors about cartel activity, but never took them too seriously
>one night, walking home from work, hear strange chanting coming from an abandoned warehouse
>curiosity gets the best of me, so I decide to investigate
>peek through a broken window and see a group of men in masks surrounding a makeshift altar
>they are chanting something in spanish
>then I hear it, "¡Vamos a invocar a Son Goku!"
>mfw
>my blood runs cold as I realize they're trying to summon Goku from Dragon Ball Z
>frantically try to back away quietly, but step on a loose board, making a loud creak
>the chanting stops abruptly, and all eyes turn towards me
>panic sets in as I bolt away, but I run straight into a guy taking a smoke break
>ohshit.jpg
>before I know it, I'm surrounded by these masked men
>they grab me, drag me back to the altar, and tie me up
>one of them, the leader I assume, approaches with a wicked grin
>"You interrupted our ritual, gringo. Now you must be sacrificed to appease Son Goku."
>I plead for my life, but they're not listening
>they raise a sacrificial knife, chanting louder than before
>suddenly, the warehouse shakes violently, like an earthquake
>from the shadows emerges a figure, glowing with an otherworldly aura
>it's Goku, or at least someone dressed exactly like him
>he looks around, confused, then spots me tied up on the altar
>with lightning speed, he disarms my captors and unties me
>"Sorry about the mess, guys. Looks like you got the wrong guy," Goku says with a smile
>he helps me to my feet as the cartel members cower in fear
>before leaving, Goku gives me a thumbs up and says, "Next time, be careful where you eavesdrop. And stay away from cartels."
>watch in awe as Goku flies off into the night sky
>never been more grateful to have a guardian super saiyan

True Story