Does anybody else ever feel like you're never actually alone? Even when you're completely by yourself. I feel like whenever I'm all by myself, that there is something else. Something outside of me, not inherent. I don't know what to call it, but I'm scared. I hate staying alone in the darkness, I feel like it can feel every movement that I make before I even make it. I feel like it can hear all of my thoughts, before I even think them. It leaves me terrified to sleep, I feel the urge to run away from my house, to find somebody immediately, to hide. Something is wrong. Then I force myself to get into my cocky attitude, where I dismiss everything and act like I couldn't care less, but you see, deep down within myself I still feel terrified, no matter what I'd do. Blasting loud music, even talking to strangers online, watching a movie or TV show, it doesn't matter, as long as I am by myself, I do not feel safe. I'm a grown man, I feel embarrassed but I'm not lying here. I never let anybody know this. I feel the need to talk to myself loudly so the entity won't hear my inner thoughts if I let them roam free. I feel the urge to control my thinking just so things won't slip up. It fills my mind with evil things, murder, rape, grotesque images of loved ones. I don't want this, and as I mention the force I can feel goosebumps on my body, shivering. I think it keeps me away from making real connections. It tells me that I'm weird, that I am different and not in a good way. That I'm a liability, a creep, an embarrassment. And I hate to say, that it makes me feel as if I am thinking that, but I am fucking not. It isn't me. When I try to make a friend, it just kills me inside, makes me super awkward, I start shaking and my heart beats like crazy and I fuck it up. I think whatever it is, is actually fucking sabotaging me so I am constantly by myself. God.. what the fuck? I am crying as I type this, I never realized this until I wrote it down like this. Fuck, fuck...
>>42574650https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7ZO2kR7VIk
>>42574650>Does anybody else ever feel like you're never actually alone?Nah
>>42574655To elaborate, yes I've had periods of that. It's a pretty unpleasant shape to find oneself in. It washes off faster in nature and when you do things spontaneously.Take alternative routes whenever you travel and see if you can get to exploring, where your emphasis is not on finding anything or going anyplace, but just on the going exploratively.
Oh, this may crack the issue: avoiding the company of people altogether is still unwholesome occupation with company.I think this is how you got your present experience, it sounds very very similar to what I went through.How I got out was just by finding mild little interactions and excuses to go outside.>as long as I am by myself, I do not feel safeThis is "not enjoying seclusion", a lack of skill everyone is born with, but it can also point to a more specific thing like a trauma.
>>42574650ngl i'd just cowboy upbut i get it
>>42574666>666
>>42574996>muh bad numberFearmongering that originated in Rabbinic gatekeeping of Hebrew study essentials, and got amplified in Catholicism.It's just the numerical value of "the whole Torah".
>>42574650its your higher self, the same as you watch your body with your mind, and you watch your mind with your consciousness, there is something above watching.Fear not tho, it loves you very much and tries to help you the best it can but cant force you to choose whats good for you.Thats the only thing that can see your thoughts
>>42575028It's his ancestors, and at the moment he's fed into his less-pleasant ancestors.
>>42575015So why did I never see it much pre 2021? I never did anything knowingly occultic like summoning a demon.
>>42575060Because you were more ignorant of it, and because the Rabbinic system is in the process of being dismantled. They make little sputtering noises about that sometimes because they liked their debased status quo.
>>42574650How old are you? You sound really young. You need to control yourself. Give up meat and cussing and porn and whack off as seldom as possible, it is probably impossible for you to remain sane and give it up cold turkey now. Try water fasting. One day, then 2, then 3.Work out, go running. This 'talker' an be tamed and integrated but it takes time and effort. Read the Gospels.
>>42575015666 is number of saturn
>>42575119Based on...? I was talking about Hebrew, the only perfect mathematical system we have.
>>42574650I feel like it's so steeped in metaphor that I can't actually say anything about it without saying something I don't intend to say. It's pretty and I also never feel alone.
>>42575028>>42575048Filling his head with evil, grotesque stuff? I doubt it. Likely a separate entity.>>42574650OP, a lot of what you are dealing with is part of life and you just have to deal with it. It is the occult, that is to say hidden, part of life but it's still a part of life. Entities can read your thoughts, predict what you will think because of it, even give you thoughts and make you not able to remember certain things. This stuff, in general, you need to deal with. However, you have an evil spirit giving you evil thoughts. You should deal with this. Try banishing spells also work on yourself a bit. You shouldn't be as scared as you are, these things can influence and only rarely control directly. Things can read your thoughts and know every shitty thing you have done in the past. You just have to deal with that part.
>>42575298I mean, I have christian ancestors. I've seen plenty of evil, grotesque stuff exhibited deliberately in their houses. Like painted wooden gore figurines involving a Jew wearing a torture hat on a medieval execution device.
>>42574650>Does anybody else ever feel like you're never actually alone?I happen to *know* I'm not. There's been a poltergeist in my house since 1991 and it took a personal interest in me from the start. I thought it was gone but it finally sprung back up in 2019, then recently I did a sort of review and could clearly see a bunch of times over the years when it was the cause of this or that weird phenomena in the house, always aimed at me, well..more accurately aimed at my belongings. Turns out it's been spying on me for 35 years straight.I just figure it's part of my curse.All my "life" I've dreamed to be perfectly alone, but even if I'd get my wish of being literally the last person on earth I got this evil motherfucker hearing every word I say and watching me fap. God I hate people.
>>42575119Saturn is 7.
nevar alone
>>42574650>be it> a demonic entity, extra-dimensional vampire or a secret gangstalking agent>literally apex predator to NEET schizos>find a new prey>create a carefully tailored dread-inducing ambiance to make him break>all of a sudden, the prey pull down his pants and starts fapping furiously>every time he feels your presence, he starts beating his monkey>awkward>other demonic entities, extra-dimensional vampires or a secret gangstalking agents laugh behind your back at the coffee machine>nope the fuck out and go look for another preyJust make it awkward to hang around you anon. You're on 4chan, this should be 2nd nature to you.
