>>31126743
do you guys have any guides for "e-dating" (dming girls on Instagram and dating apps).

What photos do you even put on a dating app? Do I just go out and take a bunch of selfies until I have ones that look good enough? Seems retarded.

Another girl at work that I think is attractive walks by my area sometimes. I was thinking of scenarios where I ask her out.
So when she walked by I waved and she didn’t look so I said hey, and she said hey back and didn’t even smile and kept walking. How the hell am I supposed to ask her out. I rarely see her in the first place. I feel like literally every attractive white girl rejects me as soon as they see me.
I’m white, 6’6 and not obese. I have full head of hair and groomed.

>>31127327
>Another girl at work that I think is attractive walks by my area sometimes. I was thinking of scenarios where I ask her out.
What kind of job is it?
>I said hey, and she said hey back and didn’t even smile and kept walking. How the hell am I supposed to ask her out
I would start with trying to get her to talk to you. Right now it seems you're just an npc to her. Try an open ended question next time

>>31127353
I only see her when she’s walking to the restroom. If I tried to go into her work area and look for her I would look desperate or creepy. What am I supposed to ask her? I was going to ask what department she works in and then introduce myself, and then suggest we do something this week. but if I chase her down I can’t do that.

this girl I'm texting was talking about she's having a lazy day and wants to lie in bed all day. I met her the day before and she was obviously into me. is she hinting for me to come over and fuck?

>>31126743
I have this girl that I really like. And I am highly confident she likes me back as well. But she is really shy, and I'm not good at initiating conversation either. How do I start a conversation with her?
Problem is we've been seeing each other the whole semester everywhere now, but haven't talked to each other even though we've been in situations where it should have already happened. The year is about to end and I want to at least initiate conversation with her before it does. How do I go about doing it in a non-awkward manner and also it not being out of character. Because I can't go up to her and have a diff personality, compliment her like I've never seen her before. I probably have the most classes with her out of all people in my classes, she's well aware of my personality and probably that I like her as well. What do? I don't have trouble keeping a conversation up as long as it's started right. I just want to know how to initiate properly.

>>31127256
Need this info too. I got a little camera tripod but wtf kind of pictures do women want to see? Like specifics, 2-3 ft away, 3/4 profile, smiling/not, indoir/out? Im a normal man wuth friends but we dont take pics of each other so I kind of have to do this solo.

What's the best site/ app to talk to south east Asian girls?

>>31127388
"Do you want some company?"

>>31127406
"Hi. I'm anon. I've noticed you in a few of my classes. I thought I'd introduce myself. What's your name." and then "Nice to meet you, (her name). How is the semester going for you?" Etc etc etc

>>31127963
yeah I fumbled that shit. I think that was a clear opening

i got no bitches

>>31126743
I get rejected most of the time. When I don't (2 instances in the last 4 years), there's always some other guy in the picture who steals my girl.

Girl 1 left me to be in a LDR with an Austrian dude who messaged her on insta.
Girl 2 went on 3 dates with me, then some ex college friend of hers reached out and she dropped me instantly(she ended up getting pumped and dumped). I wish I had the dignity to ghost her, but I really loved this girl. So I tried texting her again in a while. 1 word replies after 10 hours.

Girl issues aside, I'm no loser. I've been improving myself for years, and I reached a pretty decent level for a 25 yo. I don't really understand why I'm doing so bad.

>>31127256
>>31127407
I've been regularly getting dates for a while on Hinge until I met my gf. I've gotten a lot of compliments on my profile pbotos, so I think I have it down.
Your first step is to figure out what kind of people you want to attract. Guys that go in trying to attract everyone by casting an extremely wide net rarely do well. You need to know if you're trying to attract the Catholic girl next door or the e-thot you keep seeing on Instagram.
The next step is to try to make a list of what you think your unique characteristics are. Everyone has something that they're better at than 90% of the population - that's why jobs exist. Try writing a short story about yourself in a way that would make a kindergarten class hooked by including those traits about yourself in the story.
Next, draw something for each page in your book. After making an illustration, ask yourself "how would the person I'm trying to attract react to this picture?" and "is this reaction desirable for what I'm trying to convey about myself?" If you're satisfied with both answers to that question, recreate that picture with a camera.
At the end of the day, you want to tell a story about yourself. It might not work for everyone, but it's worked great for me.

>>31126743
How do I determine a girl's age? There's a cute chick at a church I go to sometimes (normally I atrend another church) but I can't tell if she's over 18.

I've been told I have face blindness and sometimes I wonder if I'm a little autistic, but regardless I seriously don't know if she's in her early 20s or not. I don't know how to tell if she's old enough for me to pursue and worry if I ask about it people will accuse me of being a pedo if she's under 18.

>>31128399
Ask her about her interpretation of the sermon or gospel reading (I'm assuming you're Protestant), and find how it ties to an Old Testament prophecy or how you can apply it to your life. Most high schoolers aren't reading the Bible cover to cover or will have that level of understanding. After that, you have free rein to ask them about their job.

>>31124707
No but might she be able to see that I don't have any experience by my body language maybe.

seeing this iranian qt. she's so small and fem, but also lacks any kind of assertiveness. probably a cultural thing but I have to fix every date. also the small things, I have to chose the table, when we're walking she follow me, I have to chose the direction and pace. she expects me to be in the lead 24/7 pretty much. dunno why that bothers me, maybe 'cause I'm used to dating western women who are more assertive I guess. at least we spilt the bills 50/50

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>two first dates Saturday
>one Sunday
>one Monday
Bros, is this what making it feels like? I used to be full /r9k/ mode.

>talk with girl on dating app
>eventually ask to meet in person
>she wants to video chat first on discord
>links her discord and says she'll message when ready
>few days pass no message
>ask if she's still down
>couple days pass and she messages sorry she was busy
>drops her phone number and asks me to text if I'm still interested

I've been on these apps for months and this is the furthest I've gotten and the first supposed phone number. Is this some long con scam I'm not aware of? People always seem hesitant to give out phone numbers. Not sure how much damage can be done with a phone number which also makes me hesitate

>>31128506
Love Iranians, fun fact Persian is more similar to German than it is too Arabic. Probably why most Iranians are based and hate the jews

>>31128576
yeah I mad the huge mistake of comparing her culture to arabic culture. that didn't go over well. it's so weird to see how women from different cultures act tho. she came here at 17 so she's not westernized

>>31128573
Not a scam, women are just that hesitant to give out phone numbers. While there isn't too much damage you can do with just a phone number, some people like having a more private life.
I always just set up a date first and then if it goes well, I'll ask for their number at the end.

>>31127256

This was very much the thing that held me back for a long time as well. I was getting by with 3-4 "meh" photos that I had available but getting no results. I was in a miserable place watching video after video on youtube looking for advice and stumbled on one dude that said to get a professional photographer to take some good photos for this purpose. I can't even remember who he was now but I'm grateful I stumbled on it.

I ended up deciding I'd do it as an experiment and the photos/experience I got were really good. Went from getting like 1 match a month to 2-3 a day. The matches I got were also far more interested and got many more dates out of it. Felt like I turned the difficulty setting to easy. Might be something to consider?

>>31127366
>I only see her when she’s walking to the restroom
Try to catch her as she's returning to work, obviously
> What am I supposed to ask her? I was going to ask what department she works in
Yes, I would probably start with something work related to gauge her interest in talking to you. You haven't mentioned any signals she's given you, so you're kind of going in blind. That's fine if you think you can pull it off, but since this is a place where you're likely to see her again it's not as important to get something setup with her in the first conversation and you have the option of warming her up a bit first, just don't wait around after you sense interest from her.

>>31127407
>Im a normal man wuth friends but we dont take pics of each other
I'm assuming none of those friends are female or you would have some photos

>>31128617
are you supposed to ask for a number on the first meetup/date? I assumed it would be better to just get back on the app afterwards and either get a number or get unmatched.

>>31127327
In a scenario like this where I am rarely going to see a girl it’s important to make the most of your opportunities when you do see her so always put it in the back of your mind that you may run into her. I had a scenario in college where there was this gorgeous chick in my class and I never saw her anywhere else. One day I caught her walking into class and said hey and introduced myself. We ended up dating for a bit but fizzled out in a couple of months. I know your case is different with work and you don’t want to interrupt her but it may be worth it in the end
tldr: make the most of your opportunities.
>>31127388
You could go direct route and offer her your company or fuck around with her and say something like “sounds like you need a hobby”

As a rule I typically avoid offering to run and see her in a scenario like that because it comes off as desperate and like I have nothing better to do which is not the image I want to present myself in. Just a thought.
>>31127406
Avoid saying this >>31127963 because it comes off like you’ve been stalking her. Even if she noticed you staring at her or something you should act like you haven’t seen her around at all until you get the conversation going. That’s when you mention “I think you’re in my other class right” or something. The key is not coming off as a stalker or creepy in anyway. As far as starting the convo there is nothing better than a simple introduction followed with a compliment, joke, or even a joking roast.
For example if you catch her outside of class
>hey I think I’ve seen you around you’re in this class right?
>yeah I’m doing (good or bad) in that class what about you?
>either: I can help you out or I could use your help the work is pretty (hard or easy)
>whats your name btw (followed by a compliment or subtle roast of her name ie that’s a pretty name or sounds like a grandma name etc)
>oh my name is
>maybe we can study together sometime let me get your number

>>31127600
>What's the best site/ app to talk to south east Asian girls?
Which country are you most interested in? The regular apps work there too if you change your location, but there are sites for different countries. It's been a couple years since I've been over there, but TanTan was a decent app for meeting girls around Asia. Beware that on all apps over there some of the girls are looking for paid dates if you get what I mean.

>>31128565
Good work anon! How long did it take you to line them up? And where?

Am I a schizoid? what the fuck is wrong with me? I enjoy only the company of a select very few people and can't stand meeting new people or small talk. Most of the time, I prefer to be alone or hang with a good friend if I get too "alone". This ofcourse is a problem with dating for me.

>receive plenty of attention from women
>yeah sure, they're cute but-
>don't feel a thing
>just have no desire to initiate
>feels really forced just cause i'm a guy and oh shit a girl is showing interest you just gotta do it

I am not gay btw, I do feel attracted to women but its just not enough for me to go out and put in effort. In the past, I only chased women who made me catch feelings but then they do it to me, I feel nothing, I don't even want to use them for free sex..

>>31128318
If you aren’t ass ugly and have a good future then your game is likely what’s suffering. You need to improve your game. If you’re on here then I assume you’re a dry nerdy type who’s generally shy in most scenarios. Up your verbal IQ and you game in general. When you talk to girls is it very dry convo like hey how was your day? And you text them daily? I’m assuming it’s something like this. Be more flirtatious and sexually leading. Basically be bolder about your intentions (wanting to fuck/having a gf)
>>31128399
No real way to tell unless you ask or try to stalk her on social media. If you are around her age then ask some other churchgoers you know about her and if they know her. I’m sure someone will know her and if she’s of legal age and you aren’t like a 40 year old then let you friends know that you are interested in her. Word will spread along hopefully.
>>31128565
Congrats bro make the most of it. Just stay level headed and don’t psych yourself out.
>>31128573
>she wants to video chat
No thanks end it there that’s weird af.

>>31128565
Did you do any sort of transformation other than getting over being afraid of girls?

>>31128590

You done goofed brother.

Keep that one around though she sounds like a good one.

Iranian culture is up there too in terms of quality, it has built in safeties against jewish degeneracy. Once the west falls and the next holocaust happens I truly believe Iranians will be leading the ship for a while.

>>31128439
>>31128752
Thanks for the responses. I'm 25. So don't know where that places me. Only friends at the church is her grandpa so don't know if asking about her would seem weird.

Might try asking her about the sermon next time if I don't chicken out.

>>31128745
How old are you? If you're not that old it might just be a bit of depression, that doesn't necessarily mean sad, it can just mean low energy / unmotivated / lack of enjoyment

>>31128776
You’re friends with her grandfather and/or he’s a family friend? Dude you have such a solid in what are you thinking. Build a relationship with her grandfather and he will mention you to her over time. As will her parents or something. He’s probably a cool old guy so he can tell you some cool shit it’s a win win bc at least you will be friends with her grandpa even if she’s too young or it doesn’t work out. You don’t even need to befriend him like that. I’m guessing if she’s going to church as an almost adult she likely has reverence towards Jesus Christ and will be a great girl.

There is always the option of approaching her directly and talking to her but I would definitely talk to the grandfather first and become familiar with him so if you ever actually do get a chance with her he will only have nice things to say about you.

>>31128719
>are you supposed to ask for a number on the first meetup/date? I assumed it would be better to just get back on the app afterwards and either get a number or get unmatched
I always try to get their number while talking on the app when I ask them out. You don't want your messages to get lost between the 20 other dudes she's talking to on the app, especially if she has notifications off.

This girl I work with started talking to me about movies. She said there was something she wanted to see but didn't go. I asked her why and she said she didn't have anyone to go with.

Then I just said "oh." Was that a push for me to invite her? I'm skeptical nowadays.

>>31128841
You’re asking on here because you already know the answer?

It would seem she was hinting to you about asking her out.

bros most women are deluded as fuck. yesterday I want out with one of my best mates, he's a legit gigachad, and some fat 4/10 girl was shamelessly hitting on him in public. it was awkward. the same kinda girl that would turn her nose up an average looking bro approaching her ig. these females are deluded as fuck and out of control

>>31128876
The fat ones are always the most delusional. That’s expected from them desu. Good looking normal girls don’t hit on guys because they aren’t desperate and get hit on regularly. Fat chicks just take advantage of the pc culture because most guys will be nice to them in return to either actually fuck them if they had a slow night or to get with the hot friend she’s with which ironically enables the fat hurls to continue to act in this manner

>>31128709
Correct, I've asked my guy friends for help but they just take it immediately and it comes out kind of shit.

>>31128670
Howmuch did you spend. I tried to look this up but these people wanted like $600 it's insane that's like wedding photo tier, not spending 30 minutes with me taking a few pictures

>>31128841
>She said there was something she wanted to see but didn't go. I asked her why and she said she didn't have anyone to go with.
>Was that a push for me to invite her?
Yes, that is about as clear as a girl will ever make things

>>31128929

Was about 200 for me and I thought that was a quite a lot(this was a few years ago though). It'll depend where you are but maybe specifically googling with like "professional online dating photographer" or something too?

Shop around, I agree 600 sounds crazy expensive.

>>31128741
Thanks anon. Between 4 and 10 days for each one. 3 are from Hinge and the other was a daughter of my mom’s friend.
>>31128752
Thanks anon.
>>31128756
Yes absolutely. I started improoving 10 years ago (I’m 30 now). The biggest transformations were looksmaxxing, improving social skills, and “inner game” (mostly a shitload of therapy).

Question, how much does appearance matter? I've put a lot of effort into going to the gym, doing skincare, brushing my teeth every day, showering every day, staying abreast of fashion trends and dressing well, and wearing expensive fragrance, having long fashionable hair and keeping it styled well. My sister and female friends say I look great and have great style. However I don't get even a crumb of pussy after years of trying (I go on at least one date per month, usually 2-3 per month, and none of them go anywhere) so it feels like a complete waste of time. I know my problem must be something completely different, because there are guys way fatter, uglier, and dressing stupid who have no problem getting girls. I was planning on getting some expensive skin treatments, braces, and plastic surgery to become more attractive, but is it a waste of money?

For context, I'm 28, good career, lots of hobbies, lots of friends. I'm intelligent and spectrumy but not THAT autistic, like I get along with regular people fine and people at my job like me. I don't have a clue why women are sexually repulsed by me. My theory is that they can detect that I have no sexual or relationship experience, because I have some kind of tell (even though I try to lie) and they all refuse to give me a chance for that reason.

>>31128850
I'm only asking because I don't really know why this is coming up now. I've worked with her for months and she hasn't even really talked to me until a few days ago.

>>31128988
To superficial women, a lot. You're doing everything right, but your choice in women sounds very poor. Either that or you live on one of the coasts.

I go out a lot, but always have a negative mindset so I am defeated before I even try. My friends try to encourage me, but that makes it even worse. At 37 I thought I'd have this figured out, but it doesn't seem that way. I try to think positive thoughts to help. Sometimes that works, but then it's right back to defeating myself.

>>31128988
I don't even want to put all this effort, all those activities seem vain to me. I will become a wizard

>>31128988
The loooksmaxxing and improoooving to this extent is what gets most guys. Yes you want to be fit and look your best but you don’t want to be a metro sexual faggot about it. Hair care products? Skin cream? You sound like a chick and you may even look like a homo to most girls who see you. You have to seriously ask yourself, when your sister and her friends compliment you, would it be similar to that of what a stylish homosexual man may get?

I’ve never really taken care of my self like that. I lift weights, eat right and have a blue collar job that pays great. I am pretty rugged and outdoorsy and don’t know anything about any kind of gay shit that would be on a tabloid. I barely use my phone and don’t have social media. I’m average height and probably around 20% body fat. I don’t mean to sound like an asshole but I have women throwing themselves at me regularly. In my youth I fucked a lot of girls and had no problem doing it now I’m married with a kid and and probably around 25% body fat but still fit and my wife has to shield me from the younger women when we go out (I’m only 29)

TLDR don’t worry so much about your appearance to wear you seem like just another one of the gals

>>31128988

My theory is either you're subconsciously sabotaging yourself because you feel you're not worthy of getting with anyone, or you need to work on your "inner game".

You're also very attached to the outcome of wanting each date to achieve a specific thing, that this probably is affecting how you behave on the dates and thus make you blow it. It actually is quite easy from the outside to see when people are like this in person, and the girl you're on a date with probably does notice from your behaviour.

The fact you feel the need to lie about your past also suggests you're maybe not as confident as you need to be.

>>31128988
Definitely something social. Appearance is very important but girls will usually take a fun, cool average looking guy over a boring hot one.

How do you do on apps?

>>31128988
What exactly is your lie? And why do you feel the need to lie? You're only 28. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders for that age.

>>31129020
Why are the coasts worse?

>>31129033
>Why are the coasts worse?
More competitive markets

>>31127256
Go extreme ironing. Get an ironing board, get an iron, go to some cool location in nature, and get someone to take your photo. I get about 10 likes a week on Hinge and 7 of them are from this photo.

>>31128988
What does trying mean to you?

Also women aren't idiots, if you're lying about your sexual history in some attempt to impress them that's going to shine through more than any way you try to dress yourself up.

You don't have to explain your relationship history to anyone.

>>31129028
I know what you mean, but I don't look metro or gay, at least not compared to my peers. I do live near NYC (near enough that that's the closest place where women actually live that I can date) so that stuff is pretty normal, and I come off as way less of a faggot than the average guy around here.
>>31129030
>subconsciously sabotaging myself because I feel I'm not worthy
I definitely feel like I'm not worthy of getting with anyone, but what do you mean by sabotage? I feel that I am lowering my standards to an excessive degree because I have so little confidence in my attractiveness. I only date women who I'm not attracted to, autistic or fat, or who have visible mental illnesses, and I don't even bother giving the time of day to normal women. This seems like the opposite of sabotage, I'm practically scraping the bottom of the barrel and can't get anything.

>I'm very attached to the outcome of wanting dates to achieve a specific thing
Obviously, but what is the advice here? I'm already trying my hardest to pretend like I'm not, and pretend not to be desperate and bitter. Should I take an acting class? That is a serious question.

>the fact you feel the need to lie about your past suggests you're maybe not as confident as you need to be
I am not confident at all, of course. I'm almost 30 years old and I've never been loved and can't have any dating success, it would be absolutely delusional to have a shred of confidence in this situation. So again, what is the advice? It sounds like you're saying to pretend to be confident which is what I do, and which is exactly why I lie about my past. After all, the only reason girls care about confidence is because it's a signal that a man has had previous sexual success. If I acted confident while being honest about my past, it wouldn't make any sense, they would probably think I'm a schizophrenic or a violent sexual offender.

>>31129130
Have you ever gone on a date with someone you were attracted to?

I never really feel *into it* with a woman. It feels more like I'm trying to maneuver through a puzzle. I want to know what it feels like to really love someone. I want to experience a spark.

>>31129031
I am really good at using dating apps. I can reliably get 2-3 dates per month with women that I don't find repulsive, and I could probably get way more if I could stomach going on more. I have been autistically fine tuning my method for a decade at this point and I have it down to a science.

I have an autistic friend that I met from a previous job, who was also a girlfriendless virgin, and I set his profile up and taught him how to communicate with the women on Hinge. Following my advice he had a hot girlfriend in about a month. And they are still dating to this day, which is years later.

>>31129033
The lie is that I have had previous girlfriends and I'm not a virgin. I have a solid fake background which includes 3 fake girlfriends which I keep straight so I can lie about it quickly and naturally. I feel the need to lie because I've experimented with telling girls that I am a virgin who has never been a girlfriend, and they always instantly lose attraction for me. I believe that women rely on social proof as the #1 most important indication about whether something is good or bad, in all domains, and it's no different in dating.

I only plan on lying about this until I actually get a real girlfriend. Then for subsequent girls I will not lie about it anymore. I know this is unethical and I feel bad about it, but I am still willing to do it if that's what it takes.

>>31129115
Of course, I'm not bringing this up as a form of boasting. I do not voluntarily explain my relationship history. But still, women always talk about relationships and exes. Sometimes they directly ask, usually it's just innocuous mention like "don't you hate when you have a partner and they do xyz". In those situations I always just lie and pretend so I never let them know that I have no idea.

>>31129130

You misunderstand what I mean by sabotaging yourself. It's not about those who you're selecting, it's that there's something in your behaviour. I think because you feel you don't deserve it, you behave in a way that makes sure you don't get it. Probably on a subconscious level, because you "know" you don't deserve it, and it's easier to be miserable in the way you know now than to actually get a win then lose it later. This is admittedly speculation based on my own experiences, but it is just a theory.

Don't pursue girls you're not interested in, that is a recipe for making you miserable even if you attain it. Aim for what you actually want.

Detaching from the outcome is really hard. I get that. I can only offer the advice I have been because I've been right where you are. I know how inescapable it feels, but it is possible. It just takes a TON of work. I made it to 28 before finally getting anywhere. It's hard.

You need to find what your inner demons are and beat them. You deserve to be happy, same as anyone else. You have as much right to pursue what you want in this life as anyone else. You have the same worth as anyone else. You're not any worse than anyone else. You matter. You just need to actually internalise that belief and it'll come across in your interactions.

In terms of practical advice, a lot of people cringe with PUA stuff and it has become a bit of a meme, but I was struggling the way you are now when it was in it's peak and it really did help me. You need to filter out all the cringe elements but I learned a ton about body language, social interactions, what kind of things women are actually attracted to, social queues that suggest a woman is interested, how to escalate etc. from that. I found it massively beneficial but do approach it cautiously as there are elements that are a bit embarassing. It's complicated.

>>31129215
What goes wrong on the dates then?

>>31129137
Yes, in 2019 I managed to go on 4 or 5 dates with a girl who I was actually attracted to and didn't have any mental illnesses. The entire time, I could not believe it was really happening, and it felt like I was living in a dream. I was also racked with anxiety because I knew she would come to her senses and realize she was way out of my league. Eventually she did. (Before you say it, I know I am supposed to pretend like I don't feel this way, and I did my best)

Overall, the experience was extremely emotionally intense and I was actually kind of glad when it was over.

>>31126758
Somebody needs to answer this

>>31126743
how do I get a girlfriend who is into light bdsm and gets me other younger women to sleep with?

>>31128399
16 is legal in most states. check your local laws

>>31128752
>if she’s of legal age and you aren’t like a 40 year old t
why would that be an issue if she's of legal age?

>>31126758
I can speak for Hinge, which tends to be focused more on serious dating than hookups. I don’t speak much differently from girls I meet in real life. I have an interesting profile so they might ask questions about it. I might ask about hers. Or we’ll just make small talk about our days. If the conversation flows I ask them out. So getting good at talking on dating apps (when not looking for an immediate hookup) is not much different t than talking in real life. Get good at talking in real life and you’ll get good at talking on apps.

>>31129221
Thanks, it sounds like you're mostly saying to just keep doing what I'm doing but do a better job at it. So I will keep at it.
I got into the PUA stuff when I was in high school, when I was like 16-18, back then the redpill subreddit was big. I have read a ton of those books and I know about the tips. I think it changed the way I think about women and my interactions with them into becoming literally gamified, and something to autistically analyze and try to win. It never helped me and I think it had a negative impact on my mindset because I made dating into a game and subsequently "lost." I am now trying to rewire my brain to actually not hate women and try to enjoy their company which I think will make me hate dating less, and help me pretend not to be so outcome-focused more convincingly.

>>31129231
I don't know, nothing that I can ever detect. We usually have a pleasant time with her pretending to like me, then later I'll text and ask if she wants to have another date and she'll say no.

I am not sure if it's really impossible to tell if women like you, because they always lie about it to be polite, or if I am unique in never having experienced what it's like for a woman to actually be into me. When I was younger I used to be constantly surprised every time a woman would reject me after our date because it always felt like a blindside. Now, I always expect it to happen, just based on my learned experience, though I never was able to figure out why.

>>31126743
I want to try tinder but it feels really cringe to post photos of myself.

>>31129130
I’m near nyc too. I’m from a more rural area and when I go into the city or north jersey I clean up. All of my friends and my brother does too. If you live in the urban area I would say be your authentic self but idk if you are an urban metro kid or not so I would give it a little more ruggedness with my look. Most of my friends are kids from the more urban areas and they’re either niggerfied or their metro and I never was without women
TLDR: urban women crave real rugged men who aren’t metro or wannabehood

>>31129208
>It feels more like I'm trying to maneuver through a puzzle.
Remember that for the most part women are just trying to protect themselves while simultaneously looking for an intimate connection. They aren't trying to confuse men. They often simply assume men know everything they know and are acting on that information.
So if you find yourself confused when dealing with a girl, I recommend just putting your cards on the table and directly communicating. Every time I had things blow up, it would have gone better if I had just been clear and direct.

As far as love and spark goes, sparks fly when there's a lot of matched compatibility. Love happens after a longer time together to form the connection.

I was planning to go on a date with a girl this Saturday; she agreed and everything. However, today she told me she has genital herpes, and I cancelled the date. I'm glad she told me before I started to develop actual feelings. In spite of this, I still feel pretty sad cause she was nice and pretty; her images on the dating app gave her a wholesome and innocent appearance. But, I guess I was deceived. I truly do wish the best for her, it must be pretty brutal and really really do appreciate her honesty.

Man but like all this shit is so tiring. I'm 25 and feel like if I don't find a gf in 5 years it's pretty much over. tfw khhv

>>31129354
just do it dog

>>31129332
Rizz problem. Your looks help you get the first date, but your personality will get you a second. Girls like guys who are confident, interesting and funny. Fixing these things isn’t quick but it sounds like what you need to do.

I will never truly know if this cute girl I work with is actually into me or is the same way with other coworkers as well unless I ask her out which will fuck up my work situation.

She ticks a lot of the boxes that makes me think she is 100% flirting with me, but at other times it seems like she does the same to other guys as well.

>>31130087
>She ticks a lot of the boxes that makes me think she is 100% flirting with me, but at other times it seems like she does the same to other guys as well.
These do not contradict whatsoever.

To help get over my fear of women, I’ve started giving benign compliments. they all smile, real smiles, and say thanks!

>>31130094
Yes, correct. I guess what i should’ve said was that I feel like she 100% is into me while at other times it feels like she also flirts with other guys at the office

I am tired of interacting with girls. It's like they don't even want to be friends with me or acknowledge that I exist. One particular day I'm talking to some girl and it's a great conversation, flash forward they don't even bother saying hi to me unless I first say hi to them. I am tired of always being the first one to initiate. I have guy pals who are really good friends with females without any sexual interest, but I am unable to create that same level friendship with any woman that I know. It doesn't help that I always end up falling for them whenever they're nice to me. What advice do you guys have for me?

>haven't approached girls since I got really sick a month ago
>fuck it, force myself to approach qt military tomboy in the gym
>insanely fast, brief answer interrogation style convo for less than 3 minutes
>def seemed like she didn't want to talk, and didn't smile
I expected bad, and my goal was just to get over the approach anxiety, but man I'm embarrassed... can you follow up stuff like this? Even if I just want to make a female friend? I can't even do that it seems like...

Should I ask out my neighbor literally across the hall from me? She's the hottest, nicest seeming girl I know, and we've talked a bit, running into each other in the halls and she always seems happy to see me. If it doesnt go well then we're both stuck there. Should I wait till I move out and then give her my number so she feels no pressure? I think it'd be weird if we get stuck in an elevator randomly after she already knows i want to fuck her

>>31130245
Doesn't go well? Wtf are you trying to be her friend or something? Ask her out and if she says no stop caring about her. You are only talking to her because you like her. If she was a 1/10 would you bother speaking to her? No, you wouldn't. You don't want to be her friend, so if you ask her out and she says no, then you don't lose anything. Do it next time you see her pussy.

>>31130245
How often do you see her?

I used to be super nervous about asking people out I saw day-to-day because of the feeling of awkwardness if they reject me, but at this point I've actually gone on dates that didn't work out + got flat out rejected by a few of the regulars in my gym and I realize that after a certain point things kinda go back to baseline. You'll feel really mad at yourself for a bit and cringe, but then it's whatever. You probably even stop cringing after a certain number of these kinds of scenarios

>>31130171
>def seemed like she didn't want to talk, and didn't smile
Male or female, some people are just not interested in socializing, could be because of you, or because they want everybody to fuckoff while they're working out.
>can you follow up stuff like this?
I would just take the L here and try again with somebody else that looks more receptive

>>31130282
True, I've not seen her talk to anyone, same with the last girl I tried. I swear she was taking peeks at me while I was doing cable flys with my sleeves rolled up. I guess if she wants to chat again she'll let me know.

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>>31126743
Girl I'm talking to says that I'm clingy but what's the actual problem with this? I don't really care about anything in life, kind of have a picrel mindset. Never had gf either so maybe I seem desperate. She's my first kiss and closest I've ever had to a gf. Why is it wrong for me to be 'clingy'?
>t. 23yr old virgin

>>31130570
Because your happiness is dependent on her. It's a burden, and shows you are not a whole person on your own. She will 100% leave you if you can't fix yourself. Women do not want men that are emotionally unstable (which is what clingyness is). Women are emotionally unstable already, and want men who are emotionally stable to be their anchor. You cannot provide that for her and it shows. She is giving you a chance to change by telling you what she wants. If you don't listen, well, I already told you what will inevitably happen.

>>31126743
How do i know if an older female (than me atleast) is interested in me?
She's about 10 years my senior (30) and is going to the same college than me.
I've texted her on and off since October and most radio silence is due to both of us being autistic retards (i identified her, the first time anyone ever told her she was on the spectrum since she got diagnosed with it as a child) and i really want to know if i've lost my chance.
For starters we've disscussed most of our lives and fairly personal trauma, have the excuse of school to come up with small talk and have shared interests we have but it's hard to get the ball rolling.

Thing is i've never had a gf and sincerely i don't know if i care about her in that way.

I really want to have sex and her last relationship was like 5 years ago so idk how i could take advantage of that.

>>31130977
>take advantage
You're clearly desperate for sex, and therefore are extremely unlikely to get it. Women can sense that shit from a mile away.

>>31130981
I phrased it wrongly then, how can i fix the desperate bit?

>>31130983
Either having multiple women interested in you, or being secure being alone in your current state will fix your desperation. If you have multiple women interested in you, you aren't scared of losing one since she is easily replaced. If you want to not be desperate but can't get women, you will have to learn to love yourself and accept being a virgin, and being girlfriendless, and being ok with potentially never having sex or getting a girlfriend, because you understand they won't actually make you happy. Only you can make you truly happy and satisfied. Immerse yourself in the things you like, and start building a life doing what you want to do. Then you will also not be afraid to lose a woman because you know sex or a relationship will not make you happy.

>meeting with a group of friends for lunch
>friend from Chile comes in holding hands with a guy
>she comes up and hugs all of us
>kisses me on the forehead when she greets me
>she doesn't do this to anyone else

I shouldn't read anything into this, should I? It really caught me off guard.

>>31131024
The former is really hard to fake until you've actually experienced it firsthand. I experienced it firsthand before experiencing experiencing it firsthand firsthand.
>>31130977
If you're 20 and she knows you're also on the spectrum then I think you have a chance of playing the young, naive, inexperienced type. If you actually feel young, naive and inexperienced then you can just bee yourself lmao. I don't know how different it is with the tism but just keep trying to meet in person as much as you can and then move things forward there.

>>31131180
>The former is really hard to fake until you've actually experienced it firsthand. I experienced it firsthand before experiencing experiencing it firsthand firsthand.
I wasn't suggesting he fake it because yeah, it's impossible. He should try and fix himself first.

bump

>>31126743
Hey bros, I need help. I have really turned everything around in the past year or so with some help thanks to this thread. I have a solid group of friends that I go out with regularly. We have a good time and I’ve been talking to girls more and more and have actually had some success on apps since I updated my pics. My main problem now is not being able to close with girls I feel like I just keep fumbling every opportunity I get. I’ve been getting great at approaches when I’m out and have gotten a lot more adventurous and it feels fucking great. I just can’t seem to go all the way though. I have gotten a few numbers but not sure how to go from there. My texting game sucks and this is where I mostly struggle but even finishing irl sucks and I don’t get any ass and leave with blue balls.

tldr how do i go about fucking a girl and getting her to meet up after I’ve successfully hit on her and got her number? Where do I go after that first convo and how do I meet up with her later?

>>31128724
the same girl is trying the shame shit again I think. saying she's skipped her classes and working from home today. god damn man. the issue is that I have a date tomorrow night with a girl I'm more into. the idea of fucking this one girl today and the next one tomorrow sounds appealing to my ego but I also feel kinda bad for some reason. I think I might like that second girl more than I care to admit

>>31130245
Do it and don't think twice. I made the mistake of not doing it and a week before we moved she asked me why I never asked her out and we hung out until like 5 am. It would have been a good match and more fun in the future, but I was too passive. Don't repeat my mistake.

>>31130941
>Because your happiness is dependent on her. It's a burden, and shows you are not a whole person on your own
This isnt true, but the rest of what you say makes some sense, thanks. I dont think anything in life really matters except love though. Maybe I need a more compatible girl desu

>>31132541
a week before she moved, not we moved

>>31132504
Don’t feel bad and certainly don’t get caught up in your feels. You aren’t exclusive with any one girl so don’t treat them like you are. You are single playing the field presumably trying to find a good wife. Just live life and enjoy what it has to offer. If you think you can bed the one girl today than go for it. Meet up with the other girl later who cares. Feed the ego a little just make sure to keep it in check too

>>31132504
>>31132605
To add to this tho, I will say that if you’ve had a decent amount of messing around with girls and haven’t felt the feeling you’ve had for the one girl you like more before and she reciprocates that feeling then yes proceed with caution. I would still fuck around and do what I do tho. It’s counter intuitive to what you think will happen. You think that you fucking around still while you both have a lot of interest in each other will drive her off but it will only make her want you more and establish yourself as the dominant one in the relationship if it were to culminate into one. Wait for her to express to you that she wants to be more exclusive with you. You can’t express that first (this is the mistake most men make nowadays) because when you do that it puts her in the more dominant position of the relationship. I know this sounds like bs but it does matter and I learned this the hard way.

This goes for all guys. If you are in the dating non exclusive stage with a woman then you need to let her express to you first that you want to be exclusive. All women want a guy that they had to wrangle in that’s how you keep her forever and keep her loyal to you

>>31132544
>I dont think anything in life really matters except love though. Maybe I need a more compatible girl
A "more compatible girl" is a crazy bitch that will ruin your life, but you do you

What would be the best way to take a coworker on a date? Dont give me the dont shit where you eat. I am specifically asking because going for drinks after a long work day is not a thing where I work and we live about 2 hours away from each other so it’s not like we can easily casually meet up in the weekend.

>>31132722
>don’t give me the don’t shit where you eat crap
Based. Idk why anons say this. I get the sentiment but as long as you aren’t a retard about it it will go fine whether it works out or not.
>live two hours away from each other
Do you work from home or something? If you both work at the same location the only thing you can really do is ask her out to lunch after you establish a rapport with her like introducing yourself if you happen to run into her at work and making her laugh a couple of times

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this chick shows her cleavage like this in every pic. Thinking of just cutting the bullshit for once and initiate sexting from the get go. What should I write her? I'm thinking of something moddest at first like "Cant stop looking at your pics *wink emoji*"

>>31132759
are you chad? if so that might work. the better looking you are the more direct you can be

Today the girl at work looked right at me when walking by and I said hey and she smiled and said hey back.
She was walking fast and I just didn’t act fast enough to ask her out. Should I try to look for her or would that give her the ick?

>>31132461
Pls help

>>31132737
I am already past the having lunch and make her laugh. But we usually have lunch with our whole team (about 6 people), so it’s not 1 on 1. That’s why I am thinking of escalating our hangs to something more 1 on 1 without specifically asking her on a date. I was thinking of saying I am in her city a certain day and if she wants to grab some drinks/food but it’s odd for me to be 2 hours away from my city for no real reason/without already having plans to meet someone

>>31132802
>I was thinking of going to her city and saying I’m there
This is good you’re on the right track. This is your best option and Theres a couple of ways to go about this. You could either surprise her and tell her you’re there and ask if she wants to meet up. You need a reason for being there so find a friend or family member or cool thing to do in that area and say that’s why you were there in the first place. This is risky of course and she likely won’t meet up out of the blue like this.

Or the better option is to tell her at work that you were going to her city but act like you didn’t know she lived there.
>Hey what are you doing this weekend?
>she answers and asks you
>I was planning on doing this cool thing in your city have you ever heard about it.
Say you were going to do with a friend or something but haven’t gotten to do it or that the friend bailed last minute and then ask her to go with you. That’s the route I would take to be more direct and ensure that she will be there and be available

I talked to 4 women today, although 3 of them were older. At my doctors appointment the receptionist was very cute and friendly (she said hello). I then talked to the nurse who was older. After thought I had to go to the quick store to pick up some hard seltzer and vasoline. An older lady walked past me in the aisle and then I went to the checkout line were the cashier initiated the conversation by asking if I found everything I needed. I feel like I blew 4 opportunities, but I'm not sure how to escalate the conversation. Any tips?

>>31132461
>get number
>wait a few days
>text her "Hey <Name>, it's Anon <from wherever you met or some reference to how you met>, how are you?
>after you exchange another text or two you ask her to go to something with a location, proposed day and time
>if she's interested, she'll either agree to the time or suggest another time

If you're bad at texting, text as little as you have to and use it primarily for meeting up.

>>31132889
Ok I do end up texting a little too much I think I will keep it simple and direct as best as I can. What about closing the same night. I’m having a good time with her and get her number but I usually end up getting separated. How do I text her same night to meet up? What do I say?

>>31132904
idk, I'm not really a hook-up guy. I imagine you'd probably want to invite her to your place rather than ask her for her number and not let her go in the first place.

>>31132802
Why can't you just ask her to get dinner or go do something after work while you're still in the same city?

>>31132904
>>31132916
If you're already out with her why would you text her?

>>31126743

Women choose men like we choose food at the buffet.
If you see a bunch of people eating a certain food, you have an uncontrollable urge to try it as well.

>>31132886
You're wanting to practice on people doing their jobs. It's not that you can't, it's just that you're talking to someone on unequal footing and it's their job to be nice to you.

You can shoot the shit if you just need practice getting comfortable chatting with women, but when you say, "escalate the conversation" I assume you mean asking for their number or flirting?

>>31132778
Have you talked to her before enough to get a sense that she's comfortable with you?
Replying "hey" with a smile isn't much. For asking someone out at work where things could get awkward, I would prefer somewhat more indication that she's cool with me.

If you want to ask her out, tracking her down might seem aggressive which might in turn put her off. But it might also be flattering. That could legitimately be one of the times where if she likes you it is charming and if she doesn't it is creepy. Which again, I personally would avoid seeming aggressive at work. But that's me.
My advice would be, instead of seeking her out, to put yourself in a position to see her again. Like getting coffee or whatever where you might catch her. And then respond like seeing her again gives you the idea to ask her out. Make it look like you're thinking "Oh hey, there's Coworker again, she's attractive. You know what? I wonder if she's single and interested." And not "I've been thinking you all day and now I found you!"

And if you don't see her today, ask her when you do see her, the same casual way.

>>31132916
I always think about logistics and my place sucks so it really has to be at hers. I’ll just have to go with that.
>>31132946
With my new found confidence I kind of just run around all over the place when I’m out now and talk to any girl I find attractive. Maybe I just need to settle down and chill with one girl to go home with her

>>31132904
>I’m having a good time with her and get her number but I usually end up getting separated. How do I text her same night to meet up? What do I say?
If she gives you her number and then you get separated, then you need to either find her in person or lower expectations for the night. I can only imagine a few reasons to text that night:
If she's gone with her friends to another bar or restaurant something and you and your friends want to follow.
If she just suddenly disappeared and you're like "Hey, where'd you go?" She'll probably explain she had to bounce or whatever. It likely won't go anywhere that night. You can ask but you're not turning a hard no into a yes at that point. Unless she's saying a soft no like "I shouldn't...", then try again another time.
Or if it's the end of the night and you send something about how much you enjoyed meeting her or something flirty. If the two of you bounce increasingly flirty texts back and forth, you might escalate it to a booty call.

But typically, once you get a number and she leaves, that's as far as you're getting that night. One night stands don't typically happen after one person goes home alone.

>>31132988
I’m afraid someone is already going to snatch her

>>31133109
Idk

But fear based decisions are ALWAYS a mistake.

>>31132857
Really good stuff, thanks. I was also thinking of maybe reversing it somewhat by saying I have no specific plans for the weekend but wanted to see if there is something fun to do in her city, and then playing of on what she says

>>31132929
Well yeah that’s easiest but it feels kinda awkward to suggest something like that when you have just had a long work day and you both probably just want to go home

>>31133151
You can try it. I’ve learned from experience that you always (no matter the girl) want to show that you have other shit that you are doing and that you have something of a social life. It’s an immediately attractive quality to be a man who has plans and a social life. When you ask her to do something with her in the way you’re suggesting it just communicates a feeling of desperation and nothing better to do. It depends on the girl and how she will receive it tho. If she’s a shy chick who has nothing going on then yeah she may be down for it but not usually the case in my experience. Women like a guy who has shit going on without them.

>>31133141
What if she says she has a bf, do I ask to be friends and keep in touch? I want to be next up.

Okay fags, what can I put into practice IMMEDIATELY to get women to approach me, assuming I can’t drop 20 lbs or gain Chad’s facial structure today? Specifically in the context of a club/bar.

>>31133209
That makes sense. But wouldn’t it be similar if I said I have plans to do whatever fun thing in her city but somehow no one to do it with? Saying how a friend bailed out last minute is so cheesy

>>31133215
Brother you need to talk to more women / people in general if you are this obsessed about someone who only looked at smiled at you. You have not even talked to her. Get a grip, for real.

>>31133327
>women to approach me
Women don't approach men, if you want women to approach you, you're acting like a woman. Women don't want to date women, they want a MAN who takes action and talks to women he likes. Holy shit you're a pussy.

>>31133364
I mean hey if I can get a closeted lesbian to date me I see that as a win, I have no problem admitting that everything you said about me is correct. Doesn’t change the fact I want women to approach me.

>>31133338
It’s because she’s pale white, and doesn’t have face piercings, I don’t know if she has body piercings, but it’s rare to see them these days.

>>31133476
I get it, but still. You don’t know her, she very likely doesn’t even know you exist. If you see her again just make some small talk and you can gauge her interest

>>31133494
We’ve made eye contact at least 3 times and smiled, except for the other day when she avoided looking at me.
I just don’t know where to find pale white women that aren’t fat and covered in tattoos and face piercings anymore. She’s also tall for a woman. I’m 6’6 and don’t want a woman under 5’6.

>>31133523
Point still stands. People make eye contact with dozens of people everyday without even really knowing who they are. You are obsessing. Just talk to her next time to see if there is a connection. But for now just chill man

>>31133545
I bet I missed my chance last week she probably has a bf/gf now

>>31133376
>Doesn’t change the fact I want women to approach me.
You wanting this doesn't change the fact women will not do this unless you are model tier Chad.

>>31133327
If you have sub 12% bf and show it off you will get approached no matter how your face looks. Or you can be really handsome too. Women won’t approach 95% of guys.
>>31133328
It’a similar sure. I just say use the friend thing so it’s not that outwardly obvious that you’re letting her know you’re into her. I would and do proceed with work relations with a little more caution than I would with uni for example. The first thought in both your heads is
>is this going to fuck up my job
So you want to be cautious about it and not too enthusiastic about letting her know you’re into her. You have to let work relations bake for some time before you can pull it from the oven that’s why the best route is slow and cautious and not outwardly trying to date her but more so be her cute work friend first that she doesn’t mind being with out of work. It’s a finer line that must be walked especially in your particular case given the distance between you and her. That’s why you have to make it seem like happenstance that you were in her city and not solely there for her.

Of course you can go the more direct route but you may startle her like a deer in the woods. With the excuse of you being there or you saying you had plans to check out something cool there is a lot more inviting for her to be inclined to meet you

>>31133671
Yes I understand slow is the best approach in this case. It’s just an annoying situation in that there is no easy way to actually assess her interest (besides being too forward and directly asking her on a date). There are many signs of interest, but then again, I can’t be certain.

>>31133865
>assess interest
I think this is a big common mistake that most guys on here make which is why they struggle with women. Too many suffer from this sort of timidity of waiting for acts of god to tell them whether or not to pursue a girl. There is no such thing and you will be waiting forever because even if they may give off signs they will be for the most part be subtle and hard to detect/determine her level of interest. This is why the bold chad gets the girls because he doesn’t wait for signs. He puts his plan of attack in action or they just go for it and risk it but they do something about it. This is what you have to do. You have a loose plan of attack now. All you have to do is act it out and see how it goes.

>>31133639
Seriously stop thinking like this, it shows on your face more than you know
>>31133376
Okay but that's outside your control. Wanting women to approach you won't get you to talk to more women. Approaching women will get you to talk to more women.

>>31126743
Anons, how do I get over this girl? This coworker. Work with her a lot. But I think she likes someone else. She went on a fucking overseas trip with him. They are always together. Like best friends. Or something more. But I can't get over her. Im obsessed with her. Im in love with her. She is kind to me. But I know she likes someone else. It's been 18 months. How the fuck do i get over her. Im fucking helpless.

>>31133928
You are absolutely correct once again. I am just not too sure yet on how to execute the plan of attack in a natural way. I do know we have a project coming up that we will likely have to work overtime on together so that gives potential to grab some dinner together which is a lot easier to suggest, but still has the risk of not being sure if we wouldn’t rather just go home as soon as possible instead of staying longer for food.

>>31133964
It doesn’t show on my face, I don’t simp for women.

>>31134059
>We’ve made eye contact at least 3 times and smiled, except for the other day when she avoided looking at me.
Dude you're desperate

>>31134068
I don’t see any others to ask at work

>>31134165
Then see >>31133338

How to get a girlfriend, have some balls in not making yourself an easy target to people trying to waste your time and money telling you how to get one.

>>31132954
>>31132954
Thank you very much, sir. This is most likely the case. I will now reevaluate my situation keeping the wisdom you have imparted in my mind.

>>31134185
I was saying I might have a chance if she smiled at me I did not say I’m obsessed because she smiled at me. Most women give me RBF. And there just aren’t many pale white young women that don’t fuck black men or have black children.

>>31133215
>do I ask to be friends and keep in touch? I want to be next up.
Dude, fuck no. You act chill and keep talking to her casually if it happens. You don't fucking orbit or wait around. Being "next up" isn't a thing. There's just losers pining for women they don't have and scumbags trying to fuck women they pretending to be friends with.
You don't have to ghost her but move the fuck on.

Been into a girl for 5 months, she works at my school library, graduated 2 years ago, im older than her and am graduating in a couple weeks. her boomer coworker told me everything about her and is trying to set her up and told me I just can't fraternize with her till I graduate, no problem, then her and I had a good talk and things clicked. This semester rolled around and I would interact with her at the library but her demeanor changed, more neutral and evasive, though still cordial. Meanwhile I've grown so infatuated I couldn't stop annoying my girl friends about it, one of them got tired and went and asked her if she likes me, she said she's never allowed to date anyone who was a student and my friend said "good so he can move on" and she said "yep".
>tldr do I never talk to her again haha since its not a "fuck yes"? the plan was to ask her out after graduation but looks like this is a hard no or that's her excuse to let me down easy

>>31133523
>We’ve made eye contact at least 3 times
Oh, I'm sorry. I must be wrong then. I do apologize. By all means keep waiting for this girl until the end of time.

How do you deal with the girl starts talking to another guy shit test? Like a girl you're with at a bar or club, not a girlfriend. (I'm pretty sure it was a shit test because she kept looking back at me as if she was seeing if I was jealous)

>>31134272
Stop watching porn
>>31134368
Start talking to other people (preferably away from the direction she's facing), eventually if she really is mad she'll go talk to you.

>>31134280
Women always have another person lined up for when the breakup happens
>>31134396
I watch pale white women showing their feet, the videos have for some reason become harder to find for free.
There’s a black on YouTube that brags about how white guys will never experience it.

>>31134339
personally i would move on only after asking her myself, good luck brother

>>31134491
You should probably stop watching feet videos on Youtube for the same reason you should stop watching porn (they're the same thing)

>>31134515
I usually think about the beautiful women I have seen irl and what their feet would look like when I masturbate. But sometimes I enjoy looking at new feet.

>>31134496
thanks, that's what I thought too, and the slight cope is that since im still a student for a month, any answer she would give would have to be what she gave. Also she had said that im a nice guy but that in training they were taught to be a brick wall if a student hits on them etc. Career chicks baka.

>>31134515
Stop feeding the troll
>>31126743
I'm a chubby chaser and Hinge stopped recommending me fat chicks. I get conventional mids who look like they could be working email jobs at any large corporation. Did I accidentally get my elo rating too high to see the fatties by left swiping a bunch? This is a problem I never knew existed.

>>31134581
I’m not a troll

>>31132544
>>31130570

It's more of, "Wow, this guy texts me all day, wants to hang out with me all day / every day. Does he not have anything else to do?" Now, there are girls that like this and love clingy guys, however this girl isn't one of them. Luckily she is communicating it to you. Even if you have a lot of free time to spend with her or text her, you need to hold off a bit.

I work for myself, thus I end up having a lot of extra time. However, I make sure I still take my time to reply to girls I'm seeing (unless it's urgent). If I reply instantly, every time they text, it seems like I'm way too eager for their messages.

I've had girls that were this clingy and it gets annoying fast. I will say it's cute at first but I'm a very "I need my space" kind of person (unless we live together) but it gets tiring fast.

What's the point of getting women when you have a small dick?
They're just going to be disgusted and make an excuse to leave or something.

>>31134822
Guys with small cocks need love too. Hope you're good at eating pussy.

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>in middle school
>after PE
>we were going back to school/classes, entire class (30+ people)
>my crush that i failed to hit on/ask on a date was from a rich/local political family, and i got some shit from popular kids for hitting on her
>we were going past a billboard with her father because a local election was going on
>one guy said "look, it's anon's father-in-law"
>"anon? what girl would want him lmao"
>*EVERYONE fucking laughs*
>I was like 13-14 then.

Now i'm 26. Shit still haunts me. Never had a gf or even a single date since then. Every single time i asked a girl out on a "date", i got rejected. Even if i got close to a girl, after i got interested she stopped giving me any attention and was giving it to other guys instead 100 times more easily.

They were right. There is no world, timeline or possibility where a girl will find a guy like me attractive. It's best i just fucking kill myself and stop wasting everyone's time.

>>31132544
>everyone who exists today is alive because people found companionship and mated

>bro it's not normal to want a relationship

Many such cases.

>>31132636
Im not gonna drop her because of it, but I would prefer her to be 'more interested' in me. Sometimes I wonder if she'd be more interested if I was Chad. Who knows?
>>31134812
Yeah I realized that but we're both students at the same university. We both have part-time jobs and we know each other's schedules. I'm glad she's communicating it to me, but I just wish she wasnt like that.
>Even if you have a lot of free time to spend with her or text her, you need to hold off a bit.
I do, its just really boring because I honestly dont have anything else to do and I would rather spend time with her than scrolling on 4chan or watching YouTube shorts for 4 hours.
>If I reply instantly, every time they text, it seems like I'm way too eager for their messages.
I understand the logic behind this I just hate that things are this way. Fuck this gay ass world.
>>31135148
I'm not sure what you are trying to say. I assume its something satirical.

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Hey anons. This girl and I are setting up a meet cute so she doesn’t have to explain to people we met on Hinge. Her friend told me she’s going to be at a certain coffee shop on Sunday. What’s the rizziest way for me to notice her there and ask to join her?

Simplest would probably be taking a sip of my coffee when I get it and noticing her as I lower the cup. But I thought it might also be kind of funny if I brought a newspaper and read it for like 5 minutes at my table before seeing her. Any other ideas?

>>31135237
What is a meet cute

>>31135203
>I do, its just really boring because I honestly dont have anything else to do and I would rather spend time with her than scrolling on 4chan or watching YouTube shorts for 4 hours.
That is perfectly fine. However, a lot of girls don't like that. They don't want to be your sole dependent of entertainment. They want a guy who is busy working on their hobbies, striving to better themselves, working on themselves and being self fulfilling. Not many girls want their BF to hang out with them all day because they have nothing else to do. Even if they do want to hang out with you a lot, they will start to wonder if you even have a life.

There are women out there that do like to spend a lot of time with their SO but to be honest, I think you would quickly get tired of it if the roles were reversed. To be honest, I feel like the couples that spend that much time together that don't live together usually are people who don't do shit all day besides smoke weed. Unless you both play the same video games, watch the same TV shows etc.

>I understand the logic behind this I just hate that things are this way. Fuck this gay ass world.
Just the way the world is. If you give a woman too much of your time, your time becomes a commodity. She will take advantage of it and think she can have you whenever she once, it gets boring for her, there is no wondering, you're just there. If you're a busy many (or at least seem like you are) your time is more scarce and she will be more excited and enthusiastic to see you since your time is "limited".

>>31135257
I think its a zoomer way of having a cute love story "Oh we met at an art exhibit or something" instead of online hook ups. I personally met my fiancee at gamestop she was an employee. People need to just quit being spergs and talk to others.

>>31135257
It’s an old fiction trope where characters meet in a spontaneous or cute way. They’re becoming increasingly rare as more relationships begin online.

>>31135334
>That is perfectly fine. However, a lot of girls don't like that.
Understood, its fair too, I can't blame them. We don't even have to hang out everyday.
>If you give a woman too much of your time, your time becomes a commodity.
I hate this shit too but it is what it is. Thanks man.

>>31126743
Do you guys ever DM girls you have seen in dating apps before matching? How do you go about it?

If a girl says no to my profile on most dating apps, that means I can never be recommended to her again, right? They makes me feel like I shouldn't even start trying until I can attract the kind of girl I'm interested in, but I also feel like an asshole when I feel lonely but know I'm not putting myself out there at all.

>>31135827
Unless you live in a small town there are literally so many girls that you won't hurt future you's chances by starting today

>>31135742
If they have their IG on the app I'll probably shoot em a DM.
Sometimes they respond and sometimes they don't.

>see girl on dating app
>see IG
>Follow IG and send DM
>Swipe on them

>No reply in a few days
>Unfollow and move on

>They reply
>Tell em I saw them on X app
>Tell em we should hang out
>They accept? We go out
>Don't accept or ghost? Unfollow and move on

>>31135889
What do you usually send? Just hi?

>>31135827
>I shouldn't even start trying until I can attract the kind of girl I'm interested in, but I also feel like an asshole when I feel lonely but know I'm not putting myself out there at all.
You know if you're hot enough for apps to work or not, if not quit wasting your time and go outside where women are and to the gym

>>31135885
>Unless you live in a small town there are literally so many girls that you won't hurt future you's chances by starting today
That's not true though, he'll get low ranked by the algorithm and shown later/never to attractive girls

>>31136046
>he'll get low ranked by the algorithm
You can boost your elo by left swiping a bunch. I found out there were trannies recommended to me on Hinge but once I left swiped a ton I stopped seeing them

Question for anyone who's got women before (either hookup or relationship):

Are you the type of guy who doesn't smile much if at all?

>gf has burnout, mum having cancer, high anxiety
>readily forgive her when she lashes out because I understand the circumstances
>I act up once because she would kept pushing uncomfortable topics
>has barely spoken to me in a week and I'm anticipating a breakup

My God, women are fucking unforgiving. You fuck up once and it's over. And she's supposed to be on the better side.

>pretty lady working at shop
>buy thing and chat a bit
>come back a chat a lot
do i just shoot the shot next time or is there something to be gained by waiting for a several more encounters? or did i already blow it by not asking for number or date after second chat?

>>31136476
>do i just shoot the shot next time or is there something to be gained by waiting for a several more encounters? or did i already blow it by not asking for number or date after second chat?
Just go for it next time, you're still good

>>31136508
ive been out of the game for awhile. is it normal to ask for dates or am I supposed to get her number and start over with texts?

>>31136563
is it normal to ask for dates or am I supposed to get her number and start over with texts?
It's fine to ask for a date, but you don't need to make plans yet, I'd get her number and work out the details by text. You don't need to chat a bunch by text if you aren't great at it or there's no text chemistry, just use it for scheduling the date.

Is social media a requirement to get a gf?

>>31136755
only if you want a gf that cares about social media

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>>31128745
true sligma

>>31136397
>because she would kept pushing uncomfortable topics
Like?

I guess I fucked up again somehow. Met a nice girl on a dating app, same interests, same kinda career prospects, met up for lunch, walk in the park and saw a movie. It was great, had a great time, she messaged me first after saying she was super nervous and wanted to do it again. We talk for a week for all the things we're going to do on dates together, she wants to take me to a lavender farm, etc. Next weekend rolls around, she cancels, not feeling well. Schedule again for the next week. Midway through the week she messages me and says that I'm wonderful but she's not ready for dating right now.

I live in such a remote spot of the country (northern Maine) that I only get one match a year or so across all dating apps, and blowing it again to "its not you, its me" is so utterly demoralizing. I had another failure to launch last year with a girl, 5 dates in, slept over at my house, but she said she just wanted to stay friends (with benefits) and I wanted a relationship, so that ended too.

No advice to get I guess, I just need to rant somewhere.

>see hot girl at the gym that I haven't seen for like 3 months now that I kept hesitating to talk to and ask out in the past despite regularly seeing her
>she now has a bf with the gayest pornstache i've ever seen (or at least i presume he's her bf)

Godfuckingdammit I hate the fact that I can't get over my hesitation and keep blowing opportunities like this. I'm like 90% certain that if I asked her out 3-4 months ago then I'd be banging that ass now but I kept thinking "not a good moment, not a good moment" and here I am with my day ruined.

>>31136365
If it helps I've never had a girlfriend in my life and I frequently get told by family that I don't smile too much and look angry. To which all I can respond is "if I had something to smile about then I'd smile more".

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My California city: full of niggerlovers, coalburners, single white moms of mulattoes, white girls who have varying levels of hatred for their dad/race, and low quality bags of chlamydia across the board.

Is the grass just dead everywhere now? Where is it not like this that I can move to?

My coworker is low-IQ, has rotten teeth, bad hygiene, and ears that stick out. But he's 6'6 (I'm only 6:1) so he has a not-unattractive gf and a baby. I've started putting loogies in his coffee as my form of protest at this unfair universe.

>>31137247
>only 6’1 boo hoo
>protest at unfair universe
lol that’s why you’re a womanless childless homo. You can’t stop with the self pity despite having advantages. I’m 5’10 with hot wife and child. You’re just a retard who thinks any of this shit matters and your insecurities are so bad they radiate off of you so that every girl detects them before they even meet you

>>31137439
>I’m 5’10 with hot wife and child
If that was remotely true, you wouldn't be posting on here. The rest of your post is just reddit trash.

>>31137492
nta but that's not true. I have a pretty gf too and I still post occasionally, force of habit. been posting here since I was 14

6'1 is not a bad height at all. at that height your face matters way more

>>31137499
6'1 is fucking nothing. I see plenty of guys who are my height or thereabouts. Just goes to show if you're in the upper-tier of height it doesn't matter if you're a gormless idiot with bad hygiene.

>>31137492
I never came to adv. I’ve posted on /k/ for over a decade tho and when I got married I felt like I had to pass down my knowledge to cope for never fucking another woman again and to live vicariously through men who can so I found /adv/ and started htgwg in like August of 2022. Haven’t been back on in a while here

>>31137504
it's not a positive in itself ig, but it doesn't detract either. 5'10-6'1 is average. I'm 6'3 and still feel average sometimes

>>31137504
>>31137513
Height (and all insecurities in general) only matter if you let them. Your features will attract a girl or deter her but it unironically is you personality game and energy/vibe that will make the difference of you fucking her or not. I know plenty of good looking douchebags that don’t get ass because they are just so self absorbed and shitty to be around. They can’t even change it to get girls. I’ve seen them first hand repel women who chase after them and then the girl couldn’t get away fast enough when they open their mouth because their so narcissistic but cynical and shitty attitude at the same time. That’s what this height shit is or small dick thing.

With all that being said, if you are shorter than most girls at 5’5 or under or have a micro penis then you actually do have a problem. You can’t do anything about a micro penis but can at least get jacked and have a good personality and great game if you’re short

>>31137526
The only conventionally goodlooking guys who can't get a gf must either be below-average height or have severe autism.

>>31137513
>5'10-6'1 is average
Exactly my point. There is nothing special about being 6 foot. You need to be AT LEAST 6'4 to stand a fighting chance.

>>31137541
I’m 6’6 and pale white women reject me before I speak.

im 20 turning 21 in 2 weeks i dont wanna say im a 21 yo virgin how do i find a 4/10 bitch to fuck in 2 weeks

>>31137541
not really. I'd much rather be 6' with a handsome masculine face than 6'4+ with the face of a freak. being tall is nothing special, being good-looking is so rare

>>31137532
Basically.
>>31137541
It’s not about a need to be special. Height is totally superficial and can’t be controlled unless you suffer so bad from mental illness that you get leg lengthening surgery. Your game and character are what actually gets women.
>>31137547
Who cares if you’re about to be a 21 year old virgin. You’re putting too much unnecessary pressure on yourself like the guy who thinks being 6’1 is a problem. It’s suppressing your energy and vibe which in turn is being detected by women as they have natural detectors for insecure males as they won’t be good partners due to their mental illness of suffering from literal non issues like height or something
>>31137556
This. Being handsome goes a long way

>>31137556
Well you don't get to choose. Fate is so delightfully cruel that many men get the looks but not the height. But like I said, my coworker is 6'6, has rotten teeth and fucking stinks, but he's still had more gfs than me.

>>31137567
>Your game and character are what actually gets women.
The amount of fucking basic idiots with gfs totally disproves this.

>>31137570
>basic man with gf
This proves my point dumbass. Basic man means average person who has a social life and can actually talk to people including women

>>31137618
I'm talking about basic in terms of character and personality. They can still have physical advantages.

>>31137636
Yeah I’m saying basic is average for everything personality, character, appearance. The average person is capable of getting a gf

>>31136365
No I smile frequently.

>>31136946
Same man, same. Except im about 5-10 years between matches and I cant even blame it on being in the middle of nowhere. It really drives me crazy not knowing what I did wrong.

>>31137567
it's not really about what others think, i just don't like having that "virgin" label on me. it just fucks my confidence. i think if i just start with an ugly bitch and lose my virginity it'll make me more confident and then i can start working my way up to prettier girls

>>31137866
That’s what I’m saying it fucks your confidence because you let it when in reality it has no bearing

This is probably a stupid question but when a typically attractive dude approaches a typically attractive girl at a bar, what the hell do they talk about?
I'm attractive and sometimes get approached myself but I always self-sabotage because I tell myself there's no way we'd have anything in common. Never had issues pulling artsy, granola, goth etc. types but for some reason I rule myself out with the types of girls who would've been in a sorority in college, even if I catch them smiling at me I won't bother. I guess to me they seem like a different creature entirely but do I really just approach them the same?

>>31137982
>do I just approach them the same?
Yeah pretty much. You want to treat the above average girl like she’s average or even below average. You have a problem where you say you have nothing in common with them and this may be true but I think it’s a larger problem as a whole because you know that people don’t work like that and everyone doesn’t all fall into the same category. You probably have the mentality that she’s too hot so why even try. Just treat them normal.

>>31138018
I don't think it's a problem that they're
too hot" because I think the girls I've been with have been very attractive, just a different type of attractive. But you're right, I know it's irrational to make these assumptions about people, so maybe I'm just protecting myself from rejection by only approaching those I'm sure I'd have something in common with

You faggots told me checking the day of a date to make sure it was still on was beta and now I got no call no showed. Fuck you.

>>31138194
Caring if something is "Beta" is an indication that you're thinking wrong.
The whole Alpha/Beta thing is a misunderstood theory largely discounted anyway.
You want to be confident and not be insecure. Is avoiding contacting a girl because you don't want to screw things up being confident or being insecure?

Regarding calling or messaging in between making the date and the date itself, I've seen it both ways. In general, if you're just looking to get your dick wet and you aren't that skilled at messaging, maybe leave it be. Otherwise message or call as much as you want to talk to them.
Again, don't be insecure.

But for dates, friends, acquaintances, and strangers, I usually give at least one message beforehand to make sure it is still on. Communication is always good.

>been on a "fixing myself" grind since the pandemic
>got fit in shape with decent muscles
>hairtransplant has been over a year ago so full hair at this point
>religious DOGMATICALLY watching my hygiene to not smell like shit
>learned and practiced how to socialize to not sound like a complete autist
>got nothing but rejections to show off so far
what can i fucking do at this point. like what's the top tier tactic? where do you meet girls you want to settle down with? cold approach? if not what then? i couldn't even score a date yet

>>31138237
This
Also women do tend to like messaging a lot, if you look online they often post about being confused when a guy shows interest but doesn't message them frequently. I think the "only message to set up a date" can be good for the first but is really a crutch for guys who aren't good at texting

>>31137866
The other anon is completely correct. I failed to lose my virginity for a decade and I was never hung up about it. I had enough other real impediments to overcome. Once I was mildly improved at social interaction, I started saying when it came up "I'm a a virgin, but I'm non-practicing."
This was a humorous way of saying that I didn't care about my virginity at all. I was kissing girls at house parties and I was *not* kissing like a virgin. But that's about it. It just hadn't happened yet.

There's literally no difference before or after losing your virginity as a guy. It's just a mindset that you can change beforehand.

fuckin hell bros
last night was the first time in a long time but we did it
only posted in here like once or twice half a year ago but was bitching and moaning and just took the self improvement pill advice
it really works bros you just gotta believe in yourself and keep pushing forward
i really thought it was over for me but it feels like theres so much more on the horizon now
when things feel hopeless thats ur sign that you gotta keep going. its fuckin tough man, but it pays off.

>>31138171
Yeah it’s probably a bit of both. I had the same problem. Once I recognized it I kind of stopped giving a shit and approached everyone with high energy but low enthusiasm and no expectations. Worked out great and had success with most girls I went after
>>31138194
How far in advance did you set the date? You have to use your gut with this shit. I don’t use apps so I mostly met my girls irl which means I can realistically gauge the likelihood of them meeting me. If you’re meeting a girl off of any app then yes text them in advance. That should be common sense.
>>31138265
That’s good that you improooved bro. Some improvers can’t seem to get past the hump though. The hump is your deep seated insecurity about your hair and overall appearance. You are constantly monitoring yourself, every single action so your energy almost certainly comes off as very tightly wound and your vibe is non existent and robotic as you are constantly checking yourself and improoooving.

My advice. Just take it easy. You’ve done what you’ve done. Got muscles and hair and can talk to people somewhat normal. Lose the uptight and robotic vibe you’re giving off and relax. Be comfortable and natural to be with and be around.
>>31138272
>failed to lose my virginity for a decade
Listen to this guy he lost his v card at age 10 kek
>im a virgin but non practicing
Such a good line. That’s how you do it dude. He unironically gets it.

This is a great strategy that doesn’t get talked about enough and probably has the best success rate.
>when hitting on women, highlight your insecurities and make a joke about it.
I do this all the time and never realized. Like, I have a smaller dick so I would throw in “I’m not the biggest” or flat out “my dick is small as fuck” followed up with “it’ll be the best 30 seconds you’ll ever get tho” or something

>>31138351
>Listen to this guy he lost his v card at age 10 kek
Ha
No. At 27. But I literally did not give a fuck about social interaction until I was 15. I actively chose to ignore rules of social interaction in 3rd grade because they are arbitrary, baseless, and often stupid.
And I was too much of a clueless outcast to even try until I was 17 and leaving highschool for university.

People who count prepubescent virginity are a pet peeve of mine.

I get incredibly stressed out texting a girl on Tinder.
How do i fix that?

>>31138445
keep talking to other women and learn from your mistakes, it gets easier the more you expose yourself

>>31138445
Try being thankful you have non-fat matches and aren't the last white man living in ghetto coalburning central.

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I'm past caring now. Sometimes you've just gotta accept your fate instead of trying to fight the tide.

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probably gonna get called a faggot but whatever, here goes:
I met a girl on bumble a few months ago and we hit it off really well and I was already imagining my life with her (never had a gf, so that's that). However, it turns out, that she knew my sister through her art business and she then told me that she is reluctant to date me because she doesn't want to disrespect my sister or make it weird between me and my sister (we are both from a rather conservative culture).

I had a "date" with her afterwards, we went to see Dune 2 but the whole time I was nervous because I wasn't sure what to do or how to behave.

We are still friends and text eachother, but I still have romantic feelings for her and just wish to tell her. However, now I'm also scared that this relationship won't last if she says no again. At the same time I feel like I'm manipulating her into dating me with friendship (or I'm just being friendzoned lol).

What can I do? Ask her out again?

>>31138684
also just to clarify, why I haven't given up yet:
> 28yo and have almost no experience with women, so maybe I'm reading too much into it
>sent me a clip of her singing happy birthday for me, which no one has ever done for me before
>she did initially match with me on bumble, so there was some romantic interest from her side at least in the beginning
>constantly thinking about her and we text almost everyday

this genuinely feels like the first time I like a woman

>>31137151
Seattle is full of libtards and shorn-hair feminists but there are a lot of nice girls up here. I have a thing for Jews and occasionally I find a nice Jewish girl

>>31138351
>You are constantly monitoring yourself, every single action so your energy almost certainly comes off as very tightly wound and your vibe is non existent and robotic as you are constantly checking yourself and improoooving.
This is such great advice, I wish I had realized it sooner. I had been improoved for ages until I finally realized I just had to stop being so self-conscious. As soon as I learned to relax and enjoy myself it's like my life changed overnight, people are always starting conversations with me and women approach me often. I'm sure the improovement stuff probably made me more attractive and gave me a baseline level of confidence but I honestly think you can find success simply by acting like you're an enjoyable person to be around

>>31138684
>>31138716
Dude please go for it. She pretty much already told you she thinks about dating you

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Alright so I've improved myself to the point where I can definitely notice girls checking me out, adjusting themselves around me, being nervous etc, but I've spent a good 25 years being the opposite of this, so now I don't know what to do with it.

I don't even know how to display sexual interest or intent without thinking I'd come off as a creep. Help me out, I want to start using my newfound power

>girl trying to get my attention on the dance floor
>won't give me her number after we dance/talk for a lil bit but says bye when they leave
I swear to god this is a weekly occurrence at this point. What the fuck

>>31138684
>I had a "date" with her afterwards, we went to see Dune 2 but the whole time I was nervous because I wasn't sure what to do or how to behave.
Movies are kinda shit for a first date unless you've already talked in person and gotten to know each other a bit before that. She might have thought you weren't really into her or weren't very exciting if you didn't try to flirt/cuddle/kiss at the movies, but it's hard to do that if you don't really know her and don't have much experience.
>Ask her out again?
Yes, it's more like a second date than starting over I would think, it doesn't sound like she ever really rejected you, things just kinda fizzled out. How long ago was your first date?
>I still have romantic feelings for her and just wish to tell her
>I was already imagining my life with her
>constantly thinking about her
Don't tell her these things, it will be overwhelming and scare her off. Just ask her to meet you again and try to talk more in person and be more flirty with her. She might just want to be friends, but she hasn't said that yet, so you don't need to assume it.

>>31138900
>What the fuck
They might not be single and are just there to dance and flirt and possibly fuck that night

>>31138977
Last night one wasn't single, cause her dude came up and cockblocked me later. The other was by herself and came back to say goodbye when she left with her friends but wouldn't give her contacts. Just said I was awesome and left

>>31138351
>approached everyone with high energy but low enthusiasm
What do you mean by this?

>>31138550
If you don't care about the results of the fight, it actually becomes easier to practice the motions and gain skill.

But if you'd rather preach doom, this ain't place for it.

>>31138445
benzodiazepines

>>31138890
>no response
Right, I assumed this thread would be good for this, but it's probably just an /r9k/ adjacent echochamber

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>>31138807
thanks for the encouragement, I think I will probably ask her out again soon

>>31138936
thank you as well for the advice
>Movies are kinda shit for a first date unless you've already talked in person and gotten to know each other
yeah, I realised that right after asking her to go lol but also we both wanted to see it anyway and had no one else to watch it with, so I asked her "out of the blue". But I don't know if it even counts as a date, it was more like a first-time-meeting after months of talking to each other online, so we already knew each other pretty well
>How long ago was your first date?
that was only 2-3 weeks ago, but we've been texting since about summer 2023. I know that sounds weird, but we were both very busy with life and work so it couldn't happen earlier
>Don't tell her these things
that's good advice, thanks. I genuinely thought of telling her but what you said makes sense lol

what confuses me is that last summer, when we matched on bumble and the connection to my sister came up the first time, she told me that we should just stay friends (which was disappointing but I accepted that).
But later on, as we kept talking/texting more often we also got to know eachother a lot better. And then a few days before our movie date, she told me that she really likes me and I wasn't sure if she meant it romantically now or just in a platonic way. I did tell her that I also like her a lot but nothing came out of it. that's why I want to ask her out again

>>31138890
>I don't even know how to display sexual interest or intent without thinking I'd come off as a creep. Help me out, I want to start using my newfound power
I had a big issue with this as I have a huge libido but spent years acting like a sexless little brother, hiding all signs of sexual interest. Once I realized that was a problem, I struggled to figure out a balance because I still desperately didn't want to seem like a perverted creep just because I was perverted.

So I decided what I would try would be to start by not changing anything I said or did and instead simply talk to all of the same but while actively thinking sexual thoughts. My plan was to slowly change, moving towards being more overt but I apparently didn't need to. My sexual intent was apparently clear on my face and body language and the response I got was much different.

tl;dr: Talk to them normally while thinking sexual thoughts.

>>31139157
I was fetching cereal and typing you big baby
Heh

>>31139197
>>31139203
Yeah my bad, I got a little butthurt, thanks for the insight

>>31139161
>when we matched on bumble and the connection to my sister came up the first time, she told me that we should just stay friends (which was disappointing but I accepted that).
>But later on, as we kept talking/texting more often we also got to know eachother a lot better. And then a few days before our movie date, she told me that she really likes me
It sounds like because of the relationship with your sister that she wanted to get to know you better and make sure you were a decent guy before committing to a date. I would stop worrying about it at this point.
>only 2-3 weeks ago
that's not too long to be an issue at all, just ask her out again

>>31139161
Sometimes women will say what you two "should" do because they are feeling conflicted and want you to convince them so they feel better about acting against what they know would be smarter.
As in "We should stop" when they really mean "We *should* stop but I want to fuck you without seeming like a slut or moving too fast and ruining the relationship."

And sometimes they mean exactly what they say and that you should stop.

It comes down to gently pushing for more, giving her opportunity to pull away, and keeping aware of if she's comfortable or pulling away.

In your specific situation, if she pulls back, I'd ask her how she's feeling outright rather than guess.

>>31138319
You don't know how much I needed to read this anon
Thank you

>>31139266
that's reassuring to hear, thanks a lot man
>>31139273
that makes a lot of sense in hindsight and I could see that being exactly what happened
>In your specific situation, if she pulls back, I'd ask her how she's feeling outright rather than guess.
would you say to take her out on a second date first and see what happens during that or ask her before? if that even makes a difference

>>31139477
Not him but I'd say the first option

What do we think of talking about dating while on a first date? It's a valid topic but it seems a little weird to me.

>>31138397
Yeah I pretty much agree. Most people talk about it in this way anyway.
>>31138445
Just get out of your own head.
>>31138550
Haven't seen you post since I’ve been back. You’re almost as bad as schooooler kek. Didn’t you saw you were going to kys or something last time?
>>31138684
>>31138716
You need to go for it what are you waiting for? No one sends videos like that to each other lol
>>31138807
>find success by ACTING like you’re an enjoyable person
No. By being a truly enjoyable and good energy person you will find success. I realized through my own experience how a simple attitude change from pessimistic to optimistic WILL literally change your entire life in a flash.

>>31138890
Read >>31138351
>>31139031
High energy and low enthusiasm means that you are high in charisma and display attractive extroverted qualities while also showing neutrality or disinterest in the girl in question and give her a general feeling that she is boring you.

I’ve hit on many women and kind of go about my instincts or just wing as to what I’m going to say to them. If they are the more shy pride type I will be very bold and I will give her very direct compliments. With more confident outgoing whorish girls who know they’re hot I’ll deprive them of the attention they usually get and be dismissive towards them. If they are too serious or are the opposite and have a great sense of humor then I’ll just make them laugh.

I always found it best to try to be the ying to their yang

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>>31126743
Women think you are only worthy if you are Chad and that the universe or God rewards people they like and punishes the ones they hate (robots/incels)
Source: https://youtu.be/JBA8W3ldPrA?si=RFCVUVSA9rH1Kp31

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>pickleball first date with girl
>explaining the difference between singles and doubles
>”but if you’re playing single how does the ball get back to you?”
and later
>”this is just like wii sports!”

>>31139757
>t. Literally fucking autist retard
Dude chill tf out. You could be pickleball champion of the world. The last thing you should care about on the first date are the rules of a game that fucking retired people play. Holy shit at least try to act like you aren’t a robot. Just have a good time with her. Women aren’t suppose to challenge you or compete with you. They are men’s opposites how could they ever challenge us. They are suppose to fill the lonely void we all have with sweet motherly ways and their pussies. Stop trying to turn women into men

>>31139135
>and gain skill.
Getting a gf is never a skill issue. You have to unironically be yourself. That's why men fall ass-backwards into relationships. If you can't get a gf by being yourself, then you ain't the kinda guy that women like. And yes I use that term collectively, as women are basically a hive mind. They thrive on validation and will never date a guy without social proof.

>>31139660
I find it very awkward to bring up unless the girl does first, and then do the "you don't know if this is a date either? Haha then let's say it is" dance

When I think I'm on a date and the girl thinks I'm just there to be her friend, usually either she'll start pulling away from any touchy-feely stuff I do, or best case just straight up text afterward and say "I think you got the wrong impression"

>>31139723
I think I get the gist of what you're saying. Like the way you'd talk to a little brother?

>>31139802
NTA but it sounds like he was just commenting on his date being dopey, not actually mad at her or anything.
>>31139757
That sounds endearing though

>Captcha: YANAW (you are not a woman)

>>31139828
I don’t mean that, I mean talking about past dates and dating apps and stuff.

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>>31139802
I like girls that stimulate me intellectually though.

>>31139891
Same here

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>>31139907
Last year I went on a first date and within one hour we had debated the existence of God, election politics and the authenticity of Good Charlotte. It was thrilling. We were in that restaurant until they closed, 3 hours after we arrived.

After that, how am I supposed to go back to girls who just want to talk about their dogs, true crime podcasts and reality television? God I miss that girl.

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>>31139673
>what are you waiting for? No one sends videos like that to each other lol
what can I say, I'm a special kind of socially inept haha

>>31139828
>talk to a little brother
Haven’t thought about it like that
>>31139841
No clearly that anon was annoyed because she wasn’t playing by the rules and isn’t stimulating enough for him as seen here >>31139891
>>31139891
>I like girls stimulate me intellectually
lol then prepare to be single forever or date fucking dudes. I’m guessing you are a midwit on the IQ scale as you have clearly not realized the clear disparities between man and woman. I will do you a favor and tell you an attractive and likewise intellectually stimulating woman who will also be a good faithful partner does not exist.
>>31139957
>go back to
Why is it always to go back to something. Why do you see things on this linear existence. You will only meet so many people in your life and a good partner is hard enough to find without being picky. Like it or not this quest that you are on to find your perfect chick will likely end in your genetic termination. I’m not saying she has to be a dummy but to try to find a woman who comes close to your level of intellect (assuming you aren’t a total retard) is not what it’s cracked up to be. Find a woman who will be a good mother first and someone you can have sex with for a long time. Check her mom out for the latter part and ask yourself if you could fuck her. Keep it simple stupid. Enough of this fake intellectual garbage that your putting on to prove to your peers that you’re smart lol

>>31139813
The skill comes into it when allowing a girl to see what you are like and determining if you are both compatible.

But you're not interested.
For others reading this,
There is no such thing as one type of guy women like.

>>31140021
>I will do you a favor and tell you an attractive and likewise intellectually stimulating woman who will also be a good faithful partner does not exist.
Wrong (I dated a girl who tested for 140 IQ for 3 years) but if you want a smart girl you'll have to be willing to make concessions on your other standards or else you'll need to roll the dice a lot more. Look at the female intelligence bell curve and act appropriately. Also helps if you figure out where to find intelligent girls in your area. They tend to be uglier/more niche and are usually way more introverted.

>>31126743
There's a girl from my neighborhood that I see on the bus sometimes. Sometimes we talk about how we're doing in college but I don't know how to keep the conversation and I sort of sit somewhere else to avoid standing there like a retard. What can I do?

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>>31140021
>No clearly that anon was annoyed because she wasn’t playing by the rules
We didn't play by the rules because was learning them for the first time. But she didn't know what "singles" in tennis is. She thought it meant being on the court alone and hitting the ball to the other side and wondered how the ball was supposed to get back to you. I'm not saying she's a retard or anything but this is not a sufficient level of intellectual curiosity for me.
>lol then prepare to be single forever or date fucking dudes. I’m guessing you are a midwit on the IQ scale as you have clearly not realized the clear disparities between man and woman.
I am a midwit (125 IQ) but I've dated many girls I found intellectually stimulating. I'm not sure what "disparities" you're talking about here.
>I will do you a favor and tell you an attractive and likewise intellectually stimulating woman who will also be a good faithful partner does not exist.
I will grant you I haven't found one yet but I'm not ready to give up. I get dates way too easily to not want to test this out for a while.
>You will only meet so many people in your life and a good partner is hard enough to find without being picky.
Good women are easy to find actually. I get beautiful conservative family oriented women liking me on Hinge almost daily. What's harder to find is one of those who doesn't bore me.
>I’m not saying she has to be a dummy but to try to find a woman who comes close to your level of intellect (assuming you aren’t a total retard) is not what it’s cracked up to be.
Hard disagree. It is sublime. I go fucking crazy when I come across it.
>Find a woman who will be a good mother first and someone you can have sex with for a long time.
Again what's the point if I'm bored? I've seen several marriages with mismatched intellects. There are several in my family. I don't want one.

>>31140049
You're only thinking of IQ. EQ is arguably more important and useful in a relationship. Discussing social dynamics and the human condition is way more fun than discussing machine design or whatever high IQ women like to talk about.

>>31140187
>>31140021
By the way I found a loyal partner who was intellectually stimulating and also cute. Only thing problem was she was chubby. Would have married her if I had been able to get her to a respectable weight. She's very round now so I made the right call.

>>31140231
Kek mine was the same way, I'm even a chubby chaser, but she was so smart she wanted to go her own way in life instead of being the world's smartest pair of hobbits with me and raising our 12 kids on Schopenhauer or something. Intelligent + disagreeable are traits I love, but it's also not conducive to family life I suppose.
>>31140207
EQ is a meme although I agree with the gist of your point. Still, some famous high IQ woman like Liv Boeree would probably be terrific to discuss social dynamics and the human condition with.

>>31140301
I don't mind chubbiness but todays chubbys are tomorrow's obese (as I said the chubby I was dating is now almost perfectly round). It's a bad bet to marry one.

I actually do know one couple where all of those qualifications are met. One of my best friends is married to a 9.5/10 blonde girl who had no more than 1 sexual partner (if even that many) and is super athletic. I've had many deep discussions with her.

>Still, some famous high IQ woman like Liv Boeree would probably be terrific to discuss social dynamics and the human condition with.
I got IQ-mogged by a date earlier this year and actually didn't enjoy it. She was a chemical engineering PhD who led a software group and probably raked in over $200k a year. It became obvious to both of us during the conversation she was way smarter than me. I was not intellectually stimulating HER.

>>31140049
>>intellectually stimulating attractive girl who isn’t a whore doesn’t exist
>Wrong
>if you want a smart girl you’ll have to be willing to make concessions on your other standards
????
Exactly. Also im not saying every girl is a bimbo but 99% of women no matter how smart they are won’t be interested in the stuff you are interested ie not intellectually stimulating. They may be at first but it doesn’t last long. I’m not saying marry a dumb girl but don’t put all of your cards into finding someone who intellectually stimulates you. Men and women are different with different interests. A good woman/wife/gf isn’t suppose to stimulate your brain. She’s supposed to be loyal, fuckable and a good mother
>>31140186
Talk to her more and get her number. Try sitting next to her for a start.
>>31140187
Read above. I recommend changing your vision for what an ideal partner is. Your wants in a woman is sort of unnatural and is a symptom of the modern world as we are told that our forever partner has to be perfect in everything. Just find a good hot loyal girl who will stay hot until your old
>>31140231
>found a cute loyal smart partner
>BUT she was the size of a house
You expect too much from women and I don’t mean that in a derogatory way I mean it in an unnatural expectation way

>>31140533
I don't think intellectually stimulating necessarily means she has to be interested in the same stuff, more just being interested in you being interested. My main three hobbies are songwriting, powerlifting and trading, and none of the girls I've dated have been into any of those except a single one who I got into strength training. When I think "intellectually stimulating" I think "Can we have an intelligent conversation about something I'm into, or something that she's into, even if the other one doesn't actually enjoy doing it?"
>She’s supposed to be loyal, fuckable and a good mother
I completely agree, but having gone from genuinely intelligent women to... ones that are less so (and getting my brain tickled with my close male friends instead), it feels like having a smartphone, and then being forced to live the rest of your life with a flip phone and a computer. Doable, but I'd rather have the latest version of the Cellular Jew in my pocket.

>>31140533
>????
>Exactly. Also im not saying every girl is a bimbo but 99% of women no matter how smart they are won’t be interested in the stuff you are interested ie not intellectually stimulating. They may be at first but it doesn’t last long. I’m not saying marry a dumb girl but don’t put all of your cards into finding someone who intellectually stimulates you. Men and women are different with different interests. A good woman/wife/gf isn’t suppose to stimulate your brain. She’s supposed to be loyal, fuckable and a good mother
Seems like you've never actually found an intellectually stimulating woman. Otherwise you wouldn't be saying things like this. Intellectual stimulation doesn't mean having similar interests. I've found intellectual stimulation in girls I've had 0 similar interests with.
>Read above. I recommend changing your vision for what an ideal partner is. Your wants in a woman is sort of unnatural and is a symptom of the modern world as we are told that our forever partner has to be perfect in everything.
Just find a good hot loyal girl who will stay hot until your old
You read above. And also read >>31140663. That anon gets it.
>>found a cute loyal smart partner
>>BUT she was the size of a house
>You expect too much from women and I don’t mean that in a derogatory way I mean it in an unnatural expectation way
As I said here >>31140357 I've found women who meet all of my expectations. All I want is smart, pretty, Christian, and no midwestern accent. I might even be able to budge on the accent.

>>31140663
>>31140695
In order for an intellectually stimulating conversation to take place both parties have to have some kind of interest in the topic. I’m not saying that you can’t have deep stimulating conversations with a woman but I’m classifying “intellectually stimulating conversations” as things that you are particularly interested in. Sure she can bring up a topic that you haven’t thought about prior and you can have a good conversation about it. I’m married to a woman with masters degree in education. She has since left to raise our child and is a stay at home mother. She is an intelligent woman and we have of course had our fair share of deep and interesting conversations. We’ve discussed topics like religion, politics, work etc but once you have the conversations you are kind of done with the topic in so as that you have some understanding of each others opinions and perspectives. These conversations are necessary to develop a deep attachment to one’s partner and to learn how to communicate with each other on physical, emotional and spiritual levels.

Ultimately, my point is is that you have talked about these topics with your partner and have established an understanding of each other values which in turn makes having further conversations on the topics you would discuss redundant and not as stimulating as they once were. These conversations will end or won’t have the same impact as they once had leaving you with the need of someone who is morally good, attractive and a good mother if you want children which is ultimately all that matters at the end of the day.

You’re just putting too much emphasis on the intellectual need imo as this route will lead you to chasing a new women to speak about the topics that you find or may find interesting. It seems to me like a never ending pursuit when all you need is a good hot woman. You are looking for a life partner and there is a lot more to a marriage then just talking all day.

>>31140803
The things I talk about now aren't quite the things I was talking about in years past, though. I do this with my dad too, we both lean far to the right but we'll have friendly shouting matches over the 1% we disagree on, but also interesting things we've learned or whatever else is fun to talk about. I don't need my wife to be a perfect conversational partner but having her say something interesting on just about anything is a huge plus.

>>31140803
>She is an intelligent woman and we have of course had our fair share of deep and interesting conversations.
>You’re just putting too much emphasis on the intellectual
You're like a rich man telling a homeless guy money is overrated, or a gigachad telling a chinlet that looks don't matter. Fuck you anon lmao. You know intellect and deep conversations are important and that's why you didn't marry a bimbo. And if your wife is also hot and loyal than she's the "perfect woman" you've been trying to claim is so elusive. Again fuck you. Also
>I'm married
Why are you on this general then? Just to help?

How do i stop being scared of women?

>>31140029
>There is no such thing as one type of guy women like
Yes there is. Most of the anons here know deep down that women are all the same.

Literal autist here

How do you flirt?

>>31128565
praise. keep pushing, I'm happy for you!

>>31128565
I hope they all fail terribly.

how do I get over not having any interesting hobbies? what are things that girls like to talk about?

>>31141871
Improove.

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>>31141918
>Most of the anons here know deep down that women are all the same.
Redpill myth.

>>31142055
Models by Mark Manson breaks it down pretty well in the flirting chapter. It’s essentially just good-hearted teasing.

>>31142178
Get interesting hobbies. Most girls that are in shape like health and fitness to some degree, and since it would improve your body, why not start there. Travel is another universally liked one and you can do it alone.

>>31142178
this >>31142648 is solid advice. find a sport you genuinely like doing, though. 1-on-1 sports are extra good for bonding (tennis, golf, squash). martial arts will help boost your confidence. traveling is good because you can choose where to go based on your existing interests.

another one is dancing. many people socialize in clubs, and it helps massively if you have good conrol over your body. it exudes confidence.

most importantly, pick something you enjoy doing (do some trial&error: pottery, book club, gardening, foodie) and something that has a vivid community where you live. join a local club and go there regularly, best would be weekly. anything can be "interesting" if you're part of an active local community, many people lack that in their lives and secretly wish they had it.

>>31142709 >>31142648

Yeah thanks, I'm thinking that I'm partly overthinking it and actually most people are pretty boring too / there is something interesting there when I think there isn't.

Not a big sports head, pretty garbage at tennis etc even amongst those new to it. Might try a running club...

Probably won't be welcome at the book club - big mistake to bring up politics there! Lots of women though

>>31126743
i like a girl at my local church but i'm not actually sure how to ask her out. every time i see her i chicken out and automatically think i'll probably just get rejected in public. how do i actually overcome this and ask her out (especially if there's other people around) part of me feels like i've already missed my chance and it's all over now

>>31142726
>and actually most people are pretty boring too / there is something interesting there when I think there isn't.
this is 100% true. especially people who drink/party a lot are often pretty dull otherwise. they'll often be impressed with you if you actually have hobbies and passions.

running is very good. low cost, low threshold, easy to talk before/after (invite your running partner to coffee afterwards) and no pressure to talk while doing it. very easy to connect or convince new people to try it out with you.

>Probably won't be welcome at the book club - big mistake to bring up politics there! Lots of women though
try fixing that. I learned how to frame my political views in a non-hateful/non-bitter/compassionate, calm and intelligent way. just do the opposite of a /pol/cel.

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>>31142055
>How do you flirt?
I gotta compile this advice in a more digestible form sometime. None of this is mine but I remember thinking that it's good and better than I phrase it. I haven't reread it in a while

https://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/24810934/#24812284

https://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/24810934/#24812306

https://archive.4plebs.org/adv/thread/24814729/#24815698

The core of flirting is fun, light conversation that indicates romantic or sexual desire.
This is how I apparently did it for a while with zero intent. I was just trying to chat with girls because I enjoyed it and my cheesy little boy tier desire was obvious because I have zero poker face.
At the time, I mistakenly believed that flirting had to be deliberate and goal oriented, essentially "hitting on women with the intent of continued pursuit".
But you can casually flirt with strangers with zero follow through. I actually got great at that and became courageous at flirting when there's zero chance of anything happening.
Like the time I chatted with a random girl at an airport bar about my driver's license photo. She was just next to me and minding her own business when I launched I to this whole thing, getting her interested, laughing, and interjecting her boyfriend's existence for no reason. And I just kept rolling with it because it didn't change a thing.

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>>31138807
>>31138936
>>31139266
>>31139273
>>31139588
>>31139673
here's a small update: she told me that she was on a date a few days ago with a guy that treated her like no one has ever treated her before.
apparently she has no interest in him, because he's got "no perspective for life" (he's a waiter). I jokingly asked her if that's why she rejected me and she said that wasn't the case. Before that I asked her out to hang out and she said yes.

I don't know how to proceed or even interpret her anymore.

>>31142178
You genuinely need to be able to talk about a wide range of interesting things. You don't necessarily need to have full fledged hobbies or pursuits. But you need to be able to talk to others without esoteric sperging about niche interests and to be able to indicate that you do more with your life than eat, work, sleep, and do one odd thing.

A variety of interests is good for you anyway. Explore and cultivate interests.
I always have said this important piece of advice irrespective of getting women:

ALWAYS HAVE AT LEAST ONE PURELY PHYSICAL HOBBY AND ONE PURELY MENTAL HOBBY.

Some day, either your mind or your body is going to give out and you never know which one or for how long.
My mom worked as a nurse for a guy who 100% lived for physical outdoors adventure, flipped a dune buggy, became quadriplegic, and spent the next 11 years of his life sitting in his parents living room completely uninterested in life.

Develop a varied set of interests.
This concludes my Ted Talk.

>>31143289
not him but this is good advice

>>31142769
>i'm not actually sure how to ask her out.
The core of it is to simply ask her if she wants to go do an activity that you suspect that she'll like to do. Lunch is probably a good midpoint between coffee and dinner. But it's your community. Idk
You do not really have to tell her how much you like her unless she's dense. A boy asking a girl is pretty obviously clear

>i chicken out
Fear based decisions are ALWAYS a mistake. It reinforces the fear. Regard your fear like a chained up dog barking a few inches away, unable to get any closer. It's scary and distracting but if you just act like it is not there, it can't hurt you. That's how I got through public speaking and chatting with girls

>i'll probably just get rejected in public.
How public it is seems irrelevant in a small community because it'll get revealed anyway. One thing that you probably aren't thinking about is what it's like from her perspective. Imagine girls who get proposed to in front of huge crowds. Rejecting is hard to do too. It feels cruel, especially if they seem intense.
When asking a girl out, it really helps both of you to make it feel as casual as possible. You want her to say yes but not feel pressured. A solid technique is to ask right before leaving so you can either get her number and GTFO or shrug off the rejection and GTFO. You don't want to ask and then sit and room with them for an hour.

So be relaxed. Be casual. You might be nervous and she'll probably have an idea how you're feeling but just ignore the barking fear and ask her if she wants to get lunch together sometime. You'd like to get to know her better. Suggest a lunch place you know and a day. Get her number and tell her you'll call her. Then GTFO and set the time when she's free to talk.

>especially if there's other people around
You can try to pull her aside and ask to talk to her for a second. It might not work and at that point you'd have to pull the trigger

>missed my chance
Only one way to find out
Get to it

>>31143263
>she told me that she was on a date a few days ago with a guy
Unless she was complaining, that's not really a good sign. Generally, girls going on dates and telling you about them means that they aren't interested in you. But I've also seen girls actively try to attract a guy by complaining about other men they're dating. I had one girl say to me "I have a boyfriend, but he's in jail." and apparently this was her attempting to attract me, not friendzoning me as I had thought.
Sometimes women are inscrutable.

>that treated her like no one has ever treated her before.
What does this mean?

>apparently she has no interest in him, because he's got "no perspective for life" (he's a waiter). I jokingly asked her if that's why she rejected me and she said that wasn't the case.
Wording on the end there matters but that's inconclusive, yeah.

>Before that I asked her out to hang out and she said yes.
Sounds like you have plans to hang out together. Definitely wait to see how that goes before making any conclusions.

You're definitely in a more nebulous situation than most. If it were me, I would hang out and if it goes well, risk blowing things up by saying that you're still interested in her and willing to risk any awkwardness with your sister if it means kindling the spark you feel but if she's not interested in you, you need to put your interest in her to rest. I would rather clearly communicate and risk my awkwardness ruin things than persist in being confused.
But that's me. That's my subjective position, not universal advice.

idk if talking to your sister about this first would be appropriate, if it were me, I'd enlist my sister's help.

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>>31143484
>What does this mean?
she said he "spoiled" her by being very gentleman-like and paying for dinner, so yeah definitely not good lol

>Sounds like you have plans to hang out together. Definitely wait to see how that goes before making any conclusions
>I would hang out and if it goes well, risk blowing things up by saying that you're still interested in her
I will do that, but I will definitely keep my hopes in check. And I don't think it will get awkward between me and my sister, I'm sure she'd actually be very happy for me. Maybe it's just an excuse to not date me lmao

thanks for your replies man, I don't have anyone to talk to about this so I really appreciate it

>>31143582
>she said he "spoiled" her by being very gentleman-like and paying for dinner, so yeah definitely not good lol
And even this I can interpret positively. Like "This guy did these things right but I don't want him this reason. You're different."
It's very easy to read different interpretations.

No problem. Just keep it relaxed and fun when you're with her, no matter what.

>>31142626
It's not a myth. Women are generally attracted to personalities that are high extroversion, low agreeableness, and low conscientiousness.

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>>31143622

>>31143716
>saying women are attracted to socially confident, impulsive men is bait

>>31141069
I’m not telling him to stop the pursuit of smart women I’m telling him that it is a shitty primary attribute to look for in a woman. It’s also reddit tier. A man needs a nice hot loyal woman who will be a good mother. These are the qualities you should be looking for in a life partner. That’s what I’m trying to get across.
>you have it and telling others not to pursue
I’m saying it doesn’t matter because again it’s a life partner and these deep conversations will mostly stop once you get married and have kids.
>why are you on this general?
I unironically created this general.

>>31143622
>>31143855
>women like men who are individuals who think for themselves but are still likable and get along with everyone
No shit. The problem is that the modern world has taught men that it’s ok to sit home and play vidya all day or be a lazy meet. Women are highly instinctual beings and want to want to procreate with fit, successful and impulsive men because they simply have better genes.

Men as they grow into adulthood have known this throughout all of human history and most have typically striven to become as good of a mate as they can based on the prerequisites as they could. Until now. You will either pass on your genes or not

>>31134963
don't give up anon. i am literally on the same boat i couldn't score a single fucking date ever and i'm one year older than you. same experience with getting ghosted the second i ask anyone out. but i can't let that shit stop me. i won't let those fuckers win

>>31143622
If it’s a myth, why did you feel to need to include the world “generally”? Could it be that there are numerous exceptions to your rule?

How would you ask to join a girl at a coffee shop? Let’s just say I’m 100% sure I am sure she will be receptive. Do I say “Hi, mind if I join you?” Or do I need to give my name first?

>>31144114
>Let’s just say I’m 100% sure I am sure she will be receptive
You can say whatever then as long as you're not a sperg about it

>>31144106
There are always outliers.

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wtf do I do here? am I cooked?