Riders that are real and exist as compared to runners that schizos claim are real but are actually made up editionCurrent and upcoming races:21.04 - 28.04 Presidential Cycling Tour of Türkiye 2.Pro23.04 - 28.04 Tour de Romandie 2.UWT25.04 Gran Premio della Liberazione 1.1 WE26.04 - 28.04 Vuelta Asturias Julio Alvarez Mendo 2.128.04 - 05.05 Vuelta España Femenina by Carrefour.es 2.WWT28.04 Lotto Famenne Ardenne Classic 1.101.05 Eschborn-Frankfurt 1.UWT03.05 La Classique Morbihan 1.1 WE04.05 Grand Prix du Morbihan Femmes 1.1 WE04.05 Grand Prix du Morbihan 1.Pro04.05 GP Eco-Struct/Thompson/Security Tools 1.1 WE04.05 - 26.05 Giro d'Italia 2.UWT05.05 Tro-Bro Léon 1.Pro05.05 Trofee Maarten Wynants 1.1 WE05.05 Elfstedenronde Brugge 1.108.05 Navarra Women's Elite classic 1.Pro08.05 - 12.05 Tour de Hongrie 2.Pro09.05 Circuit de Wallonie 1.110.05 - 12.05 Itzulia Women 2.WWT11.05 Tour du Finistère 1.112.05 Boucles de l'Aulne - Châteaulin 1.114.05 - 19.05 4 Jours de Dunkerque / Grand Prix des Hauts de France 2.Pro14.05 Durango - Durango Emakumeen Saria 1.1 WE15.05 - 19.05 International Tour of Hellas 2.116.05 - 19.05 Vuelta a Burgos Feminas 2.WWT17.05 Veenendaal - Veenendaal Classic 1.1 WE18.05 Veenendaal-Veenendaal 1.119.05 Antwerp Port Epic Ladies 1.1 WE19.05 Antwerp Port Epic / Sels Trophy 1.120.05 Ronde van Limburg 1.120.05 GP Mazda Schelkens 1.1 WE>Mecha-Rusbert's webm folders:https://pastebin.com/rJwQsq1P>Bert van Koers' ciclismo quizzes:https://www.sporcle.com/user/Bert_van_Koers/quizzes/>Races info:https://www.procyclingstats.com/https://firstcycling.com/>Free streams:https://tiz-cycling-live.io/https://cycling.today/live-streaming/>Velodrama league code:11453895Previous thread:>>140295018
>>140316204I am NOT photoshoping the obvious
>celebrating too early
Weird stuff is going on down in Anatolia
A lot of anti-ciclismo takes in the previous edish
Meanwhile, we are stuck with Jose B**n
>>140315756Someone asking the Bert question in 3,2,1...
>>140316269cute
>>140316296Name 3
we need live tracking of riders in races, with power, speed and HR
Can this jockey please go and turn his bike left, ideally forever?
>>140316552got a teammate for him
>>140316564H-he'll win a stage
>>140316269me on the left eating chips
>>140316599Slippy G will pull him to an intermediate sprint win in the tour
How was your afternoon ride, Berts?For me, it was some 4 minutes intervals up the rampas.Still cold, 8 degrees, but somehow 25+ already this coming monday
gonna miss having the kämnazone in the giro this year
>>140316269i thought Dagestan was a Mamluk state in Russia?what they doing in Turkey
>>140316726did some zwifting because rain and work, got a cramp because I didn't eat 17 bananas but overall good ride
>>140316726Bit chilly at 6° but it is what it is. Hard pedaling almost all the way for me
Almost finished TNG season 1. I watched every single episode and I deserve some praise for that, some of them were really really really bad. But man, CONSPIRACY is amazing. Even better than I remembered. One of the best episodes of the whole damn show. Or maybe I am overrating it now after watching so much garbage.
>>140316962Distinctly Mitteleuropa. Hjem.
>>140316726I will r*n
>>140317279
>>140317279this is a cycling general dude
>>140316801there's a significant t*rkic minority there
look what I found on youtube. benji has a strong competitor now.
cyklismus
>>140317814how high does this fatso get and how does it compare to that 250kg black guy
>>140317814seconding the question, how many watts??
>>140317971I just looked it up myself and his FTP is 272starting the think the black giant is fucking his watts with his wonky pedals to be honest
>>140318074Very disappointingI've said it before and I'll say it again, power meters are a meme and can't be trusted
>>140317169I only give praise to big watts
>>140316726Didn't feel up for FTP test, so did my usual 3 laps of CP after work (much to the dismay of Leafbert).However, I did have my best time up the local rampa inhumana (a merciless 0.53 km @ 4.2%). I have apparently ridden it 215 times.
>>140317854That black dude is the Eddy Merckx of cat D Zwift racing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZyAP_WeKrkSpeaking of Merckx, interview is up with Johan BRUYNEEL (permanently blacklisted by UCI)
Any news on Remco?Is he back on his bike yet?
>>140317861>Coca-Cola
>>140317861Is that a tiny Coca Cola bottle or just how large is this guy
>>140318881yes this week I think, he should be ready for the dauphiné last I read
>>140317861this guy has four more breasts than a man should have
>>140318693is this interview after Merckx lost most of his colon?
>>140318693BRUYNEEL loves the sound of his own voice. Christ alive
>>140317169I only care for DS9.
>>140319056don't think so, must be a couple weeks agp or older
Michael Zijlård
>>140317695I'm not a pro I just pay attention to them, simple as
My bike is SPARKLING thanks to my MUC-OFF (tm) brand bike wash!When I think clean, I think MUC-OFF.
surely we'll get a lennard kamna update any moment now
>>140319167He really is an insufferable interviewer
>>140319808No more updates
another day of wagieslaving"only" 3 more days for the weekend
bikes are cheap now. it's time to finally buy a TT bike, with a full rear wheel
>>140321128hell yeah brother
>>140320072it's over
>>140321128I have seen one such freak bombing it downhill tonight doing easily 70 into a corner where wild cagies spawn.He survived, this time
>>140321225I hit 104 km/h on my ride this evening
>>140321253
>>140321253>If I die I die.
>>140321407With 38mm gravel tires no less. On the road bike I've seen over 110 on that road but then again gps is dodgy when it comes to peak numbers. It's not easy to reach that speed because you need to be over 85 when the steep bit starts and that means sprinting hard before that.
>>140321486My maximum is 78 but most of the time I just free wheel going downhill
>>140316950I hope you learned your lessonhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdGai72Tt8Y
shan't be posting about my r*n
Chain waxing night
having a homebrewed duvel (red ale)
>>140323692moar priming sugar innit bruv
>>140322388>2.2km effort
>>140323799>13 corners
/Heures des N'wahs/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iR-K2rUP86M
tell me about the riders in caves
Watched THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VANCE (1962)
>>140323796yeah, I dunno, it's very carbonated but doesn't want to form a good head; very tasty at least
>>140326881moar carapils and flaked barley innit la
>>140326658Good film, in my top5 of Ford movie
may some kind bert pls post farmer son santé pic ?
>Colnago tripled its turnover to €55 million in the last three years, revealing a profit of €14 million for 2023, as their strategy of targeting the high-end ultra-expensive market and sponsoring Tadej Pogačar’s UAE Team Emirates squad and the women’s UAE Team ADQ, appears to be paying offPogibros, we're carrying this shitty brand
>>140329427but the couldn't save campa could they
Presidential Cycling Tour of Türkiye (2.Pro)Stage 4Marmaris - Bodrum137.9 kmStartlist:https://www.procyclingstats.com/race/tour-of-turkey/2024/startlistGC after stage 3:https://www.procyclingstats.com/race/tour-of-turkey/2024/stage-3-gcLive stats:https://www.procyclingstats.com/race/tour-of-turkey/2024/stage-4/liveRoadbook:https://www.tourofturkiye.org.tr/Content/files/2024/Yaris_Rehberi/2024_Tanitim_Rehberi_v4.pdfStreams:https://www.youtube.com/@tourofturkiye/streamshttps://tiz-cycling-live.io/https://cycling.today/live-streaming/Eurosport / Discovery+ / TRTspor13:30 CET
Tour de Romandie (2.UWT)Stage 1Château d’Oex - Fribourg165.7 kmStartlist:https://www.procyclingstats.com/race/tour-de-romandie/2024/startlistGC after prologue:https://www.procyclingstats.com/race/tour-de-romandie/2024/prologue-gcLive stats:https://www.procyclingstats.com/race/tour-de-romandie/2024/stage-1/livehttps://archive.tissottiming.com/2024/tdr/fr-ch/tdr/Stage/2Streams:https://tiz-cycling-live.io/https://cycling.today/live-streaming/Eurosport / Discovery+ / RTS15:30 CET
>>140329640These profiles are so ridiculous, it's a 6% climb
>>140329427The only Colnagos I see around here are from 10-15 years ago, no V4Rs to be seen
>>140329681they went full tour of Denmark cope mode
>>140329686I've seen a few C64/68 around nice I think
>>140329686I've actually seen quite a few fat dentists in full kit riding them around here.Mind you these are the kind of people who buy Bora kitchens just because of Roglic.
>>140329678>Arconciel
There is a new version of the rcr, now coming with hooked rims. Very very hard to beat at that price.
>>140329711I've seen a couple rim brake C64s, but most are those good old fashioned C50s and C60s. >>140329732Nice, that full kit surely increases their FTP from 190W to 200W
>>140329427I'm sorry ser, but what about my bit of keeping their visibility up in the coveted velogames.Perhaps I should ask for some payed sponsorship.
Out of top brands I only see Canyon, Trek, Spez and Factor.That's probably like 90% of bikes I see on the road
Think this guy is ever going to ride another result?
PCS doesn't even has full startlist for Tour of Gila. embarrassing. Firstcycling wins again
>>140330489What's more embarrassing is the general state of American cycling
>>140330489Yes but does firstcycling have a party van where they can send slow and wrong live updates from?
>>140330500>walmart race cancelledoh say can you see...
>>140330489neat
>>140330612pcs sisters... Not like that
>>140330612PCS also has this but it's hidden in some stupid fashion
>>140330661Previous performance is somewhat similar
>>140330691Yeah this one
RIKUNOV is washed
>>140330612>>140330691It's all cute but it misses the time dimension.According to this I bet Simon Spilak would be a great pick here if he was still half-active and on the startlist.Especially since he is younger than a GESINK.You would need is a picrel, which itself is not that great of a clue, you would have to have those positions weighted based on some race quality rank.
>>140330880Is that Frankfurt? The parcour has changed a few times so no point in doing this at all
Stelvio might be cut and alternative route will be implemented.
>>140331244
>>140331244Changes nothing
>>140329427>their strategy of targeting the high-end ultra-expensive marketSo few people who are willing to pay whatever bike companies ask are carrying the whole business? Everyone else feels price out and buy nothing I guess.
>>140331244They should just not ride at all and give the trophy to Pog. We need some rest
>>140331244I say that every year but really this might be the last year Giro takes place in Italy. This is beyond shameful. Bertollo should take a hard long look at himself.
>>140331259That's how it always is, you're either the cheap option that sells mass bull or the luxury brand with massive margins.There's no money in the middle. This applies to a lot of things outside bikes.
>>140331332He is organizing the Giro now?? That is why I am leaving the /cyc/ office, we are getting too big for our own good. We cannot sustain this
>>140331354He's in charge of making the route. Why do you think it's taking place in the norf all the time?
>>140331259It's a luxury brand, yes. Buy canyon/cube/van rysel if you want cheaper bikes. Be mad at shimano if you want to be mad at anyone
Hey apparently we are a skiing nation now. Marcel HIRSCHER is coming home. Austriabert in SHAMBLES.
>>140331487he has no chance against the skiing Brazilian formerly Norwegian
>>140331487Can't think of a more souless thing to do than take another nationality for sport.
>>140331582you've reminded me of our guy andreas goldberger
https://cyclinguptodate.com/cycling/french-rider-gauthier-navarro-looking-to-take-anti-doping-agency-to-court-after-epo-false-positive
>>140331582SEETHING
>>140329678>ArconcielA shame Grug isn't there
>>140331633I'm french bert, really don't give a shit about skii. >>140331625Poor dude got a 2 year ban at 21. Basically a death sentence for his career
>>140331582*laughs in 4 nations*
>>140331625>spanish nameEvery time
>Given the good results he is having at the beginning of the year, he says that "Symbolically, I would say victory, but in terms of results, without a doubt, 5th place in the Tour of Flanders is very important". Morgado presents an irreverent style of running, being a cyclist with his own style of racing and he reflects on this: "I identify with Wout van Aert, I like the way he races, he is the cyclist I like the most," he reveals. LOL. 5th place is good enough. Idol is WOUT VAN AERT. It's OVER
>>140331649For me it's Marc de Maar
>>140331332They should really swap Vuelta and Giro around. Spain would look better than a dead wasteland in the spring and no problems with alpine passes in the current Vuelta slot.
>>140331659>I identify as Wout van Aert, my pronouns are w*ut / kwab
>>140331659>"I identify with Wout van Aert, I like the way he races, he is the cyclist I like the most,"Based lad. And another moral victory for my man Wout.
>>140331659Wout's a popular role model deal with it bertchuds
>>140330356I don't recognize him, who is it? Hessman?
>>140331659>I identify with Wout van AertPogacar must be pretty happy about it. 5 years contract incoming
>>140331901sepp kuss
>"It's unreal," says Bjorn De Vriese about his triumph in Velogames. "I had been in the top 10 since the Ronde, but it was only in Liège that I took victory.">"I started with the Big Three: Van der Poel, Van Aert and Pogacar. In addition, a lot of sprinters will also run with points, so I had to have Philipsen, Merlier, Thijssen and Meeus. Then I still had room for guys like Pedersen and Wellens.">"This year I did apply the strategy of "Kill Your Darlings". So no Yves Lampaert and Tiesj Benoot at the start, even though I am a huge fan. In the end I did retrace my steps with the latter. But it remained more choose based on the head and not with the heart."Exploded mobile phone, very proud girlfriend>"I had gone cycling in the region around Liège and was just at the car to see the finish. Two hours later I was home in Ghent. When I looked at my mobile phone, it had blown up." Friends, colleagues and even competitors in the mini competitions congratulated Bjorn extensively. "And even my girlfriend surprisingly sympathized very much with the velogoombler. When she heard the news, she went crazy.">"After a week of rest, I am ready to go again in the Giro Velogames. We will hear each other afterwards," he concludes with a winked.
>>140331930
kinda mid+
>>140331659to riders the self made man that is wout inspires more than the third generation gifted everything in his lap counterpart
>>140331969Morgado said he hates cobbled classics. Makes sens he'd look for inspiration in a GC domestique instead of the cobbled goat
>>140331901Jeb Kush
>>140331057Yea, that's Frankfurt. I have seen the route changes but also it has remained the same for the last few editions.The racing changed more, 2019 fatman Sasha is not getting over these hills with Here/she, Van Gils or arguably even 2024 Politt.Hanging on this table is just a hint not a cheat code, it was Schachmann who has shown good signs in Itzulia and had great results in Cauberg AGR before.Shit pick for AGR, but I have picked him because of this table.I can post this table more but I had no (You)s last time and this is the /cyc/ sign of whoa-cringe-butcouldyounot
>>140332088>but also it has remained the same for the last few editions.But last year was different from the year before? They added that second long climb that does actually kill the fatmen
>“I would be very pleased if we could collaborate with Julian. He is a real champion and not just any runner. But there have been no concrete conversations yet. If there is mutual interest and he shows good things in the Tour de Romandie, then we can enter the market. We don't want to sign Alaphilippe just for the name, but for what he can offer the team. He is currently going through a more difficult period, so we will wait a little longer. We don't want him to come to Cofidis purely with a view to his retirement. Cofidis is not a retirement home,”Pick him for the giro, he needs that contract
>>140332136Since to covid break the profile look almost the same I think? Besides double the last hill in 21 and 22.I have arrived at the boomer stage of computer use, instead of having a profile saved in larger size, a jpg/png, then neatly pasted into Affinity and then scaled, aligned, formatted I just stacked 4 screenshots next to each other and made a screenshot of them.
Tour de romandie starts today, that's a race i always associate with lots of rain
I only now realized that Q36.5 is a shoe brand
After BIG workout yesterday, I rewarded meself with a burger today
>>140332189>cofidis is shitting on your formlmao, what a fall
>>140332414And clothes
>>140332383
>>140332189Allah has more points this year than everyone on Cofidis.
>>140332414I'd say they're more a clothing brand that also has shoes.
>>140332414The 36.5 stands for the ideal body temperature. What's funny is that the Celsius scale initially went from 100 (freezing point of water) to 0 (boiling point of water) before some guy thought it made more sense to switch it around. If that never happened, that team would have call itself 63.5 instead
>>140332737isn't it 36.6?
Oh would you look at that, it's snowing again
>>140332762If you're still operating at 36.6, you're missing out on a marginal gain. 36.5 is where it's at
>>140332826Isn't Bertacek's body temperature 34 or something
>>140332826My ideal body temperature is 69.420
>>140332967About 35 but that doesn't disprove their point
>>140333007sheesh this man's got ice in his veins
>>140332967Room temp since he died
>>140332476lucky they put a polster there
>>140333007How did you measure? Shoving the thermometer up your ass is supposed to be the most accurate method.
MASNADA Fausto HOLLMANN Juri GAMPER Patrick GARCÍA PIERNA Raúl HERREGODTS Rune ROSSKOPF Joey That is a pretty strong group...
>>140333236Jobbers in disguise
Remember when we were excited about Fernando TERCERO and that we could make jokes about his name. But he has been completely invisible as a pro.
>>140333250He hasn't raced for almost 3 months, I think he might have actually died.
>>140333250>>140333269maybe he got erased from reality because we forgot about him
>>140333216Just a regular mercury armpit thermometer
How many years before Pellizzari and Piganzoli win Il Giro?
cheesed to cheese you
>>140333321They can win Giro della Romagna next year already
10 km to go down in AnatoliaTete still 45 seconds ahead!
Giro startlist is out. G with bib no. 1, Pog with no. 191
>>140333373Heaven...
Dario CATALDO is still active and rides for Lidl-Trek
>>140333423Holy shit that fdj team is disgusting
>>140333423Also Yumbo gave the first number to Laporte instead of Uijtdebroeks for some reason
>>140333423HIRT is doing Giro instead of Le Tour? I thought Remco was supposed to be his most loyal hjaelper.
>>140333426I remember he had a very bad crash in Catalunya last year
>>140333463Humiliation ritual
>>140333463Could it be they don't want to put the pressure on him?
Soul
>>140333463What’s laporte even doing in the giro
Most teams are bringing a sprinter. They don't give a fuck.
>>140333423That is a pretty bad UAE team. They are probably confident Pog doesn't even need anyone to win effortlessly
>>140333423in jewish gematria 191 means "crashed"
>>140333463I think it used to be alphabetical with AERT first
>>140333522also mein kampf
>>140333508pozzovivo is 41
>>140333515I looked at the stages and there are a shit ton of sprints, whereas the tour doesn't end on the champs.this year so many superfats won't finish it
Tudor has a shit team too. Where is DE KLEIJN, VOISARD, REICHENBACH, BRENNER. Instead they come with Stork (?) and some guy literally named Fraud(evaux)
VAN POPPEL kwak again
Andersen wins
>>140333528In the other teams they count the v of van as the first letter in the surname
>>140333547Dainese is their sprinter because Italian, but he has won Giro stages in the past also
And DSM is one man short. They are really going to start with 7 only?
>>140333574PCS forgot Roosen
>>140333515ciclimiano chads win again, Giro > Tour for pointjersey
cobbled climb in this stage
ah yes, Eduard Mercks, the greatest Suiss cyclist
>>140333579Roosen got collected I believe, he's has only done indoor training since, so I don't think he will go
top 10
Arkea starts with BIERMANS as #1. What an insanely bad team
>>140333598Miss Flecha doing his recons. I wonder why Eurosport let him go?
remember how I was saying these annoying cunts weren't around yesterday?
tacky earrings
Süssemilch with a pretty good French. I guess riders back in the day had to be able to speak either in French or Italian
They are not catching that group in Romandie btw
>you vil pick DNF Martinez and you vil laik yor pick
we live not in Romandie, they are currently in the short stretch that leads through the German speaking part, thus it's not Romandie.
zijlaard lachée
doesn't stop Tudor from pulling in the pedalton
>>140333555>>140333638>>140333663fucking finally he wins
don't forget to donate blood, so pro cyclists can have their bloodbags
rosskopf means horse head
>>140333007"Ice" to meet you lol
my lad joey already making be breakaway points
elite
>>140333873oh, wait almeida isn't there and he isn't the current Portuguese championmeanwhile masnada wearing a shakedry jacket or probably the newer model without the PCF.
>>140333887>sir pidkek OBEwinning strade gets you knighted in Britain? stop awarding frauds with titles.
>>140333919i read he got the award back in 2022 but only got the medal now
>>140333919He only got the Member (MBE) because he's used to taking members
this lad is winning a Giro stage for sure after kwabio fatkobsen DNF's
>>140317861Sagan olympics preparation
The righful heir
>>140334054Why isn't he doing the geero
Word on the street about a hot agitated night in 2022 Wollongong with Allah, Laporte, Sénéchal and Marie Le Net
>>140334054supreme gentleman
>>140334093And Marie Le Net was just watching
>>140334093kek, where do you even get those rumours
>>140334093
MOOOOOOOOOOOOO
head of the race? more like tete du vache haha
>>140334125
>>140334156luv cows, me
>
>>140334156les vaches qui rient, honI have just bought PCM 2023. I WILL put in my expenses column for my payment settlement at the finances desk at the /cyc/ office and I DO expect it to be refunded 100%.
>>140334014Post the pic of him winning Baby E3 in 2019.
>>140332415
tis koers
>>140334331>>140334014>>140333663>>140333638https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC5gsenafmELook at this little shit
CHRISTEN PAS NORMALFILTHY OILJUICE
Absolute state of this sporza notification"Fabio Jakobsen leadout wins, Van Poppel retains the GC. Marchand breakaway caught in final kilometers".3 names and they don't even name the winner
fatnik ultra kwabbed
>>140334401Pretty standard sports article honestly. Even feltet which is a site only for cycling where you can expect readers to know rider names they still refuse to put foreign rider's names in the headlines.
Christen seems immature racer.
>>140334440
>>140334401such is the life of the Hjaelper
>>140334440Pog needs to be deleted otherwise we'll have another 10 years of Pog domination. Liege wasn't worth watching. Giro won't be worth watching. Tour won't be worth watching.
>>140334440Rude
>>140334447got baited by a tiny attack into smashing the berg
>>140334447Dude is 19. All watts no brain at this point. Too early to say what kind of rider he will be.
>>140334445that's nothing. check this
>>140334486Tried to force Gadau to ride when they were literally about to be caught. Doesn't make you popular acting like a brat.
>>140334509>tfw too hjaelper for your own press
>>140334509That's just a classic bait. God I hate journ*s
>>140334509that's just clickbait
>>140334401But ANDRESEN is now in GC jersey? And it was LONARDI previously
>>140334468People keep forgetting that Pog always has a bad day in a grand tour. It can lose him minutes
>>140334531>noooo you cant just make a headline that creates revenue why are anti-journos like this
I have seen enough. It is ARANBURU time
>>140334639name 5
>>140334639He'll have ~5min on the second in GC after stage 14 anyway
>>140334639yeah because jumbo keep up the pressure
nice road and barrage
LACHÉ Bart LEMMEN
Bart LEMMEN LACHEE
who the fuck is g-sync pacing for
>>140334639There’s no other team that could properly push him out
is that bart lemmon?
>Bert Lemon
>>140334677that's right
Imagine picking Bart Lemmen
>>140334639he cracks because Visma has been beating him on the head for 2 weeks straight with a hammer and while this is happening he himself does some retard things that is equal to shooting yourself in the footno such things will be present at the Giro
this is it! surely we'll see some GC battle in this chaotic up and down stage full of risky turns!
a canyon or van rysel bike will win
god damn these anglo commentators annoy me
looks like northern california
Consonni pickers how we feeling
>>140334755Grande Damiano will BREAK Pogacar
>>140334493Yeah, raising all sorts of ruckus for just the shits and joy of being there.Great pick if he has maybe one guy to work on.Not in Romandie. I hope. Because then I will be posting red frogs for adjusting him out.
>>140334780Cunego?
>>140334776Better pan out me bert, it was 8 POINTS. And
front group really is strong, this is coming down slowly
>>140334780i wanna believebut im tired of getting disappointed
>>140334776No Consonni to be seen but there is NYS
>>140334817it was over the second you posted this kek
>>140334836damn it
>>140334838ha yeah, slow and then all at once
>>140334836he's at the back of the group
ATTAQUE THERMONUCLÉAIRE DE JULIAN ALAPHILIPPE
ALLEZ ALLAH
Olalala Alaphlippe is in orde michel
ALLEZ JULIAN
attaque alain philippe
RIDE FOR THAT COFIDIS CONTRACT ALLAH CAM ON
filthy dirty AG2R closing down future rival Cofidis allah flip
Well at least it was something
he forgot the break was there
mein herr gott this is very sulphurous
so was there any chutes today?
I had never heard Ala called "Lulu" before..
>>140334900loulou
by allahlet him go
nice try Julianbut Movistar and AG2R wants to slurp ze semen
Oh yeah, ******. Probably at the back again and 17th or something
of course alaphilippe is going to start entering form now that the paris olympics (for which lefevere does not pay him) are coming up. spiteful rider. he's not even trying to win for the team he's just doing interval training
/Aranburu/
gonna be an interesting sprint
fatnik?
holy fuck movistar riding lame as shit
Aranburu is never going to win this, there is always someone faster
VENDRAME has this in the bag
govekar will win
im smelling a chute coming up
Gamper pas normal
based gamper disrupting the sprint trains formingagent of chaos
>>140334982just like w*ut
DOPING
Ag2r dopage.
You must be joking.
AG2R world domination lol
Godon wins
based fucking GODon kwabbing these fools
ALLEZ AG2R
someone call WADA right nowthis is getting out of hand
FRENCH DOPAGE
>>140335050AG2R dopage
french domination continues
PAS NORMALDOPAGE
A G 1-2 R haha
AG 1 et 2 R
Aranburu had to start sprinting from 29th position. GREAT tactics again from Team Movistar
wtf?
>>140335058mostly the other teams not paying attention this oneI mean the guy was leading out while everyone was looking back for no reason
thats it im buying a van rysel
>>140335063PPATTT we talked about this 4 seconds ago
Weird sprint. I'd even say it wasn't a sprint at all, they just kinda rode to the finish and blocked everyone
>>140335062you stole my joke i miss captcha’d
>>140335077camera view made it hard to see what was going on
>>140335067dont act suprised or innocenteveryone knows whats going on here
We all feel a little stupid
>>140335071Too late, we're all sold out
>>140335079You snooze you lose
>1, 2 not bad
>kwabster asgreen sprintinglel
Govekar 6th.
godON and godU in the same racegodon pickers rejoice
>>140335105where the fuck was Consonni and Dainese
no one launched so they just went while at the front fucking weird. they only sprinted 100m
Zero points bros, just as we planned.
>Gruel 9thnice
c'mon Consonni
ah yes, the famous leadout that starts with 50m to go
lidl had 4 guys and then their sprinter just started leading out another team...
Might be another 0 pointer
feels like aranburu is always top10. tt, mountains, hills, bunch sprints, doesnt matter to the guy
This race sucks
>>140335065This always happens with him, he just can't position well in hectic finals like these
>>140335105Zero picks hete, I hate that fraud Hayter. Should've trusted my gut and picked Menten instead
GC
Sheffield 16th, that is just GREAT
>>140335143people should finally learn and stop picking Hayter and Plapp. they're frauds. FRAUDS I say
>>140335149calm down lad, it's just a game
affordable bikes podium today
>>140335099unlike the green pastures of french retirement he has to grind out anacceptable contract at shit-X
>>140335105>Several of my riders perfectly placed with 500 meters to go>Not a single one inside the top 10baka
>>140335163a game he lost
consonni somehow came in 33rd kekkwab of the day I'd say
>>140316210>Anon meets pas normal female full kit wanker on Mortirolohttps://youtu.be/RaWqnY0vbLw?si=cfKdF9wNhxNwfZAx&t=264
>>140335156I did already learn the plapp lesson but Hayter still seems like he could do it, one day
>>140335188He did a leadout for Nys who is the real kwab
>>140335192We talked about this YEARS ago
>>1403351170 points chad here. Had Godon in all my teams until final adjustment. Had Cameron Scott too for some reason and I removed him.
>>140335188and Dainese still nowhere to be seen
Godonpickers how are we feeling?
>>140335229like GODS
>>140335229
I need to visit Gruyere again. it's not just the name of a cheese, but it's a town as well.
>>140335146Heh?Waar Zijlaard?!
mcnuggets not in the main bunch by the way
godon with the same herpes problem as pogi. didn't stop them from winning.
>>140335269FUCK
>>140335229Godon and Aranburu were the boys to pick for this one it seems
>>140335261he dropped like halfway in the stage
>>140335220Swear to god my team would be much better if it was round 3 I have ever played.
>>140335278I'm for one proud of myself for picking Gruel for 4 velobucks. a bargain
Plenty of boys I considered getting good results, but at least GODon does not disappoint.
>hayter at +10 minutespffffffthhahahahahahaa
GODon
>>140335319la creatura
>>140335319retard strength personified it's like that autistic kid in the louis theroux documentary
A matter of time.
>>140335269Almost last at +17:11. Wtf is this
Have this for now, some mess up because I have added the director name to scrape.1 308 The Dumbest Name I Could Think Of2 304 LAB Rats3 300 Asbesto Banesto4 268 Quick Rundown5 242 Red hot synthetic blood6 232 Team Loving-MOLD7 230 Team Brinta | Steal a Bike8 198 In the Footsteps of the Romandies9 189 Patje`s Angels10 183 Madouas Olympic Champion11 170 Kasia`s Jersey12 168 Bidon Final13 129 Letrozole Lacheurs14 127 Team UAEpo15 113 norf cc16 102 La bande de copains17 100 Center for Round Wheels & Food Weighing18 99 Team Thighs & Tummies19 90 Joueur-animateur-shitposter(en direct)20 84 Bom Toonen Nose Clam Club21 81 MVDF22 79 Koersen23 79 The Flying Fishes24 79 Slome Duikelaar25 79 >needing 100 velocoins26 70 Durango Danglers27 68 Dyrene28 68 bunkerët29 64 WagiesBacktoCagies30 64 Quinde31 64 KS Wisla Ustronianka32 64 Palestine - Piss in a Cup33 62 Retard Effect34 52 BORING hansbull35 39 Pinot Forever36 38 Team Birdbros37 34 So glad i stopped watching this38 29 /pinot/39 20 2 Legit 2 Quit40 19 ReversePedalers41 12 UAE Dopage42 12 Bert Visscher`s Groninger Wielren Team43 10 Free Heßmann44 10 Il Grande Squadra45 10 Diesel e Vinho Verde46 6 Shotgun Riders47 6 Lennergy Pharma48 6 CK Bert49 6 Clean Cycling CC50 4 Pieróg Cazzo di Bici Team51 2 Rolling For Robyn52 2 Richie Porte Memorial Team53 0 joe`s team
>>140335242>>140335249>>140335258non-attention-payers must be KICKING themselves
Hey, I've got the last and the 4th last. Let's just flip the table.
>>140335338DNS incoming, ate some bad fish againor some of his own nasty snot that's been rotting in his moustache
>>140335342how long until UAE dopage will switch to AG2R dopage?
>DNF LUTSENKO Alexeyoh my god I swear never again
>lutsenko DNFmaybe he was too embarrassed by his shit TT
>>140335394>>140335398Silent ban
>>140335394>>140335398
>>140335421Really it's my own fault what the fuck is this
>>140335421UCI point scored, time to rest and farm in some weird asian race worth 200 UCI points now
>>140335443Lel he fucking hates the place.
>>140335443what the actual fuck
>>140334093>all the tweets about it now deleted>posts about it on various forums all deleted
>113 DAINESE Alberto +10'43"
>>140335443Jej
>>140335558expected, this stage looked fairly hard
>>140334401>>140334445/cyc/ should start publishing news without clickbait
>>140335342>8 points ahead of Bertacek
Why isn't Darren RAFFERTY sprinting for a cheeky top 12?
>>140335537Marion Rousse is omnipotent, even Patje bows to her
brandon mcnougat really doesn't do SHIT if he's not the chosen GC man
>>140335443lmao
I have at least 3 van rysel jersey, bib, jacket, helmet and glasses. I think it's fair to say I'm part of that success.
>>140335814I have 2 jackets, 1 mtb jacket, 3 normal bibs, 1 winter bib and some other accessories.
i have 0 (zero) van rysel in my inventory.
I also have 0 van rysel items among my possessions
My name Bert Van Rijsel
>>140335959pleased to meet you
>Herbert Dijkstra is forced to stop as a cycling commentator at the NOS. The 57-year-old former skater, who worked as a reporter in the Tour de France a total of 26 times, is suffering from serious back problems.Another backpain victim
Not this "sport" watcher made me link clicker not click his name, congratulations, you won't be included until I am in the mood to make the clicker fool proof.
>>140336001And did include some old leftovers at the bottom after I had to reselect and resave 3 times. Happens.
>>140336001kek
>>140336051The asshole, I knew it was his point all along.
>>140336000>have to stop commentating due to a bad backWTF?
Memco is a gooner?
>>140336001what's happening with GC points?
>>140336118it's the Anderlecht of the Premier League. a former dominating team whose best times are over.
>>140336000>>140336095He broke his sacrum after a fall through a trapdoor in 2021, the bone is not at its correct position anymore if I understand it correctly, so his back is al fucked up now, can't sit in a commentary booth for hours on end anymore.
>>140336118is it recent? his collarbone and shoulder blade must be fine by now if he swings his arms around like this
>>140336130Seen at the last inspection, lost between that and final print out. Dzięki.
>>1403361752022
LOOKING at "used" boomer-bikes god damn it must resist the URGE TO SPLURGE
>>140336175Who the hell falls through a trapdoor lmao this dude out here playing baldurs gate in real life
>>140336000>skaterrip body
>>140336192Godon pickers feasting
>>140336182He just posted it.>Something not many people know is how I’ve always been a huge fan of Arsenal since being a kid.>To let off some steam after my injury and before we leave on training camp to prepare for my next goals, I went to watch Arsenal for the first time and what a game it was. >Time to get back to work now and come back as strong as possible for the second part of the season.
>>140336182He’s back baby
>>140336243His merch is extremely bad, who even wants to wear something like this?
>>140336255I'm not sure if there's good merch from individual cyclists. well, maybe this one is accidental exception
>>140336147That's United
Tashkentsisters today is are year!!!
>>140336493I bet hundred years old hag Zabelinskaya will be on the startlist
>>140336493also, how the fuck they scored higher than all these teams?
>>140336493I shit our girl Olga will be at le Tour
>>140336540I suppose a lot of the top scoring teams here are technically dev teams, or at least financially connected to one of the WWT teams
>>140336540They get all the points from the Uzbek national races, like the top 10 was only from one team
ok, this sounds rather fraudulent >Tashkent acquired the majority of their UCI points at the Uzbekistan National Championships, racing both the elite and under-23 races where they had riders fill up the top-10 positions in almost every race. This means that they were able to gain 709 points at those National Championships (almost half of their total for the year). It’s worth noting that these National Championships also caused plenty of controversy due to claims of the entire race allegedly being fabricated by the national federation in order to help the country gain points (as reported here by the Global Peloton). These points weren't deducted by the UCI, however.>Tashkent's other points were acquired in UCI races such as the Poreč Trophy in Croatia, the Princess Anna Vasa Tour in Poland and the Aphrodite Cycling Race in Cyprus, as well as a number of races in Asia. Many victories came from 43-year-old Olga Zabelinskaya, a rider with three Olympic medals to her name after she took silver in the individual time trial in 2016 and two bronzes in 2012, all when she was previously representing Russia. The UCI did deduct points from various 1.2 races after these were found to not meet a minimum of 40 participants to which is required for the UCI points to be valid. Even with these deductions, however, Tashkent still had enough points to finish 17th on the UCI rankings, allowing them the spot as second best Continental team behind Cofidis.
>>140336625Kek
>>140336625beast mode
>>140336625Roland is also having fun this season, ranked 11th
>>140336625out of whole team, maybe 5 sound like ethnic uzbeks. I wonder if any of these will be at their final line-up
>>140336625Sounds like other conti teams should have signed up some of these uzbek talents.
>>140336663What is an ethnic Uzbek name? Muhamedova?
>>140336682these probably are:>ELMURODOVA Mohinabonu>KAKHOROVA Madina>KOZIEVA Nafosat>RIZAEVA Asal>YULDASHEVA Sevinchtheir given name more of giveaway
>>140336625
>>140336625I remember the fake races thing happening.I guess everyone involved were too irrelevant for UCI to bother look into it. Ridiculous if it's true and they can just fake shit like that.
>>140336243>God shall hear, and afflict them, even he that abideth of old. Selah. Because they have no changes, therefore they fear not God.
heh
>>140336243what's this 55:19 thing
>>140336831
>>140335366>making two teams
>>140336838A bit too much for my taste
pills?
>>140336493Parkhotel Valkenburg sisters, we shouldn't have assassinated Marta Cavalli...
>>140335342>>140335594some mistakes were made
>>140336760I thought it is some Bible verse too.
>>140336760Remco 55:19 says I just chuted on my ass
>>140336874Pill reveal? I'm guessing Tramadol.
>>140336625This is criminel slander misterMy boy Ulugbek SAIDOV is cleanBiggest TT performance eclipsing even the sulphurours Combloux TT
>>140336001At least I'm still ahead of Autismbert
Tomorrow we feast Berthet bros.
>>140337134made for Lenny
>>140337134how many casualties in that descent?
>>140337236Count 'em
>>140337128Here >>140336192 is an unfucked versh although the points are in anyways and they are only slitgtjly different.Still, you're in front of Autismbert.
>>140336118>taking the plane to watch some footieOh nonono, remco sisters
>>140337376Based icegrugGone too soonReally should take up cycling
>>140337376this dude needs to chill out, it's not like he flew to Las Vegas.
>>140336540Guessing like other bert said that they get a lot from home races plus the two top CTW teams last year turned WT this year
I can still turn pro as a 30y/o office worker with subpar power output if I just believe in it enough, right?
that's the first world tour victory for GODon. you might rightfully argue that he won fleche brabançonne and our favorite race of all time Paris-Cam on Bert against a better riders.
>>140337635pro in what?
>>140337635you probably cant even turn pro if you transition into a woman it's over for you
>>140337635Sure, but you'll have to make some sacrifices
>>140337693>>140337695
>>140337695Is this the one who kept getting kwabbed by are girls in cx?
>>140337695>>140337708>>140337726
>>140337635Don't let your dreams be dreams.Yesterday, you said tomorrow.
>>140337695Also didn't the UCI ban transsexuals from competing with women? USA and GB excluded
>>140337732Yes: winner of the Tour of the Gile (WE), Austin KILLIPS. There's a picture somewhere of her on the podium with Norbert-Riberolle and it's... rough
>>140337732>>140337758It's worse than I remembered
>>140337695
>>140336118was a big remking fan but him supporting eternal bottlers like arsenal is disappointing, no wonder he always chokesoh well could be worse and be a spurs fan
>Giro starts next week
>>140338170time is going too fast
>>140336118He's in good company
>>140338270He's a very forward young man.
>>140338317why was this the first thing that came to my mind too
>>140338270>Gooner
>>140338270why do they call themselves that
>>140338478>he's not a gooner in his gooncavedon't look that up by the way
>>140338502Too late
>>140338526Our resident german coombert probably carries the same thing only with 6 terabytes of ciclistas and puck
Friday
>mfw womens cycling is on
>>140338639cool profiles
>Your estimated FTP has increased>Your threshold HR has increasedwe're back
>>140338170Chiaro che, I vil be doing me pitza surgelata, I still have like 6 left in me freezer.And probably order a proper one at least once.All this to enjoy the race but first and foremost watch how my meticulously analysed velopicks all fail in unison besides a Pog while what I would throw in together drunk at 12am would give me a sure top 10 in /cyc/ bragging rights.
Bora's new name and kit for the 2024 Tour de France has just leaked. What do we think?
>>140339561I wish it were a litte wacky, like Lidl's
>>140339561Tame is lame. They should have gone for a kit with this colourway
>>140339561lame and ugly, I can hardly differentiate the teams as is
>>140339561Un..nothing? Bland. I get the brand id and being consistent about it but it looks like a one off so AMX and PEREZ can pose to a photosesh on bikes.
>>140339561dont like itshould be in red bull colors
just saw a big squeaker, a gautheRAT, on my way back home.one of the neighbors has a cat that he lets out during the day, where she spends the whole day just chilling on the same stone, so of course squeakers feel safe.
>>140339561In times like these I miss them
>>140339981there should be a hard limit on how many blue jerseys there are
>ciclismo will never be this COOL again
>>140339561meh
>>140339561Bora was one of the few teams with a unique color on their kit. One day I will hire a hitman to take out all the designers for professionel cycling teams.
>>140340237Don't kill them all
>>140340343Once I have taken control of the design department of every team I will outsource the job of designing new ktis to the /cyc/ office.
The jersey is probably fake anyway
God Bless Wanty and Trek, never in doubt when them boys are on screen
>>140340017Hear this out, no team should have the same color kit.
>>140339561you just know people will buy this just because of the red bull logo
ciclismo is a coming
>>140341210Richie will somehow disappoint again, anyway Lenny is my favorite, dude has a surprisingly strong punch
>>140341210Juanito, Richito, Eganito, Lennito, Aleksito, Carlito, Adamito e Enricito
>>140341210>Gruel gets a star
>>140341210>Brandon McNylty
>>140341210>Anton PalzerHe gets so caught up in his ratings that he just keeps adding fake riders when the real startlist runs out of names.
>>140341361Deserved for today's performance
1 more week
>>140341661They look nice
Bye
it's time to act
don't let Americans make a new thread or me for that matter
ohshi
>>140342324>>140342324>>140342324
