>Jerry, she filled all of her spell slots with magic missile, Melf's acid arrow, and fireball!
>>92561578She's playing as a murder hobo... who does that?
>>92561578What do you expect? As a DM, you make EVERY encounter an unavoidable combat encounter. No scouting or avoidance allowed, no negotiation, no discussion, no making allies, no morale tests, not a single monster flees or surrenders, everything we encounter ALWAYS attacks and everything ALWAYS fights to the death. Why are you surprised when characters end up adapting to your constant death railroads?
>>92561578I've never played D&D tabletop shit, but I did play Icewind Dale on PC when I was a kid and I did exactly this, except it was a fire arrow instead.
>>92561933b-b-but Anon, I spent hours/dollars on these battlemaps and we're gonna use them or I'll be goddamned
>>92561578Evocation Wizards be like.
>>92562038Gotta spam those slows and danger close skull traps.
>>92561578>George, what's the problem? Fireball's a good spell. You can do a lot of things with a fireball.
>>92561689>>92563835Only good Seinfeld posts
>>92561578>Jerry: Magic Missile, Acid Arrow, and Fireball? Are those her domain spells or something? What is she, Domain of Wizardry?>George: No, Jerry, you don't get it. She IS a wizard.>Jerry: But you told me she goes to church every Sunday. And she's always wearing those white robes. No one but a cleric just goes around in white robes.>George: I know! Turns out she just likes dressing in white!>Jerry: You know, when did people decide that clerics wear white? Did all the spellcasters hold a conference and decide who gets to wear what color robes? Okay, wizards get blue, druids get green, warlocks get to wear black...>George: And clerics wear white! I'm telling you, Jerry, I needed a healer. My party is gonna be totally unbalanced. Totally unbalanced!>Jerry: What color are sorcerers supposed to wear?>George: I don't know, red? Maybe purple?
>>92564295>>Jerry: You know, when did people decide that clerics wear white? Did all the spellcasters hold a conference and decide who gets to wear what color robes? Okay, wizards get blue, druids get green, warlocks get to wear black...>>George: And clerics wear white! I'm telling you, Jerry, I needed a healer. My party is gonna be totally unbalanced. Totally unbalanced!>>Jerry: What color are sorcerers supposed to wear?>>George: I don't know, red? Maybe purple?It's gold, anon.
>Alright, let's get questing! >Here's my character, he's a farmhand. Human male fighter.
>50 years ago we would had you upside down with a holy great sword up your ass>”it’s a teifling it’s a tiefling look look it can talk EVERYONE STOP LOOK”
>>92563680I have no idea what any of that means. If a spell didn't blast damage at something, I didn't bother slotting it.
Seinfeld is about four sociopaths without the laugh track
She dipped Jerry. She dipped classes. And then: she dipped again.
>>92564482That's the case with most sitcoms.
>>92561578who are you quoting?
>>92561933I'm not the DM, what are you talking about?
>>92561933evocation is the worst school to pick from if you're expecting a fight
>>92564482they set the standardthen curb, it's always sunny, etc etc
>it’s this obsession with Long Resting, Jerry, always the Long Rest!>take a quick breather after a couple of Fireballs? Nooooo, of course not! She needs a Long Rest, Jerry, a Loooooong Rest, the Short Rest won’t do! It simply won’t do!>I’m at my wit’s end, Jerry. You gotta help me. I lay awake all night and day during these Long Rests… I can feel my adventuring days ticking away, Jerry, ticking away, useless!
>>92561578https://youtu.be/IQU49JbStVA?si=i1SUhilw_PLybFiP
>I don’t know, I— I just don’t think I’m cut out to date a spellcaster, Jerry. I just don’t think I’m built for it. I’m more of a martial guy, y’know?>Hack and slash, hack and slash! That’s familiar to me! I can do that! Why complicate my campaign??
waddup social media of course i'm taking criminal and playing a drow warlock with a gun who loves Ozzy Osbourne twu
>>92561578Isn't that what sorceress blaster casters do?
>>92567210He would try to play a Wizard, but go with the necromancer subclass
>>92563835>I think you're over-estimating the use case of Fireball. If I wanted to heat my leftovers I don't go and get some dynamite regardless of how amusing that would be.
>your campaign is nothing but combat encounters! >all on flat maps with no cover!>against mobs with wizard bosses!>every battle it's "you walk into a large featureless room with 10 kobolds one of whom is holding a staff with a glowing crystal on it" or "your journey across the plain is suddenly halted the appearance of a dozen orcs one which has a bone wand"!>what's she supposed to do?!>it's dungeons and dragons but there's no dungeons or dragons!>it's not even basements and bugbears!>our first session with neuman we didn't fight once and it was great! Chatted up a princess, delved into the local ruins, my rogue actually got to disarm a trap for once->"Wait...you guys are playing a campaign with neuman?! You hate neuman!">..... he's good at voices!
Some one needs to rewrite The Contest, but have it about murderhoboing.
>Melf.>Melf.>...>Meeelf.>Don't you think that sounds weird.>Meeeeehchlf.>Meeeeeeeeeehhhhhhh....
>Also I met this Melf once.>Well.>Gotta say.>His wand wasn't THAT magical>...>If you now what I mean
>>92564407top lel
>>92567362it means male elf you dumb cunt
>>92567307And I think you’re UNDERestimating the use case of fireball! It’s an extremely applicable spell! My apartment’s a little cold? Fireball. Heckler at a show? Fireball? Long line at the movies? Fireball, fireball, fireball!
>>92572610>You can't just fireball everyone and everything that annoys you. What kind of world would that be?! You know how many times the diner would have burned down if that was the case?
>>92564407kek
>>92561933I read this in nigger guys voice
>>92564482I mean even with the laughs it's still about four sociopaths...haven't you seen the finale?
>>92567355Elaine wants to join and they argue that women have an easier time playing games without murdering then men do.
>>92562038It's understandable in vidya when you're managing an entire party. I hate have to constantly micro spellcasters
>>92561578>Vancian magic in current year
>>92561578>Didn't take the magic initiate feat to get eldrich blast as a wizardNGMI
>>92588710>he reads greentexts with AI Jerry>What?>Yeah! Just puts the whole story in and asks for a summary.>why would anyone do that? I mean you get a nice cup of tea, you enter a storytime thread and you read some greentexts and enjoy yourself. Whats the point if you make AI read it, it's not a competition.>THE HELL IT AIN'T! I'm getting chatGPT 4 plus right now!
>>92565760I'm not imagining talking to you, I'm imagining talking to the fat bald whinging fuck from a 90s sitcom. Look at the pic, Anon is pretending the fat bald fuck is saying this to his friend, in the hope other anons will reply in kind. Seems you have trouble dealing with roleplaying. Are you in the right thread?
it's kind of incredible how much these things write themselves, that's how strong of a 'voice' seinfeld has and how much it has become a subconscious part of our culture
>>92594430The 9/11 spoof script was so incredibly on point. The multiple plots, the sociopathic reactions of elaine george and jerry. Kramers obvious mild connections to the hijackers. A tour de force.
>>92564482This is anti-semitic
