Nothing wrong edition.>Banzuke:http://sumodb.sumogames.de/Banzuke.aspxhttps://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoBanzuke/index/>Fight Schedule & Results:https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoMain/torikumi/1/1/>Some sumo links and how to watch live:https://rentry.org/uwbgc88dPrevious thread >>256101
>>256691>Nothing wrong>Career was ended by Tobizaru
what a stupid name
>>256696
>>256697You finna know
>>256698Pandas are incels.
Have an Enho on an appropriately sized electric bicycle.
>>256703Why is he barefoot?
>>256704Because rikishi don't fight in cleats.
>>256705Is he fighting the electric bike?
>>256693what was he thinking
>>256707>Shishi>thinking
>>256706He's clearly got a mawashi on under that yukata, so probably.
>Tamawashi>bad on the mawashi
Dan is the strongest rikishi in history.
>Nishikifuji: "I've explained everything to the association. Everything will come out soon." He was questioned as a witness to Isegawa Oyakata's violent behavior.
>oi cutie, im the beast of reiwa you know?>slaps her ass>isegahama slaps his ass backnothing wrong desu
Will Haku admit to being in the wrong or will he chimp out like his former master?
When will the JSA finally acknowledge that because of their genetic background, mongs are physiologically incapable of resisting the urge to chimp out? The brain is an organ of the human body. The mongs' violent chimpouts are every bit as natural to them as a bird's instinct to fly or fish's desire to swim is.
https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202602280000735.htmlHorseryu: Dan plz train with me some more!!! I want to learn from your superior wisdom and knowledge!!! I beg you plz help me!!!Dan: No.
The fact that hakkaku is waiting a month before releasing the punishments means it will be a slap on the wrist. In a just world Teru would be forced to commit seppuku and his body be dumped in the sea
>>256736Every other wrestler should take notes from Aonishiki if not doing 20+ bouts during keiko gave him two cups and ozeki
Anyone got that webm of a western photoghrapher chick miring Chiyonofuji while he's warming up?
>>256740I feel like Japs are often more worried about not looking lazy than about actual results. At this point most combat sports have figured out that sparring above a certain point is detrimental, but in sumo the answer to all problems is just to train more, like in fucking shonenslop.
Isegahama is simply too large of a stable. It's impossible for one oyakata to police the behaviour of that many 20-somethings high on testosterone and machismo. Ajigawa is making every other oyakata look bad with his zero scandals. Isegahama, Kise, Nishonoseki, the big stables always have problems.
>>256744>It's impossible for one oyakataTeru has 3 coaches plus Asahifuji working under him.
>>256736Horseshit was trying to give Dan a training injury in those matches because he can't beat Dan in legitimate competition so he had to resort to dirty tactics like that. And because he is a mong with zero hinkaku he has no misgivings about doing so
Rikishi numbers are down because kabu holders are lazy as shit salarymen who don't want to open stables.
>>256736Why is a "lack of stamina" even an issue in Sumo? How much fucking stamina do you need for a 10 second bout? Him and Ajigawa are clearly doing something right, the rest need to take notes.
>>256736Avoiding that toe-breaking injury during practice
>>256754it's not. they were shitting on him last time for getting winded and people were saying "oh horse is doing so good against dan" but literally he went up against Zak several times in a row before he went up against Hosh several times rowas far as the elders it's definitely just expectations that mean nothingWhat is Hosh even gonna learn against a tired Dan anyways when their competition bouts will be at peak?
>HorseSHITryu did good in training!!!11>HorseSHITryu won another exhibition tournament!!!!1if that shit is even somewhat real then how come he can't yusho legit? dude is a fraud yokozuna and all his fake and gay propaganda only proves that he never deserved the rank
>>256754It's not really the stamina so much as efficiency. Dan needs to figure out more winning techniques so it's not always an all-out wrestling match. He has more tape on his body little by little and he will eventually get broken down if he doesn't become more efficient.
>>256756>What is Hosh even gonna learn against a tired Dan anyways when their competition bouts will be at peak?This is more or less exactly what happened last time, isn't it? Turns out that whatever he learned during those training bouts wasn't what he was looking for
>>256758>The guy who won the last 2 yusho and has pulled off more winning techniques than anyone needs to increase her repertoireKill yourself for posting thing.
>>256760>herDan will never be your woman, Freudo.
>>256760It's the reason Onofatso smacks the shit out of him every time.
Kyokutenho? More like my Cock in Ten Hoes.
>>256743>IT'S NOT A FUCKING SPORT!!!They're there to do sumo every day. If he's too fixated on his own personal success to sacrifice his body for the kami's viewing pleasure then he will never deserve the rope.
lmao rockets actually lost to the stupid ass miami heat who have nobody on their team
ooops wrong tab sry guys
>>256773>lmao rockets actually lost to the stupid ass miami heat who have nobody on their teamMake the next drink water.
>>256773flopball would be a lot better if each team didn't have to play 80 games a season
I wish MMA fighters fought as often as rikishi. Fuck this 2-3 matches a year shit.
>>256788Strangely enough that's why cycling resonated with me, especially the grand tours which are nearly 3 straight weeks of daily races.
>>256743>Japs are often more worried about not looking lazy than about actual resultsdingdingding
The new Chris video really portray Horseshoe as the stereotypical underhanded villainous mongol that he clearly is, thats commendable for Chris, but I thought he was one of those anti-racist types who supposedly eschew racial stereotypes. I wonder if Horseshoe is going to continue stalking and trying to intentionally injure Dan in training before the basho starts or if this was just a one time thing, bet it'll happen at all stables again at least. Horseshoe really isn't doing much of a job of hiding his flaming envy of Dan and the emotional insecurity he forced on himself via his lack of success post-promotion. 404 hinkaku not found
>>256815Horse really bullies? No dignity
>>256816He doesn't have the hustle and commitment to training that Dan does so his only chance of victory is various forms of cheating such as trying to injure Dan in training matches.
>Aonishiki refuses to have a sparring match when called out by the YokozunaTerrible display of hinkaku.
>>256818Hosh is a retard who spars until he injures himself and Dan isn't stupid enough to get dragged along for that.
>>256822Even if I assume all your fan fiction to be true, that is still a terrible display of hinkaku.
>>256823Hosh is the one lacking in hinkaku for desperately pleading to his greatest opponent for practice in beating him.
>>256824You don't know what hinkaku means. Stop posting.
Shut up about your hinkaku, have some bulgarian cuisinehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHSpT3Xvi9E
>>256825Hosh is trying to intentionally injure Dan in bouts because he can't beat him.
>>256828NTA but... maybe... Hosh is trying to injure himself so he can drop in march before the humiliation ritual...
>>256829His actions are either stupid or wanted. He's more like his uncle than he realises.
>>256832*unwanted
>Rikishi goes out of his way to get practice bouts against other rikishi he's weak to>He's stupid, he wants to injure him, he wants to injure himselfI genuinely can't tell who's "shitposting" and who's a mentally ill retard. This general sucks.
>>256834According to Chris in their bouts today Hosh pulled some arm bullshit that Dan wasn't a fan of so called it quits. What exactly does Hosh think he's doing here? Does he think Dan is going to tell him how to beat him? The guy who's chasing others around like a dog is probably the one lacking hinkaku.
>>256835>According to ChrisI'd need a recording or three more accounts of how the training went down before judging. He probably called it once he physically exerted himself to avoid some stupid injury a week before the basho
>>256836>to avoid some stupid injuryIf "some stupid injury" is a metaphor for Hoshoryu then sure, he most certainly was avoiding "some stupid injury".This 21 year old Ukrainian kid has Mongolia's finest fucking SEETHING lmao.
>>256834At this point I post a silly sumo image or webm, but otherwise I try to ignore most posts and move on.Most of them have noticeable writing styles and can be easily dismissed.
Hoshtards be chimping out cause their boy got caught out in public with no hinkaku
>PLEASE FIGHT ME DAN PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE I'M A YOKOZUNA SO YOU HAVE TO TELL ME HOW TO BEAT YOU AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHt. "Hinkaku"
lmao that horse tried to intentionally injure dan in training, but was too weak and wimpy to pull it off successfully. if dan had tried to do the same bullshit to horse then horse would be in the veterinary hospital presently.
>>256815>but I thought he was one of those anti-racist types who supposedly eschew racial stereotypes.He buys into stereotypes 100%. He’s not a racist about it.The only people he really hates are the Japanese because they don’t accept him as one of them.
>>256844>馬が危ないDo you think he heeded the warning?
Rate my stable.
What's with all the insanely obvious samefagging?
>>256834I'm gonna go with the guy that does NOTHING and I mean NOTHING but bitch about Hosh as the mentally ill retard.
The Japanese sumo media has started referring to Dan as 青い目のサムライThe Blue Eyed Samurai
Why did he do it.
>>256856each mighty step dispels 100 evil spirits
>>256713>only 200kgMusashimaru could bench that for reps.
>>256742
Roga's birthday, he is 78
Did we ever find out when Zak exactly got injured after his yusho?
>>256864yea we did
>>256864His knee
>>256861Man some of the all time greats had top tier shiko. Chiyonofuji and Takanohana were both Abi tier.
>>256861Man that's some good fucking shiko
https://www.sponichi.co.jp/sports/news/2026/03/02/articles/20260302s00005000161000c.htmlFujinokawa to visit Onosato for a pre-basho sparring session, loser takes a jeroboam of sake up the ass
Bastards, its our time to take names from bottom makuuchi and get that sansho
Hoshoryu is a bitch for trying to injure Aonishiki's arm before the tournament.
>>256884I can't see him going from 9-6 in Juryo to 12+ in Makuuchi desu.
>>256879Isn't Nishonoseki way out in the boonies? That's commitment. Wouldn't mind watching a sparring session between 'sato and the Ultimate Manlet.
>>256891Kisenosato's new Osaka camp is much more centrally located, I forget where it is exactly but the jap media was making a big deal about it a few weeks ago cause they got two practice dohyos >Gee Onosato, how come your oyakata lets you have two dohyos?
you'er in da club and this weirdo lurches in, grabs your gf by the belt and shoves his head into her chest, how do you react?
Its Onosatoverhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rvWeULQNeo
>>256895Just take a fucking basho off lmao. Asashoryu pulled a sickie one basho and nothing came of it.
>hosh does not seem to have figured "it" out>sato putting his yamato bushido spirit on full display (in a manner similar to the imperial japanese navy roughly around 1945)Holy shit he might actually have the chance to do it
The next yusho winner? Heh, if I told you I'd have to kill you.It's Kinbozan btw.
>>256901kys
>>256902He was within a hair's breadth January last year. This is his time.This is HIS time.
Official wagering odds for Osaka are out, the bookies have finally learned their lesson after taking a beating at Dan's hands for calling him an underdog two bashoes in a row. Dan is now the favorite to win and the yokozunas have the longer odds.
>>256904why is the most consistent 8-7 guy in 4th place?
>>256905The guys calculating these odds are shit are their jobs, and you can probably dunk on them by following Ozumo even slightly. WMH at 16:1? Lmao the guy hasn't one in his career been in contention for a Yusho after the first fucking 5 days. Fact check my ass on this, the best he's done without losing a match is 5 days. And he's considered solid Sanyaku material right now.
Hinkaku is a meme. All rikishi are villainous cowards and bullies.
With how much hype there is about Dan's potential rope promotion, it'd be hilarious if this ends up being a clown basho instead.
>>256907I still can't believe the way Ura beat that deshi's face in with a broken glass bottle.>>256908IchiyamaYUSHO
That khokhol whiteboy will never be a Yokozuna. He's going to choke harder than any who came before.
>>256910I came just this morning.
>>256893>they got two practice dohyosThe main stable also has two dohyos. It's such a simple fix, but it's honestly a gamechanger. Look up any keiko video of a mid-size or bigger stable and you'll see a dozen guys just standing there watching or fucking with dumbbells. 2 dohyos = 2 times as much sparring bouts that can be done. I get there's space/money constraints with the heyas, but it's a wonder nobody else thought to do this until Nishonoseki.
>>256912There's all the ritualized stuff that makes maintaining 2 a huge headache. It also depends on how the stablemaster wants to plan things throughout the day. There's a lot that can be done to whip the weakass members into shape beyond the normal dohyou use. And yeah, getting that floor space meant setting things up pretty far from the Tokyo arena, where others can just take a short comfy cab ride.
Do any makuuchi rikishi have a lower tier brother ready for March to sacrifice to get a yuusho like Kotoshoho did last year?
>>256898>suicidally stupid>suicidally proudOur yokozunae, everyone!
>>256914>>256912Why don't they just practice without a ring? They can do sumo anywhere with a flat ground, just draw a circle with chalk.
>>256904>Atamifuji1Are there multiple tomatoes now?
>>256918Kayo is a sungold tomato.
>>256912>I get there's space/money constraints with the heyasThere's a very obvious reason why Nishonoseki moved two prefectures away from Tokyo. Shit's fucking expensive compared to the outlying areas. They're even outside what the government considers actual Tokyo suburbs in terms of where people live who commute to work in Tokyo, they need to be that far away for land prices to be low enough to have such a large building..>>256917Ring awareness and using the tawara are vital parts of sumo. At best they could do chest lending from one side of the room to the other, but practice bouts can only be done on a proper ring if you want the wrestlers to actually get anything from them.
https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/c33fa1cdcce593efdb05b1a15cf21c889b48c235/images/000Dan went to Shodai's stable and did some practice bouts with kiriSHITma
>>256920get some foam cylinders, cut them in half, and superglue them to the ground then
>>256922Not the same, no matter what the IFS wants to say to squeeze money out of dumb foreigners.And besides, whatever the ring is made from, it still requires space.
>>256921>kiriSHITmaThat's not his name.
Is 2026 the year Kotozakura finally gets demoted or is he going to keep getting away with his 8-7 salaryman sumo every tournament with kadoban into another 8-7 protecting his cursed ass? I think it's time to put him out of his misery.
Kotozakura will make yokozuna before Dan.
>when Takayasu does his tsuppari the entire bout'luv me thousand hands technique
>>256925>>256928soon krang will get major upgrades and brutally murder everyone
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdYRYVdd5o4
How are you supposed to meet girls and get pussy if you're at the stable training all day?
>>256931Good Dan video
So beyond sick of all the Dan spam from normie casuals. If he wasn't a caucasian no one would even care.
>>256933Just rape them at the bar when your stablemaster isn't looking,
>>256920>Ring awareness and using the tawara are vital parts of sumo.>practice bouts can only be done on a proper ringTotally wrong. Several heya including Kise don't use tawara in their practice rings
>>256938Attitudes like that are why Kise doesn't have a yokozuna.
>>256938Attitudes like that are why Kise has never had a wrestler kk in sanyaku.
Takasago's tawara-less dohyo.
>>256936No! Rape is wrong!
>>256935>If Onosato wasn't Japanese the Japanese wouldn't care about him.
>>256943go on a japanese board. they might agree
>>256943Why would I care about a foreigner in a Japanese religious tradition? They should ban all gaijin from sumo. Go join Hakuho's feminist globalist sumo if you want to watch foreigners.
Cry moar, faggot.
>>256945>Go join Hakuho's feminist globalist sumo if you want to watch foreigners.KEK! This. So much this. Go watch that mong's feminist circus act.
>>256849
Hakuho is such a prideful idiot. If he had just taken his punishment like a good boy, he would have had his stable by now. Instead he's making a fool out of himself operating some bizarre traveling carnival with obese women and freaks.
>>256931would be better without some faggot commenting over it
>>256947
>>256944>>256945Sorry I guess that went over your head, people caring about an athlete because of their race is a fairly normal thing and it in no way shape or form minimizes the results and performance of said athlete. You getting mad about it however is not normal, you should get that checked.He's white and is currently the top dog in the sport.
>>256952>is currently the top dog in the sportNever has he ever been the "top dog" and he never will be.
>>256953>>256904
>>256933You have evenings free and you get Sunday off. Enho reportedly went on a lot dates in his heyday, before he was a crippled old man.
>>256954>bookiesare you retarded?
>>256956>The top dog currently is whoever is at the top of the banzuke which has been folded over 10,000 times. I am unable to comprehend anything beyond winning twice in a row as Ozeki meaning you are perpetually the top dog forever until you retire
>>256957Then why do they have zak higher than kirishima? Also
>>256958OH NO NO NO NO DELETE THIS RIGHT NOW
>>256952>>top dog
might grip a tegatathoughts? questions? comments?
Has anyone tried making an onahole out of a tegata? I want to feel the grip of a yokozuna around my cock.
>>256962i think dan currently has the hardest grip
>>256963The faggot said a yokozuna.
Otowayama's tawara-less dohyo.
>>256961damn, 12 thousand for a hand print
>>256965Shameful. Disgusting.
>>256967But enough about Aonishiki's teppo.
>>256965They really need 4 rings with that many rikishi.
>>256915How much lower does the sacrifice have to be? That I'm aware of, the Waka Bros, Oho, Tamawashi (in law), Asakoryu, and Tobizaru all have brothers in lower divisions.
>>256924Fine. He did some bouts with Lkhagvasuren Byambachuluun.
>>256965Isn't that just some rented place for Osaka, and not proper heya
>>256972Sure. They still practice on it for several weeks leading into a basho.
I hate most of the current sekitori.
I'm largely indifferent to most sekitori. I don't like Kinbozan or Shishi because of how oafish and uncouth they are in the ring, and Oho frustrates me because he's clearly capable of much more but just can't lock in.My favourite is probably Atamifuji or Fujinokawa. The manlet is in for a decade of incredible popularity if his body holds together (it won't).
>>256943>if horseryu didn't suck then nobody would say he is a fake yokozuna
He doesn't. Only retards say it.
KPMG stands for Kill Pretentious Mongol Goyims
>>256979>mfw the sponsor could only afford to print 4/5ths of the design.
>>256979No it doesn't you stupid asshole.
>>256975I believe Oho suffers from a dire lack of coaching. I realize he had no choice in the matter, but he should not have gone to Otake stable. It’s a dead-end.Think about it: his first stablemaster, the former Dairyu, maxed out at juryo 4. The current guy, the former Tamaasuka, capped out at maegashira 9 and had only one winning record in the top division in 12 chances. Basically a career juryo guy.Oho’s 26 now, so this is his peak. I don’t think we’ll ever see much more of him than a cheeky yusho in a clown basho like his father did. Poor kid had all the physical gifts but he really never stood a chance.
>>256983>Oho’s 26 now, so this is his peakKaio didn't make Ozeki until he was 28.
>>256984I’m not saying it’s impossible that Oho makes a jump but Kaio is not really a good comparison because he came up in an era of Takanohana, Akebono, and Musashimaru. Getting 33 over 3 with those names on the banzuke is tricky.Similarly, Kaio had injury issues early in his career that always hampered his upward momentum, but he was always good fora winning record, while Oho has actually been remarkably durable over his career but inconsistent in terms of record.
Sumo is a welfare program for village oafs.
>>256989And thats a good thing
Oaf's got that DAWG in 'em.
My shikona? 王譜 (Oufu). It means kingly heritage.
>>256965It always looks like a JAV the way they all stand around half naked just waiting.
>>256970Probably has to be someone competing in the makuuchi division.
>>256997>WTK's injury reappears and he fucking explodes on day one>WMH announces he'll fight his brothers matches and his own>Goes 30-0 in a single basho
>>256941I never understood this, why would you train in a tawara-less dohyo? Wouldn't you want a dohyo with tawara so you're used to it and can see and feel it so when its match day its not new to you? I feel like a boxing version of this is sparring in a ring without ropes, just weird
>>257000Setting up a dohyo with a tawara takes a long time
>>257000Yeah time and money mostly. Having to break down and refill the tawara multiple times a year alongside the dohyo itself is no fun.The Dohyo lacking tawara do have a small lip at the edge to emulate a tawara.
>>257000having a huge bump is a big source of injuries, either from landing directly on it or messing up knees and ankles from stepping on it wrong
>>257004>>257000>>257001Why are you trying to make it so complicated and expensive. Just nail down some foam blocks to emulate the tawara. You don't need to fold the rice bails 1000 times into the clay just for a practice ring. Evil spirits only show up to the main event.
>>257008"We" aren't doing anything.The small lip on a tawara less dohyo does the same job.Reminder sumo isn't only a sport but also a traditional practice.
>>257010Then the stablemasters and the JSA should budget for more floor space and cost to build a proper dohyo.
>>257011They don't want to, sorry that bothers you.
>>257012Then they will accept lower performing rikishi.
>>257013Damn you are so smart dude, maybe you should run the jsa.
>>257015What is it about sumo that has every newfan deciding that he knows how to “fix” the sport, three months after they start watching?You don’t see this with soccer or marathoning or Formula 1.
>>257016You absolutely do see that with other sports. Especially Formula One with the Netflix crowd.
>>257016Idk man, but it really is every time."Heh, I bet they never thought of this!"
Speaking of fixing sumo, I would make throat thrusts an illegal move. It only takes a few pounds of pressure to crush your throat and cause you to suffocate to death, ban that shit.
>>257019Me on the left as Shodai, you on the right as Shohozan for making that suggestion.
>>257019i dont think anyone has ever died from a nodowa
>>257013tard
>yfw the day Tamawashi eventually retires
>>257023I'll be dead in 2150 so I don't care
>>257023Takakeisho debuted 10 years after Tamawashi.
>>257021Abi is trying dude.
>>257026Those two are a great example of how the difference in physical build and application of styles has a huge impact on career longevity.Keisho's frame was never meant for sumo, and It's amazing what he was able to do with it for as long as he was active. Basically fighting his own body his entire career and acting as a human cannonball head first.Tamawashi on the other hand is very careful in his sumo, fighting in a way to minimize injury and tending to take it easy on the tawara on defense. Being more physically gifted has allowed for this style to work.Both men are impressive for different reasons for sure.
>>257029So, what's the story behind that gigantic bruise? Did he get in a car crash? Whatwas the shikona of the car? Do we have a clip?
>>257031Playoff in 2019 vs MitakeumiTorn Pec.
>>257029Damn it looks like his gyno has turned necrotic.
>>257004Dan's practice facility has authentic rice straw tawara, not one of those fake sissy ones like poorfag losers have. Horse's practice facility has tawara made out of gay cause he is fag
>>257019I'd make them mandatory and have the retired wrestlers serving in blue jackets at the bashoes nodowa the fans, they'd love it >I only paid for a regular ticket but takarafuji slapped the shit out of me for free, I fell down a flight of stairs it was awesome!! So authentic!!
>>257023>my mfw when the day Tamawashi finally retires
>>257036He's one of the good ones.He isn't seen as a mong, just an old man with a perfect attendance record.
>>257032How did that one happen? Pushed too hard?
The tawara at my stable are made of pool noodles.
The tawara at my stable are made of poodles.
>>257038probably just overtraining
>>257038Pretty much yeah. Similar to kisenosato's but pushing instead of throwing.>>257042Retard
>>257043What causes HorseSHITryu's disgusting thigh and ass acne? Is it a disease or some sort of rash or is it just because he doesn't wash?
>>257044Why don't you shut the fuck up? It's condition that some of us have and there's nothing that can be done. It doesn't mean that we don't wash or that we're dirty. Fuck you.
>>257044I think you need to find something else to obsess over.
>half the rikishi now are zoomers that make more money than you, get more pussy than you, and have achieved more fortune and glory in front of the world than you ever will have, they will be remembered while you will die forgotten
>>257048Almost 90% of the rikishi aren't even being paid at all, so I make more than them by default.
>>257016Most people don't have any idea what they're talking about, but a lot of veteran fans also have ideas, and there is some really low-hanging fruit like fixing the Isegahama guys' lifting form
>>257050half of salaried rikishi
>>257048Well I've literally never gotten pussy, don't try to get pussy, and haven't lest my house in over a decade so that's not an accomplishment at all.
>>256994The reality? 穢多 (Eta). It means abundance of filth.
>>257037*
>>257019Fuck off to your faggot soccer thread. Bitch.
>>257023Correct.
Fat little bitch. Only in sumo could some 5'6" manlet be 100kg and ppl think he is skinny
>>257023>yfw the day Tamawashi eventually retires
>>257059I was making a reference to the prior discussion about oafs but okay.
>>257072I'm aware.
>>257080whos baldy
>>257081Araiso (ex-Kotoyuki)
>>257038steriods are a part of it
Newfags don't even know Takakeisho lore. Pathetic.
Nikkan Sports described Fujinokawa's visit to Nishonoseki's Osaka training camp as "short but intense"
>>257089They should've seen me and my ex getting it on.
Its WakatakaKOGAover, he is cooked. If he competes he will be pulling double digit losses and possibly making his injury situation even worse.
Chanko sharts
*heavy breathing* I did my style of sumo.
Dan obliterated KiriSHITma in training for the 2nd day in a row, Dan was 7-0 this time, he was 8-1 against him yesterday. https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202603040000865.html
>>257094I can't wait for the basho to start so you can eat a whole plate of SHIT as Dan gets exposed and embarrassed.
Yeah, I'm thinking it's fantasy sumo yusho time.
>>257095Yeah now that Dan is O1e and not O1w he's finally going to his a ceiling where his schedule is too tough for him.
>>257096kotoshoho has an ankle injury
>>257098He'll ganbarize and heal on the dohyo.
I hope Shishi the Oaf suffers a career ending injury and gets deported back to the Donbas.
>>257101Imagine watching drone footage on /pol/ and in the split second before it cuts off you see it fly towards a face you think you recognise.
>>257096Roga, the Russian Eagle.
This is the lowest Zak has been on the banzuke since he took on his current shikona in May 2024.
>>257093You are currently in the yusho race, what are your thoughts? *passes the mic*
>>257106ureshishi
>>257106*heavy breathing* I don't think about it. *wipes sweat from brow* I just try to do my style of sumo. Thank you.
>>257107Fat pig faced oaf. I can't believe this ugly gaijin bastard gets to fuck 8/10 Jap pussy.
>>257109Eimi-chan is cute!
Cutest Okami-san is Futagoyama in that bowling beyaslop when she gets a strike :3c
>>257096>he picked mr. 7-8
>>257113Roga is due his breakout any moment now. Expect 10+ wins this bashoaaaaahHHHHHHAHAAHAHAH SORRY I CAN'T FUCKING DO IT LMAOOOOOOO
Shikogod flattened Zak's tits. I love how dynamic the photos jsa has been doing recently are.>>257088is this Fujinokawa after day 4?
>>257116>is this Fujinokawa after day 4?He's going to get physically split in half within the next three basho and the crowd are going to go fucking wild. He's on a crash course with an -ACK!!! and my god I'm there for it.
KOGASHITma lost 7 in a row to Dan lmaoo kwabamb
>>257118>KOGASHITmaNow that's a new one. But Kirishima is plagued with injury and already had his shot at rope. He's earned mountains of praise, don't be a faggot.
>>257116I wanna hug Kotozakura
>KOGAsato>HoshoKOGA>KoKOGAkura>AoKOGAki
>>257121>dans name is the only one it doesnt work with
>>257121>IchiyamaKOGA>WakaKOGAharu>TakaKOGAsho
>安青錦、全勝で出稽古打ち上げ 綱とりの春場所へ、冷静沈着https://news.yahoo.co.jp/articles/aa8b4a4c770f7df80ce7e3c4f035f8ceb0a750ab
>>257125WHY DOES THIS WORD EXISTTHIS IS WHY NOBODY LIKES JAPANESE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXfKaPL-rdA
Dan's pale white cheeks got me questioning things.
>>257127>DanslopThe situation is really fucking obvious. Going off Hosh's promotion Dan just needs a 13-2JY.
Dan is the current reigning champion of sumo.
Aonishiki must go 13-2 AND defeat Onosharto if he wishes to get promoted t YMCA
>>257127yo who is that
>>257109No way Shishi is smashing.
AoniSHITki must get a perfect record if he want to be promoted.
how in tarnation did Onosato ascend to one-armed bandit status and go on a winning streak while only using one arm last bashohis style of Sumo is evolving into something.. powerful
Must be pretty frustrating being an anti-Danner since Dan is the most successful sumo wrestler of all time
>>257136Small sample size. Give it 6 more basho before we see if he's fit to sniff the coat tails of Hakuho or Asashoryu,
>>257137Nobody has come close to Raiden's few hundred years old win rate records.
>>257132AInishiki
>>257136You know that trolling this thread will have unintended consequences for you. Make the culture of the thread rancid enough with constant trolling and it will die.Then you’ll have no one to talk about sumo with unless you go to Reddit, where you’ll probably get banned instantly for talking bad about someone’s favorite wrestler.Free speech comes with responsibility.
>>257140It's true, this is the first time I've looked at and posted in the thread since a few days after the basho due to how fucking garbage it was. It doesn't seem much better.
>>257131That nigger just needs to win again. 2 basho in a row as ozeki is always enough.
Kiryuko is back this basho right
>>257142Not him but I've already decided I'm never posting on the /sp/ threads while a basho is ongoing again. I found all of the videos for every basho going back almost 20 years so I can just yt-dlp them and watch by myself. There's no point coming to these threads anymore, I've got mine and don't need to waste time with sharty-tier shitposters.
lmao the anti-Danners are sooooo mad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qk_p1oBwIQA
NHK has a another new special feature on Danhttps://www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/en/news/videos/20260304154330551/
>my brother
If Dan-chan can't get 14 or more wins he should not be promoted to Yokozuna imo.
>>257152These newscasters are terrible and so obviously rehearsed. It's like two shitty comedians doing a parody of day time tv.
>>257126It literally means something like "rope-grab". Not too complex.
>>257126It should be 綱取り
>>257155I might not care for Raja but all you've done is show of new you are.
Has a mawashi ever fallen off in the dohyo exposing the rikishi's cock and balls and asshole to the audience?
>>257159yes, that's why they made the rule that you lose immediately.or hopefully you get saved by the gyoji
>>257159the fact that this question gets posted so frequently is a source of amusement to me. all you gays watching sumo on the edge of your seats hoping to see dicks any second, lmao
>>257154Dan kami-sama will get promoted on 12-3 P and you'll like it
NHK grand sumo preview airs tomorrow, day 1 matchups will be dropping soon too
>>257164i bet you $1000 he will get henka'd and only get 11-4
>>257161Why would you penalize a rikishi for his opponent pulling his mawashi off?
>>257167because in japan the victim has to apologize for causing trouble
>>257168Just like in anime when someone gets shoulder checked while walking.
>>257167Grabbing the mawashi is a basic part of sumo. It's the fault of the rikishi wearing it for not securing it properly. If they let rikishi continue the match naked, it could be a competitive advantage against opponents strong on the belt.
>>257171Why don't they just start grabbing each other's rolls of fat in place of the mawashi.
>>257172>>257172
What is your favorite kimarite, anons?For me, it's yoritaoshi.
>>257174can't beat the oshidashinope, can't beat it
>>257175nakadashi
>>257174Koshikudake
>>257123AonishiKOGA
>>257148>videos for every basho going back almost 20 yearsWhere?
>>257174Ipponzeoi.Followed closely by utchari.
>>257180Utchari
>>257174Uchigake and Kirikaeshi are always sicko
>>257180
>>257174>>257182Really most leg entanglement throws, found this sick kawazugake in my collection.
>Really most leg entanglementA fun one here.
>>257162>Shit I left the oven on
>>257159https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EHej7JaA5w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0OSsB6urBI
>>257121 Nothing will top WakatakaKOGA
Hello my name is Shishi>*wink*
Turns out he was talking about Tekken.
Nobehara won't be able to get KK this basho
>>257218nnnoooooooOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>257198Dan wrecked WakaKOGAharu and KOGASHITma in practice again. WakatakaKOGA is injured and wasn't involved. Onosato losing 10 of 16 to Hiradoumi - its Onosatover, Dan wrecked his shoulder permanently. If that match had been called correctly as a win for Dan then the evil spirits wouldn't have infected the wounded shoulder and Onosato would've recovered. Now instead he will have to retire young and Dan will replace him as the top guy in sumo. Similarly WakatakaKOGA is being punished for that henka vs Dan.
>>257221https://www.sponichi.co.jp/sports/news/2026/03/05/articles/20260305s00005000169000c.htmlIts wakatakaover
>>257221You are a gay faggot.
>>257222Holy shit stage 4 at his age???
>>257224Elbow cancer is no joking matter, just ask Abi
>>257225Hosh's "elbow chips"...No...
Dan made a major appearance at a mall in Osaka>>257226>elbow chipsmy favorite breakfast cereal
Dan was 5-1 in practice bouts against Kansai region kindergarteners.
If all elders were put into a sumo tournament who do you think would win? Teru would be a big favourite since he's only recently retired, but Sadogatake still looks strong as fuck.
>>257230Teru sweeps if improvised weapons are allowed
>>257231And if they aren't?
>>257232Hakkaku because he's the top elder, obviously
>>257233Hakkaku isn't allowed to use improvised weapons? It's his sumo association and he can do whatever he wants.
It’s over for Teru.
>>257235Teru's still only 34 years old. He could easily put a dent in Hakuoho's skull
>>257235Teru is a feminist icon. He should be rewarded for protecting that woman from a potential sexual assault. Hakunofuji, on the other hand, is a low life degenerate piece of shit who should be forced to retire. Miyagino men are all scum.
>>257237Anon, the Isegahama boys once went to a public gym to flex on the faggots there. Teru could stack the leg press with so many 20kg plates that he actually maxed the machine and could STILL do reps. I know he's been retired for a year but an unbridled punch from a drunk Teru would break most people's skulls in half.God I'm so sick of this schoolyard drama. I hope Hakunofuji comes out and apologises for his conduct while saying he accepts what Teru did, and we all just forget about it.
>>257235Which stable will isegahama be merging with while terunofuji learns to be a good oyakata?
>>257241Miyagino
There is no good sumo literature available in English.
>>257240I agree. Sumo overcorrected from the hazing death scandal. All major sports have fights break out on and off the field of play. It's only natural for a strong young jock to get cute with a choid only to get physically corrected by his elder. It's really not a big deal.
>>257244Good. Nihongo wo naratte.
>>257244Chris is gonna take that personally
>>257241
>>257174other than the really skilful/inventive stuff (like Fujinokawa and his kakenage) I still pop for a good tsuridashi every time
>>257235>dumbass angers sponsor>stablemaster punishes the dumbassNo in fact Teru will be perfectly fine, the sponsor will say that Teru acted correctly and money talks.
>>257235>Hakunofuji is flirting with a woman who has a ridiculously large sign hanging around her neck that reads, "DANGER! I'm the wife of the one who pays your rice and your stable's bills!">Hakunofuji notices Teru standing at the door, staring at him with the most threatening expression he's ever seen>"Did you bring him here to kill me?!">The waifu looks at Teru, confused.>"What? What's happ...?">Hakunofuji gives her a nodowa mid-sentence>Teru: "LET HER GO, HAKUNOFUJI!">Teru approaches with his 180kg of pure sumo body>Hakunofuji lets her go>"You cockblocked me! You're not going to take her from me!" >"Your weak shoulder, your injured ankle, and your lack of hinkaku have already done it. You've let Hokuseiho stick to your mind, and now you've become everything you swore to push away...">"Don't lecture me, Teru. I see through the lies of the Mongols. I'm not afraid of evil spirits. I've brought several days at once, many styles of sumo and hinkaku to my new stable...">"Your new stable...?!">"Don't make me create a scandal...">"Hakunofuji my allegiant is to the JSA! To the systemic corruption of the sumo elders!">"If you don't let me fuck hags against the interest of all the stable... then you're my enemy...">"Only a student of Hakuho deals in absolutes...">Teru grabs Midorifuji by the ankles and wields him like a baseball bat>"I will fulfill my duty as Oyakata...">Hakunofuji grabs Enho by the ankles>"You'll try..."
>>257258kino
>>257258okay now tell AI to make the scene(it probably won't because a mongol could never play obi wan)
Dan is fighting for more than just himself.
>>257222
>>257262japanese is a schizo language if you use the literal translations
>>257235I always thought Hakunofuji looked like an aggressive little shit.
>>257258
>>257140>>257148Honestly you must be really new here if you don't know how to deal with low tier untargeted shitposting. Seeing as the entire site is dying I'm amazed anyone found it to begin with it current year.
>>257266The cancer that helps kill 4chan deserves to have a dead echo chamber. My lack of posting helps contribute to that end.
>>257258>several days at once, many styles of sumothis got me good
