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Yeeeah, work that grill baby.

Board must've been fast last night.

>>40964884
yeah, kinda surprised

>>40965248
just this once, don't beat on me.

Anon should repost his bump story

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>>40965750
this, I would greatly appreciate it

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>The prettiest mare in Ponyville wants to have sex with me
>Better reject her and treat her like shit
What the fuck is wrong with you fags?

>>40966447
You are such a pleasant bore, Flutterhorse.
All you ever talk about is sex.

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>>40966466
>Everyone I don't like is Fluttershy
Looks like a certain yellow mare lives rent free in your head.

>>40966489
(You) fuckin wish

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>>40966572
You'll give in one day.

>>40966489
You're flagging and avatarfagging. At least you finally learned not to namefag.

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>>40965750
>>40966151
okay

>Be Fluttershy
>Show up to Anon's house, the local human and glorious sex ape of Ponyville
>Well, he hasn't exactly rutted you yet
>You just like calling him a sex ape, it hasn’t caught on with any pony else
>Not that any other mares have an interest in Anon like you do, thank Celestia
>Unfortunately, you don’t think he’s ready for anything like that yet anyway
>And you don't want to push him or make him do something he isn’t comfortable with yet
>But… oh, sweet Celestia, you just want him!
>You want him to pin you down and take you. It’d be so easy for him to do it, and you just wish he would already
>You'd do anything for him if he would just love you and make you his pony
>But he never seems to understand this, understand you
>Maybe it’s because you’re shy…
>You’re dressed as a police mare right now
>You don’t really like the uniform, but you wear it for Anon
>For some reason, he likes it when you dress up for him. He always makes a mention of it when you do
>Yesterday, when you were a sexy nurse, he even brought you inside with him for once
>He let you sit with him on his couch
>The cushions smelled like him, they were lovely
>You take your cherry stick in your mouth and tap on his door three times before holstering it
>Oh, you just can't wait for him to notice you again today
>He's so wonderful, and big, and nice
>His house just smells so nice too
>And sexy...
>Like his fat cock when he's touching it in the shower
>You swallow, your mouth full of drool, as you recall that magical morning, looking inside his bathroom window, when you watched him squeezing his hard dick
>You can't help it if he's always unsheathed, and that he’s nice enough to leave his curtains open
>You’re so glad that he didn't catch you that morning; you got to watch the whole thing
>He thought he was alone too, so he was very, very thorough with his cock
>It's not your fault he gets so horny when he’s doing something as harmless as cleaning himself
>You’re still not sure why he decided to do that right then and there
>N-Not that you’re complaining
>It’s just that you’d love to ask him about it, humans are so fascinating
>You won’t though, because it would embarrass him
>Not to mention that you wouldn’t be able to show your face in Ponyville ever again if it got around that you watched him doing that
>Goodness. Can you imagine if Twilight, or Rainbow Dash, or even Rarity found out that you liked, no–that you loved what you saw?
>And that you’d even watch him do it again…
>You guess you could stand to be more assertive with Anon when it comes to your feelings for him
>But you’re just really, really afraid to try
>It would be so rude if it seemed like you were trying to impose yourself on him when you’re not
>You just want him to fuck you
>That’s not that much, right?
>No, it’s not; at least, not for him

>>40966892
>There’s something very wonderful lurking beneath Anon’s pants, but it’s also kind of scary too
>You’ve always been good with creatures
>You watched him the entire time he was playing with that big thing of his, with luck you’ll never forget it
>In terms of sheer power, your beautiful Anonymous, this sex ape…
>Well, you just know it whenever you’ve got something special close to your hooves
>You can feel it, even if every pony else can’t yet; but then again they’ve all been in love with some stallion or other before this
>Anon is special to you
>With just his hands and some lotion, he was doing things you'd only wished you could do to him with your body
>You'd rub yourself all over his penis if he wanted you to
>Oh, you wonder what it is he was touching himself to
>You hope it was you…
>N-No, that's silly!
>Although you do see him almost every day, so if he was going to be thinking about some pony when he was doing that
>When he was touching his cock like that
>When he growled and came like a firehose, and his thick, bubbly cream came through his clasped fingers, dripping down his length
>...
>What if he was thinking about you that whole time!?
>You quickly bite your lip and stifle an "Unf!"
>Gosh. You would be so honored
>Wouldn't it just be wonderful if he was always like he is in the shower?
>Just always touching his penis, g-getting it big and hard
>Thinking about you...
>You feel your wings stiffening up beneath your blue shirt
>No! Bad Fluttershy!
>Stop thinking about penis, you can’t let him see you like this
>He’s coming to open the door, you can hear him because he's so big
>So, so b-big...
>You're starting to sweat, you can feel your pussy burning up already
>And he hasn't even opened up yet
>You haven’t even seen him yet and you already want to cum
>You need to relax, Fluttershy
>There's no way he will let you inside again if he sees you worked up like this
>Your wings are throbbing, your knees are shaking
>Your marehood is moist, soft and warm, and it aches when it’s empty
>You want to beg him to fill you up, but you'll die of embarrassment the second you let him see how horny he made you
>Even your tail is ruined now
>You spent almost an hour brushing it this morning, making it look all nice and pretty for Anon
>And now it smells like it's stuck to your wet messy butt
>The door slowly opens
>Oh no, you’re still too horny
>What do you do, what do you do, what do you do!?
>Run away?
>Hide?
>Stay glued on his front step like a complete dope...?
>Blood rushes to your ears, as well as some more sensitive, and much wetter, areas between your thighs
>Then you take a deep breath
>...Oh, buck it!
>Let him see you when you’re turned on!
>You swallow a lump in your throat as he appears in the door
>Your eyes trail up his body, starting from the bottom, and lingering for a while below the belt, until you reach his handsome, smiling face
Hey, Yellowquiet.

>>40966900
>Your heart sings when you hear his little nickname for you
>Oh dear, he's showing off one of his fangs, while he’s smiling at you!
>Oh my! You're so bad, Anon. Do you even know that...?
>You fold your ears, nickering softly and feeling yourself wink up at him
Nice to see you too... Police mare today?
>He gestures to your soaking wet puss--oh, no, it's just your costume
>You forgot you were still wearing that
Different outfit today, I see. Police pony, right?
>You nod; at least he likes today’s outfit, even if you do wish he would talk about your pussy instead
>He chuckles
That's cute.
>You gasp, nearly rearing back in happiness
>He called you cute!
>That's close to sexy, right?
>Is he horny yet?
>You look closely at his crotch, at your prize that's tucked away beneath those pants
>You can see, pressing against his thigh, the indent of his cock, long and plump
>Unf!
>Anon, you tease
>You hope he knows just what his naughty human body is doing to you right now…
>You look up at him and try to moan
>“Mmmm.”
>He blinks
Gesundheit.
>Then he clears his throat
So, did you need something else or...?
>You stare up at him, little hearts pounding in your eyes as you nod slowly
>You're going to tell him this time, tell him all the naughty things you’ve always wanted to do with him
>Every single one
>You’re going to tell him all of them
>You've tried to do this before but you've always been too shy or unclear to really get it across to him
>He never seems to hear you
>But you can't take it anymore, you’ve waited too long
>This sexy human
>You need his cock now
>And you're going to tell him every single one of the things you want him to do to you
>Then he’ll understand, and you can finally be his pony
>You gather all your courage
>This has been a long time coming
>Looking in his eyes, you say:
>"Anon, I..."

>Be Anon
>>"Neigh."
>That yellow horse is here again today, speaking her horse words
>You've heard others in town call her Fluttershy, so you just call her Flutters
>>“Neigh,” she says. “Whinny, Anon. Whinny.”
>Aw. She’s saying your name again. She’s gotten good at that
>For a long time now this cute little pony has been coming over every day
>She’s taken to always dressing up as something different lately
>You're not sure why, you think she's just very interested in you
>Before you got a dryer, she used to sneak around outside and try to steal your wet clothes off the line
>She really likes underwear for some reason
>Maybe she just likes clothes, kind of like that white pony in town
>You don’t like her as much. She always follows you around and tries to herd you into her boutique whenever she sees you wearing sweatpants
>>"Neigh, neigh. Whinny, whinny, whinny... Neigh?"
>She sure is talking up a storm today
***
>"...And you can even put your cock in my b-butt, if that's what you like. Just as long as you don't stop until every inch of me is covered with your--"
***
>>"Weesnaw!"

>>40966908
>Following her silence after this, you smile and she responds in kind
>Her face is all red but she looks happy, and her wings are flapping for a change
>You’re glad she’s happy
>>“Whinny, whinny, neigh. Whinny, nicker…”
***
>"...And then you'll get me pregnant, because we tried so hard and because we believed that it could happen. You’ll get me pregnant, Anon, I don’t care what Twilight says. She hasn’t seen those big balls you’ve got. And we’ll just keep trying, and trying, and trying: Again, and again, and again, until… Oh!--"
***
>You watch her crane her neck and let out a long, slow horse noise
>>~"Neeeiiiiigh!"
>Huh. That was a weird sounding neigh.
>At least she's smiling though, and... rubbing her stomach.
>You swear you can hear her giggling too as she looks up at you from behind her mane
>>~"Neeeeiiiiiigh."
>Maybe it just feels good to neigh when you're a horse
>Usually you can't get more than a couple sounds out of her before she runs away from you
>She's a bit skittish, but she's easily more interested in you than any of the other ponies
>You even catch her smelling you sometimes, which you're pretty sure is supposed to be a sign of deep trust among horses
>It might just be these ponies though, or maybe just Flutters
>She really likes smelling you
>After a deep, satisfied sigh, she looks up at you again, her hoof smoothing the stray strands of her mane back in place
***
>“...You naughty man, m-making me cum in front of you like that. You know I love that smile of yours. Sweet Celestia. I can’t even trust myself when you’re this close to me, Anon. I’m a musk addict because of you. Don’t leave me alone with your underwear if you don’t want them to go missing. Because the only thing better than knowing that you’re going to ruin me for stallions with your big cock, the only thing that really makes me shiver, is knowing that I’ll finally, always smell you on me wherever I–”
***
>>"Neigh. Sex ape… Neigh, neigh!"
>She gazes up at you from beneath her police shades
>>~"Whinny..."
>Then she licks her lips, her tongue slowly running along her teeth
>She must have some hay stuck in them or something
>Now she's just staring at you and smiling; you can see her tail bobbing up and down
>You think she might be finished for the day
>No, wait, she’s leaning in close and… yeah, she wants to smell you
>Her muzzle presses lightly against the front of your zipper
>She looks up at you cautiously, her tail swishing
>She waits for you to give her a sign that she’s not doing anything wrong
>You don’t know why. She’s just smelling you, and she’s a horse
>It’ll be fine as long as she doesn’t get too worked up…
Go ahead.
>Her ears perk up, just for a moment
>They quickly flatten again once she stares at your crotch
>Her eyes closed, she presses her snout against the front of your jeans and inhales your scent, slowly at first, a gentle pull

>>40966911
>But soon she’s snuffling loudly, taking in as many huffs as she can, drool pouring out the sides of her mouth
>When her blushing face looks up at you again she’s gone cross eyed
>She’s even sweating and panting, like she just ran a marathon
>She swallows and wipes some drool off her lips
>>~“Whiiiiinnny”
>Okay, she’s going overboard
>You know you she loves getting these sniffs in, but she’s going to make herself pass out
>Then she starts nipping at your pants, her teeth gently tugging at the flap covering your zipper
>She must still be hungry
You should go eat some more hay if you’re hungry.
>She stops
>>“Neigh?”
>You see her raise her eyebrow
>>“Whinny, whinny? Anon. Neigh.”
>Speaking of food, you’ve got a frozen pizza in the oven that’s almost done
>Might squeeze in a quick shower before that too
>You are horny as hell for some reason
>Flutters is nudging your thigh with her muzzle
>>~“Whinny! Neigh! Weesnaw?...”
No, sorry, Flutters.
>She looks like she’s reaching for the button of your pants when you step back
>She sees you backing up, her ears flatten
>Then all the color drains from her face when you grab the door
Go get something to eat. I’ll see you later.
>>“Neigh! Anon, neigh!”
>She tries to push her way inside
>You remember the big, yellowish stain that she left on your couch cushions yesterday
>Don’t know if she pissed on it or what, but your whole house smells like pony butt
>You block her and gently ease her away from the door
Sorry, girl, but not today.
>>“Whinny, Anon! Neigh! Hot monkey dick! Neigh!”
See ya.
>You shut the door
***
>“Anon, wait. I can be hungry, if that’s what you want. I am hungry. Hungry for your cum, for your dick, for your everything!... Didn’t you hear me? Did I do something wrong? Don’t leave–”
>He shuts the door
>You sigh and let your head fall forward against the door, hearing it as he slides the lock in place
>It’s like he wasn’t even listening to you
>You must have overwhelmed him, tried to take too much at once; he got uncomfortable with you and left
>Oh Fluttershy…
>Why couldn’t you keep it vanilla!?
>And why did you have to start talking about the big book of fetishes that you’re putting together back at the cottage?
>Of course he doesn’t want to hear about any of that
>You talked about wanting him to hold your hoof too!
>Oh Fluttershy, you big pervert!...
>Well, at least he didn’t get mad
>He’s so big, and yet so gentle too
>Oh, you just can’t stay sad once your mind flutters to him
>Maybe he didn’t even hear it when you brought up all those fetishes you want to do with him
>That would be nice
>Well, either way, you'll just have to try again tomorrow
>Maybe next time you'll dress as a cowpony and try to rope him up
>Anything to make him see that you can be his pony

>>40966916
>Just then you hear the telltale squeak and rumble of his bathroom pipes behind the walls
>Your ears perk up, and you peek around the corner, towards that magical window
>Just have to make sure…
>His curtains are open
>“Yay!”

thnx 4 redding frens

>>40966937
Good stuff thanks for the repost

>>40966447
>>40966489
>OP has fluttershy
>post has fluttershy flag and reaction pic
>UHM ACKSHULLY RENT FREE TAKE YOUR MEDS SCHIZO
shut up.

>>40967357
some of the flutterspies are retards, don't pay them much mind

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>>40967357
Nobody's FORCING you to think about Fluttershy. Honestly, I think Anons in this thread might actually like her, they just aren't ready to admit it.

>>40967710
anon, I like Fluttershy too. Just saying that anon was being obtuse. Just because I like a persistent but cutely ill-advised butterbutt pulling asinine and goofy shenanigans doesn't mean I don't like Fluttershy outside this goofy subgenre of greens.

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>>40967734
There is no other Anon, I'm just shitposting lol.

>>40967740
flutterposting

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>>40965770
Smolder rape over here
Twilight is so evil in this one bros, you don't even know

>>40968030
Thanks for that.
Now Butterhush is going to be pestering Twilight for one of those passes.

>>40968826
What's worse is that Anon's presence alone is responsible for more than half of all the forged passes that exist out there right now. And it's getting harder everyday to tell the bootlegs from the authentic ones.

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>>40968852
The mere fact that such passes exist doubtless encourages fraud and abuse.

>>40968940
>Queen Chrysalis applies for one, arguing that she is an obligate amarevore and it is necessary for her survival

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>>40968957
>It works
>Fake Changeling applications flood Twilight's office
>The exact number of applications they've received is still yet to be determined
>It's estimated to be over three times the estimated Changeling population currently living in Equestria

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>>40969320

>>40969524
I can’t believe Glimmer would so brazenly commit a hate crime

>>40968826
They're a reward for passing the Rape the Ape class. Teachers can't reward themselves that.

>>40969980
It’s the little things

>Fluttershy opens a new business
>A "Human Therapy" business.
>At least, that's what you think on first glance.
>But then you take another look.
>"Humans: The Rapery"
>Yeah, that seems a good deal more likely.
>You piss on her doormat and carry on with your day.
>Making a mental note to come back and burn the place down the next dark night.

>”Um… is this your fetish?
>https://derpibooru.org/images/3337149

>>40970824
I’m sorry but I prefer big tears not busty b&thros

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>>40970824
I'll never understand the giantess fetish, it's doing too much.
You could get hurt, I mean yeah bigg tiddy and all but that's a b&thro body.
Amazoness builds are more reasonable while not being too much.

To you flutterspies, no, none of these are my fetish, I'm just saying where's the practicality?
Also, your tea tastes are basic.

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late night boop

>>40971302
Good save

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>>40971508
<3

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>>40970026
fucking plainity bro

>>40971709
I’ll have to check that out

>>40971709
Glad Rarity was a good friend, be weird if she had multiple personalities or something dumb like that.

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>>40971064
Fucking this. Even with fetishes I'm not into, I can at least get where most people are coming from. Typically, it's the taboo factor, right? I don't think taboo applies with giantess- it's just dull. What are you gonna do with your building-sized mare? You're certainly not going to fuck her. I get porn brain definitely applies with such things, and I'm far from the holier than thou sort, but giantess has just struck a particular irritation in me throughout the years. I really hate seeing such art in any form.
A lot of the commonly reposted art is very good, too, which makes the fact that I hate it even more annoying. It's so close to being a great image, ruined by the bothersome fetish.

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>>40973379

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This Pinkie looks at Anons who want to fuck one of her sisters.

>>40973914
I bet she’s real jealous of Maud

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late night boop

>>40973914
Put Marble down, Pinkie, I don't want to continue the Pie line!

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>>40975030
>Pinkie wants to be an aunt
>Marble wants a foal
Majority rules, your consent is irrelevant.

>>40975036
You monster Pinkie

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>>40975036
Wouldn't have minded Maud. Shame.

>>40970607
I'm not comfortable with Fluttershy getting insurance money.

>>40975920
guys
i clicked it, how long do i have?

>>40976297
Not long. Fortify your residence now. She will be coming…

>>40976297
Good luck anon

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXRZnAZCZu0
>Be Anon, dancing in your garage
>Be shaking your sexy ass to some Stray Cats on the radio
>You have the day off today
>Fluttershy already showed up
>She made you watch her fuck some fruit
>She can take a watermelon now
>You take a swig of some warm cider that you got in a mug, as you try to forget the evils you've seen
>This is a free day for you now
>And you're going to have some fun
>Just then you hear three knocks at your door
>Right when you were gonna get naked
>You button your jeans back up and wonder why the fuck Fluttershy is back
>Open the door
>Fluttershy is there, dressed up as a greaser, with slick-backed pink mane
>Her white, faux leather jacket, with the popped collar, has a pink flamingo wearing shades on the back
>She licks her lips, switching her toothpick from one side of her mouth to the other as she smiles
>She puts on her best bad girl voice
>"'Sup, Anon. Call me The Flutts."
I will not.
>"Square."
You didn't bring a watermelon with you. Not fucking any fruit this time?
>"Nah." She's inspecting the sparkly pink polish on her hoof, blowing on it.
>Once she's satisfied with whatever she thinks she's doing, she says:
>"So, um, not to bother you'se or nothin', but I noticed you was dancing in there--"
You couldn't have noticed shit, I was in my garage.
>Her ears fold immediately
>"...Right," she sighs, dropping whatever silly voice she'd been practicing for you up until then
>"Anyway, I was wondering if maybe I could dance with you. I've actually got a few moves of my own, believe it or not."
>She lifts her front hoof up before her and dangles it like a fishing hook before her chest
>It gently sways to the rhythm pounding out from your garage
>Fluttershy tries her best to sing along
>"Do do do, Do do doodily-doo! Do do do!"
>She smiles up at you for approval
>Man, she's awful
>But she's so cute, and she's not being too weird right now
>She didn't bring another watermelon, after all
You can dance outside, if you want.
>Her face falls
>"But--"
>Slam the door
>She actually does start dancing outside your garage
>Pinkie trots by and sees her
>"Wow. Sweet moves, Fluttershy. Let me get in there!"
>Then Dash shows up and sees the two of them
>She assumes they're having a dance competition and joins in
>Applejack shows up, same story
>Soon ponies that are just walking by have joined in too, more and more
>There's a fucking block party outside your house now
>You ask yourself when exactly your front yard turned into the neighborhood hangout
>All you fucking did was not dance with Fluttershy
>A football flies through your window and breaks it
>Hear Pinkie whine
>"Oh, no! It fell in cranky Mr. Anon's house. We'll never get it back now!"
What the fuck is going on...
>Suddenly, you hear Fluttershy show up on her Harley

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>>40977083
>Every pony falls silent as the coolest pony in all of town shows up
>The Flutts
>"Cool it, you'se guys. I'll handle dis." You can hear her popping her collar as she says this
>Every pony outside cheers
>As you hear Fluttershy trotting up to your window, Legends of The Flutts are whispered among the kids
>"I heard she got kicked out of flight school."
>"I saw her jump a shark with her motorcycle."
>"She got Princess Celestia and Luna pregnant at the same time."
>"I think she's...nice."
>As she gets closer and closer to your window, the block party starts back up
>Fluttershy shows up at your window
>She takes a stick and breaks away whatever jagged shards of glass were still in the pane
>Then she flies in, smiling at you, all of her greaser bravado gone
>She digs the tip of her hoof into the floor and, blushing, says:
>"Did you like my moves back there?"
>Right as she says this another football flies through the window and knocks over your cider
>Why does she do these things to you
>This was supposed to be your day off
>"So, um, now that it's just the two of us, do you think we can dance together now...?"
>You don't answer her right away
>Her tail is flicking and she's not looking at you, so you know she's working up the courage to ask you something else
>Finally, she says:
>"And, um, can you call me The Flutts when we do?"
>Fucking Greasershy

I tried to bump I swear

>>40977106
That was funny stuff anon

>>40977106
I like Greasershy! The very thought of Fluttershy imitating 1950s lingo/slang and trying to act cool is hilarious.
>Also, wearing motorcycle chaps over lingerie panties.
>Unf!
>Verification not required.

>>40977106
I'm in my garage?
Fine.
I'm getting a can of Liquid Wrench and a lighter.

>>40973469
if only

>>40977409
>>40973065

>>40977106
Poor Anon can never enjoy any peace with these blasted ponies around.

>>40977765
i don't have to do jack shit, ponko

>>40978139
She's a menace

>>40977765
What would Cheese Sandwich say about that?

>>40977106
Good job

>>40978800
Who? Such a pony does not exist in my list of relevant or existing ponies. What kind of stupid name is Cheese Sandwich anyway?

>>40977106
You just know "The Fluts" is going to fuck the footballs.

Don't let AJ see we're on page 9

>>40964876
Bringing this back, as the one true happy ending to this tale.

>Anon had finally did it
>He'd managed to jump through the portal in Princess Twilight's castle, that led to the Equestria Girls world
>After so long living among the talking horses, he'd almost lost hope of ever seeing fellow humans again
>But at long last, he was finally free from the clutches of the vile Fluttershy
>Stepping out of the portal, he was on the verge of tears

"Human clothes! Human food! Human humans!"
"And not a Pegasus in sight."
>Although, taking a closer look, the people passing by did have the same pastel colors as the ponies of Equestria
"Hmm... not exactly like Earth. But close enough!"

>Anon skipped down the street, happy as a lark, looking for the nearest burger joint
>He'd finally escaped Equestria, to a new home among his own kind
>And he was NEVER going back

>>40980183
>Anon turns into a pony when he goes through the portal
>Ayyylmao Flutters wants the HPD
There is no escape, anon.

>>40980183
Prepare to be Doug'd

>>40966447
>The prettiest mare in Ponyville
get real

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>>40980798
So who is the prettiest mare in Ponyville?

>>40980490
>>40980220
Please don't...
Anon is finally free, in a place where the ponies can't catch him.
Please don't take that away from him...

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>>40980220
>Sunset used to be the weird horse girl
>Then Fluttershy goes from being the weird animal girl at school to the girl with the horse fetish
>Sunset is kinda glad that Flutters has taken the heat off of her for a change
>Until Flutters comes to her with a proposal
>Threesome with her and Anon

>>40980784
I
did not realize that was a gif.

>>40980812
There is no rest for the wicked, anon.

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Never trust a mare with this manecut. They will rape you.

>>40981282
Could’ve stopped at never trust a mare

>>40980784
Didn’t expect that, and right when I zoomed in to see it better

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>>40982555

>>40982555
>solar eclipse
>mares use the cover of darkness to stalk and assault you
>Princess Luna prolongs the eclipse to ensure she doesn't miss her turn

>>40982585
How devious

>>40982585
Her tiny butt can't eclipse that cake larded sun.

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late night boop

>>40983752
Much appreciated

bump

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taking a nap, no dyin

>>40982585
>implying moonbutt doesnt use the cover of darkness from the eclipse to get to you first
your waifu was an average pony, but a brilliant rapist!

>>40984750
That is a very nice picture.

>>40980812
As a pony, his suffering will turn into insatiable lust for human booty. The cycle will begin anew.

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Flutters brings along her teammate, what do.

>>40986120
Tell her that Fluttershy cheats her sets and doesn't re-rack her weights.

>>40986146
>her
>click image thinking I'm gonna see some rule 63 bulk biceps
dissapointing

>>40986169
ha
gottem
my b, my hands auto-typed her and i didn't even process it until now

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>"Don't pay any attention to the advances of those needy whorses. How about telling me all about what YOU want..."
>"You missing some company from your fellow humans? I can shape myself in any way you please, like one of your human mares!"
>"Though, I'm not quite sure what to do, so you'll need to be feeling all over me as I work my magic so I get the shape just right, whispering in my ear the entire time what you want me to look like in excruciating detail so I don't miss a thing."
>We could go out every one of your dirty fantasies with every human mare you wanted, and I can show you what I've learned to please a colt in my decades of experience. They don't call me the Queen of temptation for nothing..."
>"What do you say? Or what is your body saying...?

>>40986422
I want to hang myself, thats what my body says, so do me a favor and end me ya bloody bug

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>tfw Anon says he isn't interested in continuing the Apple bloodline

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>>40986422
>Queen Bug Pone can provide the perfect loophole.
> ANYbody you ever wanted to bang.
>ANY cup size or ass or thighs.
>ANY aesthetic.

anons, what's so wrong with this? She's the perfect outlet.

>>40986974
He looks a bit too happy about it

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>>40987050
That isn't a happy smile.

>>40987052
Maybe he should take care of the Apple Bloodline himself

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>9

>>40988698
pick her nose
do it

>>40977765
Pinkie, you broke my fucking femur last time. You need to calm the fuck down. You literally wrapped your legs around mine and squeezed so hard that I nearly died from internal blood loss. I was saved by a literal miracle from Celestia since no one in the hospital understood how to treat me. You are not getting near me; those legs could literally snap my fucking neck with ease.

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>>40981282
The perfect mate, for this pone.

>>40988698
Why's Anon covered in blood?

>>40989481
hemorrhoids

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>>40989481
Some mare do not appreciate being booped.

>>40989481
post rape

>>40990241
Poor guy never stood a chance

>Another morning, another time to deal with Fluttershy's strange affections
>Open the door wearily
All right, Fluttershy, what sort of--
>"I love you!"
>You're taken aback by her sudden shouting
>And also by her disheveled mane and baggy, purplish eyes
>She looks like she just rolled out of bed
Are you okay?
>"You don't love me, though, right?"
Well, yeah . . .
>"Okay, good. We've established that."
You're acting weird.
>"No time for that!" she screams.
>She reaches into her saddlebags
>She pulls out a tiny green garden snake and holds it out to you
>It blinks and flickers its tongue your way, completely unaware of whatever it is that's going on around it
>"Garden snake!" Fluttershy says, waving it your way.
>Her tense face urges you on
>But to what effect, you're not sure
>So she groans at your lack of reaction
>"Are they your fetish, yes or no?"
Fluttershy, this is--
>"Yes or no?"
All right, all right, No. No, they're not my fetish. This has been another dumb attempt where it seems like you've barely tried at all.
>She gently, but quickly, puts the snake back in her bags
>"Oh no," she says in a falsely sad voice. "Boo hoo hoo, I didn't guess your fetish. Well I'll be back tomorrow."
Will you tell me what this is all about now? You're acting weird.
>She ignores you and quickly pulls a book out of her saddlebag
>While flipping through it, she mutters hurriedly "Page nine, page nine, got to find page nine."
Did you even hear me? I said that you're acting weird. That YOU'RE acting--
>"There!"
>She opens up to page nine, pulls a rubber stamp out of her saddlebag, and stamps something on the page
>The stamp reads 'Bump'
>The pages magically flip backwards until the book is back to the first page
>Fluttershy heaves out a sigh of relief
>"That was close," she says, seemingly to herself.
>She starts walking away
>"I can't be late like that again."
>You stand there, confused
I'll probably never know what that was all about.
>Maybe things will be normal again tomorrow

a repost, because i'm gay and homophobic

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>>40975920

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>Be Anon
>You were on your way to Pinkie Pie's place; you were going to spend the day together; you actually spent the day together with her; you enjoyed her company so much that you bothered to learn her name.
>She said she had a bunch of plans for the day. She really wanted to get them all done, and then when the day was about to wind down, she and you were going to make cupcakes. What a strange ending activity? But you didn't mind. >But you were happy none the less; the other ponies never seemed to really get you, but Pinkie always lent her ear to listen to your insane ramblings, and you were forever grateful for that.
> When you first arrived here and saw everyone was so intimated by your presence, the thoughts of them rejecting you hurt your heart, thinking you couldn't find happiness here either, but it was that silly pink pony who came with an overbaring smile that came to help you, wanting to see your smile instead of your tears. She really was magical to you. You do worry if you're a little overbearing sometimes, but she never seemed to mind how much you talked to her. She is always up for games and parties. She seemed to love the attention from you, but you always worried.
>Finally reaching the pink ponies home, she stepped out with a bright smile, however, she seemed a mess; her hair was a little frazzled. She seemed to have light bags under her eyes, yet she was so happy to see you; she had the energy of Cheeta, who just drank a monster.
"Had a fight with the hair drier pinkie?"
>You said it jokingly as she looked in the window, realizing just how much of a mess she actually was. "Whoopsie, I guess I did." She said it with a feverish giggle.
>You ask her if she's doing okay. She looks tired. She sprung around, taking Anon's hand, trying her best not to worry. "Don't worry, bestie, I'm still all set for today... I just had to do a lot of work last week. Sorry, I'm such a mess."
>You feel really worried. She would usually use a joke to brush aside things like this, but she seemed to have something on her mind.
"Hey, if you need today off, we can always do our thing tomorrow."
>Her eyes widen as she shouts. "NOOO!" Before she catches herself. "I mean... no, please. I really need to spend the day with you, anon, please..."
>You reluctantly agree. Even though she doesn't seem like herself, you were going to spend the day together. She invites you inside, grabbing a cupcake off the table and asking for you to try it. You do eat it, and it shockingly tastes really good. You wonder what's inside.
"Hey Pinks, what's inside this? It's really good."
>"Oh nothing too crazy—apples, candy, flour, milk cream, strawberry frosting, my urine—combined with some heavy muscle relaxers that could knock out a bear."
>Pinkie looking at you with a wide smile as you fall to the floor. The last thing you see is the small pink horse slowly walking over to you as the world goes dark.

>>40990847
>Be Pinkie Pie.
>You finally have him all to yourself. He's all yours. Finally, you can taste him. You're tempted to just taste him here, but no, you can't yet. He has to be prepped, just like any good ingredient. Pulling him down the stairs was quite the task. He's so heavy, but so sexy at the same time. You can't wait to have him inside you.
>You always had feelings for this stupid monkey. But he never caught on to your advances. You could never forgive him for that. You tried so hard to spell it out to him that it started to drive you crazy. Your dreams turned into nightmares that someone else would steal him right from under your nose. That's why you had to rush today, you stupid mare. You could have ruined everything, but lucky for you, he's always had such a sweet heart, caring about you. That's why he's going to taste so sweet, both when you ride him and when you bake and eat him.
>His love will be truly sweet. Strapping him to the table, he stirs in his sleep. You have to look perfect for when he wakes up. You quickly go upstairs. And get dressed in that little number Rarty made for you. It's so lewd, but you finally found the perfect use for it.
>Be Anon
>You slowly stir in your sleep, unaware of what is going on. You wake up strapped to a table with surprisingly strong bindings. What the fuck is going on? Also, why are you naked with what looks to be frosting covering your cock?
Suddenly, a loud door noise echos through the quiet basement. Soft hoofsteps echo as what looks to be. What the fuck? It's Pinkie; her hair is perfectly straight and shimmering. Her eyes are bright and beautiful. What the fuck is she wearing? It's black lingerie with stockings tied to a black corset; does the panty's have a heart where cover where the pussy should be? What the fuck?
"Pinkie, what the fuck is going on? Why are you wearing that? Why am I naked? WHY IS MY DICK COVERED IN FROSTING!?"
>She giggles at you, her eyes seductively staring at you with a hint of crazyness inside them. 'Oh, anon, you never caught onto me; you never knew just how much I loved you. Look at me, Anon; I'm absolutely crazy for you!"
>Horror is etched on your face as she rubs her hoofs all over you. She is rubbing her pink, wet slit against your cock. "All I ever wanted was your love, anon; all I truly wanted from the moment we met was to be with you, and now we're going to be together forever, because once I'm done riding you, I'm going to make you into a cupcake proper, and soon your soul will be inside me so you can never leave me again.
>The thought races through your mind. She's serious about how she's really going to kill you, but if she really is going to kill you, then you're going to at least tell her your true feelings.

>>40990901
"Pinkie pie, if it will make you happy to kill me and eat me, then I guess I can't fight you, but at least hear me out before I go, and I will comply with you."
>Her eyes and ears perk up to hear your last words.
"Pinkie, I always had feelings for you, you were the first pony I ever met here who made me feel welcomed who made me feel like I belong your absolutely wonderful friend, the reason I was worried about making a move I was worried about what the other ponies would think of you, I mean I'm not like anything else here, by all rights of consideration I'm even on the same level of rights as pony, I didn't want to negatively effect your life by being apart of it, I didn't want you to get looks, or have your family disown you cause you fell in loved with me, I wanted to be you more than anything but It's not like I'm the most popular thing in town everyone saw me as werid and out of place I didn't want to bring that on to you, I didn't want to hurt you because I felt like being selfish and giving my love to somepony to only hurt them."
>The words affect the pink pony strangely, and tears fall down her face before
Her pupils dilate in size. She starts to uncontrollably laugh; it's unnatural and unhinged. She can't find the words; she falls off the operating table laughing.
>"You stupid idiot!" She says she is almost frustrated. "You think I would care about any pony rejecting our relationship? You think I wouldn't stick up for you every time someone asks about us?!" She says this as she is panting, almost in full anger. "I think this whole time I've been worried about somepony else taking you, but no, it was your idiotic love that truly kept me on edge; you kept me at a distance because you worried about my well-being." She climbs back on the table, grabbing your face with her front hoofs. "I could fucking kill you right now, just for how stupid that set of logic is... But I can't, not because I don't want to, but because you really do love me. You have for so long and never told me, you stupid idiot. She plants a kiss on your lips, realizing she has already spent too much time doing all this. It wouldn't be long before everypony would find out where the two of you were, and she would be caught and tried for her crimes. "I wish we had more time," she says as the door to the basement suddenly makes a loud thump. "Wait for me... We will meet again..." She whispers in your ear before running. Toward an entrance to a tunnel, she dug it, and as she leaves through it, the tunnel closes off via a trigger as several royal guard members break down the door. While searching the room, only you know the truth. You tell a lie to cover Pinkie; one day you will meet with her again.

>>40990943
https://ponepaste.org/9950 Here's the pone paste with some error's fixed.

>>40991019
I wanted to write more, but getting used to 4chan's formatting is weird, it's something I will have to get used too for writing stories.

>>40990964
>with some error's fixed
You fixed the lines that you meant to make greentext but did not when you originally posted it. I'm glad you did that.

In English, you do not spell errors as "error's." I noticed similar mistakes in your writing that were like this. Are you ESL?

>>40991099
>I wanted to write more
You wrote three posts worth of greentext in about an hour. That's pretty good. If you were writing directly in the reply box though, then I would suggest you stop doing that. Use some kind of writing software, like Google Docs or something. Write your story, then convert it to greentext, if you haven't done so yet, and then post it here in chunks. This way, you can catch your mistakes before posting your story (in theory) and you can make your green lines look nice and short.

That way you don't get the super long lines you started your story with, like this one:

>She said she had a bunch of plans for the day. She really wanted to get them all done, and then when the day was about to wind down, she and you were going to make cupcakes. What a strange ending activity? But you didn't mind. >But you were happy none the less; the other ponies never seemed to really get you, but Pinkie always lent her ear to listen to your insane ramblings, and you were forever grateful for that.

If we break this down to a more familiar greentext style, it might look like this:

>She said she had a bunch of plans for the day.
>She really wanted to get them all done, and then when the day was about to wind down, she and you were going to make cupcakes.
>What a strange ending activity? But you didn't mind.
>But you were happy none the less; the other ponies never seemed to really get you, but Pinkie always lent her ear to listen to your insane ramblings, and you were forever grateful for that.

The lines are still a little long this way, but I think it reads better than posting it as a big chunk.

However, if that big chunk from earlier suggests anything to me, it's that you really seem to prefer the paragraph style of traditional prose writing.

The good news is that other writers here on the board have written like this before.
Let's take some inspiration from two good writers, anonpencil and Jazzteeth.

https://poneb.in/jKmUcu8R
https://poneb.in/Aeg40BFJ

I don't know how other anons in the thread feel, but if greentext formatting is too weird for you, I wouldn't mind at all if you felt more comfortable writing in a style like this and posting it here, provided of course you make the format more pleasing to look at.

As for your story itself, I thought it was okay. It had potential, but the story felt rushed and there were a lot of mistakes in the writing. However, I am being honest when I say that it had potential. It's just that all the interesting stuff happened at the end, and it happened too fast for me to feel anything.

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>>40991331
To end on a bright spot, this line made me laugh:

>"Oh nothing too crazy—apples, candy, flour, milk cream, strawberry frosting, my urine—combined with some heavy muscle relaxers that could knock out a bear."

A classic, Flutterrape way for Pinkie to tell you she just drugged you. That's great. If you can come up with more of that, then you're on your way. Give yourself a little more time, treat your writing with a little more care, and you can make something really cool for the thread. I know it.

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>>40991331
>>40991355

Thank you anon, that will help me alot, cause I do wanna continue this story, but yeah I was in a rush do to the fact I was bother by the prose writing, It's tricky but I'm not against learning it. I just got to get used to the style. I think If I tackle it one sentience at a time, I will avoid too many error. I love pinkamena, I love taking a mess and trying to bring life back into them, both waifus and my real life relationships reflect this.

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>Be Anon
>You are just adjusting to life in Ponyvile and getting used to the day-to-day after that crazy wedding with Shining Armor and Princess Cadence.
>That one changeling was on your mind; what was her name, Queen Chrysalis? She was something; you only caught the end of the whole event.
>You wondered about her before she was banished, and you and she traded glances. You wonder if you ever met that; what was she called a Changeling, right?
>You pester Twilight with books about her and the changelings. She gave you looks when you mentioned how she was quite the looker.
>"Anon, you're not thinking about looking for her, are you?" She asks you, giving you a glare, "You saw what she did at the wedding; if I catch you using these books irresponsibly, you are banned from his library for a week."
>I was annoyed by the words you responded with.
"No twilight; I won't read these books irresponsibly. God damn woman... I make one compliment to her, and suddenly you get all jealous.
>Her twists around—she almost looked like she was going to smack you with the book. "Jealous, I will let you know. I'm quite conformable with my marehood, and I don't get all riled up when a friend of mine is interested in another girl."
"Uh-huh, just give me the damn books, your book nerd."
>With an exasperated sigh, she turns around and hands the books over to you. "Just remember to return them, mister, in the condition they were handed to you in.
>You look over the books quickly before pointing out.
"What, no pictures?"
>She gives you a scowling look. "If you want pictures, you can go to the kids section on much safer material not involving the enemies of equestria."
"Fine, god damn, it was just a joke." You say annoyed. "Pain in my goddamn ass."
"What was that?!" she asks with a growl. "Nothing!" You say before finally leaving.
>Making your way home, as the pegasi form the clouds for a rainy night, you quickly dart home, your little shack that's near the ever-free forest, you live pretty near Fluttershy too, and you wave her good night as you start on your research on these strange creatures known as changelings.
>You pan over the words with an almost other worldly gee; the book's covers them, but it's lacks more interesting details.
>You want to know more personal things about these creatures, especially their queen. You find one page actually depicting her.
>You want to know more, so you want to use the laptop you brought over when you came to this world. Going under your bed, you pull out your special case, but when you go to open it, your laptop is missing.
>You pan over the words with an almost other worldly gee; the book's covers them, but it's lacks more interesting details.
>You want to know more personal things about these creatures, especially their queen. You find one page actually depicting her.

>>40991805
>You want to know more, so you want to use the laptop you brought over when you came to this world. Going under your bed, you pull out your special case, but when you go to open it, your laptop is missing.
>Looking over the book, I remember a certain passage about how changelings choose their targets.
>It reads as such: "Changelings will use various personal effects of the pony they plan on replacing or using for love to better mimic their target's desires." Huh, well, that's odd; most of what's on there are just pictures of humans and his web browser. The thought of changelings trying to mimic is kind of funny now.
>You want to know more, so you want to use the laptop you brought over when you came to this world. Going under your bed, you pull out your special case, but when you go to open it, your laptop is missing.
>Looking over the book, I remember a certain passage about how changelings choose their targets.
>It reads as such: "Changelings will use various personal effects of the pony they plan on replacing or using for love to better mimic their target's desires." Huh, well, that's odd; most of what's on there are just pictures of humans and his web browser. The thought of changelings trying to mimic is kind of funny now.
>Be Queen Chrysalis.
>You're tired and frustrated after your defeat at Canterlot. Those pony's brused your beautiful body; it is at least nice to be home at the hive after such a long day.
>You try and relax, but suddenly a loud, anoying buzzing came through. It was one of your loyal Changlings, and he was spouting about how he brought intel from ponyvile and poltnetal items to use against the ponies.
>"Not now, little one; can't you see your queen is deeply tired?" She is lazily relaxing on her throne. "But my queen, this device is from Ponyvile that holds countless knowledge; it's from that strange thing the ponies call the human Anon.
>Your ears perk up slightly. That strange creature who only showed up in the end, before your defeat by Cadence's hand, you wonder, did he have a role in your defeat as well? He sure stared at you while you made your amazing speech.
>"Bring the device here." She demands it, and Changling quickly sets it down on the laptop. However, she looks over it, wondering how you even turned on this strange thing.
>"Is it power by magic?" She's trying her magic, but it doesn't respond. "Curses..." She hisses under her breath. "It would have to be like this; she had no choice; she would need the human to help her. "Hmm, what do humans look like? She only has him to go by."
>She will just have to wing it by anon's appearance, she supposed. "All be back, my Changelings, and when I come back, we will have Equestrian's demise in our grasp!"
She's going towards the human's place, disguising herself as a "female human," or at least her idea of one.

>>40991805
>>40991913
These posts gave me cancer.
atleast glance through your fucking shit before posting.

>>40991944
Yeah, I'm going to just go by pone-paste, cause this ain't working.

>>40992005
It’s okay anon I’m sure you’ll get it figured out eventually

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Here is a useless Flutterrape oddity for today: MDL had a FimFic account at some point.
He only ever uploaded one story, but here it is:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/200649/1/rainbow-dash-is-so-not-a-virgin/and-she-will-prove-it

Because I have no life, I noticed right away that the above story was a rewrite of this:
https://poneb.in/zB5FdqHW

Why did he never upload any more of his greens to Fimfic? We'll never know now. But it does make me think about all those Flutterrape writers that went and made Fimfic accounts and never told us.
you know who you are, but more importantly I know who you are too

>>40992813
I know Neb and SwiftMonkey made fimfics, I never looked up many of the others.

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>"Don't look at her, Anon. Look at me."
>"Flutterpussy is temporary, strength is eternal."
>"You're stronger than her, seek the ultimate power!"

>>40993229
Look out, she's gonna sit on you , tiny Goku!

>8

>>40993229
I do like Whiskeypanda’s art a lot

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>Outside, Fluttershy presses her face against his window, her cheeks flat against the glass
>She's licking the middle of the pane suggestively
>You can see Anon in his living room, screaming
Fucking Fluttershy!
>This has been going on for an hour
>Be Lily Longsocks
>A filly that just happens to have super strength--please don't tell any pony about that though
>You've been standing in the street outside that human's house, watching the two of them go back and forth
>Fluttershy kisses the glass
What are you even doing?
>Anon will scream
This is not my fetish, stop this immediately!
>Fluttershy looks up at him and slowly traces the length of the wood frame with her tongue
>Anon screams
Stop it! Ponies are looking at you!
>Fluttershy spits on a particularly smudged part of the window and really rubs it in, smiling up at him
>"You like that, mister?"
I hate that! Why is nobody stopping this mad mare?! Somebody stop her from molesting my window!
>He must not realize that all the vendor ponies have picked up their carts and left for greener, quieter pastures
>Ones that did not smell like musk smudging up against wet glass
Get your fucking ass off my window, Fluttershy!
>She is, in fact, rubbing her fanny and lady all over his window
>Your mom hates dirty words, so that's what you have to call your butt and whoo-ha when you’re at home
My God, is this glass turning yellow?! Why is everyone allowing this degeneracy to go on?!
>This last appeal makes some of the ponies in the street next to you stop to watch
>You have a small crowd of ponies around you now, and you’re all watching Fluttershy wash Anon's window with her ass
>But she doesn't seem to pay you any mind at all
>She's got her eyes closed and is humming Winter Wrap Up, like she's enjoying whatever she's doing to him
Why does my window have to suffer because I refuse to rape you?! Take that collar off immediately!
>She had just put on a pink collar
>The bronze tag, which is heartshaped, said "Anon's Pet" on it
>Once the collar is securely fastened, she continues humming and rubbing her messy butt all over his window
>When her ass moves, her soaked tail drags on the glass behind her like a filthy pink mop
I just cleaned that window yesterday! You could have picked any other window! Just move to another window at this point! Fluttershy! It's been over ten years... Fluttershy!!
>She doesn't listen
>His voice sounds hoarse and strained after screaming for over an hour
Please, Fluttershy, stop this madness! It's lunchtime and I need my nourishment!
>She pulls an apple out from somewhere and starts eating it
You bastard!
>She's smiling, eating the apple and wiping her butt on his window
I can't take this anymore, Fluttershy! I'm only human, I have my limits, and I can't take this abuse anymore! I don't eat, I don't even sleep sometimes--You bastard!
>You see that Fluttershy has set up a hammock between his house and the alley

>>40994093
>She's cut a big hole out in the cloth for her ass to stick out of
>With just one push, her butt can paint his window with plot snot all night now
>All while she takes a comfy snooze
>Which is what she's doing now
Fucking Fluttershy!
>He looks around desperately, trying to find a solution
>Then he sees you
You! You have super strength, don't you?
>You feel everyone's eyes turn from Fluttershy's new window washing system to your freaky filly body
>Fold your ears
Get over here and move my house! Quick, before she wakes up!
>He starts running towards you, and he leaps through his front room window in an effortless duck and roll
>He sticks the landing
>When he stands before you all, he blocks the sun
>He looks down at you
Move my house!
>You stare up at him for a moment, then trot the heck away!
HEY!!! Get back here and move my fucking house!
>Guess you shouldn't have watched him that long
>You spend the rest of your day denying it every time some pony brings up your super strength
>And...
Look, do you want me to rape you?! Are you like her?! Will you move my house then, you sick fuck?! You bastard!
>All while you run away from
>Fucking Anon

sorry about that deleted post, thought of some new stuff at the last minute, and I don't know how to bump, lel

>>40992898
Project100 has an empty account that he hasn't been on in, like, six years

>>40994111
>plot snot
groddy
Nice story Anon

>>40994146
Did he write 808?

Off 10

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If your post number ends with 5, you have to post your fetish.

>>40995607
lol
lmao even
nice try fluttershy, I'll roll and i still won't get 5.

>>40995607
no reveal from me.

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>>40996184
>One off
Consider yourself lucky.

>>40995607
Let's roll baby.

>>40994660
>808
bruh, check out this Fagdood
https://poneb.in/80pmE4Hk

>>40996340
808 was pretty good, but I remember not liking some of the later stuff

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>>40995607
You'll have to pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

>>40995607
What a foolish wager. Very well, I suppose have time to humiliate you.
>Verification not required.

>>40995607
NO FRIEZA! DONT DO IT!

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>>40995607
Fuck yeah gambling gang LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ONE CHANCE, SHY, ONE CHANCE

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>>40997252
HAHA WHO WON THE LOTTERY? I DID
NOT TODAY, YELLOW EQUINE

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keep gambling

>>40997320
Well if you say so

>>40997320
No way, fag

>>40993229
Goku its not helping ur standing right infront of her fat cheeks.

>>40995607
If i lose i will hunt down the yellow horse with a Garand, but not the Apple horse, she scare me so.

>>40996382
It's been a while for me. I remember the mane 6 having their own movie. That was funny. Derpy was pretty cute too, from what I recall.

>>40997789
Yeah I just remember not liking when it got to the point that Anon's roommate was dating Fluttershy just to help her fuck with him.

>>40997834
lel, yeah, pretty much. Evil Fluttershy was a big thing back in the old days. I blame Jibber. Nobody would ever kill one of the mane 6 in one of their greens today. Probably not in any thread, actually. Waifufags would tear them apart.

>>40997320
Not without some stackes from your part, Shy. Leaving me alone for a month, for example?

Took a look at ThatHappyGuy's bin today and I only just realized how fucking huge Anon and Brainon is. I added up the word counts (according to ponebin) of each of the story's chapters.

According to ponebin, the story is about 157,948 words. And he still never finished it.
To put that in perspective, in its current form on FimFiction, Exchange is 199,567 words--and that's including the extra chapters that were added after the fact.
If Happy had ever written a few more chapters, he would have caught up to that easily. That's a lot of horse words.

Also, go read the first chapter of Anon and Brainon; it's a classic one shot in its own right:
https://poneb.in/AHVQxQ3v

>>40995607
Feck off.

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>>40997855
>"Good morning, Anon! Is Rastafarian proselytizing your fetis--"
>Fluttershy's head explodes, and her corpse slumps to the grass before your doorstep.
>You rack your shotgun and squint at the body for a moment.
>Its back leg twitches restlessly.
>You blink.
"Holy pancakes, Fluttershy, you startled me! You good?"
>Fluttershy's neck-stump squirts a bit of blood.
"Well, crumbs, my girlfriend always said keeping a gun in the house was dangerous. Now look what's happened!"
>You sigh and set the gun leaning against the wall of your house.
>With a grunt, you hoist the body into your arms.
"Looks like you're going on the compost heap, old girl. At least you'll be useful for something, eh? Haha, Anon, you card..."

>Later that night, you're reading the paper.
>Then Fluttershy explodes out of your floorboards covered in green slime and coughing.
>"Th-thank goodness, you're okay! Anon! There are changelings EVERYWHERE! They've invaded Ponyville and snatched everyone's bodies like some sort of... of, Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) starring Donald Sutherland! I only just escaped the hive with my life, but I think they might already have replaced me!"
>You rack your shotgun, which you had been keeping on your lap.
"I KNEW keeping a gun in the house was a good idea!"
>"Hooray, firearms!"
"God bless America."
>And then you went out to fight the changelings with Fluttershy.
>Donald Sutherland was there too, but don't worry about it.

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late night boop

>>40999336
I don't understand why Anon was so startled by Rastafarian proselytizing. Reggae music is so relaxing.
Other than that it was a funny green.
no, wait, why was Donald Sutherland there? I hate HiE stories

>>40995607
good thing I never get 5s

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>>40999745
got one
you know what that means

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>>40999745
such a boner
how embarrassing...

>>40999751
Can I just let frieza destroy the planet instead?

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>>40999756
tell me your fetish now, monkey.

>>40999760
Well if I have to... my fetish is sweaty mares

>>40999777
>Those numbers
mare sweat confirmed to be the most delicious ambrosia known to man
just one taste of a mare's sweat, and you'll be hooked
you'll be begging twilight to make you mare sweat saltlicks by the end of the week

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>>40999777

>>40999745
You flew too close to the sun anon

>>41000215
Mein gott, she’s growing too powerful.

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I’m gonna send this to Flutters to freak her out

>>41000489
>Flutters sees this
>Fears what Anon may do if he grows too powerful
>Nopony believes her
>Takes it upon herself to >rape Anon to save the world

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Confound these little horsies.

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>TFW not on Pg 7.

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>>40999777
i like your taste

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>>40999760
I like older mares

>>41001090
Do you think Vegetaposter is gonna have a jobber crisis when his and Applejack’s kid surpasses him power level wise?

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>>41001604
THIS IS A PREPOSTEROUS NOTION AND I HATE YOU FOR IT!!

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>>41001608
>"You know there is only one right answer, sugarcube..."

>>41001667
Get back to your apple stall. You can't feed your family from your hornyness. Broke flanked mud horse.

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>>41002057

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I sometimes find Flutterrape stuff on FimFiction. I might start posting some of the ones I find here.
I read this one today; it's funny:

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/555307/fluttershy-wants-ugh-you-already-know

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late night boop

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Getting raped by a horse would actually be pretty terrifying, you know.

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Damn Flutterrape is genuinely still a thing. I posted in these threads a few short stories in like 2013-14. Aviator Anon here. Unlikely to reply anything further because I've literally spent the last hour trying to figure out this Captcha slider shit and can't

>>41003119
What's up, man. I see your name all the time in the author list.
We're as dead as the rest of the fandom but we hang in there. I write stuff sometimes, other people write stuff sometimes.

Pretty sure Nebulus and Jchallo are still here now and again, but I can't say for sure about everyone else. New writers come and go. There was an awesome story about Inky Rose of all ponies that came out of nowhere last winter and stole my heart. Real Driverbang type shit, it can still happen sometimes. Makes me glad.

Went back and read this of yours just now, the ending is hilarious:
https://poneb.in/WNqFMy6P

Kudos for all you've done for us. Thanks for the visit and don't forget to poni poni!
you get used to the slider after a bit, lel

>>41003272
Ah yes, a decade and a half of alcoholism I maintain til this very day. It helps when Paddy's is your birthday and everyone buys you free drinks as you pub crawl for the day. Ya know a Paddy's day pub crawl is the best thing to get you in the mood to write horse rape stories.

>>41003355
Well as long as you’re having a good time

Can’t I just hire a human jiggalo to fuck fluttershy? She desperately needs to get laid and stop bothering me

>Day you lost count because it was too fun in Equestria
“What?”
>Wake up and do the triple-s combo
“That’s it?”
>You shrug it off and go downstairs
“That’s what you’re writing? There isn’t even any punctuation.”
>Eat a bowl of Applejacks
“This is so stupid. Why would Applejacks exist in Equestria? And furthermore, why would they be named after Applejack?”
>Eat it with Applejack Daniels instead of milk because you’re a badass
“What?! This is disgusting. Why am I doing this? Can’t you write me doing something normal?”
>Fluttershy knocks on the door
“Alright, genius, if I’m over here, then how do I know that it’s Fluttershy who’s at the door? What kind of fucking amateur are you?”
>Open the door to reveal Flutterrapist
>herewegoagain.jpg
“Wait, Flutterrapist?
>You go over everything that’s happened in your mind
“Wait a second: no punctuation, derivative and meandering beginnings, references as jokes, filenames as jokes, and now Flutterrapist…
>You’re stuck in an old story
“Uh oh.”
>“Um, Anon, who are you talking to?”
>You decide to ignore her and take in your new (old) surroundings
“Well, at least you gave me quotation marks, and Fluttershy seems to be acting mostly alright.”
>“Um… and chickens are nice, and so are puppies, and giving cute-wittle snugglies to every critter is just so–”
“I’ve spoken too soon. What are you doing, Fluttershy?”
>“I thought we were listing things that we like. Oh, maybe listing things can be your fetish. Should we try some more?”
>You slam the house shut
“Okay, we need to talk–wait, is that the whole Fluttershy encounter? She just shows up and asks me something? That’s all you’re gonna give me!”
>It’s quiet for a while
>You pinch the bridge of your nose
“Now we really need to talk. Look, you probably know me. I’m Anonymous. I’m basically you, just better. And I’ve been in who knows how many stories, so I know the ropes pretty well by now.”
>You walk outside
“Here’s the thing: I don’t know which stories you’ve been reading so far, but writing stories the way you’re doing them doesn’t really fly anymore.”
>At hearing the word “fly,” Rainbro Dash comes cruising by
>“What’s up, Anon? You want to see some sweet new tricks I’ve been working on?”
“Oh, great. I guess I call you Rainbro in this story instead of your actual name, don’t I.”
>“Are you feeling okay? Here, watch this, bro.”
>Rainbro Dash takes off and does a super awesome trick that leaves you in awe
“Not if it’s written that way. Let me tell you something, a lot of those descriptive parts you tend to gloss over–I think you’re really missing out by not challenging yourself to really try and write a vivid scene of Rainbow Dash flying here.”
>Rainbow Dash stops in front of you
>“Woah, Anon, I knew my trick was cool, but you want to write about it?”
>Rainbro blushes and rubs the back of her head

>>41004190
>“Not that I’d want to force it on you or anything, Anon. Writing can be totally cool, you know, when you do it.”
>You roll your eyes
“Let’s skip all this. Dash, I love you. Let’s get married and have the Wonderbolts perform at our wedding.”
>“What?! Seriously? Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Yes!”
>Rainbro gives you a big hug and then flies up into the air to do a goofy victory dance
“That was easy. Now look, I can get behind a unique interpretation of a familiar character, and the show was never going to touch on romance much, but you could at least give Dash some sort of reason for her to have this completely outdated and out-of-character behavior she’s currently got going on. Hot monkey lust alone is not proper enough motivation for her to be acting like this.”
>By this, you mean that Rainbow Dash is currently doing the cabbage patch and singing a song about fucking you
>“Oh yeah! Uh-huh! Gonna suck, Anon’s dick! All night! Oh yeah!”
>Rainbro then flies into the air and does an awesome trick
“Right, you aren’t even listening to me. Well, it’s your loss. I’m sure no one is reading this. There isn’t anything interesting going on in this story at all. It’s not even a story, as far as I can tell. It’s just a bunch of scenes loosely connected by a common theme–which is rape, of course.
“But where’s the driving narrative? Where are the picaresque and evocative descriptions of quaint little Ponyville? Where the hell even am I in this story right now?”
>You are knocked unconscious
>You wake up in the cellar of Sweet Apple Acres
“Oh, perfect.”
>Your limbs are tied
“Now you’ve gone and done it.”
>“Howdy, Anon.”
>Applerapist comes out of the shadows
>“Hope ah didn’t scramble yer noggin too hard when ah hit ya.”
>Upon hearing her accent, you glare
>But not at her
“Oh, you asshole! When has Applejack ever said ‘ah’ instead of I?”
>“Ya alright, sugar cube?”
“No, I'm not alright. I’m trapped in this fucking shit-show of a story when I should be going on some grand adventure across Equestria, or stuck in the middle of a deep interpersonal love triangle.”
>“Oh, ah’ll give you deep.”
“Charming.”
>Applejack gives you bedroom eyes, then shifts her attention to your package
>She licks her lips as her hoof finds the length of your shaft
>“Ah’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout this fer a long time.” Her back legs quiver
“Oh, Applejack, please no.”
>Her muzzle nuzzles your crotch and she gives your cock a couple of tender love bites
>She moans loudly after a long sniff of your manhood
“Oh, now you decide to get a little descriptive.”
>In a flash Applejack rips off your pants.
“Okay, we both know that you’re too damn lazy to sit there and take the time to write a properly enticing sex scene. Let’s just get to my miraculous escape and skip all of this.”

>>41004195
>The door to the cellar bursts open and Rainbro Dash flies in
>“Hey! Get off of my husband!”
>She kicks Applerapist out of the way and frees you
>You run outside
>“Oh man, that was really close. Do you want to see me do an awesome new trick?”
“I’ve had enough of this! This is the kind of story that we’ve certainly evolved beyond, and I demand that you stop writing it right now.”
>“Um, Anon, who are you talking to? Are you okay?”
>“Beats me,” Applejack says. “He was like that when ah was rapin’ him too.”
“Okay, listen up, you may be a bad writer, and green-text fanfiction isn’t high art, but some great stories have been written using the medium. You can do better, and you should. So, I’d like to talk about genre versus fiction for a while, and how I think green-text writing fits into that argument.”
>You’re admitted to the Ponyville hospital for head trauma
“Goddammit.”
>The doctor comes in
>“Hello, Anonymous, my name is Dr. Whooves.”
“Of course it is.”
>“I understand that you’ve been talking to yourself in public lately, and showing certain signs of what may be a growing antisocial behavioral problem.”
“Look, if it was up to me, I would’ve just stayed in the house and let this story run its course. I really don’t belong here, you know.”
>“I see, well I believe we can fix that. Please lie down on the examining table so we can get started.”
>You do so and some iron restraints come out of the table and secure you down
>“Alright, he’s all yours, Nurse Fluttershy.”
>“Thank you, doctor.”
>Fluttershy comes in from the other room
>She’s dressed as a nurse and gives you bedroom eyes
>“Hello, sweetie.”
“You’re here to rape me, right?”
>“No, I’m just showing you my love,” she says as she unbuttons your pants
“Oh, my mistake.
“Well, then, what are you doing here, Twilight?”
>Twilight looks up from her clipboard
>“Taking notes on human mating. Very detailed notes.”
“Of course. And you?”
>Rarity smiles
>“Do you need any clothes?”
>Fluttershy rips your shirt off
“Probably.”
>“Then that’s why I’m here,” she singsongs
“And none of you are going to try and stop any of this?”
>Everyone shakes their heads
“Oh, great, the whole town is full of human-obsessed ponies. For no reason. I realize the irony that exists when I say this, but would it kill you to write a more realistic story?”
>You suddenly enter a more realistic story
>You go to Equestria
>Breathe in the oxygen
>Die of foreign diseases
>You’re dead
>You’re floating up to heaven as a ghost, and you’re very annoyed with the writer
“Okay. So you’ve had your cheap laugh. Do you feel better now? Just bring me back to life already so we can start the next story the right way.”
>Ghost Flutterrapist shows up and locks her legs around you
>“Hi, Anon. Is spooky ghost rape your fetish?”

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>>41004199
>She squeezes your waist with her ghost thighs, her haunted pussy spraying ectoplasm all over your phantom penis
>“G-Gosh!” Fluttershy remarks, looking down at her cum and blushing. “Maybe spooky ghost rape is my fetish…”
“Put me in a real story now!”
>Oh, alright
>Sheesh
>You’re brought back to life in your bed
“Okay, let’s start this story the right way this time.”
>...
>Wake up
>Don’t feel like P. Diddy
“Goddammit, I’ve had enough of you! I’m not doing this anymore, okay? From now on, I’m not going to be cooperating with you at all.”
>You sit down
“I’m just going to sit here in this chair and not do a thing. I don’t care if you bring in a new alicorn princess, or if you start up an epic pony war, or anything like that. I am not going to be your whipping boy anymore.”
>You keep sitting
>Nothing is happening
“See? I’m not doing anything.”
>Flutterrapist knocks at the door, but you ignore it
>Your stomach growls, but you let it
“Yep, I’m not doing anything.”
>You have to go to the bathroom, but you hold it
>You try to think of how many days you’ve been living in Equestria, but then you stop
“I’m ruining all of your plans, aren’t I? How are you doing to get out of this one? Did you even think of an ending when you started writing this story? I bet you didn’t. You’re probably one of those writers who never finishes their stories, aren’t you?
“Well, now you’ll never finish this one. I’ll make sure of it.”
>So you made sure of it
>And that was that
The End
“I hate you.”
>Yeah
>But that’s why it’s so much fun writing about you
>Silly Nonny

wrote this a long time ago and never posted it here, so this one is kinda old

>>41004202
LOL, I like it.
Kinda reminds me of this piece I penned (well, typed) long ago...
>https://poneb.in/6dGajCSc

>>41004050
>jiggalo
*gigolo

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>>41004558
>"I don't care how it's spelled, as long as I get some of that HMD!"

>>41004202
>"Ain't I a stinker?"
"Damn it Pinkie!"

>>41004202
Good stuff

>>41004293
I had definitely read that before when I wrote this one (think it was around 2016-2017.) I remember not coming up with the Pinkie angle until I reached the end though because I was like "Fuck, how do I end it?"

Anyway, I like this one of yours more:
https://poneb.in/fANuvWvN
>>41004574
Flutterrape always enters my mind at least once whenever I rewatch some Looney Tunes.
Goddamn I love this thread.

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>>41004570
>”Hi Fluttershy, I’m Anon’s friend, Glenn Quagmire. I was going to be to one doing you but Anon neglected to tell me that you were an absolute dumpster fire.”

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>>41002076
>”Oh! I never would’ve thought of using that to figure out Vegetanon’s fetish! Thanks for the training Son Gokunymous!”
“Hey no problem! I hope when you find out his fetish, you share it with me! I’m starving!”
>”Oh son Gokunymous! You’re a card!”

>>41004293
Always nice to see your old stuff

Could anyone please enlighten me how the heck do you search for multiple tags on ponepaste? I tried coma, underscore, brackets, literaly anything i could think of. And everytime it just searches as if it was a long string of characters, instead of seperate tags.
Is it even possible to do that?
Please help!

>>40986987
>Chrysalis attempts to mimic a female human
>she's only ever seen a man
>you try to guide her in terms of shape and detail, but it's like a man was squeezed into a vague hourglass shape
>the hands and jawline are also a dead giveaway
>applying makeup and longer eyelashes only makes the result frightening
>her inability to properly copy a woman becomes an obsession
>she starts popping up suddenly in unexpected places, trying to see if she's finally got it right
>now there's a monster in every closet and around every corner, mocking your loneliness
Is endless body horror your fetish?

>>41005716
Yeah, I've never figured it out either. I don't think the search works.
You'd have better luck asking in here >>40910778

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>>41004884
>>41005465

>Knock-knock-knock...
>"Special delivery!"
>Well, that wasn't who you were expecting this morning.
>Thank goodness.
>You open the door to find a grey pegasus mare with a golden mane hovering on your porch.
>You thought you recognized that voice.
"Hey, Derpy Hooves! How's it going?"
>You extend a hand towards her and she meets it with her hoof, leading to the complex hoof-bump, high-five routine that you always do when you meet her.
>"Wow, you're in good spirits today, Anon!"
"I am! It's almost Noon, and there's been no visit from my daily tormentor! I think she may have finally got the hint!"
>Derpy gives you a questioning look, but you don't really want to answer any questions about your personal stalker.
"So what have you got for me, sweetie?"
>Derpy blushes at "sweetie" and reaches into her mail sack, pulling out a large parcel wrapped in brown paper, and addressed to you.
>"I uh... ahem. I have a special delivery for you, you have to sign for it, please."
"Well all right, mail flight!"
>Yeah, you're definitely in a good mood when you're busting cheesy rhymes like that.
>You notice that the package is simply addressed, "To: Anon".
>Also that there is no return address.
>And it seems suspiciously heavy.
>You wonder how Derpy managed to single-handedly lug it all the way here.
>You give it an experimental shake, and are rewarded with a soft, "Eep!"
/Ah, so it's like that, is it?/
>You take the parcel and set it inside, then turn to take the pen and clipboard that the mailmare is offering you.
>"Just sign right there, Anon," she tells you, pointing to a space on her form.
"Sure thing cutie-pie. That's a pretty heavy package, I'm impressed by your stamina, delivering it here in this heat."
>Derpy takes off her hat and wipes her brow, blushing at your flattery.
>"Aw, I've handled heavier things than that. One time, somepony tried to mail a piano-"
"Do you have any more deliveries to make today?"
>"Nope. That was the last one."
"Really? Would you like to come inside and have a drink?"

1/3

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>>41005951

>"Thanks, but I really should get-"
"Aww, c'mon, I just want to thank you for all your hard work."
>Derpy hovers in place, considering, then a smile spreads across her face.
>"Well, all right. I am REALLY thirsty."
>She touches down and walks inside your home as you step aside to let her in.
"Thanks for accepting my invitation, I could really do with some company today."
>You close the door and walk to your kitchen to get Derpy a drink.
"What would you like? I have milk, tea, juice?"
>"Just water would be fine, thanks. I can't stay too long."
"Water it is, my dear."
>You fetch a glass and add some ice, then fill it from the tap.
"Here you go, sweet thing!"
>You hand her the glass.
>"Thanks!"
>THUMP!
>"What was that?"
"Just the wind, I expect. Anyhow, are you sure you can't stay long?"
>The mailmare takes a deep drink of the water you gave her.
>"That hit the spot. Yeah, I really should get back to my daughter, she'll be getting home from school, soon."
"Oh? I didn't know you had a daughter."
>"Yep," she says proudly, "and she is the apple of my eye, since her father left."
>This comes as a surprise to you.
>You hadn't heard of marital problems in Equestria before.
"Oh. Sorry to hear about her dad, you must be awfully lonely."
>"Well, I do have my daughter, so not so much. He was kind of a jerk, but she has his eyes."
"Still, no one else to cuddle at night?"
>Thump, thump, THUD!
>"What was that?"
"Oh, looks like the package you brought me fell over."
>"Oh, I hope it wasn't fragile."
"I'm pretty sure it isn't."
>As she takes another drink of water, you reach across the table and gently take hold of one of her forehooves.

2/3

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>>41005954

>She blushes slightly, looking at you.
"You know, I don't think ponies appreciate you enough. Here you are, working in this heat to bring them their mail, and I'll bet most of them don't even say thanks."
>"W-well, they c-certainly don't usually invite me inside and give me a drink-"
>You nod sympathetically, patting her hoof.
"And such a sweet face too. You know, I really admire you, working hard to provide for your daughter like this."
>Thump... thump, thump, thump, THUMP!
>"There it is again!"
"I'm certain I have no idea what's making that noise. I'll bet your back must be tired and sore, isn't it?"
>You get up, and move around the table.
>"Well, maybe a little..."
"Would you like a back rub?"
>THUMP! THUMP!
>A shy grin spreads across Derpy's face.
>"Y-you would do that? For me?"
"I sure would! A cutie like you deserves to be able to unwind and relax after a tough day working in this heat."
>"Wow, uh... thanks. I suppose... I could stay a bit longer."
"I'm so pleased to hear it! You just relax, and let me take care of you."
>THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!!
>"You're so nice, thank you so much."
>You rub your hands together and proceed to gently knead her withers, and she coos appreciatively.
>"Wow, those fingers of yours are something magical, Anon."
"I know they are."
>You hit a sore spot, and she moans as you work the knot out of her muscles.
"If you'd like, you could come by every day, and I'd help you deal with the stress of the day."
>"R-really? Ooh, yeah, right there..."
>RRRRRRIP!!!!
>"You get away from him, you... you... HUSSY!"
>Derpy jumps in alarm as the package in your entryway practically explodes, styrofoam packing peanuts flying everywhere, revealing Fluttershy.
>"WHAT in the Wide World of Equestria?!!"
"Oh my, that IS a special delivery!"

3/4 (yes, I miscounted)

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>>41005960

>She may be yellow, but she is currently green with envy.
>"Keep away from him you trollop! He's MINE!"
"No, I'm not."
>"You can't MAIL yourself!"
>Ah-ha, you had suspected there might be a rule about that.
>Fluttershy immediately deflates, realizing that she is busted.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk. For shame, Fluttershy."
>Derpy, now filled with righteous indignation at the violation of the sanctity of her oath as a mailmare, flies up to the yellow pegasus.
>"The Postmaster will hear of this! At the very least, I'm certain there will be additional postage due! Also, the package wasn't properly marked, nor ventilated for live cargo... just WHAT were you thinking?"
>"Er... well... that is... I..."
>"You come with me to the Post Office RIGHT NOW, young lady!"
>Fluttershy whimpers, her mane falling across her eyes.
>Derpy turns to you.
>"It looks like I'm going to have to take a rain check on that back rub, Mr. Anonymous, but thank you for your hospitality and..."
>Derpy leans forward and stuffs a small, hastily-scrawled note into the pocket of your shirt.
>"Call me..." she whispers in your ear with a shy smile.
>You return the smile.
"Thanks, you have no idea what this means to me."
>Her smile broadens and she gives you a wink.
>Then she turns to Fluttershy, a stern expression on her face, all business.
>"You're coming with me. No ifs, ands, or buts. Move it."
>Fluttershy seems resigned to her fate, and meekly follows Derpy out the door of your cottage.
"See you tomorrow, Derpy."
>You close the door, and lean against it, sighing with relief.
>It was probably a bit mean to use Derpy to wind up Fluttershy like that.
>You'll have to be extra nice to Derpy for a while to make up for it.
>But at least you're not...
>Fucking Fluttershy.

END

>>41005966
Thanks for the green anon

I found this last night and I fucking love it.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/545454/heat-season

It's sadly incomplete, but the guy ain't dead so maybe he'll finish it. So far it's just got the ponies scheming to get in Anon's pants but, trust me, it's fucking kino.

>>41006417
Thank you for sharing it.

>Day of no surprises in Equestria
>Thank god that horrible pink rapist agreed to leave you alone today; Pinkie Promised
>She's a million times worse than Fluttershy ever was, that poor little yellow pony can't even compete anymore
>Pinkie is just on another level
>You wake up to the fresh morning aroma of no nasty pink mare musk
>The bed isn't cramped for a change
>She usually sneaks her way into it sometime during the night
>Your alarm clock hasn't gone off yet, and you relish the few minutes of sleep you have left
>Then you feel something warm and ticklish on your neck and ear
>You hum and rub the affected spots, but again you feel the warmth; it's like someone is breathing on you
>And then you hear a familiar giggle
>A whisper: "Nonny."
>You jump and quickly sit up
>Pinkie is curled up next to you in bed, a playful smile on her face and her lust staining your sheets, bunched up between her two pink thighs
>"Hi."
>Your alarm clock goes off, but the ring has been replaced by... Pinkie's singing
>'Here comes the morning sun, it's time to have some fun'
>There are brief kazoo interludes at the end of each verse
>'Time for you to be alive, i'll follow you until you die'
You replaced my alarm. How did you even do that?
>'My cupcakes are really sweet, but my pie just can't be beat'
>She winks and nudges you. "That's a double entendre."
I know.
>'Wake up sleepyhead, it's time to give you head'
This is terrible, Ponk. You promised me you weren't going to pull this shit today.
>She gasps
>"You think I broke a Pinkie Promise!?"
>She makes her eyes shimmer innocently and places her hooves over her chest
>"Gee, Nonny. I promised that you wouldn't see me for the rest of the day once you got out of bed. And since you're not out of bed yet, then that means that ol' Pinkie Pie found herself a loophole.
>"And instead of just telling you about it--because come on, Nonny, that's no fun--I decided I'd just surprise you with it instead."
>She smiles, and you hear a squeeing sound wheeze in the air around her
>"So... did you like your surprise?"
No.
>“Aw.”
Also, your song rhymed head with head.
>"Oh. I'm glad that's the part that caught your attention."
>She starts giving you the ol’ rape eyebrows, she’s raising them up and down and they move like they’re hairy pink waves
>You jump out of bed, with her in hot pursuit
>She pounces towards your dick, but you turn your body slightly and watch her dive right through your second floor window
>You look out in the street, where she landed
>See her just get up off the ground without a scratch, brushing shards of glass off of her coat and out of her mane like it was nothing
>Man, what is that pony made of?
>Your insurance is really going to enjoy having to replace this window because of Pinkie
>Again...
>"I'll see you tomorrow, Nonny. Come on, Gummy!"
>You hear some rustling from behind you
>When you peer over your shoulder, the alligator crawls out of your underwear drawer

>>41006865
>He stares at you, blinks each eye once, and then swallows a pair of your undies before following his crazy owner and jumping out the window
>Pinkie catches him in her arms, then pets him down along his back lovingly
>"Let's go get you your breakfast laxatives, Gummy. We gotta get those sexy human panties out of your tummy and into my mouth!"
>The song on your alarm clock starts over
>'Here comes the morning sun, it's time to have some fun'
>You take the song to heart, particularly after you've shut it off
>Pinkie isn't going to be around anymore today
>You're free!
>You look at your broken window
>A shard of glass falls out and shatters into a million pieces on the floor
>You ignore it because you're free
>Free!
>You perform the triple S without interruption
>No pink blob oozes out of the shower head when you turn it on
>There isn't a scuba hose sticking out of your toilet tank
>And you apply your shaving cream with joy knowing full well it hasn't been replaced by whipped cream this time
>You get dressed and smile when you open your closet door and don't get tackled or blasted with confetti
>In fact, you're actually feeling pretty good
>There's a handsome, worry free, confident dude looking at you in the mirror today
>Your stomach growls, and you decide you’re a hungry dude too as you head to the kitchen
>Finally a day where you can open the fridge and know that all your food will be there (and not be replaced with erotic baked goods)
>Then you open the fridge
>And a filthy, food-stained yellow pegasus pony gasps and falls out onto the floor
>Along with all of your food
>Jars break, your gallon of milk begins pouring onto the floor, eggs crack, Fluttershy's butt has smashed all your fruit
>You glare at her, the sudden reminder of your old rapist nearly giving you a coronary
>She meekly looks up at you, with old noodles in her mane and lemonade pooling between her thighs
>God, you hope that's lemonade
>"Um, Pinkie said that you like surprises. So I hid myself in your fridge to surprise you."
>She smiles, already knowing that she can't salvage this, and says:
>"Were you surprised?"
>Grab her by the mane and toss her in the trash can
>Or you try to anyway, her butt's too big to fit in it like she used to be able to
>So she just bounces off of the rim and falls forward in a pile of garbage that spills out onto the floor with her
You didn't ruin all my food, did you?
>"Is that a no, you weren’t surprised?" She looks up at you through mane that’s sticky with pasta noodles
Shit, I gotta go grocery shopping now cause of your ass
>"Anon, none of the grocery stores are open today."
>Raise an eyebrow at her and she tells you about some holiday that of course has a dumb horse pun for a name
Are you telling me all the stores are closed?
>"Actually, now that you mention it, Sugar Cube Corner is open."
>Nope
>From upstairs you and Fluttershy hear Pinkie's singing again
>'Wake up sleepyhead, it's time to give you head'

>>41006866
>Must have hit the snooze button on accident
>Fluttershy looks at you
>"Oh, she means head, like, your penis."
It's a double entendre.
>"I get it now."
Good. Now get out.
>"... Actually, I'd like to stay, if that's--"
>Gummy flies through the kitchen window, Fluttershy screams when the glass shatters
>From the street, Pinkie shouts: “This way, Fluttershy! Quick, before he gets you!”
>Fluttershy looks from you, to the window, to Gummy, who blinks each eye separately, then back to you
>”A-Actually,” she says, blushing, “I wouldn’t mind if he did get me… You know, with his p-penis–”
>You pick her up and toss her out the window
>Gummy crawls after her
>Sheesh, Pinkie and Fluttershy, both in one morning
>Your insurance is really going to love you when you show up tomorrow
>No surprises there
>Just then you hear coughing outside, hacking, wheezing, followed by a loud expulsion
>“Good boy, Gummy!”
>“P-Pinkie! Are those a pair of Anon’s…?”
>“Yeah-huh. And they even still smell like his weenie. Wanna come over and take turns sniffin’?”
>“Yay!”
>Fucking rapist ponies

ponies be trippin, bruh
bump

>>41006868
Good green anon

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>>41006868
This mare is inescapable...

>>41006417
Wow...
Talk about sexual harassment...

>>41006868
they do indeed be trippin

>>41007158
She’s a menace