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/r9k/ is an imageboard where there are no exact reposts.

1. If you attempt to post something unoriginal, it is not posted, and you are muted temporarily.
2. The time with which you are muted for doubles with each transgression.
3. Each mute time is 2^n in seconds where n is the number of times you have transgressed. So, your mute time doubles each time you fuck up.
4. Backlinks, eg >>1, are not viewed by the robot. So "lolwut" and ">>2 lolwut" are the same post, in the eyes of the robot.
5. Gibberish at the end of a post to force originality may result in mod intervention (no BLOX posts please).
6. Images are NOT included in the filter, only text.
7. Your mute count slowly decreases over time.
8. You cannot post a picture without text.
9. Unicode is blocked. Sorry, too many exploits (Cyrillic letters, etc).
10. Posts require a certain minimum amount of original content in order to be posted.
11. Post sane, real content, well thought out replies, and mutes are unlikely.
12. The original algorithm was designed by XKCD:
http://blag.xkcd.com/2008/01/14/robot9000-and-xkcd-signal-attacking-noise-in-chat/
>>
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All "rate me" and "camwhoring" threads belong on /soc/. Do not ask for or post pictures of yourself or others.

>>>/soc/

girls born in 2008 are legal now. take you pick!
>>
>>83544852
That's assuming everyone is born on new years

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Auld Lang Syne edition

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adwni-Jt8qQ
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>>83544849
Is that a lassie from Azumanga Daioh? Hard to tell.
>>
>>83544874
My mam has that sweetex crap in her coffee it completely ruins the taste of it, no idea why she has it. I bet real sugar is healthier.
>>
Still got days worth of feasting corr
>>
>>83544889
Close. It's anime related, I'll give you a hint it's a very popular Japanese vtuber.
>>
>>83544849
Red haired lassie from Lucky Star is also a possibility.

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Im gaymaxxing, but anal masturbation makes my boyhole hurt and most of times im not attracted to male faces. What do i do?
>t. 26 yo autistic guy, trying to become a gay bottom so my autism doesnt make me die a virgin, gave up on straight sex
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>>83544322
You should be bimaxxing and versmaxxing, to have the most options open, no?
>>
>>83544322
Kek. This dude our here "gaymaxing" because he gave up on trying to get a gf. Like good luck, also never let any dude you trying to fuck know you're prison gay, that shit pisses gays off so damn much
>>
>>83544322
Best girl. I miss Bible Black. I guess I'll have to rewatch it.
>>
>>83544322
first, anal shouldn't hurt and you are probably doing it incorrectly, you need to press out like you're trying to poop, what you're actually doing is relaxing the muscles because your default state is clenched

secondly, why bottom? there is a lot of gay bottoms/switches, don't worry about topping/bottoming too much

lastly, yes men have man faces, ideally you find someone you can connect to you an emotional level that also has an OK body and then you can just ignore the man face part
>>
>>83544322
You're supposed to use lube and not put a monstercock dildo up your ass, retard.

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ughh i hate new years
i have to cope that nothing changed
and that im getting older
japan was fun this year!
i wanna get drunk and cry myself to sleep tonight i think that would be fun
why cant i find anyone who likes me irl
everytime i try to open up to them, after they TOLD me to
they fucking leave me
at least i have internet friends that care i think
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>>
>>83544803
IT IS REAL
stop being mean :c
wwhy do so many people hate me
>>
>>83544803
Yeah i have finally come to the realisation this is all a larp. A very good one mind, almost perfect i mean autist not understanding bpd friend is extremely common i've been there but it comes to a point where you can tell its fake with the level of ignorance unfortunately. Umm but yeah have a good day everyone.
>>
>>83544831
iim not laarping :c
hhow can i prove it idk
mmaybe you think that cuz im a little tipsy??
i drank a lot last night cuz i was
sad and alone
wwhy do you think im pretending !
>>
>>83544846
I mean, you clearly know he isnt treating you well thats normally what keeps the autist trapped, and yet you still want to be his best friend for no reaso other than you dont think he lies and he listens to you. Those just are not enough to create that level of attachment to an online arsehat, even for a very clingy person. I dont know how you could prove it without being rude and asking proof in direct messages or proof of account blocking, so i really think i am at a point where i call it quits in trying probably.
>>
>>83544882
ppplease believe me
ive known him for a couple months too
ii get clingy really easily im being honestt
hhe was in this thread iif thats proof!!
plpease believe me anon iim not larping about thiss im just a really pathetic person
iit hurts what he does to me bbut thhe talks we have when hes niice are rreally fun

>be me
>at a new year's service last night
>join hands together in prayer
>hold my sister-in-law's coworker who've I known for over a year and my older half-brother's
>she's a sperg like myself and we've a lot of things in common
>after letting go of hands, she says: "Your hands are soft."
>I respond with a simple: "Thanks."

What did she mean by saying this time, robots? As I'm a total sperg and I don't want to overthink it anymore after this post.
>>
>>83544885
Anon you need to start greeting her when you see her at church and trying to get into her pants before someone else does

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>Be femoidaloid
>Your entire existence has been perverted and hyper romanticized
>Billboards of naked women on the roads, naked women and victorias secret, bikini models and porn sex ads all over the internet
>almost everyone had access to porn at a young age
>makeup and cosmetics industry prey on female insecurity
>women make up majority of consumer spending
>women lie and say they do makeup for other women
>You are also half retarded and wont be the best at any mental or physical sport or hobby because men are always better
>Live in a liberal nig society that tells you women are just as good as le men while also painting women as women perpetual rape victims
>Society hates you because you cant control being a bpdemon
>Cant be friends with men because they want to fuck you
>Cant be friends with women because they subconsciously hate you
>Your son will inevitably develop the innate oedipus complex and resent you
>Your daughter will hate you for giving birth to her because she was born female
>Your husband will resent you regardless of how you act

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>>83544659
>Billboards of naked women on the roads, naked women and victorias secret, bikini models and porn sex ads all over the internet
You do that by using your sexual value and driving men insane denying them your body
>>
>>83544659
maybe you shouldnt get naked for everyone to see if you dont want to see it on the streets

won't read the rest
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>>83544659
I won't read about women's "problems" which is a complete nothingburger.
>>
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>>83544659
You wont got anon discord girl dont try to act diff
>>
>>83544666
>>83544700
>>83544713
Women are treated like a hivemind you just Get lumped in with other women and blamed for things you didnt do not to mention other anons not caring or taking the post seriously thus proving my point even more
>>83544692
I have no clue what you even mean

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Some pervy nigga is about to get sent to prison for this, holy fuck. Bro, why did you do it? I know you're here.
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>>
>>83544696
>>83544759
Hello, I am posting from the new data center under the East Wing. This is where we're going to store all the nudie pics from Operation Nudie Pics. Edward Snowden will HANG for revealing Operation Nudie Pics!!!!!
t: Trump
>>
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>>83544277
Are men that desperate to see some puss ?
>>
>>83544833
Oh no! Trump is evil! thankyou you are so virtuous! society changed now!
>>
>>83544855
I'll have you know that Operation Nudie Pics is an OBAMA era program, you uneducated clod.
>>
>>83544883
Obama is a saint just like George Floyd! Shut you mouth anon!

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America is so rich and other countries are so poor that America is paying Somalians the equivalent of Somalia's GDP in fraudulent welfare and childcare payments
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>>
>>83544854
I don't even hate jews or Isarel as a nation, but they can fund themselves. Fuck them.
If they want so much support they should just become a US state.
>>
>>83544844
>Admits the problem was already being taken care of
>You're trying to distract from the corruption
You're a caricature
>>
>>83544850
https://apnews.com/article/fox-news-dominion-lawsuit-trial-trump-2020-0ac71f75acfacc52ea80b3e747fb0afe
>>
>>83544862
They don't have any oil to pay us with. I would unironically be okay with that if they did.
Give us your 9B oil or we glass your ass.
>>
>>83544828
How can you tell when it was malice, and when it was stupidity?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wj2cD8Q5hS8
Cash for Clunkers was a stupid idea. It jacked up the price of second hand vehicles by destroying them en masse.
How do we know if this was a well meaning but stupid environmental policy, or Obama colluding with Auto companies to jack up the price of vehicles by lowering the supply of used vehicles?

you get called a incel for basically everything
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>>83543967
Fuentes coming out as a virgin changed the conversation
>>
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>>83544111
Fuentes sounds like a resort town in Mexico, I have no clue who that guy is.
>>
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>>83543967
its depopulation protocol
two sides of the same coin basically

tell women there is a patriarchy and all men are rapist pigs, muh empowerment, muhh strong independant womna, muh reproductive rights and freedomz

and tell men how all women are whores nowadays, how they should rather self improooov (trademark) and how marriage is a scam, how they should go mgtow and btw being faggot is alright nowadays so you can become a gay if you want to get some sex

basically pulling the strings from both sides stirring up the gender war among zoomers to make them never have children
>>
>>83543967
because the internet is used by normal people now
and normal people are not very smart
>>
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>>83543967
But youre an incel deadass

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Post ITT to wake up tomorrow on Saturday June 1, 2002.
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how does this image make robots feel
>>
>>83544753
Bewilderment.
>>
2002 was too early. I'd take 2005 or 2008 though.
>>
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>>83544753
I remember hearing most of these on the radio while playing the Yu-Gi-Oh TCG. I had the Kaiba starter deck and a few Metal Raiders booster packs.
>>
>>83544753
It makes me realize I can only name about five current rock bands. What happened to white people?

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Having a loving girlfriend would literally solve my mental problems.
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>>83544770
How, you make it sound easy
>>
>>83544820
you aren't porn addicted you're just sad and lonely and grasping at this sad cope
a woman isn't going to fix your problems

go and find a girlfriend and report back in a year
>>
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>>83544839
>from abusive home
>sleeping on friends floor
>no life prospects
interesting i see what you're saying robot, you reckon we call in sherlock holmes to help us figure out why she cheated on you?
>>
>>83544752
That's oddly specific, are you sure that you aren't just PROJECTING?
>>
>>83544839
The art of "growing together" is lost to these whores. They crave BF material when they're young, and then when they get older, they suddenly crave husband material. Yet, they don't understand that you're supposed to help your boyfriend and support him through life, so he could self-actualize. This is an obvious psychological need, yet everyone ignores it because it puts the burden on women.

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I set my filter to 18-99 for fun and I got an incoming like from an impossibly attractive 58 year old woman with the flattest DFC I've seen in my life. Her hobbies and bio make her seem like the dream tomboy gf. She's also a commie and works as a librarian. No kids. Nerd glasses. Anime hair. So basically she checks all the boxes. But she's 58. What the fuck do I do. I don't want to hurt her feelings but god I want to have seggs with her and hang out with her forever.
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>>83544843
Both of our "looking for" sections are set to "LTR only" and I don't want to be like "you're too old for me" because what girl wants to hear that?
>>
>>83544790
I banged a 43 year old from work and she was tighter than her 24 year old daughter (long story)
>>
>>83544790
what country? sounds like the US already but why not ask. maybe someday a girl like that will exist in
B E L G I U M
E
L
G
I
U
M
>>
>>83544867
>she was tighter than her 24 year old daughter
>(long story)
alright anon fuck off
tell the story NOW
>>
>>83544865
Well I've said similar things to women because I don't care. If I were in your shoes I'd message her about some casual fun. She ignores me or rejects me? Same difference if I didn't say anything. She accepts? I'm getting that gussy.

What did Oscar Wilde mean when he said,"Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power."?
>>
he was a dirty gay boy
>>
it means that i am going to gloriously rape you
>>
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sex is about shame. but shame is the byproduct of power, yes. and power is just the inert form of violence. a potential energy version of violence. and violence i guess is god. don't you want to meet god?

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>I don't want a lot for Christmas
>>
Me neither. A girlfriend will do.
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christmas was a week ago buddy
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>>83544575
Well there is still a chance for Orthodox Christmas
>>
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>>83544539
>there is just one thing I need


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