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First for Baffy.

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Fli wants her Bubs Beelzed:

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>>9261026

Baphie with an angle getting her tits out for the lads:

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First Moon pic by Noaharbre:

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...and guess who's reappeared with this pic of Tower:

Or should that be Tower(s)...?!

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>>9261195
>Gods Below
I guess they revere the other Elder Demons, then again who wouldn't revere this?

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>>9261195

>>9261283
I bet they fuck afterwards

>>9261195
Was Judgement just fighting with her ginormous juicy jugs out and the censorship was just her black demon blood?
Anybody else feel this way when looking at her?

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>>9261283

No demons, you are the thots:

And then Moon & Tower were cowardly and hypocritical zombies.

>>9261550
That is likely

>>9261946
Imagine Moon holding you like that now.

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Judgement truly is the strongest of the demons:

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>>9261946
>Shareholder demons being brought up
>Enough pages left for Tower and Moon to meet up with their leader
>Room for a "nyhehehe we did your bidding boss"
>They would need a business oriented boss
G-guys...

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>>9261946
>>9262490
OH HOLD UP

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>>9262490
>>9262495
If Vanripper makes Baphomet the girl behind this I'll be a happy camper!

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A wild Baphomet appears!:

>>9262898
He'll be fine, just you wait.

>>9262898
She's a strong girl.

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>>9263065
5u.

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Welp, there's Tower demolished:

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We are breast... I mean blessed this Sunday by Azzy & Modeus cosplaying as characters from the anime series Gushing Over Magical Girls:

...and of course, the angle is the kinky one.

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>>9264967

Here's Michael getting her tits out for the lads:

>>9264967
>Stockings on thicc legs
YES BABY

I demand more muscle angles

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>>9265597

Ask, and you shall receive:

>>9265766
Long hair Lucy is best Lucy. Helltaker's fine, he'll live just to see her.

>demons canonically have black blood
>we can tell that's not some weird kind of censorship by the fact Taker's blood is still regular red

>>9265923
Funny thing is, I did say it was black, and scalding/caustic to mortal flesh in a Belphegor story I did. I'll repost it, it's a favorite I think.

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>The diner was quiet that night
>Same patrons, same food, same waitress
>Claire was never one for action, so this job was a heaven for her
>The bell on the door rang as a rather unusual customer came in
https://youtu.be/sUWcNZHtMDo?si=ueGMJj6rzIVlO8Eu
>She had long white hair, tied into two massive pigtails
>She had a red skirt, jabot, stockings, heels and gloves
>Heck, even her irises were red!
>Her face was young, without any blemish
>She skipped as she came up to the counter
>Her white blouse was coated in blood, and she was smiling innocently
>The girl plopped a still-warm spinal column on the counter, like she expected change in return for it
>The cook, a slightly rotund man named Jim, cocked an eyebrow. This isn't his first time dealing with morbid pranksters
>"It isn't Halloween, little lady. Very impressive costume, though."
>He swore that she clenched her jaw at the word "little"
>She continued to smile politey as Jim continued, her grin twitching
>"I'm sure you think that this is funny, but that prop's making a mess and the smell's putting people off their food. Get going."
>The girl giggled and leaned in close
>Her voice was a high-pitched Brooklyn accent, boiling over with faux sweetness
>"Your nose is really big, mind if I play 'Got Your Nose'?"
>"Wha—"
>Before he could pull back, the girl bit down hard, ripping his nose off with her teeth
1/4

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>A cast-iron pot to her face caused her to stumble back, as Jim slid down to the floor in pain
>As Claire tended to the wound as best she could, calling for someone to dial 911, the girl laughed a little harder
>"Gee, Italians DO taste different! Needs a little sauce, though."
>One man tried to restrain her, she ducked and socked him right in the stomach
>As his dinner came up, she clicked her tongue at him, her chin dripping blood
>"Now that's no way to treat a lady, especially when you don't even know her name!"
>"W-what the hell are you?"
>"The name's Belphegor!"
>She pulls out a playing card with her face on it, smiling a toothy grin, its edges shining like a blade
>"My card~"
>With a flick of her wrist, she threw the card directly at the man's throat. It sliced all the way to the spine, severing the esophagus and jugular veins with ease
>Another man rushed her, but she grabbed him by the throat and lifted him up
>She squeezed the praying mantis head on her jabot, a pink gas coming out of the mouth and into the man's face
>Ar first, he struggled against her grip. In seconds, he began to guffaw.
>Belphegor put him down as he started to laugh hysterically, his face twisting into a rictus grin and his eyes bulging in strain
>"Just remember sweetums, it takes more muscles to frown than to smile! Although with the way you're laughing, you'll pull a few muscles, haha!"
2/4

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>Belphegor clapped her hands once loudly
>"Alrighty, let's see what's on the menu for this fine, fine, FINE evenin'!"
>She skips over to a table, where an old couple is sitting
>She spots their rings and gasps dramatically
>"Dawwww, what a CA-YOOTE pair you two make! 'Till Death do us part', right~?"
>The wife begins to have a heart attack, and the husband holds her close and tries to calm her down
>"Maggie, don't go please! I love you, your grandchildren love you!"
>Belphegor snorts
>"Not much I can do about cardiac stuff, old top. Buuuuut, I CAN make it so she doesn't go alone~"
>As the old man looks fearfully at her, she opens her mouth, revealing many rows of sharp dagger-like teeth behind the first row
>"After all, a girl's gotta eat, and I'm seein' a twofer right in fronta me~"
>The first bite takes off the shoulder and a large portion of the thorax; she grabs his severed arm before it hits the ground
>She thinks as she chews, then speaks with her mouth full of gore
>"Hm, *smack*, a bit tougher than I expected. Have you been working out?"
>He could not answer, as blood loss had taken him
>Belphegor shrugged and continued to eat, giving her commentary about the taste to the remaining people in the diner, of which there were very few since everyone else ran out
>Claire stabbed her with a knife, attempting to stop her from her horrifying excuse for "supper"
>The wound bled an ichor, black as pitch and scalding to mortal flesh
>Claire screamed and grabbed her hand as the parts covered by the blood slowly melted
>Belphegor winced and giggled as she took the knife out without effort
>"Gee, you don't know what I am, do ya~? Well, here's a teensy-tiny secret...."
>She whips around in a blur and leans in so close that their noses touch
>"...I'm a demon. And you just put a hole in my blouse, you idjit!"
3/4

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>She grabs Claire by the face and begins to slowly squeeze
>"Let's see what's inside your head to make ya think that was a good idea, shall we~?"
>Suddenly, gunshots ring out, striking Belphegor in the chest and cheek
>She lets go of Claire and moves like quicksilver sideways, as shouts of "GET DOWN!" and "SHOW ME YOUR HANDS!" Penetrate the diner atmosphere
>More gunshots, then the sound of two necks snapping and two bodies hitting the tile
>Belphegor sits down on one of the counter stools and shows off her bullet wounds
>To Claire's horror, the wounds have already almost healed, flesh reknitting itself before her very eyes!
>"Lead ain't gonna hurt THIS jester! Neither did that cast iron, by the way; nice quick thinkin', though~"
>Belphegor stretches her arms and legs, casually getting off the stool and grabbing the two bodies of the officers
>"I'll take these guys instead; more meat on the bones, I'm sure you get it. Plus, I can pay their families a visit for dessert!"
>She picks both of them up like carrion and heads out the door
>She struggles a bit with getting it open, then with fitting herself and the corpses out it
>"Stupid darn...ung, come on now, move your butts!...uh, guess you can't now, huh?"
>She finally makes her way out, leaving parting words with Claire:
>"See ya, lady! I loved your service, with the free food and everythin', hahaHA! It's been a gas."
>When Claire stumbled out of the diner into the night air an hour later, she could hear the sound of bone crunching and viscera being chewed on coming from an alleyway
>She didn't dare investigate
4/4

Based Lorebro.

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>>9265931
>and then - after making Astaroth his slutty bitch - Anon uses his wiles to make Belphegor have her hair in two pigtails using clips with 'FIRE' on them, and wear a leather & rubber biker girl outfit with stockings & gold heels

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmhNe9fY7iA

>And getting her to cosplayi as a character in a certain game by miHoYo, who has one night stands one million percent

Anon: 'Gacha!'

Belphie as Burnice White? She IS like Joker's girlfriend!

>>9265992
To be fair, you could just show her the cosplay and she'd wear it without prompting; she's keeping her massive pigtails though, they're a classic.

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>>9265766
What, Lucy isn't already "DEVIL XV" ?

>>9266196
She prefers being Queen, it's much better than slogging around Hell dealing with morons.

>>9266612
>2 pages left
>Helltaker still bleeding
>Glowing thingy in Lucy (burned off I guess?)
>This starts instead of revealing Moon and Tower's boss
>Azazel unaccounted for
>Malina is still missing out on game night
>Cerberus stocks have been minimal
>Malina still has her game night
>Only NOW do they brush at Justice still being fighting fit
Over too soon, so cruel...

>>9266612
If this comic doesn't wrap up Moon and Tower's stories by Thursday, should I still do their summaries?

>>9266612
I, too, love big boobs.

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>>9266612
>Gloria Beelzebub
>Gloria

That was her name when she was an angle in Heaven. Oh, how she has fallen: Sic Transit Gloria Mundi.

...which actually means 'Gloria threw up in the back of the Ford van on the first day of the week'.

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>>9266647
>should I still do their summaries?

Perhaps you should do their mammaries. As Tower's are here: >>9261178

Moon could do with having bigger knockers:

>>9266729
>That was her name when she was an angle in Heaven.
I sure hope not, that's a grandma's name!
It's also latin for "glory to" similar to saying "praise be"

>>9266729
>>9266866
It's just a saying, "Praise Beelzebub". I'm certain her actual full name is Beelzebub Morningstar.

>>9266741
Would kiss on her non-existent mouth.

>>9267521
>Helltaker when he hears Heroes 3 mentioned:
https://youtu.be/IMdI_fozMYg?is=JjxoIHpKW5EjDZd_

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Judgement deserves some pleasuring after what's she's been through:

>>9268237
Not yet, we've got one more comic today

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>>9266612

>>9268482
>>9268483
And from Van himself:
https://xcancel.com/vanripperart/status/2085331395753193671#m

"I hope you found some fun in the many twists and turns of UNF. It took a year to draw, but time flies fast when I work in my comfort zone.
Haven't decided on the next big project yet, so you can expect some more Helltaker art to come later this year. Thank you and take care!"

>>9267521
Malina is so fucking cute.

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>>9268351

Yes yet, now the comic's finished, time for Judgement to be pleasured:

>>9268483
Maybe she just wanted him to her and nobody else?

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Moon/Halda, the Faceless Demon
“MY CAREER, MY LIFE, IT IS GONE! AND I CAN NEVER GET IT BACK! I'M NOT AN ACTOR ANYMORE! I'm not even a... man.”—Clayface, Feat of Clay
“You see, what we're talkin' about here is an organism that imitates other life-forms, and it imitates 'em perfectly.”—Dr. Blair, The Thing
“ADAM acts like a benign cancer, destroying native cells and replacing them with unstable stem versions. While this very instability is what gives it its amazing properties, it is also what causes the cosmetic and mental damage. You need more and more ADAM just to keep back the tide. From a medical standpoint, this is catastrophic.”—Brigid Tenenbaum, BioShock
“The moon. Beware the trickery of others, who is false and who is not. Hidden, I watch over you.”
>Moon did not always look like the purple shapeshifter she is now
>Her real name is Halda
>She was, before falling into the vat that changed her forever, a spy, perfectly adapting and disguising as anyone using clothes and makeup.
>She was High Prosecutor before Tower, who was High Prosecutor before Justice
>After the fall, she can do it literally, but cannot maintain a stable form outside of her purple featureless body
>She has to use her eyes solely to communicate her feelings, such as her pupils shrinking to pinpricks.
>Rarely, her pupils can turn into hearts if she REALLY loves something, like eating something with plum butter in it or just plum butter.
>There's another gut punch: demons are immune to fire, even taking magma baths usually. Since Moon's weakness is now fire, she’s not sure what she is anymore!
>Fire is a physical weakness for her now, her cells cannot regenerate
>Whatever the vat of mutagens Beelzebub was making was, it transformed Halda into a biomass factory, pulling energy from the Aether to conjure more
1/4

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>Moon crumbles her top layer away to transform herself, like a snake shedding its skin
>The shed biomass crumbles back into aether, almost no trace except for magical signatures
>When she impersonates someone, she must constantly keep focus, else the facade cracks and breaks off in pieces
>Too much emotion takes away her focus, so she must keep calm, which unfortunately means that more emotional beings are difficult to fake
>She can break it off consciously as well
>She can perfectly replicate everything about the person she's impersonating; smells, looks, clothes, etc.
>She uses insectoid forms quite a lot, such as a centipede
>She has a Neo-Khuzdul accent
>The reason she became Moon and shed her own name is because of a mission she was doing
>She had successfully infiltrated one of Beelzebub's genetics facilities, to steal research for Baphomet
>Justice, who at that time was still High Prosecutor, found her out and chased her onto a catwalk, right above a vat of mutagens
>The ensuing fight was not witnessed by anyone else, but Halda will swear that Justice hit her over the railing
>It is more likely that she lost her footing and fell off, however
>Regardless, Halda was believed dead by Justice and left in the vat, unable to be heard as she seemingly dissolved
>What came out the other end was still alive, but whether or not it was still a demon is debatable
>She saw herself in a puddle without a mouth or nose, purple skin instead of pale white, and black sclera with red dots for pupils
>Her clothes were dissolved by the mutagens, but she has no nipples or vagina, or anus in fact!
>She looked, for all intents and purposes, like a mannequin
>The very insult Lucifer uses for angels and people who worship God
>She doesn't remember when she started to laugh, but she does remember that she was crying while doing so
2/4

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>Ever since that day, she has made it her life's work to ruin Justice's life and the lives of Justice’s friends, a feat she almost accomplished not long after her transformation
>Once she found out that she can impersonate others, she impersonated Justice and tries to assassinate Astaroth
>The one rule a High Prosecutor has is that the Elder Demons cannot be killed under any circumstances, so Justice was sacked and arrested, Themis/Samael holding the position as usual while another candidate was searched for
>Judgement, who at the time was not merged with half of Samael’s soul, was tasked by Justice to find out who had disguised as her
>After a hard investigation and a fight with Moon, Judgement is able to get into a backstage TV production room and switch on the screens, right before Moon can suffocate her
>On the screens are multiple pas disguises Halda has used
>The intent was to show her what she was and who she could be again, if she accepted help to find a cure for her condition
>Instead, Halda starts morphing uncontrollably, kicking up a dust cloud of biomass as she sheds and reforms
>During this, she transforms into Justice just as Astaroth and two of her witch-engineers kick open the door
>After getting an eyeful of that, she says “By the Styx…it looks just like Justice!”
3/4

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>Judgement realizes immediately that it was a mistake, but Halda starts breaking the screens, ending up electrocuting herself.
>The body is brought to a mortician, but it crumbles into dust and dissolves back into Aether!
>Moon had managed to slip away and nowadays hires out her services, usually alongside Tower
>Justice got her position as High Prosecutor back, to which she accepted and make a joke about Grover Cleveland
>She's still attempting to master her own shapeshifting, with mixed results
>The moment anything goes wrong, she immediately falls into self-doubt and berates herself.
>Both she and Tower both seem to suffer from the same awful lack of self confidence, they just show it differently. Tower is more arrogant, Moon is more paranoid
>Before attacking Lucifer, she wanted to know if she still thought about her, like she wanted some external acknowledgment of her fractured self, that literally rips apart under stress.
>The shadow that appears monstrous, but simply wants to be acknowledged. She doesn't know who she is, or is refusing to acknowledge herself out of shame.
>Maybe she needs someone who loves her for who she is and is willing to learn about her, acknowledge her not as Moon, but as Halda
>Moon did say "I wish perfect gentlemen like the Spy were real” after all
https://youtu.be/UCtQPKcTQtU?si=UFmgyRrbVwMS2Mxz
4/4

>>9269338
>>9269340
>>9269341
>>9269344
Not even 2 days after the comics and you've already made this, holy shit you're fast

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Moon & Tower getting their tits out for the lads:

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Tower, the Starstruck Demon
“Up jumped the swagman and sprang into the billabong. ‘You'll never catch me alive’, said he!
And his ghost may be heard as you pass by that billabong, ‘You'll come a-Waltzing Matilda with me.’” —Waltzing Matilda
“We are broken, all is lost. The knowledge, drowned.”
“The problem's plain to see. Too much technology. Machines to save our lives. Machines dehumanize.” - Styx, Mr. Roboto
“Can we get control of an individual to the point where he will do our bidding against his will and even against fundamental laws of nature such as self preservation?” —CIA Document, Project ARTICHOKE, MORI ID 144686, 1952
>Tower was once High Prosecutor, able to channel lightning through her sword or just herself and fire it for a big shock to her targets
>She loved her job and Major Arcana title so much she even changed her name to Tower!
>the reason she was given the boot is that she used lightning on Belphegor while she was causing chaos in Dis
>It was a lucky shot, really; she was running so fast you could barely see her blur
>Belphegor, however, is sensitive to electricity
>It's so bad that she can have violent seizures if the voltage becomes too high
>As a result, when she was hit with the lightning she immediately fell down and convulsed heavily
>Her eyes rolled up as far as they could go as she slammed herself against everything within reach without any control
>The floor cracked, the walls shattered, and she nearly impaled herself on a silvered spear recently taken from a captive angel
>It was only due to the timely intervention of Lil’ Lucy that Belphegor's life was saved
>He bit her and injected a small amount of his venom into her, just enough to paralyze but not kill
1/4

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>The only injury she received was a slight puncture wound from the spear, no organs were harmed
>After the incident, Themis stripped her of her title
>Tower responded by trying to fight her, calling Themis by her real name
>Samael
>Her horns were grabbed and torn off at the root, her head being struck hard in the struggle, which resulted in permanent damage to the frontal lobes and right hemisphere
>Tower has an Australian accent, she tries not to use Australian lingo so she can be better understood
>She is also terrified of emus
>After getting her horns ripped off at the root, she went to Dis to get metal replacements
>She often goes back for checkups and repairs from the witch-engineer who installed the horns
>Ushrag is the witch-engineer’s name, but she uses the false name Elyra so that tracking her down is harder
>She is lanky, with four arms and violet-dyed hair tied in a bun
>Her glasses are not as thick as some of her colleagues in the Conclave, nor does she wear braces or a retainer
>As far as Tower knows, the horns are just prosthetics, they don't do anything
>In reality, the replacements can receive radio signals, grafted directly into the temporal lobes
>Those "prosthetics" are actually a complex array connected directly to the temporal lobes, tuned directly to a microphone in a hidden studio in Elyra's quarters
>It can also be set to give automatic messages, that way no suspicion is aroused
>She's even put two cameras right behind her eyeballs so that she can see what Tower sees through a screen in the same studio!
2/4

>the brain damage has given Tower schizophrenia-like symptoms, so she is more inclined to follow orders since she believes that it's her own thoughts
>Ushrag sends signals that don't say "do this" or "don't do that" but instead "I ought to do this" and "I ought to do that"
>Tower listens, not because she's programmed to obey, but because she thinks it's her own thoughts!
>Good thing Ushrag can do a perfect impression of Tower's voice
>Electrical signals are also sent to help keep Tower awake, although she doesn't really need help doing that
>She's quite stubborn all on her own
>Tower smiles through pain, enjoying it even as the black blood flows
>The various injuries and current manipulation have left her utterly deranged, as you can well imagine
>Astaroth won't say who the witch-engineer is, despite Justice outright demanding it
>“I will not divulge the name of one of my girls! State secrets, you understand~”
>See, the fun thing about mind control is that you always think you're above it
>You always think you're one of the few who peers through the veil, but you're not
3/4

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>Upright, The Tower is an omen of incoming disaster and destruction, but also a call to move on
>Rebuild from the rubble
>Begin again. Let go.
>However, given how she's in opposition, we can safely assume she's inverted
>Look at her eyes
>Look at what tower means in tarot, which inverted means she is about resisting change and delaying the inevitable
>There can be no collapse if you fight against it hard enough
>Right?
>She's literally fighting against the inevitable as well, which is her eventual exhaustion and sleep
>Each new injury cracks her further
>Brain bleeds, psychotic breaks when the signal is jammed, the developed schizophrenia
>How long does she have?
>She has no idea, and doesn't want to know
>All she wants is to prevent change in the only way she knows how
>But Tower doesn't know about a change in the demons' lives, a certain incursion into Hell
>A Helltaker
>A changed variable
>A man with such a force of will that only Doomguy can match it, which can and likely will ultimately break her
>But what will remain when she crumbles?
>What will Ushrag do when Tower sees behind the curtain of Elyra?
>What will happen when the guinea pig sees her torturer?
4/4
https://youtu.be/3cwLH7srtJQ?feature=shared

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Proof that Moon likes Hentai anime:

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Pande is being blessed this Sunday by Azzy:

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>not even 2 days pass
>Lorebro already made Moon and Tower's background
The autism is off the charts, Vanripper's strongest soldier

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Whom do you choose, /htag/?

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>>9271711

Baphomet:

>>9271391
He might be Vanripper. I can't prove it. And the sources are the voices but my doctor says I need to take my meds again.
>doakes stare meme.jpg

Oddly enough did Vanripper make Judgement more brown instead of purplish in the comics than Judgement's video game appearance?
I always thought Judgement was brown and the purplish tone was just a stylistic color palette choice.

I still need confirmation if the black blood was censoring Judgement's bare breasts and she was fighting with her tits out the whole time.

>>9271791
>purplish
I should have said greyish. Maybe.

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>>9271791

Here's Judgement getting her tits out for the lads:

>>9271802
Ball-drainer body type right there.

>>9271791
>>9271792
She's still grey, which makes sense considering the other demons are pale too.

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Fashionable Judgement:

I think I'm finally gonna do God's summary next, although I can already tell the quotes are going to be 3 parts alone! Makes sense, it's God after all.

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>>9273249
>3 posts of just quotes
Never before has this reaction image been more appropriate, that better be the best goddamn kino you've made so far.

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>>9273813

Methinks you'll love Azzy's expressions here:

>>9273813
>picrel
Never fails to make me laugh.

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>>9274063
>>9274066

Lewd Doggie & Bitch:

...with additional Judgement at no extra cost.

>>9274099
That's my jizz dripping out of them btw

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Bitch being slutty, and all that jizz... I mean jazz:

>>9274788
The stockings make it sexier.

>>9275526
Generic and Mammon a cute

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Ghost girls are cute too!

>>9276371
But can I touch them when they're incorporeal?

>>9276371
Nah, they're all lesbians..

>>9276983
Why's she naked?

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God/YHWH, The Mother
“I am the last monarch of the old school. It is my job to protect my peoples from their politicians!”—Franz Joseph I
“I saw seven golden candlesticks, and in the midst of the seven candlesticks, one like unto the son of man, clothed with a garment down to the feet, and girded about the paps with a golden girdle. His head and hairs were white as white wool, and as snow, and his eyes were as a flame of fire, and his feet like unto fine brass burning as in a furnace: and his voice as the sound of many waters. And he had in his right hand seven stars: and out of his mouth went a sharp two edged sword, and his face shone as the sun shineth in his strength…And behold, a throne was set in heaven, and one sat upon the throne. And he that sat, was to look upon, like unto a Jasper stone, and a sardine, and there was a rainbow round about the throne, in sight like to an emerald. And round about the throne were four and twenty seats, and upon the seats I saw four and twenty Elders sitting, clothed in white raiment, and had on their heads crowns of gold. And out of the throne proceeded lightnings, and thunderings and voices, and there were seven lamps of fire burning before the throne, which are the seven spirits of God.”
1/7

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“And before the throne there was a sea of glass like unto crystal: and in the midst of the throne, and round about the throne were four beasts, full of eyes before and behind. And the first beast was like a lion, and the second beast like a calf, and the third beast had a face as a man, and the fourth beast was like a flying eagle. And the four beasts had each one of them six wings about him, and they were full of eyes within, and they ceased not day nor night, saying, Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, Which was, and which is, and which is to come. And when those beasts gave glory, and honor, and thanks to him that sat on the throne, which liveth forever and ever, the four and twenty Elders fell down before him that sat on the throne, and worshipped him that liveth for evermore, and cast their crowns before the throne, saying, thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory, and honor, and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy will’s sake they are, and have been created.” —Revelation 1:12-16, 4:3-11, Geneva Bible
“God is a comedian playing to an audience that is too afraid to laugh.”—Voltaire
2/7

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“Strange! that you should not have suspected years ago--centuries, ages, eons, ago!--for you have existed, companionless, through all the eternities. Strange, indeed, that you should not have suspected that your universe and its contents were only dreams, visions, fiction! Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane--like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell--mouths mercy and invented hell--mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship him!”—Mark Twain
>God is a woman of few words, but many names
>Yahweh, Elohim, I Am, Adonai, Jehovah, Alpha and Omega, G-Money, Big Girl, Queen of Keks, and her personal favorite, Chadette
>If you're of different inclinations, her names are Liar, That Fucking Asshole, Scarred by Lucifer, Twat on the Heavenly Throne, Trollmaster, Kiwifarms, Indecisive Bitch, Smug Supreme, Old Man Henderson's Patron, and Mother
>God is bipolar; sometimes she agrees with Metatron, sometimes not
>This explains the Old Testament/New Testament God difference
>She definitely has a playful side as well
3/7

>Technically, she's three in one: Jesus the Daughter, God the Mother, and the Holy Spirit
>God switches between horrifyingly vengeful and lovingly merciful, Jesus is like Justice in that she's easygoing, and the Holy Spirit is 100% ethereal, the only body that part has is a dove
>As you can well imagine, she's in three minds about the whole thing!
>Being three-in-one is difficult, to say the least
>The whole cannot make a decision without all three being in agreement
> God is generally in the middle, Jesus isn't for what Metatron is doing, and the Holy Spirit supports Metatron
>And I do mean EVERY SINGLE DECISION
>They cannot even have breakfast without all agreeing on what they all want!
>Fortunately, She has a thing for pancakes, a sentiment all in the Trinity share
>She is quite aware of the myriad of enemies she's made over the milennia
>Beelzebub is still beyond PISSED at her for what she did to Behemoth, and nobody knows about Metatron except the Trinity and the archangels
>Every demon calls her a liar, and Maxwell has sworn to kill her as his ultimate quarry if he gets the chance, which if the Tower of Babel was completed he would have done
>She still has the scar on her left cheek, where Lucifer struck Her with her Trident
>Yet it was not that that hurt most
>It was the betrayal, her favorite in Heaven rebelling against her
>That heartbreak is still felt by her to this very day
>But she can't just admit she was wrong!
>God, being WRONG on something?!
>Impossible…as far as anyone needs to know
4/7

>She loves humanity, she did make them in her image after all
>Yet, even with Jesus taking in flesh during her tenure in Earth, she's never felt…
>...certain things
>In truth, she is DESPERATE. She's never “done it” before, Jesus doesn't count because there was no touching, just magic!
>If God ever met Helltaker, she'd probably act like a MILF. Jesus would be increasingly embarrassed
>She's well aware of Islam, and she suspects that Saraquael and Raguel had a hand in it's creation
>She reportedly said, after seeing it trounce the Byzantine and Sassanid empires, “That…well, that was like Ireland winning the Cold War!”
>Nobody knew what she meant by that at the time, but they got the reference about 1,300 years later
>Anywho, She threw up her hands at that point and allowed them to enter Heaven, so long as they kept close to the Word and did their best to worship
>Besides, she doesn't see any difference between a jihad and a crusade
>Christian denominations are irrelevant to her, as they've pretty much all got it wrong, although Jesus has made a point of wanting to go ape on the Vatican!
>Judaism is a touchy subject; technically, Christianity is supposed to be the fulfillment of the Covenant, but not everyone got the memo
>She's decided to let them make their choice when she eventually comes down
>”I'm not dealing with such a stiff-necked people again, I still have a crick in mine from Masada! At least Hadrian got sick of their antics too.”
5/7

>She does demand worship, and is not above pettiness
>She did let Job’s life be ruined just to prove a point to Lucifer and gloat about how great she is!
>She gouged out Behemoth's right eye just to show how powerful she was, that there's no such thing as invincible to her!
>She's torn between feeling terrible about it and reveling in how many fall on their face in front of her
>She hides many secrets, even from herself
>The Seraphim around her throne prevent any intruders, so no questions may be answered that she does not want answered
>For example, her true name
>There are scraps around Creation that may give us an answer to what was before “let there be light” however
>For example, one gives us the true name of God
>It is Ill—
>”NOPE NOPE NOPE, I'M TAKING OVER THIS NOW, NOBODY NEEDS TO KNOW MY OLD NAMES.”
“Mom, it's not that big a deal! Heck, I think it's a nice name!”
>”It's the principle of the thing Jesus, only you can know it nowadays, my daughter.”
“Well, don't forget the Holy Spirit, she's as much a part of you as I am! Look, she's being a cute little dove again! Awww~!”
>”Hm. I forgot she was here. A being three-in-one and I'm still losing track of myself.”
“Heh, you don't need us to do that!”
>”Shh!”
“Shh what? These guys have already read about you, there's nothing to hide! Well, except all THAT I guess.”
>”Yes, all that. Unimportant, not relevant to this time, and it won't be relevant at the end of the age.”
“Which one, Mom?”
>”...”
6/7

>”...Must you be so provocative?”
“I dunno, must you be so secretive? You know, that's partly why Lucifer rebelled in the first place—”
>”DON'T. Say that, I AM. I do not need to explain myself to those who cannot comprehend. Where were they when I laid the foundation of the earth?”
“Helping you lay it down, Mom. Watching you make humans and wanting answers, and receiving none.”
>”Me damn it, why don't you go back to Earth then?! You did go to Hell once to take their keys, that was easy right?”
“Tell that to the holes in my wrists and feet. Tell that to the spear wound in my side about how easy it was.”
>”I—”
“You know, YOU saw it happen! I yelled to you, ‘Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani?’ you BAWLED, Mom! Maybe I should have taken Lucifer's deal in the wilderness if you're going to act like this!”
>”I…I'm…sorry, my daughter. I just…it's been so hard!”
“Aw, Mom, come here. Let it out.”
>”After the Rebellion, I…had Azazel write a song of peace rather than triumph. It was…not popular, to say the least. I thought Raphael would burst into flames from rage there and then!”
“Hah, I remember that! A ton of ‘em looked SO disappointed; Michael was okayish with it though, so there's that.”
>”Resetting everything was harder than I had first thought, because the magic, the song I sung at the beginning, was weakening; I simply could not do it fully.”
“So what's that mean, some kinda glitch in the Matrix or somethin’?”
>”My beloved daughter, I tell you the truth, there are certainly places that stayed; yet I will not answer as to where they are. Those secrets are mine alone to carry.”
“You gotta tell people sometime, it's bad to keep all that in.”
>”...I know. But not yet. Let's…let's end this, what do they call it, ‘greentext’. They've heard enough about me.”
“‘Kay, Mom. Bye everyone, you'll get to hear about me instead next time! Afternoon, maybe!”
7/7

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This Sunday, we are blessed by Michael showing off her slutty body:

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>>9277579
>Chadette
>Kiwifarms
>Old Man Henderson's Patron
Omegalul

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Azzy is being blessed by Judgement:

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Jesus, the Daughter of God
“The seas are sapphires, the fields and forests emeralds. The Himalayas gleam like diamonds. The strange blue world to which my father sent me. If you knew how you are loved, not one of you would raise a hand in rage again."—Superman
“Jesus Christ belonged to the true race of prophets. He saw with open eye the mystery of the soul. Drawn by its severe harmony, ravished with its beauty, he lived in it and had his being there. Alone in all history, he estimated the greatness of man.”—Ralph Waldo Emerson
“The same day there came certain Pharisees, and said unto him, Depart, and go hence: for Herod will kill thee. Then said he unto them, Go ye and tell that fox, Behold, I cast out devils, and will heal still today, and tomorrow, and the third day I shall be perfected." —Luke 13:31-32
>Jesus Christ is by far the easiest of the Trinity to get along with, and the nicest girl in Heaven
>She's usually the voice of reason between herself, God, and the Holy Spirit
>She's the one who had to point out how ridiculous the “reasoning” of Metatron is, and makes no bones about it
“Free will is EXACTLY why humans are so unique, why in my mom's name would you give it to them just to make them slaves?!”
>Needless to say, she HATES it when people try to profit off of others, especially via religion
>She overturned moneychanging tables and made a whip out of cords precisely out of this anger
>She really wants to get to the Vatican for just this reason; she's going to bring a real whip this time, along with a scourge
>She's VERY familiar with how those work after her crucifixion
1/3

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>Jesus remembers every single detail of her death and resurrection, and will tell you all about it if you ask
>She had to become a man while in the flesh in order to be listened to more; she didn't mind, that's just how humans are
>Besides, she could actually aim when she peed as a man, which was her favorite part
>She was whipped on her back until there was literally no skin left, so they turned her around and whipped her on her front
>The crown of thorns she actually reproduced and keeps in her room in Heaven
>She admits that it's pretty cool, if painful
>Jesus still has the holes in her wrists, feet, and side where the nails and spear pierced her
>She'll happily let you put your fingers in them if you ask, and she likes to look through the holes in her wrists to be funny
>The Elder Demons were watching as she was on the cross, and nobody but Sathanas suspected a thing about her master plan
>When she died, she went down to Hell and raced to get the keys of Hell and Death
>She only had a limited amount of time before they figured out what was happening, so she snuck around and made her way to Pandemonium
>Belial caught wind of it and tried to stop her
>The others found Belial beaten to a pulp, her four arms tied in a literal knot
>Belphegor was the only one that spoke, simply saying “ouch.”
>Sathanas, meanwhile, stared at the cross in horror and recognition
>She hung herself on a tree, her spear Gungnir piercing her side to understand the runes
>She understood exactly what was happening here
>It was meant as the end of their reign of being worshipped by mortals, a middle finger of sorts to them all
>”Mother, you clever bitch.”
2/3

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>Nowadays, Jesus spends her days in carpentry, building mansions for the humans who make it to Heaven
>”Hmhm, I suppose Joseph rubbed off on you, Jesus~”
“Hey, he was pretty darn good! Wanna learn, O Omniscient One~?”
>She's quite a spunky girl, full of energy at all times
“And before that lustful Anon makes a joke about the word spunky, believe me I've heard it before. You wouldn't BELIEVE the kinda stuff I saw while in the Garden of Gethsemane! Seriously, I saw every single sin! You ever see Waluigi porn?! It exists, by my mom it exists! And you know what? I STILL wanted to die for you! There's a real good reason I was literally sweating blood while praying at the Mount of Olives, that was, woo, that was NUTS! That's one reason out of many why I love you. You're just as crazy as Mom, made in her image. So don't forget how much you're loved by me. You don't need to be ashamed, I've already seen your sins and I have forgiven you. My blood’s covering all of that stuff. Alright, mini-sermon over, I LOVE YOU!”
>Jesus is quite fond of reminding humans just how much she loves them
>She hugs, she plays with children and babies, and teases adults for thinking they're better just because they're “mature”
>After all, she did say
“Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child, he shall not enter therein.”
“And remember, if you're with Molech or Lilith, YOU BETTER HOPE YOU JUST GET A MILLSTONE AROUND THE NECK, BECAUSE I'M GONNA DO *SO* MUCH WORSE IF I GET MY HANDS ON YOU! YOU TOO, ‘VICAR OF CHRIST’! YOU DON'T SPEAK FOR ME IF YOU'RE WEARING GOLD WHILE OTHERS STARVE! YOU WANT TO FOLLOW ME? SELL ALL THAT YOU HAVE AND GIVE IT TO THE POOR!"
https://youtu.be/infyJGl_N0o?is=F8rOzwMDBgLokkcq
3/3

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>>9277873
>Belial beaten to a pulp, her four arms tied in a literal knot

...she got better, though:

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>>9277883
>IF YOU'RE WEARING GOLD WHILE OTHERS STARVE! YOU WANT TO FOLLOW ME? SELL ALL THAT YOU HAVE AND GIVE IT TO THE POOR!"
Lucy: 'Sayeth the one wearing three gold crowns!'
Jesus: 'Oh, I hadn't thought of that!
...and is immediately run over by a Challenger II Iron Chariot with 'Judges 1: 19' painted on the side driven by Doomguy, whilst on a zebra crossing.
Beelzebub: 'You should have read Douglas Adams' Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, dearie. You're not a hoopy frood who knows where their towel is.

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A new Behemoth pic by TehHank

>>9278004
>"S-so, do you love it Fifi~?"
>"...Crush me, baby."

>>9277873
>Filename
GODDAMMIT

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>>9277392
She's watching porn..

...and WHY shouldn't she be naked?
But if you insist..

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Hot women in heels are even more fuckable:

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I bet she and Tower love each other.

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...but I bet you'd like Taker's massive dick between your tits, Moon:

>>9279259
Hey, she did love him in bed, so she's just posturing.

>>9279151
Two crazy demons? Sign me up

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Fli wants her Bubs Beelzed:

>>9280071

Reminds me of the Shadows in Babylon 5.

>>9280125
How to beelze the bubs?

>>9280071
I think I know of this person
They're on f-list and wanted to smash my Azazel

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>>9280639

This is one method of Beelzing the Bubs, as Noaharbre demon-strates:

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>Beelzebub's husband Maxwell stands on a stage, wearing a glittery, skin-tight jumpsuit with the words “Certified Bub Expert (BEEFCAKE & BUBOLOGY)” bedazzled across the chest.
>A spotlight shines on him as smooth jazz plays in the background.
>"Ladies. Gentlemen. Demons. Angels. Ghosts. Mortals. And confused Halo players who accidentally clicked this thread—welcome. Today, I, Maxwell, King of Fabulousness and the proud husband of Mother Sky herself, shall answer the age-old question: How does one truly ‘Beelze the Bubs’?”
Step 1: Appreciate the Bubs
>"Before you even THINK about touching, you must appreciate! You see, Beelzebub’s bubs are not mere mortal breasts. They are divine, gravity-defying wonders sculpted by the cosmos themselves. They deserve admiration, worship, poetry—why, I’ve written entire sonnets dedicated to them!"
Step 2: Engage in the Ritual of Touch
>"Now, when it comes to contact, one must remember—Beelzebub is an Elder Demon. You do not simply grope; you offer yourself to the bubs. You must approach with respect, reverence, and both hands~. Bonus points if you whisper sweet language, such as: ‘Oh great and magnificent bubs, let me bask in your warmth!’”
Step 3: The Full Beelzing Experience
>"Ah, my dear students, this is where true enlightenment is reached. To fully ‘Beelze the Bubs,’ one must master the holy trinity: Squeeze, Worship, and Suck. But be warned—too much enthusiasm may result in being pinned beneath Beelzebub herself. Not that one would complain, mind you!”
>"Maxwell, for the love of Fortune—”
>“Hush, my love! The world must know the glory of your bubs!”
Step 4: Survive the Aftermath
>"After a successful Beelzing, one must be prepared for potential consequences—such as loss of breath, dizziness, or in the best cases, being lovingly smothered under the weight of perfection. But fear not! If you perish in the bubs, you die a hero."
>"Now go forth, young Anons, and Beelze wisely!"

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>>9280894

Thanks for the reminder, Lorebro.

Fli's Bubs status: Beelzed:

>>9280894
>Beelzebub married a femboy
He probably has a monster cock to compensate.

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>>9281657

Your very large and nice wolf MILF tits, Garmr:

Would impregnate wolf mommy.

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No hug for Beelz?

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>>9282205

Yes hugs for Beelz.

...bumhugs:

>>9282238
Why is Beel angy?

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>>9282380

I guess Fli prefers to have Bubhugs as part of Beelzing:

>>9282443
Milker.

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We are breast... I mean blessed by Azzy this Sunday:

>>9277668
A clusterfuck of old and new memes
Impressive

>>9282820
Perfect for someone who's immortal, really.

>>9277883
Badass Jesus?

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Oh how the Michael has fallen:

...into the depths of sluttiness.

>>9283439
She is Lucy's twin, it was expected at some point.

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>>9283860
>Behemoth
>cat

A bunny is fine too:

>>9283978
I demand Behemoth muscles.

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>>9284422

Ask, and you shall receive:

>>9284429
Would cuddle

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>>9284760

In Soviet /htag/, Behemoth cuddles you:

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>>9284978
Feet bigger than my torso haha

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A wild Baphomet appears!:

>>9285255
I thought she was a cigar smoker myself.

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>>9285310

Pande is quite the flesh cigar smoker:

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Ziz does actually look avian from the side here. I still would m

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>>9285948
>I still would

I bet you would here:

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>>9286042

This angle is in a position for adoration:

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GIWTWM

>>9286310
I demand more beeg girls

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>>9286853

Ask, and you shall receive:

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>>9286853

>>9286859
Muscular Judgement is best Judgement.

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>>9287580
>Muscular Judgement is best Judgement

She is also breast Judgement:

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>>9288204

In a turning of tables, Azzy is blessed by Lucy this Sunday:

>>9287598
Made for breeding.

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In Soviet Hell, Judgement breeds you:

>>9288405
I demand more futa

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>>9288555

Ask, and you shall treceive:

Sex with demons.

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>>9288684

Azzy is having sex with demons:

...and you're still cute, Malinka: even while wearing a strapon.

>>9288770
Poor Azzy just about to experience a meltdown.

>>9288915
Good or bad?