Like the title says. Me (21M) and my gf (23F) have been dating for about three months now, but neither of us have come close to bringing up the topic of sex yet. She was with her last bf for about three months late last year, and from what I've gathered (we're all part of the same large college friend circle) they crossed that barrier very early on, like within weeks if not days of meeting each other.I'm probably just overthinking things again, but if they had that level of intimacy and still broke up after a while, what chance do I have when we haven't even gotten there yet? It also doesn't help that I sometimes get the sense that I just don't measure up.Should I be worried anyway? There's no red flags, and I don't really have any other concerns about our relationship. She treats me well, she's attentive and seems happy to be with me. I know each couple goes at their own pace, but I can't help being insecure and feeling like she doesn't truly love me.
>>34550360She might expect you to initiate. Is she sort of assertive and flirty or very shy?
>>34550360Why haven’t you brought it up? Women don’t like to ask for sex. They want to feel wanted. Don’t you need some release? I was in the same situation as you at 14 with a 16yo gf. She broke up after 3 months. Not because she wanted to, but because I didn’t know I was supposed to ask her for sex.
>>34550360It's not a bad thing but why have you never initiated it if you want it?
>>34550360>if they had that level of intimacy and still broke up after a while, what chance do I have when we haven't even gotten there yet?Absolutely none. So, what are you going to do about that?
>>34550381>Don’t you need some release?Yes but I don't really know how to, I'm still a virgin and kind of embarrassed by it. Which I know sounds a little pathetic but I just don't want to fumble the bag with her and get rejected, any tips for how to casually mention it?
>>34550377>Is she sort of assertive and flirty or very shy?Probably somewhere in between. I wouldn't say she's assertive at all, but she's pretty open and talkative.
>>34550417Just bring up that you think she's really pretty and that you want to try doing sexual stuff together but that you're nervous about it. Inb4 "Hrrr, that shows weakness, she'll reject you immediately, I know because I'm an incel", think about whether you want to be in a relationship where you cannot openly express your worries or fearsAlso, you have no idea why she broke up with her ex, could be unrelated to the sex
>>34550417>Yes but I don't really know how toLiterally just bring it up?? It's not that hard, you don't need to make it any more complicated than it already is
She's not attracted to you, dude. Dump her. If she really felt anything for you, she'd have jumped your bones from the get go. The fact she had sex the previous guy earlier just reinforces this.
>>34550491>you want to try doing sexual stuff togetherAre you sure I should phrase it that directly? And no I'm not saying they broke up because of the sex, but it makes me feel like I'm missing out.
>>34550495>Literally just bring it upWouldn't that be a bit too sudden when we haven't gotten that close yet?
>>34550500I have a hard time believing that, she's not one to beat around the bush and she has no reason to stick around if she doesn't actually want to be with me.
>>34550517There's plenty of incentive for her to stick around. You're probably a provider, you pay a lot of shit for her. She probably plans on marrying you for even more resources. She could even be fucking some guy on the side as we speak.
>>34550360>like within weeks if not days of meeting each other.It's ova
>I guy blows her back within weeks>I'm still jerking off 3 months in the relationshipI hope this is just a practice gf, lol
>>34550505I probs wouldn't say 'sexual stuff', but I would recommend being very direct and saying what is on your mind however you would phrase it.
>>34550360so fuck her? what the issue here.
Take your time OP what's the rush?
>>34550360You shouldn't have sex outside of marriage, nor should you waste your time on women who have.
>>34550360>we're all part of the same large college friend circleWhy in holy hell do you guys do this to yourself? She will ultimately work her way through most of the males in this group. Many of the males will kiss and tell just like the last guy, likely you too when its done.
>>34552242>Many of the males will kiss and tellwhat does this even mean
>>34550360Dump her, and refuse to elaborate why. She'll be confused as fuck and she'll either suggest you fuck (fuck me daddy but don't leave me) or she'll do a complete 360 from the relationship. Whatever happens, you win. Her game is not being alone for the moment until chad proposes to her. She'll withdraw sex as much as possible from you even if you ask to fuck
>>34550360all this advice from others is awful for the most part. just slowly start to initiate new things, and fake it till you make it. fake the confidence and allow yourself to become more confident by making baby steps towards sexual confidence. you need to understand that you are likely expected to take the lead by the sounds of it, so take the lead. remember baby steps obviously. comparison is the thief of joy is the saying, but on top of that it will poison your confidence until you are crippled emotionally. at the very least speak to the lady damn man. if you are unhappy talk about it, advocate for yourself you're in a relationship no one else is gonna advocate for you in it but you. you don't need to be awkward about it, if she's easy to talk to then bring it up causally. work towards building confidence in steps or reevaluate your wants and needs with your relationship and whether you are happy or not. good luck.
>>34554173I mean I appreciate this but it's still so vague and general, if it was all this easy I'd have done it already. I don't know what to "initiate" or how to fake it. What do I do to take the lead and how should I say it? I don't know how to bring these things up or not be awkward.
