i have realized i spend all my time distracting myself to keep the bad thoughts away

>>34550643
DISTRACT YOURSELF MORE SUPERIORLY TILL WE GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THINGS

Hard to find a girl who's really down for me
Feels like a lot of nigga tryin' me...

Finally found someone and now she’s going to be gone for months. I’ve missed my chance.

shes calling me a short bald bitch and i just take it because i love her. that's ok. i can accept it.

Fuck you faggot

it's over.

Sometimes I get FOMO from anime and comic cons and then I remember I just don’t like anything that’s popular and I don’t have friends to take

I just want to lay down and stare into space like a human vegetable. Eyes open. Mind blank. I can't explain why

>>34550774
wdym

>>34550750
It could be worse it could be for years. Or forever

>>34550759
>i just take it because i love her
Sounds like short bald bitch behavior to me

I don't like it when Sean starts these threads

>>34550904
You finna leave s alone, real talk.

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I genuinely found the first 10/10 person I've ever seen. I don't even think 10/10 describes her correctly. I don't even mean that I'm just super attracted to her or she's exactly my type, I mean she is literally the pinnacle of humanity.
She is actual physical perfection in the flesh. Like the most attractive girl I've ever seen in movies, life, magazines, anime, literally everything. She is actually just perfect.

I'm not in love or anything, I'm just absolutely in awe of her. If she claimed to be a literal goddess I would believe and worship her on the spot.

I cannot think of anyone, instagram thirst trap, actress, model, etc... who is even remotely in her league.

And on top of that, she's just genuinely a really talented and nice person too.

Sean can you let someone else start /gioyc/ next time please?

>>34550913
my bf feels this way about his ex

Something else is trying to take over and the thought of becoming a passenger in your own body is a bit uneasy but then you realize that the clean and sober version of yourself booked multiple tickets to hell already. Whatever is trying to reach the surface probably won't be worse than your usual behavior.

>>34550934
Yeah

>>34550913
This is how I feel about him except I am in love with him too. Wish I could be faithful

I get so nervous whenever I talk to you, even though I know there's something between us and I know you'll always say yes. Thanks for being patient with me, and sorry if I choose the wrong words like I've done before.

>>34550952
They're lucky to have you.

>>34550952
He says shit like this to me after calling me a cunt

I let her into how hard I'm actually spiraling lately and now I'm just waiting for her response

Could be a break (euphemism for it's over), could be positive and supportive, could be a ghost
Just waiting now

>>34550955
I'm lucky to have her. I still think meeting her the way that I did was some kind of divine intervention.

>>34550879
My mind is too fast my day too hard I want nothing more than to turn my mind off and just .. exist.. to be one with the universe instead of thinking a mile a minute.

My mind is a gassy Hecking Chungus cake fart nigger ass lick pink toast.

>>34550968
Has she called you yet?

>>34551009
Yes but I missed the call

>>34550914
Yeah. I just want to get a template out. Sorry. I'm sorry this offends you. I won't likely stop but I won't spam.

Nobody would believe my life story and like that sort of makes me life story worth it or something maybe

>>34551009
No not yet
I'll start worrying in an hour

I blame myself for her death

I miss my child’s father so much. I don’t have the courage to admit it to him. He doesn’t know that I was pining for him all of these months but I was so taken aback when he showed himself in front of me again that I just ran away.

check your email

>>34551197
>DoorDash - Try Trending Restaurants Near You
Very cool, thanks!

>>34551197
why did you do this to me

>>34551197
What are the initials of the person you're talking to?

>>34551197
fuuuck you made me check it

>>34551226
same

>>34551090
I'm starting not to, and this one guy betrayed me and really he killed his crush and got his other crush into an abusive relationship by preventing our love from blossoming so jokes on him

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>me bee
>26 years old male living in the South East Asia (not India)

>retarded since I was a child, got bullied and separated from the other kids for being different
>Male parent taught me that if you feel bad, just inflict violence upon your family and you'll feel better
>quit school, grew up with anger issues just like male parent, thinks about killing male parent for ruining my childhood, resist because I love my mom

>fell in love with girl at 17
>relationship went on for a year and a half, then she ran away because she couldn't take the hateful and destructive actions anymore
>buckbroken ever since. Thinks I'll never be able to love anyone like that ever again

>fast forward today
>fought through life despite everything. Have decent job that requires skill, good income
>mom leaves me a plot of land, planning to build a new house on it in 2028
>meets girl again through friend group
>she looks happy, really into her new guy
>he's just some kid 5 years younger than me, looks better, still in college, no carrier no nothing

I feel bad because I never fully moved on. She took away a part of me that I will never recover.
She broke my heart and I also broke hers. I want to love her, hurt her, take care of her and ruin her so she could never love anyone else, but me.

But I won't do shit.
Friends told me she feels indifferent towards me, I guess that's true. And she acts around this new guy the same way she used to act around me, I feel like a cuck.

I could give her so much more, man.
I guess that's it. Here's some gay picture to show you how I feel, thanks for reading.

My progress post about the new features I added to my game got several (you)s. I feel happy. I think I'll get many frens when I finish it.

>>34550559
We're reaching the levels of narcissistic namefaggotry that shouldn't even be possible.

>>34551767
You noticed the narc larp post as well. Yup

>>34551767
It's not new. There used to be more namefags here in the past. I haven't seen Gary or Nick around in a while

You have to be psychotically on your own team no matter what

i miss gary

>>34551814
>t. cheswick

A few weeks ago I caught up and finally hung out with my old best friend from elementary school and I was genuinely surprised by how he still thinks really highly of me after 13 years of no contact. Real cool and successful guy. Thing is though he was constantly buttering me up and complementing me for "glowing up" and becoming way more fit and attractive since we were in middle school and I'm embarrassed to say it but it made me blush hard after the fact. I think I'm kinda gay for him, I hate to say it. Idk but I never had any girl in my life glaze me that much in such a passionate way.

>>34551818
that sounds awesome i'd go gay for him too. i wish anyone i knew from when i was a kid still wanted anything to do with me

>>34551815
>cheswick
Wow that's a blast from the past

>>34551827
Thing is I don't really think I'm gay as much as I realized I'm affection-starved, if that makes any sense.

People talk mad shit, I don't know what the problem is.

Malazan looks intimidating already, gawd.

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I am hopelessly addicted to strippers. I go to the club probably twice a month sometimes more if I'm feeling really shitty. They're the only women I've ever known to want a physical relationship with me. Yes, they're being paid to but it's more than any other woman has ever done. I have plenty of female friends but at no point were they even remotely interested in a romantic/physical relationship. I'm not sure if this is pathetic or not. I find strippers to be less judgemental as there is no pretense regarding our relationship: they want money and I want their body. I've even started trying to date one of them as they've asked me out to get lunch next week. Most likely they just want me to pay them for actual sex (which I've hired escorts in the past) but I can only hope this is a real date. Either way, I'm hopeless. No normal woman will ever love me and that is simply the reality I need to live with.

>>34551861
FUCK MEN

>>34551869
You crack me up when you do that.

You're a pretender just like your favorite rapper.

>googled him when he ghosted and there were 0 results
>googled him 10 months later and he shows up multiple times from sources multiple years old
Am I paranoid
Did he suppress his digital footprint at the time to not be found and then that just eventually lapsed

For months i was in two relationships simultaneously. It started when i and my girlfriend started to have issues, and i moved out, i then contacted my long lost love that i never get to really by with for many reasons. It was amazing but i warned her to not fell in love with me because i want to try and get things back in order and am back with my current girlfriend. I accomplished that everything is, i would say better than before, but the problem is that i in my moment of courtesy decide to inform the second girl, that it is time to break up and separate. She of course was devastated because she left some dysfunctional relationship for chance to be with me, so she was heartbroken. We used to talk with each other all these years, once in a while we used to check on one another, and now she want only for me to leave her alone. This whole situation is making me sad, not from guilt, i dont feel that, but i feel like i lost a long time friend. Why did you have to fall i love? I warned you that falling for me will end badly as i cant give you full relationship and happy ever after. Why didnt you listen? Now we are just two strangers instead of friends that fuck.

now I get why Americans say latinas are crazy, this girl is hot and cold, mad at me but wants me and can't stand the thought of me moving on, Jesus.

>>34551640
Nice.

i keep having these thoughts about killing myself. About how bad and awful I am. But I know I can't stop living. Even if I'm super pathetic, my life means something to my family. I shouldn't have gotten married or had kids. I should've been hit by a train once. Came within a split second of my car being clipped which would've absolutely killed me. A different car was hit at the RR crossing a few years later and all 4 people in the car died. I was in a plane that was hit on the ground by a baggage car. I was in the backseat of a car that was almost rear ended by a semi truck but my dad saw it wasn't stopping and hit the gas and drove off the side of the road into a dirt field. I feel like I've been so lucky to survive each time but also unlucky. I should've have made it. I'm too pathetic to live. I can't tell to anyone about this because I would sound insane but it's true. I'm alive and I shouldn't be. I don't deserve life. But not what I have kids I can't afford to die. I feel like I'm under so much pressure I don't know what to do. I don't know why I'm typing all this, nobody cares. I'm not even sure I care. I just have to shout I don't deserve to live. But I have to. I think. Fuck!

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>them: stupid racist chud! Go to therapy lol
>me: go to therapy
>therapist: lol just like not care what they think. B ur shelf bro :^)
>Me: I hate niggers and women
>Them: NOOOOOOOOOOOO
>Me: pic related

Guess therapy does work.

>>34551814
T. Spongebob

Ridiculous beyond belief like wtf wtf wtf holy shit no words...wtffffffffff

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It's been almost 10 years since my parents split, and I can't say I know them better now as people in the 10 years they've been apart then they were together, can't say anyone is in better positions then they were 10 years ago given how the world decide to fuckoff into the clown dimension while they both struggle in different always all awhile I can't even get own shit together but at least they are both healthy.

Damn

i want to be in love with someone who is in love with me. my heart yearns every time i see this or see a glimmer of it in the eyes of a man who looks at me

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My ex gf, who a week after I broke down and cried to her about the death of my father told me she's glad he's dead causing us to break up, has recently got married to someone she's only dated for about as year, found out via a mutual friend who I haven't seen since the breakup.

I feel numb and like she's winning while I'm suffering. How do I stop this feeling?

I don't have many friends. I become attached to the few online ones I have, caring deeply for them. One day everyone stopped responding to me. I've cut for everyone because the anticipation whether they will message me or not is killing me.

Please keep posting your outbursts, I love the evidence.

>>34552534

I miss all my ex's, even the ones I've broken up with, its just a weight you have to carry, try to distance yourself from any mutual friends. Don't think about forgetting find someone or something you love more than missing her

Darn

How fucking stupid? How fuxking stupid are you?? Why do you live?

Damn, I miss her.

>>34552769
Same

if you really missed me you would've killed yourself by now. all men do is lie

>>34552906
Why would you come to that conclusion?

I hope my gioyc crush is in this thread today. I love reading his thoughts and hearing about his life even if he thinks no one is really paying attention. I wonder what he's doing whenever he stops posting for a while.

>>34552298
gary come home (gary come hoooome)

>>34552916
Brilliant bait.

>>34552916
my gioyc crush used to be sean until i found out he was bald

Sean is bald?

>>34551073
Well what happened

would you forgive me if i never came back?

rapidly losing patience

like you have the balls to go apeshit. that would change something for once

not falling for your crocodile tears again

"i am a pedophile because i never really had a childhood of my own"

oh okay why didn't you say so. keep molesting them then

this is not a game mother fucker

>>34551041
Thanks man appreciate the apology

First you look so strong
Then you fade away

hate people who sweat and it smell like onions

>>34552964
Of course.

I really want to build some kind of relationship with him, he's one of those rare men who can actually talk about their feelings and be honest (or at least I think he's being honest)...

>>34553030
thanks anon. this was the sign i needed. i'm not going to return

hope you have a good life without me and i hope you can let go of everything between us and move on

>>34553047
What's stopping you?

>>34553048
Be safe.

>>34553047
Men cannot be honest about their feelings because they themselves cannot even recognize what they are feeling. They can be in relationships for years and realize they don't even like the other person.

>>34553062
That's literally all genders.

>>34551861
>>34553047
>men
>honest

>>34553068
Why'd you tag me? Goddamn.

>>34553067
leave nonbinaries out of this

Am I struggling in this relationship because she shifts my center of gravity without my full consent, or because for the first time in my life I am actually judging my own patterns of relatedness while trying to be more grounded and present? For nearly a year and a half I've kept myself up at night asking these questions.

>>34553072
Clearly you're lying about Malazan being intimidating. Peak performative m*le behavior.

>>34553073
They have human flaws, right?

So my mom bursts in my room, yelling about how theres a charge on her card from door dash that was made two days ago. So I say I didnt do it, I dont have doordash on my phone and may have been my dad or my brother. She starts fucking screaming, over talking me, accusing me of making this charge. Insulting me, banging on my door, calling me a bitch, yeah my own mom called me a bitch. Did nothing but keep on and on, turns out, I did make the charge but it was one I made back in fucking February. It was by accident and I paid her back and everything. She still hung on "two days ago", I was confused and thought she meant literally two days ago the order and charge was made. Not in fucking February, she just wanted an issue, wanted an argument and an opportunity to shit on me. Of course someones going to think literally two days ago.

>>34553072
>>34553047
>man who can talk about his own feelings
Classic moid manipulation technique. Some of them know this is what women want to hear so they do this early on. It's a bad sign if he's doing this before you're in a relationship

>>34553075
What? It's lots of information in the first few pages, it makes me Apprehensive.

>>34553079
You got a problem, vro?

>>34553078
Oh, and fucking doordash signed me up for doorpass for some reason I guess when I made the order. So I had to explain that to her too, then calls her friend, sits on the back porch with a glass of vodka talking shit about me again and no word of how she acted and how I was approached with this issue. If she would have been cool I could have figured it out.

>>34553089
Im sure she called my dad so im going to have to deal with thar when they get home of me being the asshole again and told half of what happened.

And she brung up richmond again, she loves that.

>>34551861
Malazan Book of the Fallen more like Males, Broke but won't stop Callin'

>>34553106
I'm not fucking calling you.

>>34553018
No pressure, but I would like to see you or other anon's best efforts at making a self-help guide on occassion too. I think we can make like 4chan Stoicism, basically, but don't want to erase the old ways. Sorry again. I feel I should try. I want it to be institutional and traditional and decentralized, but group-harmonizing and ever-evolving.

You can ring my belllllllllllllll...

Being told to be nice to people who ignore me (except when you're looking) whisper about me from a few meters away and shoot me dirty looks, all in my own fucking home, lmao.

>>34553161
lmao

>>34553161
>>34553168
lmao

>>34553161
Fuck cats

>>34553172
You hate cats now too?

>>34553172
lol

I love you.

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call men a root the way they be the source of all evil

>>34553213
I wish this was for me.

>>34553285
It is.

I don’t remember it very well. It was me and two of them on the boat at fish lake and I was probably about 5 years old and she suggested that I would want to put my face in her ta ta’s or me and my friends would end up wanting to when we started liking girls and something about cooling off and I think I was smiling and laughing and denying it and the memory gradually disturbed me more and more as I grew up. “derek” tolerated it.
I remember year after year reflecting on it like “what the fuck?” and the memory is fuzzy now. Saturday and Sunday mornings I spent time in bed with “derek” watching cartoons and he never did anything fucked up other than just being someone who probably isn’t my real dad in that situation. I don’t know if it’s ok or not for step parents or people who adopt to do that. I really don’t. I certainly wouldn’t hang out in bed with my step daughter or son. As far as adopted kids go it’s like what if they reflect on something like that worried and wondering if something that they don’t remember happened because it’s more likely to happen when your parents aren’t blood. I just know that the only time Derek ever looked at my pecker was when I had a pimple on my sack once when I was a child. He never touched my pecker I know what I’m talking about. He didn’t touch my butthole. There was no kissing either. Ever. tammy always had had general hospital and one life to live playing on tv in the living room so when I was young and impressionable she had let me give them long kisses a few times like they did on tv until they told me I can’t do that anymore. I remember laying on the couch in front of them as well and started playing with myself, long before I had any idea what I was doing, before my “floppy fish” addiction and they sternly told me to stop playing with myself. That’s the best I can do for u. I’m not posting anymore. Police can either do their job or I’ll just keep suffering because of them.

wow, i love him

It's a town full of losers
I'm pulling out of here to win

>>34550986
Hello myself from the past. I would like to introduce you to two things. Firstly, look up adhd relaxation on youtube. There are legit some that really help me stop thinking so much and helps me relax my mind. For me it was music stitched together that just hit something in my brain that made me stop thinking. Number 2, look into CBD gummies, or if it's legal where you are, edibles. I used to be a genuine hater of dude weed lmao, but I finally tried it once with some friends and for the first time, I only had one thought in my mind for hours. Now I enjoy a 100-200mg treat on weekends and its genuinely game changing how much happier and relaxed I am since I'm not full of thoughts at every minute.

>>34553420
>adhd relaxation
Why is this thread always full of adhdniggers? Am I being haunted?

>>34553430
Sorry. I dont have adhd, but those vids somehow help the extra thoughts go quiet. Cant explain it.

>>34553430
It's just perverts and dumbass kids latching onto self-diagnoses.
The legitimately diagnosed ADD patients don't come to places like this.

Autistics however, are a frequent flyer up here.

my life is not easier without you in it, i already told you that

>>34553457
There's some legit schizos and bipolar retards too. Don't undersell it.

I have such extreme self-loathing that it causes thrush in my mouth. I now it is emotionally related because once in a blue moon when I am somehow feeling good about myself it goes away. Fucking mental innit.

You probably think I'm going to give up on you and it's all your fault, but you're wrong on both counts.

>>34553474
You're right, I completely forgot the schizos. Retards, that's a given, but the schizophrenia only strengthens up here.

>>34553457
>The legitimately diagnosed ADD patients don't come to places like this.
why not

>>34553515
They're all locked up in the mental asylum

I feel trapped in being the funny/affable guy. Any time I get quiet or low energy (genuinely not even upset, just not joking around or smiling all the time) everyone around me starts acting like I'm ruining their vibe or I'm suicidally depressed or something.

If only you knew how beautiful you truly were

>>34553026
I ironically like it sometimes

>>34552534
Your ex gf is a sociopath

>>34553468
I don't think so. Can you tell me again?

maybe your life isn't easier without me but at least you're happier

You laid your bed now lie in it

Autistic men are weird, ugly, annoying creeps

Autistic men are short bald bitches

>>34553602
Are you trying to get my attention?

no i'm actually less happy and i think you know that you make me happy. its not you that stressed me out, i asked for you just like you asked for me

>>34553089
Sorry anon. My mom used to do things like that too. She loved to have catastrophic meltdowns over a simple misunderstanding then call a friend and retell everything that happened (but without mentioning her throwing and breaking things, stomping around, throwing my clothes and things outside, trying to bait me into yelling back or crying by telling me I was going to die alone, friendless and unloved etc.,) and tell a story where I did or said something that would make me look like a bad person to justify her anger instead of just apologizing. Then she'd try to tell the same story to my older sister who already knew what was up so she'd instantly ignore her. I realized that she was just permanently stuck mentally as a shitty teenager and that at some point I outgrew her and just looked at her with pity. I hope you are able to find peace and a way to get out of that living situation eventually.

>>34553564
Yeah at least I'm happier. Sigh

antionette hates me so much but id marry her in a heartbeat. i want to make an american out of her.

im going to die alone.

>>34553690
Doubt it. There's probably plenty of people that want to be with you.

Wonder how often she thinks about me or quitting this job. Or both.
I'm trying to maintain focus on my path, but I can see her patience wearing thin. I'm sad for her, but she has a big support system, so it's ok I guess.

>>34553690
Same

>>34553696
i have 31 matches on hinge over the past 2 years and only one has turned into an actual date. the rest just stop responding. im not interesting enough to reproduce. if i want kids i have to get rich.

>>34553730
You don't go outside much?

>>34553732
Same. It gets annoying.
Worst part is when you're just there to get the money and leave.

Wait wtf happened, he deleted his confession? What a shame, it's not like anyone finding your ass up here.

Nobody at my work finds my shit, and I'm comfy knowing that.

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>>34553141
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NE4z5ZAGjF4&list=RDNE4z5ZAGjF4&start_radio=1

>>34553731
i go outside plenty but i could go to bars more but the bars around me are really competitive. i live in queens ny. ever other guy is in a band or a stand up comedian.

>>34553770
Sounds like you're psyching yourself out.

>>34553690
I think less than 10% of us have to die alone if we come up with a plan and don't play zero-sum.

>>34553776
I only argue because I think I'm the only one that's actually going to die alone.

>>34553785
TOO many people think that. Your odds ARE better than you think.

>>34553821
No, they aren't. I'm not you.

>>34553823
Just shave it, get chelsea boots, and stop being a bitch, dude.

>>34553834
Shave what?
What would Chelsea boots do for me?
>stop being a bitch, dude
I'm not being a bitch, I'm just being real.

>>34553772
im really not. the girls here are only attracted to high performing men. im just not that. my dad was a fuck up asshole and im a fuck up asshole who's slightly taller. im gonna have to move to a poorer state to get a white wife, otherwise i have to go abroad and find a girl to bring back to nyc.

>>34553841
I was memeing short-bald-bitch-anon.

>>34553847
You're gonna make her hate you.

>>34553844
Do you make money?

>>34553848
Whost

>>34553852
Short-bald-bitch-anon, Sean.

>>34553854
OH. I thought hīe were a man.

>>34553851
no. i only make 90k a year. im dirt poor here.

>>34553881
Damn. Did you live anywhere besides NY?

Why did she only start showing her feelings about me now that I'm leaving to go to other side of the world?
Why did she ask for my number now?
Why was she next to me all night?
Why was I starting at her hands thinking how pretty they are and how badly I want to hold them when I will never see her agian?
Why couldn't she do think before I decided to leave?

I do know a few of you exist that regularly talk to me but can't piece much together.

>>34553887
You know me, dummy. I even gave you my name.

When I worked at a grocery store the most rude customers were old people. Always. Every single time a customer had a public temper tantrum or had something rude to say, the person saying it was 60+. Just today I saw a boomer approach a business owner and was just a total ass before he even confirmed if the business owner was in the wrong. Lmao.

Why are they like this? I know it's not literally every boomer. But I'm in a rural flyover area and there's just a certain.. type... that's peppered around here and is very annoying.

>>34553883
i lived in denver for 3 years and immediately got a 6ft blonde gf upon moving there but i think it was a fluke since she was just getting back from germany on an air force tour with a really shitty bf so she just thought i was great, but she was really dumb and i wouldn't want to have kids with her. i've had sex with 14 women, mostly from upstate ny and the midwest, ive only fucked 2 girls living in nyc for the past couple of years

>>34553893
It sounds like...
You have a roster.

>>34553889
Look I've sort of been in a coma for the last five years. Please tell me again and I will remember it this time. Did you tell me on discord? I'm sorry I got weirded out. You should understand that you are more familiar with me than I would be with you, Anonymous. Also I'm really bad with names AND faces. I just sort of memorize people as vibes, relationship we have, and a few key features to recognize them.

>>34553898
That sucks, but no, you only get it once.

>>34553901
Fine, but don't kys over it.

I'm sick of playing these stupid games. I know you like me, and you know I like you, so why not just let me in? Sooner or later I'm going to decide you're not worth the drama and the difficulty and stop reaching out forever, and you'll be left wondering why I went silent again.

I kinda regret not indiscriminately fucking when I was younger. At least I can do it now. It’s weird too, beauty standards have aligned more with my taste and I’ve kinda grown into myself more, so maybe it’s the time to manwhore

>>34553955
>I'm sick of playing these stupid games
I'm bad at games.
>I know you like me, and you know I like you, so why not just let me in? Sooner or later I'm going to decide you're not worth the drama and the difficulty and stop reaching out forever
I don't believe I deserve Love. Simple.
>and you'll be left wondering why I went silent again
You will find someone that makes you find your voice again, if I make you go silent. We can talk, though. I'm insecure, that I will let you know.

>>34553966
>I don't believe I deserve Love. Simple.
Who cares if you don't deserve love? Do you want love? If you want something, go for it - that's something you'd tell me.

>>34553975
>Who cares if you don't deserve love? Do you want love? If you want something, go for it
Okay, that's just me trying to tell you that I'm not attractive.
>that's something you'd tell me
That does sound like me. Do you want me to follow you to your favorite places? I'm afraid that might make them your least favorite places after a while.

>>34553984
>Okay, that's just me trying to tell you that I'm not attractive
Bullshit, you're so cute it made me wonder why the hell you were even talking to me the first time we met. I love your hair and I love your eyes, but most of all I love your smile.
>Do you want me to follow you to your favorite places? I'm afraid that might make them your least favorite places after a while.
I'd love that. I want to see that smile on your face when you experience them for the first time. And I want to see them with you again and again. You're not going to ruin them for me, and I don't know why you'd even think that.

>>34554018
>Bullshit, you're so cute it made me wonder why the hell you were even talking to me the first time we met. I love your hair and I love your eyes, but most of all I love your smile
This is so sweet. You made me smile.
>I'd love that. I want to see that smile on your face when you experience them for the first time. And I want to see them with you again and again. You're not going to ruin them for me, and I don't know why you'd even think that
Just my insecurities. Would you want this gradually or immediately? Idk, if I can do immediately.

>>34554029
Gradually is fine, gradually is perfect. I just want to spend more time with you.

And I'm not actually going to go silent on you without warning. It'd crush me too much knowing I could've hurt you. Sorry if reading that upset you, and I'm sorry for the last time.

>>34554051
>Gradually is fine, gradually is perfect. I just want to spend more time with you
Good to hear. I appreciate your patience.
>And I'm not actually going to go silent on you without warning. It'd crush me too much knowing I could've hurt you. Sorry if reading that upset you, and I'm sorry for the last time
It's okay. I forgive you. I'm sorry for making you afraid, if I did.

did you get the sign?

>>34554072
Yes, that doesn't make you "God."

Going to try to make the most out of today and the next day forward. Even though many people want me to die, I'm gonna keep a cool-head and help those with extreme hatred have patience to deal with me. Will it be easy? No. But I'll continue to be loving and caring even though the other person is threatened by it. I can't make everyone happy. You can be the sweetest peach in the world, and people would still not like you.

>>34553584
Okay? What are you going to do about it?

>>34554095
Don't let the others live rent free in your head or out of spite. Just ignore and forget about them. Live your best, yeah.

>>34554105
You know Sean, even though we have names apart from all the others, at least we don't try to idolize ourselves and make people accept ourselves as a main character in a martyr autobiography. Ya'know typical Reddit bullshit that is common here and the internet? If anything we just shrug things off eventually and get through the day instead of gossiping for hours on end about everyone at how everyone is an idiot, and that to me is real stupidity. Like if you hate everyone so much, then just fucking leave.

>>34554114
I mean I think everyone can be a main character and I've definitely get upset but less so generally over time with practice. I think you're in panic image management mode after being bullied online. This is also a thing I have done. Try to relax, buddy. Just be the person you want to be, I think. Gn. I have to sleep.

>>34552940
She's fully supporting me
She likes me so much that me opening up about deep shit that's difficult is making her like me more
She's too fucking good for me
I'm gonna try my best with her
I'm always so worried I'm not doing enough and I'm gonna ruin it

>>34554164
One of these days Sean, I'm gonna make a woman who picks on me the most get the most ironic twist of all the time and she's gonna like me and fall in love with me in the end, and I will take advantage of it.

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>>34554192
It's gonna be like:
Her: "There ain't no way in Hell I'm ever gonna date that freak. He's gay as fuck! No way. He's better off just doing some weird shit like arts and crafts at a church or some gay shit like that. Just an absolute embarrassment of a man..."
Her a few months later: "ZACH I HAVE YOUR KID ON THE WAY AND I'M GONNA NAME HIM AFTER YOUR GRANDFATHER!"

I don't feel like I belong in the United States anymore, but I don't know where I would go otherwise. I don't think there is a future for me here. Depending on how a ruling happens in the Italian courts I could be able to get citizenship there. But I in June don't think I would fit in there, and somewhere I would like to live like Finland or Switzerland I wouldn't feel right using my citizenship just for easy access to another EU members borders. Plus Switzerland is far out of my finances. There is a certain charm to Taiwan, but I am afraid there would be too much of a language and culture barrier to overcome, same with Japan but with the Swiss money problem thrown in. Moving probably wouldn't change anything anyhow. Thanks for your time /adv/ and I hope you are all doing well.

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>>34551814
I’m multiplying

>>34554192
Based

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i should consider killing myself posthaste

>>34552933
Mhm, and short.

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Therapy is for faggots and a waste of fucking time and money to pay to talk without someone until I agree with them that hating people for justified reasons is bad when in reality I should be able to beat them to fucking death and shit on their graves. Or turn on the news to see that there were raped to death and laugh about it

>>34554286
GARY?!!

How do you deal with people around you treating you like you are "special", and I don't mean in the good way but in the pitiful way.

>>34553615
False, c has only been a mistake and the one to discard and remove like a cancer.

my personality sucks, i get jealous easily, and i struggle to breathe air 99% of the time. so why does my fucking girlfriend even like me???? i can't even connect with anyone outside of IRC because those are the only people who are as insane and fucked up as i am.

It's not my fault, and I don't want to blame you. You live your life, and I was just a part of it, you aren't what I am and I'm not what you are. You leave and stay like s ghost, you speak but your words never feel sincere because you always lie, you close off from so much and deny your decisions. Shame is what I inherited from you, and anger at myself for not being able to feel my breath and heartbeat, without thinking about how trapped all of this feels. And you're not even here.

C was a mistake and I feel suffocated trapped in perpetual uncomfortable anxiety of where I actually want to be right now.

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ah yes, another decade of sitting alone behind my computer hiding from the real world

>>34554399
Ignore it, let them believe it.

>>34554614
Believe what?
I'm actually really slow, I constantly make mistakes, when I meet new people they treat me like a normal person at first but then the usual happens

>>34554225
I'm from latin america and migrated to europe because I felt like I didn't belong there, my quality of life has improved a lot, but I still suffer from the same social shotcomings I had back there, still I would not go back for the reasons I said above and because people are actually kind and honest here.

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>Facebook reels - you ain't got shit to do, youre unemployed, so youre going to learn a shitload about Anne Boleyn today
Whatever

>>34554644
She actually smiled at the crowd before her head was cut off. Apparently haunts bootyhole hall or some shit floating around looking for her head or carrying it. But thats been seen since like the 1500s so who the fuck am I to say its not legit.

Never been to England, but dont have that much interest.

I'm practically retarded. I have not the slightest clue what I am doing with my life.

Learning C the programming language. Hopefully this goes somewhere lol (it won't [or will it?]).

I'm ruined. I'm alchemically out of wack. I'm honing nothing discernable, and so I'm confused, without direction.

>>34554637
I can't stand my literally autistic coworker talking non stop about some stupid shit like Homestuck that he's obsessed with, he's also super rude lol
It doesn't help that he can't speak right and keeps going in circles when he's trying to tell something.

I'm probably quite a confusing, dissapointing, and perplexing creature.

>28yo male kissless virgin, got into art lately
>going to a croquis session tomorrow
>feel as giddy as an adolescent boy at my first time seeing a naked lady irl
slightly pathetic I know. Way better than it being a whorehouse or strip club at least.
God I hope the model isn't old or fat

>>34554686
You will find people like that everywhere

Schizophrenia is often just intimacy with interface of reality, and that's a hard thing to explain. You'll find the excalubur there. I know it because I've encountered it multiple times and watched reality play out accordingly. Normalfaggotry is a decision, a choice.

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Mfw I've been consistently reaching my weekly weight loss targets but it's gonna be months before it actually shows

>>34554740
It will be more "permanent" this way.

>>34553556

I wish I didn't miss her but I do, therapy isn't helping it at all

I think it's going to be pretty good.

sometimes you think the wrong thing