It's me again. I made a post a week or two ago. 34/m met a 18/f on /soc/ in an adopt a neet thread. We hit it off well, and after 2~3 weeks of talking I decided I wanted to fly her out here. However, today after discussing it with my older brother, he convinced me to cancel the flight and talk to her for another month or two to get to know her better. He had a lot of good points, like my step-dad still being on my lease as a co-signer, and him helping me out financially. Not to mention if she did turn out bat shit crazy I would have a hard time getting her evicted. Or worse yet she could conspire some evil plot and try to get me in trouble with the law. I don't know why she would, but yeah.We have talked a lot, and I really do like her brain, we connect well mentally. Honestly I feel like garbage cancelling on her, and even with post-nut clarity I write this feeling bummed still. I guess my advice/question is, when is it acceptable to bring it up again you think to my brother and possibly rest of family? Is the age gap too big? I mean he's older than me in my 40's and even he admitted he set his age slider to 18 on dating apps. Other than my brother though, my only remaining family will be dead in 10~ years, so who's happiness really matters most?She was obviously upset I cancelled the flight, but is now determined to find her own way to me, which just makes me feel more awful. I honestly feel like I struck gold with her and the situation is lame and gay. A few months of continuous talking, that would be fine, no normie could scoff at that right? I agree now flying a girl you only know for less than 1 month is a bit crazy. But 2~3 months? More reasonable, yes?Last time, a lot of you guys basically said exactly the same thing my brother told me. So I'm looking for feedback from people who called me irresponsible and retarded before.
I think you need to live for yourself, Anon.Obviously screen for crazy, but if you really feel like you click with this girl that intensely, I think you should at least try to meet. Maybe try to find a middle ground where you go somewhere together for a weekend or something so as to not involve the house if that is your biggest concern? Also regarding any legal aspects, make sure to back up your chat logs with her just in case maybe.
>>34554273Why don't YOU go visit HER? That way you can control getting away if she turns out to be a mistake.
>>34554414this. what kind of retard moves in with someone before even seeing the person in person
>>34554466I watched a lot of 90 days fiance show on Alinity's stream and she told me "go for it", so given she's a rich woman I kinda believed her
she says she is going to try and ride a bus or get her own flight to me now so idk we'll see how it goes>>34554343I really do, honestly it sounds crazy but I almost feel like I'm in love with her. I'm not concerned but my brother said "just write it out on paper" and it sounds crazy. No one normal (my entire family basically) would think it was acceptable. Not that it would matter in the long run.>>34554466Retards like me, duh.
>adopt a neetMan, my 24 year old cousin could use that.She's a cute 24 year old with mommy, self esteem, and coping issues that works at the local card shop and likes kirby, darksouls, and cheesy horror films.She would never go for that though, because her daddy takes care of her and has no spine.Anyways. OP, how about you get a hotel and visit her for a week. Spend time with a person irl before moving in with them.A lot of the mail order bride services even do this now where you visit their country first for a bit.
>>34554784>works at the local card shopfor how long? and she hasn't been hit on or asked on a date? or she just rejects them cause the 'tism?
>>34554874Never been on a date because extreme tism and social anxiety.It'd be hilarious to watch a sweaty nerd try and hit on her.
Don't be a little bitch. You planned to do something so do it, it may have consequences and you can deal with them if they arise.
>>34554273>>34554690The men who succeed in life and get what they want don't tend to ask for permission. If you wanted to meet her why are you letting your brother influence your decision? If she turns out to be a mistake just kick her out and block her on everything. I really don't see the problem here.I mean you've struck gold getting a fucking 18 year old interested in you, especially if she isn't fat and is decently attractive.
>>34554972>If you wanted to meet her why are you letting your brother influence your decision?because he financially supports me and it's unfair to him to invite a person to live with me while I can't even live on my own without my brother (at least not where I currently live)>just kick her outeviction laws are complicated here, I mean at worst I'd be paying for an apartment for a few months until lease expiresshe is attractive and fit, and I do feel like I struck gold, which is probably why he thinks this is a "too good to be true" situation... she's just desperate to escape and I was the 2nd guy to msg her
>>34554273Either you go visit her or you meet her halfway and travel somewhere together to meet.This isn't remotely similar to what you did because everyone was in their 30's, but my friend met a guy from Eastern Europe on a dating app. Rather than traveling to visit the other, they both flew out to Spain to meet each other. They didn't travel alone- he flew out with his brother, she flew out with her best friend. This way they both had someone they trusted on the trip. They're since married (after a total of 3 visits, the latter two lasting over a month), but it goes to show there are reasonable precautions you should take when meeting someone you met online.
you dont build a relationship on a severe lack of trust 18 year olds are stupid, not evil, and the biggest mistake shes making is you
>>34554273>Is the age gap too big?Yes, much too big, but that's the least of your problems. Moving in with someone you've never even met is insane. And until you have met her and spent some time with her in real life, what could she possibly say to you that will make a difference? Anything she says could be a lie and you'd have no way of knowing.
>>3455497218 year olds don't know shit about life. They're not "gold"
She dodged a bullet.Be your own person.
>>34554273AHahahah fuck these bitter old women ITT >nooooOOOoooo you have to do things THIS WAY!!! noo you can't move in yet nooooFollow your heart OP. Fuck what anyone else thinks. The only people that will complain about an age gape is old women (who gives a literal fuck what they think) and men that want to fuck those women so they'll just go along with whatever they say.
Following this thread cause I’m currently dating a 19 year old and pushing 30. Our situations aren’t similar at all tho. I met her IRL locally and we just hang out a couple times a week. Honestly I forget the age gap all the time but when I’m reminded I do get some anxiety and guilt over it.
>>34557373>I do get some anxiety and guilt over it.Stop giving a shit about what other people think. They're normalfags
>>34556785OP here, I'm not sure I should take advice from a namefag called "big dick daddy">>34557341my older brother is the r*ddit liberal type so I think that is where most of his fears are coming from... he tells me to flake on this girl and that it's crazy and a bad idea while he then goes on to talk about how he's dating ANOTHER immigrant girl that barely speaks english>>34557373I'm a manchild, I won't deny it. Sometimes I mentally feel like I haven't matured beyond the age of my mid 20's or something. Maybe it's just my over active imagination... In the end you're both consenting adults and no one can do anything about it. As long as you are both happy nothing else matters. Only older women and jealous men will seethe.
