To anyone here who wants to get married -but isn't-:Why do you want to get married?I'm just trying to get some perspective. I don't want to, but everyone around me treats it like a given thing.
>>34554565I would really like to spend the rest of my life in a loving relationship and I am Christian, so I believe that relationship should also be a sacramental union
>>34554565I ask myself the opposite question. 5 years into a relationship with a girl that cares for me, cooks, cleans, studied to get a decent job....but why don't I want to get married still? Sure seems like the logical next step but it feels so distant to my reality
I want to have kids, create community, have people I can invest time/effort into without questioning if I'm wasting everything. without a (serious) marriage this isn't really possible IMO. I'm also pretty tribal regardless and there aren't many places where I can be tribal nowadays
actually idk if I would even say tribal but its hard to get literally anything reciprocated. At least with kids I don't expect it to be reciprocated so I will probably be happy if they just make the most of it and watch them do something they like
>>34559035Tax benefitsEase of visitation if they end up in the hospital in a coma
>>34559035Also, she'll have the same last name as your children, pretty important for some peopleKind of the main reason I got married, but I now regret it: I know many men who got marriage raped, I'm afraid even if everything's great for now
>>34554565Marriage doesn't really mean anything to this day, a 10+ year relationship "feels" the same as a marriage, and people do have kids while "not being legally together" depending of whose relationship you see as an example.In the past marriage was a tool to unite families, but as we've become more individual-focused it has lost this purpose.It's very personal, but I view it as a feat of ultimate trust and devotion to eachother to culminate as one.It's the ultimate spiritual, legal, and personal union between two people, when marriage occurs you aren't "two individuals who are together" anymore, you are essentially a new person, kind of like a Power Ranger mech that fused.You don't really "need" to be married to behave as if you were married, but marriage is essentially what declares that you aren't two individuals anymore, but one.I think thats why so many marriages fail to this day, they keep the "we are two individuals with different needs and there are some that we can't settle" mentality instead of the "we are two individuals with different needs, and we are gonna balance them between ourselves so the mech on the outside can keep running".
>>34554565It might have been good because all I have left is my elderly mom till she's ded and then I won't have a family
>>34554565To have a beautiful and lively ceremony, to honor a human tradition, and to get legal recognition for whatever reasons.
>>34560139>It's the ultimate spiritual, legal, and personal union between two people, when marriage occurs you aren't "two individuals who are together" anymore, you are essentially a new person, kind of like a Power Ranger mech that fused.That's retarded because in reality there are power dynamics to every relationship and marriage just shifts the power in the woman's favor. Marriage would make sense if it was just a formal social gathering, but instead it's a sacrifice humiliation ritual for the man and a way for the woman to be guaranteed a positive outcome for her no matter what she does.
>>34560719You clearly didn't see that this is my personal view on marriage, clearly on my situation there aren't power dynamics as we both stand on equal footing.Even so, it is only a "humiliation ritual" if you are a selfish moron that thinks loosing power against someone you love is bad. Equal power forces you to be better, ofc that if you only want to maximize your own pleasure you never loved them in the first place.
>>34561359Equal footing lol
>>34554565>Why do you want to get married?Human beings are born with desire, attraction, jealousy, possessiveness, fear of abandonment, and the urge for novelty. Beavers build dams. Ants build colonies. Humans build institutions. None of these things are separate from nature. They are nature expressing itself through the capacities of a species. A courtroom is as human as a termite mound is termite. A marriage ceremony, strange as it may appear, could be interpreted not as a rejection of nature, but as one of nature's highest and most complicated expressions through human beings.
>>34554565We have helped each other a lot, even wen it was tiring. She relies a lot on me to manage her emotions, and she supports me and my stupid modus vivendi.I think we work great together as a team, and we want to have children because we love life.So maybe marriage is the best option, for the both of us and for our future chilldren.Straigth couple, both 24, Spaniards, somewhat traditionalist values
>>34554565Very specifically, I want children. I'm happy being independent and navigating life without anyone else, and the various girlfriends I've had all slowed me down and got in my way, so I didn't feel a need to get married for companionship or support. I'm finally in a stable place with a job I like that I feel like I couldn't have gotten had I married earlier. Now I can finally slow down a bit and make time for a family. Too bad I'm too old for that now. I don't even know what kind of wife I'd want, but I just know that I want children. I want to raise them well and teach them what I know and pass on what I have to them. I want to watch them grow and achieve.
