How to become social and make a friend? Am 28. All of my friends were online, but I got a job and have had no time to talk. Friendships drifted. Feel lonely. Forgot how to talk to people. Any time someone talks to me, I get this feeling, "what's the point of carrying on the conversation?" Talking to anyone is exhausting. Constantly in my own world. Anything anyone talks about that doesn't relate to what I'm thinking about feels pointless to engage in. I end up coming off as cold and irritated. It takes a lot of effort to pretend to care what people are saying to me. I can do it for a little while. I wish I actually cared. I feel so selfish. I hate it. If social interaction drains me so much, then why am I so lonely? Kinda shit is this?
>>34560988this sounds like itll be a nice thread, bumping
>>34560988>>34561068>how to be social?>proceeds to describe how social interactions feel pointless, draining, boring and outright says that it's hard to care>uhh but I'm lonely bros what to do? These silly threads with an overly contradictory premise are some of the worst from this board
>>34561234No shit, the contradiction is why I am so bothered. If there was no contradiction, I wouldn't post asking for advice.>How to fix car?>Car doesn't work, does not drive>I want my car to work, what do?How contradictory!
>>34560988To become social and make a friend you have to actually be social, there's no shortcut.You have to do the thing to get the thing.And the doing is finding something that interests you that involves being around people, it doesn't have to mean going to the club. It can be anything.>But anon, I can't be cause of xyzLike I said, you have to do the thing. You can make all the excuses in the world, but if you don't get out there and do it, it won't happen, you won't get better at it and you will have to find a way to cope with it, which all can be avoided by just doing the thing.>I end up coming off as cold and irritated.This is just your nervous system being dysreegulated, there's many things you can do for that, body based therapies really helped me (breathwork) along with talk therapy, it can be a lot of money to seek different kind of therapy but it can pay dividends, but the absolute best way to regulate in uncomfortable, unfamilar environemnts is to immerse yourself in them.
>>34560988Meet neighbors, co-workers, churchmates, local shopkeepers, etc. Join a club, gym, team, class.You don't make friends. You make acquaintances, people you know well enough to say Hi to. Over time some evolve to the stop-and-chat level, and some of those to arrange-to-meet-up level.
So basically, my attitude is shitty because I'm lonely. I'm lonely because I'm shitty. It's a pit I didn't even realize I was in because I was able to keep myself occupied mostly. But it's not enough.
bump
