This all happened a year ago and it still stings>be a retard with nothing going on in my life>hate living>thinking about killing myself>friend starts giving me attention>realize that I actually look forward to talk to him>life starts revolving around that friend >become ultra clingy>ask him to do stuff with me>he rarely agrees>one day i ask him to do some stuff ans spend some time with me>of course he turns me down>log into my alt account pretending to be another person>ask him to do the exact same stuff with me but in that alt>he agrees without thinking twice>have a meltdown at him because of that, but my melty was basically just me repeatedly apologizing to him and crying and repeatedly asking him not to abandon me>he tells me it's okay ans nothing's changed >now, almost a year later, I still think about how, despite him calling me his best friend, he'd prioritize randos over me>it still stings a lot and I still think about it on a daily basisI don't wanna make it uncomfortable for both of us, as I'd be sperging over something that happened almost a year ago, but the fact that I've never vented about him calling me his "friend above all else" while he'd gladly turn me down to do the same things he'd do with me but with randos still hurts a lot.. I don't understand, does he see his "friend above all else" as less than randos? It hurts cause it's not about talking to different people, its about avoiding me at all costs, as he'd gladly keep talking to my alt if he didn't know it was me. I know he sees me as a friend, otherwise he'd have abandoned me long ago, wouldn't help me whenever i ask him to, wouldn't have spent my birthday/Christmas with me and even get me gifts, wouldn't message me every day, but this still stings, I don't understand. I'm not off my meds, I'm happy to have him as my friend, but I don't understand why does that weighs so much in my headAnyway sorry if I couldn't word it properly my head is still fucky from thinking about it
>>34562133Get over it. Either drop it or drop him, but don't keep obsessing about it
>>34562133I think your framing of this as "he prefers randos to me" is really unhealthy. You already said you were really clingy (and probably kinda annoying), he probably just wanted some time with someone who wasn't superclingy and anxious. That atmosphere is stressful.
>>34562133>now, almost a year later, I still think about how, despite him calling me his best friend, he'd prioritize randos over meCut him off. He is not your friend.
>>34562133Friendship doesn't mean you are prioritized above all others, there are lots of times that I prefer to interact with randoms over my friends - interactions with randoms are no strings attached, you can cut them whenever, you can have fun presenting yourself however you want, etc.Since you were being ultra clingy he probably felt claustrophobic and wanted some easier interaction - just because he couldn't mirror the level of energy you were putting into him doesn't mean he doesn't like you. In the end, you know he likes you, you know that he is your friend, you just need to get comfortable with the fact that people need space sometimes.I'm BPD so I have had this experience many times :p
>>34562771>Friendship doesn't mean you are prioritized above all othersDude, you're ignoring the fact that a random person OP's friend never even met was prioritized over OP. If anything, this person clearly does not likes OP.
>>34562783this is too retarded for me to even respond to read my comment again without sperging out at the first sentence
>>34562771>I'm BPDYeah, this checks out.
>>34562133Don’t really understand
Clingyness puts pressure on the other person to support you and turns casual friendship into a commitment the other person didn't ask for. That puts people off and is a bit unfair, even if the reason for understandable.
