When we first started dating I thought she was just shy and understandably valued he friends and family first. Yet after even being officially together she almost always flakes on plans we have, she's always tired or her friends or family suddenly decides they want to spend time and that takes precedent over our plans. I've tried talking to her about how I wish we'd spend more time together and how it hurts me that she always bails, but she's gotten mad every time and I end up feeling bad for upsetting her. I guess I just don't understand how she can say all these amazing things about how I make her feel, what I've done for her mental health, yet I'm the least important thing in her life.
not advice, but i'm going through the same thing. it must be in our hearts.
>>34562271So leave her. What's the point of staying?
>>34563042Because I still love her, and want to believe she's going through a tough time in her life. And also because every relationship I've before ended quickly and the women I've been with in the past always turned out to be using me to fill a temporary need for attention. As far as I know, she does care about me, and I don't want to give up the one woman who has ever potentially loved me. Especially when I'm ugly and would be alone likely forever if I leave her.
>>34563068>want to believe she's going through a tough time in her lifeIf she picked going out with friends instead of going out with you, how is that a "tough time"? You're just coping.
Are you unintentionally being offensive when you bring up these feelings to her? Does she give any reasoning for why those plans take precedent over yours?If she gets upset when you try to talk things through, it's hard to see how this relationship can work in the long term.
>>34563068>Because I still love her, and want to believe she's going through a tough time in her life.That's retarded. You should never waste your life hoping someone will change.
>>34562271Leave, my ex was the same and what finally took the veil off is when she flat out stated she didn't like showing me affection. Alright bitch got it and noted and I broke up with her, but prior to that she did all the shit you're describing. Any plan I made was whatever (Late, "oh I was doing something", just plain forgot) and literally every other person was more important than me (parents, my parents, her friends, even her fucking cat)Dont stay with a person like that OP, I never felt more alone in my own relationship and while I do miss her, I cant allow her to come back without actually showing she gives a honest fuck which she has shown many times she does not. It even got me to the point I started just becoming a straight up asshole and I hate that towards someone I'm supposed to love.
>>34563121I know it probably is,>>34563199>>34563200She kinda is my life. I don't really care about myself very much, I only try to succeed so that I can hopefully earn a nice life for her. I mentioned earlier too that I'd likely be SOL if I left her. 'Just leave her' would be the same as throwing my whole life away.
>>34563263I mean at that point its on you dude, why are you even here? Go be miserable if that's what you want truly
>>34563263>She kinda is my life. I don't really care about myself very much, I only try to succeed so that I can hopefully earn a nice life for her. I mentioned earlier too that I'd likely be SOL if I left her. 'Just leave her' would be the same as throwing my whole life away.The problem is that women hate that and you're basically guaranteeing horrible outcomes with this mindset.
>>34563270I'm aware I'm coming off as uncooperative, but I'm more just hesistant to go "You're righy, I'm gonna go dump her now." I think I'm half here hoping I'll learn some secret to finding out what's got her distant and half here to face the fact that she probably doesn't actually care for me.>>34563275I don't really know any other mindset, and it's not something I woke up and chose on a whim; I am utterly lacking in any ambition for myself. Whenever I try to act in my own self interest, I'm unsatisfied and people often react far more poorly to it. I want to change myself but I don't know how to.
>>34563286>I don't really know any other mindset, and it's not something I woke up and chose on a whim; I am utterly lacking in any ambition for myself. Whenever I try to act in my own self interest, I'm unsatisfied and people often react far more poorly to it. I want to change myself but I don't know how to.The other mindset is that you have a mission that's more important than the woman. They love that.
>>34563303The idea that I need to act selfishly and cast aside the one person that is supposed to be the one most important in my life is foreign to me. I know if a lady cared about me the way I try to care for others, I would be head over heels. How does not prioritizing someone make them like you? Like I said before, I've tried working for myself before and it's only made things worse. Am I doing something wrong?
>>34563360>The idea that I need to act selfishly and cast aside the one person that is supposed to be the one most important in my life is foreign to me. I know if a lady cared about me the way I try to care for others, I would be head over heels. How does not prioritizing someone make them like you?You're saying this stuff but your results speak for themselves. What you're doing isn't working and for some reason you're continuing to defend this failing mindset as though you believe it's right.The way that men think and the way that women think are not the same, at all. Women want the man to lead and they want to be along for the ride, they don't want to be the ride.
>>34562271>When we first started dating I thought she was just shy and understandably valued he friends and family first. True>Yet after even being officially together she almost always flakes on plans we have, she's always tired or her friends or family suddenly decides they want to spend time and that takes precedent over our plans.Should be "and".>>34563360You're a simp and gay, needy and feminine, raised by a single mother or no dad. continue to continue your road to cuckery if you don't know how to change
>>34563366I'm defending it on the basis that it only makes sense in my eyes, not because I devoutly "know" that it could only ever be right and that any other thinking is 100% wrong.>>34563371>simp and gayLow quality bait.
>>34563421>I'm defending it on the basis that it only makes sense in my eyes, not because I devoutly "know" that it could only ever be right and that any other thinking is 100% wrong.It doesn't make sense from the perspective of evolutionary biology. A man is supposed to be hunting while the woman is gathering. If the man gives up on hunting to take care of his woman then obviously it would lead to having less food.
>>34563433I'm not saying I want to give up providing, I think I made it clear of the opposite. I push myself to work long, hard hours, because I want to provide for her. How is doing so not compatible with the mindset of putting her above myself?
>>34563421You are the definition of a simp, and fatherless retard too.
>>34563457>I push myself to work long, hard hours, because I want to provide for her. How is doing so not compatible with the mindset of putting her above myself?You're doing it for her which makes her the mission. Plus, she doesn't even want to spend time with you, which makes it even worse because you're accepting her nonsense.
