How can I come to terms with my ugliness?
the world is perfectly imperfect
>>34562368Be smart, or successful, or rich, or interesting, or just a nice guy.
>>34563011I like how you casually cropped out the 2 ft long x 1 inch wide scar down her arm.
>>34563011uglies can rest easy knowing they can statusmaxx for sid the sloth kek
>>34563031
>>34562944Should ugly guys just give up? They wont find true love like Quasimodo didnt.
A lot of podcasters will tell you that being ugly means you have no chance at anything, but life offers a lot of goodness, even to the fattest and the ugliest of us. Don't get a victim complex and don't start blaming "your ugliness" for all your problems, it ruins all your chances at happiness. If you assume that everyone hates you by default, you will eventually start to act hateful yourself and by that point you will be truly insufferable. Pretty privilege is real, but people don't look at you or dislike you as much as you think. The way you look is just the first impression, and one can find many ways to make up for it. Practical advice: You can't change your bone structure, but you are in control of other things relating to your appearance. Customize. Don't dress like an NPC. Buy clothes you like. Wearing a nice outfit that fits your fashion style can greatly improve your self confidence. Same thing with a nice haircut and a quality perfume. Good hygiene and self care rituals also make A WORLD of difference in helping you accept / love yourself. (I know from experience). If your brain notices you taking control of your appearance, and taking care of yourself regularly, it will stop being so harsh. Try not to obsess over the things you consider ugly. Don't look all day in the mirror or get really close to it (if that's a problem) but also don't avoid mirrors entirely. Focus on the things you like about yourself, or just let yourself be. Remember that you are equal to everyone else out there, you have done nothing wrong, you shouldn't be ashamed. And finally, just be friendly and allow yourself to have fun! Even if self conscious, you mustn't start isolating yourself or stay inside all day. Strangers don't give a fuck about how you look, and the very few people who would avoid befriending someone for simply being chopped aren't worth being friends with anyway.
>>34563132>QuasimodoOne of the blackest pills from childhood. I genuinely thought I was the only one who ever stopped to think about that. The ending always stayed with me in a strange way. Everyone celebrates, the music swells, the bells ring across Paris like some triumphant hymn, yet Quasimodo still ends up alone, watching happiness happen around him instead of with him. As a child, you do not fully understand why that feeling lingers in your chest like cold iron. When you get older, you realize the story was quietly telling you something cruel about the world.They eventually made a sequel trying to fix his situation, but by then it felt artificial, almost desperate. Like the writers suddenly realized people had noticed the bitterness hidden beneath the fairy tale and tried to patch it over with forced optimism. The original ending, painful as it was, at least felt honest. The sequel felt like someone painting over a crack in a cathedral wall and pretending the stone underneath was never broken.
>>34562368>How can I come to terms with my ugliness?To chain your peace to what you cannot fundamentally command is to volunteer for misery.Human desire itself is the true torment. We suffer because we compare, crave, pursue, and hunger endlessly. The ugly man suffers because he wants beauty or validation. The beautiful man suffers because he fears losing it. The admired woman suffers because admiration is unstable. The wheel keeps turning.Fall in love with life itself, loving life itself bypasses all of this.
>>34563243Yeah, some people don't get to have le happy endings. But of course that the terminally online have to label a trivial information like this as some sort of obscure hidden truth that was being gatekept by the hecking normies.
>>34563132Dudes like the Phantom of the Opera might have lost the girl in the book, but there's a ton of female fans drooling over them on the internet, so that's gotta mean something. Irl, many women will give ugly guys a chance, if > They don't smell bad (basic hygiene, decent clothes, etc) > They're not incel stereotypes> Are genuinely good people If you blame all your dating fails on being ugly, then you won't account for and fix other problems about yourself and the way you approach women. And if you give up, you'll be even more convinced that you never stood a chance, when that might not be true at all.
>>34563250I think it's worth to add that if 'ugly' people still exist, it's probably because somehow 'ugly' genes are still being passed down.
>>34563249Nobody is claiming there is some secret council of "normies" hiding the fact that life is unfair. That is of course a strawman. The point is that stories, especially the ones we absorb as children, communicate far more than their surface plot. The subconscious does not speak in spreadsheets or literal statements. It speaks in symbols, emotional patterns, archetypes, images that linger long after the credits roll.People remember Quasimodo because he embodies something ancient and painfully human. The outcast who saves everyone yet remains outside the circle. The man who is seen only when he is useful. The soul trapped behind an appearance the world cannot love.When I was younger, I did not consciously analyze any of this. I just felt a strange sadness at the ending without understanding why. That is exactly how symbolism works. The subconscious notices before the intellect does. A child often understands emotional truth long before they can articulate it philosophically.
1/2>>34563250>picrelatedHe is not even that much ugly, he is probably a 4/10, maybe a 5/10. His wife was Argentinian, from a 3rd world country. I do not want to be an asshole, however, you should understand the message in this.>>34563254>I think it's worth to add that if 'ugly' people still exist, it's probably because somehow 'ugly' genes are still being passed down.This makes no sense whatsoever. I think that argument is absurdly simplistic. The existence of "ugly" people does not prove that ugliness was historically attractive. Reproduction was never a pure meritocracy of beauty. For most of history, survival came before desire.Marriage existed partly as a social cage around sexual selection. One man could not openly monopolize every woman without destabilizing society itself, so civilizations imposed structure, duty, religion, and economic obligation onto mating. A woman’s survival was historically tied to resources, protection, family alliances, inheritance, and stability, not merely physical attraction. Many settled because life punished romantic idealism with starvation, isolation, or death. The peasant woman marrying the unattractive farmer was not necessarily expressing primal desire. She was choosing shelter against the storm of existence.Even myths reveal this contradiction unconsciously. The moral stories preached virtue, humility, and inner goodness, yet fantasy itself kept projecting the same image repeatedly: the tall prince, the warrior, the beautiful conqueror riding beneath banners and sunlight. The subconscious always betrayed what civilization publicly tried to moralize away. Human beings can lecture against superficiality for ten thousand years and still instinctively sculpt their heroes like gods.
2/2>>34563273Modernity dissolved many of the old restraints. Marriage lost its sacred and economic inevitability. Female survival no longer depends on attachment to a man. Communities dissolved into individuals. Religion weakened. Purity before marriage became socially irrelevant outside isolated religious environments. Desire became less negotiated by duty and more exposed in its raw form.People romanticize the past because they confuse enforced pairing with universal desirability. They imagine every man once had equal romantic access simply because most eventually married. But many historical marriages were social arrangements, economic necessities, or quiet resignations to circumstance. Civilization covered biological reality with ritual, obligation, and morality like velvet draped over iron chains. Now the velvet is rotting away, and people are shocked to see the metal underneath.
>>34563273>The existence of "ugly" people does not prove that ugliness was historically attractive. Reproduction was never a pure meritocracy of beautyWhich wasn't really the point I was trying to make, but more so about the acknowledgement that ugly people(even in modern times, apparently) still get to find validation and romantic success for whatever reason. For example, if OP, presumably born in the 21st century, is capable of whining about how ugly (s)he is on the internet, we can deduce that's the result of his ugly parents reproducing. Also, you implied that the ugly dude there >>34563250 only managed to do so because some whore from the third world wanted a green card. It may be true, but at least that guy will probably stop bitching on the internet about being ugly and not getting pussy, so he may consider it a success. I'll not comment on the contradiction that you pointed out between moral stories and fictional works, although it seems an interesting topic, doesn't sound relevant to thread at all. Also, why Schopenhauer? So many cool philosophers. He's like /lit/ meets old /r9k/
>>34562368There is no shame in being born ugly, but there is shame in being depressed over it, which can ruin your life if you fall too deep into that holeThe best thing you can do is accept it and not get obsessed over what others think. If you're a nice, friendly, fun guy who doesn't let their appearance stop them from having fun, and are good at helping others, then they won't judge you for your appearance but for who you are instead And like what >>34563213 said, you can't change bone structure, and don't you ever, EVER be one of those paranoid insecure whackos who get plastic surgery after noticing the left side of their jawline is a tiny, tiny, tiny itch too high or smacking their face with a hammer Wear clothes that suit you, get a decent haircut, and use a good body spray for hygiene. Clothes and self-care make things way more easier
>>34563254Brilliant, I'll be quoting this a lot in the future.
1/2>>34563299>you implied that the ugly dude there only managed to do so because some whore from the third world wanted a green cardI never called her a whore. I do not know her personally, therefore I cannot judge her character. When she married him, Argentina was going through one of the worst economic crises in its history. People were starving. There were even stories of people robbing dogs, cats, and pigeons for food. She may very well have married him as a way to escape poverty and instability. I do not even see anything morally wrong with that. Throughout most of human history, marriage was tied to survival long before it was tied to romance. As long as both sides fulfill their duties toward one another, I see no issue.>ugly people(even in modern times, apparently) still get to find validation and romantic success for whatever reason. For example, if OP, presumably born in the 21st century, is capable of whining about how ugly (s)he is on the internet, we can deduce that's the result of his ugly parents reproducingThe collapse of marriage as an institution did not happen uniformly across the world. People speak as though all societies dissolved into modern hyper individualism simultaneously, but reality is far more uneven than that. In many places, traditional expectations surrounding marriage, duty, family, economics, religion, and stability still persist to varying degrees.And even where marriage has weakened culturally, practical marriages still occur constantly. Economic desperation, social pressure, loneliness, aging, family expectations, migration, security, and the fear of isolation still drive human relationships. The marriage I mentioned earlier is an example of precisely that. Human beings do not suddenly stop behaving according to material necessity simply because modern culture declares itself romantic and liberated.
2/2>>34563343>at least that guy will probably stop bitching on the internet about being ugly and not getting pussy, so he may consider it a successTrue. The point is that he is living inside an illusion, and even that fragile illusion is accessible only to a very small number of people under very particular conditions.That is what many refuse to accept. They point toward exceptions as though exceptions invalidate broader patterns. A starving man finding crumbs beneath the table does not disprove hunger. Likewise, one unattractive man finding conditional affection through economic stability, social circumstance, desperation, or geography does not suddenly erase the underlying realities of attraction.>why Schopenhauer?Because I like him. He looked at life without decorating it with comforting illusions, and I prefer that kind of sincerity over artificial optimism. He also died lonely, and in many ways that is the path I have chosen for myself as well.
>Society overvalues beauty.>got plastic surgery>instant boost in social statusImagine if we were judged by metrics I couldn't easily buy
>>34563343What would you suggest to someone who is truly ugly? Painfully hideous, should that person give up on love? And if so, how can they fight the urge to not go down the hedonistic self-destructive spiral or end their lives altogether?
>>34563644>What would you suggest to someone who is truly ugly? Painfully hideous, should that person give up on love?Fall in love with life itself. Loving life can bypass much of this pain. It can be something as simple as listening to music while walking outside on a warm afternoon, feeling the sun on your skin and the breeze in the air. Calling someone you genuinely enjoy talking to. Rewatching a movie that still means something to you years later. Learning a new language little by little. Studying a subject that sparks your curiosity. Watching the sky change colors at sunset. Traveling somewhere unfamiliar and experiencing a different way of living. Life is built from small moments, and there are countless experiences that exist outside of romance.If you still want to have a romantic relationship, then realistically, your options are limited. You either settle for someone within your own league, or you try to improve what you can through "looksmaxing", staying fit, improving your appearance, or even surgery. Some surgeries are genuinely worth it and can make a huge difference. But surgery is a gamble too. You could end up dissatisfied, damage your face further, or simply discover that some things cannot be fixed because of genetics or bone structure. Not everyone has the money for it either.
>>34563688Well, complementing what I said, of course, even after doing all of this, you have to accept a harsh truth: nobody owes anyone love, acceptance, kindness, or understanding. None of these things are guaranteed. Not even tomorrow itself is guaranteed. That sounds bleak, but there is freedom in understanding it. Once you stop expecting life to hand you meaning, you can start building meaning for yourself instead of waiting for others to validate your existence.
>>34563250>Are genuinely good peopleThat makes an extremely small number of ugly people to remain good despite being treated like trash.
>>34565422>That makes an extremely small number of ugly people to remain good despite being treated like trash.I disagree, a lot of ugly people I knew were nice despite being treated badly. I guess it really depends, but there is truth in what you said, life is a feedback loop, and unfortunately, ugly people are treated badly since childhood, then they act badly, and are punished for it. It is no wonder many villains are depicted with an ugly face. Life is truly tragic.
