How do you get used to the idea of being alone, and even come to like it?I'm not going to be single permanently, but I've given most of my time in uni to relationships and they just haven't been very good. I tend to fumble sane girls and end up with girls with mental issues. That probably says as much about me as it does them.Anyway to get back onto my point, when I'm in a relationship all I want is to be single, and when I'm single all I want to is to be in a relationship. I'm not happy either way. I'm about to have a very difficult year and I need to be mentally clear. How do you find peace in being alone? All I can think about at the moment is going on dates etc. It's driving me crazy.The only thing that relieves it is masturbation but of course that's bad for the soul- it leaves me drained and apathetic.
>>34563106>when I'm in a relationship all I want is to be single, and when I'm single all I want to is to be in a relationshipI've got the same problem. Dating was fun, just the casual getting to know each other stage. I wonder if I had just done that without looking for "the one," would I be happy? The normie advice is to learn to love/date yourself. I wonder if there's something to that.
>>34563106I end up in relationships where I think we are a great match and after a while he starts ignoring my needs (if he ever cared or even at least pretended to) and becomes cold. At a certain point, the guy I date ends up trying to blame every issue on me, calling me names and degrating me. My problem with this is that n I am completely open and extremely honest - especially with my lover/partner. So me trying to be honest with open communication turns into me being a 'bitching gf' when allI want for him to understand why I feel the way I do.. to strengthen.
>>34563128You sound like my ex, which is why I left her, are you ignoring his needs? I started off very sweet and loving towards her, but it soured because she couldn't give a fuck to think past whatever emotion she was feeling so she became the "bitching gf". Always upset, never happy, always complaining about the state of me or the relationship. I just fully snapped when she started saying stupid shit like "You forced me into a relationship"/"I hate showing you affection sometimes"I'm not saying that was you, but sometimes a person thinks they're being loving/caring when in reality they're just a massive headache and everyone can see it but the person themselves.
>>34563106Well, I'd advise you to avoid becoming some sort of bitter hermit. I've never had a girlfriend—nor a social life for that matter, and, without noticing, loneliness has become a core aspect of my day-to-day life, thus, fucking me up in many ways.
>>34563259OP here on a different device.I'm sorry to hear about your experience :(That's not my plan at all. I just have a busy year ahead and don't see anyone in my circle as a potential lover. Because I'll be busy, I won't have much time to expand my horizons for a while
>>34563128OP here on a different device. First, I'm sorry to hear you went through that. He sounds like a real piece of shit.I've experienced similar as yourself. They always start out amazing and then if I don't always dance to their tune suddenly I'm stubborn and angry and have issues. One stalked me when I wouldn't take her back and threatened to kill herself. Funnily enough, nobody else in my life has ever had such complaints. I wonder is it an age thing? Like does this get better as we get older?
I find it so hard that you guys get relationships because I get nothing and I don't know how to get it and I'm 30. I'm in such a huge problem. Moved countries for my ex, was with her for 5 years, now I'm in the Netherlands, don't speak the language, still going to school here, meeting people but nothing happens with girls. Dating apps barely work and when they do it's just a date and a "you're nice but no"text right after and it just sucks. It's been 2 years. I have no idea what to do. I'm so desperate for any girl that'll care for me and want me :(https://youtu.be/h1BP5wWf4LcHere's a beautiful chud song for y'all, ode to yakubTo op, be happy and thankful that you can get girls. I live a very different reality from you. One where I feel barred from getting any girl IRL. I got my 2 girlfriends online, and I don't know how to do it irl. I'm so lost.
>>34563651It's very hard to meet people in the Netherlands or Germany. Have you tried sports clubs like tennis? Most socialising there happens over dedicated hobby/sports groups according to my German friends. Don't despair. You can do it!
>>34563651>I'm so desperateThey can smell it
>>34563844I know, and it makes it all the harder. I've gradually felt better over time as I got more opportunities as I lost weight, so I seem less desperate now, way less than before, but still it's not working. >>34563719Thank you my man :(I thought about tennis actually, or rowing something physical. Because indeed they are physical people everyone here does sports. I know that women who do sports can also have amazing personalities because I have a girl in my school who I'm good friends with for about a year and she's in the swimming club, and she's amazing. Thanks for the encouragement man.The other problem is that when I'm in a social situation that isn't a dating context I don't have the balls to use romantic language, I've never asked a girl out in a way that is clearly romantic, I've never asked a girl if she's single. Simultaneously, I have no problem going on a date or rizzing up a girl online, because that's safe. But irl, it always ends up feeling like "why would I bother her with this from out of NOWHERE?"And knowing that she'll say no preemptively. And also having low self esteem which makes me think "am I even worth this girl?" While others somehow make it. What a huge problem. Huge huge problem. Sport club is actually one of the only things I still didn't try, but I'm afraid of going in with the mindset of scouting for girls. It gives me anxiety. But I'll probably do at least ONE school club that is a sport club. Yeah. Thank you bro. If you can share more I'd appreciate it
