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For years now I've occasionally gotten into this mood where I'm badly yearning for something. It feels like there's something missing in my life, something awry, and it needs to be rectified but I don't know what it is exactly. Usually it happens when I'm listening to music, and often I get imagery from my childhood flowing through my mind when it's happening. Maybe I just want to go back to my childhood or something? But that's obviously impossible, so... I don't know. It feels like I've forgotten something dear and important to me but I can't figure out what it is, ugh.

Sorry this is so rambling and meandering but it's hard to put this all into words. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? Did you ever figure out what to do with these feelings?
>>
the search for meaning/purpose? yeah that's normal. you're supposed to do different things to figure out what that looks like for you
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>>34564778
you'll have to go back in time and figure out where you fucked up.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Af-k9sTAYEQ&ra=m
>>
>>34564838
>the search for meaning/purpose?
That might be it. It does feel like my life lacks meaning. Nothing seems "good enough" to be my purpose in life though, I crave something more grand than what this world can offer. Just doing normal things feels like it's never going to be enough...

>>34564874
Yes indeed
>>
>>34564778
What kind of music? That part made sense to me
>>
>>34567837
I guess it's upbeat, happy music? That's usually what I listen to. But often times it makes me cry for some reason.
>>
>>34567798
it means you were meant for something greater. you have to do it anon
>>
>>34567854
I need to look into it more, but some sounds or frequencies or whatever illicit strong emotions from people. Makes them really freaked out for whatever reason; it can be from a happy song like you said but sometimes a beat or rhythm or something in the songs hits your caveman brain in the right way and triggers some primal reaction. Maybe it comes from being able to recognize predator sounds. Or demons messing with your head.

https://youtu.be/hflx1fOZ9gg?si=r8jSutwi2yEcf3Sr
this song scares the hell outta me, I can hardly listen to it. it may be haunted.

https://youtu.be/lrDv6C7vOA8?si=zyXtlnDRuUKIKH7U
This album is certainly haunted. Don't listen, these links are just for situational awareness.
>>
>>34567862
Well I sure wish I knew what that greater thing was...

>>34567903
That's an interesting theory. I can't say the song you linked elicits any weird emotions in me though, just seems like a normal song. And the feeling of yearning I'm talking about in the OP happens without music too, it's just most commonly triggered by music, but it can happen without it too sometimes.
>>
>>34564778
Oh, this is a very cool thread, because I feel like I was in your exact position two years ago. I'd get this feeling all the time. The way you describe it in >>34567798 as "a craving for something more grand what the world could ever offer" sounds exactly like what I felt. A deep, primordial longing for something infinitely beautiful and infinitely important, lost forever a long time ago.

In the end, what finally satisfied it was developing deep, emotionally intimate friendships (kind of gay, but it turns out this is super important to your well-being). Friendship wasn't at all what I thought the solution would be - I thought for sure it would be something unimaginably large and transcendent, but nope, turns out I just needed deep and rewarding friendships.

I'm not sure if you'll believe me when I tell you friendship is the solution, because I've felt what you're feeling now, and when I did, I was certain it had to be bigger than that. But I promise you it really is as simple as friendship. The feeling misleads you with how deep it is.
>>
>>34571309
Thank you for the reply Anon! Maybe shounen anime were right all along... I think I believe you when you say friendship is the solution. I do find I have the desire for a sort of "us against the world" kind of friendship, it might be one of the only things in life I can see feeling truly meaningful. Unfortunately not sure if that's possible for me, I've had several what I thought to be deep friendships before but they all ended up fizzling out in the end. I'm pretty picky with who I find myself drawn to as well so it's not often I run across a person I'd want to be friends with. But hopefully I'll find something like that in the future...
>>
>>34571262
it will find you when it's time
>>
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>>34567798
It sounds like you're looking for something spiritual. You may get a lot out of studying Neoplatonism, if you enjoy reading. It's heavy with the theme of returning home to our true origin, the source of well-being and virtue itself.



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