guys i fucked up bad and im freaking out plus time is largely of the essence here and before you ask yes, i already tried looking up cat attracting methods on google and no they didnt work thats why im here because at least ill only lightly get made fun of. anyways long story short im very ocd about keeping my living spaces clean so much so that i dont even jerk off in my room so sometimes ill go into the kitchen to do my business when no ones home which is what i did the moment my family left about an hour ago and as i stood over the trash can about to nut, my sisters brand new cat (a fully black one i might add) decided to run upstairs to see what all the fuss and groaning was about and what i didnt anticipate in this moment was me having one of the greatest orgasms of my life to the point where my legs gave out which caused me to fall to the ground right as i started cumming and the moment i toppled over is when mr whiskers reached the top step and i accidentally shot about 2 or 3 fat long ropes of my jizzum into his face. i immediately tried to rectify the situation (still on the ground) by sticking my hand out and petting him but he just started hissing and ran back downstairs scared probably because he thought i sprayed him with acid or something. ive spent the last 45 minutes trying to find/lure him out but nothing has worked and now im really freaking out because my mom just texted me saying that she'll be home in like an hour and what i REALLY dont want is for them to find their fucking dumbass cat covered in my spew. WTF DO I DO like what if its really caked into his fur i dont know because i cant find him anywhere or worse what if he licked it all up and ate it im pretty sure that would be the same as fucking him which would make me a zoophile and then my whole family would find out and think im into that. even worse is i took like 20mg of full spectrum delta 9 gummies beforehand and now im having the worst anxiety of my life i feel like i cant breathe
>>34564805So, first of all, awful story, terrible to read, I hope it's fake. Second, there is no reason for your family to assume that a weird crusty thing on the cat would be jizz. Cats are weird and get up to weird things, the goo on it is just the newest mystery that does not ever need to be solved
>>34564805why the kitchen? why not the shower? wtf is wrong with you, and if it's fake wtf is wrong with you for even coming up with this story...
>>34564805Cats wash constantly. I don't think you need worry.
>>34564842>Second, there is no reason for your family to assume that a weird crusty thing on the cat would be jizz.This. You ever see that movie, "There's Something About Mary?"
lmao OP tell us how it went
>>34564805Just say you're high and haven't seen the cat the entire time because you've been watching YouTube and talking to friends
>>34564805>long story shortNo. Short story made overlong
>>34564951>Cats wash constantly. I don't think you need worry.yeah. with their tongues. i didnt want the thing to lick up my cum and ingest it now i feel super shitty
>>34564923>why not the shower?are you retarded? the point of taking a shower is to get clean not to contaminate yourself inside a confined space. its pretty much the same sentiment as smoking weed indoors, you dont want your space to smell like reefer so sometimes you'll do it outside, which ive done before, jerking off in the driveway next to a busy road that is.
use cat noise compilations on yt to attract a cat
>>34566088>contaminate yourself>In the showerYou're the retard. It's just a bit of jizz, you can wash all traces of it off you. It's not like you're taking a shit and trying to mash it down the drain with your heel
>>34564805
>>34567887if you inject yourself with an AIDs needle in the shower does the shower clean you of AIDs? fuck off retard
>>34564805First of all, terrible, horrible story, I too hope it is fake. At the same time, this is fucking hilarious to imagine if it's true, chill out bro you'll be alright, just say you don't know what the cat got on itself and no one will ever know.>>34570285Now I do understand the sentiment of not wanting to jerk off in your room because OCD and shit because I also am the same way, but you're stupid just do it in the bathroom and shower right after so then you can cleanse yourself
>>34570367im not fucking stupid i know how a shower works but if im gonna behave like an animal im gonna do it where i can easily dispose of the evidence (trash can) and not where i go potty.>chill out bro you'll be alright, just say you don't know what the cat got on itself and no one will ever know.clearly im chill "bro" besides the cat thing is irrelevant because guess what, when i fell some of the semen splashed back and ricocheted onto the floor and wall and because i was so hung up on finding the cat i forgot to clean the area so my family found all my cum the next morning anyway. none of this would have ever happened if you guys actually gave me good fucking dating advice in these threads instead of projecting your own misery onto me. i cant get a gf because im 5'9 so now i jerk off on the cat. hope this made you happy anon.
