Wife had a traumatic experience from her childhood where her Dad drank and changed into a completely different person. I enjoy wine and i have on average 8-10 drinks a week and am by no means like him or am out of control, or even change my personality when I drink. But she still has a problem with that and she knows she needs to work on herself. But she still thinks I will be an alcoholic. Anyone else have a similar situation?
>>34570532>But she still thinks I will be an alcoholicCan you abstain from drinking and consume 0 glasses of wine a month? Serious question. If no than you are an alcoholic, if yes then do so for at least 6 months. Your wife will see you can stop whenever and she will feel like you've acknowledged her trauma and her personal anxiety with the situation and shown her the respect to not drink. You don't have to not drink forever, but what about 6 months? >inb4 I shouldn't have too/ It's not an issueWell your wife is supposed to be the most important thing in your life, a good husband would die or kill for his wife....you can't stop drinking wine for 6 months? That means you're an alcoholic and if you can't stop now at 8 glasses per week you can bet over the years that # of glasses per week will eventually rise slowly, proving your wife right. >In clinical terms, a pattern of compulsive drinking, reliance on excuses to justify it, and an inability to voluntarily cut back below a set baseline falls under the umbrella of Alcohol Use Disorder (AUD). Colloquially, when someone maintains their daily responsibilities despite this, they are often referred to as a "high-functioning alcoholic".
>>34570762i used to drink way more in my university days and even after covid, I've done the opposite where I've tapered down over the years, not snowballed. I've gone a month or more a few times without drinking alcohol. So yes, I can do it for my wife. But I feel like it's a very superficial way to 'prove myself'. She should go to therapy to hash it out
>>34570814Self-control isn't "superficial" though. You are continuing to justify your ongoing dependency on alcohol.
>>34570532cheat on her she sounds abusive asf
>>34571553You're putting an arbitrary period of time on something to prove self control
>>34571630>stop noticing that I'm an alcoholicstop being such an alcoholic then.
>>34570532Anyone who has gone through an AA or program surviving alcoholic family members will raise an eye at 8-10 drinks. If you can halve that to 4-5 maybe having 1 glass a day or maybe 2 glasses twice a week will go a long way.8-10 a week may not quite be alcoholism but it’s almost certainly dependency and will be an issue for her.
