When self-improoving the /adv/iser always forget one thing, the other people, the normies.You can't really force other people to like you. You can't force other people to be your friends. You may self-improoved, got jacked, read 15041563 books, learned 5 new languages, stop jacking off, whatever. None of this will guarantee that other people will like you. They may don't view you as a total loser anymore, may be a bit a friendlier towards you, but after that, everything is entirely up to them. If they already have a stable friend group, why would they need exactly you?It's over.
>>34571516Self improvement is its own reward, its value doesn't depend on other people or how they perceive you. If you haven't realized that yet, then that's exactly the area in which you need to improve yourself the most. Reading Emerson's essay on self-reliance may help.
>>34571530>Thing is it's own rewardWhen these words are said you know gigacopes are incoming
>>34571561Insisting that you're better off wallowing in your own filth because "improvement isn't worth it anyway" is a gigacope.
Who do you think is more likely to make friends or get a gf>self improved anon who is in good shape, has interesting hobbies to talk about, and frequently engages in public activities. Even if some people dont like him or he is turned down he doesnt care because he has confidence.Or>self destructive anon who stays in his room all day, has no hobbies outside of videogames/rotting, and who copes with his isolation through unhealthy methods like alcohol/drugs/escapism. When he is disliked or turned down it is a shattering experience because he is insecure in himself and is not used to rejection.Obviously it is not guaranteed you will be popular or be romantically successful, however you are much less likely to dome yourself if you have your own passions and are actively building towards something.
>>34571626I love how in your examples it's always these two extremes. What if you're on the middle ground? In the end it's a gamble.
>>34571646That doesn't make any sense. Even if you're in the middle you should still be striving towards the positive extreme. If you're drowning and no one else is around, then the only two possibilities are that you save yourself or you die. There's no stable middle ground there, and no situation in which you ought to put in less effort. No rational person would think "what if I only want to save myself from drowning a little bit?" You should be striving towards doing as much good as you can for as long as you can regardless of outer circumstance. It's not a gamble at all, because at the end of your efforts even if people don't like you you've still improved your health and hygiene. There's no negative, and you didn't lose anything other than time you would have spent on video games and jerking off.
>>34571516>You can't really force other people to like you. You can't force other people to be your friends.Sound and reasonable, almost obvious.>You may self-improoved, got jacked, read 15041563 books, learned 5 new languages, stop jacking off, whatever.Have you ever done any of those things? Have you ever fully committed youself to a task that required effort and delayed gratification which could potentially positively impact your life somehow? Does your defeatist mentally allows you to do such things? >None of this will guarantee that other people will like you. They may don't view you as a total loser anymore, may be a bit a friendlier towards you, but after that, everything is entirely up to them.The thoughts produced by your defeatist mentality acquired through over-exposure to obscure internet ideologies (blackpill, incel.is or whatever) aren't some sort of objective truth. They are thoughts, that may of may not translate to reality at all. And, like any other human alive, you're prone to cognitive biases that'll reinforce what you already believe to be truth, which is a lot more efficient to your brain and *way* less threatening to your current identity (le blackpilled doomer chud normie hater) >If they already have a stable friend group, why would they need exactly you?It's over.Mere speculation and defeatist scenario to prevent yourself to leave his comfort zone and face negative feelings such as shame, discomfort, etc. And not saying that it can't happen, then... you move on, feel bad a little, pick yourself up, and move on. Endlessly dwelling in self-pity is pathetic, unproductive and frowned up by anyone (except for people who "live" in a similar way).
>>34571516> You can't really force other people to like you. You can't force other people to be your friends.You’re not supposed to force any of these things. I have never in my life forced anyone to like me or to be my friend and I have made many friends and been part of many groups over the years.Maybe your autism is too strong, but you are incorrectly assuming that friendship and bonding are like puzzles or mathematical equations to be solved. Friendships require the agreement of both sides and are developed through emotional connections like empathy.
>>34571516I improved myself a couple years, around 2021-2023. Learnt a new language, got a job, focused A LOT on my appearance, clothes, health, exercise. Got better hobbies and became a more interesting person overall. As I remained consistent with my improvement peoples perspective of me changed but not overnight. While those who would meet the new me saw me as that “cool” version of myself, It wasn’t until 2025-2026 that the old friends and colleagues saw me as the new person. It takes a bit of time to have past friends notice you’re a new person. Also in my friend group we are always adding new people. If you’re attractive and do well in life plus have a good personality you probably bring in something to the group so that’s usually how that goes. Self improvement is worth it in ALL senses. Don’t be discouraged by mediocre questions, trust the process.
>>34571516>Waaaahh you can't make people give you attention and validation What are you, a fucking woman? Grow a pair of balls and improve for yourself without demanding attention like a spoiled pampered girl
>>34571516Most people on here who seek self-improvement have no friends, are khhv, make little to no money, etc... If your life is already shit, you have nothing to lose by seeking self-improvement.Sure, the chances of you (or anyone really) becoming a gigachad banging 10 women a day are very slim. However, most people, barring some sort of severe physical or mental disability, can at least get a decent job, make a few acquantices, hook up with a few women, etc... just by being in shape, having good grooming and hygeine, and talking to people.Self-improvement for shut-ins provides the potential for massive benefits, while presenting very few risks since the alternative of sitting in your basement doomscrolling social media all day is not enjoyable for anyone.
>>34571516The primary goal of self-improvement should be the improvement of your mental and emotional state. To do this, you should focus on intrinsically valuable stuff, like committing to a sleep schedule, getting consistent cardiovascular exercise, and pursuing interests that excite you. This will improve your level of energy and focus.Extrinsically valuable stuff (shit you only consider valuable because you feel society expects it of you) like reading a million books you don't care about, half-assedly learning two languages you'll forget in six months, and getting jacked, should be ignored in favor of intrinsically valuable pursuits. (you can still lift and learn a language if you genuinely love those things, I'm just telling you not to do them because you feel they're what you're "supposed to do". Always pursue your actual interests)“The wisest men follow their own directionAnd listen to no prophet guiding them.None but the fools believe in oracles,Forsaking their own judgment.” >>34571530this guy gets it.
>>34571516Sorry normies and women aren't the things that I perceive will give me value and complete me so I don't spend every waking moment thinking about how I wish a women would validate me so I don't do things just so that normie bob can nod at me with respect because I don't worship normies like most people here they literally worship women. The thing that u think can give u completeness and meaning, the thing that you perceive as watching you THAT is your god. So when u get self conscious remember that's your GOD looking at you and anxiety is your body asking "what does the thing that I perceive gives me value want me to do right now?!!!" So I lift for no reason. No reason to stop. I'm like the sun I get up and shine. Regardless of what's happening. I get up and just be
>>34571516Also dude here is the thing all this shit u guys talk about every single day boils down to this. U are too scared to take a risk. U want a guarantee and a guarantee leads to madness trying to find a guarantee leads directly to madness. Think about it? Why do we pray why do we do elaborate rituals why do we ask the same question hoping for another answer because we enjoy the fantasy of the guarantee "if I just do this then I will definitely get bitches" but once u get closer and closer to your goal lack reveals itself the insurmountable gap reveals itself u start to realize there is NO guarantee, that's where self sabotage comes from if u cross that line u are now in danger of your fantasy collapsing. Don't u get it? Incels are people who NEED a guarantee but that is a structural impossibility
>>34571516>None of this will guarantee that other people will like you.Um...no kidding? Who ever said it would? What exactly is your point here OP? Whatever it was, it's not as profound or clever as you think.>why would they need exactly you?kek, based ESL
>>34571646How the fuck is it a "gamble" you sperg?The funny thing about the blowback against "improoving" is that most of the things you're typically told to do are what you should have been doing all along anyway.
>>34571516How can it be over when it never began?check mate
